Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty

Summary

Barely Famous Episode Summary: "Breaking It Down With Cate & Ty"

Release Date: March 14, 2025

In this deeply personal and emotionally charged episode of Barely Famous, host Kale sits down with Kate and Ty, former cast members of Team Mom, to delve into the complexities of growing up amidst addiction, trauma, and the enduring impact these experiences have on their lives and relationships. The conversation is raw, honest, and offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the struggles and resilience of navigating familial addiction.

---

1. Introduction to Kate and Ty's New Podcast

Kale (00:28): "Welcome to the show. Things are going to get weird. It's your fave villain, Kale, and you're listening to Barely Famous."

Kate (01:05) and Ty (01:06) share their excitement about launching their own podcast, expressing confidence despite initial jitters. They highlight the desire to create authentic and unfiltered conversations, distinct from their reality TV experiences.

---

2. Personal Histories with Addiction

Kate (04:52): "That didn't shape everything, who you were? I don't think people understand my entire life to this day."

Kate and Ty reveal the profound influence of their parents' addiction on their upbringing. Kate discusses her father's ongoing struggles with sobriety and the importance of setting boundaries for her mental health.

Ty (08:40): "My mom's just at our house right now watching my kids. I love her."

Ty opens up about his mother's alcoholism, the challenges of maintaining a healthy relationship, and the measures he has taken to protect himself and his children.

---

3. Setting Boundaries and Healing

Kale (06:10): "What is your relationship like with your parents now?"

Ty (07:03) explains the delicate balance of maintaining minimal contact with his father to ensure his own well-being while expressing a desire to reconnect and introduce him to his children.

Kate (11:07) confronts the toxic behavior of her partner’s family, emphasizing the importance of not allowing external negativity to undermine their relationship.

---

4. Sibling Relationships and Trauma

Kale (07:55) observes the shared experiences of addiction within their families, noting the unique bond it creates.

Ty (29:13) discusses his relationship with his siblings, highlighting the struggles faced by his brothers and stepsister due to their mother's addiction and their father's absence.

Kate (32:07) adds depth to the conversation by sharing the emotional turmoil caused by their stepmother’s abuse and its long-term effects on sibling relationships.

---

5. Coping Mechanisms: Therapy and Ketamine Treatment

Kale (51:30) steers the conversation towards alternative therapies, prompting Kate and Ty to discuss their experiences with ketamine therapy.

Kate (49:43): "I did a letter to my younger self. It was like, let it go. Burned the letter and felt freeing."

Kate describes the transformative impact of a single ketamine session, comparing it to years of traditional therapy. Ty echoes the benefits while expressing reservations about the potential loss of control during the experience.

---

6. Breaking the Cycle: Intergenerational Trauma

Kale (39:48) and Kate (45:12) explore the concept of intergenerational trauma, emphasizing the importance of understanding and healing past wounds to prevent the perpetuation of addiction and emotional abuse.

Ty (68:31): "I've always had that thought process. I wanted to be a mom and do things differently."

Ty and Kate discuss their commitment to providing a healthier environment for their children, breaking away from the destructive patterns of their upbringing.

---

7. Reflections on Addiction and Empathy

Kate (66:11): "It's not trauma's what happened, it's how you reacted to what happened."

The trio reflects on the varied impacts of trauma and addiction, recognizing that each individual's response is unique. They emphasize the importance of empathy and non-judgment in supporting those struggling with addiction.

Ty (67:34): "All addicts are trying to numb themselves from something."

---

8. Closing Thoughts and Future Steps

Kale (69:05): "Where can people find your podcast and your social media?"

Kate and Ty share details about their new podcast, "Kate and Ty, Break It Down," encouraging listeners to join them on their journey of healing and self-discovery.

Kate (70:31): "Thanks for coming on Barely Famous."

---

Notable Quotes

• Kale (00:28): "Things are going to get weird."
• Kate (07:03): "I always reach out to him at least once a month and say, hey, because I think it's important for me to say, hey, I love you."
• Ty (53:08): "It's literally curing people's PTSD."
• Kate (66:11): "Trauma's not what happened, it's how you reacted to what happened."
• Ty (68:31): "I always wanted to be a mom and I wanted to do things differently."

---

Key Takeaways

• Authentic Storytelling: Kate and Ty prioritize genuine conversations over scripted narratives, aiming to provide a real perspective on their experiences.

• Boundaries for Mental Health: Establishing and maintaining boundaries is crucial for healing and protecting one's mental well-being amidst familial addiction.

• Therapeutic Approaches: Alternative therapies like ketamine treatment have had a significant positive impact on Kate and Ty's healing journeys.

• Breaking the Cycle: Acknowledging and addressing intergenerational trauma is essential to prevent the continuation of destructive patterns.

• Empathy and Understanding: Recognizing the unique ways individuals cope with trauma fosters a more supportive environment for those struggling with addiction.

---

This episode offers a poignant exploration of how addiction and trauma shape personal identities and relationships. Barely Famous provides listeners with valuable insights into resilience, the importance of setting healthy boundaries, and the ongoing journey toward healing and self-discovery.

Transcript

[Nordstrom Ad]

Nordstrom is here to help you dress in a way that feels totally you. With the best spring style. From boho dresses and matching sets to must have bags and sneakers. Discover thousands of items from lots of your favorite brands, like Mango Reformation, Veronica Beard, and Farm Rio. It's easy, too, with free shipping and returns in store order pickup and more. Shop today in stores [e-mail].

[Kale]

Welcome to the show. Things are going to get weird. It's your fave villain, Kale, and you're listening to Barely Famous. All right, Kate and Ty, welcome to the Barely Famous podcast.

[Kate]

Thanks for having me.

[Kale]

I should say, Kate and Ty, break it down. Welcome to the very famous podcast.

[Kate]

Okay, drop it. Throw it out there.

[Kale]

For those of you gu who don't know, Kate and Ty just dropped their own podcast. Super excited. Yeah, super excited. How did it go yesterday? Tell me in your own words.

[Kate]

I thought it was great. I mean, it was like.

[Ty]

It was fine.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was our first time, but we felt good about it.

[Kale]

I was at the airport getting, like, live updates, and I was like, how did it go? Like, I just wanted to hear because I couldn't be here. And everyone was like, it was so good. They were all super excited.

[Kate]

And I told them, I said, don't both smoke on my ass. You better tell me when I'm messing up.

[Kale]

We will definitely tell you, but honestly, like, podcasting is so fun because I feel like we just get, like, listeners. Get a longer glimpse into who you guys are as people.

[Ty]

Because 100.

[Kale]

Obviously, it's a longer episode than what we get on, and we have a little more freedom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ty]

And it was nice to just like, jump in and go full force instead of just dipping our toes wet into little things. It was. We came here and it was like.

[Kate]

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And it's better because the people we're talking to, it's like, we don't really know. We purposely don't want to know too much about them. I just want to, like. I want to really, like, make it authentic. I want to feel real. I want it to feel just like you're chilling with us, hanging out, talking, like, normal. I don't want it to be, like, really, like, you know, news reporter.

[Kale]

I'll show up in pajamas. I don't give a shit. Snacks. Yeah, but what's cool about podcasting, too, is that, like, people know who Kate and Ty are. Right? People don't necessarily know who your guests are or maybe they have a smaller platform. And what's cool is that brings out New things about you guys that you're able to say because it opens the conversation more. And so maybe things that didn't get to air on Team mom you'll be able to say. Or maybe something that someone else says will trigger something that happened with you guys, right?

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Kale]

I think that's like, trigger a memory. I mean, not trigger you.

[Kate]

Yeah, no.

[Kale]

I don't know one triggers you, but it does.

[Kate]

We're easily triggered.

[Kale]

No, I mean, I am, but.

[Ty]

No, neither here nor there, but this.

[Kate]

But I mean, I honestly feel like people have been writing us for, like, years, and we're just like, yeah, you know, all right. But I feel like after a while, I was like, all right, clearly this is something that people want to hear about. And I also feel like kind of go off of what you said about. You get to see. No, through our perspective. Not necessarily through MTV's perspective or routine. Mom's little clip of. It's like, now you get to really dive deep into, like, what our whole journey's been like, which I feel like people have a good idea, but not, like, the nitty gritty details and what happens behind, you know, the scenes and stuff. And like, this gives us an opportunity to kind of just get right in there.

[Ty]

And also, too, like, when stuff is aired about us, we can go into the facts. And this is what happened behind the scenes that the cameras didn't air or they didn't catch. And, yeah, we can just kind of explain it more in more detail.

[Kate]

Just more freedom. Because honestly, with. With Team Mao always changing, it's like less and less, you know, screen time. More stuff you're sharing with other, you know, you don't. You only. I only get, what, five minutes maybe, right?

[Kale]

What is the structure of Teen mom next chapter? Because I haven't. I left.

[Kate]

What do you mean, the structure? What do you mean?

[Kale]

So what? So what is the. So is it the same sort of structure as Teen mom and Team mom? Like Teen Mom OG and Teen Mom 2, but now it's blended together and you guys all have a couple minutes each?

[Ty]

Well, no, no. It depends on if you make it in episodes or not.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Huh.

[Kate]

Got.

[Kale]

So you're not in every. You guys might not be in every episode.

[Kate]

Right, right, right.

[Kale]

Got it.

[Kate]

Okay. Because now there's what, eight. Eight cast members?

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So we have you guys, Macy, Leah, Leah, Amber.

[Ty]

Now you're going to fuck her all up.

[Kate]

Oh, sorry. Who else? Oh, mackenzie, Ashley.

[Kale]

Oh, yeah.

[Ty]

And then that's it, right? Cheyenne, Dave.

[Kale]

Shit, there's nine people. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

[Kate]

So we were like, okay, this is the time. Fans have been asking for it for years.

[Kale]

Right.

[Kate]

Start a podcast. Want to hear about adoption and trauma and addiction, all this other stuff.

[Kale]

Well, so I always, always, always related to you guys specifically on the addiction stuff because I felt like when your season of 16 and pregnant aired, like, the very first one episode shows, y. You guys were the only ones that really sort of shared the same background, I guess, as me with. I don't. Whose parent. Your dad was an addict.

[Ty]

Right.

[Kale]

And your mom. My mom, too. So I felt like you were the only ones that I really resonated with in that way. I don't think that there are a lot of cast members on the show as. As a whole, like, in the franchise that really struggled with that. And so I feel like I always resonated with your story because of that, but I wish we talked more about it.

[Kate]

Yeah, that's what I mean. Because didn't it shape everything, who you were? I don't think people understand my entire.

[Kale]

Life to this day. To this day. Exact addiction.

[Kate]

Yeah. And how you're raised. So.

[Kale]

And so it's really interesting that, you know, we have that in common. I feel like I always resonated.

[Kate]

No, it's funny. I actually just. Someone just saw a clip. I just saw a clip of when you first met your dad.

[Ty]

Oh, my God.

[Kate]

I was like, dude, that was like, my dad, like, that's. Hey. I was like, that's family. I'm like, yo.

[Ty]

You're like, what you say? You're like, is this how your house always looks? I was just floored.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Because I was like, what is happening? Because I had this fantasy in my head my entire life that my dad was like this knight in shining, shining armor that was going to come save me when I was like, whatever age. He's going to come, he's going to find me, and he's going to take me away from all the problems only to find out that, like, damn, he.

[Ty]

Has a lot of problems too. Right?

[Kale]

Yeah. And also a lot of missing teeth. So I was just like, what's going on?

[Kate]

No, but I saw the clip and I was like, dude, that is literally, like, our lives. That's what we were raised in. Like, so it's funny that you went there like, whoa, what the hell?

[Kale]

What is your relationship with, like, what is your relationship like with your parents now?

[Kate]

I mean, my dad is in Texas still.

[Kale]

Oh, that's where my dad is.

[Kate]

Okay. Holy.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Kate]

But yeah, so he's in Texas. He's After I got him to go to rehab in Texas, he just stayed down there.

[Kale]

But is he sober?

[Kate]

As I know of. I don't. I can't. I don't think he's. I don't think he's completely sober. I think he may dip and dabble here and there, but also, we don't.

[Ty]

Talk to him enough.

[Kale]

Why don't you guys talk?

[Kate]

I just felt like, for my own mental health, I was like, listen, like, I need to kind of create some. Some parameters, some boundaries, a little bit of boundaries. Like, so I'll. I always reach out to him at least once a month and say, hey, because I think it's important for me to say, hey, I love you. I'm thinking about you today, or whatever it is. It doesn't mean I need to see you or you need to come in my life or anything like that, but I want to make sure that I don't have any regrets, you know, from. From me. You know, my reaching out or whatever.

[Kale]

It's like peace of mind. Yeah.

[Kate]

For myself. And so I felt like once I realized that he was probably not sober, I was like. That's when I was like, all right, you're dipping and dabbling again. I got my own kids now, and I just feel like it's safe.

[Kale]

A personal choice on your end.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Not necessarily because he wasn't reaching out, or does he not reach out?

[Ty]

He doesn't.

[Kale]

He doesn't.

[Kate]

He's starting to. The last, like, year.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I have to say, he started reaching out more. He has a girlfriend that is down there that, you know, it's a whole nother story. But you don't really like me.

[Kale]

Really?

[Kate]

But, yeah, she's. Yeah, she don't like me, but it's fine. Hey, it's. It's all right. I. She actually thinks that I used my dad as, like, a, you know, story or like, oh, you use your dad as like.

[Kale]

Yeah, I'm here to say absolutely the fuck not. But here's the thing. We didn't ask to fucking be here. And if you traumatized me for my whole fucking life, I am going to talk about you.

[Kate]

And then I have a camera following my story. I'm like, dude, I'm going to talk about.

[Kale]

You traumatized me. I deserve to talk about it.

[Kate]

So I'm going to ask for permission. Like, I'm sorry, but, you know, you.

[Kale]

Don'T get to dictate what you did to me and how I feel about it.

[Kate]

Yeah. So I feel like, for me, it was like, I just Kind of keep a nice, safe distance. That feels good for me, for sure. And I plan on going to see him pretty soon or him coming to. You know, I was like, yeah, I want to fly you out. You haven't met my last two kids. Like, oh, he hasn't? No. So I'm like, you know, it's time, and you seem to be in a good space right now, so I think now's the time. And. And I'll determine if that, you know, changes, obviously. But, yeah, so I think we're. I'm at a place where I'm just kind of, like, creating a safe distance with.

[Kale]

And what about your mom?

[Ty]

My mom's just at our house right now.

[Kate]

Yeah, she's at her house right now watching my kids.

[Kale]

I love her.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

What about your parents? Where. What is the relationship with your mom now?

[Ty]

With my mom now, it's.

[Kale]

Is she sober?

[Ty]

I don't know. But I don't police it enough. All I know is that I gave her strict boundaries on the fact of I don't want you drinking around me, and I don't want you drinking around the kids. And, you know, you're an adult. If that's something you want to do, just let me know. And I know not to come over or I know that you want to have some drinks, then I'll come pick my kids up or whatever, you know. But it's very. We've been through a lot. We went through a lot, like, on this past season, and I cut her off for, like, a good year. I just couldn't take it anymore. And now it's kind of slowly progressed into having conversations, and she comes over to my house and sees the kids, and honestly, who opened that door was Nova. And her. And I had this conversation, and she just said, I really miss her. I really miss my grandma. And I was like, well, fucking like, is there any way that I can do this in a. In a way that makes me feel safe and I know my children are safe.

[Kale]

Right.

[Ty]

And so my mom has come over to our house a few times for, like, barbecues and to see the kids, and there's been, like, two or three times where I'll drop the older two off of my mom's house just for the day. I'm not comfortable overnights yet, and she knows that I let them hang out for a few hours. I go there, pick them up, bring them home. Like, whatever makes me feel safe and comfortable, I'm okay with.

[Kale]

Right.

[Ty]

And I think that's maybe what needed to happen for My mom to realize, like, I'm not doing this anymore. This back and forth, the me not speaking when I'm uncomfortable or I'm showing up and you're drinking and I don't say anything and I stay, but I'm anxious, like, I'm not doing it anymore for myself. And so it's been slowly progressing into a relationship, but I'm just literally taking it super slow.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I feel like when it comes to your mom, we're just kind of following our intuition. Like, whatever feels like good. And I feel like your mom's been really good. She's not. Like, she has.

[Ty]

And I've noticed. Like, she reached out to me and said, hey, I would love to start doing like a weekly thing. I come over once a week, we do dinner or we make pies or we do something with the kids. And I said, absolutely. And I told her, I said, that.

[Kale]

Means a lot to me that she's making the effort.

[Ty]

Yes. Because I felt like it was. I was always having to be the one to make the effort when in a mother, parent relationship. It should not be like that.

[Kate]

Yeah. Because honestly, the whole reason why all the fall happened, there's a lot that happened as far as, like, you didn't, like, you didn't just attack, you know, or put, you know, do stuff in front of Nova that we didn't agree with, but you also totally, like attacked our relationship. You attacked our lifestyle.

[Kale]

Like, it was. Your mom did that. Yeah.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah. They went on like Instagram and they. Yeah, it was just. It was toxic. It was just bad. It was not good.

[Kale]

I don't think I knew about any of this. Was this like a public situation?

[Kate]

Yeah, it was. I mean, she. She did.

[Ty]

She made a couple quotes and stuff.

[Kate]

And then her little brother went on. On Instagram live and did a whole like so much rumor stuff that just kind of got. It was like unnecessary out of nowhere, like, what is going on? It was just really weird thing. And so I think at that point it was like, all right, well, how. How could we consciously let you be a part of our lives when you actually are really just creating mess? Like for no reason? Like, I can't consciously do that. So until you get your together, what I mean, it's not safe for us to really be around you. And that was on. And she was like, listen, honestly, the year that you didn't talk to your mom was the. That's the only time that I really think about, like, wow, you really stuck to your boundaries. Like, it was.

[Ty]

Yeah, because I Made a promise to myself. There's been many times and I feel like, you know, when you do grow up in addiction and you're so used to policing the environment so you feel safe, like, you know, she would start drinking around me or whatever and I would just, I would just shut down. And I knew what my boundaries were to myself, like, get up and say, hey, I'm leaving, I'll see you in a few days. Or whatever you're having, you're drinking, I'm leaving. You know, But I wouldn't, I would sit there and I would just. Tyler said, he's like, I could physically see your body turn in.

[Kate]

She would, she would, she would, like, I could see her. Like, she would hurt. She would literally make herself smaller on the couch. And so I would go up to her and just kind of like, hey, are you want to leave? Like, you know what I mean? And it was, it was, it made me really uncomfortable because now I'm like, all right, I know my wife is like not liking this and you're not my mom, so I can't. Like, it's your house. I don't know, I just felt really, it was like uncomfortable.

[Kale]

All right, you've heard me talk about children's vitamins so many times. And typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise. But that's not what we're looking for. We want to do better choices right now and we don't need the vitamins. Filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals and other gummy junk growing kids should never eat. And that's why Haya was created. This is a pediatrician approved super powered chewable vitamin. While most children's vitamins are filled with 5 grams of sugar and can contribute to a variety of health issues, Haya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy junk. But it tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters. Haya fills in the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment that kids need with a good taste that they love. This is formulated with the help of nutritional experts and Haya is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies. Been supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals including vitamin D, B, 12C, zinc, folate and many others to support immunity, energy, brain function, mood, concentration and more. The great thing about this is that they're non gmo, vegan, dairy free, allergy free, gelatin free, nut free and everything else you can imagine. Haya is designed for kids two and up and sent straight to your door. So parents have one thing to worry about. I absolutely love that because five of my kids take these vitamins and I love that they can decorate the bottle as soon as they come for your first order and then they're refillable jars, which is amazing. We've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order and to claim this you have to go to HIA health.com famous. This deal is not available on their regular website. So if you go to H I Y A H E a l t h.com famous and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adult it's true that some.

[Macy]

Things change as we get older, but if you're a woman over 40 and you're dealing with insomnia, brain fog, moodiness and weight gain, you don't have to accept it as just another part of aging. And with MIDI Health you can get help and stop pushing through it alone. The experts at MIDI understand that all these symptoms can be connected to the hormonal changes that happen around menopause and MITI can help you feel more like yourself again. Many healthcare providers aren't trained to treat or even recognize menopause symptoms. MIDI clinicians are menopause experts. They're dedicated to providing safe, effective, FDA approved solutions for dozens of hormonal symptoms, not just hot flashes. Most importantly, they're covered by insurance. 91% of MDI patients get relief from symptoms within just two months. You deserve to feel great. Book your virtual visit today@join midi.com that's join M I D I.com when you.

[Kale]

Guys think about businesses that are selling through the roof like Aloe or Allbirds or even Skims, I'm sure you think about the great product, right? But do you guys ever think about the brilliant marketing behind that? And maybe the often overlooked secret that is actually the businesses behind the business making selling happen. So for millions of businesses that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet planet. And the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50 off, meaning that way less cards go abandoned and way more sales are going. I think this is a great way for small businesses to keep the orders coming in less abandoned shopping cart. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web in Your store or in their feed and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as skims uses. Sign up for $1 per month trial period at shopify.com barely famous all lowercase. Go to shopify.com barelyfamous to upgrade your selling today shopify.com barelyfamous.

[Nordstrom Ad]

Nordstrom is here to help you dress in a way that feels totally you. With the best spring style, from boho dresses and matching sets to must have bags and sneakers. Discover thousands of items from. From lots of your favorite brands like Mango Reformation, Veronica Beard, and Farm Rio. It's easy, too, with free shipping and returns in store order pickup and more. Shop today in stores [e-mail] do you.

[Kale]

Think it was better to have each other during these times.

[Ty]

Oh, my God, yes.

[Kale]

Than to. Or was it harder on your relationship because you would see her kind of struggling with it and then it would take a toll on your relationship?

[Ty]

It never took a toll on our relationship, I think.

[Kale]

Well, there's a.

[Kate]

There's a point when you were like, I'm gonna go to my mom's. I'm like, I'm just not. I don't want to go.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Like, I don't. I. That was my. And that was my boundary for my own. Because I had to sit there and be like, oh, my God, now I got emotionally monitor her and make sure, you know.

[Ty]

So eventually. Yeah. So for me, it just got to a point where it was like, I'm not. I'm doing myself a disservice.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Like, by not sticking to my boundaries. And so I made a promise to myself that I was. I'm never doing that again. I will call it out every time I see it. And so my mom and I had a conversation about that. We met up for lunch one time and had a conversation, and I laid out my boundaries again. And that was after we didn't talk for, like, six months. We met up, had a conversation, and I was. And I just was basically like, we can move forward, but these are my boundaries again. And it's. This is what I will not deal with. Fast forward like a month or two after we had that conversation, it was. The Carly visit was happening, and my mom and I, you know, we're kind of still going through it a little bit, but we were talking in the mending process. Yeah. And so we had the Carly visit. And two times during that visit, she was drinking at the visit.

[Kale]

Oh, she went to the visit.

[Kate]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ty]

And she was drinking at the visit. And I didn't want to call it out. Exactly. Right there in that moment, which I've learned through therapy, wasn't the right thing. Wasn't that my therapist said, you should have stood up right in that moment and said, hey, listen, if you're gonna drink, you need to leave.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Was Carly present?

[Ty]

Yes.

[Kale]

So your therapist would have suggested for you to say that in front of Carly, not.

[Ty]

Right. Not in front of her. Maybe speak on it.

[Kale]

Right.

[Ty]

But my thinking in that moment was, I'm gonna wait. We only have one more day. And after this visit, I'm bringing it up to her, you know?

[Kale]

Okay.

[Ty]

And so after the visit happened and we said our goodbyes, the next morning, I woke up to a text message from my mom's mom. And she was basically going off on me saying, like, the way you treat your mom is disgusting. This is before I even said anything to my mom or anything.

[Kale]

This always comes from the people who are enabling the addict or the alcohol, alcoholics. Because I always have. People always have words for me. The ones that are enabling my mom.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Kale]

And it's like, dude, she just said.

[Ty]

All this nasty stuff to me and everything. And then so I was. I literally just woke up. Got that. So then I reach out to my mom. I sent her. I said, your mom's crazy. And for two, I don't appreciate you. I called her out on it, and I said, I do not appreciate. Like, I let you into one of the most intimate things in my life, and, you know, my boundaries, and you did it anyways. And she said, well, I didn't think it was that big of a deal because other people were having drinks, too. And I said, they're not the alcoholics. They're not the one that traumatized me. And one of the reasons why my child is where she is, because I didn't have any support. And so it just. It really blew up. But I think I needed that. I needed to feel what it was like to be strong and to not rely on her for anything, you know?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Ty]

And that's when we didn't talk for, like, a year. And so now it's just very slow moving. And it's for the kids. And same thing like. Like Ty said, not wanting to have any regrets with. With his dad. I don't want to have any with my mom either, but she needs to understand what I will tolerate and what I will not anymore.

[Kale]

Absolutely.

[Ty]

You know, and I stand firm in that. But if, again, if there's a safe way where the kids can Be evolved, and she can be involved, then I'm cool with that.

[Kale]

Yeah. No, I respect that. And I think just knowing your boundaries is, you know, the best thing you can do for yourself and for your kids.

[Ty]

But I kind of hated myself, in a sense. I felt like a part of it was my fault at the Carly dinner, because there was so many times before that where she knew my boundaries, and she would do it in front of me, and I would never call it out. And so I think she was so used to that pattern. Of course she's gonna think, oh, I can do this, and she's not gonna call it out because she never has.

[Kale]

Right.

[Ty]

And then when I did, she blew up.

[Kale]

Well, because the boundary is for you.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Kale]

And it's up to you to, like, stand firm in it, and she has to learn to respect it or not. And, you know, and especially it's one.

[Kate]

Of those things where it's like, you know, you guys, we. We actually invited you into this really intimate thing, the most intimate thing and personal thing that we ever could do with, like, we're giving you the honor of, like, let's, let's come to the.

[Ty]

Visit, because I don't have to invite anybody. It could be just me tying the girls, you know?

[Kale]

Right.

[Kate]

So it just kind of. It just kind of blew up on our face. And, and obviously after that happened, that's when, like, they went online and kind of, like, just threw our whole relationship all over the place.

[Ty]

And that Tyler's gay boyfriend.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But, like, started all this. And then honestly, like, you know, and the way I took it was. And I was like, listen, I don't take anything personal that your mom says about me. I don't take anything personal about what your little brother says about me. I know who I am comfortable. Whatever. My problem is is that when they say certain things, like, Kate always listen to Tyler or does whatever he says, you're diminishing her strength. You're literally dehumanizing her, robbing her of all the strength that she had on her own. I was not involved in any of this. Strength. She did it on her own. So you're. You're taking it away from her. And how dare you rob her of that? That by bashing me, saying that he controls.

[Kale]

Yeah, that's actually a really good point.

[Kate]

Like, what are you doing? Like, I, I. I've watched your daughter go through therapy. I've watched her struggle and fight and. And just scrounge to get to where she is. And for you to say, oh, well, she does everything you say or whatever. I'm this big controlling person or whatever the case is, like, how dare you?

[Kale]

Well, because acknowledging that would require them to have some level of self awareness that they clearly didn't or don't have. I mean, I don't know them, so I don't want to speak to them right now. But maybe at that time they didn't have that level of self aware would cause they would have to look at themselves. But it was way easier for them to place the blame on you.

[Kate]

That's what I told her. I said, I think, I think it's easier for your mind to place the blame on me than to say, wow, I, I, maybe I traumatized her as a child and that's why she's, you know, making these decisions. You know, it's not me.

[Ty]

She knows. She's been to multiple family weeks when I've been in treatment. She knows what she has done.

[Kale]

You know, does she ever acknowledge she has?

[Ty]

Yes, she definitely has. She's acknowledged, she's apologized, she's, you know, all of the things. But, you know, I think one of her problems is too, that she doesn't do all the therapy for all the she went through as a kid.

[Kale]

Well, I also think that, I mean, you could apologize until you're blue in the face, until you make those changes and your actions are the apology. It doesn't, it's sort of a moot point.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Sorry is just a word, right? Yeah.

[Kale]

And you have nothing.

[Ty]

And if a month later you're cussing me out and saying bad about my.

[Kale]

Husband, again, you were never really sorry.

[Ty]

Exactly.

[Kale]

Because at that point, it's a choice, like you're choosing to do that.

[Ty]

And my claws came out with that too. It's like, like, how dare you. This man has supported me through my whole life. Basically. We've been together for 17 years. I have four beautiful daughters with this man. And if you think that I would stay in a relationship with a man that controlled me and I just listened to everything that he said, you're out of your mind.

[Kale]

And you don't know me as a person.

[Ty]

No, you don't. And I have four daughters. If you think I want them to think that that's a normal way to live and that's really how you think I am, then I don't want nothing to do with you. 100, you know, like, I'm not that type of person.

[Kale]

So when you guys are going through everything that you're going through now with, you know, Carly's adoptive Parents. What does that do with your relation to your relationship with your parents? Like, does Butch have anything to do with, like, do you ever talk to him about it?

[Kate]

Oh, no.

[Kale]

No. And do you ever talk to your mom about it?

[Ty]

My mom and I did have a conversation. Yeah. And she was pissed. She was pissed. And, you know, my mom is very abrasive. She says hurtful things. She. You know, but then once she got all that out, she kind of got to the point of like, I'm so sorry. You know, So I let her have her moment of she's pissed. I'll them. She's just very blunt about all that. And then she turned it around and was like, I'm so sorry. You know, like. And, I mean, it's. Yeah, it's just a lot. It's always something.

[Kate]

I know. Especially with. Especially with just the history of our parents. They were together, and then now they're not, and.

[Kale]

Oh, my God.

[Kate]

Y. Yeah. Hey, remember we were step siblings, you know, white trash. Over. Yeah.

[Ty]

Living in a trailer park.

[Kate]

Yeah. Like, so, like, the fact that they were married before, it's just like, our. Our parents. We would be lying if we said they weren't a part of our story. But just. But I think it's weird how the parents are kind of like, who. You know, they're like, oh, well, you're. You're doing it. It's like, no, dude, I'm just. Just telling the truth. Yeah. And you're. I'm sorry that, like, you know, MTV can't make you look like. Or put words in your mouth. You know what I mean? Like, you called daughter A. You're the one that. So it's like, I.

[Ty]

Especially for our type of show. Yeah. You did it all to yourself. I wasn't, you know, telling you what to say or call me A on tv. Like, that was you, not me.

[Kate]

Yeah. So I think it's just one of those things where it's like we have to create a safe distance with our parents. And I feel like we're. It took a minute. It took. It takes a while. Like, I feel like, to kind of create what is my safety net. Where am I comfortable? Went too far that time. I'll come back in. Like, it's just. It's kind of a constant evolving.

[Kale]

Well, I think humans are, like, creatures of habit. Right. And so sometimes chasing the chaos or. Or that fear of the unknown becomes the pattern, and that's sort of what we're used to.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And so anything normal or calm or constant sort of feels foreign. And you're like, wait a minute. Yeah, go back to the chaos where I'm comfortable.

[Kate]

Yeah, where's the grenade?

[Ty]

You know what's so funny is like I grew up in so much chaos my whole entire life, life. One of my biggest dreams was like to have my own place and it be safe and calm and nurturing. And so it's when I have chaos around, I tend to now just want to go home. We retreat, you know, I want to go home to my safe zone because I never felt safe as a kid, ever.

[Kale]

What was your childhood like? I know your mom was an alcoholic, but what is the relationship with your dad?

[Ty]

My dad.

[Kale]

Is he also an addict or.

[Ty]

No, no, no. My dad has always, you know, worked really hard. All the things. Of course, when I was growing up and I was younger, like a lot of my child memories are with my dad. I don't have a lot at my mom's house, all the ones being little. My moms are very traumatic, but they're.

[Kale]

They're separated. They were always. They were divorced.

[Ty]

Yeah, they were never married. My mom was 19. My dad was like 20 or 21 when they had me.

[Kale]

So you grew up living with your dad most of the time?

[Ty]

No, my mom. Mom. I lived with my mom.

[Kale]

So why didn't you live with your dad?

[Ty]

Because they separated when I was. Before I was even one, I think.

[Kale]

But if she was unstable and she was an alcoholic, why was there ever an option for you to go live with your dad?

[Ty]

I know my mom and dad went to court when I was 10, maybe a little younger than that. Yeah, 8, 8, 9 or 10. And my dad fought for a few years.

[Kate]

Was that after he moved to Florida or.

[Ty]

No, before he moved to Florida. Yeah. But my dad, he didn't do everything right, you know, he very much so got into a relationship with a woman who was very toxic. Gave me a lot of my self confidence issues. She was very mean to me. Emotionally abusive, not. I mean there were some physical things, but not like hitting, but cutting her hair. I think that's what I mean. I guess that's physical abuse. Would say tell me that I was fat and overweight and I couldn't eat certain things.

[Kale]

This was your stepmom?

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Are they still together?

[Ty]

No, but they were married for like 11 years.

[Kale]

Oh, that's a long time.

[Ty]

And so I was a kid and.

[Kate]

Throughout 11 years she was at.

[Ty]

I was going, but I was going. Yeah. And I would go to my dad's every other weekend and my dad would pick me up from School every Wednesday, and it would be just me and him, and we would go, like, on a lunch date or whatever. My dad is very regretful in the choices that he has made, and he has apologized numerous times. And, you know, know, I forgive him for that because he has shown me actions. You know, he makes it a point to be in my life. He calls me once or twice every every single week. And we'd have, you know, we talk on the phone and.

[Kate]

Yeah, there was an action after his. Sorry.

[Ty]

Yes. You know what I mean? Like, there was, like, actions. And so I really have, you know, I've forgiven him for that.

[Kale]

Are you his only child?

[Ty]

No.

[Kale]

So you have other siblings. So you have a brother from your mom.

[Kate]

You have five.

[Kale]

I have five siblings.

[Ty]

I have a brother.

[Kale]

And why am I just now learning this?

[Ty]

We don't have and none of us have a relationship. It's actually really sad. Yeah.

[Kale]

Even your little brother.

[Ty]

No. And he was the one I was closest with. So what it is, is on my mom's side, it's me. I have a sister and my youngest brother, Nick.

[Kale]

The sister is older or younger than you?

[Ty]

Younger, younger. She's middle. We're four years.

[Kale]

Are you the oldest of all your siblings? Okay.

[Ty]

No.

[Kale]

No.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, Andrew.

[Ty]

I have. Yeah. So on my mom's side, it's us three. It's me, my sister, and my brother. I'm the oldest, my sister's the middle, and my little brother's the youngest. On my dad's side, he had a son when he was like, 16 years old. He's four or five years older than me. And I didn't meet him until I was like, nine. Eight or nine.

[Kate]

How'd you meet him?

[Ty]

I remember waking up one day, and this kid was there, and I remember him looking over a bunk bed, and he was like, oh, this is your brother? Yeah.

[Kale]

So, like, the trauma. So I never said this story out loud.

[Ty]

Yeah. I mean, I feel like I have.

[Kate]

No, I know. You told me, like, one day I was my bunk bed and my brother.

[Ty]

Only Tyler. Probably only Tyler. And the sad thing about my brother is he, you know, he lived with a very not mentally well mother. My dad, she was a teen mom, obviously. My dad was 17. My dad know that he had a son for many years. Found out he had a son.

[Kale]

This just keeps getting worse.

[Ty]

Yeah. My brother now is very. It's sad. He's just. My dad has nothing to do with him, wants nothing to do with him because he is mentally ill, is an addict, and all of the things and you wonder why. And I feel bad for my brother. I was. I built a relationship with him when I was like, 12, 13 years old, and I fell in love with him. We were so close. We, you know, talked all the time. He lived with my dad, actually, for a while, for a few years when he was growing up. And then he got to the age of 18, and my dad said. His wife basically said he needs to get a job or he needs to leave. And my brother ended up leaving, and it's just been very toxic for him. But. And then on my dad's side, there's a little brother and my stepsister Amber, which was my dad.

[Kale]

Also have an Amber?

[Kate]

Yep.

[Kale]

Okay, so you both have an Amber.

[Kate]

Yep.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Ty]

Yeah. But my step. Steps. My stepsister is my dad's toxic ex wife's daughter.

[Kale]

Got it.

[Ty]

But her and I. It's funny because I don't have a relationship with any of my siblings except for her. Yeah. And they're divorced now. But I still. Ever since I was, you know, I think I was like three and she was four when they got married. So my whole life, she was my sister.

[Kale]

Was she also traumatized by her mom?

[Ty]

Very much so.

[Kale]

That. Okay. You know how people say, oh, like, you. You talk about trauma, and they call it trauma bonding, but that's like, not actually trauma bonding. Trauma bonding is when you go through the trauma together.

[Ty]

Right.

[Kale]

Whole thing. Do you think that that's sort of why, like, why you guys bonded the way that you did?

[Ty]

I think. I think being older is when we've gotten way closer. When we were younger, we used to fight and, you know, like, sisters would and stuff, but.

[Kate]

But I think it was more or less like, you know, you had to keep watching her have a life that you really wanted with your dad.

[Ty]

Yeah. So that's what made the sibling animosity.

[Kale]

You know, kind of thing, like a resentment almost.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

You didn't get to live with your dad full time, and she did.

[Ty]

Yeah. And my dad adopted her. So she has like my. You know.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

My. Our last name and everything.

[Kale]

Do they still have a relationship now?

[Ty]

Oh, yeah, they do. That's my dad's daughter. She has a daughter that's his granddaughter. You know, she. She doesn't have a relationship with her bio dad or anything. And so that's all she has known as my dad since the age of four. You know, but her and I have a very close relationship. But her mom was so, like, disgusting to her that she said one time. Time her mom looked at her because her boyfriend broke up with her and she said to her something to the fact of you're just jealous because all your boyfriends want me.

[Kate]

Like.

[Ty]

She is the loopy like she's she. When you meet this lady it's almost like she's up on pills 24 7. Yeah, she's airy out there. Says weird like it's just been lots of trauma on that side. But my sister has nothing to do with her mom. She can't stand her. Like she, you know, has cut her out of her life completely and actually.

[Kate]

She'S done great making her boundaries with her mom.

[Ty]

She, she does nothing to do with her but and her her and I are the closest. We're not even blood related.

[Tyler]

I have been trying desperately to regrow my hair and also just make it thicker. You should love your hair and that.

[Kale]

Can be hard to do, especially if.

[Tyler]

You'Re dealing with shedding or thinning. Neutr Foal is here to help their whole body approach to hair health works from the inside out so you can start loving your hair again this year. There's nothing holding you back from loving your hair again. Hair is really so much more than what's on the surface. It's a reflection of what is happening inside. So you guys should let full target the key root causes of your hair thinning and help you grow stronger, healthier strands from within. Neutropol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Neutrophil. And Neutrophil has multiple formulas that are tailored to give your hair exactly what they need to grow at the different stages like postpartum menopause, maybe different lifestyles or plant based diets. All of these things are going to factor into your root cause. A clinical study 6% of women reported improved hair growth after taking Neutropol Women hair growth supplement for six months. You can purchase online, no prescription required. Automated deliveries and free shipping keep you on track. Plus, with a Neutropol subscription you can save up to 20% and you'll have access to free naturopathic doctor consults and a headspace Meditation membership is included. Start your hair growth journey with Neutrophil for a limited time. Neutrophil is offering my listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. When you go to neutrful.com and enter code famous find out why over 4500100 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend neutrful for healthier hair neutrful.com it's spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code famous that's nutrafold.com promo code famous.

[Kale]

Through weight loss by hers, you can give yourself something to be excited about in 2025. You can spend the new year in control of your weight by losing up to an average of £9 in your first month. This is based on data that real hers customers have reported based on their personalized compounded GLP1 treatment plan plans. Let's face it, weight loss can feel overwhelming and that's why hers is changing the game. They provide access to GLP1 medications plus expert care, and they make your goals more achievable if you're looking for a weight loss solution that actually works. Weight loss by hers provides the access to the GLP1 medications and hers is transforming women's healthcare by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed. HERS offers a holistic weight loss program with personalized solutions including compounded GLP1 weekly injections featuring the same active ingredient as Ozempic and Wegovy, and oral medication kits. After submitting an online intake form, a licensed medical provider will determine what plan is best for you and if prescribed, your program will include the medication, ongoing care and online support, all at one low cost. Weight loss plans are more affordable through hers with compounded GLP1 injection starting at just $165 a month with a 12 month plan paid upfront for new subscribers, no hidden fees and no membership fees. So if you guys have been struggling with your weight loss journey, it's time to find the best option that works you through hers. Start your initial free online visit today at forhers.com BarelyFamous that's F O R H E-R-S.com BarelyFamous for your personalized weight loss treatment options. For hers.com BarelyFamous.

[Nordstrom Ad]

Nordstrom is here to help you dress in a way that feels totally you with the best spring style from boho dresses and matching sets to must have bags and sneakers. Discover thousands of items from lots of your favorite brands like Mango Reformation, Veronica Beard and Farm Rio. It's easy too, with free shipping and returns in store. Order pickup and more. Shop today in stores [e-mail] I'm still.

[Kale]

Just so fascinated that I didn't like I. I feel like you have. You have one sister and that's it.

[Kate]

Yep, one sister.

[Kale]

I knew that I had no idea. I knew you had a little brother from your mom.

[Ty]

Yep.

[Kale]

I'm just sort of floored.

[Ty]

Sorry I threw all that on you, by the way.

[Kale]

I'm just thinking about how addiction has impacted all three of us, and none of us have went down that road, thank God. Isn't that so interesting, though? Like, I don't know. I know addicts who came from really, really wealthy, well to do families and they're struggling on the streets right now. And then we came from very tumultuous.

[Ty]

Yes.

[Kale]

Families and childhoods, and we did not go down that path. And I wonder what that was. What, what the difference is.

[Ty]

And I think it's. And I think it's sad because you're like, you know, I didn't go down that path. My stepsister didn't go down that path. And some of my siblings did. Like, my sister on my mom's side, she was an addict for a long period of time. Addicted to pills, addicted to cocaine.

[Kale]

Okay, so you've experienced addiction, your parent, your sibling and husband's family, A few of your siblings?

[Ty]

Yeah, my oldest brother, he. He addiction problem. He's actually been sober just going on two years now, most recently. And I like applaud him for that. My brother on my dad's side, the littlest one, he's definitely addicted to weed, you know, so it's like there's. Yeah. Addiction runs rampant on both sides of our family. That's why we have to be very careful when we talk. You know, we talk to our kids openly about all the things, which is.

[Kate]

Why I think we've done such. We. We've focused so much on like, like, okay, let's explore the trauma so we understand it better, so that way we can know exactly what not to do with our own kids. And I think that's what people get kind of confused. Like. Well, we've heard it all the time. Like, oh, you guys are just always talking about your trauma. It's like, well, listen, it's important though, because that's what, that's what we need to get that all up.

[Kale]

What else are you gonna. You are undoing years, generations? Yeah, I mean, we're talking like over a decade worth of trauma from addiction and everything else. So it's going to take just as long or longer to undo and unpack that and digest that.

[Kate]

I think people don't really get intergenerational trauma. They don't get that like your mom, then your. It's a ripple effect and it has to stop somewhere. So we had to we had to make.

[Kale]

All you do is talk about your trump. What, like, how else that's what people.

[Kate]

Say or that we're trauma bonded. And it's like, okay, I'll be honest with you. I'm not denying the fact that we're trauma bonded, but I feel like there's a negative viewpoint of that. And then it's also just a truth and a fact matter of that. Yes, adoption is traumatized. Trauma. Yeah. Our parents. You know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, and honestly, I'm like.

[Ty]

If this is trauma bonded, then I'm glad I'm in it.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You know, but we've all. You know, but I think. And I don't think people understand, but before cameras came around, you know, and ever called, caught us where we were at in our lives, Ty and I, we did bond on a form of just like, damn, like, your life's crazy, my life's crazy. And we.

[Kale]

But that's bonding over. That's like bonding over the traumas similarity almost. That's not trauma. There's a difference.

[Ty]

Yeah, right. And so it was like, we very much could talk to each other and.

[Kale]

Relate to each other, but then y'all were trauma bonded by the adoption process and going through.

[Kate]

We acknowledge that and we're like, but I think people kind of have this negative connotation with, oh, you're traumatized. It's like, well, listen, when you go through life, like, talk to any, you know, married couple who's been married for 50 plus years, I guarantee they've bonded through trauma together as a couple. It's inevitable, Right? I mean, it's part of life. So 100.

[Ty]

And also, you can ask Dr. Mike Dow. Yeah. Wait, he's our therapist.

[Kate]

He's the one that I did psychedelic therapy with.

[Ty]

Yeah. We need to talk.

[Kale]

Time out. We have to talk about this. It's ketamine, right?

[Kate]

Ketamine, yes.

[Kale]

Tell me about this, because I thought ketamine was like the zombie drug.

[Kate]

Remember, kids?

[Ty]

No. He freaked me out the first time when he said he was gonna do. I said, horse drink laser. I'm like, you're gonna be horse shrink?

[Kale]

Do people get high off that?

[Ty]

People can. Yeah. On the street.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Kale]

It's like, yeah, but there is. Is it like fentanyl where there's like a medical use for it and then a street.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So I'm thinking that you were like using the street drug to.

[Kate]

Yeah, man.

[Kale]

Medicate yourself. And I was like, I don't know if we should go down that path.

[Kate]

No, honestly, I think it's important to talk about because there's been so much research done with psychedelic therapy in general and all the data that's coming out.

[Kale]

Did you talk to Becky about this because she used to microdose?

[Kate]

No, but. No.

[Ty]

Oh, really?

[Kate]

Okay, so.

[Kale]

Excuse me.

[Kate]

Psilocybin mushrooms. Okay. Yes.

[Kale]

Okay, so you guys should talk about that another, Another time. But so is it like that?

[Kate]

It's exactly like that. You're. You're kind of hooked up. They, they, they, they give you the ketamine and it's, it's guided.

[Kale]

It's like a professional.

[Kate]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm in a zero gravity chair. Blindfold. Music and do you ever.

[Kale]

Do you feel different or is it just. Oh, he's like conscious changes. He's high as he's high.

[Ty]

Oh, for sure.

[Kale]

What does it look like?

[Ty]

I've never done it. I'm just curious.

[Kale]

What does he look like?

[Ty]

When he came home, he was totally fine.

[Kale]

Wait, you weren't there?

[Ty]

No.

[Kale]

You just got up. Medically, professionally.

[Ty]

But if you look at.

[Kate]

The situation in, in a therapeutic environment with a, with a doctor.

[Ty]

Doctor's therapist.

[Kate]

Who's a therapist, whatever, and, and what happens is you kind of create this, this portal, whatever you want to call it, to tap into all the subconscious in your head. And so you go in there with a really big intention. Like, I spent two weeks doing pre psyche, like going into, like, what we're gonna tackle. And I think for me, like, the only thing that I really got out of it was that I was able to visualize myself healing and comforting my younger self visually. So now when I meditate, because I have to meditate every day or else I'm gonna lose my mind.

[Ty]

Can you explain what that was, though? Like, you literally saw your older self.

[Kate]

I literally saw my older self myself. And I was a little boy and I was crying about my dad or whatever. Two different ages. One I was 8 and one when I was 11. And I literally was like, me as I am now say. And I just gathered both of them. It was. And it was. This is all visual. Obviously I'm, you know, tripping.

[Kale]

But you knew you were tripping. Like.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Kale]

Like, you know when you get high, like when you smoke. Have you ever smoked weed?

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Oh, I just wasn't sure. Like, so when I would get high, I would be like, can this go away? Like, I'm tired now. Like, I'm over.

[Kate]

Oh, no, you don't want this to go away. You want to stay in Here.

[Kale]

But does that scare you? Did it ever scare you? Like, make you want to keep using that stuff, that type of.

[Kate]

No, no, because it's not. Ketamine's not like you don't get addicted. You can't get addicted. It's like. It's like. It's almost like you can't get addicted to psilocybin. You can't get addicted to LSD because it's. It's just too much. You can't. It's like, I mean, if you are. You're fucking permanently damage your brain. Like, you can't do that.

[Kale]

You can't get addicted to those things.

[Ty]

I think people can get it, but I think what he means is, like, it takes so much mentally, emotionally, and physically, you don't want to do it every single day.

[Kale]

So it's not sort of like micro dosing's different.

[Kate]

I'm talking taking a doses where you are like, oh, yeah, like, yeah, no, because he was.

[Kale]

Have you?

[Kate]

Absolutely.

[Kale]

Have you?

[Ty]

Yes. And I hated every moment.

[Kate]

She hated it.

[Kale]

She absolutely did it together.

[Ty]

Yes.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah. She hated it.

[Kale]

No, wait, no, listen, listen. What's going on? What the.

[Ty]

Is.

[Kate]

Okay, listen.

[Kale]

Is that the thing you put on your tongue?

[Ty]

Acid.

[Kate]

It's acid. Lsd. Psychedelic, right?

[Ty]

Different than mushrooms.

[Kate]

Psilocybin's natural. LSD is not. So listen, so that's what actually inspired me to go do ketamine and actually take it as a. In a therapeutic, not recreational use.

[Kale]

No, no, because there's so many. We have a lot to unpack here.

[Kate]

Let's unpack.

[Ty]

Okay. Start one by one.

[Kale]

We're gonna go back to the ketamine, but first I need to know where you were and why you tried ls, like, what opportunity presented.

[Ty]

So we had 17. Yeah, we have a friend named Tom. Yeah, my best friend, definitely into psychedelics.

[Kale]

And he was like, here, I have lsd. And you were like, okay.

[Ty]

Yeah. So it was us and a big group of friends, and we lived in our trailer. Which tv? Yeah, we lived in our trailer. And we were all like, all right, we're gonna take it. You know, not knowing that it takes like an hour or so to kick.

[Kate]

In or that it lasts for like seven hours.

[Ty]

But so then all of a sudden we're like, well, let's go. Look, it hasn't kicked in yet.

[Kale]

What does it look like?

[Ty]

It's just like a little piece of paper, a little square piece of paper, and you put it on your tongue and it didn't kick in for a while. And we're all like, well, we should all probably like eat before this kicks in, you know? So me and my friend Casey. Me and Casey. Me and Casey Go to McDonald's to get McDonald's for everybody.

[Kale]

And it kicked in.

[Ty]

But I'm sitting in there. No. And I remember looking out the window and saying, casey. He's like, yeah. I'm like, the clouds are moving. He's like, they always move. I go, no, dude, like supersonic speed clouds, you know? Know. And then we get back to the trailer park. It has hit Everybody. We had McDonald's every. Nobody ate.

[Kate]

No one ate McDonald's, cuz you can't.

[Kale]

Eat nothing for seven hours.

[Ty]

I was so paranoid. I was hiding in the bedroom in the dark. I thought I was gonna sleep.

[Kale]

You hated it.

[Ty]

Hated it. I'm like, I'm gonna go to. I need to go to sleep. I need to go to sleep.

[Kale]

Sleep. That's how I am with weed. Like, I cannot get up because it just let me get it. Just stop. Just make it stop.

[Ty]

But the problem is, is that you cannot sleep.

[Kate]

You can't get off the roller coaster once you're strapped. Trapped in.

[Ty]

People were laughing in the living room. And I felt the laughter. I felt the sounds were vibrating through my body, dude, like the greatest time of my life.

[Kate]

I'm freaking out of a discovery. So I'm like, where is she at? I go in the back room and.

[Ty]

She'S like in the dark with a.

[Kate]

Blanket above her head, like up to here. She's like, what's wrong with you? I hate it. I said, can you hate it?

[Kale]

Can you act normal on it?

[Ty]

No, you just.

[Kate]

You just succumb. So surrender. Throw your hands up. You're really good in control.

[Kale]

Got it.

[Kate]

And so. And I walked in the room and she said, I hate it. And I was like, I can't be in here, okay? And I like. And that was it. And then she would. Eventually came eventually, yeah.

[Ty]

When Casey dragged me outside and I was like, this is beautiful.

[Kate]

You gotta go outside. It can't be a little tin box, but.

[Ty]

And I have a vivid remember of sitting on the couch, so paranoid. And Tom's looking at me like, it's.

[Nordstrom Ad]

Just a drug, man.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, Tom, leave it alone. Stop.

[Kale]

So you hated it. You loved it. And you were like, I'm definitely microdosing on Cash Ketamine.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

Imagine an app designed to make you use it less. Seems counterproductive, no? Well, apartments.com's instant alert feature works exactly that way. Instead of scanning rental listings a million times a day. Simply set and forget your search to whatever you're looking for in a place and let apartments.com do the rest. From pet friendly apartments to balconies to in unit ACS, Apartments.com's powerful search tools let you know when the perfect combination of features you're seeking is lit listed so you don't have to power through rental descriptions one by one. With more rental listings than anywhere else, Apartments.com's instant alerts mean you can spend less time online looking for the perfect place and more time doing you apartments.com the place to find a place.

[Nordstrom Ad]

Nordstrom is here to help you dress in a way that feels totally you. With the best spring style. From boho dresses and matching sets to must have bags and sneakers. Discover thousands of items from lots of your favorite brands like Mango Reformation, Veronica Beard, and Farm Rio. It's easy too, with free shipping and returns in store order pickup and more. Shop today in stores [e-mail].

[Ty]

Years and years later.

[Kate]

Yeah, I was 17. I didn't do ketamine till a year ago. Two years ago.

[Kale]

That was recent.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, yeah. They covered it on this show. TV show.

[Kale]

Everyone told me to ask you about it because I talked about ketamine on my podcast because I had no idea what the it was and I didn't know what it. So now we can talk about ketamine. Okay. So you go into this environment where it's controlled, there's professional, you are strapped in, you have like, what is.

[Ty]

You have therapy sessions before you even do the ketamine therapy.

[Kate]

So you have intentions, and then you what the purpose of it is to go into. Tap into your subconscious of where your neural pathways have been built in a way that are not serving you.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Kate]

So you go back and you rewire your neural pathways in a different way, which it worked like a charm. The fact that I can go immediately, I can meditate right now if I wanted to, and I can go into this visual and it's like the most warming, peaceful hug you've ever had. It's like, it's hard to.

[Kale]

How many times did you have to do that to get to where you are now?

[Kate]

The ketamine?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Only once.

[Ty]

You've done it twice. You did one in Michigan.

[Kate]

Yeah, well, I did one in Michigan to kind of test it out to see what it like. And then once I realized, like, oh, wow, like, they had to actually wake me up, like, Tyler, you're done now. And I'm like, well, I don't want to go back. Like, what the hell. But. And then that's when it got. That's when it kind of sparked in me. All right, I need to look into this like, more. And that's why I found Dr. Mike, who's a professional. Years of research, wrote a book about it, like, whatever. And that's why I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it with you. You. This little mission was different. Yeah. So that's.

[Kale]

Did you go with him?

[Ty]

No.

[Kate]

But you came to.

[Ty]

I came to visit at the end and we had a session, me, him, and Dr. Mike about like what he found out about himself and us even.

[Kale]

Came up and do you know if you said things in therapy while you were on the ketamine?

[Kate]

No. He. Well, he starts talking to you as you're going under, but then eventually I'm like, I don't even hear him. And that's when you know, it's kind of just. All right. Experience whatever is going on.

[Kale]

I don't know that I want to discover the things that I don't remember.

[Ty]

It's.

[Kate]

No, it's really scary. I will be honest.

[Kale]

You, like, I do not want to know.

[Kate]

No, it brought up. It brought up stuff that like, I had to re. Not relive it, but I relived it from an outside. I almost felt like a ghost in the corner.

[Kale]

Like an out of body experience.

[Kate]

Yeah. Yes, very out of body. Watching me get abused, watching me. Me suicide. Watching me like do all these things.

[Kale]

That I didn't know. These things.

[Kate]

Yeah, well, I mean now you do, but. But like it takes. You really like stuff that. Because honestly we're. We're. Our brain just does things to try to protect ourselves. Right. So we will like, you know, we'll fortify it in a way where it's like, no, we don't remember that memory. We don't. Don't go in there.

[Kale]

Walk it out.

[Kate]

Yeah. So this really. Which actually manifests physically. Anxiety, depression, mood swings. I have a belief and this is just me thinking, but like I really believe that those hidden stuff in subconscious actually presents itself as like bipolar. Like it. It messes with your neural pathway that affects everything in your life. So when you. When I would do was doing it, it was like an out of body experience where I was like watching myself be abused and all these traumatic things. And then at the very end of it, I was able to kind of comfort those ages.

[Kale]

When you say abused, you mean like fit.

[Kate]

Like sexually abused.

[Kale]

You were sexually abused?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And have you talked about that before?

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And I actually wrote A letter and stuff. And the part of my. Part of my. So you do the ketamine treatment, then afterwards there's post treatment, like homework you have to do in therapy sessions and therapy sessions afterwards to kind of, you know. Yeah. Break everything down. But one of the. One of the things that my psychiatrist was like, this is what you need to do is write a letter to your. Your younger self. And so I. I did that. Hugely impactful. Like, it was like, whoa. I was able to, like, let it go. Burn the letter better. And it just felt freeing. And so, yeah, it was just like, it was the best thing I ever did. And I did years of therapy, but I swear to God, this one ketamine session equaled, like, five years worth of therapy for me as far as just healing.

[Kale]

So do they say to continue doing it or do they say it's like sort of at your own discretion?

[Kate]

At your own discretion.

[Ty]

Yeah, but. And some people say, like, hey, I have to go and do a session like, every six months. Or sometimes you get to the point where it's like, oh, I only do it once a year or once every three years.

[Kate]

Depends on how much you've done. Unpack.

[Ty]

Yeah, but there, I mean, just the statistics alone, it's literally curing people's ptsd.

[Kate]

Curing it.

[Ty]

Curing anxiety, depressive orders, like, disorders. Yeah, like, it's literally curing it. And they have proof, like, statistic proof of it.

[Kate]

And mushrooms are right up there. Psilocybin will be prescribed in the next 10 years to people instead of antidepressant.

[Kale]

He swears by mushrooms. Like, swears by them. I had. We weren't friends for five years, so I. I missed that chapter of her life. But she was telling me about how just like, microdosing really, really helped. So I wish I would have known that. Yeah. Well, now, you know, next time, you guys, we could do like a swap where it's like, both of us and both of you. Yeah, L.A. yeah. You guys could talk about it. I've never experienced anything with psychedelics before. I smoked weed and I hate the feeling of it. Like, I just. I don't love it. It. It.

[Ty]

I took mushrooms, too, and I hate it.

[Kate]

No, there. And there are. There are some people who, like, I feel like, who have more of a. Anxiety issues that they don't like not being in control of their body.

[Ty]

They hate it. I hate it.

[Kate]

And so me, I love it. Free me, mine I want to surrender.

[Kale]

Mine is more of like, I don't know how I'm being perceived.

[Kate]

That's lack of control.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Yeah. Like, I don't know what I'm. Like if I look stupid, if I sound stupid. I don't want other people to see me that way.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So I can't. I can't relax, I guess.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

No, it's anxiety.

[Kale]

Oh. I was diagnosed with anxiety, OCD tendencies and cosmic coping.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So when I feel like my life is out of control, I clear surfaces. I have to, like, clear countertops, clean.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And then I was. Did I say I was diagnosed as an adult with adhd?

[Ty]

Oh, no, no.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I was a kid.

[Tyler]

Were you?

[Kate]

Yeah. Oh, that's no Ritalin for me, though.

[Kale]

My mom was like, I'm not medicated.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Mainly because I get pregnant so much. But.

[Kate]

But yeah, I. Yeah, ADHD and bipolar, which I question, but. Well, you.

[Kale]

You think you were diagnosed with.

[Kate]

Yeah, and they gave me like a really intense medication and I looked it up and I. I was like, I'm too scared to do that. I'd rather do natural ways that I can, like ketamine. I wanted to do. I just didn't want to do the. This anti psychotic medication that really has a lot of side effects.

[Kale]

Like, I would have never. I don't know enough about bipolar disorder to know, but I would have never.

[Kate]

I didn't. That's why I asked her when I got diagnosed, I said, you. You know me better than anyone. You live with me.

[Ty]

And I told him, I can totally see.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Oh, you see it?

[Kate]

Yeah, I can.

[Ty]

I can sometimes. And some. And sometimes I brought up to him, like, do you think you're having a manic episode? Episode? Do you think. You know, because there's times where out of nowhere he can't sleep for months.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

And he struggles with it. There's times where he's just angry and doesn't know why.

[Kale]

But look at everything that you said in the past 50 minutes. Of course you're angry sometimes because I just feel like life has not been fair to you guys, to either one of you. Yeah.

[Kate]

I mean, okay, life's not been fair, but at the same time, look at the blessings that are around. I mean, we've literally now. But. Yeah, well, yeah, now. But I feel like.

[Kale]

But just because you have blessings now should not discredit all of the trauma and all of the really shitty experiences you've had as a child.

[Kate]

Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

[Ty]

And so. And I don't blame him as a wife. And he's. You know, when he said, I would personally love to try all of the Natural resources. There are to me. I said I support you in that. Like, I do not blame you at all. Now I'm different. Medication saved my life.

[Kale]

Absolutely.

[Ty]

You know, and I still take it to this day. That absolutely saved my life. Life. If I wasn't such a. And scared and have anxiety, maybe I'd try some ketamine. No, that scares me because like, I like going back to anxiety. I like to be in control of my body. When I'm not in control, I freak the out.

[Kate]

So yeah, I don't know what you're.

[Ty]

So I support. So that's your own stuff you do. What makes you think kind of.

[Kate]

I mean, listen, me and her, we both have, you know, mental things, whatever, but. And look at how we both differently. We kind of tackle them differently. I think that's what's really important is that there's not a one all for everybody. Like everyone's got a different path for how they're gonna heal their trauma and stuff. And so. And it's okay to. To just do things differently. Whatever works for you.

[Kale]

So I mean, what was your mom like growing up did. Was she sort of always a support system for you and did she just wasn't there?

[Kate]

She had to work? No, no, she had to work two jobs. I mean, I was like. I was. I was like making grilled cheese at five by that. Like I was doing my own thing. Like I was.

[Kale]

She's like trying to provide.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Mom and dad.

[Kate]

Yeah, she just worked mortgage and then she did bar in the weekend. So literally seven days a week. Week. She was working, you know, so she.

[Ty]

Was just trying to survive.

[Kate]

Yeah, she was just trying to survive. So I think for me it was just. I got. I was by myself constantly. So that's what kind of what I mean, she was absent. She was like abusive. She wasn't like, you know, she was absent.

[Kale]

But not because. Not by choice, but purely out of not being able to provide for you guys.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Watch this clip of someone recently on Tick Tock. And it was this older woman. I'll have to find it. Don't even remember her name. I have to give credit where credit is due, but she basically said that she wasn't a good mom. She wasn't a nurturing mom because she had to be the sole provider of her. Of her household. And as a single mom and you know, dad wasn't in the picture, she became, you know, she was absent, not. Not necessarily by choice, but by default. And she couldn't be the nurturing parent. She had to be the sole provider. And I just think that for sort of all of our situations in some way or another, whether they're an. An addict or not, all of our. One of our parents has all. Like, your mom. Your mom, to some degree, was a provider for you. And my mom, you know, she. She struggled a lot with her. Her own addictions and her alcoholism, but she also had to be the sole provider because I didn't have a dad. So the times that I lived with her, she couldn't have been present if she wanted to be.

[Kate]

Right. That's kind of where my mom couldn't have been present even if she wanted to be. But I think it's one of those things where it's like, don't you find a little bit. Not more or less like. But you. You have. I have a little. A lot of more sympathy for my parents at my age now.

[Kale]

Even your dad.

[Kate]

O. And through healing, just like, where I'm like, wow, like, you were literally just a young kid figuring out too.

[Kale]

See, I don't have that. I don't share that same experience. I hold so much resentment for my mom. But when other people like you guys tell me about your experience with addiction, I have more empathy for people that have addiction that are not directly impacting me.

[Kate]

Do you feel like that's to protect yourself, though? Because being angry is a lot easier than being vulnerable.

[Kale]

Yeah. Because, like, when I talked to Macy about Ryan, and I had so much empathy for him, and I have so much empathy for Butch and for your mom because it doesn't directly impact me. But my mom, she was supposed to be the provider for me. She was supposed to be the nurturer. She was supposed to be my safety. So, like, I don't have that same empathy for her. And I think, too, because I become a mom and I'm so involved with my kids, it makes me very, very resentful.

[Kate]

Yeah. But you.

[Ty]

And I went and I went through that.

[Kate]

It's easier.

[Kale]

It's powerful.

[Kate]

I know.

[Kale]

Macy was telling me to go to Allen on.

[Ty]

Yeah, I know.

[Kate]

I've been told that to my whole.

[Kale]

I've never gone.

[Kate]

I've never gone.

[Ty]

I've never gone either.

[Kale]

We should just go together.

[Kate]

Should we just, like, do it?

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kale]

You guys. Macy, let's just dive right in.

[Ty]

Seriously.

[Kale]

I asked Lux the other day. I was talking to him about my mom, and he goes, where's your mom? In hell. Because he, like, I was like, she's dead to me. And she. He was like, yeah, in hell. I was like, wow, interesting. It's like my anger is seeping down into my kids without even realizing and recognizing.

[Kate]

So maybe just try to, like, look at that for a minute.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Like your anger is.

[Kale]

It was very funny, but it was 100. And it's not just about my mom. Right. Like, I think just as parents in general, like, our anger, our happiness, our, you know, every feeling that we feel and we put on display, our kids are soaking that up.

[Ty]

Oh, yes, they are.

[Kate]

So, yeah.

[Kale]

100 all the time.

[Kate]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kale]

So when Macy was like, go to Al Anon. And she was like, telling me about it, I was like, okay, well, luck saying what he said. And now this. I guess I'll go, okay, fine.

[Ty]

They do online ones, too. That's what she said.

[Kale]

She's like, you don't have to put your mic on. You don't put your camera on. You can literally just show up and listen. And she said, it's more for us than it is for them. And I thought that was really interesting. I also think it's interesting that, like, not only are we tied together by the show and, like, growing up on TV together, but also our ties to addiction, like, it has affected all three of us and Macy to some degree. And I just think. I don't know, there's just so much power in the ties that we have. Have. If that makes sense.

[Kate]

No. Yeah, it does. Because now we're all raising kids.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And now we have to stop it with us.

[Ty]

Do you ever freak out about that? I don't know how you are on.

[Kale]

Time, but freak out about, oh, I don't care.

[Ty]

Okay. Do you ever freak out about one of your children becoming an addict?

[Kale]

I think about it.

[Kate]

Yeah. We. Yeah.

[Kale]

No, and how you went. Yeah. Small children. I'm like. I'm actually, like, nervous.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Like, terrified.

[Kale]

Even when I. When I got my wisdom teeth out, when I've had cosmetic surgery, when I anything. I don't take medication and I'm. Because I'm terrified.

[Ty]

Right?

[Kale]

So like, even taking 800 milligrams of ibuprofen freaks me the fuck out. And I just think about my kids. You know, we all try drugs at some point, right? Like, I tried LSD and weed. I smoked weed. You know, it scares me to think that my kids. I don't have an addictive personality, so I've never really been sort of addicted to anything. But it scares me to know that, genetically speaking, it could pass on to my kids.

[Ty]

Right.

[Kale]

And it freaks me out. That's something that I thought of when I started having Kids. No, we didn't either.

[Kate]

Either.

[Kale]

You know, in the last, I would say, five years, where I'm really starting to think about what that looks like.

[Kate]

Especially Isaac. He's. I mean, he's.

[Kale]

I'm not. You know what? I'm not worried about him. I'm not even necessarily worried about Lincoln. It's more the younger ones.

[Kate]

Why is that?

[Kale]

Of mental illnesses.

[Kate]

Okay, so meaning, like.

[Kale]

Like, I have struggled with depression, anxiety, things like that. My mom is diagnosed bipolar. She has addiction. So I'm. And then also on their dad's side have a history of. On their dad's side as well. And so I think about the. The double effect. Right. Like, it's coming from both side instead of just one. And so I worry.

[Kate]

Okay, I see what I'm saying.

[Kale]

More against them.

[Ty]

Right. Same with our kids.

[Kale]

And I know it sounds crazy, but that's why I literally put them in every single sport they asked to play.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Kale]

Because I'm like, if you guys are so busy getting, like, your. Your dopamine hits your. What is it? Serotonin.

[Ty]

Serotonin.

[Kale]

And then adrenal adrenaline. If you get that from other things, you won't seek it out somewhere else. You're so scared of them being bored and sort of that taking them down the wrong path.

[Kate]

And I also. Well, I think. I think. I think, though it's interesting to point out that, like, a lot of addict. Doesn't happen because you experiment. It happens because you have unresolved trauma yourself. So as long as you're vigilant in watching your children and how they act and what they react to and what could possibly be traumatic for them, and you just, you know, handle it.

[Kale]

There's so many questions I have surrounding addiction because my mom came from a really good family and nobody else struggled with addiction. So, like, how did that happen to her?

[Kate]

Something happened to her.

[Ty]

Yeah, but.

[Kale]

But really.

[Kate]

But really? Yeah. Because you don't know addict. You. You can't find an addict who is not trying to heal trauma or escape from some. Something happening.

[Ty]

Yes.

[Kate]

I don't know what it is.

[Kale]

I would want. I would need to pick Ryan's brain. Because I. I think I'm. I don't even know if I've ever met him, but, like, what would lead him down to the road? Because what I've seen and what I.

[Kate]

Know of what I've seen, I don't.

[Kale]

I only know what I've seen on TV or on social media. And I thought that he came from a really great family, so, like, what could have happened to you?

[Ty]

All addicts are trying to numb themselves from something.

[Kate]

That's what separates you. You don't have an active personality because you don't go that route with it. I think in a way, I feel like it's easier for us as traumatized kids. It's easier for us to go. Let's just be like, it's easier to escape through.

[Kale]

Never had a thought to be like, let me just try heroin.

[Kate]

Yeah, right. No, exactly.

[Kale]

I'm traumatized. Let me go shoot up. Like that just has never computed for me.

[Kate]

Yeah, me either.

[Kale]

Even drinking nothing. Like, I've never been a drinker.

[Kate]

But I think it's interesting you point out like. Like for Ryan, for instance, the outside looks really good. Big house, beautiful family, you know, but there's so many things. Like most of the addicts that she was in rehab with. Wealthy. Came from amazing families, trust fund kids.

[Kale]

Like, you don't think it's just like them partying too hard and it's like, oh, I want to get, like, do a lot.

[Ty]

Sometimes that can happen. Yes, but I'm telling you.

[Kate]

But then what happens in rehab?

[Kale]

What?

[Kate]

Unpack it.

[Kale]

My best friend from high school is. Is. You'll have to look it up. It's called Ken Kensington. It's a up place by us. And that's where she's at. And I saw an interview on YouTube of someone like, interviewing her on in Kensington. And I just think about the family that she came from, and it was a really great family. And like, I've been to her house and like, we had sleepovers and like, I just can't under. Like, I. She never talked about trauma. She never talked about anything ever. I never saw anything happen to her. So, like, I can't, I think, understand it from that. And then I think about my mom and I'm like, I just don't understand.

[Ty]

But you know what also too is sometimes people can have trauma and they speak about it. And people look at them and say how that's not even that bad, how's that trauma? But to them, it's the most intense thing they've ever experienced in their lives, even if it seems small to us. So we're like, what really to them, it's the biggest issue of their lives or one of them.

[Kate]

I think a big misconception about trauma is trauma is not what happened. It's how you reacted to what happened. It's not the event that happened. It's how you perceive that you behaved in result of that thing happening. So Like a dog dying. Like, oh my gosh. Like people be, oh, my God, it's a dog.

[Ty]

Right. You're only set for four, four years. But a person could be like, no.

[Kate]

That'S like, it depends on the person. So it's not. Trauma's not what happened, it's how.

[Ty]

That's why in treatment they always say, don't judge people for their trauma. Because trauma at the end of the day is trauma. Even if it seems small to you, it's big to them.

[Kate]

I think comparing trauma is stupid. I think it's.

[Kale]

I don't mean to compare. I just, I don't understand it. So it's really like I, I have a hard time.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kale]

With it.

[Kate]

Okay, so are you curious to know?

[Kale]

Yeah, no, I want to know, like, I want to know how you got addicted. Did you get surgery and then you were on Percocet and then it just like spiral.

[Kate]

A body like, dependency thing. Yeah. Because I think, I think opiates a little different. Different ball game. Right. Because that's like literally, physically your brain saying, hey, we're gonna die if you don't get this opiate in you.

[Ty]

But if you're talking like alcohol, heroin, heroin, cocaine, like hardcore drugs. I mean, nine out of 10, I'm like a major intervention lover. Every single episode you watch, it's either divorce, it's a sexual abuse. It is like a major not having their parents, it's always linked to trauma.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

That's so interesting.

[Kate]

And even the ones that come with great families, something happened. Something happened that may seem small.

[Ty]

So maybe one day.

[Kale]

So what's not trauma to me was trauma to them.

[Ty]

So who knows, maybe one day you might find out. But happened to your mom.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kale]

But even then you're like, I'm going to go drink, or it's like a gradual thing. Like, I, I don't.

[Ty]

It could be gradual for somebody.

[Kate]

But I think it's okay to admit that, hey, you're stronger than your mom, but to be curious enough to know why your mom went that route.

[Kale]

Does she even know?

[Kate]

I mean, I don't know.

[Kale]

Maybe not.

[Kate]

Because why would she still be using it? You know? I mean, so obviously she has unresolved, healed things as well.

[Ty]

And because through my, through my therapy, there was stuff that came out that I was like, wow, I never would have looked at that as trauma.

[Kate]

Right.

[Kale]

I think that my whole life was that way. And I was like, oh, I thought this happened to him.

[Ty]

Yes. And yeah. And there were some things where I was like, holy shit. Like that is traumatic as hell. And I needed therapy to really realize those things, you know, and sometimes our parents, like, my mom hasn't, maybe your mom hasn't, but they don't go to therapy to figure it out what was it for them either. So that's why sometimes they don't go.

[Kale]

To therapy that I know of.

[Kate]

See, I think what separates us is that we actively are trying to figure this out. And I think staying curious about your own journey and why you do the things you. You do will lead to healing. It's. It's inevitable. You just got to stay curious and not get hardened and not just, you know, label it and let it go.

[Kale]

Right.

[Kate]

You got to keep evolving, for sure.

[Ty]

And also, I think from a young age, I always had a drive of my kids will never have this. I'm going to. Like, I always had that thought process. I always wanted to be a mom and I wanted to do things differently. So I just lived by that. I feel like you're given two paths when you grow up in households like us. It's either I go down the same path or worse as them, or I do completely opposite.

[Kale]

Yeah, I don't. I. I think luckily I just didn't get the addictive gene because otherwise I think I would have. I had access to all this stuff, you know what I mean? And I just. I was so traumatized by how my mom was as a person when she was under the influence that I was just repulsed. Me more than I don't even know how to. And I. I think also just like being around people who took me in when my mom was not in her best state of mind. Yeah, was helpful, but I'm glad that we got to talk about it.

[Ty]

Yeah, me too.

[Kale]

It feels like therapy.

[Ty]

It does, it does.

[Kale]

Podcasting can feel like therapy. Right? So where can people find your podcast and where can people find you social media?

[Kate]

Kate and Ty, Break it down is.

[Ty]

All of our social medias. Tick Tock, Instagram, Twitter, anywhere, and Spotify, Apple.

[Kate]

I don't know where you listen.

[Kale]

Well, thanks for coming on Barely Famous.

[Ty]

Thanks for.

[Kate]

Thanks for having us.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

All right. I may not be as funny as Nikki Laser.

I want to pitch a series of, like, calendars where men are just crying in a therapist's office or punching a pillow and working out their anger towards their dad.

But I do have my moments. I actually have full conversations with the moon.

[Ty]

Yes.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

I try to keep it pretty balanced on this podcast. A little fun dance between comedy therapy, self medicating. Oh, and sorry if you haven't guessed. Hi, I'm Kaitlyn Bristow, host of off the Vine Podcast, where we like to just keep things loose and keep them raw and keep them real. Like when we have listeners call in and give confessions and then that.

[Kale]

That glass of wine progressed into me becoming a unicorn for them.

[Ty]

So.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

But we do, and I promise you this, try to keep it honest and vulnerable. So jump on the wagon, not off. Grab your favorite bottle of wine, preferably spade and sparrows, and join the vinos. Have yourself a time. The off the Vine Podcast is available wherever you get your podcasts.

[Pluto TV Ad]

Are you looking for your next case? Pluto TV has all your favorite crime dramas streaming for gonna need some backup. Which means suspense is free.

[Kate]

Very cool.

[Pluto TV Ad]

Watch CSI New York, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods Tracker, FBI and SWAT all for free.

[Kate]

You can't outrun this.

[Pluto TV Ad]

Someone is gonna pay for all this crime. But it's not gonna be you. Take care of business, fellas. Watch all the cases, all for free from all your favorite devices. We got you feel the free Pluto TV stream. Now pay never.