Shane Gillis Confronts Bobby

Summary

Bad Friends — Ep. 300: Shane Gillis Confronts Bobby

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Guest: Shane Gillis (with appearances by Mark Normand, Ms. Lee—Bobby’s mom, Carlos, and others)
Released: Dec 15, 2025

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Episode Overview

The celebratory 300th episode of Bad Friends brings a chaotic, hilarious, and sometimes touching roundtable featuring Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, and special guest Shane Gillis, along with Mark Normand and Bobby’s mom, Ms. Lee. True to form, the episode centers around irreverent comedy, confessions, a heart-to-heart confrontation between Bobby and Shane, struggles of comedians acting, and plenty of personal stories. The hosts reflect on their history, their friendship, and their journey as comics, mixing crude humor with moments of genuine vulnerability.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

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1. Opening & Welcoming Shane Gillis (00:42 – 02:35)

• The crew excitedly announces their 300th episode, recorded in Phoenix, AZ.
• Santino enthusiastically welcomes Shane Gillis, introducing him as “top dog” and a favorite among comics.
• Immediate playful tension as Santino prompts Bobby to address past mean comments to Shane, referencing a 50-episode-old roast.
• Bobby performs a public apology for calling Shane a “corpse” and admits he felt bad (“I really admire you, and I hope you forgive me.” — Bobby, 04:38).

Notable Quote:

"You want Asian magic? That's Asian magic, dude." — Bobby Lee (01:55)

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2. Shane & Bobby’s Confrontation & Reconciliation (02:57 – 04:49)

• Shane jokes about being hurt by Bobby’s past comments; Bobby makes a sincere, if awkward, apology.
• Santino goads Bobby: “I wanted to make it public on the show.” (03:57)
• Brief, heartfelt back-and-forth as the comics rib one another with affection and self-deprecation.

Notable Quote:

“When I said it, I felt bad… I shouldn’t’ve attacked you in that way. I really admire you, and I hope you forgive me.” — Bobby Lee (04:22)

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3. Rivalry, Success, and the Comedy Grind (04:50 – 06:48)

• Bobby admits envy when friends’ successes are brought up but maintains it comes from insecurity, not resentment.
• Santino teases Bobby about his reaction to Shane’s accomplishments (like headlining at football stadiums).
• Discussion shifts to stand-up venues, jealousy among comics, and the feeling of being “washed up” as younger peers rise.

Notable Quote:

“You’re doing yuck yucks in these smaller places… He’s young and great and you’re old and it’s over.” — Santino (06:01)

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4. Road Stories: Strip Clubs & Airport Outbursts (07:14 – 10:54)

• Bobby recounts wild nights, strip club escapades (“I spent $2700, nothing… No handy. Nothing.” — Bobby, 07:38), and awkward runway stories.
• Frustration at the airport—Bobby refuses to let a late passenger jump the line, confesses feeling guilty.
• More self-deprecation and ribbing by the crew about Bobby’s relatable grumpiness.

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5. Comedians on the Road: Weariness and Hotel Rituals (11:00 – 15:16)

• All guests admit to being exhausted, humorously blaming it on touring and age.
• A candid roundtable: how soon comics masturbate in hotel rooms, the decline of masculinity with age (“Just a Visine drop and that’s it.” — Bobby, 14:37), and the shared misery and rituals of comedian life.
• The group reflects on aging as comics, the oddities of the road, and the changing energy of performance.

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6. Impressions & Comic Mimicry (15:28 – 17:47)

• Mark Normand and Bobby do impressions—of each other and of other comics.
• Normand’s instantly recognizable “I’m gay!” catchphrase makes the rounds.
• Bobby does his “gangster” and “British guy” voices to group laughter.
• The group playfully debates the legacy and status of sketch shows like MADtv versus SNL.

Notable Quote:

“If SNL is Coca Cola, Mad TV was Pepsi.” — Santino (17:27)

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7. Acting as Comedians: Reluctance & Anecdotes (17:48 – 26:38)

• Stories about failed and awkward auditions, with Mark and Shane expressing how unnatural acting feels compared to stand-up.
• Bobby shares a cringeworthy story about a solemn moment in Budapest on a Jamie Lee Curtis set, which he kills with an out-of-place joke about the Holocaust memorial (“It could have been a midget.”)
• Laments about the “cool guy” auditioners who never memorize lines—and always get the part.
• Bobby recalls being intimidated on MADtv and back at the bottom of the ladder when the show ended, despite its now-famous alumni.

Notable Quote:

“There’s certain actors that bring the sides in… and they come out smiling, ‘Thanks a lot, Tim,’ and they love that guy.” — Santino (25:54)

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8. Tires: The Show and Awkward Auditions (31:14 – 38:02)

• Shane offers Bobby a (jokingly racist) role on Tires, which Bobby refuses, not wanting to play a caricatured Asian stereotype.
• The crew makes Bobby audition in real time, leading to awkward, improv’d scenes. The cast tries—and hilariously fails—to coax a “real” performance from Bobby as nerves take over.
• The playful chaos highlights the insecurities comics have about acting and “fitting in” roles vs just being themselves.

Notable Quote:

“Dude, first of all, absolutely nervous right now, dude. I don’t want to do this right now, dude.” — Bobby Lee (36:14)

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9. Family Time: Ms. Lee Joins the Pod (42:16 – 50:52)

• Bobby’s mother, Ms. Lee (“Mom”) enters for a heartfelt, hilarious segment.
• The guys quiz her on love, dating, Koreans, and her life: Ms. Lee is no-nonsense, witty, and warm.
• She discusses Korean War memories as a child (“Dead people on the street. To me, most like games, you know?” — Ms. Lee, 49:55), Japanese occupation, family history, and the differences in generations.
• Santino and Shane pepper her with questions, including whether she’d date a black man or a “round eye.” She reveals her high standards: “Six two, six three.” (43:26)
• The group sings “You Raise Me Up” (60:07), with several laugh-filled false starts and warm encouragement.

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10. Reflections, Gratitude, and Farewell (55:54 – 61:01)

• The crew takes a sentimental turn, expressing gratitude for each other and the listeners at the 300-episode milestone.
• Bobby thanks Santino and his mother for their support and presence.
• The family discusses Bobby’s relationships, preferences (“He likes white girls. He doesn’t go for Korean girls.” — Ms. Lee, 58:45) and celebrates Ms. Lee’s longevity and role in Bobby’s recovery.
• The show closes on a warm, unified note with a (partial) family chorus of “You Raise Me Up.”

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Friendship & Forgiveness:
  “I really admire you, and I hope you forgive me.” — Bobby Lee to Shane Gillis (04:38)

• On Comic Jealousy and Aging:
  “You’re doing yuck yucks in these smaller places… He’s young and great and you’re old and it’s over.” — Santino (06:01)

• On Comic Rituals on the Road:
  “As you get older, you know what comes out? Just a Visine drop and that’s it.” — Bobby Lee (14:37)

• On the Japanese Occupation:
  “We couldn’t eat because they took all our rice to Japan. You don’t take the rice.” — Ms. Lee (51:19)

• On Self-Acceptance:
  “You got brain. Good brain. You respect your mom. That’s a good brain.” — Ms. Lee, to Bobby (59:48)

• On Parental Expectations:
  “Well, you are over 50. I cannot control you.” — Ms. Lee, about Bobby’s dating life (58:26)

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Episode Highlights by Timestamp

• 00:42: 300th episode kick-off, introducing Phoenix and Shane Gillis
• 03:02: Bobby’s public apology to Shane for an old roast
• 06:01: Santino’s roast of Bobby’s jealousy/insecurity about career progress
• 07:38: Bobby’s $2700 strip club story and existential crisis
• 14:37: Aging, masculinity, and bodily betrayals
• 17:27: The MADtv vs SNL comparison
• 23:14: Bobby’s infamous Holocaust memorial joke tale
• 36:14: Bobby’s nervous breakdown during “Tires” live audition
• 43:26: Ms. Lee jokes about dating a much younger, tall man
• 60:07: Family singalong, “You Raise Me Up”

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Tone, Style, and Energy

The entire episode is a rollicking, unfiltered, and openly vulnerable conversation. Roast jokes and comic bits come layered with real admissions of regret, insecurity, and affection. Family humor and generational contrasts take on rare depth with the appearance of Ms. Lee, whose stark, honest memories of war and immigration add surprising perspective and emotion to the comic mayhem.

The camaraderie and chemistry among the comics is never more evident, especially in moments of mutual support, contrition, and loving mockery. The crew oscillates between crudeness, sincerity, and complete absurdity—all wrapped in the unique, fast-paced, and uproarious style Bad Friends fans cherish.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect showcase for what makes Bad Friends unique—intimate, raucous, at times deeply personal, and always unpredictable. Newcomers will come away with a sense of the real friendships behind the wild personas, as well as the hard-won lessons, neuroses, and love shared among top-tier comics.

Don't miss: The live, painfully awkward “Tires” audition debate (35:01–38:06), and the entire extended segment with Ms. Lee, which blends heart, history, and humor in a way only Bad Friends can.

Transcript

[A]

Close your eyes.

[B]

Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry.

[C]

That I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

They're so fast.

[D]

And breathe.

[A]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[C]

Namaste.

[B]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts.

[C]

You two are bad friends.

[B]

Who are these two idiots?

[A]

You two are disgusting.

[D]

You two or something.

[B]

We're bad friends.

[C]

Hey, bad friends. Welcome back to our 300th episode. We're so excited to be here. We're in.

[A]

So excited.

[C]

Phoenix, Arizona.

[A]

Yeah. O E N I X Phoenix, Arizona.

[C]

This will probably be the last episode.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I'm just getting warmed up, guy.

[C]

Yeah, dude, you are. You're warm. And our guest today. Go ahead and introduce our guest.

[A]

Well, he's one of my favorites, man. Yeah. Yeah, man. Shane Gillis. Dude talk. Top. Top dog.

[C]

Top dog. Top dog.

[A]

Yeah. Buddies, you know, and we're, you know.

[C]

Let's start it off the right way.

[A]

What?

[C]

Do you want to say anything to Shane after, you know, about 50 episodes ago or something? You just changed pretty hard.

[A]

No, I didn't.

[C]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

That's insane.

[D]

You did so.

[E]

It was really hurtful.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so what did I say?

[E]

Do you remember I looked like I was a corpse?

[A]

Bogwater. Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Which, you know, you're not.

[C]

You were wrong.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I know, but. And I hurt you. And, you know, my bad, dude. That's okay. And it's like, you know, to me, I look like I'm right next to you at the bong.

[C]

Don't do that.

[A]

Look, I did that with my mind, dude.

[C]

That's pretty good.

[A]

You know what I mean? You want Asian magic? That's Asian magic, dude.

[C]

Telepathy.

[A]

Bob Dylan's here. Guys.

[C]

Get in here. Bob Dylan.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay. Here we go. Hang tight. All right.

[E]

Oh, thanks, man.

[D]

Hey, how you doing?

[E]

Got a show tonight.

[D]

Is that Akash's wife?

[E]

Take it easy on that.

[D]

Sorry. Consuming a lot of that content.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you liking all that stuff?

[D]

Oh, my God. I'm jerking off. I got no back here.

[C]

You got no back, bud.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Damn.

[A]

You want backing?

[D]

I got it.

[A]

All right.

[C]

What's up, buddy?

[D]

Oh, I'm hungover. We. We did it up last night.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

What happened down in Tucson?

[E]

We had a show. In Tucson.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

What happened? I heard you got here. You're calling out the driver, huh?

[E]

Oh, he was dropping bombs, his pants.

[D]

Farting up a storm. So, like New Jersey in there.

[E]

Yeah, it was rough. Then we're getting out of the car, and he goes, yes. See you later, Robert, with your nasty, rotten ass.

[D]

He was a bad driver, too.

[E]

He was a terrible job.

[C]

I just want to go back a little bit. Back to your apology to Shane. Because I do want to make it public on the show.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

My feelings, man.

[A]

Okay. Can I. I'll be honest with you. Okay. You want to get real.

[E]

I don't know.

[D]

I don't.

[A]

Hey, honcho. You want to get real, amigo?

[E]

No.

[A]

Yeah, I'll get real.

[C]

When he goes Spanish, he means it. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. All right. Los pantalones, my amigo.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

That's where I just ate.

[A]

I admire you.

[E]

That's worse. No, that's way worse. Keep talking. I'd rather you. I'd rather you be me.

[A]

Give me a shot, amigo. All right. All right. So let's be real for a second, okay? Yeah. And don't interrupt. You don't interrupt me, dude, because that's rude.

[D]

Keep talking like that, I'm gonna call ice, all right.

[A]

I'm not that type.

[C]

No.

[D]

Take Asians.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, they do.

[D]

Oh, yeah, they take Asians.

[C]

They take them off.

[A]

Please don't call then.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

All right, So I love you. So You've been so nice to me, and I think we're. We're friends, and I, you know, you look at me in the eyes, fool.

[E]

All right.

[D]

All right. I can't find them.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All right.

[A]

That was a good one. 1980. I love it.

[D]

That's my whole act.

[A]

Yeah, I love you too, bud.

[D]

All right, get back to him.

[A]

All right. And when I said it, I felt bad. When you texted me, it was a threat. Yeah, we're done or whatever. You're mean. I felt bad about it, dude. I thought about it, and I'm like, I shouldn't attacked you in that way. And I. I really admire you, and I hope you forgive me.

[E]

I totally forgive.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[E]

I forgave you.

[A]

Good with that now.

[C]

I didn't need you to do that. I thought that was wild that you did that. Kind of want set you up to do that. That was really cool to do that.

[A]

I love.

[E]

I love you. I love you.

[A]

I love you.

[C]

How about, though, when I do say something? What about when I say something about Shane? And I'll go, like when I said, oh, yeah, and Shane's playing Lincoln Financial. The football. The football stadium. And then what do you say?

[A]

That's great.

[E]

No, no, I know you said something nasty.

[C]

He go, I don't want to hear about. Shane's not the king. He's not the king. Oh, that's what he says.

[A]

I did not say that. That's outrageous.

[C]

We have a whole room of people.

[A]

That are absolutely outrageous.

[C]

Is that true? Is that true that he says that stuff? It is true. Thank you.

[D]

The man who is the king.

[A]

Honestly, I have a slap. You know what I mean? I said that.

[C]

You did.

[E]

All right, all right.

[A]

Because here's here. Can I tell you why?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Because he, he's like. Because I didn't want you. You feel bad. I feel like when you say it. What?

[C]

I feel bad.

[A]

Yeah, because you're doing yuck yucks in these smaller places. You're doing these like, you know, wise guys. You know, this is a great club.

[C]

You know you were you just at that club last week.

[A]

I played in two weeks.

[C]

Yeah, so what are you talking about?

[A]

Yeah, but you know what I mean.

[C]

Don't step on me. I say it as a celebration of our.

[A]

Of the people as well.

[C]

No, you don't like it because you're 54, you're old and you think that's we. That he's young and great and you're old and it's over.

[A]

He's one of the best comics on planet earth. I've never.

[C]

You say that cuz he's here, but not when he's not here.

[D]

Who are you?

[A]

Slam. What the are you doing, guy?

[D]

By the way, we're good. Kevin Hart did the the field Eagles and he only did 53k. I think you're going to go for the 70.

[E]

I'm. Yeah, I'm going to do the middle. The middle stage. I'm going to do the round.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[D]

So you can fit more people.

[E]

I just, I think doing a stage in a giant place really sucks.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Like they. The whole time I'm up there, I just see someone in the balcony in the back. Oh, that must be the worst show.

[D]

Yeah, sure.

[E]

Possible.

[D]

You got to go around.

[E]

I mean a football stadium is not going to be the best comedy anyway.

[D]

No, but it's a milestone.

[A]

It's going to be great.

[C]

What's that for you?

[D]

Huh?

[C]

What's that for you?

[D]

What do you mean what's that?

[C]

What is that for you like that? What would that be for you?

[D]

I'm confused.

[E]

Like Philly doing the football stadium.

[D]

Oh geez. I guess the Superdome.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That's our big spot, you know, New Orleans.

[C]

But would that be what you'd want to do or.

[D]

No, no, no. You know, we got the Sanger Theater, which is like our Carnegie hall, so that would be cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I was a little rude today at the airport, that's all.

[C]

And what happened?

[A]

You know, we're going back to that now.

[C]

What happened?

[A]

You know how we segue back into, like, the thing, you know? Well, you know, I haven't slept in a couple days.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Vegas.

[D]

Oh, yeah. You relapse?

[A]

No.

[D]

Hookers.

[A]

I went to Hustler Tuesday night.

[D]

Oh, yeah? How much you spend?

[A]

2700.

[D]

That's not bad.

[C]

What'd you get for 2700?

[A]

Nothing.

[D]

Handy.

[A]

No handy. Nothing.

[D]

Come on.

[A]

Yeah, well, the thing is, is that I was wearing these pants that you don't like.

[C]

I don't like them.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And she was doing. You know how she had a bony ass and she was on what? I was very erect, and she was doing one of those things.

[E]

It's good.

[A]

Excuse me?

[E]

It's good. You were correct.

[A]

Yeah. No pill.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah. El natural.

[D]

Well done.

[E]

Taking a blue Jew to go to a strip club.

[A]

But she was, you know, with her bony ass. Right. She was getting rubber rug burns on my pee pee.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And so. And then at the end, she squeezed it. I don't know why she did that at the end.

[D]

She was looking for.

[A]

Dude, it's. It's bigger than you think.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

Yeah, it is, right?

[C]

Yeah. Bigger than people think, for sure.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

It doesn't mean anything, but. Yeah.

[A]

You know what? I'm almost at a point right now, dude, that if she leaves, I'll pull it out.

[D]

Oh, get out of here, Beck.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Jules. She's like my daughter. So, anyway.

[D]

Oh, anyway.

[A]

Can we talk about. I don't forget. I'm not talking about it now.

[D]

Talk about it.

[A]

Too much time.

[C]

Now Talk about it.

[A]

It wasn't even that great.

[D]

Are you talking about the D.C. bomber?

[A]

So good.

[D]

What are you talking about?

[A]

I have no idea.

[D]

Don't bring up some more drama.

[A]

Emotional. No, I was just rude today, that's all.

[C]

I think. What did you do?

[A]

Well, so I was in line and it wasn't moving. You know how that happens. Sure. Not moving at all.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't have TSA Pre check.

[C]

Yeah. Which is what? Insane.

[E]

I'm with you. I don't either.

[A]

I don't have any.

[C]

Clear.

[E]

I did.

[A]

Clear.

[E]

Okay, Clear is useless now.

[D]

It is.

[A]

It wasn't moving. It wasn't moving. Then I hear some Indian dude.

[E]

This.

[D]

Right, Go ahead.

[C]

What did he sound like?

[A]

He had a regular American accent.

[C]

Oh, okay, good. Then why was he an Indian guy?

[A]

I can smell him.

[E]

Don't point at me. I'm not with you on that.

[D]

That's appalling.

[A]

But anyway, so I can hear him like 20 people back.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Going up to people going, hey, I'm late for my flight. Can I go ahead of you? You know, and people are like, yeah, go ahead. Right?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I couldn't wait for mine.

[E]

Really hit him with no.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Because I was late. Yeah, yeah, I was late. They were boarding while I was still in line, right. So he comes up to me and he goes, hey. I go, no, no.

[C]

You. You didn't even let him get it out.

[A]

I didn't let him get it out. I couldn't wait. I waited 20 minutes to get it out.

[C]

Did you just stand behind it?

[A]

It was like in the gun. You know what I mean?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So it came out weird. She just wakes back. No, like that. Wow.

[D]

What did he do?

[A]

He goes, okay, sir. And then I kind of turned around. I felt guilty. So I kind of like, you know, my plane's boarding too. So we're all kind of late, you know, because it's like, you know, I had to explain it, right?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So then here's the second route thing I did, dude. Right. I'm on the aisle seat. You know what I mean?

[E]

First class.

[C]

I just wink at me.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Don't do that.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

You're on the aisle seat.

[A]

It was turbulence, huh? Right? Flight attendant did one of these.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Fell down to the ground, Right. And I didn't even move, dude. I did a look, I went, damn, you've changed. Yeah, yeah. It's because when I'm tired, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

[D]

You look tired, but you always do.

[A]

Another 80s Asian thing. I love it.

[D]

I'm trying to bring it back. It's vintage.

[E]

This might be.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I think all four of us are very tired.

[D]

I'm wiped.

[C]

Yeah, I'm exhausted.

[A]

I'm exhausted. Yeah.

[C]

But it's a good thing. This is going to make for a good show tonight. Four tires openers.

[E]

Everyone's going, yeah, exhausted.

[D]

Are you going to whip it out tonight?

[A]

No, I don't. I don't wipe it.

[D]

I can't follow that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I don't whip it out. I. Dude, first. Can I say something right now?

[C]

We got fined. He stopped doing that.

[A]

First of all, I've never whipped. No, yeah.

[E]

I'll get fined a million dollars.

[A]

I've never whipped my penis out on stage ever.

[C]

That's true.

[D]

That's your whole.

[A]

My butthole.

[C]

Butthole.

[D]

Butthole is butthole.

[A]

You know what I mean? But not my. Not Toki the Dum Dum.

[C]

That thing stays. That thing stays. No, we got fined in Vegas.

[A]

That's my penis.

[C]

No, we were Vegas.

[A]

Where were we? Toki the Dum Dum.

[C]

Yeah, we got it fine.

[A]

Yeah, he showed his butthole in high school. I used to call it that.

[C]

Anyway.

[A]

Anyway.

[D]

How do you show a butthole? Do you go all fours right there?

[A]

Like, he does it.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

He does it too.

[C]

But I do it away.

[A]

From me, dude.

[C]

It's Bobby's bit.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That's my closer, dude.

[D]

Anyway, is that a phone you got going there?

[C]

It was an audience member's phone. They were like, can I have a picture with you? And I took a. Took his phone. Took a picture of my butthole.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Give it back to him.

[A]

Have you seen this butthole?

[E]

No.

[A]

It's so nice.

[D]

Is it red like your hair?

[C]

It's pink. Yeah, it's pink.

[A]

It's very pink. I love it. Because a lot of buttholes are brown.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

Guilty.

[A]

Is yours brown?

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Like that Indian guy you turned up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Well, have you seen it? Oh, yeah.

[D]

How?

[C]

Check it out.

[E]

Check it out in the mirror.

[C]

You gotta take a look.

[D]

You ever stood over a mirror? That'll wake you up. Holy.

[E]

Really?

[D]

It's like the seventh circle of hell. It's like the valley of death down there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You lay it down on the ground.

[D]

Lay it down and you squat right over it. You learn who you are.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

That's crazy when you do that.

[D]

Ah, usually around Christmas.

[A]

Yeah. A lot of hair. What's going on there?

[D]

A lot of ball bag. A lot of B hole. A lot of toilet paper.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you shave your. I shave.

[D]

No, you shave or.

[E]

Shane.

[A]

What do you mean? Like, I'll just show you my pubes. No, I mean, just look. Okay. Like, they're trimming.

[D]

C section scar. The belly of a lady with three kids.

[C]

I told her he had, like, a fupa. He's got, like, a little baby fupa.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's kind of cute.

[A]

All right.

[C]

It's a cute little food.

[D]

Trying to lose weight, but all right.

[C]

You're trimming. You're trimming.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You're trimming.

[A]

I Trim. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

That's the first thing that Shane said to you was that you look skinny. That was really nice.

[D]

That was really nice.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

You're trim, Jung Un. That's good. Sleeve all in. Hell, yeah. We're tired. We're gay.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

What's the time? What's the how? How long until. When you walk into the hotel room, until you. Till you jerk off. Immediately.

[D]

Pretty immediate. I get the. The towel down. Go right out with the towel down.

[A]

Why the town?

[D]

I want to look at it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Contrast.

[C]

See this?

[A]

You get spray. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[C]

What do you really think the time is? I think mine was like maybe 15 minutes. Yeah, sure. 15, 20.

[D]

You put it in the corner and.

[C]

Then change the temperature a little bit. Yeah.

[D]

Plug the phone in.

[C]

Put my dopp kit in the bathroom.

[D]

Yep, I do that.

[C]

So there is a step by step.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then finally you look at the bed and you go.

[D]

Okay, now let me ask you this one. You guys ever just shoot it on the carpet?

[E]

No, but nobody else told me they did this and it bothered the fuck out of me.

[C]

Crazy. You do that?

[D]

Me neither. It's freeing.

[C]

You feel like an American. No.

[A]

But as you get older, you know what comes out? Just a Visine drop.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

If you can hear it, this is what it sounds like. And that's it. And there's probably two sperms in there. Half. One of them is probably dead. You know what I mean? But it's like, you know, when you get old, you know what I mean? That's what happened.

[C]

Your sperm comes out with its hands behind his back like an old Asian man.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slowly.

[D]

Sold out.

[A]

Yeah. In a park. Oh, yeah. That's what it does, dude.

[D]

Slurping noodles.

[A]

Because you probably have s. Marshmallow shots, right?

[E]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

What do you mean?

[E]

No, I'm curious as to what you mean.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But do you have a thick load? Like, is it the.

[C]

What? All right, all right, all right, all right. What?

[A]

It's too much.

[D]

All right.

[C]

Too deep.

[A]

My bad.

[C]

Keep it. Keep it up top.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Keep it up top.

[C]

Keep it up top.

[A]

I mean, he's the one that brought up the.

[C]

Yeah, but he did it very elegantly.

[E]

Yeah, you had a little class.

[A]

Oh, mine was too, like, vivid. Oh, my bad. Okay.

[D]

Oh, now we gotta. We gotta squash a beef, you and I. Yeah, all right. You're going mad viral with these impressions.

[C]

I'm trying to steal your act, dude.

[A]

Yeah, it's a good impression.

[D]

It's very good.

[A]

Are you offended by It.

[D]

No, but Nick Mullen and you should have a me off.

[C]

Well, Mullen is good at it.

[D]

Oh, my God, he's killer.

[C]

Let me see if I can go. I'll just copy what you say. Let's see.

[D]

All right, I want to hear. I actually want to hear Mont. I don't know if it's Doc. It's really good.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, you do, Norman.

[A]

Well, I. I do. You do it for. I'll do the third.

[C]

I have to keep hearing him, and then I can do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

[C]

I'm gay.

[A]

Hey, I'm gay.

[D]

This is pretty close.

[A]

This is pretty close.

[E]

That's the one, though.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Hey.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

When you go.

[D]

When you. When you go, I'm gay and look away.

[E]

He's got. He has. I actually asked him to do it at the bar just now. I was like, dude, Norman.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

It's very good.

[C]

Yeah, it does. I. I imagine it would bother you.

[D]

No, I don't care.

[C]

You know what's so funny is that when I first started doing it, it's only because I can't do. I can't do, like, celebrity. I can't do, like, when someone's, like, they do an impression of this famous. I can do people I'm friends with if I can. If I hear it and I go, I think I can reach that in my voice.

[D]

Right?

[C]

And yours is me just going here.

[D]

I just tuck it back here.

[A]

Pretty good.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Bobby's impressions are unmanned. Unmatching.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

What do you do?

[C]

Oh, my God, dude. Do the. Do the gangster.

[A]

What do.

[C]

You're a gangster?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Damn.

[A]

What's up, homie?

[C]

And then do your British guy.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

So good.

[A]

Honestly, My name is Benjamin. Pretty good. Yeah. Eight years on a sketch show, national tv. In your face, dude.

[D]

Damn. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Not snl. I get it. But you know what's so funny? It was on tv.

[E]

No, Mad tv Ruled.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Spears.

[C]

It was pretty good.

[A]

Yeah. Why don't. See, that's what you do.

[C]

No, that's what you do. Well, if snl. If SNL is Coca Cola. Matt. TV was Pepsi.

[D]

It was good.

[C]

It was fine. If someone's like, you want to watch snl? And they're like, is Mad TV okay?

[D]

It's actually Crystal Pepsi, because it's gone.

[C]

Mad TV was very good.

[D]

It was.

[C]

You feel like you were. But you did. You feel like you were in second position?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, that's called ratings.

[C]

No, but I mean, like, didn't you. Didn't you feel like There were weeks where you. You were like, oh, this is. We're. We're a much better show.

[A]

Well, I mean, I knew we weren't, because it's like when Mad TV ended, we ended when Amy Poehler retired from snl. Right. And immediately she's on TV shows. And then I remember waiting in line on these auditions, and I remember running into, like, Ike and Jordan and all these guys and, like, just back in line.

[C]

Look at all the people from that show that are killing, though. Baron Holtz, Huge Keegan and P. And Jordan Peele.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, he was on that. Yeah.

[D]

Dude, I didn't know that.

[C]

They exploded.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Isn't that crazy? And the Kenny Rogers guy. What's his name?

[E]

Will Sass.

[D]

Hilarious.

[C]

There's so many funny people that came from that show, and they just blew up.

[D]

Michael McDonald. No, no, but they, like, blew up huge celebrities.

[A]

Yeah, we were 18th. We were 18th on the variety thing.

[C]

Yeah, but I'm saying, like, those other people.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's. You know what? That's a big deal. Domino's Pizza. Dm. Domino's Pizza. It's my favorite.

[C]

Remember? Do you remember when we were in high school? In high school, and you'd be sitting around, you'd be like, someone gonna get a Domino's? You're like, who's gonna get the Domino's? Yeah, I'll get the Domino's.

[A]

I used to steal money from my dad to get Domino's.

[C]

You did?

[A]

Yeah. Because, you know, I mean, we couldn't. He wouldn't get it, so I would get it.

[C]

Where did your dad hide money?

[A]

What?

[C]

Where did he hide his money?

[A]

In his shoes.

[C]

Money. Shoes.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And I would grab that shoe money, right. And I would buy Domino's.

[C]

Call Domino's up, and it's perfect.

[A]

It's perfect.

[C]

Whether you're by yourself, which I do, or you're with a group of friends, which Bobby loves.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's always good to order community food. It's community food, but it could be you food. Yeah, it's all right.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I've eaten a whole pie. I mean, I've eaten. I think I could eat two.

[A]

You could eat it anywhere. Like, you're in a corporate environment, you know, with the CEO. Let's get some. That one. But then you're a burning man with some hippies.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Right. You share it there. Right.

[C]

Or you're just in the park, dude.

[A]

It's great. And they've stepped up their game. The quality and the level of Pizza.

[C]

Has evolved, Domino's has evolved. So pick up some right now.

[A]

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[A]

Space I you know what? Without therapy and businesses like Talkspace, I don't know how it exists. I don't know how it's so important, an integral part of how I live my life.

[C]

It is true, right?

[A]

Because I've had a lot of trauma growing up, right? And I, you know, I've done emdr, other trauma therapies and you can get it all through talks talkspace.

[C]

Thankfully for Talkspace, it's a it's an in network Talkspace Therapy and psychiatry is covered by most insurers and most insured members pay a copay of zero dollars. Goose egg, baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You can switch providers at no extra cost. Talkspace is affordable even out of pocket. Therapy can be extremely costly if you've ever done it, you know. But the mission of Talkspace to provide quality care that's accessible and affordable whether or not you are insured. And I've been using therapy for a long, long time and I do think it's wonderful. It's great to talk to someone you love and you know. But it's also wonderful to talk to someone you don't know because you can say whatever you want.

[A]

As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talk Space when you go to talk space.combadfriends and enter co promo code SPACE80.

[C]

That's SPACE80. S P, a C80 to match with the licensed therapist today. Go to talkspace.combad friends and enter the promo code SPACE80. Have you been with someone where you, like, think something's going to land and they're like, I don't really like that kind of.

[D]

Oh, story of my life. What, are you kidding?

[E]

A million that I go, oh, my God.

[A]

It's like my Budapest story with the Jamie Lee Curtis.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Do you guys know this story?

[E]

No.

[A]

Whatever.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[E]

That's long.

[C]

I don't wanna just give the abridged version.

[A]

So I'm doing this movie with Jamie Lee Curtis. We're in Budapest and she goes, meet me tomorrow. I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna show you something, some education. So we show up and there's a bunch of actors there. I don't know anybody. And this is like second day there. I don't know anybody. And I also. You're self conscious because you're like, they can see through me. I'm not talented, you know?

[E]

You mean.

[C]

Right?

[A]

These are all. But these are real actors, you know, I don't know how I got this, you know, I mean, I agree. So we probably this. We live by this river. And Jamie. And there was these bronze shoes along the river, right? And there's like this theatrical, like Broadway star, Cheyenne Jackson. He's like this gay guy and he's like super talented. He can sing, dance, all that stuff, right?

[C]

He's gay. So that.

[A]

And okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Jamie goes, But during the 1940s, Nazis occupation of Hungary, they light up all these shoes and they shot them on the river and they pushed them into the river, right? And that's why we have these bronze, right? You know, I mean, shoes on the riverbanks, right? And the Cheyenne Jackson goes. He starts crying and he goes, oh, my God.

[E]

A little kid was shot here.

[A]

Because look at these baby shoes. And I don't know what came over me, but I go, it could have been a mitt. He all walked away from me, right? And I sat there staring at these shoes going, I think I'm fucking done. I think they're gonna fire me.

[C]

That's the end of the business.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And that's why Borderlands did bad. You think so that's why that movie tanked. It ruined the entire vibe of the film.

[A]

But, you know, as a comic, were there comics there if you guys were there? Yeah.

[C]

It would have been fair.

[A]

We would have line, but a bit. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, you know, actors are just so sensitive.

[D]

They're the worst. I hate hanging out with them. They suck. They're not fun.

[C]

How long did you. Did you try to get on anything?

[D]

I've auditioned for 9,000 things. I've never gotten one. Not one.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Really.

[D]

Gone in the room, done the self tape. I've gotten teachers and coaches.

[C]

The eye contact and maybe it's the icon. I said that to Shade at the bar.

[E]

Hey, don't do that.

[C]

I was like, you nor Norman. Can't hold it. It's like a dog. You got to look away. I stare at you long enough.

[D]

Can't do it.

[C]

So, like, take off your glasses, look at me for a second.

[D]

Come on, do it.

[A]

Let's do a little acting scene here.

[C]

Let's see it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Come on and try.

[A]

Yeah. All right. Look at Andrew.

[C]

He can't do it.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

You can't do it.

[D]

It's too intense.

[C]

You.

[A]

You've never. You've never been in on anything.

[D]

Not a thing.

[C]

You've done yourself on late night and stuff like that.

[D]

I've done Lee. I've done stand up.

[A]

But as an actor, you've never been in anything.

[D]

Zilch. I was in Horace and Pete.

[E]

Oh.

[D]

Which. Which Louis saw me do a set. He was like, you're weird. You want to do the show? And I was like, okay, yeah, it was awesome. But if you watch it, I am clearly the worst thing in it.

[E]

The auditions are impossible.

[A]

Impossible.

[E]

I try.

[A]

I did like three.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

And they were just. I. I auditioned for Joker to film that. O' Connor just filmed me on his phone in my kitchen in Queens. And I was like, fake smoking a cigarette. I was like, what are these doing? My line is just a racist.

[D]

You're better off not getting that movie sucked.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

And then. I didn't know you had to memorize the lines.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

No auditions and just read it. Yeah, Just read the fudgeing script.

[D]

It's a lot of work.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

People do, though. That's the thing. There's certain, like, actors that can just get away with. They'll bring the sides in if they're. If they're like, attitude is. Is matches their talent. They don't give a fuck if they read off the line. That always. I memorized everything I ever went out for, like, everything. All the thousands of things I never got. I would sit up all night, memorize it. Then I would see, like, cool Guy walk in with the sides, and they'd come out smiling like, thanks a lot, Tim. And they love that guy.

[E]

Well, I thought I could do that. I could not. I was nervous.

[D]

Mom's spaghetti.

[A]

Like, John Cho would be like, you know. I mean, we'd be on set about the film, and he's like, reading it. I go, what are you doing? He's like, I'm memorizing it now. Whoa. Because when did you memorize yours? Three weeks ago.

[C]

Yeah, every day.

[A]

Every day, 24 hours a day, just laying in bed, saying it.

[C]

Like, I was on the flight back to Chicago, and who did I sit next to?

[A]

Who?

[C]

You remember, I called you. And he goes, hey, man, say hi to your Bobby buddy, Bobby Lee for me. And I said, oh, yeah, for sure. And he goes, tell him I'm sorry. And he was super genuine. And I was like, sorry. I mean, I'm going to. All right, I'll tell him you said something. Then I called you immediately and I.

[A]

Said, I remember that.

[C]

Why is he saying sorry? Yeah, we don't have to say his name.

[A]

It was my first acting job. Right. And I didn't know what a jib was. I don't know anything about the terminology, of course. Right. And there was this thing where the camera goes into my face, and I kind of would move my head back because I got scared. And then I could say a line, and I just couldn't do it, you know? I mean. Yeah, it was just, like, too much for me, you know? I mean, and the line was complicated, whatever, but, you know, they cut the line, whatever. It's not necessary. And at the end of the day, I walked up to him and I go, hey, Mr. Will, thank you for the job. You know, I mean. And he had a cigar, and he ash it in my face. Yeah, yeah. And I walked away. Yeah. And he turned right, crying. Dude. I used to have directors go, get on your embark.

[C]

No way.

[A]

Yeah. In the 90s. Yeah. Hey, hey. Get on your.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

The good old days, man. We could have relived.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, you know, I mean, back in the day, they were mean.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

These traumatic experiences.

[E]

But the term. You're right about the terminology, that I have no idea.

[A]

I don't act.

[E]

And then I did a movie, and the guy, he's yelling to find the lens. He's like, look at the lens. Find the lens.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

I'm staring directly into the.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

First three days, anytime I was talking, I'm looking directly down the barrel of the lens and Then there's so many scenes that are ruined.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And then on the fourth day, he says, again, find the lens. And I'm like, you don't mean, like, look into the camera? And he was like, no.

[A]

All right.

[E]

Like, started a scene.

[D]

And I was just like, so what is.

[E]

We're not gonna be able to use anything?

[A]

Because we don't. We. I didn't take a class.

[D]

Right.

[A]

One day, they're just like, do you want to be in this?

[E]

That's crazy. You never did.

[A]

You know what? And you show up and like, I can't do it.

[D]

Yeah. That's scary. I was in Trainwreck, and Apatow directs, so he's like one of these riff guys. Like, change it. Make it your own. Do it again. So you have to, like, think of stuff on the fly. And he walked over to me. He's like, he's supposed to be funny. Like, I'm asking you to be funny. And I was like, oh. And I was trying to be funny.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. And then I got cut. Hey. I was trying to be.

[C]

No, you know, it is. It's. It's also painful when it's someone that, like, I got one little tiny line in a Christopher Guest show, you know, that's. Yeah. And he's phenomenal. Everything he's done. But the audition was incredible, and I did great. And I thought, this is awesome, because we just improv in the audition, me and him. And then on the day I'm supposed to die, I'm a Confederate soldier that gets shot. And we did the scene, and he was like, is that how you would die? And I was like, fuck, I don't know how to die. And I kept thinking about, like, how to die. And then I got more and more nervous. Bronger did that with me, and he's standing next to me. And then Matt was like, what are you gonna do now? I was like, I don't fucking know. So then every time it came up, I got so nervous. I got so freaked out that. But the end, what ended up happening is he was like, you're supposed to be a man who thinks he's a Confederate soldier. Would you over dramatize it a little bit? I was like, maybe.

[A]

Tell me what to do, dude. Yeah.

[C]

He leaves you a little breadcrumb, he wants you to get there. Which is kind of rad. But then. Then at one take, I thought it'd be funny to just be, like, obnoxious. So I get shot and I go. And that's the one they use.

[E]

That's Great.

[C]

Because at that point I was like, well, I did everything I thought I should have done. Obviously he doesn't care anymore. Maybe he's gonna cut away from me anyway. So I did it. And that's on the show. I slowly fall going. And I was like, why would he. But that's why. Why he did it. To be like, do something else.

[D]

Be funny.

[C]

It's. It's. But it's hard to. Because it's either they're being. They're being like really harsh or they're like, I'm trying to trick your brain into doing something else. Not.

[E]

Well. The worst is trying to improv and they're just like, cut like McKeever when we're doing tires. A lot of it we're around and just trying to find something funny. And like, you're like, I think I gotta just hear someone just cut middle of the joke.

[A]

You're like, yeah, but you don't get nervous on tires.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

Show. So you must feel comfortable.

[C]

And you're.

[D]

You on the show.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

That's nice.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

That's. That's where you want to get to.

[D]

I mean, just be yourself.

[A]

That's the dream.

[C]

Is anybody not them on the show? I'm trying to think. No, but like, Kayla's a Kyle's kyos. Yeah, but she. But that's still a play out of like a. A little.

[A]

A little.

[C]

Really?

[E]

Yeah. She's never acted or done comedy or anything. We were just.

[C]

I thought she didn't. She. I thought she acted.

[E]

No, she's just like, you be yourself.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

That work.

[C]

So nobody. That's nobody.

[A]

No one.

[D]

Stavros a little, is like a mean guy.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

He acts like he likes Mom Donnie. He's been doing that.

[D]

Well. He wants that free grocery store.

[C]

We got a guy in our crew that you have to do us one little favor at some point is let Carlos is a big. Is a massive fan. And take off your hat so you can see. You think that guy couldn't work in a mechanical.

[D]

Holy hell. That scared the out of me.

[C]

We think you need to put him just walking through the background of tires at the shop because he's a mechanic. I mean, that's a born mechanic right there, brother.

[A]

I'm.

[E]

I'm balding. And I keep saying I'm going to be man enough to not fix it. Damn.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wild. I respect it. Yeah.

[C]

You know how. You know how women have that thing about like the hat. The hat game? Guys that are like, what are they without the hat? Put the hat Back on.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Look at how handsome this man is with a hat. It's unbelievable.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, that is the greatest chameleon I've ever seen in my life.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

You look like movie director without the hat.

[C]

Your.

[D]

Your bus station. Yeah.

[E]

Child porn director.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And I know, Shane, that you offered me a roll and tires.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And I didn't do it because I just. At that time, I didn't want to do an Asian accent, but now I'm doing Asian accents again. So if you want, you know, I.

[C]

Mean, hey, let me do his Asian accent. I do it on this thing all the time.

[A]

I mean, if there was ever a part in there, you know, I mean, I do it for free.

[C]

No, don't give him anything.

[E]

I think your character was gonna have a American accent.

[A]

Boo.

[E]

It was gonna be. You were gonna be the interpreter for an Asian tire company.

[A]

That's not what my agent said. My agent said that you're doing. You have a thick Asian accent. We.

[E]

It's fluid. We'll finish the script. Day of.

[C]

This guy's got such a good team. They're always keeping him abreast on everything.

[A]

They're the worst. They're the worst.

[C]

He's a business manager. That's 105. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.

[D]

In high school, dude.

[C]

He is. He. I'll call that guy sometimes. I'm like, hey, we need to put money in the account so we can.

[D]

For our tour.

[C]

And he's like, we'll get around to it. I'm like, no, we need it, like, now.

[A]

He also does Stevie Wonder's manager and stuff. Like, you know, I mean, he does other people.

[C]

He does not do Stevie Wonder.

[A]

His manager. Not Stevie Wonder. Just the manager. Very.

[C]

All right, so get. Let's get. Shane will give you a new part. Let's. Can you. Let's see you do a scene then to. To pitch yourself to Shane.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[C]

What are you doing?

[D]

Everybody play themselves, and you crash more car than any other.

[C]

That's good.

[E]

I had no idea you were foreign.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

[C]

Well, he's an American citizen now. We got to naturalize this past year.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So back off, ice. Yeah, give him. Go ahead. Let's hear it. Here you go. Just give it to Bob.

[D]

Oh, are we.

[A]

Are you being real?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

That's your audition for tires. Who?

[A]

All right. Are you being real, dude? What part am I playing?

[E]

It's called Ching Chong Bing ball. You'll be playing.

[C]

Yeah, I'll be o'.

[E]

Connor.

[D]

I'll be the lady.

[C]

Yeah, I'm going to be o'.

[D]

Connor.

[C]

All right, here we go. Let's do it. Go ahead.

[A]

All right.

[E]

Hey, you're finally back. Where'd you go? Your car's ready.

[A]

We were watching the Penn State game at the diner. Very good playing.

[C]

Cut, cut, cut.

[E]

It's not gay.

[C]

Who's that voice?

[E]

Yeah, I'm sucking up.

[A]

I was playing a character.

[D]

Just be you.

[E]

Yeah, be you.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Little more sucking up to Shane.

[A]

I know I was. I had made it to, you know.

[C]

What you did at the beginning of the podcast?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Just do that here.

[A]

All right.

[C]

You ready?

[A]

Can I just. I need to resolve this. What are you doing, guy?

[C]

Just giving you. I'm trying to get you the show.

[A]

I know, but you're making it really uncomfortable.

[C]

I just want to get you on.

[A]

The show, you know? Listen, dude. All right. I was just kidding.

[C]

It's so funny to be like, I have an aside with someone, but in front of the people. Okay, come on.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Get on the show.

[A]

Don't interrupt me, though.

[C]

You got it? I won't.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, sorry about that.

[E]

Hey, you're finally back. Where'd you go? Your car is ready.

[A]

We were watching the Penn State game at the diner.

[C]

Same place. That's the exact same voice that you did before. You didn't even change it a little bit.

[A]

All right, well, I'll just do it like this. The way I'm talking now.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

Hey, a little bit.

[C]

Come on, man.

[A]

You're making me nervous.

[C]

What?

[A]

Dude, first of all, absolutely nervous right now, dude.

[C]

No. Why?

[A]

I don't want to do this right now, dude.

[E]

I actually.

[A]

I'm drowning.

[E]

I don't like trying to read.

[A]

Yeah, dude, I'm drowning right now, dude. I feel like I'm sweating.

[C]

You're gonna kill it.

[A]

No, I'm not kidding. I'm drowning, dude.

[D]

Come on.

[C]

So good.

[E]

All right.

[D]

Acting so.

[A]

Come on.

[E]

Getting better.

[A]

Take it.

[C]

It is getting a little bit better.

[E]

Do it.

[C]

Do it. Do it in my.

[A]

Norman. Hello? No, I can't do it anyway. Go.

[C]

Hey.

[E]

Hey. You're finally back. Where'd you go? Your car's ready.

[A]

We were watching the Penn State game at the diner. Very good. Playing.

[E]

Do you like what they they play on Saturdays?

[A]

Oh, must have been a rerun.

[E]

All right, anyway, your car's ready. Here's the total. Cash or card, $840.

[A]

I only got one tire.

[D]

Now we're getting somewhere.

[E]

Good. I recommend you get three more since one won't Solve your hydroplaning problem.

[A]

Why is it so expensive? Dude, is that your daughter?

[C]

Yeah, I'm his American daughter.

[E]

Don't worry, we're not ice. You guys love that ice jug.

[D]

That's the guy.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, yeah. We're that cheap.

[D]

Who's Cal?

[C]

You. You just did it.

[D]

Oh, I thought it was Will.

[C]

Yeah, you're doing both.

[D]

Okay, great. That's the guy. You're sick, dude.

[E]

Can you ask your American daughter to step away, sir? Let's have a private conversation.

[A]

You're scaring me, guys. What's going on?

[E]

You didn't do the Korean.

[C]

Bobby speaks in Korean, clicks his tongue at Jules.

[A]

Okay, I don't know. I don't know how to say this in Korean. You're scaring me, guys. Is that Korean?

[C]

Yeah. I don't think you got the show. I don't think you got it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Who wrote this, by the way?

[A]

You did. Carlos.

[C]

Really good stuff.

[E]

That's good.

[C]

Carlos is a screenwriter.

[D]

Oh, no.

[E]

It was good.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Former Avatar writer assistant.

[D]

Was he hard to work with? Thank you.

[A]

Who's that? My mom's here.

[D]

Oh, my. My mom.

[A]

My mom's here.

[D]

Dude, she looks younger than you.

[A]

Mom. Oh, my God, Mom. You do.

[D]

What's going on?

[A]

Mom?

[E]

Who's the lucky guy?

[C]

Hymns.

[A]

You know what, Carlos? We gotta get you hims, dude.

[C]

We gotta get you some hands, dude.

[D]

Holy hell.

[E]

Damn.

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[A]

Rich wallet. Oh, God, I love those things.

[C]

These things are so great. And here's why I love these things. Now they're slim and sleek. Your big bulky wallet that you got in your pocket, Castanza, get it out of there.

[A]

Right.

[C]

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[A]

You know what I like? It's made with premium materials like aluminum, titanium and carbon fiber. Holds up to 12 cars plus cash.

[C]

That's right. It's. It's amazing. Also, it's got RFID blocking technology. People cannot steal your information off of your cards that sit inside of here. And it is incredible.

[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[C]

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[A]

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[D]

Should we bang a gong or anything? Should we bow? Hold up.

[E]

Nice to meet you.

[B]

Nice to meet you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

Mark, my friend Mark.

[B]

Hi, Mark.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lee.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Why? Cuz dad died. Dad died?

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah, you were there. We were there. Remember? That was a bad day.

[D]

You ever thought about it? Remarrying? Getting back on the horse?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. No. Did you ever have any fantasies after dad died with other men or. No. Okay. Why can we up front? Like.

[C]

Yeah, when we were growing up.

[A]

When I was growing up, right. I would tell her everything.

[B]

Too old.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I don't like old men.

[A]

Okay, you're like a pts.

[B]

Younger. Yeah, but they're not gonna go out with it means.

[E]

How about 37?

[B]

That's a 2 old.

[D]

20.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Get Mom.

[C]

What do you. But what. How about like height? You want. Do they have to be tall? Do they have to be tall and big?

[D]

Tall, tall, tall.

[C]

Got to be tall.

[A]

Tall like how tall?

[B]

Six, two, six, three, Right.

[E]

Remember those nasty things you said about me?

[C]

It's all come crashing down now.

[E]

I'm 20 and I'm good.

[C]

Good.

[B]

20 and 16.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Are you staying at the hotel? Are you staying here?

[B]

I better.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

She can.

[E]

You want to go to the president's suite?

[A]

What are you doing?

[D]

He can fix that throat.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my mom. You know what I mean?

[D]

Little throat coat.

[B]

You speak Korean there?

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Oh, you do? Yeah. Have you seen his SNL audition?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Pull it up.

[C]

How.

[B]

How you say how I love you in Korean?

[D]

I think he says neuter.

[E]

How do I say it?

[B]

How you say I love you in Korean.

[E]

I don't know how racist. I. I don't want to actually do it.

[A]

No, my mom can take it.

[E]

Okay. The way you say I love you in Korean is. Oh, man.

[A]

Love you long time.

[D]

There it is.

[B]

Long time.

[C]

No, long time.

[A]

No, I'm sorry. Yes.

[C]

That sounds like the same. That sounds like the same rhythm when you walk in a sushi joint. You know when they. When they say. It's the same thing.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

I love you. That means I love you, city fish.

[D]

Are you okay with the white man, the round eye? Or do you prefer.

[B]

No problem with me?

[C]

No Problem.

[D]

What's that?

[B]

Golden metal colors.

[D]

Oh, really? Even black?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Whoa. You better watch out, Bobby.

[B]

Spanish. You know Spanish?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, did you ever date a black guy? You know, did you ever date a black guy? Or a Spanish man? Did you ever date a Spanish man?

[A]

No.

[B]

No.

[A]

No. You have.

[C]

No.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

It sounds like a little family secret's about to come out.

[B]

That's dreaming.

[C]

Dreaming.

[A]

I think. You've only been. You've only been with dad, right? Yeah.

[C]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Did you get work done on your face?

[C]

Huh?

[A]

Did you get any Botox or anything?

[B]

Are you kidding? You didn't give me money for that.

[C]

You gotta pay for it, buddy.

[A]

You look great.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

82. What do you expect?

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

82, dude.

[D]

Amazing.

[B]

Yeah. I'm gonna live up to 100.

[A]

I hope so, Mom. I hope so.

[B]

No, me.

[A]

No, I want you to.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You won't. No. No.

[B]

She wins 90.

[A]

You think I'll die in 90?

[B]

100.

[A]

You want to go 100?

[C]

Yeah, but how old will he? He'll be 90 when he dies.

[B]

No, he gonna be 100, too.

[A]

Wow. Oh.

[B]

In our DNA, so.

[A]

Oh. We have long livers.

[B]

My father live up to 96 years.

[A]

Yeah, but. But not on Dad's side of the family. They die early. Yeah.

[B]

You are my line.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

You're such a nice mom.

[D]

She's cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

She put me through three rehabs.

[D]

Three rehabs?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

Remember the rehabs?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Remember?

[D]

Oh, damn.

[E]

Those are good.

[A]

The good old days. Yeah. But, you know, I'm sober now again.

[B]

Yeah. For what? For what? Drinking?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't smoke.

[A]

No, I'm saying I'm sober.

[C]

You are?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know how long, but almost four years again.

[A]

Four years, almost again.

[B]

How can you say it was four years?

[A]

I relapse every time. Every four years.

[C]

It does feel like four years. Yeah.

[A]

Every four years I've relapsed. Yeah.

[C]

It's almost time. The witching hour.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's coming.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you think I will?

[C]

I hope not.

[E]

I'd like to be around there for that. I'll see that. Oh, really?

[C]

Please, God, don't.

[A]

Yeah, tell them what I'm like.

[C]

It's really not fun.

[A]

Were you really.

[E]

Were you sober when you drove me home from that comedy club that time?

[A]

I don't think I was. I don't think I was.

[E]

Because we drove for, like, three hours.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think I was.

[E]

And I didn't want to say Anything? Yeah, just miss every exit on the gps.

[D]

That's the Asian.

[E]

I know. I couldn't tell. And then. Oh, yeah, no, you were definitely not sober because you were like, we better hurry. Hurry up and get home because these bills are about to kick in. Did you know your mom was coming?

[A]

No.

[E]

We should have told you.

[A]

No, you know what?

[C]

No, you should have told.

[A]

Yeah, it was a good surprise.

[C]

Got it.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

I seen that so many times.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What?

[C]

He does it all the time.

[D]

He loves it.

[C]

Yeah. Once it starts there. Plotting our demise.

[A]

Yeah. You smell it, Mom?

[B]

I have a nose like a dog. I can smell, you know.

[D]

Yeah, that was. That was for your dad. That was one for the dad.

[A]

That was Rapa.

[D]

Yeah. What's his name? Rick shaw. All right, 319. That makes sense because you'd have to have the lead.

[E]

That's great.

[D]

We're having a good time, Mom.

[A]

What have you been doing, though? What have you been doing with yourself?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, A lot of things.

[A]

Like tell me.

[B]

I do. I iPad all day. I have two of this.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You have two iPads.

[B]

IPad, yeah. Yeah, because one you bought for me. One Steven ball for me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

See, that's all it take me all day.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

IPad queen. She loves the iPad.

[B]

Like, I play, you know, games.

[A]

Solitaire.

[B]

Solitaire and war.

[D]

The game, you know, War game.

[A]

War game.

[D]

Well, Korean War.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No English.

[B]

Well, I don't talk.

[A]

Well, tell us about the Korean War. You were a kid, right, during the Korean War?

[B]

Seven.

[A]

Seven. Whoa. What was the worst thing you saw at the Korean. Which is fun, you know.

[B]

Dead people on the street.

[A]

What?

[B]

Dead people on the street.

[A]

On the street.

[B]

We live by the mountain, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

A lot of people, you know, on the mountain.

[A]

Yeah. Dead mountain people, huh? Yeah, yeah.

[D]

It's like la.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And did you. Would you poke their bodies? And what'd you do?

[D]

You stole the shoes.

[A]

What'd you do? I mean, when you walk by.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I should. I have to. I don't have to poke them.

[A]

Oh, was it scary?

[B]

Because I was so young, you know?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

To me, most like games, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't have a bad memory about world.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

So how'd you get out?

[B]

I never fight with them.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

You know.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

So it invaded to start in the west and South.

[A]

Yeah, we know how it went. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

You don't.

[A]

Do you like North Koreans?

[B]

I. I don't have a reason to hate them.

[A]

Yeah. Good answer, Mom.

[B]

Except, you know, politics. But they are same People.

[A]

They are the same people.

[B]

Tastes the same. They look the same.

[A]

You love all Asians. You love all Asians.

[E]

No, not the Japanese.

[A]

Not the Japanese.

[B]

I love, you know.

[A]

What did the Japanese do to us?

[B]

They conquered. I mean, they.

[A]

Occupied.

[B]

Occupied. 40 years.

[A]

They're mean.

[B]

No, 37 years.

[A]

Yeah, 37 years. You know what dad told me once?

[B]

We couldn't eat because they took all our rice to Japan.

[A]

You don't take the rice. You don't take the rice. Yeah.

[C]

That's why we, you know, take everything, leave.

[B]

The rice was so short that time. The Korean is the tallest one in Asia. But then during that time, we couldn't eat. There's, like, a shrink. Then after Korean War, they grow up. So now they are kind of average.

[C]

Like.

[D]

Five, seven, baby.

[A]

You think I'm average? I think I'm small.

[B]

Average.

[A]

You think I'm average for being Korean? I don't think so. In your family, in the Lee family, wherever, I'm average. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I am. No, Eddie, my cousin. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what dad said once. You know what dad said once about the Japanese? Long time ago. Long time ago. They used to tell us Korean by ankle with a rope. Right. Hang on upside down.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, okay, dad.

[B]

And they took out the nail, right?

[A]

And then he said, is that why.

[D]

You guys own those salons? Is that how it started?

[A]

All right.

[C]

It's a good question.

[E]

It's actually a fair question.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

It's actually maybe true.

[A]

And he said, they used to dunk us in boiling water. Yeah. So you. You'd plop in a layer of skin. You know what I mean? And then eventually you would die. But I was 8 years old when.

[B]

Dad told me that, like, experts from. They put this. You know, experience, you know what, like, Jewish.

[D]

Oh, the tattoo.

[A]

Oh, the tattoo.

[B]

The chemical things.

[A]

Oh, the chemical things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

Japan.

[B]

I think that the people, they don't know.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

It's the military. The military. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

That's why we had to drop a bomb on them twice.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because.

[B]

Yeah, he just.

[A]

We dropped the bomb on them twice.

[B]

Oh, twice.

[A]

Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

[B]

Once.

[A]

No, twice.

[E]

I think one would be enough.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

They didn't learn.

[E]

What for again.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I think we did drop one.

[B]

They did it to.

[D]

They started it.

[A]

They started it, those bastards. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, they gonna hate me.

[A]

You know who.

[B]

I cannot go Japan anymore. If you say one thing like that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You cannot go to Japan.

[A]

Shane Any questions about my mom or.

[E]

No, no.

[A]

Well, you're nervous.

[E]

Do you know who? Do you know.

[B]

Don't tell me. Any question?

[E]

Yeah, you like Dennis Rodman?

[B]

That's your name?

[E]

No. Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

Yeah. You play with the Bulls?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

[C]

Who's that guy that knocked up your mom? Dennis. He's selling out arenas all over the.

[D]

Country, doing stand up.

[C]

Yeah, it's wild.

[A]

Mom. He's the biggest comedian on Earth. Planet Earth.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I'm sorry, I don't watch it.

[E]

That's okay. Yeah, yeah, He's. He's.

[B]

What's his name?

[A]

Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis. Saying yes, exactly.

[E]

Shane Gillis.

[A]

Yeah. Shane.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's harder than my name.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

What's your name?

[A]

That's what.

[E]

I guess. Hold on. What is it?

[C]

Better remember that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You gotta remember that.

[A]

I can't.

[D]

We'll.

[C]

It do.

[A]

We'll.

[C]

We thank the boys so we can get. They can rest and get ready for the show, and then we'll finish with the family.

[E]

Okay, great.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Thank you so much. Thank you, guys.

[C]

I love you guys. All right.

[A]

Welcome to Bad Friends 300th episode.

[C]

Today we have Jewels, Rudy, Jewels, Juliana.

[A]

And then we got my mom and Ms. Lee. Miss.

[D]

Ms. Lee's here.

[A]

My mom and. Wow. Let's. Let's go around the room. What we're grateful for.

[C]

Oh, yeah. That's what we do at 300.

[A]

All right, well, you want to start?

[C]

Yeah. What are you grateful for?

[A]

Yeah, I'm grateful for you. I really. I really am. Honestly, I do. I am grateful for you.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

I think that we. We have a good thing going here.

[C]

We got a good thing going.

[A]

And I'm really blessed.

[C]

You are. You're very. We're very.

[A]

I'm also grateful for my mom still being alive.

[C]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

And looking so good at 82.

[C]

That's 25 more years.

[A]

Yeah. She's a great mother. And she. She can still count, which is amazing. She can still count, which is amazing.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's kind of you guys thing.

[A]

Do you know the ABCs? Exactly. And that's what's good about that, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because she knew what I said.

[C]

She did. She does. She doesn't.

[A]

She doesn't want to share it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

She want to brag. And so I'm grateful for my mom. You know what I mean? She has her Dora the Explorer haircut, which is pretty cool.

[C]

I like it.

[A]

Yeah. So pretty. Yeah. Did you dye it? What's going on with your hair?

[C]

Mom, today we're gonna be Korean. I like your hair. It looks really nice.

[B]

Yeah, Very nice to have a little bit. Bridge.

[A]

Yeah. Jules is growing up, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Your hair's gotten so long, too.

[A]

You're long.

[C]

Are you gonna keep it going? How long? Down. Like, down to the floor.

[B]

But why?

[A]

You think that looks good? Maybe you look like.

[C]

Is that a thing in Filipino culture to have really long hair? Yeah, like, girls always have really long hair.

[A]

Yeah, you have, like, a share thing going on. Remember?

[C]

Share. Share. Yeah. Remember Cher? She's not dead.

[A]

You remember Cher? No. She's still alive.

[D]

Do you believe that?

[C]

What, Bono's alive?

[A]

No, no. Sonny Bono.

[C]

Oh, remember a tree killed him?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

A tree killed Sonny Bono. A tree.

[C]

He was skiing.

[A]

He was skiing and it.

[D]

You know, he had a tree.

[A]

He had a tree and he died.

[C]

Which, if you've ever gone skiing, is pretty hard to do. Like hit a tree and die.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because it's easier to avoid him if you've skied before.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, right?

[C]

Wasn't he, like, a good skier?

[A]

Probably not.

[D]

Burn.

[A]

Burn. Real burn. Mom, I've been seeing a girl for eight months.

[E]

It's.

[A]

Never mind. No, she's not Korean. No.

[E]

Very sweet.

[A]

She's white.

[C]

Pretty. She's white, though.

[B]

I know, but.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, you are over 50. I. I cannot control you.

[C]

What kind of girl do you want him to be with?

[B]

I'm not gonna say it.

[C]

You know. Say it.

[B]

You're never gonna have one.

[A]

No. A Korean girl. You want a Korean girl? They don't like me, Mom.

[C]

Yeah, they do. You don't try.

[A]

I try all the time.

[C]

You don't try with Korean girls.

[A]

Korean girls don't like me.

[C]

He likes white girls. He doesn't go for Korean girls.

[A]

I.

[C]

No.

[A]

I like a lot of Korean girls, dude. They don't like me. They think I'm bigishiro.

[C]

What does that mean?

[A]

Hideous Ugly.

[C]

Yeah, I got it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You just look like me.

[A]

No, no, I look like dad. Dad was pigashiro.

[B]

No.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You're the pretty one. And, mom, look, that Steve looks like you. And everyone goes, I look like dad. And dad was ugly.

[C]

He wasn't ugly. You have your mom's.

[A]

I have your humor.

[C]

Yeah, he has your brains. And your heart. And your heart. And he's got his father's body.

[B]

He knows about me.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

See, I can feel it.

[A]

Steve's a lot more like dad. Steve is our brother. My brother.

[B]

Dad is a very smart man. I mean, street smart, you know?

[A]

Yeah, street smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like you.

[A]

I'm street smart.

[D]

No, I know I'm not.

[B]

You are brain in my family. Okay.

[A]

What?

[B]

You got brain.

[A]

I got a brain.

[B]

Good brain.

[A]

Good brain.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You respect your mom. That's a good brain.

[D]

Well, yeah, that you have to do.

[A]

Yeah, I respect my mom.

[C]

You better.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you sing, Mom? I don't. I never heard you sing. Growing up. Going out, like, sing. Do you sing?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Nobody likes me singing.

[C]

No, I want to hear.

[A]

I want to hear some singing.

[B]

So I sing all by myself because I want to, you know. Don't forget the. In the lyrics. And Korean and English.

[C]

Will you sing? Will you sing right now?

[B]

Raising me up. No, I'm not gonna.

[C]

Please. Raise me up.

[B]

You raise me up.

[C]

You raise me up.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

I. I don't. I don't remember.

[A]

You don't like it?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

You raise me up So I can stop.

[C]

She got the wrong one.

[B]

You raised me up.

[C]

Yeah. You raised me up. Okay. Okay. Let's go. Ready? We tried. I tried.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Take two. When I am down and oh, my soul so weary when troubles come. What is the first one? Is this by Josh Groban? The one you have over there? We go. Ready?

[D]

You raise me up So I can stand on mountains. You raise me up to walk on stormy seas. I am strong when I am on your shoulders.

[A]

You raise me up to more than I can be. Yeah.

[C]

Thank you. Bad friends for 300 episodes. We love you. I hope we do 300 more. Maybe more than that. We really appreciate the fans. We love you guys so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being. Thank you.

[A]

And Doug, here we have the Limu.

[C]

Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual.

[A]

Fascinating.

[C]

It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug Limu. Is that guy with the binoculars watching?

[A]

Watching us?

[C]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[A]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[C]

Liberty. Liberty Savings.

[A]

Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.