Cindy Lou Who Christmas

Summary

Bad Friends Podcast - Episode Summary

Episode Title: Cindy Lou Who Christmas
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Date: December 22, 2025

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Overview

In this lively, holiday-themed episode, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino celebrate the Christmas season with the distinct, irreverent Bad Friends flavor. The show is filled with improvised Christmas carols, stories of celebrity holiday gatherings, musings on snacks from around the world, fragrant tangents about personal smells, and a chaotic, trivia-fueled round of "Bad Friends Miss Jeopardy." The cast is joined by recurring crew and friends, including Jules and the much-missed Big C via video call, resulting in a festive, raucous, and occasionally heartfelt episode.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Holiday Characters and Sketches (00:35 - 05:35)

• The episode opens with a chaotic introduction: Bobby pretends to be Jack Skellington and Andrew the Grinch, riffing on their roles and poking fun at each other in costume.
• Quick improvised song about Christmas, full of non-sequiturs ("Christmas time is for giving... and receiving, but mostly giving. Mostly receiving for me." — Bobby, 03:15), ending with jokes about looting and staying "pious" for the holidays.

Bobby's Thanksgiving at Michael Bay's House (05:31 - 26:40)

• Bobby recounts an awkward, exclusive Thanksgiving dinner at director Michael Bay's house, joined only by Bay’s fiancée, his mom, and some mysterious “arms dealers.”
• He describes exploring Bay's collection of film memorabilia (props from "The Rock," Ninja Turtle costumes), and shares feelings of social discomfort despite celebrity surroundings.
• Andrew expresses jealousy for not being invited, with playful banter about which Ninja Turtle they'd be.
• They riff on rich Hollywood homes and imagine having their own “Bad Friends compound” neighbors (09:51).

“Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” & Bizarre Enemas (10:31 - 13:46)

• A short conversation spikes about Mormon culture, with comedic speculation about their "secrets" and weirdest habits (drinking Coke as a Mormon “scandal”).
• The group devolves into anecdotes about coffee enemas and Bobby’s personal wheatgrass enema experience during opiate detox ("I woke up in the bathroom with green juice all over...with a tube in my ass, shaking..." — Bobby, 12:17).
• Tangents about ancient colon cleansing and wild alternative health practices abound.

Candy, Snacks, and Cultural Flavors (14:09 - 18:27)

• Quickfire back-and-forth about favorite snacks, particularly Asian candies with surprise centers (mochi, daifuku, etc.).
• Jokes about “dog-flavored chips” and unique international Lay’s chip flavors.
• Filipino banana ketchup (UFC brand) gets dissected to comic effect, with Bobby marveling at its “jungly” sweetness and Andrew trying to decipher the acronym (16:34 - 17:43).

Pizza, Celebrity Status, and Soda Shame (18:39 - 25:40)

• The hosts rave about their favorite local pizza (with short rib inside), sharing small-town celebrity anecdotes about being recognized by restaurant staff.
• Bobby and Andrew lament celebrity homes without soda ("Have you been to my house? It's a soda can. When you turn on your faucet, Diet Coke comes out." — Bobby, 24:39).

Celebrity Encounters, Rumormongering, and Hollywood Penises (25:53 - 27:46)

• Speculative and absurd jokes ensue about directors’ anatomy, notably Michael Bay. Andrew offers a theory: "I bet you, the bigger the movie, the bigger the director's penis." (26:23)
• Bobby shares stories about awkward after-dinner social settings and grapples with his discomfort at social events.

Film & TV Recommendations, Holidays, and Austin Powers Love (28:29 - 32:08)

• The group discusses "Stranger Things" and laments cast aging, as well as recaps favorite holiday movies (heavy praise for the Austin Powers franchise).
• Side conversation about Beyoncé’s and Jay-Z’s supposed scents and fantasies about scratch-and-sniff celebrity trading cards.

Scents & Tastes: Cologne, Life Cereal, and Guava Surprises (32:08 - 37:10)

• Tangents about unusual personal cologne choices (engine smoke, Vietnamese coffee), and confessions about memorable “body flavors” during sexual encounters ("I sucked someone's dick last week and it smelled like guava. It was so good." — Jules, 34:32).
• Playful debate about the merits of "funky" versus "pure" smells in romance and cheese.

Generational Shifts and Growing Up Jules (39:01 - 40:16)

• Bobby and Andrew grapple with Jules’ growing independence, her right to privacy, and their own changing (but still paternal) attitudes as friends/mentors.

Scottsdale Dreams, Mistletoe Moments (40:02 - 41:06)

• Joking about moving to Scottsdale together and eventually sharing a tender, comedic mistletoe moment ("I want to make you happy." — Andrew, 40:19).

Family Movie Traditions, Rental Family, and Japanese vs. Korean Film (43:24 - 48:09)

• The hosts talk about watching "Rental Family" during Thanksgiving; Andrew admits to crying multiple times and heaps praise on Japanese storytelling — but are quickly reminded by Bobby and Jules of Japan’s difficult history in Asia.
• Quick debate regarding Japanese versus Korean cinema, ultimately agreeing that “Koreans right now are leading the film industry” — Andrew (48:01).

Wild Family Stories & Light Dating Updates (49:02 - 50:06)

• Anecdotes about meeting up with old friends and making out in Austin, paired with playful ethnic mystery about a girl’s background.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I woke up in the bathroom with green juice all over...with a tube in my ass, shaking. I was trying to do my own wheatgrass enema."
  — Bobby Lee (12:17)

• "Have you been to my house? It's a soda can. When you turn on your faucet, Diet Coke comes out."
  — Bobby Lee (24:39)

• "I bet you, the bigger the movie, the bigger the director's penis."
  — Andrew Santino (26:23)

• "I sucked someone's dick last week and it smelled like guava. ...It was so good."
  — Jules (34:32)

• "I want to make you happy."
  — Andrew Santino, before the mistletoe moment (40:19)

• "I cried like a fucking bitch multiple times."
  — Andrew, discussing "Rental Family" (46:41)

• "Koreans right now are leading the film industry."
  — Andrew Santino (48:01)

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Game Segment: “Bad Friends Miss Jeopardy” (50:10 - 61:32)

• The crew plays a homebrew version of Jeopardy with Christmas and trivia themes.
• Rules confusion and fake buzzing throughout, leading to frustration and laughter ("You have to buzz on Jeopardy. That's Jeopardy!" — Andrew, 53:55).
• Questions span from classic Christmas movies, music, history, and random facts (“What is the highest selling Christmas song of all time?” — Answer: "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby, 59:28).
• Jules unexpectedly wins with zero by not guessing and “Feliz Navidad” as the final question (61:45).

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Heartfelt Christmas Wishes and Big C’s Return (63:05 - End)

• The hosts and crew share what they want for Christmas, blending jokes and honest, warm wishes.
• Via video call, Big C joins in, sharing reflections about personal growth, embracing criticism and internet comments, and telling a joke about his unique voice.
• Show ends with group goodbyes, gifts (Mad Libs), and a final “Thank You for being a bad friend — and Merry Christmas!” (73:07).

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Segment Timestamps

• Holiday Characters & Songs: 00:35–05:35
• Michael Bay Thanksgiving Story: 05:31–26:40
• Mormon Wives & Enemas: 10:31–13:46
• Snacks & Ketchup: 14:09–18:27
• Pizza, Fame & Soda: 18:39–25:40
• Director Penises Riff: 25:53–27:46
• Movies, TV & Celebrity Scents: 28:29–32:08
• Cologne & Funk: 32:08–37:10
• Jules’ Independence: 39:01–40:16
• Scottsdale/Mistletoe: 40:02–41:06
• Family Movies & “Rental Family”: 43:24–48:09
• Family Visits & Dating: 49:02–50:06
• Bad Friends Ms. Jeopardy: 50:10–61:32
• Christmas Wishes, Big C’s Call & Goodbyes: 63:05–End

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Tone & Style

Unfiltered, ridiculous, and warm, the episode blends Bad Friends’ signature absurdity and heartfelt moments. Jokes skirt the edge but never veer mean-spirited. The group clearly delights in each other’s company, using the holidays as both cover and excuse for a wide-ranging, goofy, and oddly touching celebration.

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A must-listen for fans who crave raunchy Christmas chaos, warm friendship, and the sense that even behind the costumes, Bobby and Andrew are Bad Friends, through and through.

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels and music are made for each other. They share a rhythm in the craft of making something timeless while being a part of legendary nights. From backyard jams to sold out arenas, there's a song in every toast. Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org, jack Daniels and old number seven are registered trademarks. Tennessee whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee.

[B]

You two are bad friends.

[C]

Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something.

[D]

We're bad friends.

[B]

Welcome to bad France. It's wonderful to see you all.

[C]

I'm Jack Skellington. What's this? What's this? There's comics everywhere. What's this? What's this? Tawny Hinchcliffe everywhere. Hello there, Grinch. I'm Jack Skellington.

[B]

Hello, Skellington.

[D]

Hello.

[B]

How are you?

[C]

I'm at Bony Tills.

[B]

And who the funk is that?

[C]

Lulu. Lulu?

[B]

Who's Lulu?

[C]

Who's Lulu?

[B]

Who are you referring to? Me. Who's Lulu?

[D]

Me.

[C]

Are you a luluboboo? Ah.

[B]

You bought me a labubu for Christmas. There is.

[C]

There's a lulubo.

[E]

Boo.

[C]

An expensive one. I'm Jack Skellington.

[B]

I imagine this labubu was a little bit cheaper because it's a Filipino labubu.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

A jungle Lulubu.

[B]

A jungle boo.

[C]

Boo. Yes. Happy holidays to all. I'm Jack Skelton.

[B]

Hello, hello.

[G]

Hello.

[B]

Welcome to the Bad Friends Show.

[C]

Hey. Hello.

[B]

Do you want to play a Christmas song?

[C]

I don't. Well, we can make one up.

[B]

Let's make a Christmas song.

[D]

What kind of snow is this?

[B]

Cancer. It's crack, by the way. This is obviously so cancerous.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, we're gonna breathe this in. We're all gonna have. This is asbestos. Live asbestos.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

Sing me a song. You gotta turn it on.

[C]

Christmas time for you. It's Christmas time for you.

[H]

No.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. You gotta be silent with the red nose and the reindeer. You gotta have pumpkin spice and all the glory as you did. You know. You get it.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, the human spirit's alive this Christmas.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Duality. Duality and expectations. What? What are you doing? Dude, cowbell.

[B]

How do you not know how to do a cowbell? There it is.

[C]

You turn.

[B]

Christmas time is for giving.

[C]

And receiving, but mostly giving. Mostly receiving for me.

[B]

I know. Yeah.

[C]

And taking and stealing and looting. So please, please, don't be biased. Right?

[B]

Just try us.

[C]

Try us. And don't be pious, Mary. To marry.

[B]

To marry.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And don't be trying Trying.

[B]

Right. Yeah. Wow.

[C]

Wow. Really? Is it nice?

[B]

Will you sing a song? Play a rhythm so she'll sing.

[H]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Ready?

[D]

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Be good, eggnog. Don't be on the naughty list. I love Christmas. Yeah.

[C]

Wow. Good. It's a hit. It's a hit. It's a hit.

[B]

It's a hit.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a hit.

[C]

It's a hit.

[B]

Welcome back to Bad Friends. Kwanzaa as well.

[C]

And all of them.

[B]

Yeah. Marry all of them.

[C]

Dude, let's marry. I mean, what do you got? The Buddhists. What do they do?

[B]

Yeah, what do the Buddhists do for Christmas?

[C]

Well, you know, they're eating rice for sure. And they're lighting candles.

[B]

Christmas rice. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. They're also doing.

[B]

I'll tell you what I love about Christmas. It's a white Christmas. I'm the racist Grinch.

[C]

I'm racist as well. I'm Jack and I'm racist. Look at my white face. But my black body. Which means best of both worlds. I'm half.

[B]

Merry Christmas.

[C]

I can't do the mask.

[B]

It's too hot.

[C]

I can't breathe.

[B]

It's far too hot.

[C]

So what'd you do for Thanksgiving?

[B]

What did you do?

[C]

I went to the bae's house.

[B]

Oh, you did go to Michael fucking Bay's house?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You texted me?

[C]

I did. Okay.

[B]

That's insane.

[C]

Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I don't know if it was insane.

[B]

It's crazy. You went to Michael Bay's house for Thanksgiving?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, but it would.

[B]

Hollywood.

[C]

I'll tell you what I didn't do.

[B]

What didn't you do?

[C]

You know. You know, I didn't laugh.

[B]

No photos of you like that.

[C]

We didn't take any photos. No, I. I went there because the worm of the previous year.

[B]

I said, you bailed.

[C]

I bailed.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Out of fear. And then they. Then they.

[B]

We FaceTime Jules from Michael Bay's house.

[C]

Yeah. Because they wanted to talk to Jules.

[D]

Yeah. But I was out.

[C]

She was out. You didn't pick up.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And then it was a little awkward because it's a. I didn't. I thought it was gonna be, like, lots of people, but it was, like, pretty intimate.

[B]

It was just you guys.

[C]

It was me, Michael, his fiance, and then his mom.

[B]

Michael Bay's mom?

[C]

Yeah. She was super sweet.

[B]

Was there an explosion at dinner? Did anything.

[C]

But then I saw Bumblebee. You borrow his shirt?

[H]

What?

[C]

You borrow his shirt? What shirt? Oh, because it's Yellow. Really good.

[B]

Looks like a bumblebee.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what he had, though, there? He, you know, he has, like a little museum down there, and in his, you know, bottom floor, and he had the. You ever see the Rock?

[B]

The movie the Rock?

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

One of my favorite.

[C]

He directed it, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He has that cylinder with the little balls in it.

[B]

No way.

[C]

Yeah. And I, I, I held it.

[B]

Did you want to steal something?

[C]

Yeah, There was like, all those, like, little knickknacks. Wow. Like a full blown Tina. Yeah, that. He has that in his house.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

That's the original. And then he also has, like, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes and all this stuff.

[B]

Did you put one on?

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

I would. What, what Ninja Turtle would you be?

[C]

Michelangelo, definitely.

[B]

Yeah, I'm Raphael.

[C]

Yeah, I know. You're definitely Raphael.

[B]

100.

[C]

Yeah. And you guys thought I was going to be the rat, huh? What's his name?

[B]

Splinter.

[C]

Splinter. I'm not Splinter. That's Splinter.

[D]

I want to be the orange one.

[C]

There's an orange.

[B]

That's, that's Leonardo. No, that's Michelangelo.

[C]

I'm Michelangelo, dude. Yeah. Did that cow Banker did.

[B]

And I'm Raphael. I'm tortured.

[C]

Yeah. What are you?

[B]

Donatello, for sure. Donatello. Donatello has a sigh, right? He's purple.

[C]

Yeah. Donatello.

[B]

That's 100% bob.

[C]

There's a Raphael, right?

[B]

You're. I'm Raphael.

[C]

Oh, you're Rafael.

[B]

I have the size.

[C]

My bad.

[B]

That's her. That's Donatello.

[C]

Donatello. What else is there? And then he goes after dinner. I mean, it was a great dinner, too, but it was, like, awkward because there's a couple of guys there. I think they're arms dealers. I don't know. They're just strange guys in, like, turtlenecks and, like, you know, they're. I don't know if they're Persian. I don't know what they are. And they don't talk much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know who they were. And then afterwards, he goes, let's watch a movie.

[B]

Don't tell me he put on one of his own movies. No, no, that would have been.

[C]

So, no, we watched Running Man. It's a great movie in this theater.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You sent me a picture of the theater. Yeah, yeah. It's huge. Huge.

[B]

How cool.

[C]

He's a full blown movie theater there. Wow. And then they wanted us to come over Saturday to watch a movie, but you were not available.

[B]

You went back.

[C]

No, but they want, they want to watch a movie with Jules. They invited you. I have the invite. But you were out of town.

[B]

You have my invite. Well, they go, why don't I have my end?

[C]

What do they go? Is Andrew and I thought you were in Chicago.

[B]

No, I was here the whole time.

[C]

Really? You could have gone.

[B]

No, I was in Chicago.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. You would have never gone.

[B]

I would have gone with you. To Michael Bay's house? Yeah.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

For sure.

[C]

You would have.

[B]

Fodder for the pod.

[C]

Yeah, fodder for the pod.

[B]

I would have gone. I mean, Michael was very nice when I met him.

[C]

Yeah, he's. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you know, was it strange at some point, like, when you wanted to leave? Were you like.

[C]

I wanted to leave as soon as I got in the house. Because it's not my. I'm. I realized that I'm just not a social person.

[B]

You're not?

[C]

Yeah, I'm not like. I don't do these things. No. I'm not good at it.

[B]

Well, you're. Well, there was food.

[C]

So I eat the food.

[B]

And then you're.

[C]

I'm out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. But then I wandered around and then, you know, in this backyard, there's deer.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah, but if you like. If you go to, like, Bill Mars House.

[B]

You've been to Bill Mars House?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

And it's. You know what these guys do is they'll buy like six houses and they'll just. You connect them all. And it's a compound.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Like one of those. Feel. It's like, vast.

[B]

That's cool.

[C]

One day you and I will have a compound.

[B]

I don't think so. Together. Maybe when I'm.

[C]

No, not individually, but, like, you know, I mean, I'll get this house. There's like three or four buildings. You get the far house, whatever house you want. You know what I mean? And then in the buildings, maybe this one will live there. Maybe the kids here.

[H]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

No, thank you. We want a house.

[C]

And there's a golf cart.

[B]

Oh, the golf cart. From house to house.

[C]

House to house.

[B]

I love this. This is like the secret of Mormon.

[C]

What do you think? Yeah.

[B]

You do?

[H]

It's so good.

[B]

I heard about it for the first time last night.

[C]

What?

[B]

The secret lives of Mormon wives. This is what it's like. Don't they all live, like, right near each other?

[H]

Yeah, they're all in Provo, Utah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, tell me about the secret lives.

[B]

I don't know what to see. What's their biggest secret?

[H]

Because they're Mormon, their secrets aren't a big deal to us. Like, they Just kissed each other's husbands.

[B]

So, like, one time I drank Coke.

[H]

It's exactly.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And everyone's like, yeah, I celebrate my birthday, Miranda.

[C]

I did.

[B]

You bitch.

[C]

I know.

[H]

They do coffee enemas.

[B]

They do coffee enemas. It's. They put coffee in your ass.

[C]

The people are addicted to that shit.

[B]

Well, I mean, I love coffee.

[C]

Yeah, I do.

[B]

Imagine it would be good in my ass.

[C]

No, I. What a strange addiction. There's a show that. And there's.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

There's a couple that do it every hour, and it's getting out of hand.

[B]

You think so?

[C]

What?

[B]

It's getting out of hand.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They shove coffee the first couple months.

[C]

You're like, all right, I'll let it slide. But every hour for, like, six months, it's out of hand.

[B]

So because they don't drink coffee, they can put it in their ass. Is that the loophole? That's like Catholics with anal?

[D]

But what's the point?

[B]

Because then you don't drink it and God's not mad at you, but you put it in your butt and it's fine.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You get high.

[C]

No, you get, like, the same pickup.

[B]

You must get a buzz.

[C]

Yeah, Starbucks. It's like a Starbucks, but high.

[B]

Starbucks.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Welcome to Starbucks. Bend over.

[C]

I've done wheatgrass enemas.

[B]

What? You put wheatgrass in your ass?

[C]

Dude, you don't know the story.

[B]

Wheatgrass ass.

[C]

When I was doing. When I was detoxing off of Vicodin and all my opiates. And then I. And then Abby brought me to that wheat grass farm.

[B]

I remember.

[C]

Yeah. For like, a month.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then I woke up one day, I was, like, going through detox, and I woke up in the bathroom with a fucking green juice all over the bathtub bathroom, the floor, with a tube in my eyes, and I was shaking. I was trying to do my own wheatgrass enema.

[B]

You're doing your own?

[C]

Yeah, but they. But they have the. You know, I mean, the apparatus and all the stuff, and they teach you how to do it, but.

[B]

So this is a normal thing to put wheatgrass up there, or. This was your solution?

[C]

Maybe I improvise.

[B]

I think it's yours.

[C]

Yeah. Think I found a garden hose.

[H]

Right?

[B]

That just sounds like a bit. Someone's like, you know what I did? I made Bobby Lee put wheat grass.

[C]

But look up wheatgrass enemas. Yeah. It's a thing that's.

[B]

I've never heard of that in my entire life.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wheatgrass enema.

[C]

Yeah, It's A. Yeah, it's a whole thing.

[H]

Benefits.

[C]

That's good. Benefits to it.

[B]

I'll tell you what. Probably just as beneficial to drink it than to put it up your butt.

[C]

Yeah. But I think it helps with colon cancer, maybe.

[B]

Oh.

[H]

Helps loosen stool, obviously.

[C]

Yeah, let's stool. Green does it green. That's all it does.

[B]

It's like the river on St. Patty's Day in Chicago.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

This is not a new issue. Thousands of years ago, people were taught how to purify the body with a live, raw, vegan diet and enemas. So people have been doing this for a long time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The ancient Essence sect of Judaism understood that fasting and colon cleansing help clear negativity and toxins out of the physical body so the mind could be quieted and the spirit renewed.

[C]

Yeah, dude, we should do it on the show.

[B]

I guess if the Jews have been doing it for thousands of years.

[C]

I gave Birt Kreisler one.

[B]

You gave him an enema.

[C]

A coffee one.

[H]

I believe you give me a Tic Tac one.

[C]

Yeah, I did. I put. I put a Tic Tac in his butthole.

[B]

Some say that's still up there.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[H]

We had to cut that.

[B]

Yeah, we did have to cut. You doing that. You putting a Tic Tac in his ass. We couldn't air that.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I mean, it's funny.

[C]

It's funny.

[B]

Was it an orange or a white one?

[H]

I think it was white.

[B]

Yeah. Good. Because the white one, the orange ones, I chew too fast.

[C]

The orange ones, you do too.

[B]

It's candy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There. Nobody sucks on an orange Tic Tac. You just eat the whole thing.

[C]

You chew the whole. The whole. Yeah.

[B]

In your mouth. Dude. I got into a car back from the airport, and the guy. You know how sometimes they have, like, mints and water and stuff? This guy had high chew. I love high chew.

[C]

I love I suck on high shoes.

[B]

I told him, I go, I'm going to eat this whole thing.

[C]

You chew on him and suck on them both.

[B]

I chew.

[C]

How long do you suck for?

[B]

I'm a pretty good sucker, dude.

[C]

I suck hard.

[B]

You suck way hard.

[C]

Yeah. Too hard. Almost.

[B]

High chew. So good.

[C]

Hi. Chu is the best, dude.

[B]

So I told him, I said, I'm going to eat all these high chews. He's like, that's all right. That's what they're there for. Eat the hau.

[C]

I love.

[B]

He was such a nice guy.

[C]

And you know what the Asian candies are doing now?

[B]

What?

[C]

They start putting, like, other things in it. Like a little. You know how you suck on Asian candy and then there's, like, a little mochi or something in your mouth. Like a random bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That they stick in there. It's. I. Like, it's a little delight.

[B]

It's a little treat. It's a little thank you.

[C]

It's like. Thank you. Like. Like little things like that.

[B]

Mochi rice, mochi fruitcake, daifuku dessert.

[C]

Yeah, the Asians, really. And they do. You go to get Asian chips. Like, it'll be lays, but they'll have different flavors.

[B]

Oh, I like the foreign flavors.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like. Yeah, the Asian one I had. I think I had. Dachshund was a Chinese chip.

[C]

Dachshund?

[B]

Yeah. Dachshund.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or Weimaraner. I don't remember which one it was.

[C]

Yeah, I had dog. It was, like, dead on.

[B]

That was my joke.

[C]

Oh, that was.

[B]

It didn't land at all in this whole room.

[C]

Oh, Dachshund's a dog.

[B]

Dachshund is a dog.

[C]

Oh, I missed.

[B]

She got it.

[C]

Did you get it?

[G]

I smile.

[B]

It went right over everybody's head.

[C]

No, it went over my head. I didn't know what a dachshund was.

[B]

Or. Or.

[C]

Can we rewind that? It makes me look like a fool.

[B]

What kind of chips did you have? Chinese chips.

[C]

Yeah. What would you have?

[B]

St. Bernard.

[C]

I've had that before.

[B]

Have you had Saint Bernard?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. They're so good.

[C]

They're so good.

[B]

But you really like pug chips.

[C]

The pugs are good. But you know what? Right now. Because I'm on Wegovian.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[C]

I get the Chihuahua. It's smaller. It's a smaller chip. It's a tiny chip. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But you want yourself some Chinese chips.

[C]

But give me the exotic flavors of the Japanese, like, chips.

[B]

They do have really wild flavors.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I kind of like is ketchup. You read ketchup in Canada?

[C]

Yeah, those are good. Those are good.

[H]

My Trader Joe's.

[B]

Now they do.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Give me some unusual chips.

[D]

Banana ketchup.

[B]

What?

[D]

Banana ketchup. Filipino ketchup.

[B]

Banana ketchup?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, dude, that's not.

[C]

It's the wrong fruit.

[D]

Dude, it's so good.

[B]

Banana and ketchup.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Is there tomato in it, or is this made out of bananas?

[D]

There's maybe a little tomato, but it's sweet.

[C]

That's it.

[D]

It's so good.

[B]

Is that banana ketchup?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that the kind you have?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Tammy Sangang.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I want an order of French fries. With banana ketchup. I mean, so jungly to have banana.

[C]

Sponsored by Dana White. Ufc. Ufc. Come up with a different.

[B]

It's a time.

[C]

Chocolate loves ufc. Banana ketchup.

[B]

Banana sauce.

[C]

Ufc. That's insane.

[B]

Thomas. Cha tongue.

[C]

What is that? What's the. It's an abbreviation. But what is this? What does it stand for?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

United Flavored Ketchup.

[C]

Is that what it is?

[B]

No, I'm just.

[C]

Oh, that's really good.

[B]

No idea.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

UFC stands for Universal Food Corporation. So boring.

[C]

But I. I believe that the Japanese look at our flavors and go, oh, I can't believe they do. You know, I mean, barbecue. Yeah. Salt and vino, right? Yeah. Or chive. We never thought of chai.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you think or no?

[B]

Yeah, they must. Honey butter.

[D]

That one's so good.

[C]

Yeah. Honey butters.

[B]

Well, honey butter sounds good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I like honey and butter.

[C]

What's this one? Zoom it in. Just chips.

[B]

Oh, just chips. A lot of words for just chips.

[C]

What does that mean?

[B]

Okay, Doritos. What flavor? Wasabi Doritos. I bet you that's so good.

[C]

Wasabi Doritos.

[B]

Mike. Popcorn. That's a guy named Mike. They made popcorn out of him. And the other one looks like wagyu beef.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

And you know where you get them here is like. Like, vape shops.

[H]

I've seen them, right?

[C]

You go to a vape shop, it's like, why do they have these here?

[B]

The smoke shop you go to, I go to. Because he goes, bobby was just in here, man.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

By the way, last night I went and got pizza.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And the guy's like, the guy who works there. Sweet guy. He's like, Prince.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He's like, are you famous? I was like, no, man. And the guy in the back, he's like. The guy in the back says, you're famous, man. And he comes out, he goes, we should get your picture on the wall. And I was like, no, no. That's very nice. Thank you. And he goes, but it's got to be you and Bobby together. And I was like, okay. He goes, he was here, like, an hour ago. You had just gone to print.

[C]

Yeah. You know what I got there? The greatest pizza I've ever had.

[B]

I just got that with the short rib inside of Bro. It's Bro.

[D]

What?

[C]

Guy.

[B]

Guy.

[C]

Let me say something. Guy.

[B]

So good.

[C]

Not just the best pizza I've ever had.

[B]

Dude. Guy.

[C]

Right. It's. They're ending it.

[B]

No, it's only for a limited run.

[C]

Yeah. They're going to end it, Guy. Right? And I'm telling you right now, Guy, dude, best pizza I' had Guy.

[B]

Except for dominoes.

[C]

Rocket Money. Thank the lord that you've saved me rock money because I'm saving so much money through Rocket Money because I have so many, so many subscriptions, too many.

[B]

And we got rid of them last year. And Rocket Money, for those that don't know, I don't know how you don't know. It's a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[C]

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[B]

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[C]

That's RocketMoney.com Bad Friends RocketMoney.com Bad Friends Shopify. You know what, guy? We have an online business.

[B]

We do.

[C]

We have merch. We have merch and we need Shopify.

[B]

We do.

[C]

Because we only use the best here. Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in store and online operations across up to a thousand locations.

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

You heard them. That's shopify.com bad friends.

[F]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[B]

What did you eat at Michael Bay's house? I want to know what the meal was.

[C]

What? You know what, guy? I'll tell you this.

[B]

Let me guess what, Let me guess what. Michael bay had a 10 pound turkey. Am I close? Yeah, gotta be. Michael Bay had.

[C]

He also.

[B]

He had two or three kinds of stuffing. I bet you one of them was like a gluten free stuffing.

[C]

One stuffing.

[B]

One.

[C]

Yeah, one stuffing.

[B]

Cranberry sauce.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Did he have green bean casserole?

[C]

No.

[B]

Interesting move because the crispy onions are probably one of my favorite things on top.

[C]

But can I, can we go back to the stuffing? Yeah, it was homemade. Not just homemade. High quality breading.

[B]

Yeah, it's homemade.

[C]

Probably. Yeah. Yeah. And it's. I think they use different varieties of bread in the stuffing. Wow. Well, use sourdough and then this brioche. You know, I mean, and these different. Because they were different texture, cube size.

[B]

Right.

[C]

The best stuffing I've ever had. Right. He also insisted, insisted on carving.

[B]

He carved. It's his house.

[C]

Because his dad's a surgeon.

[B]

No, you should let him.

[C]

My dad's a surgeon. I could, you know, be using one of those guys, you know what I mean?

[B]

Well, his dad should have done it.

[C]

You can.

[B]

Oh, he's dead. Car from the after.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, surgeons are the one that should cut a turkey.

[C]

It was a great turkey. And then they had nine varieties of different pies and cakes. It was incredible.

[B]

Pumpkin, apple.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Two cherry Talamuk. Talamuk.

[C]

Talamuk. Ice cream.

[B]

Tilamuk.

[C]

Is that what it is?

[B]

The cheese company. Tilamuk.

[C]

Tilamuk. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Tilamuk.

[C]

Tilamuk.

[B]

Tilamuk.

[C]

Vanilla ice cream.

[B]

Is that fancy or just vanilla?

[C]

I don't.

[B]

Just vanilla? No.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Come on, Michael.

[C]

Here's another thing that I was like, which is when one of the servers.

[B]

Or you know, I mean, you had servers. You didn't go serve yourself. There was Staff there.

[C]

There's staff there. And like. Yeah, that's not what that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And they were like, flat or sparkling water. And I go, I'll have a Diet Coke. We don't do soda here.

[B]

See, this is.

[C]

And already I was like, I don't know. Should I leave?

[B]

What is with celebrities?

[C]

I think I'm gonna leave.

[B]

It's soda celebrities, dude. This is like a Hollywood.

[C]

It's a Hollywood thing.

[B]

Like, we don't. We don't have soda in our home.

[C]

Have you been to my house? Look at what's in the fridge.

[B]

It's a soda can. His whole house is a soda can.

[C]

How many Diet Cokes do we have? A lot.

[D]

There's the upstairs fridge and the downstairs.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. When you turn on your faucet, Diet Coke comes out.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Wouldn't that be sick to do that? That's like Brewster's Millions.

[C]

Another thing is also.

[B]

What time did the sex party start?

[C]

There was only. Well, what happened was there was only his fiance there for the whole. And aside from his mother, so they were the only two ladies there. But then later, another group came.

[B]

Women prospect for you.

[C]

But they were. No, they were all hitched up with, like, guys I don't. I don't know much about.

[B]

They all had. So.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

I'm.

[C]

I'm Nool.

[B]

Oh, I'm new.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I go, what do you do?

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[C]

And you're like, okay. So in my mind, I'm like, oh, there's.

[B]

It's.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

There was no single ladies there. No nothing.

[C]

Yeah. And then. Yeah. And then in the. In the movie theater, there's like. The back row is like a gigantic kind of couchy kind of situation.

[B]

Rut row.

[C]

What?

[B]

Ruhro.

[C]

So it was. Is Michael and his fiance just laying there with the pillows and stuff.

[B]

Sexy.

[C]

And I'm just sitting there in the chair by myself. There was no popcorn. I just sat there.

[B]

No popcorn?

[C]

No. No popcorn.

[B]

This guy's got nine.

[C]

Oh, you know Jeff Beecher was there.

[B]

Peaches. Yeah. They're good friends. I see them at the store.

[C]

Love Beecher.

[B]

They're there all the time. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

What if they're in, like, an open relationship?

[C]

Who?

[B]

And that's why you got invited over.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

They were looking at.

[C]

I would say no.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. Because I know something about Michael that I just don't think I would feel comfortable. He's got the biggest dick in Hollywood.

[D]

And you're not down for that.

[C]

I heard Cameron, too, has a big one.

[B]

It is. It is. True. I bet you director's penis bigger the movie. Yeah, the bigger the movie, the bigger.

[G]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's why directors don't need to be on camera.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They must have nice pipes.

[C]

I think Wes Anderson has a thin one.

[B]

His dick's like.

[C]

Yeah, maybe.

[B]

Maybe this, maybe that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Wes Anderson's penis goes like this. I'm gonna come. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna come.

[C]

Let's move my sack over here because you know what I mean?

[B]

Visually.

[C]

Visually, you know what I mean? It's gotta be, you know, I mean, what does that say?

[B]

Michael Bay has a big. But I'd like to believe mine is bigger. He's up. If he's up for it, we can both reveal ourselves on the Spartacus steps at Universal and put the question to rest. Who is this and who said that?

[H]

It's McG.

[B]

Oh, McG's penis.

[C]

But I want to also say about Michael Bay's penis, what I heard it's also perfect. There's no twist and turns.

[B]

It's straight shooter.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's not. It's not like you're a lefty right. Or a righty.

[C]

Mine leans all the way to the left. My left.

[B]

I'm a righty.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know why, but I. I'm trying to, like, center.

[B]

Trying to get it back.

[C]

Yeah. So I'm trying to go more to the right so it goes back.

[B]

Yeah, you got to pull it right.

[C]

But it. It's been. Been spent so far to the left that it kind of hurts.

[B]

Is. It's almost like it's looking away from you.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It doesn't want what you're trying to do.

[C]

But he's just like, you know, I mean.

[B]

Yeah, leave me alone.

[C]

Yeah, no, you know, I mean. But I try, but then sometimes I just go back to the left. You know what I mean? But it's like, I don't know why I did that.

[B]

I imagine your penis in therapy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like your penis is in therapy smoking a cigarette.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The therapist is like, what. What is a problem? He's like, I don't know. After 54 years, I thought he would just leave me alone, but he just can't seem to stop yanking on my neck.

[C]

You know what Pauly Shores looks like? No, no, it looks just like that.

[B]

A grand.

[C]

Yeah, it's scary.

[B]

Anyway, what did you do for Thanksgiving?

[D]

We just celebrated at the Kalai's place.

[C]

Would you eat the night before? Yeah, the night before, but not the night of. What'd you do the night of nothing.

[B]

What do you mean you guys don't do Thanksgiving ON Thanks.

[C]

I FaceTimed you. And why didn't you pick up?

[D]

Because I was at my friends.

[C]

Doing what?

[D]

Nothing.

[C]

Or you just sit on a couch and just stare at the wall like, what do you mean nothing?

[D]

Watching a movie.

[C]

What movie did you watch? Show.

[D]

Stranger Things.

[B]

Oh, yeah. The new season came. The new season came up and. And 11 is 46 now. How old are those kids?

[C]

Yeah, they're old now.

[B]

I mean, it doesn't even make sense. She's 21 years old and they're still pretending to be like heist or teenagers.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or younger than teen.

[H]

Yeah, they're all early.

[B]

Aren't they supposed to be in middle school or in high school now?

[G]

High school.

[D]

High school.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Good show.

[D]

Yeah.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

How many have you seen?

[B]

I watched the first season.

[C]

I think I did.

[B]

I think I got what I needed out of the first season. The first season I saw should have been a movie. Yeah, it's a great movie, but outside of that, I'm like, what else are you gonna do?

[C]

Are you watching anything right now?

[B]

Yeah, let's see. I watched Pluribus. I didn't see Pluribus.

[C]

I'm caught up. It's so good.

[B]

It's good.

[C]

It's so weird. Do you like it?

[H]

Yeah, it's great.

[B]

Weird. Good.

[C]

It's weird. Yeah.

[B]

We watch throwback movies over. Over the holidays. My sister loves retro movies when we go home, so we'll sit for hours and hours. We ran through all of the Austin Powers series, of course. One probably one of genuinely some of the greatest front to back comedies. I mean, two is by far the best. I Want to take over the world. It's so good. It's layered with jokes.

[C]

Yeah, like layered.

[B]

Layered. Layered with jokes. By the way, did you see what Beyonce wore to F1? When I was in Vegas. Did you see that? Did you see that?

[C]

No.

[B]

I was in Vegas for the. I didn't stay for F1, but I went for the week of. Look what she wore. Jesus Christ. She's a runner. She's a track star.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

And Jay Z just wore all black and she wore an unbelievable outfit. I think it has a cape on it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Fly away with me.

[D]

She's so perfect.

[B]

She is perfect, huh?

[C]

They probably smell so pure.

[B]

She. I bet you she smells like. You ever been to.

[C]

Do you know what? Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Like, if you see a Rihanna and you just go, I smell their photos and I imagine they should do scratch.

[B]

And sniff trading cards.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So you know what they smell like.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You ever been to Iceland?

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

Have you ever been to a place with that's remote, that has like fresh water flowing? That's what she smells like, fresh water flowing.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Now Jay Z, how does he smell?

[C]

Unbelievable.

[B]

See, I just think he's got his own scent now. Like he probably. You know, you get so these people that get so famous and rich.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They have like made up colognes that you're like. I don't even know if that smells good or just weird.

[C]

Yeah, well, I'm like that.

[B]

No, you smell. You smell good. You smell very good.

[C]

Yeah, but how much cologne? I mean, I, I try to buy the weirdest colognes I can get.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I try to mix a match.

[B]

Do you have frog ward on tonight? Don't you? Frogwarts?

[C]

No, no.

[B]

No, no. The mood killer.

[C]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know you. I thought you were being serious. There was an actual cologne.

[B]

There is.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You own it.

[C]

Yeah. Because there are smells that I'm buying that are like.

[B]

I know, you told me some of the peculiar things that you've got.

[C]

Yeah. Like Vietnamese coffee and stuff.

[B]

Oof. That one I'll take.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'll take the other coffee. Turkish coffee.

[C]

Yeah, I love. Let's come up with that.

[B]

If they don't have it, do the thing. What you and I could do a scent. A scent line.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Be rad. Because we always smell pretty good.

[C]

Yeah, that's too.

[B]

Does she. Do you wear perfume?

[D]

Not really.

[B]

Do you wear deodorant?

[D]

Sometimes.

[B]

When, when, like. What day do you choose to wear deodorant?

[D]

When it's like really hot. But most of the time I just don't wear it.

[B]

Yeah, it's probably better for you.

[C]

Everything has an essence. What's your think about? Think about this.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Even if, like, I don't want to be controversial, but even like an ied. A bomb. Right. If you smelt an ID bomb. Right. There's probably, you know, I mean, flavor.

[B]

It'S got an essence.

[C]

No. Yeah, just listen, just listen. Don't read right back on the essence. Right.

[B]

No, dude, bombs have an essence. I know, it's crazy.

[C]

I know what I'm saying. No, that one, they're off.

[B]

That's the commercial smell like you've just been bamboozled.

[C]

Not when they're off. Not when they go off. I mean before when you're making it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

The smell of the smell of, like, let's just came up with a different one.

[B]

Like, oh, no, that one's good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I'll smell like a suicide bomber. That commercial would be awesome.

[C]

That's what I meant.

[B]

Such a good commercial.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So you want to smell like death. Death by Calvin Klein.

[C]

Okay. Yeah. That probably has an essence.

[B]

It's got an essence.

[C]

Notes. There are notes in it. There are. There are flavor notes in it. Right, right, right. That you can't smell anywhere else. So you know the T shirts I get.

[B]

Yeah. From madewell.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. So I went to their factory once, right?

[B]

Downtown.

[C]

No, it wasn't downtown. They used to have a place on Fairfax, Right?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And I used to go in there, and the guy that, you know, I mean, created, the president of the brand, he goes, you know, I created a cologne, but it's like, no one likes it, but I like it. And I go, what is it? It's called smoke. And I wanted to see, like, you know, and like a car engine smoke. A combination of these kind of fuel, like, smells. And he gave me a bottle, and I used it all. And it smelled like, you know, I mean, I had just came out of a coal mine, but. But people would go, you know what I mean? Interesting. You know, I mean, oak some. Yeah, Sometimes, you know, I mean, interesting. It doesn't smell, like, good. It just has to smell interesting.

[B]

Interesting can be better than good.

[C]

Yeah. So what I'm saying is, is that.

[D]

I don't want to smell bad.

[B]

Yeah, but it doesn't smell bad.

[C]

No, it just smells unique. It smells unique.

[B]

Like, what's your favorite smell on a guy? Nothing you don't like. You like, people have their own body scent.

[D]

Yeah, but I suck someone's dick last week, and it smelled like guava.

[B]

We'll be right back. Holy. Like guava.

[D]

It was so good.

[B]

It tasted like lava.

[D]

Tasted and smelled like guava. I was shocked.

[B]

What do you put guava lotion on?

[D]

I don't know, but it was so good.

[C]

She obviously blew a koala.

[B]

With some.

[C]

Sort of, you know what I mean? Tree animal, you know what I mean, that ate a guava. Right. And.

[G]

And she.

[C]

He peed guava. Yeah. And it was some sort of, like.

[B]

Guava tastes like a mix of strawberry and pear with tangy, sweet, floral flavor and juicy, sometimes grainy texture. He probably put guava lotion on his wiener.

[D]

I don't know. But it was good.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. The best tasting you've ever had.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. Well, I. I. May I throw in my Bit.

[B]

Yeah. They have flavored lube.

[H]

I was just googling for my own.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

There's a girl I'm seeing that has, you know, I mean, you know what hurt? Yeah.

[B]

It tastes like Life Life cereal. I love.

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

2% or 1% milk?

[C]

No, no. What?

[B]

2% cinnamon life. Oh, Cinnamon Life. So good.

[C]

It. It tastes like. There's no, like, you know, I mean, we're. It's pure water.

[B]

Like, not for me.

[C]

What do you need?

[B]

I like a little. I got a little stinger. I want it to be like, ooh.

[C]

Right? I want it like whiskey.

[B]

I want it to shock you a little bit.

[C]

Have a burning in your.

[B]

Just a not burn, but okay. Just like a little like, oh, oh, oh, it's the afternoon.

[C]

No. Yeah.

[B]

I want to taste the day. Let me taste the day.

[C]

Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I like life.

[B]

You like life?

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Well, it's just, like, pure.

[B]

It's. It's for. It's like. It's like how Beyonce smells.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Pure.

[C]

And there's no be, like. And she's a white person.

[B]

Of course.

[G]

Why?

[H]

You said pure.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, that's not what I say. Because usually when you date.

[B]

Damn, dude.

[C]

No, that's not why I said that. That's not what I'm saying.

[B]

Do you have in mind when you say pure?

[C]

What? Which color do you have in mind when I say pure? It could be Beyonce, is what I'm saying.

[B]

But was it?

[C]

No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't what I'm saying. Let me. Can I have my points out, man? Please, please, please. Okay.

[B]

Please.

[C]

What I'm saying is, is that, you know, I've been some. With some white women.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And there's. There's been, like, a funk sometimes.

[B]

We got the funk.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, we got the funk.

[C]

Like Studio 54. It smells like Studio 54.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. We got the funk. We got the funk. Yeah. We got the funk. We got the. Yeah, that. I don't like that George Clinton. Yeah, yeah. It' like George Clinton. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It smells like Parliament and the Funkadelic and the.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't like it.

[B]

I love it.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

A little bit of funk. A little bit of stank. Do what? You only like American cheese. You only like, like, cheddar. You don't like any funk cheese?

[C]

No, I don't like, you know, the. The sweat between Miles Davis's lips. Yeah, that. I don't want that. Yeah, I don't want the sweat between the lips. You know what I mean?

[B]

So is this guy that you're hanging out with now? Are you gonna get a Christmas gift?

[D]

I don't know. Maybe.

[C]

She really likes it.

[B]

Serious, huh?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're gonna get him a gift?

[C]

Well, first of all, I thought you were gay.

[D]

Everyone thinks I'm gay.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. And I guess we're. You're not.

[D]

Yeah. I think I thought because I went to Joshua Tree and she thought, oh, you're gonna have a lesbian gang bang with all your friends?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

I'm like, no.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

Okay.

[B]

How many people went like four girls. Okay, Jules, that does sound like a Joshua Tree. Yeah, they're like, we're all piling the Subaru.

[C]

Also didn't do hallucinogenics.

[B]

What'd you guys go out there to do?

[C]

They watch Stranger Things.

[D]

Birthday weekend, we just went hiking.

[B]

Sounds like a gang bang.

[F]

No.

[C]

Drinking.

[D]

Drinking?

[B]

Drugs?

[G]

No drugs?

[C]

Weed? Nothing?

[D]

No.

[B]

Do you don't do drugs ever?

[D]

I don't really do.

[B]

Well, do any of your. Do your friends do drugs?

[D]

No.

[B]

That's good.

[C]

They're all like her.

[B]

They're just chill.

[C]

They chill. Here's the thing, Jules. Since we raised you, we view. I feel you like you're in high school or, you know, I mean, so let's stop that.

[D]

I know the talk. What do you mean, the talk?

[C]

I don't. It's. You're too young.

[D]

It gets mad when I go out with friends.

[C]

When you. When. When Macan goes. You know what? I was at an after party at 4 in the morning, you know, I saw there. I go, who? Jules.

[B]

She's an adult.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

She can do whatever she wants.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

How old are you now?

[D]

24. Yeah.

[B]

What the fuck do you.

[C]

I mean, I know exactly.

[D]

Bobby gets mad at me.

[C]

I went to rehab. My first rehab, I was 14. Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

[B]

She's 24 years old.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

She's a grown up. She can do whatever. Will you worry about. You don't worry.

[C]

I do.

[B]

Do you have her location?

[C]

No.

[B]

You don't worry enough.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You should have her location if you really cared. Turn on your location.

[F]

No.

[B]

Do it. Why kick her out of the house if she doesn't turn on location?

[C]

Yeah, turn on your location because you got it.

[B]

He wants to know where you are at all times. He's worried.

[C]

Does Kalila have your location?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. So then. Then I'm fine. I don't have to.

[B]

Okay. But you'll ask her if you need to know?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Phoenix was awesome and I want to move There.

[C]

Yeah. Great restaurants.

[B]

I do. I want to move to Scottsdale.

[C]

I do, too.

[B]

Are you being serious?

[C]

Yeah. I would move there.

[B]

Let's move the show to Scottsdale. I would love it. I. I would love it. I can golf every day and.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Every day. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I'd be closer to my mom.

[B]

True.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We'd be closer to everything.

[C]

Yeah. You want to go?

[B]

It would make me so happy.

[C]

I want to make you happy.

[B]

I want to make you happy. No. Yes, you.

[C]

What is this?

[H]

Having a moment.

[B]

Dude.

[G]

All right.

[B]

He rigged it. You rigged it.

[C]

It's bad luck if you don't do it.

[G]

You have to.

[C]

It's mistletoe.

[G]

Can I grab your head?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[I]

Coca Cola for the big. For the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers. Risk takers for the optimists, pessimists for long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers for old friends and new Coca Cola for everyone. Pick up some Coca Cola at a store near you.

[C]

Limu Emu and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in.

[B]

Its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us.

[C]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[B]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings Fairy Unwritten by Liberty Mutual.

[C]

Insurance Company and affiliates, excludes Massachusetts.

[I]

Marshall's buyers are hustling hard to get amazing new gifts into stores right up to the last minute. Like a designer perfume for that friend Who Never Arts VP'd wishlist topping toys for her kids who came too. Belgian chocolates for the neighbor. A cozy scarf for your boss. And a wool jacket for your husband that you definitely did not. Almost forget Marshalls. We get the deals, you give the good stuff even at the last minute.

[H]

Phew.

[I]

Find a Marshall's near you.

[B]

I didn't like that one bit.

[C]

What's this Kill Bill thing?

[B]

The whole bloody affair. It was a family movie because we all love Kill Bill. And I want to see 1 and.

[C]

2 and he edited it together.

[B]

I think there's some more footage, extra back footage.

[C]

I think that it's gonna move seamlessly between two movies, though.

[B]

That's the whole goal.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. I'm excited.

[C]

I'm excited. I've never seen anything like that then.

[B]

It's funny because when I saw them both, I've seen them both in the order that obviously they were released, but I saw Them so far apart. I want to see what it feels like when I'm back to back.

[C]

Which one do you like? Which one do you prefer?

[B]

Two.

[C]

You do?

[B]

I think two is a better movie.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I mean, I think one is great. I just think two is just a. I don't know why. I think maybe nerd wise, I think cinematically, two is more rad.

[C]

Yeah. It looks. Some of the fight scenes in one is so good, though.

[B]

They are good.

[C]

Like the bar. The Go Go bar. What is it?

[H]

Right.

[C]

That's an incredible.

[B]

Just think two is. I don't know why I like it so much.

[C]

The fight scene between Uma and I didn't move with her. What's her name?

[B]

So annoying when you think of her name. She's so famous.

[C]

Yeah. And that. That house scene with Vivica Fox, that fight is. That's in the first one, right? Incredible.

[B]

Fighting her while she's trying to, like, temper her child.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's sitting and having coffee.

[C]

Well, they fight first and then they see the bus drop her off.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then pause.

[B]

They start fighting.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And then they stop and then they have coffee together, which is awesome.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's a great movie. I just think two. I don't know. What's your vote?

[H]

Two.

[B]

Two, one. Both ones.

[C]

Yeah. I think one too. Yeah. Have you seen them? Yeah.

[D]

Maybe watch them.

[B]

I mean, they're both great. I don't know why. I mean, you know, they're both off.

[C]

I can't wait. Yeah.

[B]

Exciting, dude.

[C]

It's pretty exciting.

[B]

By the way, we went to the movie with. With my family over Thanksgiving is my favorite thing in the world. You know, jokingly, my sister was like, well, let's go see the. The magician movie you're in. And I was like, I don't. I don't really want to. I don't want to go to the theater with you guys and see that. I don't. I don't want to. And then my dad from the front of the house, he goes, I. I got a movie.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, what? What do you want to see?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's like, nuremberg. I was like, we're not gonna go see the Nazi trials in Chicago. It's dark at 3:30.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Gray all day. I don't want to go see the Nazi trials. He goes, it's fucking history. I go, I know. It's important. I was like, I know what happened.

[C]

That's incredible.

[B]

And he was like, what do you want to see? Then we all decided to go see Rental Family. And I'm not kidding.

[C]

Masterpiece.

[B]

I cried five times.

[C]

Masterpiece.

[B]

Five times. I cried five times.

[C]

Movies I've seen.

[B]

Did you see? I put it up on Instagram. I said, this is one of the best movies I think I've seen in fudgeing years.

[C]

I got to see it.

[B]

It's so fucking good.

[C]

It looks good.

[B]

And I'm going to say something that sounds out of pocket.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Japanese people are the best.

[C]

No, they're not.

[B]

Yes, they are.

[C]

Dude. They're not the best. They are Occupied China, Korea. They're oppressors.

[D]

Kings. What about Filipinos?

[C]

Yeah. Right. They go to the Philippines.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What do they do to your people?

[D]

They murdered. They killed everyone.

[C]

Everyone.

[D]

Japan.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, it's so good.

[C]

Yeah. Now you're seeing them in there. Oh, you're sorry.

[B]

No, they're not sorry.

[C]

Yeah. We do bad things who are sorry. Yeah. No, we never forget. Right. And never forget the reason. Exactly.

[B]

So good. And I'm gonna. This is. Don't take this the wrong way, world. The movie's so strong.

[C]

I bet it.

[B]

Story wise, structure wise. Brendan's a great actor, but he doesn't like. He doesn't need to be. Do you know what I'm saying? The movie's fantastic. So it's not like he doesn't need to overact. He doesn't need to like.

[C]

And does he?

[B]

No, no. I'm saying his emoting is good. It's just a lot of times in this kind of film, it's so emotion driven. You like, you see actors, like, overact the thing. He doesn't need to. He kind of stays level. And your heart. I cried like a fucking bitch multiple times.

[C]

He does deliver.

[G]

He slam.

[B]

It's a home run Oscar. Unfortunately, no. Because the. It's not getting enough attention. Don't you agree? I don't think anyone's.

[C]

I mean, on my TikTok, it's every.

[B]

Other I. I know, but that's. That's Internet driven. Is not going to be the same as the business. The business is going to want something.

[C]

You know, like, why don't you do the Predator Badlands?

[B]

I don't want to.

[C]

Yeah. It's like everything that I ever say to watch, you haven't seen.

[B]

That's not true. I've seen everything that you want me to see.

[C]

My right. No, nothing. Nothing.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, nothing.

[B]

Stand my ground.

[C]

And it's because you don't trust my opinion on things.

[B]

I trust your taste wholeheartedly. You have phenomenal taste, though. I won't because I just wanted to see what I want to see. I'm a very like, I want to see this. Right? This is what I want to see. And my dad was mad for an entire week that we didn't go see. He cried Nuremberg and walked out being like, you should have saw Nuremberg. Like he was.

[C]

But did he like rental.

[B]

Loved.

[C]

He loved it. The whole family. It's a family movie.

[B]

It's so good. And honestly, dude, Japanese, God damn, they're rad.

[C]

Would you see the Japanese currently do better films than Koreans?

[B]

Koreans right now are leading the film industry.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

100%, but that's just a fact. Yeah, well, that's not an arguable. That's a. I think that's objective. Best movies come out of Japan.

[C]

Historically.

[B]

Yeah. The best directors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But right now, Koreans, I mean, K pop, Demon hunters, Korean dramas. Yeah, K Drama. K Drama.

[C]

That was in. Now you can see me, part three.

[B]

Who, me?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, you.

[B]

I was in it. I think I'm in it for like 5/10 of a second. I think it's like a frame.

[C]

That's not true.

[H]

No, it's longer.

[C]

It's longer.

[B]

You didn't see it?

[H]

No, my parents did and they told me it was longer at the beginning. It wasn't just a scene at the beginning.

[B]

I love your mom.

[H]

Yeah, they made me see Nuremberg.

[B]

You saw it?

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

How good? How good is it?

[H]

I got in trouble for vaping in the theater by my dad.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, your dad did?

[H]

No, I. He got mad at me for vape.

[B]

I thought he said the staff got you in trouble. You're like, what is this, Nazi Germany? I can't vape in the theater.

[C]

What kind of. Oh, so you still spend wholesome time with your family?

[B]

He just went back?

[C]

Yeah, I was so nice.

[H]

It was fun.

[B]

Tell them about Texas. Who did you see?

[H]

I saw Tony.

[B]

Him and Tony hung out.

[H]

I saw Tony.

[C]

You're in Austin?

[H]

Yes.

[B]

When's last time you guys hung out?

[H]

Last time I saw Tony was Benji's wedding. Like 2021. Yeah, it was a while, but I saw.

[C]

What'd you guys do?

[H]

I just went to Mitzi's a couple times.

[C]

Oh, that's nice.

[H]

With people there.

[C]

It's fun though, right? Old friends.

[B]

What were you doing in Mincy's?

[H]

Just hanging out, smoking weed.

[B]

It's a late night bar I got.

[H]

You know why I really went? It's because Red Band hit me up and said there was a girl there that wanted to talk to me. And I went and talked to her and she drove me home and we made out and.

[C]

Guava. Guava dick or no guava?

[H]

No guava.

[B]

How did her dick taste?

[H]

No, there's no guava. No nothing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No hookup.

[H]

No. No hook up.

[B]

Good boy.

[H]

Yeah. And also because my mom was inside, I was like, oh, you can't come in. It's loud. My dog will be a whole thing.

[C]

Why couldn't you go to her place?

[H]

Because she's staying with her brother in Austin.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

So, yeah, let him join.

[C]

White?

[H]

No, actually not white.

[C]

Good.

[H]

I think maybe kind of Indian.

[C]

Oh, what's this? Oh, bad friends. Ms. Jeopardy. The categories are movies, music, history and random.

[B]

Bad friends.

[G]

Ms. Bad friends Ms. Jeopardy.

[B]

All right, let's see it. Here we go. You ready to play?

[C]

I don't know how the game Jeopardy. Plays.

[G]

Just have to ask things in the form of a question.

[C]

Okay. In the form of a question.

[G]

Bobby Stars. You can pick any number, but if you get it wrong, you go down.

[C]

That's fine. I'm going to lose. You know that, right? Okay. I'll have a hundred dollars. Movies, please.

[G]

This is the name of Chevy Chase's character in Christmas Vac.

[B]

Do I get to steal?

[C]

Can you give me the last name?

[G]

No, no. That's the hardest part.

[C]

I pass.

[B]

Clark W. Griswold.

[G]

100 points for Andrew. Negative 100 for Bobby and Jules.

[C]

Negative.

[G]

Negative 100 for Jules. Back to the Jeopardy.

[C]

Board.

[G]

All right, Andrew, it's your board.

[B]

Movies. Movies, 200, please.

[G]

Movies, 200. Kevin McAllister gets left behind in this classic Home Alone.

[B]

What is Home Alone?

[G]

What is Home Alone?

[C]

That's it.

[D]

I guess.

[C]

What is Home Alone?

[G]

Good job. Everybody gets that one. 200 points for everyone.

[B]

This is not working. Yeah.

[C]

Why?

[B]

Because we got a buzz.

[G]

Individual. Yeah, yeah. Buzz an individual. All right.

[B]

All right. Rudy, you're up.

[D]

I'll do random.

[B]

Random for how much?

[G]

Dollar amount.

[B]

Go high. Go big.

[D]

300.

[B]

Nice.

[G]

Random for 300. Santa Claus's wife is the most underappreciated person in Christmas. This is her name?

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

I.

[G]

If you want to pass. Bobby.

[C]

Who is Mrs. Claus?

[G]

Who is Mrs. Claus?

[B]

That is her job.

[G]

Bobby.

[B]

So we have to fake buzzing?

[C]

Yeah, I just tapped.

[B]

Don't tap the piano.

[C]

Why? So since we clear that hard.

[G]

Bobby's in first. 300 to nothing. To nothing.

[C]

I mean, I have.

[B]

I. I have 200.

[G]

We cleared after we.

[B]

No. Okay, you. I'm not taking away my points. He only.

[C]

Where's my buzzer? Okay. I'll just tap this, then. Okay. I'll tap the Santa.

[G]

We're tied 200 to 200. And then negative 100 for Jules.

[C]

Okay?

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Is it my turn now?

[G]

Yep.

[C]

All right. History for 200.

[G]

History for 200. Jesus was born in this little town I got it. Since he guessed oh.

[B]

What? What is the point of the buzzers, then?

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I guess I chose it. What? I get there.

[B]

What's the point?

[C]

My turn.

[G]

I don't know.

[B]

Fancy.

[G]

Whose turn is it? Bobby.

[C]

Yeah. Where is Bethlehem?

[G]

You are correct.

[B]

I don't understand.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, good.

[C]

You're just mad because I'm ahead. You're gonna get ahead. Get ready. Go. History for 100.

[G]

History for 100. This was the first song broadcast in space.

[C]

I pass.

[B]

We are the World. What is we are the World?

[G]

We are the world is not right. Jules, you want to have a chance to guess, or do you want to pass?

[D]

What is. Where is the love?

[G]

No, it's Eagle Bells. This is Christmas.

[C]

Oh.

[G]

So Jules is at negative 200, Andrew's at 100, and Bobby's at 3.

[C]

I still run the boar.

[G]

You.

[C]

All right?

[B]

What am I at?

[G]

You are at 100.

[B]

What is he at?

[G]

He is at 300.

[B]

Okay. I don't. I don't get it. Are we not buzzing in?

[C]

No. I run the board, and once I.

[B]

Get it wrong, that's not what Jeopardy.

[G]

Should buzz.

[B]

What the fuck are we talking about? That doesn't even make sense.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

You have to buzz on Jeopardy. That's Jeopardy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You buzz in Jeopardy.

[C]

You buzz in.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Okay, so you pick the question.

[C]

I didn't know how. I don't know how. I've never seen it.

[B]

You all right?

[C]

Ready?

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Music for 200, please.

[G]

Music for 200. Santa's three reindeer whose name start with D?

[B]

Dasher. Oh. Who is Dasher? Donner. Who is Dasher? Who is Donner? Who is. Dirk Diggler? No. Who is Dasher? Who is Donner? I don't know. I don't know the full third.

[C]

I don't know either.

[G]

Three, two. It is Dasher. Dancer.

[B]

Dancer. Oh, dancer. I never remember Dancer.

[G]

I don't remember 200. So it is still Bobby's board.

[C]

Thank you. Random for 200.

[G]

Random for 200. This famous ballet takes place over Christmas.

[B]

What is the Nutcracker?

[G]

Correct. The Nutcracker.

[C]

Let's go. He's fast.

[G]

So Andrew is up to 100 points now.

[B]

Cool. All right.

[G]

Oh, you're up to 400?

[B]

Yeah. Here we go.

[C]

You're ready to Go.

[B]

All right, I want to take random for 400.

[G]

Random for 400?

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

The meal Japanese people have for Christmas dinner.

[H]

Who got that?

[B]

What? Oh, I did not mean to buzz. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[C]

You have to answer.

[B]

What is duck?

[G]

Does anyone else want to give a chance at it?

[C]

What is omakasa?

[G]

Does anyone else want to give a chance to guess it?

[D]

No, I don't know.

[G]

That's wise, Jules, because These guys lost 400 points. It's KFC.

[B]

Ah, that's right. So I'm down to zero. He's down to zero. He's negative.

[G]

Negative 100.

[B]

All right.

[G]

Negative 100.

[C]

Oh, if you guess that, negative 200.

[B]

Yeah. It's Jeopardy. They take your money away.

[G]

So it's. It's a pretty close game still.

[C]

Okay, go ahead.

[B]

All right, it's who's Bored?

[G]

We'll give it to Jules.

[D]

Movies for 300.

[G]

Movies for 300. This man plays the lead in 1946.

[C]

I got it.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Who is Jimmy Stewart?

[G]

Oh, that is correct Jimmy Stewart.

[B]

Can you be careful with the piano? That's mine.

[C]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[B]

We'll lift the mic off of the.

[C]

All right, I apologize.

[B]

No, thanks, man.

[H]

Sorry, man.

[G]

It's Bobby's board once again.

[H]

Okay, hold on.

[B]

Yeah, we'll get it.

[C]

You're acting really weird right now. Dude, when you get competitive.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

There's something goes on in your eyes, you know? I mean, there's stuff going on. I don't like it.

[B]

Get stuff going on in your eyes.

[C]

Okay, all right, all right. Movies for what, 400? Yeah, go ahead.

[G]

The highest grossing Christmas movie of all time.

[C]

Bobby, what is it? It's a Wonderful Life.

[G]

That's incorrect. Anyone else want to try Home Alone?

[B]

Yeah. What is Home Alone?

[G]

What is the Grinch 2018? Negative 400 for everyone.

[B]

Wow.

[G]

So Jules is at negative 600. Andrew's at negative 400. Is that negative two?

[B]

Nice, Bobby.

[C]

I'm still running it.

[G]

It's Bobby's board.

[B]

All right.

[G]

Movie is all done.

[C]

Okay. Music for 300.

[G]

Interscope Records, 1987 Christmas compilation, a Very Special Christmas had its proceeds donated to this charity.

[D]

What is AIDS?

[G]

No. Does anyone else want to guess?

[B]

What is AIDS?

[C]

I've been asking that question since 1988. Like, what is it?

[B]

I don't know. I'm not gonna guess.

[C]

As soon as I heard wham's first song hit, I didn't know what it was.

[B]

What is it?

[G]

The Special Olympics. A Special Christmas.

[B]

All right. Music for 400. Music for 400.

[G]

For 400. This 1980s Christmas song is a rare example of a holiday song that uses the f slur. Popular 1980s Christmas song.

[B]

I mean, it's going to be my new favorite, whatever it is.

[C]

Yeah, it's definitely an AIDS song.

[B]

When did Philadelphia come out?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't really know.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know.

[B]

Christmas song. I'm not gonna. I don't know.

[G]

Pass on this.

[B]

What is it?

[G]

It is Fairy Tale of New York by the Pogues.

[B]

Love the Pogues.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

All right. Music 300.

[G]

Music 300 is 100. Is the only one that's open.

[B]

Then that.

[G]

What is the highest selling Christmas song of all?

[B]

Go ahead, girls.

[D]

What is Mariah Carey's.

[G]

You gotta get anyone else want to guess what?

[B]

It's the highest selling Christmas song?

[G]

It's one of the highest selling songs of all time. As well as being the number one Christmas song.

[C]

Can I just take the song or no?

[B]

Yeah, go ahead.

[C]

I can't do it. I don't know enough for sure.

[B]

Do it.

[G]

It's only 100. You're not gonna lose much by guessing.

[C]

Am I still on top?

[G]

Technically, yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. I don't know the song, but can I sing it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

[G]

Correct.

[B]

I'm not gonna guess. Fuck you.

[G]

It is Bing Crosby's White Christmas.

[C]

I knew it was Bing Crosby. Who sings chestnuts the best?

[G]

Nat King Cole.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

All right. How many musics are left?

[G]

No more musics left. We have history for three and four.

[B]

And history for three.

[G]

History for three. George Washington was busy doing this on December 25, 1776.

[B]

He was crossing the Potomac.

[C]

I don't know.

[G]

He was crossing the Delaware.

[B]

I meant Delaware. I don't know why I said the Potomac.

[G]

So currently we are sitting at Jules with negative 1000, Andrew with negative 700, and Bobby in the lead with negative 100. No, no, negative 300.

[B]

300. Yeah.

[G]

Okay, so we have history for 400. And random for 100 left.

[B]

History for four. Let's do it.

[G]

St. Nicholas was born in this modern day country.

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

Germany. What is Germany?

[G]

That is incorrect. Does anyone else want to try to guess?

[C]

I might as well.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

He's so far behind.

[B]

Yeah. It doesn't matter.

[C]

What is Denmark?

[B]

Oh, that's good.

[G]

I don't think so.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

Why'd you say you don't think so?

[G]

I don't know much about Europe, but it's Turkey.

[B]

Turkey's different from holy. Do you think Denmark and Turkey are the same?

[C]

They're not the same. They're completely different.

[G]

Turkey by Istanbul.

[B]

Istanbul is in Turkey.

[C]

Yeah.

[I]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He's running the game.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, let's go. One more.

[G]

One more left.

[B]

This is for everything. You get this, you win.

[G]

You can still do Final Jeopardy.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[G]

You can.

[B]

All right. Whatever. Well, we all just took a loss on that.

[G]

Frosty the Snowman's pipe is made from this corn.

[B]

What is corn cob?

[C]

No, that's correct.

[G]

What is corn cob?

[C]

That's a hundred. What's that?

[G]

He is at?

[B]

Well, we Both just got 400. Wrong again.

[C]

I know.

[G]

He's at negative a thousand. Jules is at negative a thousand.

[B]

And Bobby, he's negative 600.

[G]

Negative 6, 7, 8, 900.

[B]

All right, so wait a second. If Jules hadn't guessed anything, she would win with zero. That's funny.

[G]

Final Jeopardy, the topic is Christmas music for Latin lovers.

[B]

God, why did we make him do this?

[G]

The question is, what is Fancy B's favorite Christmas song?

[B]

No, she got it. Jules won. Why are you mad now? What is Felice Navidad?

[C]

She didn't know how to play this. Nothing. She gave.

[B]

All right, man.

[C]

It's fucking bullshit. Did you already know the Feliz Navidad? No. Yeah.

[B]

No, but it makes sense.

[C]

Yeah. It's bullshit.

[B]

It's not.

[C]

Yeah. God damn it, Dude.

[B]

What do you want for Christmas? Let's. Let's say I'm Santa. What do you want for Christmas this year?

[C]

Oh, boy.

[B]

What do you want for Christmas, Jules?

[D]

Hand mittens.

[B]

Like, hand mittens?

[D]

Yeah, like a cute one.

[B]

You want mittens?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It's 75 degrees today.

[D]

Yeah, but it's cute.

[B]

All right.

[C]

I want two new bits. Anyone can write it for me for my special. I just need two more bits.

[B]

I'll give you two more bits.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I got stuff for you that.

[C]

That's in my voice. You know, a lot of comics are like, I got a bet for sale. Right? It's like, I wouldn't say that.

[B]

You would say something like, okay, here we go.

[C]

What would you want for Christmas?

[B]

You know what I really want for Christmas? What I want to be? I want to spend just one more minute of time with my good buddy, the Big C, who's not around anymore. He's not on the show. He's back east, and I miss him.

[C]

Oh, the Big C. The Big C. You know what? Can I change my Christmas?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I wanna. You know what? I wanna exchange auras with him I like. And the only way you can exchange auras with somebody is to be with them constantly.

[B]

And we should be with him.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Who's Big C? Okay.

[B]

He replaced Fancy B just for one episode. Is this my Christmas wish coming true? Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[E]

That wasn't good enough.

[C]

Big C. Big C. Do you miss us?

[E]

Yes.

[C]

A lot. Yeah. We had some good times, huh?

[E]

Yeah, we had a lot of time. I'm happy to see you, Bobby.

[C]

Yeah. Maybe turn down a little bit.

[E]

Don't turn the camera around.

[C]

Who. Who do you like looking at better, me or Andrew?

[E]

Both of you.

[C]

But if you had to. If you had to choose.

[E]

If I had to choose?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

It's kind of difficult right now.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Because Andrew's holding the phone?

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Okay. Yeah.

[E]

Come on, Andrew. I like you.

[C]

But you prefer me, right?

[E]

Maybe.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

Don't feel bad. And you. I'm just. I'm just playing.

[B]

I don't care.

[C]

See how he treats you? Nope. What? Sometimes.

[G]

What?

[E]

What did you say exactly?

[C]

I mean, that's what you said, right? That's what you said, right?

[E]

I said what?

[C]

What? What?

[E]

What do you say?

[B]

Is this. Who's on first? What the are you guys doing?

[C]

I mean, I don't know if that's how you feel. No, what I'm saying is if that's how you feel, then that's what it is.

[E]

No, no, no, no.

[C]

Either. I. I know. Either. Either way. Either way, we're good.

[E]

Let's. Let's change a topic.

[C]

No, I don't want to. I want to finish this. Like, why'd you say what you said?

[E]

What did I say? Can you repeat what I said?

[C]

I mean, you're the one that said.

[E]

It, but I can't remember.

[C]

Okay, well, let's move on then. But I disagree. Okay. And that's up.

[E]

Merry Christmas, too.

[B]

Merry Christmas, dude.

[C]

Merry Christmas, dude.

[B]

What did you wish for? For Christmas.

[E]

Well, I already got it for myself.

[B]

Oh, wow. Very cool.

[C]

That's great.

[E]

You know, it makes me. Looks good. Look good, but everyone watching can look even better if they go to bad friends. Merch.com.

[C]

God, I love this guy.

[E]

Can I say a few. A few things?

[C]

Yeah, go ahead.

[E]

The episode that we did.

[C]

Yeah. Have you. Are people recognizing you from the episode?

[E]

A few.

[B]

Did.

[C]

Who? Like, from work.

[E]

From, like, past work places and blah, blah, blah. So I want. I wanted to say, because to grow, you have to, like.

[C]

I have no idea. You do.

[E]

To grow. To grow as a human.

[C]

Are you a gardener? What's going on here, dude?

[E]

No, no, no, no. To grow as a human, you have to like.

[G]

Cool.

[E]

I keep. Like, I. I can't.

[B]

Hey, brother, let's go ahead and write it down and then read it off.

[C]

Breathe. Calm down, dude.

[B]

Calm down.

[E]

I mean, I don't know if I should because you are not going to like it. Kind of.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

Throw it out there. When we talked about taking risks.

[B]

Take risks.

[E]

I mean, to grow as a human, you need to kind of like admit your. Your thoughts. And reading the comments of the episode that we did together, I see a few people saying, like, oh, I don't like, you know, his voice. And I have to say that, you know, my voice is not everyone's. Everybody's cup of tea. But to be honest, I never had boys flavored tea before, so I don't know how it tastes like.

[B]

No, I knew it was gonna be a joke. I knew he. I knew. I thought he was going to be sentimental.

[C]

Right, Right.

[B]

And I was about to be like, you know what? Yeah, don't read the comments because you're the. And that big C, you're the man. And then he did a joke.

[C]

I don't even get it. Can you explain it to me?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. He said from the beginning, now I know how you feel when I talk.

[C]

Yeah, it's frustrating.

[B]

He said, I. I know my voice isn't everyone's cup of tea.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I would know because I've never had voice flavored tea before. Oh, before. Sorry. Before is the land.

[E]

That's the kicker now because people are, you know, talking about it and, you know, it takes like a whole amen, you know, to admit your mistakes. That's something that Andrew doesn't do. So try to, you know, be better.

[C]

Yeah. Next time, like, Andrew needs to be more humble. Right. It's all ego, is it not? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

He's a cool guy. I'm just messing with him.

[H]

Okay.

[B]

You're never coming back.

[E]

Please.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Now, since we last saw you, have you been. Have you had some sexual relations with the woman?

[E]

This guy?

[D]

No.

[B]

He. This guy.

[C]

You said this guy.

[E]

You are my favorite. Sorry about that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

God, he can't even stand on his ground. I know, dude, he's like this guy. No, Bobby, you are my favorite.

[E]

Not to you. Bobby. Yeah, it was a slip off.

[C]

Thank you. I forgive you. I love you, bud.

[E]

Yeah, I love you too.

[B]

Yeah. He's your best friend. I got. I have a gift for you for Christmas.

[C]

Yeah?

[B]

Yeah, it should be. What time is it right now?

[E]

It is. It's 6, 9, 10.

[B]

Okay, so 10 o', clock, 10 o'? Clock. Yeah, 10 o'. Clock. 10 o' clock PM your time. There should be a gift coming to your door. You did, did?

[H]

You did.

[E]

You don't even know where I live. Good luck with that.

[B]

What do you mean? Carlos. Carlos gave me your address.

[H]

Yeah, I have it.

[C]

We have it.

[B]

Yeah, we do.

[H]

I knew.

[E]

For real?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

We had to book your flight.

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

Needed.

[C]

You got to go outside, though.

[E]

Oh, yes. I gave him my info.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

You got to go outside. Wait. From the house, you'll see a white van. Go inside it. You got to go inside the white van. What?

[E]

It's too cold. It's too cold to go outside.

[B]

Trust me. The ice agents will come inside your house.

[E]

Now we. We have the heater going, full volume.

[B]

Oh, you'll melt the ice agents.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

You know, we come from a tropical country.

[C]

They didn't want to go in the house.

[B]

We'll get them up. Big C, we miss you, buddy. We really do love having you around. We think next year you're going to come back on the. The show.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think the fans want you back.

[C]

They want you back.

[E]

I mean, 50% want me back.

[B]

Who gives a.

[C]

Who gives a.

[B]

We. We love you.

[C]

We love you.

[E]

I love you.

[B]

We hope you have a wonderful holiday. And I think you're the best, Big C. And we're going to get the boys to hopefully get you back out here first quarter next year. And. And we love you. And we want. You want to tell the audience, have a happy holidays and thank you for being a bad friend. Will you do that?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

How's your. How should I call the audience? The people watching.

[B]

You're calling. It's on you. It's on you, baby. You do it.

[E]

To everyone watching and the 50% that actually likes me, have a nice holiday. And.

[B]

And the phrase that we say at the end of every episode.

[E]

Thank you for being a bad friend. Or.

[C]

Yeah, that's it. That's it.

[B]

We love you, buddy. Bye, Big C. Say bye. Everyone say bye to Big. Bye. Gift time. Time for gifts. Thank you, McCone. Why do I have a pen? And I'll open the gifts.

[C]

Okay, hold on. Thank you, McCone. Mad Libs. Mad Libs. Happy Kwanzaa, Mad Libs. Very cool. Jokey gifts.

[B]

Mine is Hanukkah. Mad Libs.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I'm Jewish.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

Everybody knows.

[C]

Really funny. We're not even gonna air this.

[G]

It's holiday spirit.

[C]

No, no, it's.

[B]

This is very nice. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

[C]

It's not.

[H]

It's not.

[C]

It's not.

[B]

You don't like it.

[C]

It's for a laugh, right? We're never. I'm gonna leave it here in the studio.

[B]

What? I'm gonna take it home.

[C]

No, you're not. Thank you.

[D]

Thank you for being a bad friend. And Merry Christmas.