Podcast Summary: Barely Famous – “Healing the Hurt We Didn’t Ask For With MY Sister Mikaila”

Host: Kail Lowry (PodcastOne)
Guest: Mikaila (Kail’s sister)
Date: December 12, 2025

Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and revealing episode, Kail Lowry sits down with her sister Mikaila for their first podcast conversation. Together, they open up about their emotionally complex family history, growing up apart, learning about each other’s existence, their relationships with their late father, and how generational trauma, secrets, and family dysfunction shaped their lives. Bracingly honest and raw, the sisters address difficult topics: identity, estrangement, grief, reconciliation, and their hopes for a healthier future for themselves and their children.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Meeting Each Other & Discovering Sisterhood

• How They Found Out About Each Other:
  • Mackenzie (Kail) found out about Mikaila at age 12 after a family argument revealed her existence ([02:25]).
  • Mikaila didn’t learn about Mackenzie until she received a Facebook friend request in high school, which her mother initially asked her to delete ([02:42]).
  • Both express how adult decisions and secrecy deprived them of a relationship during their formative years.
• Distinct Family Experiences:
  • Their mothers each had different, difficult relationships with their father (Raymond), leading to secrecy and tension ([04:37]).
  • Early attempts at connection were hindered by unresolved pain between the parents and fear of disruption.

2. Dealing with Absent and Flawed Parenthood

• Father’s Role & Legacy:
  • Both sisters reflect on limited or inconsistent relationships with their dad, describing him as kind to them as children but “complacent” and affected by his own demons ([07:08], [34:00]).
  • Discussions of generational trauma and substance use on both parents’ sides, and speculation on “why was he drawn to women with vices?” ([29:50]).
• Identity & Last Names:
  • Mikaila speaks about her “identity crisis” after her mother changed her last name, wishing to revert to Lowry when she turned 18 ([22:17]).
  • Both reveal baggage about their surnames, their struggle to belong, and the later discovery that “Lowry” isn’t even their biological lineage due to a family DNA revelation ([50:21]).

3. The Impact of Family Secrets and Adult Decisions

• Family Conflict and Reconciliation:
  • Both recount a period of five years where they stopped talking due to misunderstandings (miscommunication about a trip, misunderstood TV scenes, grief) and struggles to manage conflict healthily ([37:01]).
  • They see parallels with their parents’ inability to get along, saying old wounds bleed into new relationships.
  • Mikaila: “That experience with our father...I think it bled into us because look what we did. We did the same toxic behavior and stopped talking to each other for five years because we couldn't get our shit together.” ([36:43])
• Reconnecting:
  • The sisters describe reestablishing contact through birthday messages, with both feeling hesitant and fearing being blocked ([42:58]-[43:24]).
  • Realization: they’re closer now, having grown and matured emotionally in the intervening years ([42:44]).

4. Grief, Coping, and Compassion

• Losing Their Parents:
  • Both share their approaches to grief (disassociating, turning cold, not knowing how to grieve properly)—and emphasize the importance of forgiving themselves and each other for lost time ([38:18], [41:41]).
  • Discussion of their father’s death, ambivalence, and validation of different grief responses ([42:00]).
• Breaking the Cycle for Their Kids:
  • They feel a responsibility to “keep our shit together for the sake of our kids” so cousins can grow up together and not repeat painful family patterns ([63:13]).
  • Mackenzie: “No matter what your family situation looks like, you have to put all your personal feelings aside for the kids.” ([63:55])

5. Ancestry Revelations & Family Truths

• DNA Surprises:
  • Both took DNA tests and learned their dad was not biologically a Lowry, but a Morris, unraveling another family secret ([50:21]).
  • They grapple with relatives’ denial, the stories told to protect feelings, and the right to share their version of events: “That is our story. That is what happened to us.” ([58:21])

6. Reflections, Advice, and The Future

• “We’re Not Really Strangers” Game:
  • Sisters play a bonding Q&A, exploring perceptions, comparisons, giving and receiving advice, and lessons learned ([58:46]-[62:54]).
  • Both wish they’d grown up together, with Mackenzie expressing a newfound joy in being able to say “my sister” at all ([44:38]).
• Support Systems:
  • They discuss the importance of a “village” and commit to supporting each other moving forward, recognizing that asking for help is difficult given their upbringings ([65:18]).

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Missing Out Due to Adult Failures
  • Mackenzie: “The adults couldn't get their shit together enough for us to have a relationship.” ([04:07], [36:35])
• On Longing for Family
  • Mackenzie: “I’ve never been able to say [‘my sister’] my whole life… I keep saying it just to hear myself say ‘my sister.’” ([44:38])
• On Generational Patterns
  • Michaela: “Look what we did. We did the same toxic behavior and stopped talking to each other for five years because we couldn’t get our shit together.” ([36:43])
• On Grief and Validation
  • Michaela: “Is it bad that I don’t feel anything at all [about our dad’s death]?” ([42:13])
• On Responsibility Going Forward
  • Mackenzie: “No matter what your family situation looks like, you have to put your… all your personal feelings aside for the kids.” ([63:55])
  • Mikaila: “I think following this conversation, we need to keep our shit together for the sake of our kids.” ([63:05])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:26] – Introduction; sisters begin sharing their family story.
• [02:25] – Discovery of each other’s existence.
• [04:07] – The impact of family conflict and secrecy.
• [22:17] – Mikaila describes her identity crisis over surnames.
• [29:50] – Patterns of addiction and family dysfunction.
• [36:35] – Grieving lost time, “should’ve grown up together.”
• [37:01] – Discussing their estrangement and reconciliation.
• [41:41] – Responsibilities and regrets in siblinghood.
• [50:21] – DNA revelations and the truth about their last name.
• [58:46] – Playing “We’re Not Really Strangers:” reflection and bonding.
• [63:05] – Key takeaway: keep it together for the kids.
• [65:18] – A renewed commitment to be each other’s “village.”

Closing Thoughts

This episode is an unvarnished look at the pain of family secrets and the resilience required to build new bonds amidst past hurts. Kail and Mikaila open their hearts about longing for connection, working through dysfunction, and consciously rejecting toxic cycles for the next generation. For listeners, it’s a poignant reminder that healing is messy, but possible—and that hope can exist in the relationships rebuilt from what was once lost.