Cheating, Ego, and Redemption: Rico Hundo Gets Called Out

Summary

Summary of "Cheating, Ego, and Redemption: Rico Hundo Gets Called Out" – Barely Famous Podcast

Release Date: May 30, 2025

In this candid and intense episode of Barely Famous, host Kail Lowry engages in a deep dive conversation with guest Rico Hundo. The episode, titled "Cheating, Ego, and Redemption: Rico Hundo Gets Called Out," explores the tumultuous journey of infidelity, personal accountability, and the quest for redemption within Rico's personal life and relationships.

---

1. Introduction to the Relationship

The episode begins with Kail revisiting Rico's personal life, highlighting their shared parenthood and the long-term commitment Rico has maintained with his partner over five years.

• Rico Hundo [01:42]: "That's about five years now."

Kail recalls their initial conversation about Rico's daughter and the early stages of his relationship, setting the stage for the ensuing discussions on fidelity and relationship dynamics.

---

2. The Breakdown of Commitment

Kail confronts Rico about his past infidelity, revealing that Rico admitted to cheating on his partner despite previously affirming his commitment.

• Kail [01:35]: "And you're committed? You're not cheating on her?"
• Rico Hundo [01:47]: "No, no, not anymore."

Rico elaborates on the circumstances that led to his unplanned pregnancy, explaining how the sudden arrival of a child amidst a burgeoning business during COVID-19 created immense stress and resentment.

• Rico Hundo [02:14]: "I had so much chaos at that time because now I have five Stores, I have my podcast... and I had little bit of resentment because she didn't stick to the plan."

Kail challenges Rico on why he didn't take more proactive measures to prevent the pregnancy, such as using condoms or getting a vasectomy.

• Kail [04:02]: "You are placing all of the blame on her for getting pregnant..."

---

3. Perspectives on Monogamy and Fidelity

The conversation shifts to broader themes of monogamy, societal expectations, and personal ideologies. Rico expresses skepticism about the naturalness of monogamous relationships, suggesting that societal norms have imposed unrealistic standards.

• Rico Hundo [15:29]: "We never were."

Kail counters by sharing her own experiences and moral stance, emphasizing the importance of loyalty and the challenges of maintaining fidelity in relationships.

• Kail [15:49]: "So when you were cheating on her, did you feel bad?"

Rico discusses his views on loyalty, arguing that it is more valuable to him than love itself, and insists that loyalty is foundational for any meaningful relationship.

• Rico Hundo [39:15]: "For me, I value loyalty more than love. To me, that is actually love. A love language."

---

4. Personal Ideologies and Misogyny

Rico delves into his personal beliefs, shaped by his upbringing by a single mother and limited paternal influence. He acknowledges that some of his views may be perceived as misogynistic but defends them as rooted in logic and personal experiences.

• Rico Hundo [19:18]: "Any man who's not okay with a woman making the same or more than him is just a man who's in a power tripping position."

Kail confronts these views, challenging the misogynistic undertones and questioning the authenticity of Rico's transformation over the years.

• Kail [23:39]: "I wish I had a shock collar here and I wrap it around his neck. Next time you come on this podcast, I'm bringing the shock collar."

---

5. Parenting and Step-Father Roles

Rico discusses his role as a stepfather, highlighting his commitment to being a positive role model for his stepson. He expresses concerns about step-parent dynamics and the potential risks associated with them.

• Rico Hundo [62:38]: "I look at it from that perspective and now if your daughter."

He emphasizes the importance of being actively involved in his child's life, contrasting his approach with negative examples he has observed.

• Rico Hundo [60:25]: "I have him since he was six going on seven. He had just turned seven."

---

6. Redemption and Personal Growth

Towards the end of the episode, Rico reflects on his past actions and the steps he has taken toward personal growth and redemption. He discusses his efforts to be transparent and accountable, both in his personal relationships and professional endeavors.

• Rico Hundo [30:26]: "But that was part of the things that I had to get rid of to continue to move forward."

He outlines his strategies for self-improvement, such as self-reflection and identifying personal flaws.

• Rico Hundo [42:27]: "Challenge yourself to write 50 flaws about you on a piece of paper."

---

7. Concluding Thoughts

The episode wraps up with Kail summarizing the complex interplay between personal ideologies, relationship dynamics, and the impact of past actions on present circumstances. Rico reiterates his commitment to improving himself and fostering a stable family environment for his children.

• Rico Hundo [55:21]: "Cheating can be... it became an affair type of situation. Right, right."

Kail leaves listeners contemplating the challenges of maintaining integrity in relationships and the pathways to redemption.

---

Notable Quotes

• Rico Hundo [05:00]: "I wasn't treating her the best during her pregnancy."

• Kail [15:29]: "Monogamy in your lifetime versus monogamy with the person that you are committed to are two very different things."

• Rico Hundo [36:10]: "Do not show loyalty to anyone who doesn't show love."

• Kail [42:43]: "How do you teach your daughter this now, ... how will you teach your daughter? Would you want your daughter to date someone like you?"

---

Key Insights

• Accountability: Rico's journey underscores the importance of accountability and the consequences of betraying trust in relationships.

• Ideological Conflicts: The episode highlights the tension between personal beliefs and societal expectations, especially regarding fidelity and monogamy.

• Parenting Responsibility: Emphasizes the critical role of parents in shaping their children's perceptions and behaviors.

• Redemption and Growth: Showcases the potential for personal growth and redemption following mistakes, advocating for self-reflection and proactive change.

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Conclusion

This episode of Barely Famous offers a raw and unfiltered look into the complexities of relationships marred by infidelity, the struggles with personal ideologies, and the quest for redemption. Through Rico Hundo's candid admissions and Kail Lowry's probing questions, listeners are invited to reflect on the intricate dynamics of trust, loyalty, and personal growth within the modern relational landscape.

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Follow Rico Hundo:

• Instagram/TikTok: @Rico_Hundo
• Podcast App: The Hundo Shows
• Sunglass Brand: Hundo Brand

Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Barely Famous on your preferred podcast platform and join Kail Lowry every Friday for more real, raw, and uncomfortable conversations with a diverse range of guests.

Transcript

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[Kale]

Welcome to the show. Things are going to get weird. It's your fave villain, Kale, and you're listening to Barely Famous. Happy Friday. Welcome to another episode of Barely Famous Podcast. We have Rico Hondo back on set on site.

[Rico Hondo]

Barely Famous.

[Kale]

Barely Famous Podcast. All right. We were, before we started recording, I asked you how your daughter was. We had children roughly around the same age. You came on the podcast before. Before, I think when she was like a newborn.

[Rico Hondo]

Was she? Yeah, maybe.

[Kale]

I think you had just had her.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And I asked you if you were in a relationship, then you said yes. And then I just asked you now if you're still with her and you said yes.

[Rico Hondo]

That's about five years now.

[Kale]

Five years?

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And you're committed? You're not cheating on her?

[Rico Hondo]

No, no, not anymore.

[Kale]

Not anymore. But you were.

[Rico Hondo]

I did.

[Kale]

And how did that work out for you?

[Rico Hondo]

I mean, see, I think our situation is a little bit different because we had just got together and the baby came literally, like we made it official, I would say two months prior to her pregnancy. And like the way I am, I'm very planned and detailed with everything.

[Kale]

You didn't want kids though, right? At first?

[Rico Hondo]

No, no, I did. I actually planned on having kids maybe about nine months after or 10 months after we got together. I was like one year mark. Then we can start to have a. Have a family. I already had that planned.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Rico Hondo]

But that happened super early.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

And because of that, and it was during COVID I had five stores, so I was already like overwhelmed with business. So I kind of didn't want it at that point in time. I wanted the stores to kind of settle down. I didn't have to fly every single place before I actually, you know, had a family. And I think because of that, I had so much chaos at that time because now I have five Stores, I have my podcast. I have all these other different businesses, plus a family. And I had a little bit of resentment. I had a little bit of resentment because she didn't stick to the plan.

[Kale]

Which was what?

[Rico Hondo]

The plan was to not have any kids anytime soon.

[Kale]

You could. You had control over that. You could have pulled out.

[Rico Hondo]

No. Well, the thing is, we had an agreement, so we had.

[Kale]

But you didn't follow the agreement right off the bat.

[Rico Hondo]

No, no, no. I definitely did.

[Kale]

So you used protection?

[Rico Hondo]

No.

[Kale]

Did you get a vasectomy?

[Rico Hondo]

No.

[Kale]

The agreement was that you didn't pull out.

[Rico Hondo]

No. The agreement was very simple. I'm not going to use condoms. So we have two. We have two options. We either don't have sex or you take the morning after pill. That's going to be the agreement.

[Kale]

But you're not going to pull out.

[Rico Hondo]

No. Either. We don't have sex. Rico, I think this is pretty much clear, right?

[Kale]

No.

[Rico Hondo]

Why not?

[Kale]

So she is. You are placing all of the blame on her for getting pregnant, basically, and keeping the baby when you had the ability to get a vasectomy, use condoms, pull out.

[Rico Hondo]

Well, she didn't want to go on birth control.

[Kale]

Okay. And that's her right.

[Rico Hondo]

Okay, so then neither is pulling out.

[Kale]

Let me just tell you something. As a woman, I do not want someone to nut in me because it smells like dead bodies after a couple hours. So you are not. Nobody's nutting in me. Right. Like. Well, I mean, that didn't work out for me very well, did it? But that was all a committing committed relationships. But what I'm saying is if I am newly in a relationship, and that is the plan for us to not get pregnant, I'm not letting him nut in me either.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah, but it's not about that. Right. So now you're taking it from a perspective where you feel as if you only have one option. The other option is we practice celibacy, and I'm perfectly fine with either or. So I gave you an option. You chose to pick an option. So hold on. I believe in choice. Right. So if I give you an option to choose. All right, cool. I'm going to take the morning after pill after we have sex. We just can't have sex every single day because you're not going to be taking the morning after pill every single day. Right. Now you have that option, and you're obligated and bound to your word. Once I give you the opportunity to choose, I'm expecting you to act upon your choice. Now, if you go outside of that choice, that's when betrayal happens, right? And that's when it's like, well, why would you do this? Because if that was the case, you've actually technically robbed me of the opportunity of not even doing this to begin with, right? So that's. What was the resentment. That was the point where I was like, well, why would you. It kind of felt like a setup. Why would you tell me one thing and then do the other? So that's why it ended up becoming that way. So in the. The whole pregnancy was like, it was chaotic for us, right, Because I was upset about it. So I wasn't treating her the best during her pregnancy. And then, you know, at some point in time, I had to understand, like, listen, that's not the way, you know, you go about it. It is what it is. You have to accept it for what it was. But deep down inside, there was a part of me that questioned, why would she tell me one thing and do the other, right? And. And that lasted, I would say, about a year. So that at that point in time, I wasn't being faithful.

[Kale]

You know, my first question is, why was the choice solely on her to decide whether she was gonna take the morning after pill or not? Why wasn't it on you to say, I am gonna pull out or I'm gonna use condoms? Because we all know that you guys don't like to do that. But why? Why not just put the future in your own hands? Like you could have prevented that, your own self?

[Rico Hondo]

Well, I. I believe that when we have conversations with individuals, we tend to say, listen, and this is actually funny, because when you think about business and the history, especially in America, right? If you do business overseas, it's a little bit different. But when you do business back in the day, you can actually have a handshake deal. That means you are a person of integrity. You are a person who honors your word. You are a person who honors your commitment, whatever that commitment may be. Right? Nowadays we need contracts, we need NDAs, we need all these different things in place because people do not honor their word. People will give you their word on one thing and then no longer be bound by it. Now, for me, I'm a person that, if I give you my word, I'm going to honor my word. And I tend to feel as if I can read people well. And when I get into business or into anything with somebody, when they give me their word and I decide to do or go forward with them, that's a person that I personally believe is going to honor. Their word.

[Kale]

So when you entered into this relationship with her and you. You made it permanent, you were official with her two months prior to the pregnancy. By doing that, you gave her your word that you were going to be faithful and then did not follow through with that. So what does that say about you?

[Rico Hondo]

Well, I felt like what happened. Well, not feel like what actually happened was the way I felt was like, well, if you betrayed me, it is nothing for me to betray you. So despite. And it's not good. And I'm not saying that that's okay. Right. But there was spite. But there's a cause and effect for everything. And as a human being, we have to understand that how you do some. What you do to me can cause a different reaction. Now, I could have left now if this wasn't a thing, where it was. If this was more so infidelity, then maybe I would have just left. But now we have a. We have a more intricate situation where you have a child involved. And although my feelings and my emotions were like, I don't trust this person enough to be with this person to work these things out, because this person can tell me one thing that's going to ultimately affect my entire life and not. And not honor their own word, it made me question the longevity of being with this person. However, when you have a kid at some point in time, you have to say, you know, what. What's more important? You know, seeing things through and potentially giving that opportunity, that second chance opportunity of this person could grow into a better person. And hopefully, you know, we can have that family together. Because at the end of the day, especially black kids, we're growing up with so many broken households over one, you know, one decision that was made that was not necessarily in the other person's favor. Now, for me, I'm all about trying to figure it out now. So can I push through this? Can I feel? Can. Can I. Can I push through this? Can I let go of my feelings and the promises that I made to myself or what I will and will not tolerate for the safe. For the sake of not just me, but our family, our unit, you know, and. And that's where it was. So, I mean, at the end of the day, in the beginning, was I being spiteful? Yeah. And I had a choice to make. And once I let go of that spite, you know, I did come clean about everything that I did throughout that process of filling that moment. I don't delete anything in my phone, I said, listen, here's.

[Kale]

You told her you cheated on her.

[Rico Hondo]

I told her I came clean about everything.

[Kale]

But I asked you, did you tell her you cheated on.

[Rico Hondo]

I didn't tell her initially. Right.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

So somebody else brought it to her attention.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

And then that person, I said, you know what? You know, that's not the only situation that has happened. You know, and if we're going to push forward, if you're going to actually work in trying to forgive me, there's going to be no skeletons in my closet. And so I don't delete anything in my phone. Both of my phones. Here are my phones.

[Kale]

You let her go through your phones?

[Rico Hondo]

She had them for like days. Because there was a lot in there. You know, the whole come and clean process happened years after the fact. Maybe a year. So a year or two.

[Kale]

You had cheated on her multiple times and you didn't come clean about it for years?

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. So it was.

[Kale]

Can you. Can you walk me through, from a man's perspective, the decision making behind one, cheating on her and two, not telling her for years? Well, can you love someone and still cheat on them?

[Rico Hondo]

Of course. Of course. Right. Well, the first thing I would say, and I don't want to say in my defense, but part of the situations that happened, we had broken up for like two weeks at a time. And although technically that's not cheating, those two week periods is when I would go out and do whatever I did. But we still lived together even though we were broken up. Right. So it's still like cheating, but it's not right.

[Kale]

For sure.

[Rico Hondo]

Technically it's not.

[Kale]

I'm. That's what my ex used to do to me. So I recognize that. And before we started, but I was.

[Rico Hondo]

The one that never broke up. She would break up with me because.

[Kale]

You were doing dog shit.

[Rico Hondo]

No, no, no. She would break up with me because we get into an argument. This is like, I don't. I'm like, all right, cool, fine. So then I was like, that was a green light for me. Don't break up with me if you don't expect me to do anything in any time frame.

[Kale]

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[Rico Hondo]

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[Kale]

No purchase necessary vgw group void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. Would you have cheated anyway?

[Rico Hondo]

I would have thought about it.

[Kale]

You would have thought about it?

[Rico Hondo]

Of course.

[Kale]

What? Walk me through that. Like this woman.

[Rico Hondo]

Of course every man thinks about cheating.

[Kale]

No they don't.

[Rico Hondo]

Yes.

[Kale]

No they don't.

[Rico Hondo]

Jesus. Wait, hold on, ladies. No matter how long, none of you here are a man.

[Kale]

No, but I have been. I have been on like.

[Rico Hondo]

Let me explain something.

[Kale]

I have been on both sides, right? I've been a cheater and I've been cheated On. And every single time that I have cheated in my lifetime, which is not very often, I knew it was wrong in the pit of my stomach, okay? The entire act that ensued, I knew it was wrong. I did it anyway. And that was my real, my realization. Every single time that I knew that person was not for me because I was capable of cheating on them.

[Rico Hondo]

Maybe that person was for you because you were capable to feel that it was wrong. Right. If you can cheat on somebody and feel nothing, that's when you realize that person is not for you. If you cheat on somebody because you're making a terrible decision at that point in time for whatever your justifications are. But you now morally feel bad because you actually genuinely care about the person you're with. Maybe that's actually the right person because you care enough to say that, hey, I'm doing something wrong versus, hey, I did something, whatever it is, I think.

[Kale]

I just have morals as a human being.

[Rico Hondo]

Well, those are morals, not as a human being. Those are morals as a society. Right. A societal, a current time frame. Right. Because at one point there was no real attachment to cheating. I mean, if you actually look at it, the, the, the stats of cheating is relatively new in terms of how long people been in existence. Right. If you cheating is, what, maybe about 200 years old? 150 years old is relatively new to the way humanity used to operate for millennials.

[Kale]

Because you're saying that they're not meant to be monogamous.

[Rico Hondo]

We never were.

[Kale]

I agree with that and I always have. But I feel like monogamy in your lifetime versus monogamy with the person that you are committed to are two very different things. So when I enter a relationship, there is an expectation that we are going to be monogamous with each other. But in my lifetime, I'm not monogamous. I'm not a monogamous human being. I've been with multiple people. That, to me is true, but I.

[Rico Hondo]

Feel like that's also the societal standard. Right.

[Kale]

So while you were cheating on her, did you feel bad?

[Rico Hondo]

The times that I actually cheated, and I would say I cheated were like, I didn't. Where you didn't break up with me. We didn't speak to each other and walk past each other in the house for seven, 10 days. Those times I didn't feel bad. So I'm like, in my mind again, I hold you to your words. So if you're saying you're done and you're leaving and you're moving on, in my mind, you are so I'm preparing for the same exact thing. Right. So at those points in times, no, I did not feel bad. Right. I felt bad once we got back together and I'm like, well, damn. Should I actually say what I did during this break?

[Kale]

Did you?

[Rico Hondo]

No, not, not initially, but the times that I did cheat, where I knew I cheated out of spite, those times I felt bad.

[Kale]

Has she ever cheated on you?

[Rico Hondo]

I mean, not that I know of. Is it possible? Women, they say women cheat better than men. Not smarter. It's just.

[Kale]

We are smarter.

[Rico Hondo]

You're not smarter at all.

[Kale]

We are. And you have a daughter, so you.

[Rico Hondo]

Should know my daughter is not smarter than me either. Never will be.

[Kale]

Where do you get some of the, your, your ideations and your, your misogynist outlook on life? Where does it come from?

[Rico Hondo]

It's not massage. It's. It's actually not. We went through the definition already and I think it's very important for people to study etymology. Right? So when we study etymology, we know that the actual, the actual origin and root of words. And I think it's important to understand the root of life, which is where my ideologies come from. They come from the root, not the, the new trend of what we're supposed to feel or believe, what we're supposed to identify, what we're supposed to accept. Because obviously if I can take you from here in America and I take you to Dubai or I take you to Europe, doesn't matter. SW Switzerland. The, the norms and what is accepted, the social, what is accepted socially differ. Right?

[Kale]

Right.

[Rico Hondo]

So what that means is what? Where do we get to a point or how do we get to a point where we become so small minded, where we literally think that anything that's opposite of what we think is wrong. Right? Because there's. Think about how many things have changed in the last 30, 40 years since we've probably all, maybe some people, 20 years since we've all been here in this world.

[Kale]

Not much.

[Rico Hondo]

A lot. I remember when I was, when I went to high school, you could smack a girl's ass and it wasn't a problem. Now that's assault.

[Kale]

It should always be assault.

[Rico Hondo]

I'm not saying that it shouldn't be. What I'm saying is that look at how life has changed. Understand that things are changing while in real time, while you are alive. Some are in your benefit, some may not be right. Look at what's happening with food. At one point in time, 50, 60 years ago, putting these chemicals in food was not okay. Now it is okay. Look at everything that is changing. So when you want to talk about ideologies, we have to look at what is the whole bigger picture.

[Kale]

But you don't think some of these, these ideologies and your, your outlook is very outdated and very misogynistic for what used to be. Where the men, the men hold, you know, the. They work, they provide, they do X, Y and Z for their families and their wives. Like you remind me of someone who expects a woman to stay in the kitchen and to keep their mouth shut and to not cheat and to honor their word even though you're not honoring yours. That's the type of person.

[Rico Hondo]

True, because I also, I also love the fact that a woman can become wealthy on her own. My mom is a single parent who has five degrees and I watched a woman do it. I think the problem is that I expect women to be more equal than they want to be. That's why I think the problem is because if I say, hey, listen, if I believe in 50, 50 now I am. No, now I'm a roki or I'm a roommate or I'm all these different things. I actually believe that the floor should be open for you to reach your full potential. But understand your full potential doesn't mean you could dictate, doesn't dictate how you treat another individual, doesn't dictate how you look at a man any less or a woman any less. I actually believe 100 opposite. I would love for my woman to work. I would love for my woman to be the breadwinner. I am not insecure about that in any way, shape or form.

[Kale]

If you're a girlfriend, wife, fiance.

[Rico Hondo]

No, we're not married yet.

[Kale]

Yet. Okay, so your, you know, your partner, if she made more money than you and she was the breadwinner and the sole provider and all of those things, you would be 100% okay with that?

[Rico Hondo]

I would prefer it. I would prefer it. And I've always have I said this numerous different times. Any man who's not okay with a woman making the same or more than him is just a man who's in a power tripping position. He's an insecure man and he feels like that's the only thing that brings him value.

[Kale]

Some of the things you say also suggest that. You suggest that like you said, a girl who has a thousand followers or less and she's an eight is like finding the Virgin Mary. Right. Like what you're saying. I don't think necessarily aligns well, I.

[Rico Hondo]

Think, well, now we have to move that. That poll up the thousand is like, you know, nowadays everybody has followers, and I don't even know how they're getting them. But, yes, at one point in time, right, because the number, the numerics. But yes, I do think that a woman who has not been tainted by popularity and is also beautiful is a gift.

[Kale]

So someone like me is what? Not worthy for who?

[Rico Hondo]

For me.

[Kale]

I don't want to be with you.

[Rico Hondo]

So then it doesn't matter. Does it matter?

[Kale]

But I'm asking you, based on what you're saying, so what's an eight to you?

[Rico Hondo]

Like, physically or.

[Kale]

I don't know. What did you mean by that?

[Rico Hondo]

I meant physically. If she's cute, she's an eight. Like, she's solid. You know what I'm saying? Like, a lot of times we got to. We. We get to this point, right, where we think or believe either or. That exposure does not alter us.

[Kale]

Okay?

[Rico Hondo]

Right.

[Kale]

Okay. So does. As you and I know that.

[Rico Hondo]

And it does, right? It alters people's personalities, their ego. It can alter their lifestyles. And that's the problem that I have with it, because at one point in time, it altered me, right? And I had to. I literally had to lose in order to be like, okay, hold on. This is just glamour and lights. You still have to remember who you are at your core while you navigate through whatever it is that I was doing. Right. A lot of people can't do that. A lot of people fall victim to that. And so popularity has become, especially to this day and age, where you have social media, where popularity seems to be their only justifying reason to have value. But yet they're not making money. That doesn't mean that they're good people.

[Kale]

Are you making money, Rico?

[Rico Hondo]

Who, me?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. I haven't had a job since 2016 or 17.

[Kale]

How do you make your money?

[Rico Hondo]

By bookings. I'm on. I'm contracting on a couple different shows. I get booked every single month. And I've been getting booked, but. But I also.

[Kale]

Did you get paid for Game of Clones? I never asked you that. You did.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah, you know, funny story about that, Right.

[Kale]

For those of you guys who are new here, Rico and I did a dating show together, and he was the one that I, like, picked or whatever, is, like, the winner.

[Rico Hondo]

I just know she comes over here, thinks I'm misogynist.

[Kale]

You are.

[Rico Hondo]

But now look at how I've grown. Because you haven't in that show. I said, you can't go through my phone. Remember that? Now, my girl could go through my phone.

[Kale]

Oh my God.

[Rico Hondo]

It's all about compromise.

[Kale]

I think that was like 7ish years ago, 6 years ago. So you made this much progress. Like that's a lot.

[Rico Hondo]

That is, it's moving the needle.

[Kale]

I wish I had a shock collar here and I wrap it around his neck. Next time you come on this podcast, I'm bringing the shock collar.

[Rico Hondo]

I.

[Kale]

So first let me ask you this. What was the deciding factor for you and your girlfriend to stay together after you came clean about all of your cheating?

[Rico Hondo]

Well, it was, I mean that's a question you would have to ask her.

[Kale]

Like she decided that.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah, she decided that. I mean she made some, she had some new requirements to go forward. For example, like she didn't want any secrets between us or any restrictions. So like for example, she said, you know, I want to know everything. So here's access to it. I want to continue to have open transparency. So my passcodes have never changed, but she knows them, you know what I'm saying? Obviously if I lose my phone, I don't want anybody to go through it. So I'm never not going to have a passcode on it. But if she decides to pick up my phone, she can. And I actually, it's actually more of a lightweight now, you know, because back.

[Kale]

Then it's a lot of work to cheat.

[Rico Hondo]

It is. You gotta be really good. That's why, you know, that's why you.

[Kale]

Got away with it for so long.

[Rico Hondo]

But I, I still could, right? But I just choose not to. It's all a choice.

[Kale]

I know, like, I know that.

[Rico Hondo]

But so that was more so all her. So she had, she had some different things. She wanted to basically be able to have access to whatever I have access to. She want to open transparency on that, which is fine, you know what I'm saying?

[Kale]

So what was the turning point for you to, to agree to those as a compromise? Like what, what changed in you that you were like, okay, I'm willing to do those things now versus in the beginning.

[Rico Hondo]

I don't think it's that something change. I think it's just the simple fact that, see, growing up with a single parent is not good because you're easy to say I could live without. And I realized that I had that problem because I could live without, I.

[Kale]

Have with her, without her.

[Rico Hondo]

You mean anybody or anything, right? Any opportunity I've always created another one. Any woman I've always replaced with the same or better, right? Any, Anything. I've always been able to find the same or Better. I have never regressed at any point in my life. I didn't want to have my kid have the same mindset that people and situations are disposable because you can replace them.

[Kale]

Okay, so how do you teach your daughter this now, when it. It took you having her and, you know, her being almost four years old, for you to come to these realizations, like, how do you balance that and how will you teach your daughter? Would you want your daughter to date someone like you?

[Rico Hondo]

Of course. Of course. 100%, I would. See, the thing is for my daughter to date somebody like me now, obviously, with my situation, I feel it was a little bit different because that's the first time I moved out of spite. But I also do know I moved out of spite for numerous reasons. Not just her and my situation with her, but the situations that I was facing at that time and the adversity. I mean, I was 25 years old. I was making a million dollars in six months every year for four years straight, my company, right? And now I'm. I'm growing and I'm learning because I don't know everything that I'm. I'm getting thrown in a fire, and I'm having a lot of success, but I'm having a lot of expenses. You know, you have overhead where you. You have to. But people don't understand, like, when you're an actual boss and you're taking care of people's families, like, some people are only eating because you are paying them, right? And they're. And they have kids.

[Kale]

But that doesn't justify or, like, have anything to do with cheating.

[Rico Hondo]

No, no, no, no. But when. What I'm saying is now when you have to cut back and you have to fire somebody, and it's not because they did a bad job. It's because you can't afford to keep them afloat. And you're. You have people that are crying in front of you saying, hey, I need this opportunity. I can't feed my children without it. And you're starting to see all these psychological things that weigh on you as a boss, especially when your business is now declining, right? And your expenses are over. And then now I have. On top of that, we have Covid. Like, this was all during COVID by the way. So I'm having so many different things, and I have lawsuits. I'm getting sued by Canada Goose. This is a hundred thousand dollars here. I have so many different moving pieces. And why were you sued? So I was sued because our logo was a circle? No, it was a circle and our name has goose in it. That was it really. What happened was we were taking over the, the luxury winter coat and, and furs industry so fast, so rapidly that if you typed in Canada Goose on Google, we'd pop up first. And we weren't paying for advertisement. Right. So now what happens is with, when they got whiff of that, they're like, what we're going to do is we're going to try to sue you, we're going to try to block your trademark, we're going to drag it out in legal fees because a lot of people can't with hope withstand all those. Right. But I was going through that process as well. So when I'm having a lot of these different, other issues outside of my relationship, and then I wanted my relationship or every man, I would say every person wants their relationship to be that grounding space. And now I'm now dealing with this situation where I felt like I could trust you and you the shoulder I could lean on. And for me, you pulled your shoulder from underneath me. And now not only did you do that, but now you're bringing in a kid, which no, now is what, seven? We found out when she was already two months pregnant. So seven months out and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to maintain business. And now you're bringing. And now I got to figure out how I'm going to take care of a family. I'm watching my business decline. I'm watching and I'm trying to get everything afloat while going through Covid and navigate through this. So in that moment, I felt like you don't care enough about stability. Right. And or my mental health because I'm confiding into you about all the issues that is going on in my life day to day. So at that point in time, I felt like a bread spite. Now, outside of that situation, I've always been 100% with women since I was 21 years old. And my mother told me, listen, don't argue with women, just be honest. Tell them that you're not going to be faithful. Tell them that you're going to want more than one. Before I started dating my girl, I told her, if you want to be with me, understand I want two wives. This is something that I've been upfront.

[Kale]

About to this day. You want two wives?

[Rico Hondo]

Well, that was part of the things that I had to get rid of to continue to move forward. Right. So when I'm saying so wait, wait, wait, hold on. I want to answer the question right, I don't want to lose it. So moral of the story is, outside of the situation where I was being spiteful and I did not do what I typically do, I'm a man of my word.

[Kale]

But you're not.

[Rico Hondo]

No, no, I am.

[Kale]

Because a man of their word does not simply act out of spite simply because someone else didn't follow their word. And when you have integrity and morals, regardless of how people treat you, you are still going to be the person that you've always been, which is you claim to be a man of your. So regardless of what people do to you, you should still be that person.

[Rico Hondo]

No, and I, And I agree 100%, but that doesn't mean that you're perfect. Right? So there's.

[Kale]

Agreed.

[Rico Hondo]

So there's going to be times and situations. If I could say I'm 90% and 10%, I'm cool. Even 80, 20, 80% of the times I'm a man of my word and 20% of the times I'm not, for whatever the reason situation may be, whatever I might deem as justifiable, I can live with that. And if you ask me, do I want a man to be that way with my daughter, 100%. If a man is going to say, hey, listen, I want two wives, do you want to be one of them? That's my daughter's decision. If a man is going to give my daughter the power of choice from the very beginning, then I respect him. You know, I would want her to have that. Whether or not I agree with her. Being to the second or the fourth wife, doesn't matter. It's not my life to live. But don't rob my child of her choice. That's the, that's the most important thing for me.

[Kale]

But you, you robbed her mother of the choice for some time.

[Rico Hondo]

She robbed me too.

[Kale]

No, you robbed each other.

[Rico Hondo]

It was so much more. And I'm kind of just keeping it surface level, but it started with that. It was actually three things. It was like boom, boom, boom. And I'm like, whoa.

[Kale]

No, here's the thing though. You don't know how you are going to react to something or how your feelings will change until you are physically put in that position. Right? So my ex and I, you know, I've talked to you about him before. We, we had those conversations in the beginning of our relationship where we talked about having kids and he said, you know, when I turned this year, I don't know how old, 27, whatever it was at the time we can talk about kids. Okay, well, he also had the choice and the ability to pull out. He didn't. We got pregnant, took plan B, still ended up pregnant to me. I didn't know how we were going to handle. Neither one of us knew how we were going to handle that situation until we were physically in it. Right. So she could have said, okay, you know, I'll take a plan B. And then she realized once she was already pregnant or once you guys already had sex, I don't know if I would want. I maybe want this baby. Like I maybe want a life with you. And so her feelings change just like that. And so I think that there is a difference between saying you're going to do something and holding your word and then something actually happening. Where you're put in that position is very different. It's not like me saying, rico, we're going to start a business together and now you have my word that we're going to start this business together. It's like there's a life being created here. So it's a life altering thing. The business that we start, we said we were going to start is not life altering.

[Rico Hondo]

And I agree. But that's the same. It goes on both sides of the coin. So you have to understand that when you're doing something that affects somebody else, you don't know how that person is going to respond. And neither, neither do they. I can exactly say, you know what, I've been a man of my word majority of my adulthood, but at this point in time, this has affected me to a point that, where I don't feel like I even want to speak to you or be honest with you anymore. And I never saw that coming. And myself, I got the name Hondo because I was always keeping it 100. That's exactly how I got in college. Right.

[Kale]

The mentality that you have, and I just can't understand it. I don't understand your, your ideas. I don't understand your mentality. I don't understand your thought process. I understand absolutely nothing.

[Rico Hondo]

That's okay though. That's not, you know, I don't think that we need to understand everything about everyone.

[Kale]

No, I, I agree. But like, I don't know how you get to some of your conclusions, but I don't use logic.

[Rico Hondo]

No, it's actually a hundred percent logic. So like I can say this. I don't get how we can understand that monogamy is not natural, but then have the expectation of having a monogamous relationship without burden.

[Kale]

But I just. What do you mean without burden?

[Rico Hondo]

Without burden, there's always going to be temptation.

[Kale]

But like I said, monogamy in the relationship, but not in your lifetime.

[Rico Hondo]

But I'm saying even then, let's just say this. That's not logical to me. How not if I want to practice on. If I want to drive trucks for a living, I'm not going to drive a smart car for practice. It's not even the same thing.

[Kale]

What the fuck are you talking about?

[Rico Hondo]

So what I'm saying is if I want to practice monogamy, right? If I want a monogamous relationship, I should be practicing monogamy throughout my entire life?

[Kale]

No.

[Rico Hondo]

Why would you not? You're practicing. For example, let's just say I'm dating, right? And I date four girls at a time. I'm not serious or committed with any one of them. I'm just dating, okay? But I want a monogamous relationship. That doesn't even make sense because I'm literally in the moment practicing poly.

[Kale]

Because look, you're dating around to find the person that you would want to be monogamous with.

[Rico Hondo]

But dating, okay, so let's, you have.

[Kale]

To know as a man, like as a woman, I know who my, like my person is, right? So I think at the, the point that I was with someone that was a serial cheater all the time, right? Like I wanted him to pick me so bad, so I stayed. Right. I realize now, years later that that was just who he was. That was in his nature my most.

[Rico Hondo]

Do you believe? Oh, so go ahead, go ahead.

[Kale]

No, no, you're fine.

[Rico Hondo]

So you believe essentially that he could not, not cheat.

[Kale]

Correct. I think there are men who cannot cheat. I think. I'm not saying that there's not temptation. I'm not saying that they don't think about cheating. But the difference between thinking about it and action I think are very different. You have a choice leading up to that. Do you want to throw away your entire life for a five minute? I can't say that. I think that that's thing that men really think about. And the real men that have spines are going to say this isn't worth throwing away my entire life. And it could.

[Rico Hondo]

What about the real woman? Let's flip it.

[Kale]

No.

[Rico Hondo]

And the real woman that have spines going to say, I don't think that this is worth doing if this guy is a great guy or whoever's a cheater, right?

[Kale]

Because I, I was the abusee turned into the abuser, right? So that relationship with him around the time that we filmed that show together. He was just cheating on me. Right. So my next ex was a. Was a woman. And I did what he did to me. I turned around and I did it. Her and her up. Right. Like, not great. So I think that there is a cycle that could be said. But I knew every single time I cheated on her, I knew that I was not meant to be with her. But then the next ex I know could have been my person.

[Rico Hondo]

Did she know?

[Kale]

Yeah, she caught me every time. Women.

[Rico Hondo]

She stayed.

[Kale]

She stayed.

[Rico Hondo]

Is that not strength?

[Kale]

No, it's spineless.

[Rico Hondo]

That's actually the. The most. And that's my thing. Right. So right now we're actually in the age and a time where so many people can't actually deal with adversity. And not just in cheating. I'm just saying in life, they can or they can't. Can't. It's actually being proven. And the problem is, what does that.

[Kale]

Have to do with cheating? You think cheating should be a part of adversities? Because I just don't agree.

[Rico Hondo]

I think that cheating can be. I don't think a serial cheater. I think that's entirely.

[Kale]

Is that what you were.

[Rico Hondo]

I wasn't a serial cheater because I don't know.

[Kale]

If you cheat more than once, you're a serial cheater with the same person. I don't think that once a cheater, always a cheater. I don't.

[Rico Hondo]

Okay.

[Kale]

I think that you could cheat and realize what you lost and never cheat again. I think that there are families and couples that can overcome cheating and you can get through it, depending on the circumstances. If. If. And it's not for me to really judge, but if I was your girlfriend, I would not have been able to come back from that. That's not something that I would. Because you did it more than once.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah, but you didn't know about it.

[Kale]

That's worse.

[Rico Hondo]

No, no.

[Kale]

Like, you slept at night.

[Rico Hondo]

No, no, no. See, but it's not about what I did. Right. Because you don't know how I slept. I could have slept uncomfortably.

[Kale]

No, because you kept doing it.

[Rico Hondo]

No, I didn't. Kept doing it how many times?

[Kale]

Roughly? More than five. No, just can't. Like, I don't understand it.

[Rico Hondo]

Two times a year. You know what you said that you.

[Kale]

Do not show loyalty to anyone who doesn't show love. You don't. Yeah, you. I have the quote you said you don't show anyone love until they show you loyalty. What makes you think that anyone owes you loyalty?

[Rico Hondo]

I think that for. For me. Right. And Remember, everything is subjective because the way you live your life or whatever you perceive is going to be entirely different. Right. Than me or whoever is the audience.

[Kale]

Sure.

[Rico Hondo]

For me, I value loyalty more than love. To me, that is actually love. A love language. For me, loyalty, Right. Loyalty also helps me, embodies trust. I don't have to worry. I don't want another moving part when I decide to love you. And that moving part is usually because I don't trust you or I have to watch you. I don't want to have to deal with any of that. Right.

[Kale]

So this is in terms of a relationship or this is in terms of friendship or.

[Rico Hondo]

Okay, relationship. All of them. Right.

[Kale]

So how does one show you love and loyalty?

[Rico Hondo]

What do you mean?

[Kale]

Like when you're, say you enter you and you and your friend right here.

[Rico Hondo]

Oh, being there.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

Being present, being transparent, being an accountability partner.

[Kale]

But why do you think that someone should owe that to you? Like, owes that to you right away?

[Rico Hondo]

I don't think nobody's indebted to me, though. I'm saying if you want something from me, this is the exchange. So if you want me to love you in exchange for my love, I need loyalty. And with loyalty, I need a safe. See, for me, when you have loyalty or when I have loyalty, it's a safe place to love. Without loyalty is not a safe place for me to put my love in. It doesn't even seem like a smart investment emotionally.

[Kale]

And so in terms of your relationship, you did not get the loyalty or you did not get the. In order for you to love her and accept, you know, the compromises that you were presented with, you needed the love from her and. Or, sorry, you needed the loyalty from her, but you didn't feel like you had that.

[Rico Hondo]

That is very, very accurate. So I felt like the loyalty was not being displayed, especially early on. I mean, we spoke before we actually dated. Seriously, we were. I mean, before we actually got together. Seriously. We dated for about six months. Okay, five, six months, give or take. About February to June. Okay, Right. Or July, roughly. And, you know, from there it was all like. It was still figuring each other out. Plus the COVID happened in the middle of that whole situation.

[Kale]

Right.

[Rico Hondo]

Which I didn't see her for like two months, but we still spoke every day, you know, very, very consistent with that. And then when I decided to make that. That step, I literally stopped talking to all the women that I was speaking to at that time. And that's when I was like, all right, cool, this is what it's going to be. And I was already trying to fill you out. There was a couple little nuances that we had here and there, which is fine because again, you're not dead. It's indebted to me. But if you want to actually be with me and you tell me you want to be with me, I'm going to tell you what it takes to be with me. I'm not gonna. I'm not playing the guessing game. You know what I'm saying? I don't want you to guess what it's going. What it takes to make me happy or what it takes to be with me or what it takes to get different versions or sides of me that you might want. I'm going to tell you exactly how to do it because I know it. A lot of people haven't done the.

[Kale]

Self work, but you have.

[Rico Hondo]

Of course. You know what I did when I was 21 to get to where I even got to tell me, Jesus Christ. It was a lot like, right? So I recommend this for everybody, okay? But you have to be 100% ego list within yourself. It's hard.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

Challenge yourself to write 50 flaws about you on a piece of paper. Write it down, literally 50 flaws, push for it. Most people are going to stop at that 10, 20 mark, but push to 50.

[Kale]

Why? What is the purpose of that?

[Rico Hondo]

Because it's going to make you peel the layers back right? Now once you push to 50, once you reach 50 and sometimes you go, you might, it'll be an open door where now you're being really brutally honest with yourself. Of all the flaws, you might even go to 100. After you do those flaws, you're going to write a dash. And the next grid or category is going to be why slash? When? Right? So if I say, hey listen, I am short tempered and I'm explosive, I'm going to then say dash. Why slash? When, when did I notice it and why is it happening or where did it came from? You know, maybe.

[Kale]

What if you don't know?

[Rico Hondo]

Well, that's the point. The point is to challenge yourself where you can recall might have even happened before then, right? Whatever that time frame. But you have to be able to see yourself in full. So these are types of. These are the types of things and activities that I did within myself. And I remember because I wrote like 200 flaws. And at that point in time when I was 21, I was entirely different person. I didn't even look the same, I didn't talk the same, I didn't dress the same as I Do right.

[Kale]

Now, you've mentioned before on the podcast and also here today that you were raised by a single mom. Did you witness her being hurt by men? And how has that shaped your 1. Your relationship with her but to your ideologies today?

[Rico Hondo]

I don't think I've ever witnessed my mom being hurt by a man emotionally.

[Kale]

You never saw her cry over a man?

[Rico Hondo]

No. But my mom is a Leo, and I'm big into astrology, and I'll battle anybody. So what you're saying is I'm an Aquarius.

[Kale]

What's that, February?

[Rico Hondo]

My daughter's an Aries. What are you, a Cancer? Yep, I can tell.

[Kale]

What am I?

[Rico Hondo]

You're a Pisces.

[Kale]

How do you know that?

[Rico Hondo]

Because I remember your birthday. But, yeah, my mom is a Leo, so she's a fire. Like, my mom is. Is different. And I believe, like, yeah, my mom is. Like, my mom is a boss.

[Kale]

What does she think about all of the things that you say?

[Rico Hondo]

Oh, my mom loves me.

[Kale]

No, I didn't say she didn't love you. I said, what does she think about the things that you say?

[Rico Hondo]

She. She understands it, you know, because my mom is the one who told me, you know, I told you the story. I was arguing with my ex or all the time. This was like, my ex, ex, Right. When I was younger and I was still living at home, I was maybe like 20, 21 years old, and my mom was like, I'm tired of hearing you argue with this girl because you want to lie. Do you understand? If you're just honest, you will have no problems with women.

[Kale]

Because we want the choice to. We. The power of choice. Right.

[Rico Hondo]

And the respect. Right.

[Kale]

But if I have the choice, and I know right off the bat, I'm allowed to, I can make the choice whether I want to stay and be a part of this and shut the.

[Rico Hondo]

Up, or you sign up for it.

[Kale]

Right.

[Rico Hondo]

So that's why.

[Kale]

That's what your mom taught you?

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. So, like, my mom, like, so everything that I said, my mom's like, that's what he wants. That's what he wants. But he's not going to sugarcoat it.

[Kale]

You know, she doesn't necessarily agree with what you do, but she is. She's supporting you. Being honest about what your thoughts are. And what.

[Rico Hondo]

Most men want the same thing. They're just not honest.

[Kale]

Like, what?

[Rico Hondo]

They want more than one woman. They want to have periods of times where they can have a break from the relationship. Not really necessarily like a breakup, but like a moment where they can Go ahead and explore. Yeah. Hall passes. Most men want this. I would argue 90%. Now ask me how many men are confident that will say it is far less. How many men are confident to say it in public is far less? Because at the end of the day, men fear losing women. Right. I fear scaring women away, and I fear losing a woman that I might have, if they even have one. But for me, it's like, I was never scared of losing anybody, anything. Because if I tell you what I want at this point in time in my life, that's where I'm at. If you're not aligned, that's fine. It doesn't matter how bad I want you to be here. I'm not forcing alignment. I'm not pushing you to be here with me knowing that you don't even work with me.

[Kale]

What's your relationship like with your dad? I feel like you told me. I don't remember. What is the relationship with your dad? Do you have a dad?

[Rico Hondo]

I mean, I'm here. I have to have a dad. Right.

[Kale]

But you have a sperm donor.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. So my dad. Me and my dad do not have a close relationship at all. Right. Was he there? No, not really. He's popped in my life. Let's say three times in total, for a total of three or four years.

[Kale]

Do you have a stepdad? You did or you did? You don't anymore?

[Rico Hondo]

No. So him and my mom split when I was about 18.

[Kale]

Okay, so you were an adult.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. And. But me and him are still like this. Me and he has a son who's a year or two older than me. I remember you telling me we're still like this.

[Kale]

That's your brother.

[Rico Hondo]

That's my brother. You know what I'm saying? So I did still have that. That male figure in my life. And the greatest thing about him is that he's like a real og.

[Kale]

So you call him dad?

[Rico Hondo]

No, no, no.

[Kale]

Have you ever called him dad?

[Rico Hondo]

No, no, no.

[Kale]

You've always called him by his name?

[Rico Hondo]

Nickname. Yeah.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. But still, like, his son is my brother. If I introduce, like, this is my brother, he'll tell you, like, this is my little brother.

[Kale]

Do you and your former stepdad and your brother share these same ideologies?

[Rico Hondo]

Not necessarily. No. No. Like, some of them. Yeah. But ask me, dude, have they all cheated at a point in her life? Asked me if they all had multiple women at a point of their life? I don't want to put their. Their personal business. We can interview them and, you know, let them tell their Story. Yeah, but we asked me if we share the same experiences. The answer is a hundred percent yes. Now, what we want permanently is a little bit different, you know what I'm saying? And what we may have is a little bit different. Just because I want something doesn't mean I'm going to achieve it. Right. And I think that's important to note. And same thing for women. Women want a lot of different types of men or a lot of different characteristics in men. It won't find them. And then as they start to go throughout life, that, that list obviously dwindles. And then they start to get to that settle period where they're settling for somebody who is not ultimately what they wanted 10 years ago. I just think that that's the nature of life because we have unrealistic expectations. Just like, I feel like for us to say like numerically. Just think about this. And I just want you to just. This is. I'm not normalizing.

[Kale]

Okay, let's see.

[Rico Hondo]

But what we have to do is understand reality. Do you understand that 70%, a rough estimate of relationships, all marriages and not marriage. Right. Relationships, has infidelity.

[Kale]

Oh, for sure. So does that, does that include financial infidelity or just like.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah, all infidelity. Financial, emotional, physical. So my thing is we get to this point where we act nuts because we want to resist the truth. The truth is that the likelihood of you doing something that's infidelity towards me or considered infidelity or a type of infidelity towards or with me is 7 out of 10. 7 out of 10. So I don't have resistance to the truth.

[Kale]

I don't have resistance to the truth. I think that just cheating, especially like we're talking 10 year marriages, 20 year relationships, there is going to be infidelity. Right? Like you can't expect someone to go 20 years without cheating. And if you think that you can, you're a liar. But.

[Rico Hondo]

But why, but why does it have to take 20 years? Why not five?

[Kale]

Maybe five, depending on what the situation is. Two for me. I don't know. I feel like that you should still be in that very new phase of the relationship that you, you're still building. So for me, cheating within the first two years I think is crazy.

[Rico Hondo]

So look, check this out. Back in the day, they said that the women were having sex with the mailman and the milkman, right? This is like what they say, I wasn't there.

[Kale]

Yeah. That's where like the, is that the milkman's daughter came from.

[Rico Hondo]

Exactly.

[Kale]

Right, right, right.

[Rico Hondo]

Also back in the day, at the same time, the husband had a whole another family that he was taking care of on the other side of town that nobody knew that he had kids over there. So women and men didn't cheat on each other.

[Kale]

I think the way that women tolerated and, and put up with cheating before and it was easier to turn. To turn a blind eye to cheating before was because we solely relied on men to be the providers and to be the, the, the producers of the home. And, and, and, and so we had to turn a blind eye. We didn't have a choice. Where today I've made more money than all my exes combined. So I don't need you for any reason. And I. If, if you can't help me around the house, I'm gonna hire someone who can. So to me, why should I tolerate that when there is that 3% or 30% that would be faithful? Yeah, because the, the pool is smaller and the time that I get to it might be long, but I'm willing to wait.

[Rico Hondo]

They're typically already taken.

[Kale]

I see what you're saying.

[Rico Hondo]

You get what I'm saying?

[Kale]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Fair.

[Rico Hondo]

There are.

[Kale]

Well, that's why, that's part of the reason I don't date anybody with children because they're bound to cheat.

[Rico Hondo]

I would only see like going forward. Like if me and my girl were to split today, I would almost. I would prefer a woman to have a child.

[Kale]

Really one Knowing that there is an opportunity for her to go back. Because I personally have never experienced a man who hasn't. Every single one of my kids dads has cheated on their significant other with me, whether we knew it at the time or not, they cheated with me. So for me going into a new relationship, whether it's a woman or a man, if they have kids, I'm not interested. I won't even look like actually will not even be immediate turn off. Not because of the kids. Love the kids. But I do not. I have no interest.

[Rico Hondo]

Wait, so you're saying I want to make sure I'm understanding your exes cheated with you.

[Kale]

Yes.

[Rico Hondo]

But that's the difference between a man and a woman. Woman. A woman would rather have sex with somebody she already has sex with versus going and having sex with somebody new. Like they don't want to add more bodies.

[Kale]

Men.

[Rico Hondo]

No, women. So like.

[Kale]

No, no. I don't think you're trash. I don't think you're so. So my exes. Right. We break up.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah.

[Kale]

They have a new relationship.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And they cheat on their new relationship with me.

[Rico Hondo]

That's what I'm saying. Because you.

[Kale]

Because I'm going back to them.

[Rico Hondo]

You're saying, yeah, you're not going to go to somebody you don't know to play with.

[Kale]

Tracking, tracking, tracking.

[Rico Hondo]

You get me?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Rico Hondo]

So versus a man, right?

[Kale]

Doesn't matter.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. So like, for her to go back to him doesn't make sense.

[Kale]

Why?

[Rico Hondo]

Unless if she truly wants to be with him, I feel like it's a little bit different.

[Kale]

Why do men cheat with ugly girls?

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. So listen, right? I have a theory, and I'm not too sure if this is the truth, right? But I have a theory. There's a couple of different things. Tell me it was a build up.

[Kale]

Of what?

[Rico Hondo]

Of just like, I just want something different.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

But I don't want to risk it. A beautiful woman is not going to just play second place. Like, they're not going to just take the back burner and be quiet, especially if they feel like they got emotionally involved with you. So, yeah, the ugly girl knows that she. A pretty girl is a competitor. An ugly girl is an acceptor.

[Kale]

So she was just gonna do it.

[Rico Hondo]

She was gonna accept her role and shut up, hopefully. Right? My situation, obviously everybody knows about it. I've been open about it, about when I was cheating. And the woman is a very beautiful woman, right? The woman is a very paid, influential woman.

[Kale]

The one that you cheated with or your. Or your girlfriend.

[Rico Hondo]

The one that blew up the operation, right? Because there was others, right, that I came clean about, but I would never forget this shit. She called me and she said, I've never came second to anybody. Click. I was like, oh, shit.

[Kale]

You knew it was. The jig was up.

[Rico Hondo]

Not even. Like, I knew it wasn't. It wasn't just like, hey, listen, this is what happened. I knew that this was a screenshot, this was a video, this was whatever the hell she had to destroy, she was coming to destroy.

[Kale]

Why?

[Rico Hondo]

Well, because she probably felt the same way.

[Kale]

Were you in love with her?

[Rico Hondo]

I wasn't. I don't know if I was in love with her, but I was definitely developing feelings. And that was the first time I've ever done that. That's why I really realized that that for me, that was what cheating really is. Cheating is like when you get emotionally involved with something. Like, for a guy, I can have sex and completely forget that I had sex until I scroll past you on.

[Kale]

Instagram and you're like, oh, shit, I fucked her.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. Like, damn, I forgot about this, you know? And for Me, like, that's like, that's not really cheating for a guy to me. But when you start to develop actual feelings and emotions, that's like, bro, you're really cheating now because now it becomes an affair type of situation. Right, right. And for me, that is uncalled for. And I think that's what it was, you know, and it was mutual. Like, there was feelings being developed there.

[Kale]

The times that I have cheated in my life, I think that I was not. I was with people who were not meeting my needs emotionally, so I was finding that emotional connection somewhere else. So I think for women, we're emotional cheaters, emotional just by nature. But for men, I would say, yeah, I would agree that they more think with their dicks and they don't have those feelings for the women. Like, like you just said you could have sex with her and completely forget about it.

[Rico Hondo]

And that's so. And that's what happened. So at that point in time in my. My actual relationship, we're going through turmoil. It was like separation, not separation, Separation, not separation. So. So for me, I felt like there was no stability there. So in my mind, I'm like, we keep on breaking up to get together. We're about to break up, you know. So I think at that point in time, that was the first time in that relationship where I was like, okay, I'm open. I'm opening the door for. To be emotionally available for somebody else. And that's where that happened, you know, not justifying it at all. You know, I'm just saying that's how that happened. Because prior to that, it was never a situation where I actually cared about the person. It was just like, we are vibing and that's it, you know, here today, done tomorrow, you know, where nothing's moving. We're not exchanging contact and keeping. We're not keeping in contact.

[Kale]

I'll be curious to ask your girlfriend if that was why she was able to move on from it because it didn't mean anything. Versus had you had like an emotional, like, connection to someone that was like, ongoing, would she have been able to forgive?

[Rico Hondo]

I mean, I don't. I don't think that we just. And that's another thing. So for me, I think that people got to understand that there's a good maybe two or three times time, length of the amount of time that you cheated that is going to take to potentially heal. So we just got back on track. Kind of like we've been good, but like, now we're actually getting back on track. Not meaning she forgot. You know what I'm saying? So, like, when you think about the situation that happened, she had to go through a lot. And I'm only speaking from the outside looking in. I'm not her. You know, I can't tell you exactly how her feelings were, but I do have an idea, you know, so it took while. It took a while for her to just be like, you know, to navigate through the household, you know, with less stress or at least not wearing it as much, you know?

[Kale]

Right.

[Rico Hondo]

I still don't know in full, because it's her situation, it's her experience. You know what I mean? And I'm on the other end of it.

[Kale]

But you were willing to be patient with her while she sort of worked through that.

[Rico Hondo]

I still am.

[Kale]

Because I think, you know, I've talked to people who have gone through infidelity, and, you know, like I said, I've been on both sides of it. I think that when you're in a relationship and you choose to take someone back, and after a cheating scandal or an affair or whatever, it'll come up at the dinner table, when you're with your friends, and it'll come up in movies and it'll come up in shows. And so every single time that happens, and you have to reassure your partner, if you're choosing to work through it, you have to choose to comfort them in that moment and not get mad. Because I think that a lot of times, like with my ex, for example, you know, he was cheating, and then he'd get mad at me for being upset a week later. And it's like, you didn't even give me time to, like, get through this. And so I would, like, bring up all the emotions if I saw it on a show or a movie or whatever, and he'd be like, I can't keep doing this, and you literally are giving me a week.

[Rico Hondo]

Well, even if, like. Like, for me, it was like two years.

[Kale]

Oh, wow.

[Rico Hondo]

Because this all happened. The whole thing happened two years ago, you know, so now we've been two years post all of this.

[Kale]

Right. And so now you. You're wanting the nuclear family. You want to stay together. You want to raise your kids together, you want to do all the things together because you don't want to see your kids in a household without you, without us, without. Okay. Without both of you.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not about me yet.

[Kale]

At the point that you are not happy in the relationship, do you think it's still important to work it out with her so that you guys can Be a nuclear family? Or do you think at that point you would remove yourself and allow another man to come forward and have a semi nuclear family where there is still a male role model in the house? Because look how you turned out.

[Rico Hondo]

Like, I'm a great dad, though. Like, the thing is.

[Kale]

But you, in order to be a great dad, you have to be a great partner.

[Rico Hondo]

No.

[Kale]

Yes.

[Rico Hondo]

No. They are not synonymous. Some people are great parents and terrible spouses and vice versa.

[Kale]

But what are you teaching your kids by doing that?

[Rico Hondo]

Well, I think that sometimes you don't. You got. We also have to remember, not everybody understands what great is. Whether a great parent for somebody can actually be a parent for somebody else.

[Kale]

Right. It's all about perspective.

[Rico Hondo]

Right. And, and, and it's all about the adaptability to understand that person's needs and desires, whether they're the child or the spouse. Right. And, and if you can adapt to that. So I have two different kids that are entirely different people, entirely different personalities.

[Kale]

The other one's here, huh? The other one's born.

[Rico Hondo]

Well, she has a son. Prior post to me.

[Kale]

Oh, I didn't know.

[Rico Hondo]

I mean, prior to me. Yeah.

[Kale]

Oh, so you're a stepdad.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah, so. And I've had him since he was six going on seven. He had just turned seven.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

And now he, he'll be 12 this year. So I have him for five years.

[Kale]

Lincoln's age.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. No, no, he's. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's 11. He's 11. He'll be 12 this year. And I'm his coach. Like. But the same way that my stepdad was with me, I am with him. You know what I'm saying? But I had that. Now I have a. I'm hearing a lot of other situations where the step parent was nowhere near the type of step parent that I had.

[Kale]

Right.

[Rico Hondo]

So I don't know if I got lucky or if I wanted a few.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Rico Hondo]

You know what I'm saying? But I, I fortunate can be the same for somebody else right now. And it's also different when you have a boy versus a girl because men are sick and so are women, but men are sick with, with little girls. And I don't play that like if, if something ever happened to my daughter, like, because all it takes is one experience. You know what I'm saying? One minute, one. One.

[Kale]

Same can be said for little boys though, too.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah, yeah, 100%. But I feel like, like there are more men who would. And this could be wrong, but I feel like more men that would Target a girl versus target a boy.

[Kale]

I agree and I've said that, like when I had my daughter, I, I had twins. Boy, girl, twins. So when I had my daughter, they were both in the nicu. But when I. Obviously we know it can happen to a boy, but like, when I looked at my daughter, I just felt different because I think they're targeted in a different way. They, they are looked at as more vulnerable than boys. Not saying it can't happen to boys, but I was just like, if someone was to do something to my daughter, like, I just don't even know.

[Rico Hondo]

Lose it, I'd lose it.

[Kale]

I mean, same for my sons. But I just think that we, as a society, we look at men meant to be stronger, you know, they might be able to fight it off. They might be able to, you know, get out of the situation where we look at women, little girls, and we think that they can't.

[Rico Hondo]

And the thing is, and also to add to that, a stepfather is coming into the situation, assuming they're heterosexual. This example, the stepfather is coming into the situation already attracted to women. So if I have a son and a daughter, I. The likelihood that he's going to be attracted to the girl is higher than the boy because he's already attracted to women, which is why he's here. You get what I'm saying?

[Kale]

That's terrifying.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. So like, I look at it from that perspective and now if your daughter.

[Kale]

So you have like a teenage daughter.

[Rico Hondo]

This man is already attracted to a woman because that's why he's with the mother. There's no telling how far he can go if this man is pushed to the edge or if he can't have self regulation or maybe he has mental, mental health issues, you know, so for situations like that, I look at it way more delicate, delicately than if I, Than my actual son. You get what I'm saying?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Rico Hondo]

So it might be biased, of course, but that's my reasoning for it. Some people are very sick and. Yeah, and that's what I. And I'm not taking that chance. And I realize that more people are sick now than probably ever. At least it's more prominent now. And we are talking about it more.

[Kale]

We hear about it more. Not saying it never happened before, but.

[Rico Hondo]

And I hate that because you get to a point where I remember I was pushing my son, like, go outside. Go outside and play. Just go play. But then, you know, I told him, like, you know what? You're not going to be allowed to play any video games unless you spend one Hour outside. Because I don't want him to be like those kids. Like the kids that we see, we're seeing. He went outside, he came back, and I was like, what'd you do? He's like, there was nobody outside. And I'm like, damn, I'm the only one pushing him to go outside. But there's nobody outside. Right. So now we got to a point where I realized that as parents, we actually operate in more fear than ever before. Yeah, right. Because of all the potential or the news or everything that we do here, which I hate that because I would love to. I would love to have the comfortability to say, hey, listen, my son is outside. He fell, he bumped his knee, but he's okay. He played football with the kids or whatever the hell boys do, or even girls.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Rico Hondo]

But even if. Here's the thing, girls, it's different. It's different. It's different because a little boy could do something too, you know, like, you have your daughter outside, she's 12, he's 13.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Rico Hondo]

You get what I'm trying to say? Like, it's. It's. Protecting women is like an every single second job. You have to see all potential things or the worst case scenarios and. And try your best to navigate through them. So it's different having a stepdad versus a stepmom, in my opinion. So I think it would be different. And I don't want my daughter to be in the house with another man that. That I have to. I have to be able to vet him entirely to make sure that he's sane enough to not do anything crazy, because I promise you, I'm crazier.

[Kale]

I'm actually shocked that you're a stepdad, like.

[Rico Hondo]

And I said, I would never do it.

[Kale]

By the way, you. You don't strike me as someone who you. The way that you talk about certain things, you make it seem like you would rather jump out of a window than be with someone who has a child by another man.

[Rico Hondo]

I might have even said that in the past.

[Kale]

You probably have.

[Rico Hondo]

Right.

[Kale]

And like, basically, a mom that has a man with another child is scum of the earth.

[Rico Hondo]

I would not. Scum of the earth. Just not for me. Right. So my thing is, I wouldn't want to do it now. You know, when this situation happened and I looked at it and I talked to my mom about it, she was like, well, it was done for you. I said, well, damn, you got a point. Right? So that made me help. Help me step up to the table or step up to the plate. But the thing is, you know, nowadays I realize something very, very like for me, my mom set the bar too fucking high. As a woman and as a mom and a woman, right? And that's why, like, if me and my girl were to split today, I need to see how you mother. Because if you don't mother or parent the way I would like you to, I don't care how much I love you.

[Kale]

So you think that your girlfriend was a good mom before you came into the picture, you had a chance to see her as a mother?

[Rico Hondo]

I did not really have a chance to see her too much as a mother. It was also during COVID you know what I'm saying? So I saw, like, moments and like, situations like, maybe I'll be on FaceTime with her. And like, he's there and, you know, he was getting. His schooling was online at that time, homeschool. So, I mean, I saw it, but you ain't. I didn't see it. I didn't experience it. Yeah, I wasn't in the house with you. You know what I mean? But going forward, I got to make sure that you do parent the way that I need you to parent. Because I see and I know of too many situations where the mom or the dad is not the parent that the other significant. The significant other would like for their child, right? And if you come. If I come into a space with you and you don't have a children or a child and you want to have children, and then you have children, and I don't like the way that you parent is going to make me look at you and treat you differently. Although you could be a great wife, but if you're a terrible mother, if I'm a person who values a parent for my kid, for my children, then I might actually start to not like you, right. Or think that you are as good as a wife as I once thought you were, you know, so that's kind of why I have, like, a little weird preference now, because I want to just know, how do you tend to your kids? Because I'm a person that's now, I would say become about family more than ever before.

[Kale]

Right.

[Rico Hondo]

You know, and now, because I am big on family now, I'm not playing that game. Everybody has to be a. Moving has to play a role in. In terms of moving the kids in a positive direction, right? I coach the kids on my team for. I mean, I coach the kids in my. In my town for free. I work with them for free. I. I bring them, like, if they want something and they see me, I buy them whatever they need, you know, like, I'm active with all the kids or all the people, all the kids in my town, you know, in my age group, because I coach them. So, yeah, like 10, 11, 12 year olds. Right. Not every one of them. I know what you mean, but you know what I'm saying? So, like, because of that and I'm such a big presence for them and. Big presence in my household, I want you to be a big presence as a woman too, you know, and if you've never experienced that, you might be a woman who just, like, can't deal with the stress of a baby. Baby, which could be numerous different reasons postpartum, a bunch of different things. But there's a lot of bad parents that I'm seeing, even from kids, even from the coaching perspective. I'm watching parents, I was like, I would never want this person to be a mother of my child. You get what I'm saying?

[Kale]

What about a father? You don't think that, you know, oh.

[Rico Hondo]

Well, the father too, right? But he can never be the father of my. Well, I guess if he was with, you know, the mother of my child, he could technically be the step parent. Right, right, right. But I don't even look at it from that perspective. But when I look at women and how they parent their son, because that's what I did with coaching football, I'd be like, I'd never want a relationship with a person like you. Doesn't matter how they look. It doesn't matter how they treat me. I would not want you to be the mother of any of my kids. Like, so, like, one. There's a preference, right? So I do believe raising boys and raising girls are a little bit different. I would agree, but there's a preference. Like, I don't think, like, dropping your kid off and not being supportive is a good thing for me because.

[Kale]

What do you mean dropping your kids off and not being sportive?

[Rico Hondo]

Like, there are some parents who would drop their kids off and just leave and come back and pick them up to do what? Like at the kid. At the sports. I'm saying.

[Kale]

Oh, okay, okay. So you're saying sports. Okay. Because I'm just thinking, like, working parents, like, for work.

[Rico Hondo]

Well, do you think. Okay, yeah, if they're working. That's right. But there's some parents that don't even go to the games.

[Kale]

No, I know that to me, doesn't make like. But I also came from a. Nobody ever came to my games. Do you know what I mean? So I parent the way that I wasn't parented. But I do agree, like when I hear stories and they're like, oh, my parents didn't come to my games, I'm like, but you live in a two parent household. I don't, I can't wrap my head around it. So I agree with you on that.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

I'm tracking now with situations like that. That's just a small situation that obviously bleeds into other situations. I can only imagine if you're not there and being supportive of the games, I'm going to assume that you're not being supportive and you're missing other moments in other areas. Right, right. It's never just one, one thing.

[Kale]

Right. If you're lacking here, you're likely to be lacking somewhere else.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah. Because it's a character flaw.

[Kale]

Right. Okay, I see what you're saying.

[Rico Hondo]

So like situations like that, I would not want to. I would not want that person to. To be the parent of my child.

[Kale]

Well, thank you for coming on Barely Famous podcast.

[Rico Hondo]

Thank you.

[Kale]

I will be curious to see how people react to this.

[Rico Hondo]

Yeah, it doesn't matter. Reactions are just reactions. We appreciate the reactions though and engagements. Make sure you keep on subscribing and hopefully one day I won't be barely anymore. Just be famous.

[Kale]

What's your podcast called?

[Rico Hondo]

So definitely I have the Hundo shows. I actually have my own app that'll be out very, very soon. So depending on when you do see it, definitely download and subscribe to that. That's called the Hundo shows app where there's going to be a bunch of different podcasts and other shows that are produced or co signed by myself.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Rico Hondo]

So yeah, so definitely check that out. I'm also on eight at the table. You can check out as well. I also have my sunglass brand which is called Hundo brand. We have luxury sunglass and then we also have sunglasses and then we also have affordable sunglasses. So we have options.

[Kale]

You didn't bring any for me, so we're not promoting that.

[Rico Hondo]

It's all right. I'll send it to you in the mail. I'll send everybody.

[Kale]

I'm kidding. What are your Instagram, Tick tock, whatever, wherever people can find you.

[Rico Hondo]

Rico, underscore Hundo H u n d o. That's everywhere. You can also Google it, find out who I am.

[Kale]

Go educate him. Leave all the the comments combating misogyny in.

[Rico Hondo]

And I can educate you too as well. We have a men. We have a mentorship program. Program called Hundo University you can enroll and then we go ahead and get you a nice diploma.

[Kale]

See y' all later. Sam.

[Rico Hondo]

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[Rico Hondo]

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Now. Y' all know there's always more to the story. And on the Tony Brienne TV podcast, we break it all the way down, whether it's viral moments currently shaking up on the Internet. Blake Lively has been acclaimed the American dream girl for quite some time now. And now it seems she's America's most hated pop culture phenomenon. Everyone's talking about or deep dives into stories that deserve much more attention. These black women are getting pregnant by people that we also consider to be lower than them. I'm here to give you the full picture, genuine insights and conversations mainstream media often overlooks. Some women are getting so many fillers and Botox injected into their face that they don't even realize how crazy they can potentially look. Here we explore different perspectives. To a lot of people, Kylie looks a lot older than she really is. And above all, we speak the truth. That is not okay. And that should get you registered as a sex offender. You must check out the Tony Brienne TV podcast. You don't want to miss what's coming next.