Barely Famous – "Elliot Rivera’s Sweet 16"

Host: Kail Lowry
Guest(s): Elliot Rivera (son), Lincoln (younger son)
Date: January 16, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode celebrates the 16th birthday of Kail’s son Elliot, exploring what it means to turn 16 amidst unique family and public dynamics. The conversation spans Elliot’s growth, grappling with identity and boundaries, parenting reflections, time management, and aspirations, with both candid humor and vulnerability. Kail’s signature rawness shines through, tackling both light-hearted and deep topics with her sons.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Turning 16: Milestones, Changes, and Responsibilities

• Elliot shares how being 16 feels "crazy," marking a new chapter with greater responsibility, particularly around driving and independence.
  • “I think that over time it’s that, like, build up. And then when the day comes, it’s gonna be like, wow, like, what next? Like, I’m gonna be driving.” (02:09, Elliot)
• Driving sparks mixed feelings: excitement for freedom and nerves about overstimulation and managing passengers.
  • Kail and Lincoln tease about who they’d trust with Elliot at the wheel, with Kail emphasizing minimal distractions. (03:00–03:15)
• On family dynamics: Elliot and Lincoln reflect on being opposites in personality (“equally responsible, so freaking different”), and Kail expresses trust in both but notes their individual differences. (03:28, Kail)

2. Reflections on Growth and Teen Years

• Comparisons between Elliot’s upbringing and Kail’s own: Elliot feels proud of his different path, focusing on positive outlets and avoiding risky behaviors.
  • “I’m proud to be doing better than you, you know, because, you know, I’m not smoking weed and you know, going around, you know.” (04:36, Elliot)
• Kail acknowledges surprise at how well Elliot turned out given her own and his father’s teen years:
  • "It almost seems impossible for someone like you to come from someone like us.” (05:06, Kail)

3. Time Management and Pressures

• Elliot details his busy schedule: clubs (drama, ASL), schoolwork, family responsibilities, and social media.
  • He voices the real stress of balancing commitments.
  • “There’s no way to manage time there. Like, there’s no time to do that, you know what I mean?” (09:24, Elliot)
• Burnout from social media: Although once a source of income and pride, it became unsustainable with his current workload.
  • “Sometimes it’s not that I don’t want to. ... it is the burnout, but it’s also that I don’t have the time for it.” (10:19, Elliot)

4. Sexuality, Identity, and Acceptance

• Coming out and self-acceptance: Elliot discusses coming into his identity as a gay teen.
  • Accepting he’s gay was a confidence-builder, but brings unique challenges and adversity.
  • "There’s being gay comes with a struggle...it’s much harder because that makes me a minority, you know.” (13:58, Elliot)
• Support system and friendship: While his close friends don’t care that he’s gay, making new friends can be more complicated now than in childhood.
• Elliot expresses he would’ve chosen to be straight to avoid adversity, but accepts his reality.
  • Memorable: “I’ve always accepted it. Oh, but if I had the choice, I’d choose to be straight.” (13:51, Elliot)
• Kail reflects on their lack of close gay males in their family/friend circle, and how that may have impacted support. (15:39–15:55)

5. Boundaries, Public Life, and Personal Safety

• Elliot’s awareness around privacy: Boundaries are stricter due to his time in the public eye and his identity.
  • "I wouldn't want to post pictures or videos of...getting my new house...because that stuff is easily found.” (18:05, Elliot)
• He draws a line between sharing hobbies/passion (safe) and sharing personal, safety-related info (risky).
• He learned boundary-setting from observing Kail’s more public life, especially regarding relationships.
  • "I watched you put your relationships online and personally I wouldn’t.” (20:33, Elliot)
• Kail openly admires Elliot’s strong boundaries and self-awareness.

6. Aspirations: ASL and Acting

• Elliot’s passion for ASL (American Sign Language): He recounts discovering ASL through YouTube, then immersing himself academically and extracurricularly.
  • “I'm just so happy that I've run into it this early because if it wasn't for that...I wouldn't have really fell in love with ASL and theater.” (22:41, Elliot)
• Job/career planning: Plans to major in ASL interpreting, minor in performing arts, balancing both as feasible.
  • "ASL interpreting is a solid choice and acting is not something that's guaranteed and it's also not going to happen right away.” (39:03, Elliot)
  • Kail affirms his pragmatic approach to his passions.

7. Parenting, Impact versus Trauma

• Kail’s fears around parenting mistakes: She talks about feeling that she’s “traumatized” her children, haunted by public feedback.
  • “I read every single day that I traumatize my kids.” (54:04, Kail)
• Elliot distinguishes trauma from impact: Trauma holds you back; impact makes you stronger.
  • "Trauma holds me back, but impact makes me stronger. So that's the thing.” (53:15, Elliot)
• The conversation is gently emotional; Kail wonders about the unknowns of raising kids so publicly.
• Elliot offers reassurance: He feels impacted, not traumatized, and gives Kail grace for her journey and learning curve.
  • “You're just figuring it out.” (57:24, Elliot)
  • “Everyone deserves that grace.” (57:43, Elliot)

8. Lessons Learned and Hopes for the Future

• Biggest takeaway: Stay true to yourself, worry less about public opinion.
  • “That is the lesson—to not care what other people think and less overthinking about opinions of the public and being...true to myself.” (41:44, Elliot)
• What would Elliot tell his younger self?
  • “He is going to find his people, he is going to find what he loves to do, and he's going to do great things.” (42:11, Elliot)
• Favorite comfort food: Grandma’s empanadas. (42:29)
• Song on repeat: "Getting Older" by Billie Eilish. (42:42)
• Hobbies: Junk journaling, reading, collecting vinyls, concerts, video games. (42:55–43:34)
• How would he like to be remembered?
  • “I would like people to remember my impacts on people, or at least my effort to make an impact, you know, for others, because that's truly what I want to do.” (44:32, Elliot)
• Turning 16 means…
  • “It means that I am growing, changing, becoming a better, better self than I was before.” (44:56, Elliot)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We keep her humble.” — (04:25, Elliot teasing Kail about being called out by her kids)
• Kail’s humorous honesty:
  • “I'm on my meds now, and they're not working.” (05:57)
• Elliot on growth:
  • “I would say passion. ... More [passion] for ASL and acting.” (11:27–11:35)
• Boundaries and public life:
  • “You are more rigid in your boundaries. How did you get there?” — “... It's just a matter of learning from that. Like I see that and I build my own foundation from that.”* (19:47–20:09)
• On independence and driving:
  • “What do you mean by more freedom? Because what the- do you think you’re gonna be doing?” (30:21, Kail, laughing)
  • “Not what you were doing at 16, thank God.” (30:29, Elliot)
• Defining trauma vs. impact:
  • "Trauma holds me back, but impact makes me stronger." (53:15, Elliot)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:00–05:06 – Differences between Elliot’s and Kail's teen years, pride in making different choices
• 08:00–09:44 – Discussion of time management, extracurriculars, and burnout
• 11:03–11:35 – Passion for ASL and acting as a core part of identity
• 13:18–15:04 – Coming out, self-acceptance, and struggles/joys of being gay
• 18:05–20:41 – Boundaries around social media, privacy, and learning from Kail’s experiences
• 22:23–23:31 – Career aspirations and strategy (ASL/acting)
• 39:03–40:16 – College major/minor plans and balancing passions
• 41:44–42:11 – Lessons learned and advice for younger self
• 53:14–53:15 – “Trauma holds me back, but impact makes me stronger.”
• 57:24–57:43 – Discussion about offering grace to a parent learning as they go

Episode Tone & Style

The tone is candid, loving, and unfiltered—Kail mixes humor with moments of deep vulnerability, while Elliot matches her with mature self-awareness. The dynamic between mother and son is affectionate, teasing, supportive, and honest; heavy topics are approached with grace and a touch of comic relief.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a heartfelt and unflinching portrait of coming of age in a public family. Elliot’s reflections on identity, boundaries, and growth will resonate with teens and parents alike—especially those navigating unique family or public dynamics. The conversation is a mix of birthday celebration, generational perspectives, real talk about struggles, and hope for the future—with plenty of laughs and a few misty eyes along the way.

Where to Find Elliot

• Instagram: @isaacelliotr
  "You’ll find everything else from there." (63:14, Elliot)