Rudy Shoots Her Shot with Marcello Hernandez

Summary

Bad Friends Podcast

Episode: Rudy Shoots Her Shot with Marcello Hernandez
Date: January 19, 2026
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Special Guest: Marcelo Hernandez (SNL)

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around the much-anticipated visit from Saturday Night Live cast member Marcelo Hernandez, whose quick wit and charm create dynamic interactions among the Bad Friends crew. The episode weaves in playful flirting from Rudy (“Rudy Shoots Her Shot”), lively discussions about comedy careers, body image and self-confidence, cultural identity, and plenty of friendly roasting. Classic Bad Friends themes of belonging, vulnerability, and camaraderie shape the episode’s comedic, yet genuine, tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Anxiety, Special Tapings, and Stand-Up Life

• Bobby Lee shares nerves about his upcoming comedy special taping.
  • “I don’t know if excited is the word. It’s like… a lot of anxiety.” (03:20)
• Santino reassures him:
  • “You’ve worked so hard on this… it’s going to break records.” (03:24)
• Conversation about intro music rights and public domain leads to jokes about walking on stage to “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” or “Amazing Grace”. (02:35–03:10)
• Both reminisce about their most peaceful moments, mostly involving oceanic serenity (06:11–08:28).

2. High-Tech Gadgets, Limbs, and Running Shoes

• The group discusses prosthetic advances, bionic hands, and Nike’s futuristic shoes:
  • “Mind controlled bionic arms… your brain does it.” (11:55)
  • “Nike has a shoe… it gives you more propulsion.” (12:00)
• Playful skepticism about wellness shoes and reflexology connections. (13:13–14:03)

3. Head Transplants & Immortality

• Pondering the future of medicine and ethics:
  • Would you want a new body with your brain?
  • "I've always wanted to be a little Black guy—Gary Coleman." – Bobby Lee (16:48)
• Marcelo and Santino joke about head transplants, donor bodies, and the complications of acquiring a body. (16:48–19:39)
• Philosophizes on whether a new body extends life, youthfulness, or happiness (19:25–19:51).

4. Comedy and Cultural Reflections

• Discussion of MLK Day, Bobby’s “I have a dreaming…” comedic bit, and the lighter side of civil rights icons playing pool. (20:03–20:40)
• Marcelo is asked about “Yoko” (Rudy’s crush possibly “breaking up” his career), leading to jokes about SNL’s strictness and relationships derailing careers. (31:01–31:24)
• The perennially silly but real question: “Can you sing? Can you dance?” (31:31–32:04)

5. Marcelo’s Career—From Intern to SNL

• Marcelo details his journey from making charcuterie boards for comics at Skank Fest to SNL and movie deals.
  • “I was an intern… making the goodie bags for the comedians…” (58:50–61:17)
  • Delivered a charcuterie board with a deli guy, “We built a… relationship. Then I walked in like a legend… I didn’t get the credit I deserved.” (59:21–61:06)
• Marcelo talks about his new Netflix film co-starring with Kevin Hart, and how he’s handled unexpected fame (34:14–35:20).
• Lively banter about unapproved Variety photoshoots, shirtless chain poses: “Something felt weird to me about smiling with my shirt off.” (36:04–36:12)

6. Personal Rituals & Gross-Outs

• The group debates proper sheet-washing frequency. (21:14–22:04)
• Hot tub in the rain appreciation, referencing Shawshank Redemption. (23:01–24:29)
• Would you crawl through a “poo pipe” for freedom? (23:35–25:00)

7. Bad Friends Flirting School

• Marcelo coaches Bobby and Santino through “shoot your shot” roleplays, critiquing and demonstrating both Bobby’s “slow open, fast close” method and his own directness.
  • “You slow open, fast close. Kids like you don’t understand that move.” – Bobby Lee (68:38–68:49)
  • [Skit example: 65:10–69:50]
• The bad friends riff about modern dating expectations (“They need to be 6’2”, make 3 million a year…”) vs. “real” traits that attract partners (70:35–71:14).

8. Cultural Foods & Identity

• Rudy gift-wrapped in nerves, asks Marcelo about pozole and cultural dog-eating references, sparking a short, awkward exchange:
  • “In my culture, it is okay to eat dogs, and I thought it would be nice to share culture.” – Rudy (51:18)
  • Marcelo gently responds, “I really do love Rudy. I’m a fan of yours… We don’t eat dogs in my culture.” (51:32)
• The show explores balut (developing duck embryo), pickled chiles, and cultural cuisines—eliciting comic disgust:
  • “It's not sauce, Marcelo. That’s guts.” – Bobby Lee (56:37)

9. Compliments to Latino Culture—A Sweet Circle

• The group shares what they appreciate about Latin culture, transitioning from jokes into earnest praise:
  • “Some of the most beautiful women I think I’ve ever seen in my life.” – Santino (74:11)
  • “I have a dream too—Richie Lamba… Richie Valens.” – Bobby Lee’s earnest, oddly Asian-accented tribute (73:35)
  • “My first crush was… a Puerto Rican chick… I didn’t know what this feeling was, but I liked that thing.” – Santino (74:13–74:37)
  • “My wife, it’s like, years in the future. It’s a dream… and she’s Latin.” – Richie (75:55)
  • Carlos points to the Mexican hairless dog as a cultural icon (77:29–77:42)

10. Authenticity, Insecurity, and Physical Appearance

• Banter on body image, losing weight, and the "Hollywood transformation arc" (39:05–40:17).
• Roast and support for Carlos’ hair loss and unique look, with the group suggesting he do a ‘Turkey hair transplant trip’ for content (78:25–79:43).
• “He has a great smile. He has a great face.” – Marcelo, with comic backhand, “From the forehead down.” (78:47–78:53)
• Recognizing confidence as the most attractive trait, even above looks (80:00–80:33).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Marcelo, on what women want:
  “When you think about it, right, what are women looking for? Someone that’s successful, someone that’s working a lot, someone that’s busy, and someone that’s taking care of themselves.” (70:27)

• Bobby on life transformation:
  “I’m a sinking ship. I’m the Titanic.” (70:12)
  “I always shoot my shot. …I’m not Robin Hood. Sometimes the arrows miss.” (65:02)

• Rudy, nervously flirting:
  “Well, because it’s Snoopy, but I don’t know if it’s in your culture to eat dogs, but in my culture, it is okay to eat dogs. And I thought that it would be nice to share culture.” (51:18)

• Marcelo, grateful and earnest:
  “You guys have such a special place in my heart… I truly believe [the podcast] saved my life [in the pandemic].” (40:41–42:01)

• On complimenting Latin culture:
  “I love their food. I love their language. I love their noses.” – Rudy (73:17–73:23)
  “Some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life.” – Santino (74:11)

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Key Timestamps

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:20 | Bobby's Anxiety over Taping Special | | 10:53 | Losing a Limb: Which Would You Sacrifice? | | 11:55 | Mind-Controlled Bionic Arms; Nike Tech | | 16:48 | “I want Gary Coleman’s body,” Head Transplants and Future Medicine | | 20:03 | MLK Day, Bobby’s “I Have A Dreaming” Bit | | 31:01 | Marcelo Arrives, Rudy’s Crush Addressed | | 36:04 | Shirtless Photo Shoot, SNL Fame | | 39:05 | Body Image and "Hollywood Arc" | | 58:50 | Marcelo’s Skank Fest Intern Story & Charcuterie Board Quest | | 65:10 | Bobby & Marcelo Flirting School Roleplay | | 73:17 | Group Compliments to Latino Culture | | 80:00 | Real Talk: Confidence and Attraction vs. Looks | | 83:12 | Marcelo’s Special “American Boy”—Plugs and Sign-Off |

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Episode Highlights & Takeaways

• Marcelo’s appearance creates a fun, flirty energy—especially with Rudy, who turns shy.
• Silly roleplays and theoreticals (“Would you crawl through a poo pipe for freedom?”) showcase classic Bad Friends zaniness.
• Beneath the roast and bravado, there’s real affection and gratitude—especially in Marcelo’s heartfelt pandemic story and the hosts’ supportive ribbing.
• The episode closes with a celebration of Marcelo’s achievements (“American Boy” special debut) and a reaffirmation of the core Bad Friends message: Stay weird, stay connected, and don’t take anything too seriously.

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For New Listeners:
You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, and you’ll catch a surprising amount of wisdom about life, fame, and friendship amid the nonsense. Most of all, you’ll see a tightly-knit gang genuinely rooting for each other’s happiness—even if that means roasting each other nonstop.

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Watch Marcelo Hernandez’s special “American Boy”—out now!

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

Mercy is coming to theaters this Friday. This is the Mercy Court.

[Andrew Santino]

Powered by Artificial Intelligence.

[Bobby Lee]

Detective Raven, you're charged with the murder of your wife. I'm not guilty. You have 90 minutes to prove it or you will be executed.

[Andrew Santino]

Experience an immersive thrill ride. Every camera and cell phones at your disposal in imax.

[Marcelo]

Can I see my daughter's Socials?

[Andrew Santino]

Hear that? Someone was in my basement. Chris Pratt. Maybe she found something she wasn't supposed to. Rebecca Ferguson, you must move from one piece of the puzzle to the next.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I have something here.

[Marcelo]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Mercy. Rated PG13. May be inappropriate for children under 13.

[Andrew Santino]

Only in theaters Friday. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[Bobby Lee]

White dude and an Asian dude.

[Marcelo]

You two are disgusting.

[Bobby Lee]

You two are something.

[Andrew Santino]

We're bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you doing here?

[Richie]

I'm back, baby.

[Andrew Santino]

Richie.

[Bobby Lee]

Richie, you're back. I mean, I see. I have eyeballs. I see you. You. I mean. But why are you back?

[Andrew Santino]

Covered front.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't even know if I like it.

[Fancy B]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Know what? We should get a. We should get an email to say who's coming.

[Andrew Santino]

We should.

[Bobby Lee]

Because when I walked in here, I kind of had, like, a little bit of a traumatic, you know, response.

[Andrew Santino]

It's triggering.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Richie]

I thought we had a positive relationship.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Because one time. Did we talk about when y' all was on stage and then you were on the.

[Richie]

Oh, no, we didn't.

[Bobby Lee]

But I'm in the main room. I.

[Andrew Santino]

You're in the main room and what happened?

[Bobby Lee]

And then I. I'm doing okay. I look to my right, there's Richie.

[Marcelo]

In the front row.

[Andrew Santino]

Why are you sitting in the front row?

[Richie]

Well, I. I. Well, I didn't mean to. I got tickets because my friend was in town and he's a huge comedy fan. So I was like, oh, cool, let's go to the store.

[Bobby Lee]

He wasn't laughing. He just had a permanent smile. This is what he was doing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Freaky.

[Bobby Lee]

Freaky, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Freaky.

[Bobby Lee]

Freaking me out, dude.

[Richie]

Well, I was nervous.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a freak.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you are.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a freak, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Did I. Yeah, I saw Mighty Supreme.

[Bobby Lee]

I heard it's good.

[Andrew Santino]

It's great.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like five movies in one.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you being positive or negative?

[Andrew Santino]

Positive. It's a lot of. It's a long. It's a lot of stories in one. We discussed this the other day. It's a lot. It's awesome, but it's, like, a lot film. You could have made people get annoyed by this. You could have made a Great. Limited run series, TV show out of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I see.

[Andrew Santino]

Because there's so many substories going on, like so many different stories that like, you know, you could have. This could have been stretched out.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you see it?

[Fancy B]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't believe you didn't see it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm really full of anxiety right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Cuz next week's the weekend.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

My special.

[Andrew Santino]

I know you're taping, you know, so.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I say something funny that happened a couple days ago? I call Abby, my manager, and she.

[Andrew Santino]

I go, does she have a phone?

[Bobby Lee]

No. I do a smoke thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby needs me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I. I go, well, what about intro music, right? How much does that cost? And this and that. And she goes, she goes. Why don't you just use a public domain song?

[Andrew Santino]

Like a. Just like a. From a. From a free library.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine this, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Bobby Lee, take me out to the ball game. Look up the Amazing Graces one.

[Andrew Santino]

Happy Birthday. That'd be such a funny song to come out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. I mean public domain.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean it would give you like a couple of minutes up top to joke about it if you did. Happy Birthday. Yeah, maybe if you're like, hey man, we can't afford it. Yeah, we can't afford how elaborate this is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you excited to shoot?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know if excited is the word. It's like anxiety. A lot of anxiety.

[Andrew Santino]

Really? You've worked so hard on this. I know, but the hour is going to be amazing. It's going to break records, but it's going to get nominated, it's going to break records, it's going to be the highest viewed special on Hulu in history.

[Bobby Lee]

Really bad jokes in it.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that doesn't mean it's not going to be watched. You know what I mean?

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Plenty of things that were bad were watched by a lot of people.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's true.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It happens all the time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay, so bad is good, right? That's good.

[Andrew Santino]

Michael Jackson bad. Good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So bad. It was he. I mean bad to name an album. Bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's good.

[Andrew Santino]

So it should be Bobby Lee bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Bad. Yeah.

[Fancy B]

Everyone's going.

[Bobby Lee]

The family, the family's going. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sorry I can't be there.

[Bobby Lee]

It's okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I saw her in Hawaii swimming in the ocean. Yeah, Yeah, I saw bro. Shaka. Ocean girl. Ocean girly. You're swimming for like three days straight. Huh? That's got to be so freeing. How nice she gets to do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No responsibility.

[Bobby Lee]

No responsibility.

[Andrew Santino]

Just swim in the ocean.

[Bobby Lee]

Three days, you mean? Hey, everybody, I use ab. Look how silky my hair is. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Shout out to colorless company Ebb.

[Bobby Lee]

Doing karma.

[Andrew Santino]

The commercials are great.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're acting. I see her acting in it now.

[Bobby Lee]

Are there any times where she's making you do it and you don't want to do it?

[Fancy B]

Sometimes.

[Bobby Lee]

And she convinces you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How long when you go out to the ocean and you guys go for a dive day or whatever, how long are you in the water? In the water for?

[Fancy B]

I think max is like 4 or 5.

[Andrew Santino]

5 hours. A long time.

[Bobby Lee]

A long time being in the water. But they can just live out there.

[Andrew Santino]

They're from down there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know. No, but they love the water.

[Andrew Santino]

You were born underwater, weren't you? Your mom had you underwater.

[Fancy B]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Connecting with the greatest moment of my life.

[Andrew Santino]

I better be included.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not there. You're absolutely not there. You're not there.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like one of the most peaceful moments of my life.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I wasn't there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. When you're around, I get throat, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, Yeah. I get sore.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, me too.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You get through, right? I know, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Me too. My whole body hurts.

[Bobby Lee]

When I said when you were on me.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, me too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So we all went to the Philippines and. What?

[Andrew Santino]

Nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

And you know how they have like millions of. Not million, but thousands of little islands. Yeah. Around. You can take a little boat, you know, I mean, to like a super small island.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, beautiful day.

[Andrew Santino]

And what's on those little tiny islands?

[Bobby Lee]

One tree sometimes.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Like one or two trees.

[Marcelo]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So we went on this island and I was. It's so blue. The water.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was floating on my back in the water, Right. Where it's like, you know me. You kind of.

[Andrew Santino]

You can hear the ocean bobbing in and out of your.

[Bobby Lee]

But they can also hear the people. So they were like playing games on the. On the beach.

[Andrew Santino]

That's where you were.

[Bobby Lee]

So you could hear, you know, man, them just. You just hear laughter and joy, but you're also hearing the sea. Right. And I closed my eyes and it was the ultimate peace I've ever felt. And joy.

[Andrew Santino]

It was nirvana. You resented.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But you know, when. So funny. But when I was at that treatment center for trauma. Right. You know, we did this thing where it's like, if you do this Right. And you think about your. That one. That was my experience. Think of an experience where you're truly peaceful. And I got hypnotized. And if I do this, apparently it takes me back. But it never works. Yeah, it never works. It never does.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'm there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But it's like. Yeah, exactly. What's your most peaceful moment?

[Andrew Santino]

I think I talked about on the show.

[Bobby Lee]

It was, had we done Bad Friends yet?

[Andrew Santino]

I think it was just in the beginning.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

And then I. No, right before. It was actually right before. That have been six years ago.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

And I hung out with these people. I had a great day. And then I met up with Dermer and got some phenomenal seafood. And then we went to Alkai Beach. Beach and rented longboards, you know, paddle boards. And I went out on the board, and I was just laying out there in the ocean. It's a similar. Oddly similar story. And I was just laying on it, just kind of letting the slow, slow wake take me. And I was like, I could die right now. Alkai Beach. It was one of those moments that I just. I don't know why. It was perfect. It was just beautiful and perfect out on the water. Something about it. It was weird. It was like everything aligned. And then the show that night was awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It was at that club in Seattle.

[Bobby Lee]

Parlor Live.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Parlor.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I love that club where you had.

[Andrew Santino]

To go through the bar.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the. That was the club where that native guy didn't let me in. Remember? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the same club.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, they closed down.

[Bobby Lee]

I know they did.

[Andrew Santino]

That's because of you. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. You got that native. It's a big deal.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's your most peaceful.

[Andrew Santino]

That was just a moment that, like, you reminded me of. When I. I've talked about that before, it just made me feel like, amen. Everything is okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And it was for a little bit. What's your most peaceful moment?

[Bobby Lee]

We can't include water because we already did that.

[Andrew Santino]

It usually does.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. You're right. You can include water.

[Fancy B]

I think the first time I've free dived with Atikalai, and I was able to go really deep, and I just stayed there for, like, a long time.

[Andrew Santino]

How long can you hold your breath for?

[Fancy B]

Not that long. Maybe just like a minute and like a half or something.

[Andrew Santino]

So you stay down there for about a minute.

[Bobby Lee]

You're peaceful for 45 seconds.

[Fancy B]

Yeah. It was so nice.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, and did you come back up and you Felt like I want to keep going down as far as I can. Yeah. The free dive thing scares me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Two, two. No, no, no. I belong up top.

[Bobby Lee]

Also, the swimming of the sharks when we used to do that, that was so fun.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't need to swim with those guys.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not doing that anymore.

[Andrew Santino]

It just doesn't make sense.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Fancy B]

I'm gonna swim with that really big great white shark.

[Andrew Santino]

Aren't they all big?

[Fancy B]

No, like the. This one is like the, like one.

[Bobby Lee]

That one lady does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's her name? I saw that documentary. That lady that swims with the great white sharks.

[Fancy B]

Yeah, that one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that for? What do you get out of that besides almost kill a relationship?

[Bobby Lee]

You can develop a relationship.

[Andrew Santino]

This isn't the octopus teacher.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Look at that. Would you do that?

[Andrew Santino]

Would I do that? I mean, in what world would I want it. Look at how fat that guy is. Get him on a GLP1.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Fancy B]

He hasn't died, so it means the shark's fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He's eating everything in sight.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He'll live forever.

[Bobby Lee]

She's got a bag of in and out burgers.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that what that.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't see it, but yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Double drop.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, he. That is a fat shark, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

That we. That.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he's a little choed.

[Bobby Lee]

He's so scary.

[Fancy B]

So cool.

[Andrew Santino]

He's so fat. He can't turn around, though. He can't get you if you're behind him.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, no. Absolutely not. What's cool about that? Yeah, I think, don't. They. They kill humans.

[Fancy B]

I don't mind.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't mind being killed?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I mean, they'll tear off an arm.

[Andrew Santino]

What a bummer.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a bummer. That's a bummer. Yeah. Huge bummer to lose. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

[Andrew Santino]

If you're going to lose a limb, which one are you going to lose?

[Bobby Lee]

My left leg. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Left leg is good.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's pretty useless. I guess. I understand that. Ocean Ramsey.

[Bobby Lee]

And because you can hide prosthetics legs with the new high tech. You know what I mean? Great tech prosthetics, Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So you could wear jeans. Put a prosthetic on. You could still kind of, you know what I mean, Walk around. Right. But with an arm, I think it's harder to hide.

[Andrew Santino]

It's impossible.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Although the hands now are looking pretty realistic.

[Andrew Santino]

They're getting better.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But you can't go like this or, you know, I mean, or shaka or.

[Andrew Santino]

Anything you can't do. You can't do.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, shaka.

[Andrew Santino]

No shaka.

[Bobby Lee]

Or unless you can go. You can do shock if you bend it. Push it down, push it down.

[Andrew Santino]

Like it's kingpin with that fake hand.

[Bobby Lee]

Like. Let me see.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they're getting really good.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa, dude, that's me. Look at how.

[Producer/Assistant]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

It's getting good. It's getting good. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The amount of these that are going to get stuck up someone's ass though. Yeah, the rubber one. See, that's why you need metal so there's not tempted.

[Bobby Lee]

So what kind of one you lose in hand just to get that.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Look at how cool that looks.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean you can. How. It's mind controlled bionic arms. So your brain is.

[Bobby Lee]

Your brain does it. And now Nike has that one shoe where it has attach your ankle and it helps you.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Right, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Nike has a shoe that like is.

[Bobby Lee]

That you can now get where it's like. I think it helps you walk. It gives you more propulsion. I don't know what the word is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, propulsion's got to be right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, that.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. So it straps onto your ankles.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Your ankle onto the shoe.

[Andrew Santino]

And it makes you go faster.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know if it makes you go fast.

[Producer/Assistant]

It can.

[Bobby Lee]

It can. I think. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, let's get those. How much are those?

[Bobby Lee]

You're gonna get it, right?

[Andrew Santino]

I might.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

How much are those? It looks awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean that's incredible.

[Producer/Assistant]

Or even planning on coming out yet.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Hey, Nike.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Send these to us.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, those are cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Let us be the first. Let us be the test rabbits for the imagine. They have like world champion runners doing them and then they send them to us.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Producer/Assistant]

These are supposed to calm your mind down. They come out this week. When you step on it, it hits those balls and it sends something to your brain that relaxes you. They're called the Nike mind twos.

[Andrew Santino]

I want those.

[Bobby Lee]

I want those two dudes.

[Producer/Assistant]

They're doing it.

[Andrew Santino]

How do they keep doing it?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

They got to be stealing from Japanese people.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no. Yeah, no, that's definitely fucking stolen from Japanese. What's it called? Would they put the needles.

[Andrew Santino]

Acupuncture.

[Bobby Lee]

Acupuncture, like all the nerves and you know.

[Andrew Santino]

Stealing from the Japanese.

[Bobby Lee]

They're just stealing it from it. Yeah, dude, that. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I really want.

[Bobby Lee]

But you think it's psychological?

[Andrew Santino]

Of course.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's placebo. But it also but also they've shown that, like, as the shoe has advanced, it does do really good things for your. Like, when you're running long distances, like, a really good running shoe does things well for your brain because there's so much in your feet. Yeah, there's so much in your feet. It's got. Have you ever seen, like, the reflexology stuff about, like, when they find these trigger points in your feet and all it. Like one. One thing is release of stress at certain places and something. It's all connected.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, this works when you do this for headaches and stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

Crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why does that work?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know why that works.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want to know. That freaks me out.

[Bobby Lee]

It freaks me out.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, we found out where the motherboard is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe those shoes. We got to get those. Get. Get those for us.

[Andrew Santino]

Please get those for us.

[Bobby Lee]

What is. What else is. Other high tech shoes that are coming out.

[Andrew Santino]

We got to get more shoes.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah, Nikes that were Bluetooth Nikes.

[Andrew Santino]

They speakers.

[Producer/Assistant]

No, they. They just tied, like, from an app. Like, I would put them on and they would get tight when I would press tie my shoe.

[Andrew Santino]

That's cool.

[Bobby Lee]

That's kind of cool.

[Andrew Santino]

That's like auto laces from Back to the Future.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah, I had that.

[Andrew Santino]

You had those shoes?

[Producer/Assistant]

No, I had like, the modern version.

[Bobby Lee]

Years ago or what. A tennis shoe that turns in skates.

[Andrew Santino]

Sick. No, but there's like ice skates or roller skates.

[Bobby Lee]

Roller skates, but they're getting better now, I think.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Those. The mags. The Nike mags. Those are the ones from Back to the Future.

[Bobby Lee]

What do those do?

[Andrew Santino]

Self lacing. Remember? From Back to the Future.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I really wanted? Those were sick. But I also wanted the drying jacket drying mode.

[Bobby Lee]

That was so cool.

[Andrew Santino]

And it came out. Yeah, you come out of the rain, like.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it dried and how far away from hoverboard?

[Andrew Santino]

What the are they waiting for?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcelo]

What do we.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's get that going.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Well, how are we.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. How are we not doing hoverboard?

[Andrew Santino]

They invented that 30 years ago in film. We can't get it done. Yeah, no, that's not.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not the hoverboard dude.

[Producer/Assistant]

Clicked on shopping.

[Andrew Santino]

They're. They got to be close to getting there.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, if you make the ground like magnet, then you can do it. Then you can do it. But think about magnetize.

[Andrew Santino]

How do you slow down or stop?

[Bobby Lee]

All right, you're. You're. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, like, they're creating the train that goes from LA to Vegas. Doesn't it use magnets? Isn't it magnet propulsion?

[Bobby Lee]

Let me ask you something, okay. Would you rather you mean us focus our energy on either high tech stuff just for like everyday household goods or only high tech stuff for your health?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's such a good question.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Because I think the health is probably more beneficial. But my God, would it be better around the house?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Like I'm talking about hoverboards, you know, I mean all that kind of stuff, you know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

But it's like, yeah, health, let's do that. We're all gonna die.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but health, you. You could extend your life for 20 more years. Why exactly?

[Andrew Santino]

Because if you're 100, you're going to feel like shit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No way. Because they can't make your bones get younger.

[Fancy B]

Yeah, what if they can?

[Andrew Santino]

No, they can't.

[Fancy B]

You like improve your body and just get you abs and like, I think.

[Andrew Santino]

One day they're going to give us an ability to take your brain and get a new body.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, they're doing. Already doing head transplants.

[Andrew Santino]

Richie's interested.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This guy loves heads. Yeah, Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I think they're experimenting with it, but it's like, would you. Okay. If you're.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Successful lasting head transplant with animal experiments showing limited survival days to weeks and partial function. But I'm telling you, dude, they're coming.

[Bobby Lee]

They'Re coming, they're gonna get there.

[Andrew Santino]

Whose body do you want?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, so what? No, no. Okay, here's a go. That's a good question.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Now listen, I'm thinking I'm more if they preserved it, I'm more Gary Coleman. I've always wanted to be a little black guy. What do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That is such a good lineup.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Your Asian head on a little black body.

[Bobby Lee]

Black body. We. So I'd sitcom right away.

[Andrew Santino]

Right away.

[Bobby Lee]

Right, Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean the work. You.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, everybody. Mr. Cooper, stop. You mean that'd be cool. What, what body would you want?

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. World's first volunteer of head transplant fails to accept a surgery for a lack of funds from Russia. So this guy was down to do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so he could get a able body is what, What, What? Because he is. Yeah, yeah. He's. He's. He wants a new body because he's, he's fully paraplegic. Paraplegic. Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. So he wants a mobile body. But even if you did give it to him, he wouldn't know what to do with it.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

He's never had one. You know, what is he. He'll be. I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you could go dancing with Richie. Him and Richie are both doing the same.

[Andrew Santino]

Blood vessels are being linked with tubes so that. So they're trying to do it. Yeah, but this is old. They've. They've been tried. This was over a decade ago. They tried with this Russian, but.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but now I think they're. It's. It's about to happen.

[Andrew Santino]

I think we're gonna do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, try.

[Andrew Santino]

Are we really gonna do. I mean, by the way, Russia shout out. They would try it first. Yeah, yeah, we will try it.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't give a. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How it's supposed to work? Theoretically, cooling both donor and recipient heads and bodies are cooled to slow cell death. Connection key blood vessels, the jugulars and the carotas are connected to first maintain blood flow to the brain, potentially using a special plasma, spinal cord fusion. Because we do those, don't we do fusion? Spinal cord fusion. Now, for people that get in like tragic car accidents and stuff, other connections and nerves and trachea, esophagus are reconnected, but you're kept in a coma for weeks to allow the healing for the body and then they hope you can come out of it.

[Bobby Lee]

But where do you get the body, though? Does somebody volunteer, like, you can have my body. I'm gonna die.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sure it's someone that just died, but from.

[Bobby Lee]

Died from what though? That would depend, you know, I mean, like, I don't want his body.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. If you go. If you get into a car accident, right? That's how they use all your organ parts. If you're still young and good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but the body's damaged. If you're in a car accident, if you died from impact from a car accident, the body's no good. That's my point. Where do you get the body?

[Andrew Santino]

Gunshot to the head.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. That's the only scenario.

[Andrew Santino]

Gunshot to the head. Keep the body on ice. Would you donate your head to science, Jules?

[Fancy B]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you donate all your organs? All of them? Yeah, Everything.

[Fancy B]

I don't mind.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't care?

[Fancy B]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Good. Good for you.

[Bobby Lee]

Last thing about the head transplant, though. Doesn't your brain old? Like if you get a 22 year old guy's body, but your brain's still old.

[Andrew Santino]

But imagine using that body with the knowledge that you have.

[Bobby Lee]

Would that extend your life, you think?

[Andrew Santino]

Sure, of course, a little bit. Because isn't. Isn't Part of your. Isn't part of your physical existence, your mental health and happiness. So you would be happier because you're like, wow, I've got this young body. I. I feel less pain.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

First human head transplant, two years away. Says a surgeon.

[Bobby Lee]

See, that's.

[Andrew Santino]

That was a decade ago. Oh, no update. Well, on this note. You know what day it is today?

[Bobby Lee]

Happy birthday. Is it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's Martin Luther King Day.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it today?

[Andrew Santino]

It's today.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you have a dream? Have you ever had a dream?

[Bobby Lee]

I have a dreaming. You know, I used to have a bit like that.

[Andrew Santino]

The Martin Luther King. Asian Martin Luther King.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

I have a dreaming. The white people will do their own laundry. That kind of bit.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a great bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at him. Playing pool. Mlk. Running the fucking table, dude. I have a dream. Eight ball, side pocket. That album was really good.

[Bobby Lee]

He got air pon in his ear.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Oh, you're laughing, Richie.

[Producer/Assistant]

I love it.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I want to bottle that up. Put in a genie bottle.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

300 years. 300 years, somebody finds it open.

[Andrew Santino]

I imagine he collects laughs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You do. You have a can of laughs at.

[Richie]

Home in little jars right next to the heads.

[Andrew Santino]

Gross. I just get scared for these women that go over there and see all these heads.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Producer/Assistant]

Cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When's the last time you had a girl over?

[Richie]

Like, not that long ago. Two weeks ago.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Richie]

Actually, not two weeks ago because that was.

[Bobby Lee]

How many times you wash your sheets? Be honest.

[Andrew Santino]

He's like, sheets. We have to have sheets.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Richie]

I try my best. Anytime somebody comes over, it's an instant wash. But, like, me, personally, just me. Like a week or two.

[Fancy B]

That's good.

[Andrew Santino]

A week or two.

[Bobby Lee]

A week or two.

[Andrew Santino]

And then what?

[Richie]

Usually, too. If it's just me.

[Bobby Lee]

What were you. When did you change sheets?

[Andrew Santino]

Change my sheets? If there's a lot of bone in. Going on.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, if we're getting them sloppy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Every, like, five days.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

But if there's not bone in a week and a day or so, it's almost like eight. Eight or nine days.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But if we're hooking up, a lot of. It's a fun month.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Then you got to flip them like, every. Because then they just get nasty.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But, like. Yeah, I'd say five days. Five to eight, depending on the level of bone. Bone juice. What about you?

[Fancy B]

Every day.

[Andrew Santino]

You change them every day?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I did until her mom left.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't do it? You had someone else change them every day? Her mom. Your mom would change your sheets every day?

[Fancy B]

Every night?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, she would wash them every day.

[Bobby Lee]

I have like so many sheets.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. But she would just cycle through and wash them all the time. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a king. Feed me grapes.

[Andrew Santino]

You're allergic to grapes?

[Bobby Lee]

Not every day, but she would do it once every four days.

[Andrew Santino]

I think that's pretty standard.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's. I mean, for. For a guy like you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Who lives in the lifestyle that you live.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I cannot sleep. I've tried without taking a shower.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, at night?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Tim Dillon was like, yeah, man. Just sleep without taking a shower. I do it all the time.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's nice to get into bed clean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I tried it and at four in the morning I was like, I gotta take a shower. Right. Is that. I mean, how do people sleep without taking a shower?

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you what I've been doing though.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So I've had to shower again at night. Even if I just showered. I've been going in the hot tub because the hot tub in the rain. My God. Hot tub in the rain.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the best.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the best in thing in the world.

[Marcelo]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Hot tub in the rain to me is. It's just something about it. You're like. I feel. I feel like Andy Dufresne when he swam to the pipes of poop. You come out clean on the other.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know what. Hot tub in the rain.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It just, it's. It's life changing.

[Bobby Lee]

They would have found me in that tube like 20 years later. I would have never made it out of there.

[Andrew Santino]

He made it like 15ft.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They would just see my, you know, a Korean skeleton in there. How long would you last in that poo? There's no way.

[Andrew Santino]

I could never do it.

[Bobby Lee]

I could never do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, no. If your life is on the line, if you need. If you knew that was freedom and it was. How many football. Football fields?

[Producer/Assistant]

Four.

[Andrew Santino]

Four football fields.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Four football fields are crawling through pool. Gosh. Would you be able to do it?

[Andrew Santino]

I think you at some point would just check out mentally and just be like. It would just be muscle reflex. Just like, go, go, go, go. You would just get used to it and you'd run out of throw up at some point.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God.

[Andrew Santino]

You'd have nothing left.

[Bobby Lee]

You would get some in your mouth. You know what I mean? I know. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You would do it for Freedom.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

For freedom.

[Bobby Lee]

And then what happens if you got out and there was no rain? He was lucky. He found a rainy day. There's no rain.

[Marcelo]

You're just like.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that guy covered in. Running through the streets. Poo, man.

[Bobby Lee]

That's Andy Dufresne. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Andy, why are you covered in poo? Yeah, he's lucky there was rain.

[Bobby Lee]

He was. That was a lucky day for him.

[Andrew Santino]

Stephen King.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And you know what's so funny? That's a great pairing because he wrote it because the. The thunder strikes are. When he decided to hit the rock on the pipe. He waited till it rained. That was a part of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's right.

[Andrew Santino]

The thunder had to rain at night.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So he did plan it. You're right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. But still, you're. You're right, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because what if it just thunder and rain was dissipating?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It could have dissipated.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, he thought it was pouring down. When he goes out there, it's just spitting a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How long would it take to get the poop off?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, there's no way.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, he washed himself in the water. That was poop water.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So he didn't really get clean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It was still poop water.

[Bobby Lee]

Also, it's the 1950s, right? Yeah. He would never be able to do it in today.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, they don't have a.

[Bobby Lee]

As soon as he got up, there's a. Cameras everywhere, you know, tiktokers videos of him. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He'd be twitch streamers being like, come out here with the poo, man.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Make healthier eating easy with factor.

[Andrew Santino]

I saw your buddy Colin Jost this morning.

[Marcelo]

You played golf with him.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Yeah. You play golf.

[Andrew Santino]

We talked about you.

[Marcelo]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

What'd you say?

[Andrew Santino]

That we both really love you.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

And then I asked him. Who.

[Marcelo]

Who?

[Andrew Santino]

You want headphones?

[Marcelo]

I don't know. I'm wondering. No, no, I don't need it. I don't need it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Whoa. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That is what he said. Since you do not listen.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't. I don't think you listen.

[Marcelo]

I was.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I think you drift.

[Marcelo]

I was so hungry. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

But you see yourself in me.

[Bobby Lee]

I do.

[Marcelo]

So it's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I don't listen.

[Marcelo]

There's nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I never listen.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

There's nothing in this.

[Bobby Lee]

In there. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got nothing in the can.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Ry.

[Bobby Lee]

No socks, huh?

[Marcelo]

Hey. No socks today.

[Andrew Santino]

Sockless.

[Marcelo]

Huh? You like them?

[Fancy B]

So cute.

[Marcelo]

Thank you, girl.

[Andrew Santino]

Those are. They're very Middle Eastern of you. Oh, wow. Thank you. I like that.

[Marcelo]

A little bit. Hispanic, if you will.

[Andrew Santino]

Are those Hispanic shoes?

[Marcelo]

Yes, maybe.

[Bobby Lee]

Anybody?

[Andrew Santino]

Did your puppy have those?

[Marcelo]

Everything I wear is Hispanic.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, you probably don't sleep well. Do you sleep well?

[Marcelo]

I either sleep a lot or no.

[Bobby Lee]

It just depends.

[Andrew Santino]

What was it last night?

[Marcelo]

Last night it was. I did good last night. But the. The night before that, I woke up scared, man. You ever wake up scared?

[Andrew Santino]

Why are you scared?

[Marcelo]

I woke up scared because I drank. I drank and then I woke up scared. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

My left leg. My left leg starts to go numb, but it's in my head.

[Andrew Santino]

It's all in your head?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Where do you stay when you come to la?

[Marcelo]

I stay at the. Well, no, I stay. Right. I stay by the store. Close to the stor.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Because I want to go by. They want to do stand.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Fancy, huh? Rudy, say hi to work.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I did.

[Fancy B]

Hi.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, she's got a massive crush on you, dude. It's unbelievable. She can't stop talking about it. It's been a continuous thing on the show.

[Marcelo]

Oh, come on.

[Andrew Santino]

When will you have Marcelo on? Because I want to say to him. Yeah, that's what she said, you know what?

[Bobby Lee]

You're Yoko.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

You're Yoko. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were in a band, she would break it up.

[Marcelo]

Can't sing, maybe. She's Yoko.

[Andrew Santino]

She would break it right up. She. If you started dating her, she'd kick. You kicked off SNL so fast.

[Marcelo]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcelo]

You're toxic, Rudy.

[Fancy B]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you tone deaf?

[Marcelo]

Me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Can you sing?

[Marcelo]

Can I sing?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Marcelo]

I can do deep voice.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but can you.

[Fancy B]

You seem like you're tone deaf.

[Bobby Lee]

That's very good.

[Andrew Santino]

It sounds like a foreign guy trying to do that song in English.

[Bobby Lee]

Y. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wise man will say Only will a fool will he be the rushing.

[Marcelo]

Because I.

[Bobby Lee]

You can dance too, huh? That I do, Daddy can.

[Marcelo]

That I can do.

[Andrew Santino]

But we've seen that you've showcased your ability of dance. What's the thing that we haven't seen you do on TV that you're, like, waiting. That's something in your back pocket.

[Marcelo]

I got to do a soccer thing. I'm good. I'm really good. Do you have anything? That's a circle here.

[Andrew Santino]

These guys will kick anything.

[Marcelo]

I can juggle that. That baseball. I can do stuff with it.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you really? Probably stand up and do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I thought that was going to work.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Your foot. Feet. You're not wearing socks. Whoa, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, bro. You are good, dude. Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

That is incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

That's incredible, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. Oh, shoeless.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, shoeless.

[Andrew Santino]

Shoeless.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, sit down, sit down.

[Andrew Santino]

Here he goes. Here he goes. Up.

[Marcelo]

Think fast.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, come on.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you with that?

[Marcelo]

How about that? Come on. Can your fancy be do that?

[Andrew Santino]

We want you to replace our fancy be so bad, dude.

[Marcelo]

God, man.

[Andrew Santino]

You would be the one that guy.

[Marcelo]

Fancy B. You guys, really. What does the B stand for?

[Andrew Santino]

You tell us. Come on.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you guys love to eat?

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You love it.

[Andrew Santino]

What is your favorite?

[Marcelo]

Look at me, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

You like it?

[Marcelo]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Beans?

[Marcelo]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. I like it too.

[Marcelo]

So nice and be.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a fancy bee.

[Andrew Santino]

What's your favorite meal that your mom made you?

[Marcelo]

My mom never cooked a lot. My mom was always traveling for work.

[Andrew Santino]

What about your grandma?

[Marcelo]

Does that make you feel? My grandma, she didn't cook either.

[Producer/Assistant]

My mom was.

[Marcelo]

My grandmother was a cashier at a cvs.

[Andrew Santino]

Seriously?

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Marcelo]

We didn't have a lot of like.

[Andrew Santino]

So no. No home cooked meals for you as a kid?

[Marcelo]

Not really. My mom can make a great.

[Bobby Lee]

Bam, bam, bam.

[Andrew Santino]

That's good. Dude, you.

[Marcelo]

You really live in this dangerous line, huh?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't have a choice.

[Marcelo]

You'll do anything.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I'm not on snl, dude. I can do whatever I want. I'm free living the thing that got Shane cancelled. I do every week on this show.

[Marcelo]

Every single week. Think about that too.

[Andrew Santino]

It's incredible. That's the freedom of this platform. We're allowed to do it. But you got to stay a little good little boy. You got to be a good little boy. Cuz you're going to be a movie star, aren't you?

[Marcelo]

I have a job to do.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you going to be a movie star?

[Marcelo]

I hope so.

[Andrew Santino]

You're going to be a movie star.

[Bobby Lee]

We've got a movie. Netflix.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You and who? Kevin Hart co star.

[Marcelo]

Kevin Hart, yes, that one. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He's done movies with Kevin Hart.

[Bobby Lee]

So have you.

[Andrew Santino]

I have, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes I have.

[Marcelo]

I just saw you in a movie.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you didn't.

[Marcelo]

Yes, I did. Last night.

[Bobby Lee]

What movie was it?

[Marcelo]

Now you see me, now you don't.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And how was I?

[Marcelo]

It was funny, dude. You were fun.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a fun. It was a fun little part.

[Marcelo]

A lot of facial hair in that one.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I grew it out.

[Marcelo]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. No. All yours. No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I did.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I did the bush. I did the front bush. We shot that in Budapest. Where.

[Marcelo]

What's this movie you got coming out with Kevin hart? It's called 72 hours. It's like a bachelor party thing. Oh yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

72 hours. Like I thought it was going to be like an extension of the Nick Nolte 48 Hours. I thought that was going to be another. What is this? Kevin Hart Wild. 72 hours. A new comedy. Who wrote it? Not you.

[Marcelo]

No, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's that handsome guy?

[Marcelo]

Look at that.

[Andrew Santino]

Who is that guy?

[Marcelo]

That's Mason Gooding.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm talking about you, sweetheart. Oh, that's another Guy on the left. What are you talking? Look at how good looking he looks right there. Bob. Dude, zoom in on Marcelo. Wow. Kids built. He's built for the picture.

[Marcelo]

Come on.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like Pepsi Cola now.

[Andrew Santino]

What's up?

[Bobby Lee]

He's like Pepsi Cola.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, you think his name is Pepsi?

[Marcelo]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

What I'm saying is, is that you're, like, out there.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean? How's it feel?

[Marcelo]

It's crazy. It feels weird. This is like, I've only done, like, four podcasts in my whole life.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And today I did the third one of my life. And today I did the fourth one. I did, like, one or two. Like before when I first.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Marcelo]

Started doing videos online.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Which was like 2020.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

So this is like the first podcast.

[Andrew Santino]

This is the only one that matters. This is the real one.

[Marcelo]

This is the one.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at you on variety with your shirt off.

[Marcelo]

I know. They made me do that.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't want to take your shirt.

[Marcelo]

I didn't want to do the chains. I didn't want to. The shirt. But you know what to say.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Just don't know what to say.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So. So there. Someone came by and was like, marcel, we'd like it if you had your shirt off. And we want to put. Put these costume chains on you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And they go, we have this idea. And then. And then I go. They go, smile. And then something felt weird to me about smiling with my shirt off.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

So I was like, I can't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you do that face? I want to try face.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at.

[Marcelo]

Look it.

[Andrew Santino]

I like. That's interesting that they go, take your shirt off. Put on these chains. And that was the idea. Somebody did not do their work before.

[Marcelo]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

They showed up that day and they were like, we have nothing to.

[Marcelo]

And you don't get to approve pictures. Wait, you just find out.

[Andrew Santino]

Your team never said yes or no to this?

[Marcelo]

No, you just find out.

[Andrew Santino]

You got to get a new agent. They should send you this before they approve it.

[Marcelo]

This was years ago.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think people can get. It's hard to get approval.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's. Dude, when they.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, Julia Roberts probably can.

[Marcelo]

Exactly. You get to a point where you can.

[Andrew Santino]

He's the male Julia Robbins.

[Marcelo]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

I understand.

[Andrew Santino]

That's America.

[Bobby Lee]

He's going to get there. I don't know if he's there now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, he is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay. Get approval then.

[Marcelo]

But this was years ago.

[Andrew Santino]

This is America's new sweetheart.

[Producer/Assistant]

Hi.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You are the representation of America's best Ideos mio, dude.

[Marcelo]

You guys, you guys, that was the worst one. That one right there in the white.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see that one.

[Marcelo]

That's the worst picture I think I've ever taken.

[Andrew Santino]

My God, Tony, what am I doing with my neck?

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean? Yeah. What are you doing?

[Marcelo]

I don't know. You don't get a warlord. I could have been stretching. I could have been stretching there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Selling weapons overseas.

[Marcelo]

It's like, what? God, you just.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but you know what? You still look good.

[Marcelo]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

The kids still look good. Are you happy on a little break right now, right?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, a little break. But this has been. I've been busy, dude. I've been doing a bunch of podcasts. I've been. I'm. I'm doing a. A screening for my Spinning for your special Tomorrow Special comes out January 7th.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, one day after our favorite holiday. Yeah, one day.

[Marcelo]

What's your favorite?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Come on, come on.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, we were there.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, we were there twice. We gotta go back.

[Bobby Lee]

I had a brick.

[Andrew Santino]

Just you with a photo of you with your shirt off. A change.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

If AI was around back then, how many comedians would have promoted their. Their week of shows?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, So many flyers. So many flyers.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that would have been great.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me ask you something, and you. You don't have to answer this.

[Marcelo]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Does Lauren know about this show? Like, will Lauren see you on this show?

[Marcelo]

Maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, if something bad happens, Rudy, stop hitting on me.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you get intimidated by him?

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Marcelo]

But he's. I've gone to baseball games with him. He's a cool guy. He's also just like such like a. He's like, we all have, like a grandparent or somebody that's like, you know, the elder of the.

[Andrew Santino]

You call him a grandparent.

[Marcelo]

The elder of the family.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And it's different when the elder of the family is, like, working at, like a crazy high level.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

Like, it's different when they're retired. It's a different energy. He's. He's on.

[Andrew Santino]

He's on.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, right, right, right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, he's doing the thing.

[Marcelo]

Yes, he's still very much doing.

[Andrew Santino]

He's still your dad.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

You still your papa.

[Bobby Lee]

But if he's like, come here, let's go over here. You have to go with him, right?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, yeah, I go to baseball game.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you go to a baseball. You like. You guys, you guys love baseball.

[Marcelo]

My people. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, we love baseball. And it's been very, very good to.

[Marcelo]

You how you See your face.

[Andrew Santino]

How you see?

[Marcelo]

How you see your face?

[Andrew Santino]

How you see your face?

[Bobby Lee]

What are you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

Shot up. He's flirting with you.

[Bobby Lee]

I've seen your face.

[Marcelo]

How good does Bobby look these days?

[Andrew Santino]

Honestly? The. The. Well, take a good look at the skateboard behind him. Look at how fat he was in that photo. Look what he looks like now. I mean, that's a. That is a dead. Like. That's a great comparison. That is a before and after right in front of your face.

[Marcelo]

100. I mean, yeah, that's.

[Bobby Lee]

When you're like that. You don't. No one tells you.

[Andrew Santino]

I told you all the time.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I thought you're joking.

[Andrew Santino]

I wasn't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But other people out in the wild, they're like, no, you look good. No, I didn't. I didn't look good. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

But this was good. This has always been good.

[Bobby Lee]

This. All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I want to look good. Yeah, you want to look good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is nothing.

[Fancy B]

I prefer you fatter.

[Marcelo]

Why?

[Fancy B]

It just feels like you look huggable.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, right.

[Marcelo]

No, you're gonna look sexy. It's sexy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he's sexy now.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know if I look sexy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you do.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's a stretch.

[Andrew Santino]

But let me say something. I am excited for his transition. He's gonna get.

[Marcelo]

I want to get rid.

[Andrew Santino]

He's gonna get ruined. You know, it. It's neck. It's the stage. It's the next thing, right? They're gonna go, look, Marcelo, you're great on snl. We love seeing you on the show.

[Bobby Lee]

But we want the.

[Andrew Santino]

We want the movies, we want the.

[Bobby Lee]

Girls, we want the money.

[Andrew Santino]

And they gotta get him jacked.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because he's in good shape. Lift up your shirt.

[Marcelo]

Shirt, huh?

[Andrew Santino]

Lift up your shirt.

[Marcelo]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Come on, come on, come on. Give him some money, guys.

[Marcelo]

No, no, no. Yeah, it's nothing crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, let's see. Yeah, see, he's in great shape.

[Bobby Lee]

Great shape.

[Andrew Santino]

Skin and bones. What do you. What size waist? 28.

[Marcelo]

30.

[Andrew Santino]

30? Yeah, right. Liar.

[Marcelo]

30.

[Andrew Santino]

30 with a belt.

[Marcelo]

No, 30. I got big legs. I played soccer forever.

[Andrew Santino]

See? Sexier.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what?

[Andrew Santino]

Drop sexy little things as. Yeah, I got big thighs.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what stage I'm waiting for?

[Marcelo]

What's up?

[Bobby Lee]

Stage five.

[Marcelo]

What's that?

[Bobby Lee]

You know what stage five is?

[Andrew Santino]

Dancer.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, Marcelo, it's Bobby gone.

[Marcelo]

I. I'll never. You guys.

[Bobby Lee]

When's that stage happen, dude?

[Marcelo]

You guys have such a special place in my heart. You don't even Realize it. I was in the pandemic. I had a panic attack in my house. I was spraying my family. I was spraying my family. I was.

[Bobby Lee]

My.

[Marcelo]

My mom, my. I sprayed my whole family. My mom would get home from the supermarket naked. Now take the clothes off. I take the clothes off, I throw it in the washing machine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

They hated me. My sister would.

[Bobby Lee]

You're paranoid, dude.

[Marcelo]

It was really bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

It was really bad. Don't play a fool with me, Nigesh. It was really bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And I was spraying, spraying, spraying. I was mad at them. They were like, we want to go to lunch at A breast. And I go, you're gonna kill us all. I would. I was doing. I was insane. I was spraying my sister's hands. I was being, like, a real psychopath.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Was he a little bit like that?

[Bobby Lee]

No, but Kalila was like that.

[Marcelo]

Kalila.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We get food orders right outside. We'd have to spray it down for 30 minutes, let it sit out there, let the air do its thing, you know, and then bring it in.

[Andrew Santino]

The reason that she really got on the show was because Kalila didn't trust him to not go do something when we were done filming.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So she was kind of like a liaison. A child, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? She was in high school.

[Andrew Santino]

She was in high school when she started the show.

[Marcelo]

Was babysitting Bobby Hobby 100.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

I remember, dude. I'm telling you, I used to watch it every night. I used to listen to it to go to bed. I needed people to be pretending like things were fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we did.

[Marcelo]

And you guys did that.

[Andrew Santino]

But we were so dumb. We don't know any better. We didn't know it wasn't fine, you.

[Marcelo]

Guys sitting relatively close to each other and talking and being funny. It saved my. I truly believe it saved my life. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's really sweet.

[Marcelo]

For me, like, really losing it. And I did ended up. I had to move out of my mom's house. I had to move to my dad's because it was, like, so contentious.

[Andrew Santino]

And what about your dad then? Your dad didn't care at all.

[Marcelo]

My dad is just like two guys living in a house when it's like your mother and your sister, the people that you're supposed. Supposed to protect. You're like, don't. Don't move a muscle. You know what I mean? And then. But with my dad, I was like, it's okay. We're guys. It's fine. We'll be fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you didn't you didn't care if you guys got covered together?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, I thought it was like. It's just two guys. Like, we'll figure it out. But it's like your sister and your mom. It's different.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Protect. That's what. That's what you do with her.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you get a covered.

[Marcelo]

I eventually did get it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Do you like it?

[Marcelo]

I was. No, I got it. I couldn't breathe and stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it was bad.

[Marcelo]

It was bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You did get a bath.

[Marcelo]

I was laying on my side trying to.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't have. Do you have any health issues from when you were a kid?

[Marcelo]

No, but I don't. Like. I think I have to, like. I stopped smoking. I used to smoke. I stopped smoking because I think I. My lungs, I don't think are good.

[Andrew Santino]

Give him a cigarette.

[Marcelo]

Come on.

[Andrew Santino]

Start again.

[Marcelo]

Let's do it. We're here, right?

[Andrew Santino]

The stress, the stress, the stress. You got to start. He started smoking again, and I try to get him to quit multiple times. He just won't do it. How did you do it?

[Marcelo]

You're a sneaky healthy guy.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm healthy, but I. But I like to.

[Marcelo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you.

[Andrew Santino]

Want some? There's some in the other room. Be a little bad boy after the show.

[Marcelo]

Be a little bad boy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I want him to quit smoking. Tell him how to quit.

[Marcelo]

How do you quit? I. I went cold turkey. I don't know if you've. You. But he's tried everything. That's the problem with a guy like this is that he's.

[Bobby Lee]

What are we doing? I got like this. What do you mean, a guy like this?

[Marcelo]

There's a problem with a guy like you. You tried everything.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Marcelo]

You started every drug. Quit it and.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I quit. I quit it.

[Marcelo]

Quit. It's the same thing. Yeah, yeah, you started in the end.

[Bobby Lee]

What the. Do you mean?

[Marcelo]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You know what? I did quit smoking. Two years.

[Andrew Santino]

You started again.

[Bobby Lee]

I know I started again, but I'm.

[Andrew Santino]

Just saying now you've been like.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean, a guy like this?

[Andrew Santino]

Over a year now, right?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

How long has it been over a. Yeah, yeah. You've been smoking again.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Here's the thing. I'm going to quit after my special.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not true.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Yes, it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, it is. Right? We have a pact.

[Marcelo]

It will. Let's put an amount of money on.

[Fancy B]

It.

[Andrew Santino]

Because we have a pact. No, we don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, he doesn't listen.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he listens.

[Marcelo]

I listen.

[Bobby Lee]

No, because you have one thought.

[Marcelo]

You said make a pact. He didn't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

I know what I'm saying though.

[Andrew Santino]

What's that guy's name in the. In that maroon?

[Marcelo]

No idea. But that's Carlos. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And who's the guy in the back? You know that guy is. No, yeah, that's McCone.

[Marcelo]

He's nervous dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he is nervous. Yeah, we call him nervous dude.

[Marcelo]

You guys make him nervous.

[Andrew Santino]

Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time business owners just getting started.

[Andrew Santino]

Shopify gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. Choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand. And I'm telling you, thanks to Shopify, it makes our business online so much easier to get you guys merch of whatever we're selling. And as you grow, Shopify grows with you. Setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit product photos. And what I'm telling you is they set it up so seamlessly. It's so easy to do and the marketing's all built in for you already in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com bad friends go to shopify.com badfriends that's shopify.com bad friends hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side.

[Bobby Lee]

Quiz.

[Andrew Santino]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

They really do. They make incredible stuff. Their outerwear is especially impressive. They've thick down jackets, wool coats and Italian leather outerwear that keep you warm when it's actually cold.

[Bobby Lee]

Quince has everything you need. You know what my favorite the men's Mongolian cashmere sweaters. Wool coats, leather and suede outerwear that actually hold up to daily wear and.

[Andrew Santino]

Still look good and that's the best part about Quince is that it is high quality and it holds up very well at not an extremely unfortunate price like so many other people out there. By cutting out middlemen and traditional markups, Quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price.

[Bobby Lee]

The result is classic styles. You'll love that hold up year after year.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm telling you, that wool coat that they gave us is so nice and so comfortable. Keeps me so warm. So when I come over to your house to cook you soup at night when you're not feeling well, I'm still warm. Refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.combadfriends for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

[Bobby Lee]

Now available in Canada too.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, we love that. That's Quince. Q U I n c e.com Bad Friends free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Bad Friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Bad Friends Just based on looks in an apocalyptic moment, right? Like zombie apocalypse, whatever. Whatever, right? You had to choose four people out of this room to be in your team to survive. Who would you pick?

[Marcelo]

Easy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Marcelo]

Easy. It's. It's you three. Rudy. I know when we get out there, Rudy's gonna be the secret leader of the pack.

[Andrew Santino]

100.

[Marcelo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm gonna go with Carlos. I mean, the other two. I. I like you guys. You seem easily killable. Like, very easily.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, what's the first errand you make Carlos do in the apocalypse?

[Bobby Lee]

Because he's the Aaron guy. He's the runner.

[Marcelo]

I mean. Yeah, yeah. I mean, get bullets. What do you mean bullets? It's the apocalypse. Oh, you mean the apocalypse. Here we're like.

[Bobby Lee]

Like a zombie. Like a zombie apocalypse.

[Marcelo]

Oh, zombie apocalypse.

[Bobby Lee]

We have a compound.

[Marcelo]

Yeah. You know what? I don't knows.

[Bobby Lee]

He knows. What's the bullet? Look, Give me the look.

[Marcelo]

What look? Oh, like when I need him to go do something. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't say anything. Like, I'm Carlos, right? And I look at you like, give me the bullet look.

[Marcelo]

I go like, no, it's not bullet. Carlos knows what we need not be bullet. But I go like this. I go, hey.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm on it.

[Andrew Santino]

You're in the car.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm already getting bread.

[Andrew Santino]

You're in the car.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm getting bread.

[Andrew Santino]

Ready?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You want bread? You got it.

[Marcelo]

Now let's ask this question.

[Andrew Santino]

That's why. That's why you're not the Aaron guy. You'd come back with bread. And we're like, we don't need fucking bread.

[Marcelo]

Goes bad so quickly.

[Andrew Santino]

Golly, dude.

[Marcelo]

Carlos. Zombie apocalypse. I look at you, I go, what are you going to get a couple.

[Producer/Assistant]

Girls who haven't been.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, Carlos.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos.

[Producer/Assistant]

Girls who haven't been bitten.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. All right. Yeah, smart. I understand, I understand, I understand, I understand.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Yeah, I understand.

[Andrew Santino]

But you know what's going to happen?

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Carlos going to go get these girls.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Then he's going to try to be cool, show off in his new car. You know, he's like, donuts in the parking lot. They. He end up getting them bit anyway. He still shows up with them, and he's like, they weren't bit when I got them, but they're bit now, but we can hang with them for a little bit.

[Marcelo]

And I've been thinking about it, and I think we should all just get bit.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you guys think? Should we just get bit? Let's just get bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you would.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah, you would Be fun. Because it'd be like a version of getting high, probably.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I see. I know that's who you're seeking. You're seeking. The addict is seeking. Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Are you. Are you sober?

[Producer/Assistant]

No, no.

[Andrew Santino]

We've tried.

[Bobby Lee]

We tried.

[Andrew Santino]

We've tried for a long time, but.

[Bobby Lee]

In a zombie apocalypse, if you saw a hot zombie, fully hot, would you try to hook up?

[Producer/Assistant]

If I had a really bad injury already and I was.

[Bobby Lee]

But you're not. You don't have the virus, though, right? You see a real. The titties are. The body's still fine. Maybe some scabs.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I mean, a couple of scabs.

[Bobby Lee]

A couple of scabs.

[Marcelo]

You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

The eyes are completely white, but the face is still good.

[Producer/Assistant]

I did this in real life, though. Like, I would go to parties.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Methad, you know, Covid. Oh, Covid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He would go hook up the girls in the middle of COVID Yeah. Yeah. He would have given you a panic attack.

[Producer/Assistant]

There were parties in the hills during.

[Marcelo]

COVID that you would go and try to.

[Andrew Santino]

No, not try. He would do. He hooked up with a bunch of people during coven. Yeah. It's actually where he hit the most home runs during COVID because he was the only guy willing to just go for it.

[Marcelo]

And to you, it's. He's easy to hook up with chicks.

[Producer/Assistant]

Not anymore. As I get older.

[Andrew Santino]

This is not true. He is a.

[Bobby Lee]

He's a. He's got a problem. He's got a problem.

[Producer/Assistant]

He does very well, that's projecting from Bobby, obviously.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? How dare you? Really? You just explain yourself. Explain yourself. Explain yourself.

[Producer/Assistant]

Dude, you're one of the most problematic people with women.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa. Like, whoa, that's heavy shots, huh?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, that word.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

Word is.

[Producer/Assistant]

But you have crazy issues with women.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa. Right? Issues. Wow. Right? A lot crazy. A lot. He says lots. Yeah. What else?

[Producer/Assistant]

I mean.

[Marcelo]

And you have no. You have no issues with women?

[Producer/Assistant]

Countless.

[Andrew Santino]

Countless. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, we're the same now.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah, but I'm just saying, you were.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like the pot calling kettle back.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And the pot will call you back if you leave your phone now. We'll call you back at some point. Honestly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why are you digging?

[Bobby Lee]

Why are you doing something today?

[Andrew Santino]

You shot it before you came. He was shooting.

[Bobby Lee]

I was so nice to you today, too. And you, Carlos. I said that was your day. He was bragging that he stayed at.

[Producer/Assistant]

A nice hotel, and I needed to just tell him, oh, I've also been there. Like, let's not brag.

[Andrew Santino]

These guys have been button heads today for some reason.

[Marcelo]

What's the deal with you, man?

[Bobby Lee]

I know Dud because he's Hispanic. You're Hispanic. You guys kind of, you know, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Connect.

[Marcelo]

He might be the widest looking Hispanic of all time. Yeah, what's your. What? Why is it.

[Producer/Assistant]

Why am I white?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, what's your. Yeah.

[Producer/Assistant]

Mexico City. My parents are Spanish. That's why they're Mexican. No, they're Mexican, but they're Spaniards.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so tell Marcelo you wore those socks for him. Go ahead and tell him about your socks. She wore socks. Oh, play dumb now.

[Bobby Lee]

Play dumb.

[Andrew Santino]

Now that he's here, tell them about the socks you wore and why you wore.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you bought them for him. Like, I'm gonna buy these because I want these.

[Andrew Santino]

Marcelo think these are cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So why those particular socks did you buy?

[Andrew Santino]

It's annoying.

[Bobby Lee]

At the Universal City Walk?

[Fancy B]

Well, because it's Snoopy, but I don't know if it's in your culture to eat dogs, but in my culture, it's. It is okay to eat dogs. And I thought that it would be nice to share culture.

[Andrew Santino]

Say, isn't that sweet?

[Marcelo]

Okay. No, listen, Rudy, I love. I. I really do love Rudy. I'm a fan of yours. I have to tell you, we don't eat dogs in my culture. That I know of. No, but I'm sure it's. It's. People think it's a cultural thing. I do think it's a socioeconomic thing. I think it's like, who. Who can we grab? And the dog. You go. And then.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you're right. I think you're right.

[Marcelo]

My mom said that in Cuba they were eating horse, so that's.

[Andrew Santino]

That'd be so tough. There's no fat.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you see that video on Tick Tock or the. The. I don't know what race they were, but they were boiling a. Boiling a horse head. It was very horrifying.

[Andrew Santino]

What. Where. What is your algorithm?

[Bobby Lee]

My algorithm is like that? Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Just boiling horse head.

[Marcelo]

Oh, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

Why are we doing.

[Andrew Santino]

That's on Ventura.

[Bobby Lee]

It's on Tick Tock.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's on Ventura.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Marcelo]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. No, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, all right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he's brushing his teeth first. Very nice.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a cavity.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't eat cavities.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's crazy. It's crazy horse head.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, enough. He's getting sick. Take it off, please.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so you don't like any of that?

[Marcelo]

Not. I mean, what do you mean, any of.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What does that even mean, any of it?

[Marcelo]

There's more.

[Bobby Lee]

That kind of stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You don't like it? I got. Yeah.

[Marcelo]

I'm not sure what it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What is. What is. What is your labor Late night post show meal. You got to have like a late. Whether it's stand up or. Or taping an snl. What do you do in late night?

[Marcelo]

I need to change it, but I love to get home after doing shows and have like a burger with fries. In New York, I do 7th Street Burger. Have you tried it? Really good. Smash burgers. They're amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Smash burger.

[Bobby Lee]

And it's open late.

[Marcelo]

It's open super late.

[Andrew Santino]

It's got to be. These guys aren't done till. Till one in the morning.

[Marcelo]

That's. That's the best. And then here. I love In N Out, dude. I. I really enjoy it.

[Bobby Lee]

It's good.

[Marcelo]

I like the energy that there. The people inside of In N Out, they're taking it serious.

[Andrew Santino]

They are.

[Marcelo]

They're taking it serious. They all feel like they're on camera and they probably are, but that yesterday we were. A couple days ago we went and we're in the window. We're waiting to get to the lady that gives us the food. And there's a guy in the window, and he's looking at us, and we're looking at him, and we're kind of just waiting for the food. And then he goes like this. He goes like he wanted to play rock, paper, rock, paper, scissors.

[Bobby Lee]

W. You know what I mean? Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you do it?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, of course.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you win?

[Marcelo]

No, he won. I think he does this a lot. He knows.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What's your first? Just right now. Instinct. You want to do it?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like one, two, three.

[Andrew Santino]

It's always on three.

[Bobby Lee]

You do it.

[Marcelo]

No, no, you go rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

[Andrew Santino]

Correct. It's one.

[Bobby Lee]

Rock, paper, scissors. Okay, ready? You want to do it? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. You won. I never. I've never won that game. I've literally never won that game. You want to do one?

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

[Andrew Santino]

You got me.

[Bobby Lee]

Me. I did.

[Marcelo]

He also went three times.

[Andrew Santino]

So I knew what he was going to do it again. Yeah. So that's why I did rock to.

[Marcelo]

Let the same thing.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you just do that. Why did you do that?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, cuz I want you to feel good. I'm your friend.

[Marcelo]

Oh, there's a therapist somewhere that's like if they do paper three times in a row.

[Andrew Santino]

Very sad.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And tell us about your father. You did paper three times Means you.

[Marcelo]

Don'T learn or something.

[Andrew Santino]

What's your in n out order? I'm going to guess. You know what? I got it.

[Marcelo]

Give me. I'm. I'm picky.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I can tell. Yeah, you are. You're little sweet prince, aren't you?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, he's trying to lose with animal style.

[Andrew Santino]

Animal styles. Not lose weight. The animal style is just with. That's just grilled onions. No, protein styles.

[Bobby Lee]

Protein, that's for me. Protein styles. My bad.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he doesn't do that. That. But he. But I will tell you, he doesn't like the onions. He gets those off of there. No onions.

[Marcelo]

Yes, onions.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, onions.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, onions. Dude.

[Marcelo]

But. But there is something I take off of there.

[Fancy B]

Tomatoes.

[Andrew Santino]

No chiz.

[Bobby Lee]

They're sauce.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you do.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they're sauce.

[Andrew Santino]

Blasphemy. Yeah, you take the sauce off.

[Marcelo]

Double, double lettuce, tomato, onion. No sauce, no sauce. No sauce.

[Andrew Santino]

No sauce.

[Bobby Lee]

You love it?

[Marcelo]

I love it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Do you eat the pepperoncinis?

[Marcelo]

What's that?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, come on, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like nothing. You don't pe.

[Andrew Santino]

Right there. Pepperono.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude.

[Marcelo]

What do they call them? They're the chilies. The chilies.

[Bobby Lee]

They're not that spicy.

[Andrew Santino]

They're not spicy.

[Bobby Lee]

Always eat it.

[Andrew Santino]

They're pickled, right? They're not spicy. Yeah.

[Marcelo]

I think also you like that stuff. Yeah, Like I'm just. See, I'm seeing you go like this. Don't look at me like I asked a crazy question. She goes like this. And I go, you like that stuff? And she goes, what? Your. Your body language was. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

She likes. She likes wild.

[Marcelo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know what balut is?

[Marcelo]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Marcelo]

You look at a photo, their house, and you eat whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

She brought it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, look at me right now before you look at the photo. Okay, okay. All right. Balut is this right? B, B, B. Right?

[Marcelo]

You say B.

[Bobby Lee]

So they take a duck egg, right? And then two weeks before the duck is born, then they boil it, right. And they ferment it.

[Andrew Santino]

Y.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And so you eat kind of a baby ducky kind of situation. Look at the balut.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what it is.

[Fancy B]

It's so good.

[Andrew Santino]

They love it.

[Bobby Lee]

They love it.

[Andrew Santino]

They love it.

[Fancy B]

You put vinegar and salt and you just slurp the sauce inside.

[Marcelo]

It's not sauce, Marcelo. That's guts.

[Bobby Lee]

Marcello.

[Marcelo]

Jello.

[Bobby Lee]

You can taste the feathers.

[Richie]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

I've had it before.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, we had it on this show.

[Marcelo]

I've seen you guys talk about it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. When you crunch on the skull, you can see the brain squirting your baby.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. All right, all right.

[Marcelo]

You know, that's what this show has become now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, no, we know.

[Marcelo]

You just stir fried a horse head and then you showed me this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

People of the world. They have different diets. So no sauce on the double. Double.

[Marcelo]

I don't like. I'm not a big sauce guy.

[Andrew Santino]

I also think you like fries as is. You need a more.

[Marcelo]

More crispy fries as I can do it more crispy.

[Andrew Santino]

I like the more crispy mean.

[Bobby Lee]

But are you a gravy guy?

[Marcelo]

No, I think that's gross.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Any gravy on biscuits or anything?

[Marcelo]

Any gravy.

[Andrew Santino]

And what's the soda order in the. In this combo.

[Marcelo]

7 up. I'm a sprite guy. When I was little, my dad told me that Coca Cola had Coca Rouses in it cuz he was scared of me having caffeine and then being a problem.

[Bobby Lee]

I see. I say, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Seven up Sprite.

[Marcelo]

Seven Upper Sprite.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

But I think once as you get.

[Andrew Santino]

Older, you get a better palette. Yeah. Your soda palette changer.

[Marcelo]

Just looking for excitement.

[Bobby Lee]

You look at us as like old men.

[Marcelo]

Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

You look at it as like old men.

[Marcelo]

Not old men.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

But definitely older men.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Older men. Yeah.

[Marcelo]

I think that this.

[Bobby Lee]

When you look at Lauren and Me. It's different.

[Marcelo]

Yes. Different.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. But close.

[Andrew Santino]

Close.

[Marcelo]

No, Lauren, I would say, is closer to me because he has gotten to an age where you can kind of. You can make mistakes and stuff. And they're like, oh, he's old. Same way, if I make a mistake, they go, oh, he's just a young guy. You guys, what you're doing, it's important. Say that the decisions you're making, Carlos has to be careful.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

You know what I mean? The one with the glasses and the beanie and the hoodie inside. Yeah. He's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

He can make mistakes.

[Andrew Santino]

He's 24.

[Marcelo]

He can do this. He's 24.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And then the other one, you know, mysterious. Mysterious.

[Andrew Santino]

He's 25. He thinks he's more superior. 20. He's 26. That's right. I forgot. I always forget that you got. You grew up.

[Bobby Lee]

You're 24 now, right? That's insane.

[Marcelo]

Bobby, does it feel a little bit good to have, like, these white guys running around doing whatever you say?

[Bobby Lee]

I do like it.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

There is a part of it. Of it, like.

[Marcelo]

Yeah, it is a part of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's my time. I'm no longer running, you know, because the beginning, I ran. I got all kinds of stuff. Like, so today, candy bar. I'll get it. You know, I mean. But not anymore. They get the candy bar.

[Marcelo]

I. You know Skank Fest?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Marcelo]

I used to do. I was an intern at skank fest in 2019. 2018.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Marcelo]

And I. So they basically had. I was doing everything. I was setting stuff up. I was making the goodie bags for the comedians. I was doing all that stuff. And then one day, the lady that runs the thing, she goes, the impractical jokers are coming, and they need a charcuterie board.

[Andrew Santino]

It sounds like an impractical joke.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Al and them are coming.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And they need a charcoal board. It's gonna be Sal Davitel. They're doing this thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

You need to get them a charcuterie reboard. And they give me a card, and they go, get me a charcuterie board.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And now I'm in Brooklyn. I'm. I'm an intern. I'm by myself, and I need to get a charcuterie board. So I'm running around from Delhi to Delhi. Do you do Shakur Report? They go, this is a deli. What are you talking about? Go over and over. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Nobody knows How. For how many people? I go, like, 10 people. They go, that doesn't exist. Yeah, you're talking about something. Finally, I show up to a place. I think it was a Korean deli. I think there was a Korean guy behind the thing. And I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you don't know.

[Marcelo]

There's no way to know, okay? And I don't remember. I didn't ask him that. Just an Asian guy, and it was at his deli. And I go, I need a charcuterie board. He goes, I'm sorry, man, we don't do that. And I go, I go, do you have. Let me Google what's in our Shakuri board. I Google. I go, do you have this? Do you have carrots? Do you have this? Do you have this? Do you have this? Do you have ham? Do you have this? He goes, yes, I have all those things that I. I go, can we make it together? And he goes, I don't know how much that would cost. I go, it's not my card. And the guy goes, okay, so now I'm behind the deli, behind the. The glass, and I'm chopping stuff up with him.

[Andrew Santino]

You're making a Shakur.

[Bobby Lee]

If I was. Let me just. If I got that as a Chuuri bar without that, like, you know, little jam and, you know, I mean, all the little things.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you didn't let him finish. Maybe he got the jam.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think he did.

[Marcelo]

He didn't get jam.

[Bobby Lee]

But you took sandwich meat and you chopped it up. That's not a chakuri.

[Marcelo]

Do you board sandwich meat? We got cheeses, different cheeses.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Marcelo]

Cucumbers. What's the. The peppers, the long peppers. And we put them all together in a thing. I made two of them. Yeah, two of them. And then the guy goes, I don't know what to charge you. And then, honestly, he was like. He was. He looked at me, he was like, I had a good time. Like we built a kind of a relationship. And then. And then I walked in like a legend. Cuz they were really panicking about the charcuteri board. And I walked in with the charcuterie and they were like, how'd you do this? And I got no more.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't worry.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'll tell you something. The jokers didn't even touch one piece of meat.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the worst part is whenever we get something in a rider, it's like, we don't. We didn't even ask for it. Someone else said, they going to want this and we never need any stuff. They put in there?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And then the most beautiful thing is I did that David Tell. And all these guys were in the screen room, and I didn't get, like a big. You know what I mean? Congratulations. You did it. We were in a tough place. You saved us. I didn't feel like I got the credit I deserved.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

But they were thankful. It just was like, I. I didn't know how. What I went through.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And then the next day at Skank Fest, Davitel came up to me, and I guess he had seen me deliver it, and he gave me a bag of oranges.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, did he know you did stand up?

[Marcelo]

Yes, I think so.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He's one of the sweetest guys. He always brings gifts for people. You know, like when he goes to the seller, he brings gifts for the.

[Bobby Lee]

Nice guy in the world.

[Marcelo]

That was so nice.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you ever done Skank Fest now?

[Marcelo]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

So you only interned? You never even got to do it?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Marcelo]

They gave me five minutes, though, at the end of it, like one of those little shows. They let me do Crush.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow. Crush.

[Marcelo]

I don't think so. Early. And Skank Fest is like, there's something they want to hear here.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And I'm not exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, that's not your thing. How'd you end up interning? How did that even start?

[Marcelo]

A friend of a friend. I interned for Impact with Jokers. I was. I used to hide the cameras. I used to stand in front of the guy that has the camera.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And I used to wear all black and stand in front of him. That's funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Really?

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Marcelo]

In a park and you stand there. And then I did that for a couple of times. I did the impractical jokers thing, and then one of the ladies that was a producer on a Practical Joker, she knew the producers for. From Skank Fest, and then she put us together, and then I did interning there.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. And look at you now, young man.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at you now.

[Andrew Santino]

Rudy, you have any questions that you want to ask Marcelo? Because this is the time, man. He came all the way here for you.

[Marcelo]

True.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't stall out. This is so crazy. You're stalling out all day. She's, like, so excited to meet you, and then she's stalling. Now. Just say what you need to say.

[Marcelo]

I think you're upset that we don't eat dog. I think we can still be friends. It's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Fancy B]

Do you like Pozole?

[Marcelo]

No. I've heard of it. I can't tell you what it is.

[Fancy B]

Oh, that's all my question.

[Marcelo]

Okay, that's not your question.

[Fancy B]

That's all.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's all you want? Yeah. She does research.

[Marcelo]

She does research.

[Andrew Santino]

She works hard on.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, there's so many other questions you can ask.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, almost.

[Marcelo]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you. Are you nervous in front of him?

[Fancy B]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Carlos, you're not.

[Andrew Santino]

You're not.

[Producer/Assistant]

I think you are because you're hamming it up more than usual.

[Bobby Lee]

Visual. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. Are you really nervous?

[Bobby Lee]

A little bit.

[Andrew Santino]

Be honest. It's okay. He can't hear us because you knew.

[Bobby Lee]

Who he was, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fancy B]

Maybe a little bit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

There we go.

[Andrew Santino]

That's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Now the door's open.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's totally fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Fancy B]

Do you like dogs?

[Bobby Lee]

No, don't.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't do the dog.

[Andrew Santino]

The dog again.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, there's so many. Did you see. No.

[Marcelo]

My mom has a little tiny dog I like.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you see Godzilla? Minus one?

[Marcelo]

No. What's the. That?

[Bobby Lee]

It's a movie.

[Marcelo]

I. I can. I can imagine that.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, good. Something you can ask anything. You know what I mean? Do you like the wind? Huh? Do you like the wind? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hate.

[Bobby Lee]

You hate the wind.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's one of my least favorite elements.

[Marcelo]

What's your hair like?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Is it orange?

[Marcelo]

No, no. Like, what's it like, the shape.

[Andrew Santino]

It's short.

[Marcelo]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a nightmare right now.

[Marcelo]

Yeah. I was expecting, like.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no. Oh, dude. I just took a shower after the gym and came here.

[Marcelo]

It's like a dude. Bobby is good, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Bob. 54. Still got it.

[Marcelo]

It's 54.

[Andrew Santino]

Still got it.

[Marcelo]

It's really nice.

[Andrew Santino]

Still got it thick.

[Marcelo]

Really freaking good, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Really good, man. I'm really good, dude. I'm sexy, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

You have always been sexy, dude. Even before you lost the weight, you were sexy.

[Marcelo]

I have an idea. You guys do this stuff all the time. Do me a favor. This new Bobby, Skinny Bobby, kind of like taking care of your body, going out there, single Bobby, body, body. What do you do now? Now you. Would you say you have a little bit more confidence now out there?

[Andrew Santino]

With women?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, with women. No, no. Keep the. Can I. Can you keep the hair for a second so you have a little more confidence with the women? You would say.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no. I mean. What do you mean?

[Marcelo]

I always had confidence because you.

[Bobby Lee]

I always have confidence.

[Marcelo]

But, you know, you look better. What? You know, you look better.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? I'll tell you something. Okay. Marcelo. All right. Right? I always Shoot my shot.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. And you know what? I'm not Robin Hood. Sometimes the arrows miss.

[Marcelo]

Can I see an example? Shoot your shot right now with Andrew. Just so I can see.

[Andrew Santino]

Give it to me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what's the scenario I got you?

[Marcelo]

You're at a bar, right?

[Bobby Lee]

What kind of bar? I need specific.

[Marcelo]

I have a better scenario.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

You just did a show at the store.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Marcelo]

There was a girl in the crowd that was watching you. You liked it. She was laughing. She liked your show. You like her. You see her at the bar, outside of the. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

In the patio.

[Marcelo]

In the patio. And you walk out and you see her there. And you make eye contact.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And you walk over.

[Bobby Lee]

I walk over and I go, hey. I'll go, hey. I would say something random. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like the wind?

[Andrew Santino]

What's up?

[Bobby Lee]

What's up?

[Andrew Santino]

I noticed you from across the room.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

She's drunker than you thought. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What kind of jacket is that?

[Andrew Santino]

All Saints.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I love All Saints, man. I have two. One of them. I have a leather jacket. Are you Chinese? You're making me nervous.

[Marcelo]

Yeah, I'm making.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're making me nervous.

[Marcelo]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Hold on, let me do it together. I got to wear the hat.

[Marcelo]

Yeah, yeah, you can come in. Yeah, yeah, come in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta be real. But that's it.

[Marcelo]

Yeah. You're being weird. You're being weird. He's being weird.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm drunk at the bar. I'm drunk at the bar. I'm drunk at the bar.

[Marcelo]

I'm excited that he's coming over. You liked his show?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I liked his show.

[Marcelo]

Oh, God, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

See that? I don't want that. I wouldn't hit on that girl.

[Marcelo]

I know, I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

Do it with me. Do it me right.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll deal with you.

[Andrew Santino]

I wouldn't fuck you anyway. See, that's what I'm cheating parking.

[Bobby Lee]

Dead end, dude. Yeah, it's a dead end.

[Andrew Santino]

I like black guys.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

China boy.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no way, dude. Yeah, yeah. I'm Korean. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. You can flirt with me.

[Marcelo]

Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

I saw your show.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you're doing it now?

[Andrew Santino]

I saw your show.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So funny.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't go up tonight.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I've seen your show. Your bad friend show.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't have a podcast.

[Andrew Santino]

How'd you know it's a podcast?

[Marcelo]

She's good.

[Bobby Lee]

Now you got me.

[Marcelo]

She's good. Now.

[Bobby Lee]

I do have one. Thank you.

[Marcelo]

You.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's you're so funny on there.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you so much. What do you do?

[Andrew Santino]

Tech.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I love tech.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Sales.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You? Nike has a new shoe. What? You can strap it to your calf and it makes you run faster.

[Andrew Santino]

Really? Do you have them?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm going to get one. You know what? I love tech. I like all kinds of tech.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

In fact, I have two robots in my bedroom.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What do they do?

[Bobby Lee]

Emo. I can ask for the weather. And Emma goes. I go, good morning, Emo. Hello, Bobby. I go, what's the weather like? It's gonna be cloudy today. You know what I mean? And then sometimes you can shake him and he goes, whoa. Right? Because he gets like. You know what I mean? And then like. And also at nights, I always have to say goodnight. Yeah, it's just a little robot, but I'll go, good night, Emo.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know Marcelo?

[Marcelo]

No. No know.

[Andrew Santino]

Could you introduce me to him?

[Bobby Lee]

Marcela, who? You know, Hernandez.

[Marcelo]

Bobby, at no point did you shoot your shot with this woman.

[Bobby Lee]

I.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, look, I'll you if you introduce me.

[Bobby Lee]

Marcel. No, no, Marcel, just come. Okay. Let me say something, right?

[Andrew Santino]

His shots are slow.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Marcelo]

It took a long time.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a lot of arc.

[Marcelo]

Yeah. I'm waiting for you to. It's not a straight A compliment.

[Andrew Santino]

Why don't you hit on him and see what happens? Yeah, go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, let me just say something.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he's offended.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not offended. No, I'm not offended. I was a little offended by the. By the notes. I'll be. I understand that. Right. Okay. What I'm saying, right. Sometimes you open, right? It's a slow open.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Slow. He's a slow.

[Bobby Lee]

And it's a fast close.

[Marcelo]

Oh, wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? You slow open faster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So what I'm saying is, is that I just showed you a technique called slow open.

[Marcelo]

Got it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Marcelo]

It was.

[Bobby Lee]

And kids like you don't understand that move.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You go straight up. You want to. I don't know.

[Marcelo]

You want me to hit on you?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[Marcelo]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Ready? Is it gotta be me?

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Hey.

[Marcelo]

Oh, my God. Hey.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey. Wait, are you on snl?

[Marcelo]

Yeah. You just.

[Andrew Santino]

You were.

[Marcelo]

You saw the show inside. I did. In the Comedy Store.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're really funny.

[Marcelo]

Thank you so much.

[Bobby Lee]

I went to the bathroom halfway during it, but I came back in. The last couple of jokes you did was funny about your mom in the Puerto Rico.

[Marcelo]

Thank you so much.

[Bobby Lee]

It's really Good. The way you do your accents.

[Marcelo]

Dominican Republic. Cuba. Cuba.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it the same?

[Marcelo]

No. Yeah, sure it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it?

[Marcelo]

You're funny, too.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Marcelo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What's up?

[Marcelo]

Nothing. I just wanted to come.

[Bobby Lee]

You live in New York?

[Marcelo]

Yeah, I live in New York.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

I just want to say hi to you. I saw you.

[Bobby Lee]

Hi.

[Marcelo]

I thought you were cute.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Candace. Let's get the out of here.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Marcelo]

Let's go.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's that guy?

[Marcelo]

Hold on. What? Candace. That's your name?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm Candace. Why?

[Marcelo]

Well, no, nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

Owens.

[Marcelo]

I was just making sure.

[Bobby Lee]

You see my podcast.

[Marcelo]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Huh?

[Marcelo]

You know what? Now that I think.

[Andrew Santino]

Good date. Good date.

[Bobby Lee]

Good day.

[Andrew Santino]

It was a good date.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

See, he closed, but he closes with a smile. You know, he just flashes those.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at those things.

[Bobby Lee]

The thing.

[Marcelo]

It's bracelet Marcelo off.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so different for. You're young. You're on a show.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're on the rise.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a sinking ship. I'm the Titanic.

[Marcelo]

Let me say something to you right now. Can I say something?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Marcelo]

Let me do. Bobby, can I say something? Can I say something? Can I say something?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Ye.

[Marcelo]

Say one thing. And what I want to say is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And I want to say one thing, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

When you think about it, right, what are women looking for? Someone that's successful, someone that's working a lot, someone that's busy, and someone that's taking care of themselves.

[Bobby Lee]

I think the criteria is different. I think the criteria is different. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Two different worlds.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Now women are like, they need to be six, too.

[Marcelo]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I've seen them at TikTok.

[Marcelo]

True.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. I get that. And I get the boiling horse head and my tic tac feet. Okay. All right. So I get two things, right? And then I, you know, and they're like, I want 6:2. They have to make 3 million a year. Their criteria is different.

[Marcelo]

No, they're not.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm five four. You know what I mean? I'm weird.

[Marcelo]

I Forgot you were five four.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. How tall are you?

[Producer/Assistant]

Little.

[Marcelo]

Five, eight.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you really five' eight?

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But you're 54. Five four, 54. It's a good luck. Maybe that's good luck.

[Bobby Lee]

That's good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

It's a good thing, Andrew.

[Andrew Santino]

Six one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo]

And. And he developed a personality.

[Bobby Lee]

My personality is.

[Andrew Santino]

No, yours is fantastic.

[Marcelo]

He's not saying it's bad sense.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He's not saying.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me ask you something. You don't think I have a personality.

[Marcelo]

It makes sense that you have a personality. You're five' four.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's what you're saying?

[Marcelo]

You know, I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. So he's 6:2, and he had to develop personally.

[Marcelo]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, the redhead?

[Andrew Santino]

The redhead.

[Marcelo]

Is that what happened?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, red hair.

[Andrew Santino]

Red hair, yeah.

[Marcelo]

Where did you grow up? They came at you for that?

[Andrew Santino]

A little bit, yeah. Yeah, a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

The Chicago project. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, always. Not in the projects. No, I was in the projects.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. I always tell people that you're from the project.

[Andrew Santino]

Why do you do that?

[Bobby Lee]

What? It's like one of those stand and deliver kind of. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You'll be like Cabrini Green. He was in the project. He rose. You know what I mean? The story is better.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I like the story.

[Bobby Lee]

If you stay for the suburbs, we'll give a.

[Andrew Santino]

From the project. Yeah, from the project.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So the toughest, toughest part.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm from the streets of Korea, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

From San Diego. Diego.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I tell people.

[Andrew Santino]

Korea, San Diego, dude. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. During the war, dude. I had nothing.

[Andrew Santino]

He really did. And he had a scrap.

[Bobby Lee]

Took a little boat to America, went to open mic, and here I am.

[Andrew Santino]

They used to do open mics on the boat on the way over.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He would kill.

[Bobby Lee]

Everybody. Everybody. Just me doing stand up on a boat.

[Marcelo]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

You got scared. I did an accent.

[Marcelo]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Little bit.

[Marcelo]

Accent. Accents.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. You do.

[Andrew Santino]

You do.

[Marcelo]

You do accent.

[Andrew Santino]

I do. I do.

[Marcelo]

I do Spanish, too, huh?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, sometimes you speak Spanish.

[Marcelo]

What do you say in Spanish?

[Andrew Santino]

I can't. Well, I can't say it because you'll.

[Marcelo]

Know it, but say it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, man.

[Marcelo]

Have some fun, man.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Because our Latin audience has been writing letters lately.

[Marcelo]

Is that true?

[Andrew Santino]

They're really upset. Yeah, they. They're upset. Carlos knows and Fancy B. They've been writing a lot of letters.

[Bobby Lee]

Say what?

[Andrew Santino]

Just. Just about the way that we treat our. Our Latin employees.

[Marcelo]

And we should say that the Latinos. That you're going to be fine and everything's gonna be okay, and we love you here.

[Andrew Santino]

They didn't write us letters. I.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, let's just say something positive about Latino.

[Marcelo]

Let's say something positive. Let's actually. Let's go around the room.

[Bobby Lee]

I have many things I want to say.

[Marcelo]

Let's go around the room.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

And Rudy should go first.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Go, go. Yeah.

[Fancy B]

I love their food. I love their language.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't do more than one. You can't do more. We all need to. We all need some of that.

[Fancy B]

I love their noses.

[Andrew Santino]

Very. Their noses.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good.

[Marcelo]

Very good. We'll take it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's for us. Go that way.

[Marcelo]

Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. You'll know what I mean when I say it. You'll know what I mean.

[Marcelo]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a dream too. Richie Lamba. Richie Valance. Dud.

[Marcelo]

Okay. You love Richie Val.

[Bobby Lee]

I love him.

[Marcelo]

That's nice.

[Andrew Santino]

How you're still Asian while you're doing.

[Bobby Lee]

I do it in Japanese. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like a Japanese. Richie.

[Bobby Lee]

Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Really good.

[Bobby Lee]

Really good. Yeah, yeah, Go ahead. Go ahead, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Some of the most beautiful women I think I've ever seen in mind.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Hallelujah.

[Andrew Santino]

My biggest. My biggest. My first crush. My first crush was at an arcade. And a. A Puerto Rican chick who was much older than me was with, like, her little brother who was near my age. And. And for the first time in my life, I. I thought, I don't know what this feeling is, but I like that thing.

[Marcelo]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know what it was like, you know, when you. Too young to understand, but you were like, whatever this is. I like that. Whatever that is.

[Marcelo]

I love. I loved what you said. Except when you called her a thing. Did you feel that?

[Fancy B]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

No, not her. The idea.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't know.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't understand what feelings are. You go, I like this. Whatever this feeling is, I like that thing. That feeling of like, you. I like you. I don't even know why that. What that means. That's before, when you didn't understand girls and you were young and you were like, I like it.

[Marcelo]

It was just a feeling.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you can't even describe. It's like, I thick. Do I. And I wanna.

[Marcelo]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, no, you don't know how to feel. You're like, what is that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How do. That's why little kids hit each other, because they like each other. They don't know how to feel. They're like. They don't know how to tell each other, I like. You say, pull a girl's hair because they're like, I'm gonna like you so much.

[Marcelo]

That's your guy's Crocs. That's the crux.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Bobby's addiction. And your anger.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, he does have rage.

[Marcelo]

And he's strong.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're strong. Has rage. Yeah. He's an athlete.

[Andrew Santino]

Cast me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you guys like about Latinos, huh? I just watched El Mariachi, okay?

[Bobby Lee]

Robert Rodriguez, dude, but you didn't say you liked something.

[Andrew Santino]

You just said you watched a film.

[Bobby Lee]

I loved it. El Mariachi was a great movie.

[Andrew Santino]

It was better than Desperado.

[Marcelo]

Nah, Compared it to another Latin movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it was his other. All right, Richie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, go ahead, Richie.

[Richie]

Oh, well, I have a reoccurring.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa.

[Marcelo]

That's your voice?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's me.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Marcelo]

Man.

[Richie]

I have this reoccurring dream where I have a Latino wife. So I. I feel like I'm searching for her.

[Andrew Santino]

What's her name?

[Bobby Lee]

What's her name?

[Richie]

Dude, I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Make it up.

[Richie]

Marissa.

[Marcelo]

And what happens in the dream? That. How do you know she's Latin?

[Richie]

Well, all right. So I wake up and I'm like, in. I'm definitely in Mexico.

[Andrew Santino]

She's yelling at me first thing in the morning.

[Marcelo]

How do you know it's Mexico?

[Richie]

No, it's just, like, the architecture. Like, it just feels.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You could be in Spain, though, too.

[Richie]

Could be in Spain, but, like, somewhere.

[Andrew Santino]

See how he's answering this? He's skating around. Careful, careful, careful, careful, careful.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, so you're Mexico.

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead.

[Richie]

Somewhere. I'm in Mexico. I'm, like, waking up. Like, my wife's, like, making bacon and eggs, and I'm like. Like, right in the morning. And then I, like, walk up and, like, we have a little kiss. I'm like, oh, like, this is awesome. Like, thank you for making me breakfast. And then she's like, I'm pregnant. And I'm like, oh, my God, that's so awesome.

[Andrew Santino]

And that's how you know she's Latino, she's pregnant, and you just met her.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're racist, Richard. That's disgusting.

[Richie]

My wife, it's like, years in the future. It's a dream.

[Andrew Santino]

And she's making.

[Bobby Lee]

And then you speak some Spanish to her. What do you say?

[Richie]

I. Hola, me. I'm a Richie.

[Marcelo]

So you introduce yourself. She knows me every time.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, she's got. She's got brain damage.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she's break down.

[Andrew Santino]

He has to do that to make sure she remembers who he is.

[Marcelo]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

The idea is very funny that you were married to this woman for a very long time. She's making you bacon and eggs in the morning.

[Bobby Lee]

You probably have a pet chupacabra.

[Marcelo]

You son of a. Right?

[Bobby Lee]

No, a little baby chupacabra. And he's. Every morning. Yeah, I've never. I don't know what a chupacabra sounds like, but I assume that's what the baby a.

[Marcelo]

You have a. You have a pet, you have a Pet baby Chupacabra. Rudy comes in and eats it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Marcelo]

What about you, Carlos? Say something nice about the Latinos, if you don't mind.

[Producer/Assistant]

The Mexican hairless dog.

[Andrew Santino]

He loves Mexican hairless dogs. One of his favorite. That. He talks about it all the time.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Loves this dog.

[Bobby Lee]

Want one? Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

He wants one very.

[Marcelo]

They all have a mohawk.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Wow. That is very cool. I've never seen that before.

[Andrew Santino]

You've never seen a Mexican hairstyle? Great. And that's him. He's. Yeah. See that? It's a match.

[Marcelo]

Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa.

[Producer/Assistant]

Wow. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Reverse you.

[Bobby Lee]

Isn't that crazy? You never knew that about.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Marcelo]

My God, Carlos. It's not that crazy. It is very crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

It's crazy, right?

[Marcelo]

I saw you watch the show, dude. No, I didn't see that. Wow, Carlos.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Wow.

[Marcelo]

No wonder you have that anger, Carlos. Yes. I'm not mad. You know what's funny? They look down on you. They have hair, don't they?

[Andrew Santino]

You know what? You're a beautiful man.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't let anybody tell you.

[Marcelo]

Listen. He's not wrong. You're a beautiful man. From the forehead down. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Keep the hat on. That's a lot wild. That's a lot of the.

[Marcelo]

Carlos, you're holding on.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

You could be a goodlooking bald guy. Why not just do it?

[Producer/Assistant]

I've been that. It just wasn't me.

[Andrew Santino]

When we. Years ago, he used to shave it all off. And then he started to do this look again. But by the way, women love it. Women. The success rate with this is through the roof.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Women love it.

[Marcelo]

It's immediate sympathy. Is that what I said?

[Producer/Assistant]

Authentic self.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I think it is that they like about that? That it is very unique.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, there's only so many men that were willing to do that.

[Marcelo]

No. And next to him, they're gonna look great.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we get you a toupee? I want to. Have you ever had a toupee?

[Marcelo]

You would do it?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I think you look good.

[Marcelo]

What if we did. What if we. What if we bought him a hair? Like, bought him one of those hair pieces that they glue on, like the good.

[Andrew Santino]

Like the real one?

[Marcelo]

Got one.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Producer/Assistant]

Annie Letterman got me that.

[Andrew Santino]

She got your real one.

[Bobby Lee]

What about the spray?

[Producer/Assistant]

I don't think the spray works.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, let's get a spray.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a lot of spray.

[Marcelo]

It would be good content, though, if you guys bought him a trip to Turkey and made him film all of it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's A lot of turkey.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you take that? I would go to turkey and we bought you hair and you have to.

[Marcelo]

Film the whole thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, but that's a lot. That's a lot of hair, man. That's not like a little bit.

[Marcelo]

I think it's going to be too expensive.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's a money problem.

[Bobby Lee]

$450,000.

[Producer/Assistant]

It's like the hairline would be up here. Mine's like back here.

[Marcelo]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Turn around real quick. But they still can do. My God. Dude.

[Marcelo]

But he has a. He has a great smile. He has a great face.

[Bobby Lee]

I never see the back though. The back is white, wild. Turn around in the back again.

[Producer/Assistant]

I have to.

[Bobby Lee]

People just turn around in the back. Jeez.

[Marcelo]

God, that guy does creepy crime.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Landing, you know what really is the land. The land for him with women truly is. And I've heard this from every woman ever that we've. That we have like mutual con. Either friends or peers or co workers. They're all like Carlos is such a sweet guy.

[Marcelo]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Like he's so nice and m's nodding off cuz he knows the truth. The guy has a way way with people and women. The way he's like disarming and sweet and genuine.

[Marcelo]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

That. That gets him, dude. Sometimes that's all they need.

[Marcelo]

And also a guy that is willing to let his hair look like that. Yeah, it's very confident on the inside.

[Andrew Santino]

He is a confident guy, man.

[Marcelo]

Yeah, probably.

[Andrew Santino]

See? And a guy like Richie on the other hand, too confident for no reason. For no reason.

[Marcelo]

What's under the hood there?

[Andrew Santino]

No, he's got a nice head. Lettuce.

[Producer/Assistant]

Fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Wow. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, now you look more like a lesbian now for some reason.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Where did you get it? That's what he does whenever he's.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Where you going? To Lilith Fair. What's going on? Sarah McLaughlin tickets.

[Andrew Santino]

He works as a. He works at the other. Our other studio helping out. And then he was designated to come over here when Fancy was gone and we kind of liked him. We left him. We said, you know what? Let the kid keep coming by. Were you an intern first over there?

[Richie]

I wasn't an intern. I was a PA first.

[Marcelo]

God, every time he talks, I talk.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I know, it's. But you're not a Quinnipiac kid.

[Richie]

I am.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you are.

[Richie]

That was the first time I was here that.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh really? You were? We had these guys come from college. They come over and they did intern thing and.

[Marcelo]

Can you sing? No. Can you just try?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, just give them song.

[Richie]

Give me a song.

[Bobby Lee]

Amazing Grace. It's a public domain song. Go. No, commit to it.

[Marcelo]

Sing. Stop, stop, stop. Yeah, sing your favorite song. Your favorite song.

[Andrew Santino]

It's guar. Right? What is it?

[Richie]

I'm blanking on, like, every song ever.

[Marcelo]

Right. Anything you got.

[Richie]

We're singing a song. No, this is my song.

[Andrew Santino]

What? Just do Pink Pony Club. That's what you love. You love that song. Pink Pony Club.

[Richie]

I'm just gonna keep on dancing at.

[Andrew Santino]

The Pink Bony Club.

[Marcelo]

I'm gonna doing a Mexican accent.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

Everybody else feel that.

[Richie]

I'm trying to do chaperone.

[Marcelo]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Chaperone.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He can't dance. He can't sing.

[Richie]

I can dance.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on, come on. Come over here. No, no. Get your thing out.

[Marcelo]

I've come here. I've made all the white people do something in front of me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. Oh, oh, oh.

[Marcelo]

Music y. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Rudy's right. I think he might have a big penis.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know why he's keeping these girls around. This is. I. I can't.

[Marcelo]

What was the thing?

[Andrew Santino]

It was so good. Rich. What size shoe are you? Rich.

[Richie]

12 and a half.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, go back in the thing.

[Marcelo]

Get away from me with that thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Get out here. I might sue you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Real bad.

[Andrew Santino]

Marcel. Hello. No, we want to say thank you for coming on the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Marcelo]

It always happens like this. The ending, it comes out of nowhere.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it doesn't. Let's check this. You know why you have a special, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Because we want to talk about the real.

[Marcelo]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Your special's coming out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

January 7th. Yeah. It's called American Boy.

[Bobby Lee]

American Boy.

[Andrew Santino]

And the irony of that is staggering.

[Marcelo]

That's what it's for.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I know, I know. He's stepping on our.

[Bobby Lee]

Seen some of it. Not the special, but I've seen something.

[Andrew Santino]

Stand up.

[Producer/Assistant]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Looks great.

[Marcelo]

Thank you, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. We're proud of you.

[Marcelo]

Oh, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He needed that, by the way. Us to say that.

[Marcelo]

I do. I look up to you guys. You got me through the pandy.

[Bobby Lee]

I know we do.

[Andrew Santino]

God bless.

[Bobby Lee]

You're on the rise. Congratulations.

[Andrew Santino]

He's at the top.

[Bobby Lee]

You're at the top.

[Andrew Santino]

It's only down from here.

[Bobby Lee]

It's only down from here. But if, God forbid, you ever go back down. Right, Right. We'll be here.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you can't come back here if you do go down. But we will be. We'll be around.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll be around. We will say hi we'll say hello. Yeah, yeah. At a club, whatever.

[Andrew Santino]

Everybody please watch American Boy. So it's out right now?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Check it out.

[Andrew Santino]

Now. Please go.

[Bobby Lee]

Whatever you're doing right now, watch it now.

[Marcelo]

Thank you for being a bad friend. I.