Barely Famous Podcast: Angel Mama ft. Heather Lohmeyer
Release Date: April 25, 2025

Introduction

In this deeply moving episode of Barely Famous, host Kail Lowry engages in a heartfelt conversation with Heather Lohmeyer. Heather opens up about her profound journey through infant loss, the subsequent challenges she and her husband faced, and the unwavering support that helped them navigate their grief. This episode serves as a beacon of hope and understanding for listeners who may be experiencing similar struggles.

Heather’s Background and Introduction to Kail

Heather and Kail begin by expressing mutual appreciation and support for each other's work. Kail acknowledges Heather's long-time support across various platforms, fostering a warm and welcoming atmosphere for the conversation.

Notable Quote:
Heather: "You guys have really helped change my life, and we'll talk about that a little bit today." [02:15]

The Heartbreaking Loss of McKinsley

Heather recounts the devastating experience of losing her first child, McKinsley, highlighting the circumstances that led to the stillbirth. At 38 weeks gestation during a severe snowstorm in Kansas, Heather missed her weekly ultrasound, which was not perceived as a significant issue until she failed to feel McKinsley kicking.

Notable Quotes:
Heather: "I didn't feel McKinsley kicking, and so I thought that that was a little odd." [04:00]
Kail: "You sort of still don't have answers..." [09:18]

Heather describes the traumatic moments upon discovering there was no heartbeat, the emotional turmoil, and the distressing hospital procedures that followed, including the decision not to perform a C-section despite McKinsley being in a transverse position.

Emotional and Psychological Impact

The conversation delves into the intense grief and guilt Heather felt post-loss. She discusses the emptiness of planning a funeral immediately after childbirth and the confusion of connecting life and death moments.

Notable Quote:
Heather: "Our bodies are supposed to be able to give children life. And so when my body didn't do that, it was just really confusing." [10:26]

Heather also shares her struggles with traumatic hallucinations and visions of McKinsley, illustrating the profound psychological impact of her loss.

Coping Mechanisms and Support Systems

Heather and Kail explore the different ways Heather and her husband, Ben, coped with their grief. While Heather sought support through community groups like the Kitty Gang and eventually entered a treatment facility, Ben turned to alcohol as a means of coping, leading to significant personal challenges.

Notable Quotes:
Heather: "I think the feelings are mutual. So I think I can speak for the entire team when I say that we are so thankful for you." [02:36]
Kail: "I think that you do that. I don't even think that it's... Just you sharing your story and coming on here is paying it forward." [47:32]

Heather emphasizes the importance of community support, highlighting how the Kitty Gang provided critical emotional and financial assistance during her darkest times.

Healing and Moving Forward

The episode transitions to Heather and Ben's path to healing. Ben acknowledges hitting rock bottom before committing to sobriety, and Heather expresses immense pride in his recovery journey. Together, they celebrate three years of Ben's sobriety and his active role in supporting others in recovery.

Notable Quote:
Heather: "I think it was there a little bit before. It got much worse after I lost McKinsley." [39:53]

Heather discusses how therapy helped her understand her need for control as a manifestation of her grief and how this realization has been pivotal in her healing process.

Embracing a New Beginning: Welcome Brody

Heather shares the joyous arrival of her second child, Brody, contrasting it with the sorrow of losing McKinsley. She explains the challenges of pregnancy after loss, including heightened anxiety and rigorous medical monitoring to ensure Brody's well-being.

Notable Quotes:
Heather: "I always say, McKinsey will always be my daughter. But how I say it to people is I say I have one angel baby and one earthly baby." [33:56]
Kail: "I have really, really conflicting feelings on them, too." [50:57]

Heather emphasizes the importance of open conversations about infant loss and the need for greater awareness and support for grieving parents.

Supporting Others and Building Community

Heather underscores the significance of sharing her story to help other parents navigate similar tragedies. She highlights the resources and support systems available through the Kitty Gang and organizations like Bridget's Cradles, which provide handmade cradles and memory keepsakes to families experiencing stillbirths.

Notable Quote:
Heather: "It did change my life. To answer the second part of your question, I know I went a little long on that." [48:36]

Kail and Heather stress the importance of community solidarity and the role of support groups in the healing process, encouraging listeners to reach out and share their experiences.

Conclusion and Resources

As the episode concludes, Kail and Heather discuss the availability of various resources for those affected by infant loss. They mention Bridget's Cradles, Ashley Oberger's faith-based podcast "Cradled in Hope," and other supportive communities that offer solace and understanding.

Notable Quote:
Heather: "You can find me in any podcast group that has to do with Kale Lowry. So Coffee Convo's podcast group on Facebook." [63:05]

Kail assures listeners that all shared resources will be available in the episode's description, providing easy access to support for anyone in need.

Key Takeaways

• Understanding Infant Loss: Heather’s story sheds light on the often-overlooked journey of coping with stillbirth and infant loss, emphasizing the need for greater awareness and support.

• Importance of Support Systems: The episode highlights the critical role of community groups like the Kitty Gang in providing emotional and financial support during times of grief.

• Coping with Grief Differently: Heather and Kail discuss how individuals cope with loss in unique ways, underscoring the importance of empathy and understanding within relationships.

• Healing and Moving Forward: The conversation illustrates the path to healing through therapy, sobriety, and the support of loved ones, offering hope to those navigating similar experiences.

• Sharing Stories to Help Others: Heather’s openness in sharing her story serves as inspiration for others to speak out and seek support, fostering a community of understanding and healing.

Resources Mentioned

• Kitty Gang: A supportive community group for individuals dealing with various personal challenges.
• Bridget's Cradles: bridgetscradles.org
  Provides handmade, crocheted cradles to hospitals for families experiencing stillbirth.
• Cradled in Hope Podcast: Hosted by Ashley Oberger, offering faith-based support for grieving parents.
• Heather’s Social Media: Available through the Kitty Gang and associated podcast groups.

Listeners are encouraged to reach out and utilize these resources for support and community connection.

This episode of Barely Famous offers a raw and authentic exploration of Heather Lohmeyer’s journey through unimaginable loss, the struggle for healing, and the strength found in community support. It underscores the importance of sharing stories to foster understanding and provide solace to those who need it most.