Breaking Cycles in Real Time with The Dude Dads

Summary

Barely Famous — "Breaking Cycles in Real Time with The Dude Dads"

Host: Kail Lowry
Date: November 14, 2025
Guests: The Dude Dads (two male co-hosts: Jerry and Tom), Kristen (co-host/friend)
Episode Theme:
A raw, unfiltered conversation about breaking generational cycles, navigating complicated family loss, addiction, masculinity, and parenting—all shared with humor, authenticity, and the unmistakable energy of close friends who aren't afraid to say what others won't.

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Episode Overview

This episode of Barely Famous dives deep into what it means to break family cycles while actively experiencing grief and struggle. Kail and guests (the “Dude Dads”) trade intimate stories about parental loss, addiction, trauma, resilience, and how all of it shapes their approaches to fatherhood, adulthood, and self-worth. The episode resonates with dark humor and real vulnerability, unfiltered takes on the experience of losing parents (especially fathers), and the pressure to “keep going” for your own kids. It finishes with discussions about parenting, the importance (and challenge) of keeping traditions alive, and the ways men (and women) step into the provider role, often with little support.

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Key Topics & Insights

1. Delaware School System & Home/Land Updates

[01:40 – 03:20]

• Kail and Jerry discuss property updates, school choice in Delaware, and future plans for building a new home.
• Humorous banter about hunting and sitting on land without clear plans for its use.
• Quote:
  “I will sit on it. Even if I never build on it, I will sit on it forever.” — Kail [03:02]

2. Joining the “Dead Dads Club”: Loss and Complicated Grief

[03:20 – 08:12]

• Kail shares her experience losing her father, whom she barely knew, and the mixed emotions it brings.
• Both Dude Dads have lost their fathers; they empathize, share their own losses, and reflect on how different each experience of loss is.
• Kail speaks about public backlash for only seeking out her father as he was dying—she candidly admits she couldn’t know how she’d feel until that moment arrived.
• Honest discussion about seeking closure and how, even if contact happens late, it can still bring something meaningful.
• Quotes:
  “It doesn't really feel like a loss for me because I didn't know him.” — Kail [03:24]
  “It's a little different for me… I met him once when I was 17 and pregnant, and then again in September.” — Kail [03:24]

3. Reflecting on Parental Legacies

[08:53 – 11:10]

• Kail compares her drive and career hustle to her father’s opposite path—living simply, not capitalizing on life’s opportunities.
• Lighthearted discussion of her dad’s “slamming salmon” during Alaska years, rodeo mishaps, and his blue-collar lifestyle.
• Quote:
  “I never know if everything I’ve built can be taken away from me… It’s interesting to have a parent that's so opposite.” — Kail [09:36]

4. Questions Left Unasked & Different Kinds of Loss

[14:37 – 18:49]

• Jerry admits jealousy that Kail had the opportunity to ask her father questions before he died, something sudden loss doesn’t afford.
• Tom recounts harrowing details of losing both parents to addiction and the trauma of having to “lose them twice”—first to drugs, then to death.
• Quotes:
  “You have to lose them twice. First to the addiction, then to death.” — Tom [16:12]
  “It wasn't about me. It was about my mom at that point.” — Tom [20:06]

5. The Relentlessness of Life After Loss

[21:11 – 23:38]

• Kail and guests talk about the “pressure cooker” feeling—having to keep life moving even during grief, often leading to breakdowns over minor mishaps.
• Both men describe the strange experience of surpassing their fathers’ ages and reflecting on what it means to be “the dad” now.
• Quotes:
  “Life just keeps going… I haven’t had time to grieve, so it comes out in other ways.” — Kail [21:21]
  “I thought I was weird for having that feeling, but you’re not—you’re going to be okay.” — Jerry [49:14]

6. Family Addiction & Breaking Cycles

[23:00 – 26:00+]

• Frank talk about family addiction, boundaries, and the difference between supporting someone and needing to protect yourself/family from ongoing chaos.
• Kail: sometimes cutting off her mother is “easier” than living in a constant state of worry.
• Stories about friends with checkered pasts (Crazy Dan, Glow Skulls), crime, and insurance fraud—grim humor about the outrageous things people experience.

7. The Weight of Masculinity & The Provider Role

[47:02 – 48:39; 67:50 – 69:14]

• Discussion around how men often feel pressure to “step up,” take no help, and provide for everyone, especially when the family patriarch dies.
• Jerry and Tom describe the peculiar loneliness of being “the guy everyone depends on, but nobody checks in on.”
• Quotes:
  “Nobody is there to save you… no one’s coming for us.” — Jerry [67:50]
  “You just keep on.” — Kail [69:14]

8. Parenting, Aging, & the Judgment of Mothers

[38:12 – 43:51]

• Kail and the dads address societal judgment around “mommy makeovers,” the limits of “bouncing back” after kids, and why it’s normal and OK to want to look and feel good.
• Generational divides about cosmetic surgery, and real talk about the effects of self-care on confidence and how modeling that for daughters can be positive.
• Quotes:
  “There are things you cannot fix after motherhood with gym or diet or exercise.” — Kail [39:12]
  “It makes me feel like a better mom when I look and feel good about myself.” — Kail [40:53]

9. The Importance of Traditions and Grandparents

[50:09 – 57:53]

• Sadness at kids not meeting their paternal grandfathers and the longing for a sense of lineage.
• Revelations about how certain family members are the glue, and how their loss can end traditions.
• In some families, it's the women who quietly make the family run.
• Quotes:
  “When a certain patriarch is gone, it just stops. I hate it. And it’s why I love Pam’s family and their traditions.” — Jerry [56:50]

10. Surviving Milestone Holidays After Loss

[61:02 – 66:53]

• The hardest “firsts” after a loved one dies, especially around holidays and Father’s/Mother’s day.
• Advice for others facing their first major holiday without their loved one: grieve, but also keep going for those still here—start new traditions, let yourself feel relief if needed, honor both the sadness and the ability to move forward.
• Quotes:
  “You still have to live for them… keep traditions going.” — Jerry [62:44]
  “The world doesn’t care. It keeps going.” — Tom [66:53]

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Notable Memorable Moments

• Tom’s visceral story about finding his dad dead, the surrealness of having to immediately step up, take care of everything, and the callous forward momentum of the world around him.
  “Jumped on Skype… Dad died. He’s in Burma at this point… Open up the door, first thing I see is my dead dad… stepping over my dad to hug my mom…” [18:22 – 20:35]
• Nicknames segment:
  [30:30 – 31:37] Lighthearted speculation on what the guys would nickname Kail (“Crazy Kill,” “Goosey Kail”) and how nicknames have to be “earned” by messing up.
• Debate about 'fetch' and the comeback of rat tails:
  [45:07 – 45:54] Playful banter about children’s hair, 'rat tail' comebacks, and 00s slang.
• Ed Gein docuseries tangent:
  [31:42 – 36:43] A surprisingly compassionate take on a serial killer’s infamous story, mental illness, and how media distorts facts, plus vulnerable admission from Kail about crying during the documentary.

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Standout Quotes & Timestamps

• “You have to lose them twice. First to the addiction, then to death.” — Tom [16:12]
• “Life just keeps going… I haven’t had time to grieve, so it comes out in other ways.” — Kail [21:21]
• “Nobody is there to save you… no one’s coming for us.” — Jerry [67:50]
• “There are things you cannot fix after motherhood with gym or diet or exercise.” — Kail [39:12]
• “Keep traditions going for them… because we’re all gonna experience it at some point.” — Jerry [62:44]
• “If you didn’t call me at my worst, don’t call me at my best either.” — Kail [71:05]

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Major Takeaways

• Loss Is Not Linear: Everyone’s experience of loss—especially with complicated parental relationships—is unique. Grieving late connections, lost opportunities, and even relief are all valid.
• Addiction Compounds Grief: Watching addiction tear apart families creates a “double loss”—of who the person was and then their literal absence.
• Stepping Up is Lonely: Men, especially after losing their fathers, often feel pressure to provide for everyone but rarely have a support system check in on them.
• Traditions Matter: Keeping or creating family rituals after the loss of central figures helps heal and carry on legacy.
• New Cycles: The panel highlights a conscious effort to “break the cycle”—to do better, be more present for their children, to advocate for self-care, and to talk openly about mental health and trauma.

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Final Segment — Resources, Community & Invitations

• Kail encourages listeners to find comfort in common experience and reach out to the Dude Dads podcast for more honest discussion about life’s hardest moments—especially loss, parenting, and the chaotic but rewarding effort to build new traditions.

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Where to Find the Guests

• The Dude Dads Podcast: Available on Spotify, Apple, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube
  “We don’t have a cheesy podcast. We get right to it… real stuff, the stuff you wish people talked about.”

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This episode blends dark humor and real talk, hitting hard on the need for empathy, open dialogue, and giving yourself grace when breaking family cycles and coping with loss—no matter how messy it gets.

Transcript

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[Kristen]

Welcome to the Shit Show. Things are going to get weird.

[Podcast Host]

It's your fave villain, Kale Lowry, and.

[Kristen]

You'Re listening to Barely Famous.

[Podcast Host]

All right, everyone.

[Kristen]

Welcome to Barely Famous podcast. I'm sitting with the dude Dads. Your favorite male co host. Welcome to Barely Famous.

[Guest 1]

That's pretty.

[Guest 2]

Your favorite male co host.

[Guest 1]

That's pretty special. Oh, no. At least I am.

[Kristen]

How are you guys?

[Guest 2]

Amazing.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, amazing.

[Kristen]

How are you?

[Podcast Host]

Blessed.

[Kristen]

I haven't seen you in a long time. I see Jerry almost every morning, but I have not seen you in a long time.

[Guest 1]

I. You know, we graduated, left at school. You know, we. Yeah. See in the morning.

[Kristen]

For anyone listening to this podcast, in Delaware, you can send your kids to any school you want. I think I've talked about it on coffee combos. You can send your kids to any school in Delaware if you're willing to drive them. So my kids keep asking me to be a bus rider and I'm like, when we build a new house, which. Who knows when that's going to happen. Yeah, when we build a new house and you'll be a bus rider.

[Guest 2]

But for now, yeah, is what it is. I actually wrote out to your property yesterday.

[Kristen]

Did you do hunt on it?

[Guest 2]

No, I just wrote out there just to get. Put my eye on it.

[Kristen]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest 2]

See how the beans were doing?

[Kristen]

You know Is it still being farmed? Do we know if that. Okay. Cuz I went out there the one day and I was like, I don't even know if he's doing the farming here anymore.

[Guest 2]

No, it's planted beans. You got a nice neighbor across the street. That little garage house that looks really nice.

[Kristen]

I haven't seen it. I haven't been over there. There's no reason for me to go over there. Cuz we haven't started the build.

[Guest 2]

Brand new, really nice.

[Kristen]

Jerry sold me the land for I.

[Podcast Host]

Whatever I'm.

[Kristen]

If I build on it or not. It's you know, 20. Almost 20 acres. So.

[Guest 2]

I mean 20 acres on that part of Delaware is pretty nice.

[Kristen]

Well, I've had people ask me to buy it from me and I'm not.

[Guest 2]

Don't.

[Kristen]

I will sit on it. Even if I never build on it, I will sit on it forever because.

[Guest 2]

Keep me a place to hunt.

[Kristen]

Yeah, yeah. There's a. There's a stand out there already. So. But so Jerry and I have been going through it a little bit. I entered into the dead dads club as everybody knows. And both of yalls dads are dead boobs.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

It's. It's not a fun place to be on the side.

[Kristen]

It's a little different for me. Like people have said I'm sorry for your loss. And I was telling Kristen yesterday, like it doesn't really feel like a loss for me because I didn't know him. I met him twice. But then you also. Yeah, I met him once when I was 16 and pregnant. I was 17 and pregnant. And then I met him again in September. Those are the only two times I've ever.

[Guest 2]

No other conversations. Not like a phone call, a birthday card.

[Kristen]

I had one phone call before I went to meet him when I was 17, talked to him on the phone and then that was the only phone call we ever had.

[Guest 1]

Did. Did he have like a big change of heart there when he was like. I'm assuming he's like on a deathbed there and just like. Was he like absolutely different than you remember or like attitude different? Like just like.

[Kristen]

It was all the same.

[Guest 1]

Okay.

[Kristen]

It just slower moving. He wasn't even on his deathbed. Like he was doing hospice in home care, but he wasn't like in a bed. Like we sat at the table, he got up to go to the bathroom on his own. Like I thought I had maybe one more visit left with him. But he.

[Guest 1]

And did he reach out to the. Want to say I want to see.

[Kristen]

You or you reached out July, my aunt called me. I was working in New York and she called or she messaged me on Facebook and said, your dad is. Has stage four copd. You know, he's about to start hospice. And that was like the in home care thing. And at that time I was really upset because I was like, oh, like I thought I had more time and I don't think I ever really had plans to talk to him. And so like, all the backlash that I'm getting now is like, you know, why now? Why would you wait until he's dying? Well, I didn't have. I didn't know how I was gonna feel when I found out he was dying. Do you know what I mean? Like, I couldn't have known for the past 10 years that, yes, when he's on his deathbed, I'm gonna want to go talk to him.

[Guest 1]

Do you feel like you learned anything?

[Kristen]

Yeah, I think that I learned way more than I did when. Even if he said everything that he said in that visit in September, even if he told me all of that when I was 17, I don't think that my brain was processing it at 17 years old. So he might have even told me that stuff back then, but I don't.

[Guest 2]

Remember or like you weren't listening.

[Kristen]

Yeah, I wish that my mom would have given me the opportunity to get to know him and form my own opinion. Because even if I decided I didn't like him and I didn't want to go there anymore, that should have been up to me. And that's really all it comes down to. And so I think it doesn't feel like how you guys have talked to me about Yalls dads. Like, it hasn't. It wasn't really like that.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, but you know, you said a second ago you getting backlash, like, why now? And it's because situations like that, you know, someone dying or, you know, either when they die or right before they die, you're not going to be the same person, you know, and it's. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It doesn't mean you're cold or anything like that. Just it brings you kind of to earth and go like, oh, this is real. This is. We're only here for a finite amount of time and. And you're going to think about things differently. That's just human nature. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's not like, oh, well, I'll wait until the end and then I'll care or when somebody dies. Well, you know, not to bring in like my sister to this, but, you know, my sister passed away. All of a sudden all the bad goes away and you are back to what you wanted to get back. Right. And, and it's, it's insane because if you would have said something to me three months ago, I'm like, I don't give a. But it's funny because when like, death happens or you're at the end, all of a sudden some. That probably shouldn't have mattered, it, it, it all goes away, you know, I mean, somebody at my sister's funeral said one of her old friends says, you know what you wanted, you wanted her back. You know, but then with her dying, you kind of got her back because you forget all the bad stuff. That's not what you're focused on. You're focused on everything else before that or what you wanted back. So it's like, in a weird way, you kind of get. Get that like now I'm like, thinking all these great things and seeing the good things. Right. And I think it's the same thing with your dad of like, like, oh, now it's like the end is near. And now you kind of, you know, you look at it differently. You made a little bit of different effort, that sort of thing. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think that's just human nature. You know what I mean?

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

So for people to be judgy, be like, oh, well, you just waited till now, or you're just getting content, like.

[Kristen]

That'S to your point. Like, we are only here for a finite amount of time. Like, I didn't know how it was going to feel if I found out that he was dying. I don't know how I would feel if my, if I found out my mom was dying. Or honestly, she could be dead, I don't know. But just a little trauma dumping this morning. It's okay.

[Guest 1]

Well, so, yeah, I'm proud of you for going out there. I mean, it takes a weak person to blame them and not want to see him. And it takes a stronger person to just go, well, at the end of the day, he's a human. I'm human. Still is my dad. No matter. I mean, at the end of the day, you only get one of them. And it takes a stronger person go out there and have closure.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

No matter how it looks, how whatever it is, but it feel like you have to.

[Kristen]

It felt, I mean, it was, I guess, cathartic. Is that the right Word, like, cathartic. For me, I hope it was for him, too. Like, I hope that he passed away with peace. You know what I mean?

[Guest 2]

When you saying you thought you had more time and then you didn't, I. I think that might have had something to do with it.

[Kristen]

I just thought that. And. And in the moment when I was there, I was, like, still a little frustrated. But then, like, once I came home and slept on it for several days. I felt really good about it, and I was not expecting him to die when he died, like, at all.

[Guest 2]

There was no other conversations after that, no other phone calls.

[Kristen]

He asked me to unblock him on Facebook, which, for the record, he was never blocked, but I added him, and he never accepted my friend request. So now it's just, like, sitting there.

[Guest 1]

Oh, did he tell you, like, what he. You know, his life, like, what he did?

[Podcast Host]

Not really.

[Kristen]

He told me he. He was in the Marines. He told me he lived in Alaska, Hawaii, the Philippines. He went to Japan. So, like, he kind of had, like, a cool life or the opportunity to have a cool life, but he didn't really capitalize on it. Like, he didn't really do much with it, which is kind of sad. And I think that it's interesting because I just am so opposite of that is, like, I never know if everything that I've built can be taken away from me. So I'm always looking for, like, the next thing to do to make sure that I have, like, revenue and just, like, you know, building whatever. And so it's really interesting to have, like, a parent that is so polar opposite of that. I was telling Jerry before, I don't know if you heard me, but he had two bachelor or two associate's degrees. Why not just get one bachelor's degree? And then. So one was in, like, golf course management and hospitality, and then the other one was in, like, it was like, associates of science or something. And I'm like, obviously, you're like, you could have done something. You didn't have to live like this.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, he may have done something. I mean, he may have just lived the life he wanted to live. I mean, did he do the outdoors? He fish. He had. I mean, he never. All those things you say do come responsibilities and come with management and, you know, upkeep. And I understand about the business part. You got to keep growing, or it could get taken from you, you know?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Some people are discontent with that.

[Guest 1]

If he's in Alaska, hit a nice fishing hole, hit slamming some salmon and slamming some salmon.

[Kristen]

I mean, that Wait, you need to put that on merch. You gotta put the. Dude, dad's merch.

[Guest 1]

Slamming salmon, just, like, you know, catching the views and enjoying it, you know?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

So that might have been it. I mean, you said he was, like, in the rodeo, right?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest 2]

He.

[Kristen]

He had lost his teeth bull riding, so that was like. He lived a cool life.

[Guest 1]

He sounded like more of a simple life kind of guy, but I think.

[Kristen]

It was the simple life, but, like, a little bit harder than it needed to be. Yeah, like, choose your hard, you know, work hard to, like, have a little bit of income and, like, live fairly simple or, like, literally do nothing and then be scraping by. Do you know what I mean? Like, I just choose your heart. I don't understand it.

[Guest 1]

Do you think he saw you live vicariously through your success? I was like, well, one of us made it. I'm good, maybe.

[Guest 2]

Did you ask him that? Did you ask him if he. If he. He followed you?

[Kristen]

Yes, and he followed my sister and me, like, through social media and things like that. Like, he knew my oldest son was gay. Asked me how I felt about that. I don't know.

[Guest 1]

Did. Did your dad leave you anything? Did. Do you, like, your sister had me, like, do you even.

[Kristen]

Just literally nothing. He had, like. Tom, when I tell you the trailer. And I haven't even said this on any of the podcasts, like, the trailer was empty.

[Guest 1]

Was he. Was he like, a ranch hand? Like, what did you do for money?

[Kristen]

That. I don't know. I think he said that he was working at, like, a convenience store at one point. Like, and that's. I'm pretty sure he said a convenience store. And that's like, his co worker or someone, like, called the ambulance for him or whatever when he first got diagnosed with copd, but literally had nothing. Like, he didn't. I wanted to see if he had the necklace that he tried sending to me, but I guess, like, all the years of, like, moving and stuff, I don't think he had it.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, well, it seems like, I mean, anything that you can't really answer now, it's not important, you know, I mean, he had his life. You've had your life. And I think just. Just the fact that you got to go there and have the closure, I mean, that's. That was like, the most important thing. What already has already happened was it. That's. That's it. You're trying to find something. You know what I mean? There's nothing to find, really. It's already happened. So I think that meeting that you had was everything.

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[Kristen]

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[Kristen]

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[Guest 2]

And you got to ask questions too. And there's something that, like, you know, with my dad being killed in an accident, like I didn't. I'm a little Jealous of you because you got to ask some questions.

[Kristen]

Would you have wanted to ask your dad?

[Guest 2]

Yeah, if I'm. If I know. Hey, hey, man, like, any day now, you're not going to be here anymore, and then I'd want to hear more stories and ask more questions and, you know, what. What is. What is it like, you know, when I have kids, you know, I was only 22, so there was a lot of that. I didn't know you were a kid. Yeah, yeah. I. I wasn't. I was still living at home, you know, so. So, like, I'm a little jealous that you got to do that, even though, like, mine was a completely different situation. You know what I mean? But it's. There's something good in everything. Yeah, right? There's. There's always something good. You know, Tom. With Tom's dad.

[Guest 1]

Right.

[Guest 2]

He wasn't. That wasn't his dad at the end, but he had however many phenomenal years with him.

[Kristen]

Did you have a good relationship with your dad when he was sober?

[Guest 1]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had a great relationship. I have, like, no bad. And no bad memories of anything. You know, there's like. Like, my dad was still, like, Superman eventually. You watch Superman. Like, I say, watch Superman. Fallout Sky. But like I was describing with Jerry, you know, when people get, you know, grab. You know, get on heroin, it's like you have to lose them twice.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

So you have to watch an adult. Like, you know, I was the only. I think I was, like, getting out of high school, getting into college, and, like, slowly figuring things out, letting the truth unveil itself. Like, all right, they're obviously hurting for money. They're not making good choices. And I think that they're abusing prescription drugs. So eventually, like, okay, they're definitely on heroin. Like, this is unreal. Okay, we've lost the house, and then now we're going out in public with them, and he's trying to fight people in a mall, or he's literally just stealing stuff out of the Wawa.

[Kristen]

How old were you?

[Guest 1]

You know, in my young 20s.

[Kristen]

Oh, so you were, like, an adult, though? Like, I say kid, but.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, like, I was. Like, when they're really trying to figure it out, like, when I was in college.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Like, you know, they were slowly losing stuff. And, like, my brother's going, hey, man. They're, like, not paying the house. They're probably going to lose the house. And they come to visit, you know, Like, I'm like, damn, what the hell? Looks like this. Losing teeth. Like, what are they Doing? Yeah, like, and then just being incoherent. Like, I mean, dude, I would be coming home for the winter or something. I could see my mom just sit on the couch, you know, eyes rolling back her head, like, dozing off.

[Kristen]

Your mom?

[Guest 1]

Yeah. They're both on heroin.

[Kristen]

Oh. Because I'm like, why wasn't your mom saying anything? They were both doing it.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, both. I didn't know she was on it until we were literally hanging out side by side and just, you know, my dad's dead on the floor. And she's like, yeah. You know, I've been on heroin too. I'm like, what the.

[Kristen]

She said it to you? And what did you say?

[Guest 1]

Nothing. I mean, I didn't really. Honestly, I told Jerry the story. I didn't really get a chance to, like, have my own time to console, you know, when you're. When you're. When you have people that are on an addiction, you know, you have to lose them twice. As I told you, you gotta lose them twice. You literally lose the person that, you know they're on drugs, and it just becomes incoherent. Like. Like, what the Is going on? Like. Like, you know, they're calling your friends late night. They're. You're calling you late night and saying weird shit. And then eventually, like, it gets to a point where you're like, all right, we've lost the house. They're in an apartment. Like, there's nothing great is happening. It's eventually, like, the calls come in and, like, all right, man. Like, then you're just kind of waiting. Like, at this point, you're like, there's gonna be a call where one of the. One of them dies. Like, there's gonna be a call. And sure enough, I got the call. It wasn't early enough, and it wasn't late enough. It was like, at the perfect 4:00am I was like, man. I was like, this is it. And when I asked, like, hello, and I heard a pause, I was like, one of them's dead. Like that, Paul. So I just knew right there, like, I heard that pause on the phone. I was like, somebody. I don't know who it is, or somebody's getting the gear up to tell me, you know, drop some bad news on me. It was my mom's, like, your dad's dead.

[Kristen]

I was like, was she sober at that point, or.

[Guest 1]

No, no, she was on here. Oh, she's sober. Like that day? No, she's. No, she was on heroin.

[Kristen]

Is she sober now?

[Guest 1]

She's sober now. Yeah, she's taking this box and all that stuff.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

But I just remember getting that call, and I just. I literally jumped on Skype, hit my brother. He's like, yo, what's happening? I was like, dad died. He's like, the. He's like. He's on. He's in Burma at this point. He's in the hotel time zone. He's actually getting ready to go out. He's like, do what?

[Guest 2]

He's in. He was in Burma.

[Kristen]

Where's that?

[Guest 1]

That's Southeast Asia. Is it Myanmar?

[Kristen]

What?

[Guest 1]

Yeah, overseas. Overseas. He lives. He lives overseas.

[Guest 2]

He lives in Thailand right now.

[Guest 1]

Singapore now.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, Singapore.

[Guest 1]

But so I call him, and then I just. And then I just. I fly up there, and I just remember, like, I open up the door, and they live in the top stairs of this apartment. I go. I walk upstairs, and the first thing I see is my dead dad spread out, you know, literally, like, right next to the stairs. And I, like. My mom comes running up, and I'm like, okay, well, that's. That's for real. That's my dead dad. And I'd, like, no time to take in what's happening. I'm like, all right, well, it's time for my mom like me. This is for my mom. And I. I step over my dead dad to give my mom a hug. I can't believe you got here so fast. And blah, blah. I'm like, okay. And then we just go sit down. I'm just like, what the. Like this. And then we. I must have hung out with dead dad. Probably at least an hour. You know, you can see, like, the. Pretty much the crime scene. And then she's like, I could. I was like, she. I could really use some cigarettes. I'm like, all right, so now I have to. I walk over. Back over fourth, over him several times. I went to Wawa twice.

[Kristen]

Wait, but you were in the vicinity of it. I've never even seen a dead body outside of, like, a viewing.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, yeah. Just chill.

[Kristen]

Were you okay?

[Guest 1]

It wasn't about me. I was just about my mom at that point.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's.

[Guest 1]

You know, so, like, instantly, like that. You just. You're just a man. You're just like, all right, well, thank God he raised a strong son. So I'm like, I'm just here to take care of this moment, get my mom what she needs. I'm just stepping over my dad a few times, you know? I mean, I'm kind of just like, well, there he is. Like, what the. I remember, like, she's like, you gotta call everybody. I was like. I'm like, all right. Getting on the phone. This is why I got mad. Like, call him. Like, hell. My dad's dead. I'm like, oh, my God. So I'm like, you know what? Some of these losers.

[Podcast Host]

What the.

[Kristen]

Yeah, yeah, My dad's dead. Like, you just make these phone calls.

[Guest 2]

I've had to make a lot of those phone calls.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, you gotta make the phone calls. And then eventually, you know, the guy comes to get my dad, and I just sitting as sun is coming up, right? I'm, like, standing there, I'm like. And this guy comes in with two rooks, and I'm like. And he's showing him how to maneuver the body, how to get in a bag. I'm like, these two are. Are just here learning. That's their work. I mean, he's training those guys. I'm like. And the world. The sun's coming up. Like, I'm just like, damn. The world just moves on and take them down. Just. I just watch them stroll out, you know, my dad in the bag. I'm like, that's the last time I'll ever see him.

[Kristen]

It's what you just said. Like, life just goes on. Like, you and I had a conversation at football not that long ago about our family members passing. And I'm just thinking to myself, like, I told my therapist on Wednesday, I said, I have not had time to, like, grieve any of it, because life just goes on. Like, I still have seven kids that need me. I have to figure out custody arrangements. I have. I had court on Monday. Like, I. Life just keeps going, and there is no. And so I was telling my therapist. I was like, it's coming out in different places, right? Like, I. If I spill something now, I'm. It's what could have been. Like, oh, I spilled. That is, like, now a whole meltdown, because I have not had a chance to grieve what everything else that I'm dealing with. You know what I mean? And so it's like a. What is it called? A pressure cooker. So as soon as it just lifts a little bit, it's like, everything rolls out.

[Guest 2]

But the mildest inconvenience. You're crying over spilled milk.

[Kristen]

Literally. Exactly. But I know that your sister passed away recently, too, and similar circumstances.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, we don't. I don't know, 100 yet. They're. The toxicology's got to come back. What her boyfriend is insisting on is that withdrawal is what killed her. Like, the other day, he was Just like I'm telling you, man, you wait till it comes back. You're gonna see like she had a heart attack or something. Like the withdrawal killed her. And like, I've heard like fentanyl withdrawal is, is incredible.

[Kristen]

I think, don't quote me on this, but I believe alcohol withdrawals are the only ones that can kill you.

[Guest 2]

That's why, that's what I've heard. And I've had a budd go through that. The. Another one of my best friends that I lost to alcohol five years ago. That's five years ago next month. I saw him go into the hospital with withdrawal and like the hallucinations and the, and the, the, the crate, like it literally almost killed him. And then he went back to alcohol. And then that eventually, because I think.

[Kristen]

You have to taper off alcohol, like slowly taper off of it when you guys. This goes for both of you have had addiction in your family. Like for my mom, for example, I'm trying to take what I learned from my dad and apply it to my mom in some ways. Like, I had to cut her off because I never wanted to. This is probably awful to say, but like, it was almost easier to like get the call to say that she passed than to have a, an ongoing relationship with her. To constantly be worried because if she's calling me always up, I'm like, okay, like, which call is going to be heard passing away? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, she passed away.

[Guest 2]

You don't have the bandwidth to worry about that.

[Kristen]

No. So like for me it was like, okay, cut her off. And when I get the call, I get the call. But for you, like, you still had a relationship with your dad throughout and obviously your dad wasn't an addict.

[Guest 1]

But yeah, I remember my dad was at the top of the stairs alive, and it was like a few months before and I was like, man, this.

[Guest 2]

Would be a while.

[Guest 1]

I was like, man, I'm about to take an insurance policy on your ass. He's like, yeah, you probably should. I was like, I think that's the last thing I said to him.

[Guest 2]

I have a wild story about that.

[Kristen]

About what? My mom?

[Commercial Announcer]

No.

[Guest 2]

Insurance fraud.

[Kristen]

Oh.

[Guest 2]

It's a real convoluted story. I try to make it as simple as possible. Good friend of mine I've had from high school, we call him Crazy Dan. He's very, he's, he's literally crazy, but he's the best guy ever. I would not want to be on his bad side though, cuz I, I, he could probably kill Someone. But does he.

[Kristen]

Is he gonna hear this side?

[Guest 2]

Probably not. Side. Side note to tell you a little quick story about Crazy Dan. Two things. One time we were in Dewey, hanging out on the balcony of a hotel, and we're staying there, just street drinking, and all of a sudden, he just, like. Just peed. Just, like, pissed.

[Kristen]

Over the balcony.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. I have a picture of him. No, like, just in his pants.

[Podcast Host]

Oh.

[Guest 2]

And I. He. He was in a bain suit, leaning against a rail. I have a picture of him leaning against a railing with a puddle of piss under his feet. Was he drunk? No, he just did it just to be funny. Yeah, he was drunk. But another time, he picked up Mark and my buddy Rob, the one I just talked about, passed away. Picked him up from a bar or something. Dan's like, yeah, go get in the back seat. And this is in probably 2005, 2006. And they get in the back seat, and there's, like, blood all over the floor and, like, 37 pagers.

[Kristen]

What's a pager?

[Guest 2]

A beeper.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, a pager. Yeah.

[Kristen]

No, no. I was. I was. I was around for the era of pagers. I just didn't know if it was something else.

[Guest 2]

But this was still post pager era, but it's built in 2000s.

[Kristen]

Just gotten into high school when you're. You said 2005? Yeah, I was in high school. I was a freshman.

[Guest 2]

So. Yeah, so pagers were big in the 90s, but. But anyway, they get in there like, damn, what the is this? And he's like, oh, don't. Don't worry about that. And just, like, just dismiss the blood stains and the 30 pagers sitting on the floor. Who knows?

[Kristen]

But anyway, 30 pages, like, you robbed someone.

[Guest 1]

This is busy.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, Crazy.

[Kristen]

Just busy.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, good old. Good old crazy. Crazy Dan. Now I forgot where I was going.

[Kristen]

Did you cut him off or something before?

[Guest 2]

No, no insurance. Oh, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Thank you.

[Guest 2]

So one day, Crazy Dan comes over my house years ago. He always has some random friend with him, this guy. Random, Random friend. Don't even know his name. We called him Glow Skulls because he had a shirt on with a bunch of, like, bright green skulls and looked like it would glow in the dark. So we just called him close calls.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Guest 2]

And then all of a sudden, months go by. Dan calls us and goes, yo, remember Glow skulls? I was like, yeah. He was like, he try not to laugh. They're like, he got murdered. It was like, Tennessee. Listen. So he gets. He gets murdered right.

[Podcast Host]

Then.

[Guest 2]

Then fast forward. Oh, yeah, he got shot. Long time Passes.

[Guest 1]

Right.

[Guest 2]

There's a, A. A crime show documentary on whatever. No, some. It was. It was about a person that was taking out insurance on somebody without them knowing and then killing them and, and collecting the, the insurance money. And he was a victim of that.

[Guest 1]

That's wild.

[Guest 2]

No.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

He got. He, he got away with. So he killed him. I think it was. He killed. They killed him, got away with it, got his insurance money and then did it to someone else and got caught. And they trace it back to this guy, killed him for his insurance money.

[Kristen]

I've seen that on like crime show.

[Guest 2]

Like his story was on id.

[Kristen]

Oh my God. I wonder if it's the one that I watched then.

[Guest 2]

Probably was. Then years later, we tied it all together like. Holy. Yes. That was him. They told me he was killing people.

[Kristen]

And got the beepers.

[Guest 2]

It wasn't Dan.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, it wasn't.

[Guest 2]

It wasn't Dan.

[Kristen]

How is Dan? Is he okay?

[Guest 2]

He's. He's medicated.

[Guest 1]

He's okay.

[Kristen]

Okay. Everyone talks about all the sales that.

[Podcast Host]

Go on during the holiday season, but I just want to remind y' all that sleeping during this time is going to be a game changer for the late nights of wrapping, gifts, shopping, holiday lines, all of that. You want to have a good quality sleep at night. Okay. And I'm saying this because I don't want you to forget about the things that we need to sleep in. The sheets, the comforters, the blankets, all the things. And that's why I want to tell you about bowl and branch.

[Kristen]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

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[Guest 1]

All.

[Podcast Host]

I hope you guys keep taking it. And you guys can also, if you haven't taken it yet, take proactive care of your health and head to oh positive.com famous or enter famous at checkout for 25% off your first purchase. That's O.P.O. s I t I b.com/famous for 25% off.

[Kristen]

If you had a nickname for me.

[Podcast Host]

What would it be?

[Kristen]

Because you all have, like, good nicknames for everyone. We got Glow Skulls. We got Crazy Dan. We got, like. What would be my nickname?

[Guest 1]

You know, you just can't. Just can't give out a nickname.

[Kristen]

Why?

[Guest 1]

Nicknames? Nicknames typically come from, like, something you fucked up. Oh, so then, like, you. You like up something like, you know, like, you know, in the locker room, like, we're the boys with football. You something up like, that's typically how you'll find it. Yeah, it's.

[Guest 2]

It's hard to deal on the spot. It would probably be something about having kids and Crazy Kill.

[Kristen]

Crazy Dan and Crazy Kill.

[Guest 2]

Maybe.

[Guest 1]

I don't know. Yeah, well, you gotta let it come now.

[Guest 2]

Maybe something loose. I don't know, because.

[Guest 1]

I don't know.

[Guest 2]

Maybe Goosey Kale. Yeah.

[Kristen]

Damn.

[Guest 2]

For the Record. I don't. I don't believe you're loose. I don't. I don't believe that. I don't believe in that myth of babies and all that. Yeah, I was talking more about the amount of heads that have come out of your body.

[Kristen]

Oh, okay. Well, thanks. That. Because people call me a all the time. I was just wondering.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, like, I would only use with you as a term of endearment.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, thank you.

[Guest 2]

You know, I appreciate that.

[Kristen]

Kristen does the same thing.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah. There's good and bad.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

According to the Ed Gain docu series. It's a Jezebel, dude.

[Guest 2]

It's. It.

[Kristen]

Did you watch it?

[Guest 2]

It's disturbing.

[Kristen]

Did you watch the Ed. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be so real, though. And I haven't talked about the Ed Geen docu series on any other podcast. So, like, I feel like it's a safe space here. I cried in episode seven. I felt really bad for him. None of that was his fault. None of it was like, yes, obviously he killed people, but he didn't even remember killing the people because he was so mentally ill and he gets sick from blood. And like, I get it. He was very mentally ill. I get it. And that's not okay. But there was no resource, like, all of it could have been prevented.

[Guest 1]

When was it?

[Guest 2]

It was in the 40s. Right.

[Kristen]

It was during World War II. Because it was around the same time as the Holocaust.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, I didn't realize.

[Guest 1]

Oh, and I don't even know what we're talking about. Ed Gein, exactly.

[Kristen]

Do you not know who he is? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was based off of Edge Leatherface.

[Guest 2]

There's a bunch. There's a bunch of horror movies that were based off of pieces of him.

[Kristen]

So just to like, summarize it all for you, Ed Gein was. Had a really, really unhealthy relationship with his mom. And she was basically like, don't get married to a woman. There is sin, blah, blah, blah. And like, so he was just eager to please his mom. He wanted to please his mom. His dad was an alcoholic, left the family, whatever. Brother died. Not confirmed whether Ed had anything to do with that, but he was, when his mom died, was so obsessed with trying to bring her back from the dead that he started doing the grave robbing and, like, not killing people. They were already dead. And then he was like, trying to put together like a. Like essentially like a costume of his mom. And then he had not necrophilia. It's not proven that he ever Actually had sex with any corpses, but that he would collect, like, vaginas. Like, he would cut out their vaginas and like, collect them.

[Guest 2]

So he was like, he was.

[Guest 1]

He was into like a distasteful art.

[Kristen]

But it turned out that he, like, they alluded to him possibly having one of the worst cases of schizophrenia.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Because there's a lot of that. That docu series. That's not true.

[Kristen]

Correct.

[Guest 2]

That's like just Hollywood fluff.

[Kristen]

Correct.

[Guest 2]

Because I've seen people that are coming come to his defense.

[Kristen]

Like, I definitely think he.

[Guest 2]

This guy suffered big time. Some of this isn't fair because it's not true.

[Kristen]

I cried in episode seven because I was just like, he really was just dealt an unfair hand. And honestly, they said from everything I've read, not the docu series itself, but from what I've read, he really thrived in the mental institution. They didn't send him to prison. They sent him to, like, ruled him insane. He couldn't stand trial, which I would agree with. But what I read was that he. He was a model patient in the.

[Guest 2]

He was where he's supposed to be.

[Guest 1]

I mean, you're closely advocating for him.

[Podcast Host]

I am.

[Kristen]

And I know that that sounds.

[Guest 1]

You're just crazy. This might go back to the conversation we had off camera.

[Guest 2]

Look at Tom with the Truth series.

[Kristen]

I just feel so bad because I'm like. I've seen the girls that are like my great aunt or my. My third great aunt was one of the people that he dug up and like I. And sympathize. But like, this is someone so deeply disturbed and it was so out of his. His control. His mom was insane.

[Guest 2]

Dude, I. I watched one episode the other night, late night. I don't like watching like that late night before I go to bed. It just.

[Kristen]

I don't want to have night terrors.

[Guest 2]

So you'll appreciate this. What I, what I had to do, I watched an episode, it got done, and I was like, what the man? 10 o'.

[Podcast Host]

Clock.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. I turned on Blue Mountain State. I had to watch Blue Mountain State for a couple episodes to get my mind right. Had to got to get some. Some Fat and Moran in my life.

[Guest 1]

Yes.

[Guest 2]

Oh, God, no.

[Podcast Host]

But you should.

[Kristen]

If you can, like, thug it out. I would definitely try to finish it.

[Guest 2]

I was going to watch it last night, but the kids were in the living room.

[Kristen]

It's long. I mean, it's eight episodes, so it's like really long. But I felt. I hope nobody gets mad at me for feeling bad for Ed Gein. But you're not. I've seen other people and not saying that he. It's okay that he did all of that. He. He just didn't have any recollection of killing the two women because he's like, I'm so squeamish. Like, I don't. Everything that I've read is like, he. It was this possibly the schizophrenia that.

[Guest 2]

Like, yeah, I felt real bad for him in the first episode. I guess these are spoiler alerts, but you've already spoiled enough when. When he. When he killed his brother. And like, that's not real. And then he saw his brother come back, and then the next morning he saw him in the barn. And I was like, damn, man.

[Kristen]

From what I read it, there's no confirmation that he actually did that. Like, there's no confirmation.

[Guest 2]

Hollywood things.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

And they're.

[Guest 1]

They're like, really defending them. Jerry. No, he didn't do that.

[Kristen]

And I. I'm also really mad at the woman. What was her name? In the docu series, Adeline was like his girlfriend. It was like this, like 20 year, like, friendship or whatever that she was hot. Everything that I was reading was saying that. Like, the first, like, real life interview that she did, she said that they had a romantic relationship for 20 years. And then immediately following that interview, she did a second interview. And this is in real life, not in the docu series where she backtracked and said it was only platonic, it was never romantic. But I'm. I'm leaning towards. It was probably a little bit more than you're saying it was. Because if you said that during the first interview, that's probably how you actually. That's the truth. And then the second one was like, oh, I up.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, I don't give a. I don't give a. That stops her toe. You know what I mean?

[Guest 2]

So, man, we are jumping all over the place.

[Kristen]

Oh, that's what.

[Guest 1]

Going back to dead dads, you know, it is.

[Kristen]

To circle it all, to bring it all together. Like, Ed didn't really have a dad either. You know what I mean?

[Guest 1]

Yeah, that's what.

[Guest 2]

And that's the thing. I feel like, I don't know, maybe not so much you. I don't know. But, you know, for Tom and I, like, we had the best dads when we needed them. Right. And that's like my piece. So it's like at 22, his job's done. Like, I missed out on the friendship part. Maybe a little late. Late life advice. But, like, other than that, like, I got. And don't take us the wrong way.

[Kristen]

Don't take anything.

[Guest 2]

I had a phenomenal dad for 22 years. Yeah, you weren't forced enough to have that.

[Kristen]

Right?

[Guest 2]

So, like, I could recognize that and be like, I'm. I'm good, man. Like, I'm. I know some people don't have what I had, so, like, I can't really be upset about that, you know? You know? You know what I mean? Or just like. Or people dying young or getting upset that they get old. Like, yeah, I just turned 45. And some people are like, oh, my God, you're 45. I'm like, some people don't get that. Some people don't get the gift of turning 45. Right. So, like, as you're getting older, people and women are like this a lot. Like, they're upset when they turn 30, 40, 50.

[Kristen]

That's me.

[Guest 2]

Be excited. Because some people aren't blessed to turn 50. Like, and if you get there, like, that's awesome. You know what I mean? And you got. You're. You're gonna have young kids when you're 50, you know, younger. You know what I mean?

[Podcast Host]

Scary.

[Guest 2]

But you have to be happy about.

[Kristen]

Ever plan on turning 50?

[Guest 2]

You 49 and a half forever.

[Kristen]

I will be 30.19. It'll be like 30 period. 19.

[Guest 2]

How old are you right now?

[Kristen]

I'm 33.

[Guest 2]

33. God damn it.

[Kristen]

I know you're old.

[Guest 2]

No, you're not old.

[Kristen]

I have a fear of getting old, not of dying. I don't want to look old. I don't want to feel old. I'm very afraid of that. Maybe it's vain of me, but I don't want to look old or feel old.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Now, you know what's great about that is there's all kinds of medical procedures.

[Kristen]

Yeah. I've had most of them.

[Guest 2]

And that's what we. We talked about this a couple episodes ago on Dude Dads. Like, there's, like, a lot that I don't want to say trending, but a lot of women right now are getting, like, mommy makeovers, as they should, if they want. For sure.

[Kristen]

If they want to feel good. There are certain. There's a whole conversation around plastic surgery and women, especially in moms. It chaps my ass when people are like, stop getting work done. But there. You cannot fix some things that motherhood does to you. You cannot fix that with gym, diet, exercise.

[Guest 2]

You cann taking the words out of my mouth.

[Kristen]

And it's so infuriating because especially, like, I Had the genetic. My dad had it. If you watch anything from my dad like this, like, the. My dad had it, my mom had it. The droopy neck and the jowls. I also had it, my mom had it, my grandma had it. And so, like, that was never going to be fixed if I didn't get surgery. It doesn't matter how much CrossFit I do, no matter how much working out, no matter how many bike rides I do, it was never going to go away.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Stop telling me to stop getting work done. In order for me to feel good about myself, I. This is what I feel. I feel like I have to do it.

[Guest 2]

And. And like, there's a generation pretty much boomers, I think that will, like, judge the younger girls.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Of like, oh, why would you do that to yourself? And, like, because I can. And it makes me happy. It makes me feel good about myself. And you get that back a little bit. Why wouldn't you do that? Pam went through it. I was fully supportive of her getting a mommy makeover. And, like, and all the things she got done is like, okay, the money's not going to change her life and you're going to feel great about yourself. You're still a mom. You still went through all the things, you know, but you don't have to just accept, you know something, you know, I mean, it's. It's no different than getting old men getting older and going on trt. Like, why wouldn't you want it? Like, like hormone therapy. Oh, like, there's no. There's no difference. I mean, you want to age gracefully.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

You have an ability to do it.

[Kristen]

Especially do it just because, like, times have changed too. Like, 50 years ago, there wasn't social media and things like that and, like, events and like, working network things the same way that they are. I mean, there was not. Not the same way. And I just. I don't know, I feel. I personally feel like a better mom when I look good and feel good about myself, because I feel good.

[Podcast Host]

What's softer than cashmere and warmer than wool?

[Kristen]

It's not a riddle.

[Podcast Host]

It's an alpaca hoodie.

[Kristen]

And I had to check it out.

[Podcast Host]

After hearing some of my favorite podcasters talking about paca. For years, I've been on the hunt for that one. Go to natural fiber hoodie that I can always pack. And every now and then you get a piece of clothing that makes you rethink your entire closet. This is going to be it for you. I swear to you. You're gonna Love it. Pakka makes performance apparel from alpaca fiber, one of the world's most sustainable natural fibers, which is really cool. And I had never heard of this before this company. I didn't know that alpacas were known for their sustainable fibers. Okay. Their best selling hoodie is softer than cashmere, warmer than wool, and it's breathable. It's lightweight, but still cozy. It doesn't stretch out, it won't pill, and somehow it keeps you warm when it's cold and cool when it's hot. Okay, you're not going to find another hoodie like this. This hoodie is built for real life. It's thermoregulating, odor resistant, durable, and made to last. Over a hundred thousand people have already picked up the Packa hoodie. What makes it even better, though, is knowing it's made sustainably and ethically from traceable alpaca fiber, while also supporting the communities and artisans in Peru who bring it to life. I absolutely love everything this company stands for. And right now, when you order your pack of hoodie, they'll throw in a free pair of their alpaca crew socks, which might be the only thing better than the hoodie. And I have both. These are seriously next level. And they keep your feet dry, they never smell, and on top of that, they're just insanely soft and cozy. Plus, have you ever heard that socks come with a lifetime guarantee? Paca dares you to wear these out, and if you can, they'll replace them. So if you've been thinking about leveling up your hoodie game or your sock game, this is your sign to do it now to grab your pack of hoodie and free pair of alpaca crew socks. Head to go.pakaapparel.com BarelyFamous and use my code, Barely Famous. That's go.p a k a apparel.com Barely Famous and enter code barely famous.

[Kristen]

I don't know if there's a direct correlation, but, like, I get my daughter ready every single day. Like, I'm doing her hair, I'm getting her ready. Like, I want her to feel good about herself, not because her looks matter, but how she. If she feels good. Like, I tell her, oh, my gosh, you look so beautiful. Like, if she feels good about how she looks, she's gonna feel good about everything she does, I hope.

[Guest 2]

And then know how to like, because, well, you're saying with your daughter now she's 1, 2.

[Kristen]

She's 2.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. And then, like, Charlotte is 12.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

She gets herself ready and she probably loves it. And she looks phenomenal.

[Kristen]

When she gets ready, she probably feels better.

[Guest 2]

She cares. She has her skincare routine at night time. She does. Puts a little band on her head and, you know, does her. Does her stuff. And then in the morning, she's on her own. Yeah, her hair's nice and tight, but.

[Kristen]

She probably feels good.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, but. But it's because she. She was taught that she went through the same stuff when she was a little kid. Like, you're talking about. She sees her mom caring about herself, so she cares about herself, because that does matter.

[Kristen]

But I will say I hope that I could teach my daughter that, like, she's got to still take care of herself. Like, your looks aren't everything. You should still, like, truly take care of yourself.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, there's a. There's a bunch of pieces of all that stuff. Just talking about the physical aspect of, like, just having some effort.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Just putting a little effort in, feeling good about how you look, how you're dressed, whatever. It'll change your. The productivity of your whole day. I feel. No, is it the same for men? Because y' all could just roll out of the bed and look.

[Guest 2]

Jerry don't give a.

[Kristen]

What he wears, but, like, Jerry just gives me, like, badass vibes. Like, he's just such, like, a cool dude. You know what I mean?

[Guest 2]

He's himself, that's for sure.

[Kristen]

But, like, you know, he's, like, hunting, fishing, whatever. Wrestling.

[Guest 2]

He got out of the truck today walking to school, and he puts his, like, pit vipers. Yes, that's it.

[Kristen]

And he just puts them on.

[Guest 2]

He puts them on. He goes, these are my Friday glasses. I wear these every Friday TJIs, like, with his mullet. You know what I mean?

[Kristen]

He has a cool mullet. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

And it's. It's a pain in the ass because it's like. And now I'm back to, like, I'm taking care of Charlotte's hair in the morning. Got, like, to brush his hair.

[Kristen]

Does he let you brush it?

[Guest 2]

He does it himself now.

[Kristen]

Did y' all have mullets growing up?

[Guest 2]

No. I mean, how old are you? I had shaggy hair.

[Guest 1]

I'll be 40 this year.

[Kristen]

Oh, I didn't realize that y'.

[Podcast Host]

All.

[Kristen]

There was such a five years between y'.

[Guest 2]

All. Yep. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just under five years. But I think. Well, obviously Mullers are coming back. I think what I'm gonna do with Jerry when he wants to get rid of it, I'm gonna bring back the rat tail.

[Kristen]

Oh, no. Jerry, That's Where I draw the line. We're not doing the rat tail.

[Guest 2]

Just let him rock it for a couple weeks.

[Kristen]

The kids that grew up having rat tails when I was in elementary school, like, I didn't. Like, it was like, gross. Like, it's so popular.

[Guest 2]

It's like the porn star mustache came back.

[Podcast Host]

Don't.

[Kristen]

No, that's the pedo stash. Or they never came back.

[Guest 2]

The old baseball players.

[Kristen]

They need to stop making fetch happen because it's not cute.

[Guest 2]

Make what happen?

[Kristen]

Fetch.

[Guest 2]

What's, what's fetch? Come on, man. You're talking to. Dude, Dad's here.

[Kristen]

Fetch is. It's like you saying you're gonna bring them.

[Guest 2]

Oh, I get what you're saying, okay.

[Kristen]

You're trying to make something happen that's not gonna happen. The pedo stash is never gonna happen.

[Guest 2]

Peter Stash.

[Kristen]

And then the rat tail is never gonna like that. And it's never going to be.

[Guest 2]

I, I. You will hear it from me first. I bet in 10 years. Ish. The rat tail is going to come back. That's about our cycle. Where we're at with the mullets are popular. The big shaggy hairs popular. Which was in like the late 70s, early 80s. In like early 90s, late 80s, the rat tail was big. I think in about another eight to 10 years, you're going to start seeing some rat tails.

[Kristen]

That's disgusting.

[Guest 1]

I, I have been saying the word fetch for at least, I don't know, I would say the last three years, but I like to. I'm still trying to bring it back from the movie Clueless.

[Kristen]

No, mean girls.

[Guest 2]

Mean girls.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, those mean girls. That's so fetch.

[Kristen]

Yes.

[Guest 1]

So she likes. Don't say that.

[Kristen]

So fat.

[Commercial Announcer]

Go.

[Guest 1]

Anyway, going back to dead dads. Speaking of kids, what happens when your dad dies early? It certainly puts a. It timelines your life. The kids already timeline your life. But when you have a dead dad in there, that I cannot help think more of death, my own death. The time it's going to be. And I always think back, like, where was my parents at at this moment? My age with me, you know? And I try to make sure, like.

[Guest 2]

Oh, yeah, the comparison.

[Guest 1]

I just can't. I cannot that unfortunately, that's probably the only trauma that came, you know, like, that it has seemed to stick is the almost not the fear of death, but like thinking about it probably too much of my, like, because I'm now the dad, you know, for my son and I don't have, you know, a dad. I think, like, I think some People, this is my view of things. Like people that have both their parents, you know, and if their parents are taking care of themselves, they still are the kid. And they kind of don't think about the time that their parents are going to die. And if they have kids, I don't think maybe they don't think about their own death in that way. And like, maybe enjoying the moment as much, thinking about, well, this is. This is age, this is when we should do that. And only 20 years later from now, one of them dies. You know, it's like, this is so, like, you don't even know this moment's really how special it is because there's only so many years later somebody's dying. So I kind of have that in the back of my head. So I think, like, with me having that experience, I'm like, I have these moments where I'm living up. I'm like, I treat a lot more moments like, all right, man, this is like the best. I'm gonna make the most of this because, like, who the knows, you know, at one point I'm gonna have to outlive my dad's age. You know, like, it just. That's probably the only trauma left. As I do think about my death, how it's gonna affect my kids and when is it going to be? And now it's like, I better get in healthy ass shape. Like, I can't die early on them, you know what I mean? So it's like there's a. A different motivation there.

[Guest 2]

I'll tell you what, what else is. My dad was 43 when he died.

[Kristen]

And you've already surpassed that.

[Guest 2]

And I've surpassed it. And leading up to me turning 43, it like with my head a lot. And I thought I was weird. Like, I thought that's. Like, I said it to Pam, I didn't say it to anybody else. And I had it to the day where I was gonna be alive longer than my dad was. Like, it was sometime in like January when I turned, you know, after I turned 43, and it was like the day was coming and I was like, oh, my God. Like, and then the day after, I was like, I'm. I was officially older than my dad was. And it's. And in my head I'm like, I'm still. I'm just a kid. I'm not an adult. I can't. Like, what. He knew everything, kid. Sometimes, all the time. I still feel like me and Mark were talking about this the other day. Like, I got a problem. I. I Call his dad. Because my dad's best friend, my mom's cousin, I call him up because I feel like he's.

[Kristen]

He's more of an adult than you.

[Guest 2]

He's more of an adult. He has to know more than me. I'm. I'm just a dumb. You know, I'm 45, but I'm just like a dumb 20 year old. I don't know. You know, you have all the answers. Not me, but like thinking about my. Wait a minute. My dad was here too. Did he think the same way? And then like, oh my God, am I going to die? Because. And then I was at a wedding one time and I had this end up having this conversation at a bar with. It was actually the, the bride's father, who I didn't even know. And he was like, dude. He said, I went through that too. He's like, you're not weird. He said, no, the same thing. He's like, you're gonna be okay. He's like, my dad, like, his dad died when his dad was 50 and he was like. And I was just. I. I wanted to kick off that age so much because I didn't. I didn't know what was going to happen. And it, like, it makes you think. I don't even know how to explain it. It makes you feel weird though. It makes you feel like I'm not normal thinking like this. But he was like, no, man, you're. That's normal. I promise you, you're gonna be okay.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

That was a cool conversation to have.

[Guest 1]

The other part of that we've talked about this. The other part that sucks about that too is, is for men is the fact that our sons will not get to meet their grandfather. And I feel like, no, you know, no, no diss to the grandfather on the, on the wife's side. But like, this is the male dominant. This is what we are, you know, and if you never get to meet your grandfather, you never really get to meet your dad as much, you know, like, if you get to see the grandfather, you get to see your dad who he was like, you see a lineage there?

[Kristen]

I see what you're saying.

[Guest 1]

And you know, so I, I did not meet my dad's grandfather or dad. I never had a grandfather on my, on my dad's side. And so I only knew my dad and I don't know anything past him. I don't know a lineage, you know, so I'm not going to know that and make. It's not going to know what's on like that sucks. Like, he would have loved. I even talk cancer. Like, you would have loved my d. You know.

[Kristen]

Oh, Candace never. Your wife never met your dad?

[Podcast Host]

No.

[Guest 1]

And I was. Man, you would have loved him. Like, you know, it's just like for him to be here now, like, this is when he was like, most needed. Like, this now would been cool. Like, like he could have seen who and where I come from, you know, seeing that pedigree, you know. You know what, you know, the funniness that, you know, all. All the. Just the. It would help my wife too. She could even see, like, this is. This is where I come from, you know, I mean, like, just to help her kind of understand me more. And. And Jerry and I talked. I brought this question up, you know, is. Is having, you know, having a dad die early and having no sons ever meet their grandfather on their dad's side, does that raise harder men? You know, I don't know. You know, because you're always fighting to, to maybe create some type of pedigree because there's no lineage. Like, that's two decades of no lineage. Like, so, like, yeah, hopefully I'm gonna be the first start of like, I'm gonna be the first grandfather in 100 years. You know, mean, like that we're gonna make this thing happen. That way someone's the male side, like, the male side is sitting there at the table. Whether Thanksgiving, Christmas, there is a. There's. There's a pass off. You know, my son's like, I really like my grandfather. So if I have a grandchild, he's only like, I really love my grandfather. I understand where I come from more.

[Podcast Host]

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[Guest 2]

You should have started earlier.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, yeah, I'll be old.

[Podcast Host]

I love my grand.

[Kristen]

My grandfather died in 2000 2014, but he was. I loved my grandfather.

[Guest 2]

Is this your dad's dad?

[Kristen]

My mom's dad.

[Guest 2]

Okay. Do you ever know your dad's side?

[Kristen]

No.

[Podcast Host]

Both of the.

[Kristen]

Both of his parents were dead, but his dad is not even who he thinks who. When he died, he thought someone was his dad. That is not his dad.

[Guest 2]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Kristen]

Yeah. And my aunt asked me to not tell him. I think for him to die, like thinking whatever he thought is fine.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

That's not important. Right?

[Guest 2]

Was it like adultery or my.

[Kristen]

Who he thought was his dad could not have children. So. And I don't know if it was known that he couldn't have children, but basically my grandmother went, was like, my husband can't have children, can you please knock me up kind of deal. And then went back to her husband.

[Guest 2]

I would like to have that job.

[Kristen]

Would you just like, procreate all over the place?

[Guest 2]

I might, I might.

[Kristen]

I'm like seriously considering it.

[Guest 2]

I remember I joked with a friend of ours. I won't mention her name because she probably does listen to this. All she wanted was have a baby.

[Kristen]

And you thought about it.

[Guest 2]

And I was like. And I made a joke. Like, I mean, I'll. I'll be that guy for you if you want. And Pam's like, you're. You're snipped, Jerry. I'm like, don't tell her.

[Kristen]

Yeah, but you can go, oh.

[Guest 2]

Don'T tell her that. I don't know what's going on, but.

[Kristen]

You can still go get like, your sperm pulled out even if you're snipped.

[Guest 2]

You can?

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

I like the way you said that. Speaking of which, I'm. I'm at that, like seven year mark post vasectomy, and apparently that's when, like, has grown back together.

[Podcast Host]

What?

[Guest 2]

I'm gonna go get tested just to make sure.

[Kristen]

Are you serious?

[Guest 2]

Yeah, I've heard enough of those stories where I'm like, I'm gonna go get tested again to make sure I ain't got no swimmers. They say around like a seven year markish, if it's gonna happen, that's when it happens.

[Kristen]

I have never heard that in my whole life.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, people are like, oh, yeah, I've had a vasectomy. And then they just like blasting everywhere and all of a sudden your baby turns up pregnant. Yeah. And like, I cannot have that.

[Kristen]

But wait, I was gonna say something to your point about like, the grandfather thing is like, it's so interesting that you say that because I. It brought me back to my childhood before hit the fan. And like, my grandfather was always in my life. But, like, the women are the ones who ran the family.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Like my great grandmother, my mom's grandmother, and then my mom's mom were the ones who like, were the glue and like, kept going. It wasn't the men, which is so funny.

[Guest 2]

Really?

[Kristen]

Yeah, it was the one.

[Podcast Host]

It was.

[Guest 2]

I'll tell you what, man.

[Kristen]

My grandfather was like, kind of like y'. All like you kind of. Not that you're old, but like personality wise kind of remind me of my grandfather. No, he's just like a hunter. A hunter?

[Podcast Host]

A fisherman.

[Kristen]

Like, Bill, like, was like, he worked on guns. Like he had a workshop. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like that he was a dude dad, you know, like a dude grandpa. And so. But even with that energy and like what you're describing, like, really masculine energy, like, the women still ran.

[Guest 1]

Really? Yeah, we were.

[Guest 2]

I know when my dad died, that's when, like my family fell apart.

[Kristen]

Like, interesting.

[Guest 2]

It felt like not what, some ways bad, but. But also other ways. Just like, that's when big family dinners stopped happening. When like extended family stopped getting together.

[Kristen]

When your dad died.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Interesting.

[Guest 2]

It's. And it's. It wasn't intentional.

[Podcast Host]

No.

[Guest 2]

It just seemed like when like a certain patriarch is gone, then you. It just stops for some reason. And like, I hate it. And it's one reason why. One of the million reasons Why I love Pam's family because they are, are massive on traditions. I mean, huge. Their, their holiday dinners and their, their traditions that they hold are like really tight, really big. And like, I love it because I still get that. We still get the big Christmas. Big Thanksgiving. Our, Our Thanksgiving with her family literally is eaten in two shifts. The men eat first and the women hang out, drink wine, picket desserts, and then the women eat dinner and then the men go eat dessert because there's so many people.

[Guest 1]

Hey, don't, don't, don't leave out what you said on our podcast. Don't shy away from. You said, who does the cleaning?

[Guest 2]

The men do. The men do the dishes. Yeah.

[Kristen]

As they should.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. He was very proud of the men first.

[Guest 2]

But the women, it's nice to see like the, the great ants and all that stuff. When the men are done eating, they come clear the plate from you in front of you and stuff like that.

[Guest 1]

I think all two of you could. Everybody has an addiction in there. Did you find, like, eventually, like I remember my dad, like, you get. I went from someone that I was like super proud with to someone I was going to be embarrassed by. So like we had like a Thanksgiving. Like you talk about like Thanksgivings and Christmas dinners all start slowing down. I can remember like a last few. Couple there. I'm like, man, I hope my dad does not say anything weird or inappropriate.

[Kristen]

Or like, see what's interesting about that. Cuz y' all know my mom is also an addict and an alcoholic. My mom was on her best behavior around our family. Like she was not drinking at Christmas or Thanksgiving. She had to be on her best behavior. Well dressed, kept it together almost to like a point where it was like, okay, shut the up. Like you are not doing all of these things.

[Podcast Host]

Shut up.

[Guest 1]

You know, my, my dad never had like any weird, like, it never like some weird outbursts or anything like that. It just might be like everyone. No one's coming to the truth yet moment. Like, everyone's like, because, you know, like my in laws or I mean, I'm in laws, but like my, my uncles and aunts would call me like, hey, what's. What's going on at the house? Like, are your parents on drugs? Like, you know, we're hearing things and stuff. Like, you know, like, and then you go to. I'm like, I don't know what's going on. And, and then you show up to a dinner like, well, you know, my dad might be like slurring or saying like some inappropriate, like trying to Make a joke that's like what the is going on right now. But not like some outburst or nothing like that. Just like everyone's like what's going on right now? Like. Like this is not them or something. You know, something like that. You know.

[Kristen]

Did anyone like rally to try to help save the house or anything?

[Guest 1]

We tried. Yeah. My brother got them hooked up like I think on some type of, you know, payment schedule where they could just. If they. It's like we were on the last Lego. Like you just make these payments. Just make these payments. Like that's all you have to do. It's been whatever they do at the end there where they can. You know you get on a payment schedule essentially and like if you just make these. And they just couldn't do it. I remember yelling my dad. We were trying to clean the house out and just like I remember leaving. I was just yelling at him. I was like Kim, you lost the house and everything. I was just. I just left.

[Guest 2]

Did your dad die in the house across the street from me?

[Guest 1]

No.

[Kristen]

Oh, he didn't. Died in an apartment?

[Guest 1]

No, cuz you know like his.

[Guest 2]

His childhood home is across the street from my house.

[Kristen]

Oh, I did not know your house that you live in now. Oh, interesting.

[Guest 2]

I thought he died there.

[Guest 1]

No, they died in Newcastle.

[Guest 2]

Cuz I sold that house and I conveniently left that out cuz I thought I. I'm like I wanted to touch the. To the buyers are buying it. Like yeah, my buddy's dad died on top of these stairs. But because I thought it was there.

[Kristen]

Well thank God because now you didn't lie by omission either.

[Guest 1]

No, no, it was. It was. No, it was. It was up there. I remember when my boys came up when we cleaned the house out and stuff and mom's like, you know like saying goodbye in there and like the, the. She was like the neighbor wants the. The. The bed set and stuff. I'm like that. I threw that. I threw that bed set right in the trash.

[Kristen]

Bed set is crazy.

[Guest 1]

I was like. She was like did you throw it away? Like what do you want? I'm like that. I'm like she can go lose her own father. That I mean like this bed set. Let's get the out of Newcastle. Like wrap it up. You're coming back with me and buying your house this place.

[Kristen]

With the holidays approaching and having dead dads that were present in Yalls lives. Do you have any advice? Not necessarily.

[Podcast Host]

I can't.

[Kristen]

I can't give advice because my dad wasn't Around. But like, is there any advice that you have for people that lost someone close to the holidays and maybe this is their first holiday season without a loved one?

[Guest 2]

Yeah. That the firsts are rough. My. My dad. Dad died December 7th.

[Kristen]

So right before Christmas. After Thanksgiving. Right before Christmas.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

So the hot. The first, like I remember like I was still home, you know, Christmas. I still lived at my house, my parents house. And like Christmas morning, you know, you just. And it's just your mom sitting on the end of the couch and me and my sister opening presents. And I had this thing I always. My whole entire life, I would. We at Christmas, everybody open presents when you're a kid. And I would always say like, oh, this is the best Christmas ever. Ever. And that like carried into like my teens. And I still would always say, because my mom like waited for me to say, this is the best Christmas ever. Oh, I'm like trying to cry. I thought I'd get through this without the, without doing this and like the first Christmas without my dad. And you just, you. You go through with it because you're. This is. It's still Christmas, right? The world doesn't give a. It's still happening and opening presents and all that stuff. And we get done. And my mom, My mom goes, I'm really sorry this isn't the best Christmas ever. You're like, what the man? And that was literally the last time ever said it. You know what I mean? It was just like dumb.

[Guest 1]

Right?

[Guest 2]

Like that. Right? But. But yeah, like as far as like moving forward, like it's. The world does not stop and there's still people you have to live for, you know, I mean, including who you lost. You still have to live for them. What are you gonna do? Like not get your kids Christmas?

[Podcast Host]

Us?

[Guest 2]

Like, like literally every. Every woman in here is crying because it's up. Are you like not going to get. You're not going to get your kids Christmas? Like, am I not going to celebrate my kids? Not going to celebrate my niece and nephews? So like, that's really the thing is you have to go. You have to live for them. And you can't focus on. Oh, well, dad's not here anymore. Oh, look at. Thank you, Kristen.

[Guest 1]

Dad.

[Guest 2]

Dad's not here anymore. And you know all those like bad things, which is so easy to get sucked into. It's way easier. God damn it, Kale. It's way easier to get sucked into like all the bad. And you could saw because that's. That's easy. You've gotta like Live for them and keep traditions going for them. You know what I mean? Because we're all. We're all gonna experience at some point. Some point I'm gonna die, and Pam's gonna have the first without me. And I don't want them to, like, not have a good Christmas or a good Thanksgiving, you know what I mean?

[Guest 1]

That's really.

[Guest 2]

That's really the only thing.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, that's. Yours went that way, but mine, you know, yours got worse, and mine probably got better because, like I said, you weren't worried about already lost. We already lost those. The. The Christmases they became. They weren't. There wasn't. Like, by the end, like, there's no. There was no gifts. Like, so literally, like, I. You know, I don't even remember, man. I just don't remember the first ones.

[Guest 2]

You're probably a little bit relieved.

[Guest 1]

Like, a little.

[Guest 2]

It was a little bit less stressful.

[Guest 1]

This is.

[Guest 2]

This is.

[Guest 1]

Is Jerry and I talked about is the sadness that happens when the person on. Who's addicted to the drugs, especially heroin. Like, this is like. There's a whole train loss there that you literally lose everything. Like, there's a. Like, there's a. There's a road map to, like, you. It just. To death. You just start losing everything. And so the. There's some relief to, like, the train. The train of madness is over. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, all right, well, that's all done.

[Guest 2]

Like, now you can start your own things.

[Guest 1]

Now we can start, like, rebuilding. And so, like, the first Christmas, whatever. I just, like, you know, you can start.

[Podcast Host]

You can.

[Kristen]

You can be sad.

[Guest 1]

And it is. It's just real. And so you start, you know, get my mom gifts and, like, I'm the man. So I get her all her. You know, got her a house and all that. Like, you know, make sure she's coming in for dinner. Like, hey, I. It's my role to get the. You know, get the family thing going. Everyone's not coming. It's just gonna be us, you know, I mean, it's like my family and my mom, you know, so you come over, you know, we're gonna start our own new traditions. There's gonna be presents for you. Is what the. It is rolling. So, like. But we had already lost the crystal. Now they're just getting better, and we're just. We're rebuilding. You know what I mean? And my dad.

[Guest 2]

Completely different things.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, he didn't. Because he didn't go. My dad. I mean, the day that sad. He didn't go out near Christmas. But my dad did do. He was. He did plan it well, and he went out on Father's Day. So Father's Day is a little different for me. Yeah. I'm like. Like, you know, it's a little different. You gonna do it? Let's just do it.

[Kristen]

This is.

[Guest 1]

Let's just hit her on the head.

[Guest 2]

What A Father's Day. But now you get to celebrate with your son.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Because that's another thing, right?

[Kristen]

For.

[Guest 2]

For dads out there. You might not have a lot of dads listening, but maybe daughters. The first Father's Day is rough, too. Right. And I remember years, like, I just. Father's Day was. And even. Even into me having my own kids. And I remember Pam said to me one time was, like. Like, you know, you have kids trying to celebrate you. Like, don't.

[Kristen]

Why am I gonna cry again?

[Guest 2]

Because you're in the zone. You're in the crying zone. And it was. And it snapped me out of it like that. Like, I. So you're talking. When I had, you know, Charlotte, I was in my early 30s, I guess I was. Yeah. 33. Yeah. And so it was years after that, even. My dad died in 2002. And I was so kind of like. Like, mopey on that Father's Day. And it was. It was a jealousy because I get to see Pam celebrate her dad. And it was like, there's some jealousy there. We're being honest. Like, God damn it, I wish I had that. Like, I'm so jealous that you have this. And. And it just. One day, Pam just hit me with the hard truth. She's like, you. You have kids trying to celebrate you now. And it just. That ended it for me. I was like, you know what? You're right. Can't do this anymore. Can't be sad on Father's Day. You know, that's being selfish because. Because, again, the world keeps going.

[Kristen]

It does.

[Guest 1]

And I've talked about that. Like, I've reminded her. Sometimes I'm like.

[Kristen]

Like, it's bittersweet.

[Guest 1]

Well, we're just going to do a lot with her side of family. Right. And all this stuff. And sometimes I'm like, yeah, I don't really want to do all that. Can we just do it? She's like, why do you always try to get out of these things? I'm not trying to get out all of them. I'm just saying, like, you know, it's my day, too. Like, and don't forget, like, y' all are hanging out like, also, I don't have that. So, like, sometimes I just want it real personal between us.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

You know what I mean? Because, like, it's not feeling that way.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

I mean, so I'll take it personal if I don't want to do all of them. You know what I mean?

[Guest 2]

So that's like.

[Kristen]

It's like a bittersweet. Obviously, it's no shade to anybody on her side, but it's like, you're going through it too. Yeah.

[Guest 1]

I don't know. And it's not really a big deal. I mean, it just is what it is. Like, you know, it's just as a look. Like, Jerry and I say we're lucky our dads raised us with a lot of confidence and to be men. So it's like, you know, just literally stepping over my dad, hugging my mom, like, whatever. I got this. Let's roll, dude. You know? I mean, like, let's just roll on this.

[Guest 2]

That's the thing.

[Guest 1]

Like, probably.

[Guest 2]

A lot of women will probably crucify me for this. But, like, being a man can be hard because no one is there to save you. Like, nobody.

[Kristen]

Emotionally, you mean?

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Like, nobody's. Nobody's gonna be there. Nobody's coming for us.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

So we gotta be like, all right, well, it.

[Guest 1]

This is.

[Guest 2]

This is my role now. So I gotta do with. Right now, my sister. Like, I'm just helping my mom help my sister's boyfriend, trying to get him back on his feet. The kids, like, that's.

[Guest 1]

That's all I care about.

[Podcast Host]

Up.

[Guest 2]

She's gone. It's that. That's. That's done. But I still got a job to do. I saw it now. Now I gotta. Now I gotta step up.

[Kristen]

Your dad's not here to help. You gotta sort of be that person.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

And everybody else is suffering, so I gotta be that person, you know? And it doesn't mean I didn't mourn or nothing like that, but you gotta push it aside. And it's like, nobody's coming for me. I gotta be here for those people. And that's. That's our responsibility. There's no other way to do it. It's just. That's the response. The way the world is.

[Guest 1]

There's no time for you to be hysterical and all this and all that.

[Kristen]

I'm not a man, but I am the provider. I'm the sole provider for five of my kids. And I feel very much, like, masculine, like. Like, I'm the provider. I'm the person that does that. So in some ways, you Are you.

[Guest 2]

Are the exception though. You know what I mean?

[Kristen]

So I like have to be both parents.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. We're not, we're not throwing shade on anything.

[Kristen]

No, no, no, no. I didn't take it that way.

[Guest 2]

I was just saying like we are.

[Kristen]

I'm not a male, but I could relate to that a bit. Little bit is like aside from the girls, like family wise, nobody's checking on me, nobody's making sure that I'm good.

[Podcast Host]

Nobody's.

[Kristen]

I mean my uncle text me and was like oh, like sorry for your loss. Like Raymond died or whatever. But it's like that's it.

[Guest 2]

That's it. That's the way the world is.

[Kristen]

You just keep on. Okay.

[Guest 2]

Yep. One thing that's like was a, was a real aha moment, as dumb as it sounds. Remember like days after my dad died, I was getting gas in my car and I was sitting there pumping gas and I'm sad and I'm like looking around at everybody else that's at the gas station and everybody's doing their thing, getting their, starting their day and I remember thinking like what the are you doing? Like don't you know? Like there's something going on? Like how are you just going about life? How are you doing this? And that night I was at my grandparents house, I was talking to my pop up and I told him about that and he was like, yeah. He said life don't stop the world. He's like, they got their own stuff too. And I. And at 22, I was like, oh, he's right. Damn. I didn't never thought about it.

[Podcast Host]

It hurts though.

[Kristen]

And it's like it's nobody's fault but.

[Guest 2]

How dare you pump your gas right now.

[Kristen]

No, but literally like I, I went to Wawa when I, I don't remember. I think it was like around the time that my dad died. And I'm thinking to myself like, same sort of like, like what are we doing? Like, like it wasn't like a what are you doing? It was more like a what the. Like, yeah. Essentially the same concept.

[Guest 2]

You can't explain it in words. But you felt what I felt.

[Podcast Host]

Yes.

[Kristen]

And I was just like, that's it. Like that's it.

[Guest 2]

Yep.

[Kristen]

We just keep going.

[Guest 1]

Yep. I could tell you no, no immediate family. There ain't no one that called me to check in. Like, yo, how you doing? You know what I mean? None of it. Just like, it was just like no one checked in like your time. You're right. Because I'm the only, I'm the one doing all, like, making all, like, you know, I mean, people like when I bought my mom the house. And then we're doing like, you know, see somebody, you know, a function like, oh, you're doing a great job. All right. Yeah, well, none of you called.

[Kristen]

Matter of fact, if you didn't call me at my worst, don't call me at my best either.

[Guest 2]

But you know what?

[Guest 1]

I expect no call. I mean, no, you didn't do it. I don't expect no help. I mean, I guess we just didn't. We don't. We didn't. I don't have that in our family. Whatever. That's just inhabit. Unexpected anyway. It's like, it's all good. I like the fact I took care of it all anyway. Selfishly, I'm like it. That's my job. I'm built to do it. So, yeah, I'll do it all.

[Kristen]

Yeah, makes sense. Well, thank you guys for coming on Barely Famous. Jerry has a barber appointment.

[Guest 2]

Thank you.

[Guest 1]

Probably like this. Said he'd be going for an hour. Where the he's at?

[Guest 2]

I appreciate you.

[Kristen]

No Tick tocks today.

[Guest 2]

Next time, having us our little, little dude dads on the gigantic Barely famous. We love it.

[Kristen]

Well, everyone should go listen to barely Everyone should go listen to the dude dad's podcast on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get podcasts. Where can people find you on Instagram, everywhere.

[Guest 2]

The do dads podcast on Tick Tock. Tick tock, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, all of it.

[Guest 1]

Just go, hit the follow button. It's easy.

[Guest 2]

Takes you a second. It helps us tremendously. It takes you one second.

[Guest 1]

And we could. We need. And we could use some reviews on Spotify. Keep boosting us up so we can. We can keep building up that ladder and so we can do more.

[Guest 2]

Bro, I think we made 27 cents last month.

[Kristen]

That's amazing, bro.

[Guest 1]

First off, it's real. He sent me, like, it was like two bucks. I was like, yo, no joke jokes. Like, jokes aside, Like, I know it's only like $2, but, like, it's real. We said something two years ago, and now it's monetarily, like, it happened. Like it's real. Like, it's.

[Guest 2]

Remember I told you it might as well been $5,000?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

No, because it's the start of something which is so exciting.

[Guest 2]

So pumped about it. Ladies listening. I know someone's experienced something we talked about today. You all have husbands, brothers, dads, friends, right? Make sure you send a. Send them to us at least this show. Go give us a follow. We talk a lot of. But we talk about a lot of real too.

[Guest 1]

We talk about. We don't. We do not have a cheesy podcast. We get right to it. When we get into things that you probably are thinking that you wish someone else was talking about, you want to hear those same life experiences and how they're handled. And that's, that's what we do.

[Guest 2]

So send your men over to the Dude Dads podcast.

[Guest 1]

Come on.

[Guest 2]

Sam. This October, fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from Paranormal Activity, the Ring, you will die in seven days scream and from dusk till dawn. This is my kind of place. And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos pass in 28 days later.

[Justin Sylvester]

Something in the blood, all the scares, all for free.

[Guest 2]

Pluto TV stream now pay never.

[Justin Sylvester]

I'm Justin Sylvester. And I'm Blake Lee Thornton. Join us for yesterdays, the podcast where we break down the most pivotal pop culture moments in history and give them the queer love that they deserve. The things that got us riled up during dial up, those makeouts that should have been breakouts and the drops that were cemented in pop. I'm talking Benifer, Tyra versus Naomi, Tom Cruise jumping on that couch and so much more. So please rate us, subscribe to us on Apple podcast, Spotify or anywhere you get audio related content. We also take Venmo and cash, app ach or credit card number as well. We're malleable, you know we're gay today.