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- [00:05]
Aquafina
My veg like a operatic ballad yo veg like grandpa's cabbage and my veg effortless yo veg post ads on Craigslist My veg squirt aloe vera yo veg look like Tony Danza My veg like tasting heaven yo veg manages a 711 yo my vag make your girl panties cream yo veg spreads hepatitis C and my vag a chrome Range Rover Yo Vag Ha Hatchback 81 Toyota My Veg Harvard Law School yo veg Apex Technical my vag speak 5 different languages I told you vag bitch make me a sandwich yo my vag feel like winning the lottery yo shit got turned down from eharmony my vag1 best vag yo vag1 best supporting veg it's time that we let the world know bitch your vag look like Jannarino Aquafina's a genius and a vagina is 50 times better than a penis this time that we let the world know bitch Evangeline is a genius and her vagina is 50.
- [01:10]
Dixie de La Tour
Times better than a penis hey there and welcome to the Body Storytelling Podcast. I am sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour, here again to bring you true stories of sex, kink and gender and we have some beautiful stories this time and our theme for this episode, episode 31, is Significant Others. But before we get to those amazing stories, I'm going to remind you that this podcast is brought to you by you. We support this podcast through patreon.com spelled P A T R E O N dot com and then you go bawdy B A W D Y and you can support us at the level of your choice. It is an ongoing monthly donation to help us keep this thing going. Podcasting was something I was never able to do before and now I can thanks to things like Patreon. So go there. Patreon.com BODI Support us at the level of your choice. Tell your friends about us and help us continue to keep putting out this podcast. We have been producing shows in a venue in San Francisco for 10 years. We have so many stories that need to be shared with the world and you can hear them wherever you are and whenever you want by supporting our Patreon. Thanks so much and let's get to the stories, shall we? Our first story for this episode is someone that has been on our podcast once before. Way back on episode six, we featured one of her stories, in fact, the only story she had told at the time on the Body Storytelling stage. And as part of our 10 year anniversary, I did an event that I do called Body Slam, which is putting your name in the hat to tell your own story of sex, kink, and gender. And surprisingly, I called out the name Lacey Liu when I pulled her name out of a hat and she got on stage and she told us another incredible story. She is someone who talks to trees, believes in fairies. She spent her twenties traveling the country in an old VW bus creating stories. And now she's here to tell you a story she's all about less shame and telling your stories. And, you know, I'm all about that. So our first storyteller for this episode is Lacey Liu.
- [03:53]
Lacey Liu
So Bodi has not gotten me laid. Bodi did get me text about a half an hour ago, though, so we'll see. This is not a story about that, but has anybody here ever had a one night stand and then found that you're fucking the same person months and months later? And like, this is not the way this is supposed to go?
- [04:12]
Dixie de La Tour
Yep.
- [04:12]
Lacey Liu
Okay. This is a story about a time that that happened to me. So it's 2013, and I'm actually doing really well for myself. I live in a mansion, a beachfront mansion in Sonoma county, and I'm growing weed. And I'm doing really good at it. I thank you. Thank you. I'm taking a lot of trips and I'm buying a lot of amazing jackets, but I'm not creating a savings account. So when I have a bad crop, I freak out. And so I call another one of my friends who's also a ganja farmer, and I beg him if I could come and just trim some weed and just make some money to pay my electric bill and pay my rent and just get by to my next harvest. So I show up at the farm and also another thing, I just ended a relationship, and I don't know if you're anything like me, but I need to fuck somebody else to kind of cement my breakup to be like, actually move on. So I show up at this farm, we get drunk, and there's this guy with green eyes, and he grabs my ass. And so I fuck him. So you're right. That's how that goes. So many months later, I'm still fucking the same guy, and I'm wondering, why am I fucking a trimmigrant? He doesn't have his shit together. He's just like this guy who's not supposed to go like that at all. So he's pursuing me heavily and I just keeping him at bay. Keeping him at bay. I don't want a relationship with this guy. He does not have a shit together, obviously, but I'm still fucking him. So a year later, he gets this great job and he's actually managing a ganja farm, a huge ganja farm in southern Humboldt County. And I figure, like, money equals. He's growing up, he's putting on his big boy pants, which is not the way it works. It's like Peter Pan. It's not happened, but I agree to be in a relationship with him, and I'm like, okay, there's obviously something there. I've been hanging out with him for a year, so I'm like, okay, I'm gonna actually try this. So he gave me some money. I bought us a trailer, and I put, like, cute carpet in it and curtains. And I like, matched the curtains with, like, hand towels and just made it smell nice and do what girls do. And I got somebody to live in my house and manage my little ganja scene there. I moved up to be with him in Humboldt. He'd offered me $20,000 for two months of work. And I know Dixie's not a math person, but that's good money for just hanging out on a ganja farm. So I'm living with him in this trailer and we're managing this scene, and it's a lot of hard work. And I see a total change in him. He's gone from being this, like, goddess worshiping, like, really honoring me, like, you're my queen, how can I serve you? Kind of attitude to telling me he's going to trade me in for a younger model and just, like, being really shitty to me. And I notice that he's drinking every day and he's doing a lot of blow. And this stress is just way too much for him. There's literally 50 people there trimming weed. Like, there's a ton, a literal ton of ganja being harvested on this farm. So it's way too much stress for him. He can't handle it. But I'm supposed to be his right hand woman, so I am a woman with really strong integrity. If I say I'm gonna do something, I'm committed and I'm gonna follow through. So even though he's being a douchebag, I am committed to serving him. And I'm also a really good partner. So I see these really stressed out, he's not handling it well. I am gonna just, like, put all that aside. I'm gonna be super compassionate and be like, okay, homie, can't handle this dress. This is okay. I'm. It's not gonna be okay. Once all this shit is done, I'm gonna call him on his shit and make sure that he gets better. But for now, I'm just going to commit to helping him and supporting him. Well, Halloween 2013. He gets, like, shitty, fucked up. Like, falling down. Does all the drugs, drinks all the alcohol. I actually have to carry him to bed. And then he tries to sleep with me, and I'm like, not sexy. I'm not fucking you. And he gets all mad, so we fight. The next day, he wakes up and he's like, I gotta go to town. I'll be back. I'll be back tonight. And so he leaves, and I have a lovely day. Except for in the back of my head, I'm like, something's weird. And he doesn't come home that night. And I have in my head, like, I'm just really worried about him because he's super reckless. I'm like, he's drinking and driving, or he's, like, doing something stupid because he's an idiot. And I cry myself to sleep. And I wake up the next morning and it's go time. It's work. Everybody's got to go to work. He's got the key to my office. Just funny that I have an office at a ganja farm. I did, actually. So I couldn't go to work, and so I drove to the top of the hill, so I got good cell phone reception, and I drove to the top. Call him. And his phone rings in the back of my car, and I'm like, oh, that's weird. That must be why he's not answering any of my texts. So naturally, I pick up the phone and I flip it and I start going through it, and you guys can see where the story is going. I see the most recent text. There's, like, evidence that he's been planning on meeting this woman. And they were gonna go off on a sexy trip that night. I keep flipping, and there's like, she's super hot. She's really young. There's, like, pictures of her, like. Like, it was. I just go. I lose my shit. I drive down to.
- [09:16]
Dawsey Easton
Oh, fuck.
- [09:17]
Dixie de La Tour
Okay.
- [09:17]
Lacey Liu
I drive down to the bottom of the hill, and I flip the phone open and I go into the trim scene where there's 50 workers. And I'm like, I'm quitting. This is my last moment. This is your boss. He's fucking somebody else. This is why I'm quitting. I go to the boss, who's the owner of the Farm. And I'm like, you're gonna have to pay me or I'm gonna fuck you like, I love you. I'm so sorry, but I need to get paid $20,000, and I'm leaving right now. I'm not doing my job, and you're paying me or I'm fucking you. You understand? He's like, I understand. He's scared of me. They use a crowbar to open up my office so I can grab my things. I take that crowbar down to that cute little cabin, that cute little trailer that we had together, and I shatter everything breakable. I shatter the glasses. Thank you very much. I shatter the mirrors, the windows, all the glassware, all the cute little drinking glasses that I bought. And then also, he's got a little altar set up in the back of the trailer. And it's on the altar in the middle, there's this beautiful, ornate wooden box. And in the wooden box are 100 cut out cardboard or construction paper hearts, which I cut out myself. And I wrote on each of them a reason why I loved him. So 100 reasons why I loved him. I know. Fucking cute. And I stuck the box in the middle of the trailer, and I lit the bitch on fire. And then I walked out. I left the trailer and watched it burn. And I made I seem so sweet when I'm kind of crazy. So I made sure it wasn't like a total fire hazard. And I got in my car and I drove away. Don't fuck with the Scorpio. Get left on the couch.
- [11:27]
Dixie de La Tour
That's if I say y' all like that.
- [11:29]
Lacey Liu
Don't take him away.
- [11:30]
Dawsey Easton
Can't you see I'm the baddest?
- [11:31]
Aquafina
Shit, Even Superwoman couldn't put her hands on this.
- [11:43]
Dixie de La Tour
So we're going to do something a little bit different on this week's podcast, and it is do a live interview with somebody who lives here in the San Francisco Bay area. I did this because I went over to visit him to say goodbye. This episode is called Significant Others, and this is definitely a significant other in my life. Reid Michalko is a sex educator who has lived in New York lately. He has lived in Oakland, and he is about to move to Portland. In fact, he's probably in a moving truck on the way there as this episode airs. So I decided that we should sit down and do our favorite ritual, which is to drink Baileys and coffee, which is great because you get jacked up off the caffeine, and then at the same time, you get a little drunk from the Bailey's. So it makes you loose and it makes you relaxed. And we have some of our best brainstorming sessions this way. So this was our final Baileys and coffee. We sat down in his warehouse, which is called Fruitopia in Oakland, and we said goodbye. And I wanted to let you guys hear that goodbye and let you know that, Portland, you lucky motherfuckers, you're about to get one of my favorite, favorite people. This is an interview that I recorded a couple of days ago with sex educator Reid Michalko, and you can find out more about him at reidaboutsex, spelled R E I D readaboutsex.com Here you go. I am doing one of my favorite favorite traditions, which is coffee and Baileys, with one of my absolute favorite human beings. Is it okay if I say human being? Is that restrictive in any sort of way? Is it politically correct to say human being?
- [13:28]
Reid Michalko
I mean, it rules out gods and demigods. I mean, and aliens and, I mean, you know, interstellar life forms. So I don't know.
- [13:41]
Dixie de La Tour
Well, I don't want to restrict that.
- [13:42]
Reid Michalko
It's accurate.
- [13:43]
Dixie de La Tour
I go under all those things.
- [13:44]
Reid Michalko
I do identify as a demigod. No, as a human being talking to the microphone.
- [13:50]
Dixie de La Tour
I am doing. I am doing a ritual, and it is my very last one of these rituals. Reid Mahalko is leaving the notorious Fruitopia warehouse space where he has taught workshops and thrown orgies and hosted Iron Slut, which is. He can tell you about that. And we have this ritual that involves a bottle of Baileys. Somebody told me once upon a time that if I bought a bottle of Bailey's over to his house, he would mentor me. And it's. How did you fall for that, Reid? That was a sucker move.
- [14:26]
Reid Michalko
It was like the pilgrimage, like from a kung fu movie, right? If you bring a bag of rice to this doorstep and wait in the rain for several months. No, I don't know some. Who was it? Was it Melissa?
- [14:41]
Dixie de La Tour
It was Melissa.
- [14:41]
Reid Michalko
Melissa, everybody. I drink less Bailey's now, which the Bailey's company is not happy about. But back then, it was basically, you could. If you brought a bottle of Bailey's, because I consume so much Bailey's, I would hang out with you and have a cup of coffee and drink Bailey's with you. And then Melissa, a friend of ours, knew that about me. And then whatever your side of the story was, she said, just bring him a bottle of Bailey's and he'll talk to you. So that was basically it. And I was like, do not tell people that this is what will happen because I can't. One, I can't consume that much Bailey's. It's not healthy. But two, I only have so much.
- [15:21]
Dixie de La Tour
Time and your coaching experience is phenomenal, so they shouldn't be getting that for the price of a bottle of Bailey's.
- [15:29]
Reid Michalko
But it was also, for me, as a nerd around business y things and as somebody who. Who knows what it's like to not have money to afford, you know, to hire people, it was way, one, I got to know you much better. Like, that was kind of the beginning of our friendship in a certain way. Two, it's a funny story, as evidenced by that we're telling that story now. And three, it was an. It gave me an opportunity to hang out with my peers as I became more successful business wise. It was a way for me to hang out with people who couldn't afford to work with me to find out what their problems, what they were struggling with. Because there's this weird thing about success where you start hanging out with more successful people, but then you lose touch with what everybody's struggling with, who's, you know, two miles behind you down the road of success. And so. And I'm constantly worried if I've now, you know, if what I'm struggling with is how much sex can you have on a Thursday and still be a good lover to your friends. That was yesterday. There's this weird thing of, like, is my advice even relevant to anyone anymore? Or are these just like, you know, air quotes, rich people's problems?
- [16:50]
Dixie de La Tour
Well, it's relevant to me because I feel like I have grown and the show has grown so much since I've known you and you've told every pervert you know, which is all the perv.
- [16:59]
Reid Michalko
Yeah, I love Bodi. Yeah, Bodi is awesome. And thank you for giving me a stage and kicking me in the pants to just tell a story rather than have to always be teaching. I think who I am is so much of an educator that I can't not tell a story and be dropping in all the geeky teaching bits. But I credit Bodi with helping me get comfortable with just being me on stage, which also helped me be me in front of my workshop audiences. So rather than just teaching in a very dry way now, I. Bodi gave me permission to be goofy in a way that I think really has helped me as a teacher, but has helped me reach more people. People who found my work because of a Bodi video, where all of a sudden this guy who's talking about having a threesome with lesbians at Burning Man. Wow. He's weird, but he's really funny. And that thing that he said was actually really smart. So, hey, honey, let's check out the rest of his stuff. And I never would have had that if it wasn't for you. Like, really?
- [18:09]
Dixie de La Tour
One of the things that I have to do that is hard because I work with a lot of sex educators is teach them that they've got to turn off workshop mode and they've got to turn on storytelling mode. And storytelling mode is so different because it's like, okay, here's one where I fucked up. It's not where, here's what to do, here's what not to do. Did I say that right? What to do, what not to do. Yeah, but it's just kind of like, the best lessons are the ones we learn through stories, and the best lessons we learn personally are the ones we learn through fucking up. And you embrace that. You've told stories in almost every city I've ever taken the show to. And you were one of the first educators who was just like, oh, yeah, I have a story about that. Learned my lesson. And you don't try and be perfect, which was a new thing for an educator.
- [19:01]
Reid Michalko
Well, and I think also, like, for me and for people who are just meeting me through this interview, I'm very slutty. I'm a very privileged, cisgendered white guy.
- [19:14]
Dixie de La Tour
Oh, thank God we got that out of the way.
- [19:16]
Reid Michalko
Well, this is important to me, though. Right. And so it would be so easy to take this air quotes again. I'm making air quotes. This expert role where everything that Reid does is perfect, which is very, like, 1980s version of expert. Right? Like. Like, our, you know, our heroes never fuck up. But this is, you know, this is, you know, we're way past the aughts now. Like, we're almost, you know, into 2020. And if you really want to be an expert, part of what that requires is being vulnerable and showing your flaws, because that's the only way people these days, I think, will believe you, is to know that you're not perfect. So anyone who's that perfection model, or me talking about how successful all my threesomes are or all my orgies are, while that's alluring for a charismatic white guy to be up on stage doing that, it starts to become bragging in a way that I don't think is healthy, because as a sex educator, I'm role modeling. Like, you can celebrate your wins and your achievements sexually but at the same time, you need to be humble. And for a slutty white guy, me, bragging is not how you create safe space, and it's not how you get laid. Like, if you want to bang feminists, you need to not brag, right? And I'm using that word because I think it's a funny word.
- [20:53]
Dixie de La Tour
There were air quotes.
- [20:54]
Reid Michalko
Air quotes. But the idea of, like, I'm already insecure about things just because I'm insecure about things, because I grew up in family, that allowed me to really hone that skill. And I have a deep need to leave the campsite better than I found it. So, like, I want to be humble. I want to, you know, like Marvel comics, great. With great power comes great responsibility. I want to be. I want to do a good job. Like, those are all the things that psychologically are running for me in the background all the time. But as an educator, if you don't share with people how you fucked up and how you overcame those fuck ups or how you upgraded, what you're doing is you're basically modeling that they can never attain what you attained because you are perfect and they're broken and. And we don't need more of that bullshit around our sexuality, in our intimacy, in. In this day and age. So, you know, I love sharing my flaws. One, because I think it's better comedy. But two, like, it's real for me. And I know as a teacher how important it is for people to watch me up on stage or hear me talk about not being able to get it up, you know, or passing out in the middle of a queer porn orgy, which was my dream. I can't believe it. I'm like, I'm in bed naked with all of my porn star heroes and I pass out and then passed out for the entire orgy. And then they all drew dicks on me. Like, that's hilarious. But, like, as far as regrets go, that is one of my biggest. Like, I was about to have sex with all of my porn star heroes, and I don't remember any of it. And there's a lot of pictures of them all fucking on top of me and drawing dicks on all over me, which I think it's a great story. But, like, I'm so upset still. And this is like, years later that I missed out on this one thing because I didn't know we were gonna have a queer porn star star orgy. And so I was doing tequila shots with them because I was so nervous and I just wanted to be part of the group. And then it turned into an orgy, and I was too drunk, and I passed out.
- [23:02]
Dixie de La Tour
One of the things I get to see on stage is watching people's reactions to stories. Because while y' all are standing next to me telling the stories, I'm sitting there watching the reaction of the crowd. And it's so interesting to me to watch. I'm, like, hyper conscious through a whole show. I'm watching not just the front row. I could feel the energy in the back row, too. And I can feel the people who are sitting back and crossing their arms because somebody is wanting to get into braggy territory. Luckily, the storyteller feels it, too, because I've gone, you better be super careful with that. I don't have to do that with you. You're always. You're always incredibly humble while you're telling a story that is, like, superhuman at the same time. But I thought I'd tell him the story of not the first time we met each other, because the first time we met each other at Mission Control, when you prance through naked, I think in the middle of. I was sitting with Polly Superstar at the computer, working on something. You came through, had a cotillion of people following you around, because you were living at Mission Control at the time, I think. So I didn't really take any notice of you. But you and I met on Twitter. I think we were following each other on Twitter. And I announced that I was throwing a storytelling soiree, and you asked if you could crash it and if you could bring your partner, Alison Moon. Do you remember that?
- [24:25]
Reid Michalko
Yeah. That was the night with the frozen. With the dry ice. And that was the night I met Maggie Mahan.
- [24:30]
Dixie de La Tour
Yes, exactly. And I think that party went off the skids. It was supposed to be to acquire new storytellers. And Reid and Allison came in, and all of a sudden, the party shift gears the minute they walked through the door instead of. I'd hired a bartender to make fancy drinks. He was also going to make liquid nitrogen ice cream for everybody. It was like fancy hors d' oeuvres and everything like that. And when Reid walked through the door, all of a sudden all the perverts were on the back porch of the ecstatic attic on the third floor pouring liquid nitrogen on their nipples.
- [25:06]
Reid Michalko
Okay, so let the record show, that was not my idea. That was Maggie Mayhem's idea, because she knew enough about liquid nitrogen to be like, to the ice cream guy, hey, I know enough about science to know that you can just pour this on my Tits and it'll be awesome. And he was like, that is correct. I can. And so then Maggie was like, hey, who wants to pour liquid nitrogen on our naked asses and our nipples? And I was like, I'll do that. That sounds great. And that's how we got out onto the porch. That was not my idea. That was Maggie Mayhem's idea. And I just want to, you know, proper attribution. And that was. That was a great way to meet. That's a great way to meet people.
- [25:54]
Dixie de La Tour
That's all I'm gonna say it is. And I believe that one of the attendees of that party sent me a message to tell me that he burnt his nipple off with liquid nitrogen, but it grew back.
- [26:06]
Reid Michalko
Yeah, I remember that. I remembered that, and I'm trying to remember how that. So, basically. Okay, first off, safety third. Ladies and gentlemen, don't. If you're gonna try this at home, do it with people who know chemistry. Because if I tell you not to try this at home, a lot of you will go try it at home. But if. Basically, what you don't want is liquid nitrogen sitting anywhere on your body. So that's why you have to be naked, so that it just rolls off your body, and you don't want it to be, like, cupped in your navel or anything like that. So I think the nipple situation was. Something splashed, and it splashed onto his T shirt and on the area of where his nipple was. And because it was on the shirt and the shirt wasn't moving, it burned his skin. I think that's what happened to the nipple. And so, again, like, adult supervision by chemists, people who use these chemicals. And as long as you're naked and it allows for it just to roll off you, it's just fun and cool and refreshing. But, like, don't pour it in your eye socket or up your nose or anything like that. That would be bad. That would be bad.
- [27:09]
Dixie de La Tour
So the thing you should know is that Reid Michalko and Alison Moon are moving to Portland tomorrow night. We're going to have an epic orgy. It won't be tomorrow night by the time this episode goes up, but we're going to have a goodbye orgy, and we're going to say goodbye to Fruitopia as we know it. And then Portland gets them, the lucky motherfuckers.
- [27:29]
Reid Michalko
Would that be a bang voyage?
- [27:30]
Dixie de La Tour
Ooh. So we're all going to celebrate our favorite couple in San Francisco, Oakland, and say goodbye. And Reid and I are sitting here drinking our last enormous bottle of Bailey's Together. And the sound of clink.
- [27:49]
Reid Michalko
My tin cup and your porcelain.
- [27:51]
Dixie de La Tour
And this little. Be our last time doing this. I hope to still see him when he comes back to the bay, but his website is read about sex. R E I D about sex. You can see all his body videos and Alison Moon's body videos right there on his website. Tons and tons. Because he's been telling for me for how many years?
- [28:11]
Reid Michalko
I don't even remember now. It's.
- [28:13]
Dixie de La Tour
It's.
- [28:14]
Reid Michalko
It's more than five. So.
- [28:16]
Dixie de La Tour
Yeah.
- [28:17]
Reid Michalko
Yeah, it's a lot.
- [28:18]
Dixie de La Tour
How many. How many body videos do you have?
- [28:20]
Reid Michalko
I don't know. I keep. I mean, if people go to my YouTube channel. So it's read about sex on YouTube, there's a whole body storytelling playlist. But it feels like. Because every once in a while, I'm digging around in a hard drive for something I'm trying to find, and I'll find a forgotten body video. Like, done off of, like, a flip phone. Yeah, the flip camera or whatever. Right. I don't know. Like. Because we've done them at conferences. Like, you've had me tell@catalystcon. And, like, so it's a lot. I mean, it's. I don't know. Like, it's got to be at least 15, if not more.
- [28:58]
Dixie de La Tour
No, there's way more.
- [28:59]
Reid Michalko
Really?
- [28:59]
Dixie de La Tour
Yeah.
- [29:00]
Reid Michalko
Okay, so there's a lot. There's a lot.
- [29:01]
Dixie de La Tour
And I was gonna guess over 50.
- [29:04]
Reid Michalko
Oh, no.
- [29:05]
Dixie de La Tour
Between you and Allison.
- [29:06]
Reid Michalko
Well, between me and Allison, but I haven't been on your stage. 50. I don't know. Somebody count them. Somebody else. Here's some emotional labor. Go count. Go count the videos. Because I know one of you nerds is like, I'm gonna count them. But, yeah, I mean, it's at least. Maybe it's 20 or something like that, but it's a lot and it's been really fun. And, you know, for me, part of the joy is because there's always. You have so many different themes. I think I've only told two stories twice. Yeah, yeah. Because there's just so many fun stories to tell.
- [29:39]
Dixie de La Tour
You usually go out and create an adventure if you have time. You're like, well, we're at a conference and I've got three dates this afternoon and I'm teaching four classes. But I think by the time you go on at 8 o', clock, I can have at least one new adventure for the stage.
- [29:52]
Reid Michalko
Well, yeah, like, that sounds like fun. You know, if you have the right kind of friends.
- [29:57]
Dixie de La Tour
It's all set at A six Positive conference. That's totally doable. So I love Reid Michalko. I really want you to go check him out. He is a great educator. He teaches workshops, he hosts parties. He travels all over the country, so you can see him wherever you are and support this man. He has changed my life. You've changed my life, Reid.
- [30:21]
Reid Michalko
Thank you, Dixie. Thank you so much. And if you want to find out more about me, you can go to my site. But if you want to get emails and free videos and trainings and things like that, Then go to readaboutsex.com Vulcan v U, L, C A N. Like Star Trek Vulcan. And you'll get a free video on the inverted vulcan, which is Mr. Spock's favorite sex technique.
- [30:44]
Dixie de La Tour
Was that the one that you taught at Yale Sex Week? When we took Body to Yale?
- [30:48]
Reid Michalko
Yes. Yes, that was the one. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my God. We did Yale Sex Week. How many years ago was that? That was when you introduced me to Milena.
- [30:58]
Dawsey Easton
Oh.
- [30:58]
Reid Michalko
Oh, yes. Yes. Melena, if you're listening, I still remember.
- [31:07]
Dixie de La Tour
So we're gonna have our very last cup of Baileys and spend the rest of the time talking, but support Reid Portland. You're incredibly lucky. I'm so jealous that you get Reed analysis.
- [31:18]
Reid Michalko
I'm still coming back East Bay. I'm not going to forget. I'm a traveling man.
- [31:23]
Dixie de La Tour
But you changed my life, and I don't have access to you the way I used to. So I'm just gonna have to come to Portland to see you and let.
- [31:29]
Reid Michalko
The record show everyone that Dixie is one of my closest friends who's never had sex with me.
- [31:37]
Dixie de La Tour
There are two of us in the world.
- [31:39]
Reid Michalko
No, there's more, but it is. You get this twinkle in your eye whenever I see you telling somebody that, no, I haven't had sex with him.
- [31:48]
Dixie de La Tour
The last thing I'm going to say is Reid told a story on stage at Bodi one time which involved he was wearing, I think, a pair of jeans, and he was telling a story about a lover casting his cock. And he was talking about the goo running the.
- [32:03]
Reid Michalko
Clone a willy. Clone a willy. Company shout out to you. Thank you for making kits for people that clone the willies.
- [32:09]
Dixie de La Tour
Yes, you can cast your own member. And Reid was telling a story about having a lover cast his member. And he was talking about the goo running over his balls.
- [32:19]
Reid Michalko
It was actually a lover's lover, so it was somebody I'd never had sex with, but they were the only one in the house when I was doing this toy to review it. And so I was like, will you help me? So it wasn't a lover of mine. It was a lover's lover of mine. Okay, sorry.
- [32:37]
Dixie de La Tour
This is why one person gets the microphone on stage. He's telling the story of the goo running over his member. And at a certain point in the story, he reaches into his pants and he pulls the member out of the front of his pants and holds it aloft while people cheer because his penis is now in his hand and on stage and not in the way that you would expect. Wait, wait, hang on. And at the end of the show, about six or seven of your lovers came up onto the stage after the show was over, and people were saying thank you. And I was. They were all hugging on Reed. And I'm standing there talking, and I'm like, reid, I think that's the first time I've ever seen your dick in all the years I've known you. And that crowd of lovers turned on me and went, you've never fucked Reid. Why haven't you fucked Reed? What's wrong with Reed? You don't like Reed? Reed seems great to us. I'm like, more for you. Calm down.
- [33:32]
Reid Michalko
And I think. Honestly, I think that's one of the videos that's not on YouTube. I think I've. I think. I don't know that that one ever got uploaded, so I don't know. So it's in the lost. It's like the vault where they find, like, you know, recordings from some rock and roll person that they thought got lost or something. So I don't know. It might be on YouTube. I can't remember.
- [33:53]
Dixie de La Tour
Well, after he's done hanging out with me, he's gonna be packing because he leaves to move out of Oakland this weekend. So maybe he'll find the missing flip video camera, and maybe he'll find the video of the clone, A Willie story, and he'll post it online. So go to his website and watch for that. I'm gonna go back to drinking with my favorite person. Thank you for being on my podcast today, Reid.
- [34:18]
Reid Michalko
Now I'm crying. Thanks, Dixie. I love you. I love you, too.
- [34:24]
Dixie de La Tour
Follow Reed. He's important. He's gonna change the world. And we're gonna get back to coffee.
- [34:30]
Reid Michalko
Bailey's. Woohoo.
- [34:37]
Dixie de La Tour
It is my complete and utter pleasure to share a story with you from someone who has been a role model and icon for me for so many years. And it was such a thrill to have her on my stage a couple of years ago. She is a longtime player in the San Francisco S&M scene. She is the co author of the with Janet Hardy of the Ethical Slut, which is right about now having a third edition released. She's also the author of the bottoming book, the topping Book, Radical Ecstasy, S and M Journeys Into Transcendence and so much more. And she's been a sex radical since 1961. Every board of directors, everything that came out of San Francisco, the Society of Janice, San Francisco sex information. She's been a part of breaking ground for kink and sex positivity for many, many decades. And this was her very first story on the body storytelling stage. Our final story for this episode is from Dawsey Easton.
- [36:02]
Dawsey Easton
All right. Oh, it's good to be here. I came here tonight, I guess, to tell you a little bit about my proudest possession. It's here on my vest. It is my catacombs patch. Almost no one in this room will know what this means, but I'm going to tell you all about it. I came out here in the Great Migration of 1967 looking for spiritual and sexual freedom. And it was really kind of thrashing around then. It was sort of before feminism really, and before gay liberation. And it was kind of hard to find your way around. It was like we didn't know what freedom was going to look like. And then I discovered that there was these communities of gay men who were doing, creating sexual environments that were unbelievable where you could explore anything safely with tremendous enthusiasm. I wound up living with gay men for 15 years collectively, and it was the education of my life. Because, you see, in the world I was living in back then, straight people knew who they thought I should be as a woman, and I wasn't that. Dykes thought they knew who I should be a woman. And I wasn't that either. I was way too sexy for that. Well, there are sexy dykes now. There are sexy dykes now. Back then it was considered kind of weird to be sexy, but the gay men, they didn't care. You were just there. There was this club in San Francisco called the Catacombs. It was on a nice quiet little street, 20th street, I think it was, between Valencia and Guerrero, in a nice little stick Victorian, a little broad iron fence outside and stairs led down to the basement door that had a sign on it that said, if you didn't call, don't ring the bell. I felt like saying, you know, Joe sent me or something went down. There was my girlfriend, Cynthia Slater, who was the founder of the Society of Janus, which some of you may be familiar with. It was the oldest One of the oldest and certainly surviving support organizations that give support to people into SM and Kinkin like that. You can find them online if you're curious about it. So we went into this place and I had never been in a club like this before. And we were possibly the first women who had ever come into these parties. We came in the door and the front room had cubbies to put your clothes in. And there were all these beautiful men flirting and talking and chatting. It was kind of the social room, the front room. And they kept the heat real high. I found out later they did that on purpose so you'd take your clothes off right away. And we got a little tour. There was a middle room that had a huge waterbed on it. Why anybody would want to fuck on a waterbed, I don't understand. It just doesn't push back, you know, you push and you just keep going. And that room was kind of interesting to me. There were all these chains in the ceiling and overhead stuff which came in really handy because the rug was absolutely, absolutely soaked in Crisco. Now you have to understand this was the fisting era and Crisco was the lube of choice. We didn't even have water based lube back then. And everything was covered with Crisco. I have a towel, a trick towel. A trick towel is a little towel you keep around in case you need to clean up any spooge, right? It's always, you know, civilized people keep them in their night tables and. And I had. I have a trick towel from back in that era, in the 70s, mind you. Right back in that era. And I have washed it a thousand times and it still smells like Crisco. So then we went into the back room. The back room had a beautiful hardwood floor and two walls covered in slings where people could get into a sling. It's sort of like a hammock for sex. It just covers you down to here. And then the rest of your works hang out where people can get at them. And they were a bathroom. It was very nice. Everything was very clean there. And there was the bathroom had a shower and a tub that you could piss in, which was nice. And a wall cover with trick towels and a place to put your douche hoses. Everybody see if you're going to do anal sex in public, then you want to be really clean. So the whole place was really clean. And everybody's asshole was really clean too. We were big into clean and lots of Crisco because Crisco is what you need for Olympic Penetration, which is what the fisting era was like. So we got into this place, and Cynthia and I first got down. Oh, they had something else. If you ever are going to open a sex club, and I hope you all are, here is a helpful hint for you. They had a stack of crib mattresses. A crib mattress about yay long, right about yay wide. It's perfect to fuck on, and you can get sheets for it. You don't even have to have teddy bears on the sheets if you don't think it's funny. But they're really handy because you just pick one up. They're very light. They're very easy to move. You throw it down the floor somewhere where you think you won't get stepped on, and then you can play, right? You've got a place to do it. And Cynthia and I had already planned that we were going to do some fairly showy stuff because we figured that they weren't used to having girls there. And so she needed to prove to them that girls could do it. So we're playing away and become aware of this kind of attention of people. Like, those two are kind of hot, but they're short. Are they? Oh, my God, is that a tit? What do they have voice? The works. Gay men have an amazing sexual curiosity. I find it totally endearing. And so we did our thing and we showed them. We earned our place there. I was very proud. We came back into the social room and somebody. He said, gee, I never thought I would meet women who like to play the way we do. And I took that as a great honor, really. I mean, I felt so good about that. And then this lovely, tall, thin gay man with a crew cut named Pete. He was, like, so talent and looked kind of like maybe Dan Savage, if you kind of stretched him. And he came up and he said he'd never played with a woman before and he'd liked watching us play and perhaps, you know, maybe I might be interested in playing with him. And we talked a little bit, and then I said, sure, I would like to do that. And then he said, well, I've never played with a woman anymore before, and I don't really know what the anatomy is like. Could you please show me this famous clit? So I perched on the bar stool and spread my legs and did a little anatomy lesson. The next thing I knew is a half circle of gay men peering. What's that? Is that the cunt? Oh, is that. Is that the clit? Oh, look, it's got a tiny foreskin. You Know, maybe you had to be there. It was wonderful. It was just wonderful. So then Pete and I went in the back room and we played. Oh, yeah. And I gave them really good instructions on what you did to a clit, especially if it happened to be my clit, because. Because I figured they might want that information in the future, I hoped. And we went back and we played. And indeed, Pete had been attentive, and he'd learned his lessons. He knew what to do with my clit, which was just great. And we got very, very turned on. And I was sucking on his dick, and he had nice. His dick was kind of like him. It was nice. It was long and lean, you know, And I thought, well, this is where. This is the curious thing, because, you see, the first time I ever fisted a man, it was by accident. I was sucking on his dick and I thought, well, he's a gay man. I should do something with this asshole, right? So the one finger, two fingers, no resistance. Three fingers, four fingers, thumb. My God, this is easy. I was sucking away. I didn't actually say anything. The fist just slides right in, you know. And I knew you're supposed to curl your finger, so I did that. I'd been told about that one. And I said, pete, I never did this before. What do I do now? And he said, oh, well, up a little bit. Up a little bit like that. Okay, Bend your wrist. That's right. That's good, that's good. Can you get in a little further? A little further. A little further. Yeah, right. Oh, yeah, there, there, there. Yeah, that's right. Fuck it. Fuck it, fuck it. Yes. Oh, yes. Fuck it harder.
- [45:03]
Dixie de La Tour
Yes.
- [45:03]
Lacey Liu
Mmm.
- [45:03]
Dawsey Easton
Ah. And that was really nice. And then he said he had no reflective vagina, so we did that too. And it was a lovely evening. Just lovely. Everybody. A good time was had my all. On another occasion, I was there in the space with four gay men and one of whom was my roommate. And they were shocked to hear that I myself had never been fisted. And they decided they should rectify this situation immediately. So we got the Crisco, the almighty Crisco, and a bunch of trick towels and we went to it. And my roommate Jim was holding down central and he had pretty large hands, and it was harder than I thought it was going to be. And everybody was. There was Jim and Joe and Jerry. I don't know what's with these J names. And Steven. And everybody was doing things to me, so there were a lot of hands. And Joe was doing nice things to my clit, and Jim was trying to get the fist in. And we tried and tried, and we got very turned on. We all got very turned on by that time. And everybody's groaning and moaning and yelling and shrieking, but I still can't get it in. It's, like, tight. It's tight. It hurts. It's being very difficult now. It has been a principle of my life ever since that afternoon, that if you spend an hour trying to get a fist into somebody's orifice and you don't actually get the whole fist in, have you wasted an hour. Words to live by. So finally, I just said, okay, okay, I need something to pound on me. Pound on me, right, Stephen, Get a belt. Get a belt. Somebody hit me with something. But we were all naked and nobody 4 gay leatherman. No belt. Go figure. Suddenly there was this hugely painful sensation on my ass, and my cunt just opened up and the hand slid right in. Only it wasn't quiet, like I'm speaking now. It was yelling and screaming, and we all started fucking. And it was like orgasm noises. It was like, join me. Help me now. We lost the Catacombs in 1982. The owner died and didn't leave a will. The straight people got the house, and people got the furniture out. And some of that furniture is still at the Citadel. I recognize it from the 70s. You know, it's amazing. The men in this story are also all not alive anymore. Because the next thing that happened was the epidemic of aids. And we lost a lot of good people. And we were terribly afraid we would lose the community. But some very wise people started making institutions. The AIDS Foundation, Shanti Maitre Hospice, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Because, you see, this was a community that took care of its own. And stepping up to deal with the AIDS crisis was one of the most important things I think we ever pulled it together to do. But these are the people who we owe a great deal to. This is the legacy of the sexual freedom that we enjoy today. These are the people who are the brave explorers who simply wouldn't take no for an answer. I honor them. I thank them. I'm profoundly grateful for them. They showed me what an open and free sexuality could really look like. And you are the people who are carrying this on into the future and making the torch burn brighter and brighter. I never thought we'd have as huge a community as we have now. And you are the new generations who are keeping this beautiful magic going. So I thank you all.
- [49:40]
Dixie de La Tour
When we're out there dancing on the floor, darling and I feel like I Need some more and I feel your body close to mine make me feel my real make me feel my.
- [50:03]
Reid Michalko
Feel.
- [50:09]
Dixie de La Tour
You make the feel when we get home going and it's nice and dark and all right, let's talk about upcoming shows for body storytelling, because this podcast thing is great, but it is less than half of what a live body storytelling is like. I do live shows to bring people together, to let them make new friends, to let them have a place to tell their crazy stories about sex, kink and gender. You'll go home with a new friend or two and you'll probably get laid. That happens a lot. So on Thursday, September 7th, we're gonna be back in Seattle. We'll be at the Rebar Seattle. And the theme for the evening is Joyride. Pitch me your story. And the Seattle deadline is coming up next week. Dixieodistorytelling.com Send me your joyride story and you can be on the stage on September 7th for Joyride at the ReBar Seattle. On Wednesday, September 13th, we're going to be back on stage at the Verity Club in San Francisco. The theme of that show is also Joyride. I'm pitting Seattle and San Francisco against each other. So the deadline's coming up soon for San Francisco, too. Send me your story pitch. A voice memo is ideal. I want to hear you tell the story and send it to dixieaudistorytelling.com be sure and put the city that you're pitching in for, because I have several themes in several cities this month and I want to know whether you live in Seattle or San Francisco. All right, you ready to know about east coast tour dates? Am I coming to your city? If I'm not coming to your city, be sure to tag friends on Facebook and tell them about these shows because I don't know that many people in these cities, but you do. I need your help to get the word out about the Bodi podcast and about live shows. So here we go. On Tuesday, September 26th, we're going to be in Brooklyn. We are doing a collaboration with the Risk Podcast. Risk and Kevin Allison have been friends of mine for years. We've done collaboration shows in San Francisco several times, but we've never done it in his city. So if you would like to be part of that show, Body Storytelling and Risk together. The theme of the evening is Scandalous. So the night of the show is Tuesday, September 26th at the Bell House in Brooklyn. Send your story pitch as soon as possible to pitchesrisk-show.com go to the risk Podcast you can find out where to pitch your story, but I'll also put it on my website. And then a few days after that, on Thursday, September 28th, I'm going to be in Boston. And Boston has been sending me a lot of fan mail. I haven't even confirmed that I'm coming to Boston. And so many people have been sending me messages going, boston has an incredible kink, sex positive community. You really want to bring your show here. And so Boston, you win. I can't wait to hear your stories. I want you to pitch me your best story of sex, kink or gender and send it a voicemail's ideal to dixieaudistorytelling.com that show will be at the Oberon, which my friends at Mortified tell me is an awesome location to do a show. And Thursday, September 28, at the Oberon in Boston. I can't wait. I've never been to Boston. Somebody's already promised to bring me the best sandwich in Boston and that's pretty interesting. I can't wait to try that. And then shortly after that, the very next night, Friday, Saturday, September 29th, we are going to be doing a show in Baltimore. Oh my God. I grew up in the Blue Ridge Mountains, several hours away from Baltimore, and Baltimore has always been this iconic city to me where all the freaks lived. And I know it's got a huge pervy community. So if you're in Baltimore or you're going to be near Baltimore on September 29th, pitch me your story right away. Dixieaudistorytelling.com we will be at Ideal Art Space in Baltimore. And again, that's September 29th. Tickets are on sale for the Baltimore show right now. It will be on sale for the Oberon show in Boston and the Risk show in Brooklyn very, very, very soon. And don't worry, I can do shows in cities that don't start with B. I'm not that alliterative that I have to only do bawdy. Brooklyn, Boston, Baltimore. But if you'd like to have us come to your city, you can make that happen. Send me an email. Tell me where you are. I just got an email this morning from another city on the east coast that wants to figure out how to bring us in. And like I said, I love meeting new people. I'd love to meet you, tell your friends about these cities, post everywhere on social media. I need your help to get the word out. I need story pitches and I work with you, so don't stress out. Just send me this story. I will help you I'll coach you, I'll curate the evening, and it will be just like what you listen to on the podcast, except this time it'll be you spread the word and I'll see you soon. East Coast. So I need to say thank you to the people who helped me make this podcast possible. To podcast producer Matthew Marder, who is about to move to another city. And he got me started on podcasting by sitting in my office with me and giving me a face to talk to as I found my way. Matt, thank you so much for helping me get this podcast started and I hope everything goes great in Tucson. We're gonna miss you in San Francisco, but we're gonna make this work and we're gonna do it long distances podcast. It's meant for that, right? So also I'd like to say thank you to Joe Moore, who does our videos. Joe helps me as our archivist. He is such a dream to work with. Joe, thank you for all you do. To David Grossoff, who is our sound engineer. He doesn't like that term. I'm not sure what he wants me to call him, but he helps record Bodi live at the shows in San Francisco. So, David, thank you for your help. And thank you to Ruben Tan, who does our Live On Demand Live and On Demand of Bodi show. You can watch the entire show, start to finish@bodistreaming.com we have so many team members and volunteers who help out at our home show in San Francisco. Thank you to everybody. It's been really strange. I'm on hiatus in August and I haven't seen any of your faces in a while. And I miss building something. I miss my community. And I'll see you soon. I'll see you in September. Thank you to all the people who helped make this possible. Thank you to you for listening to this podcast. If you could go to itunes or wherever you review things and write us a review, it's so important. It helps us rise in the ranks and helps us do the things that help us grow. And that's why you do podcasting, so that people can know that there is a world out there where people talk openly about sex and kink. So tell a friend, review us on itunes, post on social media, and tell people about the Body storytelling podcast. That means it gets bigger and better. You get more stories and you get to listen to me and your ear holes even more often. Thanks for listening. I hope to see you in person at a show really soon. Thanks.
- [58:27]
Aquafina
Gun, your veg is like pineapple cottage cheese. My veg got 12 inch gold wheels? And yo veg got bird poop on a windshield? My vag beats your vag by a million? Your vag is frightening like Serena Williams? It's time that we let the world know? Bitch, your vag look like Janet Reno? Aquafina's a genius? And a vagina is 50 times better than a penis? It's time that we let the world know, Bitch, your vags look like Generino? Aquafina's a genius? And a vagina is 50 times better than a penis? Better than a penis? That's what I say, though? Better than a penis? Better than a penis? Better than a peanut? Better than a peanut. Okay, I'm done.
- [59:15]
Lacey Liu
I seem so sweet when I'm kind of crazy?