Barely Famous — "Vibin' & Spiralin' with Alessandra"

Host: Kail Lowry
Guest: Alessandra
Date: December 19, 2025

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode features an intimate, candid conversation between host Kail Lowry and her close friend Alessandra, delving into the heaviness of 2025, the personal and societal toll of current events, the struggle to engage authentically on social media, boundaries around political expression, managing burnout, and the essence of “just surviving.” The episode blends raw vulnerability and humor, touching on everything from reproductive health and internet scrutiny to confessional fantasies and future travel plans, ending with a call for kindness and open-mindedness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up: The Weight of 2025 & Burnout

• Alessandra shares that after coming out of depression in 2023, 2025 felt heavy “for everyone.” Both she and Kail discuss the cumulative impact of world events and working so closely together, blurring the line between professional and personal realms.
• “We collectively have had a really hard 2025.” (Alessandra, 05:20)
• Burnout from content creation and the inability to engage meaningfully becomes a central struggle.
• Kail: "I can't show up on socials the same way I used to... I want to contribute something. I don't want to be on the Internet just to be on the Internet." (08:06)

2. Women’s Health & Tracking Cycles

• The duo discusses the reality of women’s cycles, the lack of public awareness, and practical tracking for energy and health.
• Alessandra: "Ovulation is when supposedly we have, like, the most energy. We're feeling the most confident in our bodies." (03:09)
• They touch on apps, PCOS, not being on birth control, and how easily misinformation abounds.

3. Impact of the World & Social Media on Personal Wellbeing

• Both talk about the struggle of witnessing violence and suffering—especially that which feels close to home.
• “People are like, you’re not directly threatened, but to constantly, every single day, be bombarded with news... be ripped apart and just like, just disgusting, violent rhetoric. I mean, I really don't want to cry because my makeup. We have to go later today, but... It was really, really hard for me.” (Alessandra, 08:53)
• The emotional toll of being vocal online: hate, death threats, and the polarization of discourse.

4. Responsibility & Risk for Creators Speaking Out

• Navigating when and how to use platforms to speak on political and social issues, especially for people of color.
• Alessandra: “If you have a platform, you should... I should know as a person who I am supporting what they believe in.” (18:13)
• Risk of financial loss and safety concerns complicate decisions about “speaking up.”
• Kail: "It's tricky... I'm not knowledgeable enough... So I align with it. Let me align myself with someone who knows how to word it, because I'm not super great." (22:31)
• White allies’ potential: “White people are more apt to listen to white people.” (Alessandra, 17:54)

5. The Internet as a Hostile, Draining Space

• Frustration and exhaustion with the current online culture where everyone is offended, and good faith conversation is rare.
• Alessandra: "I genuinely believed that, like, the majority of people were good. And I have to say, this year has really, really challenged that belief for me." (14:05)
• Kail: "It's not a super friendly, fun place anymore. It's a very, it's very heavy." (21:32)

6. Societal Shifts: Education & Policy

• Brief discussion on political events (e.g., defunding of the Department of Education).
• The devastation of attacks on professional women, teacher shortages, and the decline of public education.
• Alessandra: "If you want to control a populace, you're going to control their education. And it makes sense that that's what they're going for." (24:32)

7. Finding Escape & Managing Stress

• “That's why I'm reading 10 to 12 books a month... when I have any downtime, I'm not doing anything else.” (Alessandra, 27:21)
• Book buying, avoiding social media, and talking candidly about using distractions to cope.

8. Random, Relatable Tangents & Friendship Dynamics

• Pet dreams (birds, Great Danes, highland cows), unlikely business ideas (petting zoos), sports parenting woes, and the real work-life blend for creators.
• Kail recalls failed attempts at sports as a child and her current lighthearted advocacy for women’s sports.
• The crew jokes about trading jobs within their “Killer Network,” revealing their camaraderie.

9. Parenting & TMI Moments

• Funny-yet-informative segments about boys’ hygiene (“jock itch”), raising both boys and girls, and confessions about not knowing everything as parents.
• Brief, frank discussion about bodies and sex, as always filtered through their trademark humor.

10. Self-Reflection, Confession & Acceptance of Chaos

• “None of us know what the [expletive] we're doing. We just wing it and hope for the best.” (Alessandra, 52:28)
• Honest confessions (theoretical, not literal) about fantasizing “killing off” annoying public figures.
• Emphasis that mistakes and confusion are universal; no one really has it all together.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Burnout & Social Media:
  "It's not worth the money, it's not worth the effort if we're not going to show up in a real way that actually can contribute to something, whether it's knowledge or entertainment or whatever. And I just, I feel like I'm just there." —Kale (08:33)

• On Political Silence:
  "With a platform comes privilege. And I think people should use their privilege to help others." —Alessandra (17:53-17:58)

• On Online Hate:
  "You get death threats on the Internet. You get told that you're like a horrible person or that you're stupid or you're wrong and it takes a toll on a person." —Alessandra (06:54)

• On the Internet’s Hostility:
  "People are not. In today's, like, culture. I would say people are offended if you have a differing opinion. They're not even willing to hear you out. Like, they do not want to hear it." —Kale (13:25)

• On Parenting Wisdom:
  "By child five, you just know. But then in some ways, I'm like…some things you just know, some things you're like, wait, I've never heard of that." —Kale (39:24)

• On Friendship Dynamics:
  "You attract so many people that are opinionated and that want to lead and are naturally maternal like me. Rebecca and Kristen are very different people, but very similar at our core. And then you're like, but I don't want that. But then the people you keep closest around you are like that because you do low-key want it." —Alessandra (50:41)

• Confessions Segment:
  "I've envisioned killing a lot of people this year. Yeah, a lot." —Alessandra (53:02)
  "This podcast is my confession." —Kale (54:11)

• On Survival:
  "We're all just out here doing our best. If you ask Lincoln, I'm just here floating around the earth." —Kale (52:13)

• Final Takeaways:
  "Be nice to us. Be a lesbian. Speak up for important topics... and don't judge people for doing so. Be open minded to having conversations. Be respectful when trying to say your opinion. And not everything is offensive. Right. Like, stop being so easily offended." —Alessandra & Kale (59:23–59:41)

Important Timestamps

• 05:20 – Alessandra shares the heaviness of 2025 and recovery from depression
• 08:06–08:33 – Burnout, the struggle to create meaningful content
• 13:25–14:23 – On intolerance to differing opinions and the declining belief in people's goodness
• 17:53–18:44 – The risks and responsibility of having a platform
• 21:32 – Kail on toxic online culture
• 24:24–25:17 – Discussion about U.S. political moves affecting education and professional women
• 27:21–28:03 – Escaping stress through books instead of social media
• 30:52–32:02 – Passionate advocacy for women’s sports visibility
• 39:24 – Parenting experience: “by child five, you just know”
• 52:28–54:11 – Confession segment, honest reflection on not having it all together
• 59:23–59:46 – Final life takeaways: kindness, open-mindedness, and resilience

Conclusion

This episode embodies Barely Famous at its best: unfiltered, honest, and deeply connected. Kail and Alessandra move from the personal to the political with ease, revealing both the hardships and small joys of their lives. They call for greater empathy, less judgement, and a return to real, nuanced conversation—reminding listeners that it’s okay to not have everything figured out, and that simply “surviving and thawing and bopping” through life is more universal than anyone admits.