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- [00:00]
Kale
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And unfortunately I have a lot of these.
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Welcome to the show.
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Things are going to get weird.
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It's your fave villain, Kale, and you're listening to Barely Famous. All right, everyone, welcome to a solo episode of Barely Famous podcast. This is my first solo episode in a really long time and especially, especially the first episode solo for 2026. And I just kind of wanted to give a little update on my life because controversial Kale is back and I fear it's going to be the best year I've ever had. I'm manifesting it. 25 put me on my ass and 26 is gonna lift me right the back up. So that's where we're at. I'm gonna start this episode off with a bang. Okay. And this is going to spiral into other topics. The first question is, where are you at currently in your co parenting journey? The newer struggles that are popping up as the kids age. For example, Elliot getting a car Lincoln on social media, etc. This is a great question. It's going to come with a lot of backlash, I'm sure. I am of the belief that the older the kids get, 50, 50 no longer really works for us. I'm not going to speak for all people across the board, but for my kids specifically, I think it's. We're finding it very difficult for the children to unpack their belongings at one house and then by the time they get settled in after the first day or two, five days later, they have to turn around and do the same thing again. And then we're finding, oh, well, I forgot my laptop at Dad's, or I forgot my laptop at Mom's. And now we have a situation with a car. And I do. This is going to air a little bit after I give Elliot his car. And so I wanted to do a more in depth discussion on that specifically. And this is not to. On anyone. It's just kind of like to give some perspective on where we're at and when it comes to Elliot's car specifically. Prior to me purchasing the car, there were some things going on between Joe and myself where Joe doesn't pay for anything. I mean, in full transparency, Joe pays for nothing. Joe asks me if I need anything. Never. He literally never asks me do I need his contribution anywhere. So last year, Elliot went to prom. I covered the entire cost of the tickets. I covered the entire cost of his outfit. I covered everything. Went to the pictures with him, took pictures with him, the whole nine. But it was never asked of me did I need any.
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Anything.
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And no, I'm not going to ask the other parent to contribute because it's my opinion that Joe knew that he was going to prom, and so it was his responsibility, in my opinion, to reach out and ask for does he need to assist anywhere. So when the topic of the car came up, Elliot had told me that he wanted a Jeep. And I was like, okay, like, I could get behind a Jeep. And in my opinion, I owe Elliot the entire world. I would not be where I am without Elliot. I would not have sought out certain opportunities that I have gotten if it was not for him and getting pregnant with him and truly getting on TV and then having him. And he didn't really sign up for any of that. And so I feel like anything that Elliot wants, he gets. And so the conversation about the car came up and he had expressed to me, you know, that he would be interested in getting a Jeep. So in my head, I committed to getting him a Jeep. And I wasn't going to say anything to Joe. Joe didn't bring it up to me. I didn't bring it up to him. Elliot had come home one day and said that he had mentioned to his dad that he wanted a Jeep. And his dad immediately was like, no, I'm not allowing you to drive a Jeep for whatever reasons there may be. Not sure. I text Joe and I say, hey, I'm gonna go car shopping with Elliot, or, sorry, I'm gonna go car Shopping for Elliot. Just wanted to give you a heads up at that point. Joe said that he felt like that warranted a bigger conversation. And I said I would be willing to talk to him if he was contributing money. If he was going to contribute to Elliot's vehicle, I would be willing to talk about it. I was left on red and I never spoke to him about the car again. I have no intentions of speaking to him as I sit today. I have not had a further discussion with Joe about said car. He did not contribute. I paid for the car its entirety. I plan to pay for the insurance. I paid for everything in it. I got him an emergency kit for it. I got him all kinds of things. Elliot is taking driver Zed. And so I ultimately did not get him the Jeep because of whatever reasons Joe had given to Elliot. And then Elliot shared with me. I decided that it was probably if I could just keep everybody happy and get him a car that was a little safer, I think that would be a good compromise. But in just in the circumstances of him not contributing to it at all, I just didn't feel like he had any other say, in my opinion. And you can love that, you can hate that, you can disagree with it. I truly don't give a. It's that that's what's working for us is we have no problems when I ask Joe for nothing. So I'm not asking. I did mention to him in that conversation about the car when it came up, you know, he, that he did not contribute. He has not contributed to cell phone co pays, haircuts, prom outfit, homecoming outfit, car, nothing. He's contributed to nothing. So as far as I'm concerned, this is what it is. At the point that I feel like my son is responsible enough to drive this car. My son is also high honor roll, president of ASL club in drama club. Gets himself up and on the bus at 6, 10 every single morning. I'm of the opinion that my oldest son is responsible enough to drive this car. I don't know what that looks like once he gets the car. And there is, you know, the 50, 50. I would. I could imagine that there will be times where Elliot is with me more than 50% and there will be probably times where he's with Joe More than 50%. I don't know how Joe is going to react to the car and quite frankly, I don't give a. So that's where I'm at there for Lincoln on social media. I maintain his Instagram account, but he's not on TikTok I know that he wants to be on Tik Tok, but I'm sort of conflicted on this because obviously we know that sometimes they are privy to information on Tik Tok and social media that they. We don't want them to see. Where I'm conflicted is that their friends, specifically Lincoln's friends, are telling him what's on there anyway, or they have Tik Tok, and so he's watching Tik Tok from their phones. If he's on YouTube shorts, it's not really that much different than Tik Tok, because a lot of times, and I'm guilty of this, this too. Like, I'm reposting the same content on all the platforms. So even if I don't have Tick Tock, I'm still going to see people that have the same content on Tick Tock. I'll still see it on YouTube or Snapchat or Instagram. And so for me, it's like, I'm a little conflicted on it, but it's not necessarily a point of contention for me and Javi. And I would prefer to not rock that boat. We've gone through enough ups and downs over the last 18 months that I would prefer to just kind of keep it a moot point. I don't care enough about Tick Tock. It's not like Lincoln's gonna make any money off of it right now.
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He's too young.
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And like I said, whatever he's gonna see or be told is going to happen regardless of Tick Tock. So it's not worth the battle that I would be picking. So that is not something that I really care about. The only reason why I have maintained Instagram is because you can get paid for it. And so at. At the point that Instagram is maybe still even a thing, by the time they can get paid, I would like to hand that over to Lincoln to make a couple dol. Obviously, anything could change between now and then, so it's subject to change at any point. It might go away, it might not. I don't know. It could just change all together and you might not be able to get paid on it. I don't know. But, you know, that'll be up to Lincoln. At least it will already have a following if he chooses to pursue social media in any way. And so for that, I just keep the Instagram up and running. Same for Lux and for Creed. It's just kind of like, I want to have that as a business situation if it comes to that. At any Point as far as Chris, I mean, that relationship dynamic sort of hasn't changed much. We don't see eye to eye on pretty much anything. And that's pretty much it for Chris. Elijah and I are great. We get along really well. We co parent really well. If he needs me to take the kids when he has them for whatever reason, I'll do it and vice versa. We don't have any custody order in place. We have no child supporting and place. Elijah and I just get along really well. I mean he just changed the oil in my car today. So I, we just don't fight or I don't know. I, I'll be curious to see how things sort of evolve from here because obviously the needs of the kids change as they get older. And so I'll be curious to see what differences we see or how we do things. But I don't know, I feel like we have a pretty good foundation. I'm not super worried about any points of contention because I feel like we'll be able to work it out. It's just easier with Elijah to have a back and forth like whenever. And I talked about this briefly on social media, but if you missed it, you very well may have. In December of 2025, flu A almost took us the out all seven of the kids, me, Elijah, everybody. And then around that same time, I want to say it was the same week the school sent out a notice saying that hand, foot and mouth was going around. And so at that point I called Elijah and I like, hey, like I really don't want to send the kids to school for the rest of the month because they have two weeks off between now and New Year's anyway. Like, I just, we've already done the hand, foot and mouth thing. It's absolutely disgusting. And if I can prevent it, like maybe this. And he, he, he was a little apprehensive because he was like, ah, I have to work, like whatever, but we'll figure it out. And so we ultimately just decided that we would not send them to school. But it was like there was a little bit of a back and forth, but it was like a very cordial understanding back and forth. And so I really hope that things stay that way. And I know that there will be some bumps road. Obviously I'm not naive to think that there won't be, but it's just a more even playing field. Like I don't feel like one of us has the upper hand over the other. We don't bring personal things into it. I don't know it's just way easier with him. Okay so when your energy dips or you feel off, usually it's hydration related.
- [11:53]
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- [14:29]
Unpopular opinions, Controversial Motherhood takes. This one's gonna ruffle feathers again. And I've talked about it a million times. I don't have iPad kids, I don't raise iPad kids, and we just don't do iPads in our house. I know that doesn't work for everyone, and that's completely fine. But I also am really weird about video games because when Elliot and Lincoln first got into video games, I felt like they were spending a lot of time on them. And so with Lux and Creed, it's been really challenging because that's all they want to do is be on PlayStation or Xbox and it's so over stimulating for them. And then when they're coming off of it, it's like a huge ordeal. Elliot and Lincoln just are not, like, they'll get on PlayStation, but they're not video game kids, if that makes sense. Like they're. There's a line, if I were to allow Lux and Creed to be on the game 24 hours a day, they would. And so with the transition adjustments and mood changes and mood swings that we have with them, I can't. I'm really weird about video games for them. And the toddlers have no idea what an iPad is. So I would like to keep it that way all together. And so that's like, I would say my most controversial take. How is life changing for you personally as the kids get older and all your children move out of the infancy, infancy stage? What are you looking forward to? I recently called Elijah and I said, I want to put Valley Inverse in gymnastics. So I'm really excited for that. And I also just like went through all of their, like, toddler clothes and was, you know, donating and listing on Poshmark and giving to my sister and giving to Becky. And it's bittersweet, I'll say, because even with Elliot being 16, it's like there's so many milestones that I have to look forward to with him. But on the other hand, it's like my, the triplets, if you will, are getting older and there's no more baby stage. Although another unpopular opinion Is I am not a fan of under one. The under one year old is so challenging and, like, trying to get your pink back during that time, it's just rough. So I'm sort of looking forward to not that, like, one year mark
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and,
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like, versus personality is coming out so much. And he's so funny. And just, like, seeing the kids, like, come into their own people is just so fascinating to me. And so really just, like, I'm looking forward to the dynamic, seeing how the dynamic shifts with all the kids, because I have noticed that I was sort of trying to force Creed into this, like, big kid category and, like, sort of, like, grouping him with Isaac, Lincoln, or, sorry, Elliot, Lincoln, Lux. I was grouping Creed in there. He. He's actually closer in age to Rio than he is to Lux. And so I noticed that Creed actually does way better with Rio and verse. And so it's. I'm really, really excited to kind of see what the brotherly dynamic is, and obviously Valley, too, but that and just the influence that Lincoln has had on Lux and Creed with soccer. I never thought I was going to be a soccer mom. I never thought I was gonna be a soccer family. But when I tell you the love of soccer that Lux and Creed have because of Lincoln is so fascinating to me. So what are the babies going to be interested in because of influence versus what? Because they're. They're so much younger. Like, the influence won't be the same from Lincoln to the triplets as Lincoln is to Lux and Creed. So I'm really curious to see what Lux and Creed, or just Creed's impact will be on Rio vs Valley vs what they actually want to do on their own. So I'll be curious to see how Lux and Creed influence the babies. Like, that's. I'm really excited to see that, and I hope it's for the better. Some of your parenting regrets and what you would have done differently. Wow. Well, this is a heavy hitter. I don't regret any of my children. I don't necessarily regret any of the relationships, except for Chris. The relationship with Chris taught me a lot about life and who I am and how to move forward in relationships after him. If I could have the same exact children, but have healed myself in some way to not have given them all their own fathers, but have the same exact children. Like, I know that that is impossible, but that is my biggest regret, I would say, is, like, creating so many different dynamics. Because a lot of times, you know, Lincoln, now that he's with me a majority of the time, Will say something, I want to do this or whatever. And then Lux will get really excited and say, oh, can I come too? And having to say, oh, you'll be with your dad that weekend or like they'll come home, where are the babies? And it's like that part of it is really challenging. And so I, I wish that I would have given myself time and had the tools and would have committed to therapy far before 2019, because I have sort of went sporadically throughout my life, but it wasn't enough to like do anything if I would have just healed certain parts of me continuing on. But obviously if I would have done that, I wouldn't have had these kids. So it's such like a catch 20. It's like a double edged sword. I feel I get a lot of backlash about like, oh, like you knew who you were laying down with. You think you know who you're having a baby with most of the time. Like I would argue that a lot of people have a child with someone that are married to this person, that this baby was planned, baby comes, it rocks your whole world. And you're like, now I want a divorce because this isn't the partner that I thought that I was with. Because I think a person that you're marrying or that you're in a relationship with as a partner is one thing, but how they are as a parent will show you a completely different side that they probably didn't even know they had or didn't have. So for me, I think that being very cautious with who you have a child with also waiting, and I know that sounds so cliche, but like you don't have to have a baby in your 20s. You literally don't have to. And so I think that my choices would have been very different and who I chose to have children with would have been very different had I waited until late 20s or early 30s to continue my mothering journey. Because like I said, I mean they might not even realize that they might be a partner when you become a parent. So I, I think that just give yourself time, like you don't have to rush into having kids. And it's in some ways along this journey I've like reflected and been like, okay, well I kind of had the best of both worlds because I'll get time without the kids and then I have time with the kids. But then it's like now I'm miss huge milestones during that time. It's really not the best of both worlds. And at the end of the day the child is like, you know, Lux, for example, is, like, wanting to do certain things that his dads are wanting to do certain things over here. And it's like, that's just not how we move in this house. Or maybe y' all don't do that over there. And so, like, creating that for them. I don't know. I think the advice would be wait until your 30s is my biggest advice. And I know that sounds so crazy, but, like, everyone's frontal lobe in theory, should be developed by 30. So it's like, like, you don't have to rush it. And I mean, no offense, but, like, Becky is in her 30s and she's married and she's struggling. And I this. She's been open about it. So it's not like I'm just, like, outing her right now, but, like, go listen to what she has to say on the podcast. And that's not even a partner problem. She's struggling with a supportive partner and has openly said she doesn't know how she would do parenthood without the right partner. And she doesn't know how single parents do it. I mean, she's struggling with a. With a good partner. So I think just giving yourself time, if you're a really good partner. I'm not talking. I'm not talking bare minimum. I'm talking about you go above and beyond for your partner. You have the potential to be a good parent, but it's not necessarily true. You can be a great partner and not a good parent. If you're a bad partner, chances are you're going to be a shitty parent. Because if you can't give to your partner the, like, you're about to procreate with this person, you're not going to
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be a good parent.
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Right? Like, and it's weird because it's like, oh, like, I wasn't the best boyfriend. I wasn't the best husband. I wasn't the best wife, but I was a really good mom. And it's like, how. And if you pay attention long enough, like, if you say you get with someone in your 20s, and I feel like I'm qualified to talk about this because I've been in enough up relationships. Like, if you really pay attention and you're in. You're in a relationship with someone from, like, in your 20s, maybe you get married 25, and you get married 25, and you, you wait to have kids until you're like three one, three two. I think you'll know by then if you pick the right one to procreate with like, if you wait long enough when you're married, you'll know because they'll, they'll reveal themselves in ways that you're like, oh, but then sometimes you don't know until you have a kid with them. And that's what sucks. Your resolutions slash goals for the year ahead. And not just business. A lot of your business is discussed across other platforms and the podcast. I think people would like to hear more about your personal, personal development journey. I made a bingo card for New Year's and, and I took a picture of it and I can tell you what is on it. I'll talk about like the personal things that are on it. Not necessarily like my business stuff. I put in one of my squares. Travel. Travel is really hard because at one point in my life, when it was 50, 50, I was sort of more flexible to be able to travel when I didn't have kids. And obviously as the kids get older, dynamics change. Two of the dads don't live in the state. Chris lives in Maryland and Javi lives in Virginia. I have those three kids 90 of the time. And so I can't travel the same way. And so I really would like to make time to trav with or without the kids. Like there's room for both, I think. This is not business related, but we toured a private school last year that the kids absolutely loved. And so one of the things is to send my kids to this private school, specifically high school, giving my kids the opportunity to do that if it will get them ahead in life later on. I didn't have the opportunity to do that. Finding the one can feel impossible.
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one big thing that I put on here that I have actively been practicing since I wrote it is learning to say no. There are two people in my life specifically that I love dearly but truly, truly, truly take advantage and of me and they take my kindness for weakness and it' I let it go for too long. And so I have recently been telling those two specific people no. And it's been really hard for me. Declutter my office and organize everything so it has a place. This one is way harder for me than you guys would think because there's so much stuff and not enough storage in my house. So when I built my house I rushed the process so much that I forgot to add closets and then the closets that I do have in the kids room rooms are not big enough. And then there's no linen closet so there's no storage. And I had three more kids so it's not like I could turn anything. So trying to downsize, declutter and organize is a lot harder than you would think because there's seven kids and nowhere to push it. Personal goal I would like to fix my armpit boob. So I'm going to that appointment. When is that? Next week. I when I got my reduction last December, I had implants placed small implants. I don't remember the cigarette. They're like a a B cup. And it's because when you get a lift or do a lift or a reduction, you don't have to get implants, but it does. It might make them look better, depending on what your surgeon says. Some people look great without them, and some people need a little bit of fluff in there. When I got home from that surgery, I picked up one of the babies when I wasn't supposed to, and I did feel a tear when I did it. And I just. Nothing happened. So I didn't really, really think anything of it ever again until I was getting ready and I noticed that, like, this implant, this is my right, started to, like, move. And it's not all the time. Like, it doesn't always sit in my armpit, but I think I ripped the pocket a little bit. And so I showed the girls one day. I'm like, wait, why? And I lift my arm, my arm. My thing is going in my. In my. My boobs going in my armpit. So that's a personal goal of mine. And, you know, honestly, if it's not concerning, I might just leave it, to be honest. Oh, this is a good one. That I really want to focus on creating a capsule wardrobe. I want quality pieces that I can mix and match, but have, like, maybe like five or 10 items of, like, tops and bottoms and be able to mix and match. And, like, Rebecca and Alessandro are, like, excited about this. It's hard for me. I don't know how to do that. I know, and you're so right. I need help with it too. I think how this is going to sound crazy. It's going to sound extra and it's not necessary, but I feel like it really could be a quick thing. I've heard that Kim Kardashian puts someone puts her outfits together, takes a Polaroid, and then sticks the Polaroid on each outfit. I feel like that would help me, like, learn how to style it. Because if I had staple pieces that I could do variations with and I had the help of how to do it, it, I think that would be helpful. Like, that would be fun to do. Like, you know, so that's on my personal. Another thing on here is focusing on not over consuming. That's something I struggle with because I've I different sides of the same coin. On one hand, I don't want to overspend and over consume. And on the other hand, I'm like, oh, if I like it, I want it, I buy it. And so that's this constant struggle in my brain is over consumption. Poshmark. Most of my closet, I. I have. I separate things into piles. Certain things for donation, certain things for Poshmark. I would like to do a lot of that. There's one thing. I would like to start law classes this summer and start like literally one class at a time starting in the summer, specifically because I won't have the kids half the time. And so I could dedicate my time to one class at a time. It might take me 10 years to get through law school, but I will do it. And then another thing I have on here is more dinners at the table. Now, this is going to be a little bit hard for me because the toddlers are going out of their high chairs and there is only six chairs at my current dining room table. The dining room is not big enough to add chairs. And if I have some of them sit at the counter, on the bar stools and some of us at the table, we're not all together. And the dining room is not big enough to put a bigger t. Because I. When I built the house, I specifically asked to not have a formal dining room. I only wanted a little dining room off the kitchen because we weren't. I didn't. When I built the house I'm in now, I never wanted to have extra space that was not being used. So when I lived in Middletown, I had a 7,000 square foot house and it was me and three kids half the time. And it was so big that literally half of the house never got used. And it was like, what am I paying all of this space, the upkeep, the bills, the housekeeping for this, that's not getting used. So when I built the house I'm in now with four kids, I was like, this is perfect. And it was perfect until I had three more. So that one is something that I'm going to have to figure out. And then I would like to start working out. When Killer Sports opened and I. The reason why I say when kill Killer Sports opens is because I have to be realistic about my time. There is no way in hell that I'm one going to have the dis, the discipline or the time to work out at home. And the second thing is I absolutely do not have the time to drive to and from from another place during the week. Whether it's one time or five. I do not care what anyone says. It is not about discipline. This is about my time and how I'm able to get seven kids myself. The businesses, my animals, like everybody taken care of there literally leaves no time. But when I'm physically going to be at work at Killer Sports because I understand that when you open a physical business like a brick and mortar, brick and mortar. You have to physically be present for a lot of the first year or more because you're trying to get things going and there's going to be a lot of like, trial and error. And so I want to spend a lot of time at the physical place and so I'll be able to work out. Up until then, I don't think that I will have the time or the capacity to work out. And so I want to be really realistic about that. And so I put workouts at killer sports, so I think that will be more realistic for me.
- [32:56]
And then the last thing I have
- [32:57]
is take my meds consistently. I was diagnosed with ADHD years ago and I never took my meds for it. And so up until this point, I have been taking my meds every single day, including weekends. And I have noticed a tremendous difference in my focus and also just like my productivity. So I want to see if I'm medicated longer, like ongoing, if that improves even further. And I think it'll help with law classes, like I said, even just starting with one. And those are like my real personal goals. The rest of them are kind of business related, so. Okay, update on your grief journey. How do you feel now versus when you first went to visit your dad? That one. It's tough because it's like I got the closure I needed. I hope that his death was quick and painless. And in his sleep I learned that he died early in the morning. So I'm. I'm assuming it was in his sleep. And I could only hope I have a completely different perspective on him overall. All but ultimately he was not in my life. For whatever reason it was, he was not in my life. And so it's hard to miss somebody that I never had a relationship with. I'm so thankful for the opportunity that he gave my sister and I to speak with him. And I'm so grateful that I went down there and I was able to talk to him.
- [34:14]
I just.
- [34:15]
And I still do wish that I had the chance to tell him that I'm not mad anymore because I. I really do look at him in a very different way now. I wish that I was able to tell him that before he died. I think he knew. Like, I just kind of feel like he knew that I. This was going to give me the closure I needed in time. Like, if not right then, because I know, I remember, like, I filmed myself like talking about it and like, like thankful, but like, still a little bit angry and like trying to let go of the anger and, like, I think with time, I. I did. I don't. I'm not angry.
- [34:53]
Like, I don't.
- [34:54]
So when I talked to Bobby Jones on Barely Famous Podcast, he said something about something along the lines of, like, if he didn't go through everything that he went through throughout his life and, like, truly, like, dark, he would not have the relatability that he has today. And I feel like that really resonated with me. Like, that's something that I. I don't think that I would be able to empathize with people the way that I do if I didn't go through the nitty gritty that I've been through and obviously don't wish my kids to go
- [35:23]
through any of that.
- [35:23]
But I think that they. And they're. They are very empathetic. But I don't know. I feel like what I went through kind of built character, and it lets me see things from multiple perspectives instead of just one. And I also learned from that that there is always three sides to the story. So there was my mom's side, and obviously, everyone in Suie camp, even though they didn't really like her that much, still backed her up when it came to my dad. Don't talk about it. Don't speak about it. And if we talk about it, we're not going to have really great things to say. And then you go on the other side of it and it's like, well, this is my story. I fully am understanding that there are multiple sides to the story. No matter how much you love someone and you want to believe what they're saying, and maybe what they're saying is their truth, but there is another side to it. So I think it taught me a lot. And I just. So Alessandra just said, like, maybe me crying when I was going through the entire process with my dad was more like grieving the potential of my dad and what could have been versus the actual death. And I think that is spot on. Like, it's. I know that people say you can't miss what you never had, and in some ways that is true. But, like, I was sort of, like, more upset at that point that it was like, I didn't get to see this side of you. Growing up, I didn't get to make the decision. And I kind of always said that, too. Like, when I have talked about my situation, it's like, my mom made those decisions for me. She never gave me the chance to decide for myself. And so. And then I also understand that to me, an absent father is better than an in n out father. And so in some ways like it is a parent protecting their child and then in some ways in other people's scenarios is like control. And I do think in my mom's situation it was more a situation of control than it was about Cuz like I said before, I've said this a million times, like my dad may have been poor but he wasn't a horrible person. He wasn't a deadbeat. Sure he might not have had a whole lot of money, but I don't think that we would have starved. My mom literally starved me. Like that's no joke. And I do think that we would have probably had fun together, had some type of relationship. And was it if at, you know, at the point that Lincoln is at where I would have had to choose or been given the option to choose, I could have made the decision for myself. If it's like I really don't like going with my dad, it's not a situation that he was abusive towards me or my mom and so I just feel like to Alessandra's point, it was more like grieving what could have been
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What would you tell younger Kale when she was beginning this journey? I go, I. And I've said this a lot on coffee combos. I go back and forth with being at peace and also just, like, being angry. Like, there are certain aspects of my life where I do still find myself getting really frustrated. And again, just going back to the Bobby. The Bobby Jones episode was like, he said that he forgave his grandparents for not taking him, him and his sister in the same way they took his brother in. There are periods of my life and phases of my life where I feel forgiveness for my family who didn't take me in. But then there are other times, and I would say lately, and maybe it does is impacted by what I'm going on, what's going on in my life, and it maybe is more projection. I don't know. But there are times, like now, like, over the last couple weeks, I have felt a lot of anger and resentment towards my family about not taking me in. What would I tell younger Kale? Wow. I don't have an answer to that. Like, I really don't, because it's like, that same question could be posed to my children. Like, what would you tell your kids? And it's like, I can't tell my kids anything that would. Hindsight is always 2020. I think sometimes I, like. I think I'm still stuck in, like, childhood Kale, where, like, I don't even to this day, right now, as I'm sitting here, I don't know if we're gonna be okay. And, like, I know that's, like, trauma inflicted. And, like, everything that I've been through and, like, not to be dramatic, but, like, anything can be taken. I live as if anything can be taken. Everything can be taken from me at any point. And so I don't know that I'll ever fully believe that. And so because of that, I don't think that I can give advice to younger Kale. She just, like, you still feel connected to her. Yeah. That's really weird. And it's so interesting to me when I, like, meet people that have no trauma. I'm like, you're, like, so cool and fun and, like, just, like, living life. And I'm just like, how do you get here? And then I see people like Bobby who's like, you know, he means what he said, like, that he forgave those people, and he wouldn't be where he is if it wasn't for all of that. And, like, sometimes I'm there, Sometimes I'm like, you know, thank you to all my family. That didn't take me in because it built. It created a resilience in me and, like, this, like, hustler mentality. But also, I struggle with being the provider. Like, I am more the dad than I am the mom. Yes, I am nurturing, but I'm not as nurturing as I could be if I wasn't the provider. And I think that's really hard for me because it's like. I think that also is a struggle for me in my, like, relationships, like, my romantic relationships, because I am. Am usually always the provider. So it's just, like, doesn't give me a chance to, like. I don't know. You haven't been in a position, from what I observed, even just like, on the outskirts in your adult life at the point where somebody else is taking care of you. So up until this point, at almost 34 years old, nobody's ever taken care of you. I think the closest I got to someone taking care of me was Eli, Elijah. That was the closest I got, and that was not in a financial aspect, and I don't want it in a financial aspect. I can pay for things myself. I don't care. And I know that this is, like, a big thing, and I'm more so speaking to people who don't like me, not the people who are actually watching this or listening to this is like, you guys kind of already know my heart. And, like, you wouldn't have stuck with me all this time if it. If you didn't. But this is more to the people who give me about my relationships and stuff. Stuff is like, it's not. I don't. Nobody's. I can't say that nobody has used me for my money. I'm not saying that. But I don't care about that stuff. That's not what I'm looking for. So it sort of is just, like, water under the bridge for me where, like, Elijah took care. Like, he literally put me in my soft girl era. Like, that man took care of me until he didn't. Do you know what I mean? But I would say Elijah is the closest person that I was to being taken care of. Like, that is. Is the truth. And maybe people don't want to hear that, but that is the truth. What boundaries do you have now that you didn't before? What boundaries are you looking to build for the year ahead? Why are they important? To you and what happened that made you start implementing them? This one's tough. I. I want to learn to say no. And I know that sounds so cliche and, like, being a people pleaser or whatever, but, like, I literally have created such a. A toxic cycle never being able to say no to people. And part of it is because, like, that's my heart. Like, I want everyone to be happy, but then on the other side of it is, like, I don't also want to do things that make other people happy. And then I'm upset because I wasn't able to say no. And then I'm like, maybe I'm. I don't know how. I'm trying to think of an example recently. Oh, I believe. I believe people pleasing is from trauma for sure. I need to work on my boundaries in terms of, like, it's okay for me to tell someone no, and it makes them uncomfortable. Like, them being uncomfortable should not dictate my decision. And that is what it boils down to, I think. And that's what I need to get comfortable with, is like, okay. And if they don't like that, that's for them to deal with. I would rather you shoot it to me straight. And I would rather be uncomfortable. It's kind of like when I. My doctor, after I had Lincoln, I had, I guess, third infertility, but, like, secondary infertility. And he looked at me and he was like, kale. He's like, you should be happy with what you have. You have two healthy boys. There are kids. There are people in their 40s that are trying for the first time and can't get pregnant. Like, just be happy with what you got. And some people were really upset when I talked about that. They were like, why would your doctor say that to you? But I'm like, he's not wrong. And he was direct with me. I would rather him be.
- [44:58]
Yeah.
- [44:59]
Like, at first, it was probably like, a shock, and I was like, well, damn. Like, you didn't have to say it that way, but, like, truly reflecting on it when was like, I appreciate that. So I don't know. Like, I do need. Because I think also I set myself up for a cycle of, like, talking, right? Like, if I'm not direct and I do something I don't want to do, and then I turn around and complain to my partner about doing this thing that I didn't want to do because I couldn't say no in the first place. Now I'm talking. I don't want to talk. And so it just Becomes this like neverending cycle. I think first is trusting myself, committing, getting honesty and like. And by honesty I more so mean like okay, I do I actually want to do this for myself or do I not want to do this for myself? Am I doing this for somebody else? Like really like focusing on that first so that I can decide what's what and then yeah, I would agree like breaking the trust with myself if I know that I'm. I'm not going to be happy with the outcome of this. I need to say no to begin with. Updates on friendships, maybe talking about where your friendship is with Bone, Sterling, Etc. Okay, well Bone is married to a pilot and living her best life. She's a mom now and she doesn't live in Delaware. She visits sometimes cuz her family is here. But she is kind of all over the place with her husband's job and so I don't get to see her very often. But when we talk or when I do see her literally pick up right where we left off. So there's no bad blood, no beef, no nothing. I had actually gotten her her a car seat for. I didn't get to go to her baby shower because I had all the kids home and I was like I'm not bringing all these, I'm not even bringing three of these children to a baby shower. So I didn't get to go to the baby shower. It was in Delaware not too long ago. And then I sent her a gift. I got her the car seat that was on like her registry or whatever. And so we're good. I think Bone and Sterling are also good. Sterling lives in Texas and I did an episode with her when I got my breast reduction. We did an episode, we did two parts. And after that I think I've seen Sterling more than I've seen Bone. And Sterling lives in Texas. Like every time I'm in Texas now because of my sister, my dad, everything, I would stay with Sterling. So Sterling and I are great. And she just text me last night, it was like 10:30. She's like hey, are you awake? And then I text her back at 6am so that's our friendship. And she's another one that is just like you pick up where you left off. Me and Sterling don't beef about anything. And she is a friend that I do feel comfortable saying no to because. Because we just have that sort of dynamic and she'll say no to me. So not that we've ever really needed to, but we're all good. If you're ready to Discuss what was it like healing after such a public breakup? I think a year later, I'm finally healed. It's weird because I still don't want to throw him under the bus. Like, I think it's clear. And we all know that he cheated and that was really, really difficult for me. But I, I still love him as a person and I never want to defame him in any way. And like, you know, I can love Elijah as a person and I could not like what he did to me. And we can still co parent and be a good team. Honestly, the only thing that I can say about like healing after it being so public was that the only thing that helped is time. And even now I'm like talking on the side to Alessandra about certain things. And it's hard because looking back, I don't know if I should have addressed it sooner. I still question whether I should have. And same with like the whole hobby live situation. Like, I don't know if I should have addressed it sooner. I almost wish that I did, but I also don't know what the ramifications would have been if I did. So it was like, scary because I wanted to learn from past mistakes of speaking on things too prematurely. And like, it's such a weird. What's the word? Like, it's like it's an economy. Yeah, the juxtaposition. Everyone's talking about their New Year's resolutions. And if you're kind of like me
- [48:57]
and they're starting to fall off now
- [48:58]
that we're sort of headed to Q2,
- [49:01]
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- [49:44]
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- [50:50]
I think that I'm healed from the cheating, obviously. That all being said, it didn't need to be as public as it was. We did not have good, good examples for relationships. So then turning around and trying to model a good relationship has been very challenging for me in full trans. I mean that's no secret. People know that Kale doesn't let her sheets get cold, whatever. And it's like, yeah. But I also didn't have great examples. So I'm just learning, working with what I got. Okay, question and answer from followers. There are a lot and I am so excited to answer because I have wanted to answer these ones for a long time. The first one Dream Podcast guest post Malone and I wrote that on my bingo card. I literally wrote get posted on the podcast. I'm not saying it has to happen in 2026, but I'm manifesting it for some point. Number two is one that I'm excited to answer because it is why haven't you left Delaware? When Javi and I first got divorced, I really did want to go back home to the Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania. I wanted to go where I had had a support system. But as you guys know, that with divorce, no matter how hard, no matter how much people will say I won't choose sides, I won't choose sides. There are people who choose sides and then naturally, sometimes relationships don't sustain anyway no matter what side they pick, right? So with that being said and Being in Delaware and having kids living in Delaware, I didn't have a whole lot of mom friends back home in Pennsylvania. So that was number one. Number two, Javi and I's divorced was very, very rocky and challenging. So that was another reason. The third reason is that in the state of Delaware they want the there to be first and foremost, 50, 50 where it's possible. And then second is it's nearly impossible to try to relocate a parent because they prefer 50, 50. And when a parent relocates, the one that stays in Del. Delaware is considered like the more responsible one or whatever. And so I was never gonna have the ability like no judge was going to let me move if I requested it, the right, if I went about it the right way and filed the paperwork for relocation and things like that. At the time Javi and I, Javi was still in Delaware. Now the fact that Javi is now not in Delaware and Chris is not in Delaware and Elliot is 16, I, I still don't honestly think that the judge would let me go simply because Chris and Javi have moved out. They need one parent to remain basically like the anchor of stability for the kids. And I, I'm using the word stability lightly because I do think Hobby's home is stable. Stable. So I'm not saying that he's not stable, but I think just in terms of like moving a child out of the state and away from everything that they knew. I just recognize that and the amount of money and time I've spent in family court that the judge is not going to let me go anyway. So I have not filed. Now with that being said, I have played with the idea of basically waiting until Lincoln is in high school and then trying to relocate because of the dynamic between Chris and myself. And then with Lincoln, you know, maybe go once he's older and in high school and able to decide, I feel like I might be able to, to relocate. But that would also be contingent on my relationship dynamic with Elijah at the time. So we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I also have 20 acres that I would like to build on and I'm telling you right now, if I build that house on 20 acres of land, I'm never leaving that property. So like literally my business will be based out of there. Killer sports is literally a 10 minute drive from that property and one of my big financial goals is to break ground on that land. So I once, if that does end up coming to fruition, I will not be leaving. I might get like a vacation home somewhere, but that's it. What's something you wish you could remove from your daily life and something that you wish you could add? I wish I could remove the amount of time I spend in my car because I'm. I waste so many hours driving back and forth. The thing about Delaware is that it's so small, there's only three counties here. But the time between locations is so much and that if I didn't have that, I would be able to fit in a workout or I would be able to fit in something else. But I really just don't have time between anything I do. So that's one thing. I guess a workout would be specific. I wish I spent less time in the car so that I could fit in a workout. Would you ever do one one on one interviews with your kids?
- [55:23]
Yes.
- [55:24]
Elliot's 16th birthday already aired. And then there will be an episode with Lincoln. I do think Lincoln's old enough to talk about certain things and obviously we'll keep it light and fresh because he's so. Yes. And then Lux and Creed, they'll have to be a little bit older because it's hard right now. Like if I were to interview them, they would probably give like one word answers and it would not be super interesting. So I want to wait until they get a little older. How do you create you time? Usually it's the time in the car that I'm spending driving everybody around. I'll put on an audiobook or U time is if I have time to read before bed. I would like to say that my nail appointments are me time, but they're not. They're usually working nail appointments, working pedicures or I'm reading a book for book club, which is also a job. It's like a passion project. So I'll get me time someday. It just is not right now. And I'm okay with that. I feel like my kids are only little for this long so I'm just gonna like I'm okay with it. I actually another thing I want to work on this year is not resenting other moms who don't align with what I choose. Like in theory I could get a babysitter and go out. In theory I could send the kids to their dads. I could. But why? Like the movies will be there when I my kids are older. The bars will be there when my kids are older. All of the things will be there when they're older. I don't need to focus on me time right now. I don't need to focus on going Out. How was the housemaid movie? I loved the Housemaid so much. I saw it a second time in the theater, so I loved it. If you have not seen it, definitely go check it out and there is a sequel in the making and I maybe I can make a cameo in it. Like, I need Frida to like vouch for me. If there is anything that I want to do in 2026 and 2027 is like, if I read the book and you know that I've read the book and I had you on my podcast, why am I not going to the premiere? Like, please help me. That's a little entitled. But is there any major difference between being a boy mom or a girl mom? So I know that this is a very nuanced. It's a very loade question and there are a lot of nuances to it. For right now, I'll say in the toddler stage, outside of the outfits, there's no difference. The outfits and the diaper changes, obviously, but like, so far, no. However, with that being said, I also know that you do have to raise boys and girls separate, like, differently. Like, it's very different dynamic raising girls than a boy. I know that I very early on and my boys kind of have more confidence naturally than my daughter. My I, she could look a hot ass mess. And I tell her she looks great every day. This morning, got dressed in this, the cutest outfit and I said, come here, mommy, come look in the mirror. You look so pretty. And like telling her. And she like got all shy looking at herself in the mirror. And I'm like, no, you have to look at yourself in the mirror every day and like tell yourself how great you look. Nobody did that for me. Nobody did that for me. Nobody told me I look cute. People talked about my weight. I mean, we've talked about this. My mom tried to fit me in boxes that I did not fit in. And it's like just making sure that my daughter, daughter, like I. And I tell and I'll look at her brothers and like, tell her she looks beautiful. Like, making sure she knows. How is your relationship with your sister? My relationship with my sister is stronger than ever. We text all the time. We talk about advice, we talk about books, we talk about kids. Like, I shipped a bunch of stuff to her for she's. She just had a boy or she's having a boy, depending on when this airs. My sister is having a little boy and I just shipped her a bunch of boy stuff and then she shipped me a box of girl stuff from her daughter. That's been really, really cool because I'm like, I never thought that this was possible or that I would ever have this. And I just love her and I just wish that we lived closer. If I was to ever leave the state of Delaware and go anywhere else, it would be Texas, because Sterling and my sister are there. And my Sterling and my sister also know each other. So I could sort of. We could all be friends if it worked out. Are there any podcasts coming to Killer you can talk about? The podcast space right now is really saturated and everyone thinks they can have a podcast past and it's way harder than you think. So at the current moment, I'm not really focused on bringing new shows in so much as building up the ones that we already have. Like, I would rather execute on what we already have than bring in more and spread ourselves too thin. I would like to get the existing shows growth before I bring in more shows. So I'll say that. What fictional book character reminds you of yourself? There's a character named Bea in the book Heart Bones. I know some people love, love Colleen Hoover and some people don't, but she writes good books and I really don't care like good palate cleansers. I read Heart Bones early on in my reading journey and I really resonated with Bea. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins. Taylor Jenkins Reed was a heavy hitter for me, and I know that some people cannot relate the same way I can, but her being in like this public sort of, I'm not in Hollywood, but like this public era, this not era, this, this public dynamic with like, fans and like, act whatever I really like. I tabbed and annotated the out of that book because there was so much that I related to just like my different relationships with my kids, dads, the, you know, just so much Before I Let Go was a book by Kennedy Ryan. And I did see a lot of myself in those characters while I was going through a divorce. So not necessarily in today's era of Kale, but definitely saw parts of myself in Before I Let Go. The Girls who Grew Big Big was a good one. It was not necessarily like, reminds me of myself, but it was very relatable, if that makes sense. Like not in the way that like, I experienced some of those things, but a lot of the feelings and things that I went through as a teen mom and a young mom were in the Girls who Grew Big. So that one was good. There's nothing else that like, rings a bell off the top of My head. If I think of any, I'll post about them for sure. But those are like the main. The main ones. Okay, let's see what else. Okay, what's the biggest knowledge nugget you gain in 2025? Probably that being the bigger person or keeping your mouth shut does not always do something for you. I've come to the conclusion that I am who I am, whether it's messy or controversial or not. There are parts of me that will be messy and controversial, and there are parts that are not. But trying to clean up my act has literally gotten me nowhere. I think that you can apply being the bigger person to certain situations, but you don't have to apply it to everything. And I'll say that was the biggest takeaway from the end of 2024. 5. How does it feel to have an almost 16 year old? Well, in this airs, he'll have been. He'll have turned 16 and I still can't get over it because he's literally like worried about, does he have a ride to a sports game at school? And I was getting knocked up all over the place. So I just am like, how are you this good of a human? And you were raised by me like I was doing drugs. I was riding dirty with Taquan in the back of his mom's minivan and smoking weed and rapping to Lil Wayne. You know what I mean? Like, my son saw a vape and was so disgusted and disappointed it wasn't even my vape. And I'm getting chastised by a teenager. And I was out there riding dirty like I was. I can't. I literally can't. Those are the updates of my life right now. And I hope there's not too much drama and chaos in 2026, but if there is, I'm not holding back. I hope you liked this update. Let me know if you have any other questions for the next solo episod. I would like to do these quarterly maybe. And until next time, you guys can follow me on Instagram. You guys can follow me on. You guys can follow me on Instagram, Tik tok, Patreon, anywhere. And also Killer network.
- [64:12]
Justin Sylvester
I'm Justin Sylvester. And I'm Blakely Thornton. Join us for yesterday's the podcast where we break break down the most pivotal pop culture moments in history and give them the queer love that they deserve. The things that got us riled up during dial up, those makeouts that should have been breakouts and the drops that were cemented in pop. I'm talking Bennifer Tyra versus Naomi, Tom Cruise jumping on that couch and so much more. So please rate us, subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or anywhere you get audio related content. We also take Venmo and Cash app ach or credit card number as well. We're malleable. You know we're gay. Today,
- [64:51]
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Kale
I swear, if I'm lying, I'm dying.
- [64:57]
This is the mindset free. This is the mantra. This is the
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