Podcast Summary: Bawdy Storytelling
Episode 31 – Significant Other
Date: August 23, 2017
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Episode Overview
This episode of Bawdy Storytelling dives into the theme of "Significant Others," presenting true and unfiltered tales of sexual adventure, heartbreak, and transformation. With stories from festival wanderer Lacey Liu, legendary sex educator Reid Mihalko, and 'The Ethical Slut' co-author Dossie Easton, the episode explores the messy, hilarious, and ultimately human dynamics of intimate relationships—from fraught farm romances to trailblazing queer sexuality.
Key Segments & Insights
1. Opening and Introduction to "Significant Others"
- [01:10] Dixie welcomes listeners, “I am sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour, here again to bring you true stories of sex, kink and gender... our theme for this episode is Significant Others.”
- Brief promotion of Bawdy's Patreon and history of live shows.
- Dixie introduces the story lineup: festival storyteller Lacey Liu, a live Baileys-and-coffee interview with sex educator Reid Mihalko, and a rare on-stage tale from author/activist Dossie Easton.
2. Story 1: Lacey Liu – A Ganja Farm Romance Gone Wrong
[03:52]–[11:28]
Key Discussion Points
- Lacey shares her journey from a successful, free-spirited ganja farmer to heartbreak.
- After a breakup, she seeks closure by hooking up with a fellow "trimmigrant.” Unexpectedly, this becomes an ongoing, turbulent relationship.
- Lacey moves in with him after he lands a big management job, but his transformation (alcohol, cocaine, stress) is for the worse.
- Tension and infidelity reach a breaking point. Lacey discovers her partner's betrayal via texts on his forgotten phone.
Memorable Moments & Quotes
-
Lacey, on why she started sleeping with him:
“There's this guy with green eyes, and he grabs my ass. And so I fuck him. So you're right. That's how that goes.” [04:23] -
Lacey, on her investigative moment:
“I drive to the top. Call him. And his phone rings in the back of my car, and I'm like, oh, that's weird... flip it and start going through it, and you guys can see where the story is going.” [08:44] -
Lacey's nuclear breakup response:
“I shatter everything breakable. I shatter the glasses... all the cute little drinking glasses... and then... there's this beautiful, ornate wooden box... 100 reasons why I loved him. So 100 reasons why I loved him. I know. Fucking cute. And I stuck the box in the middle of the trailer, and I lit the bitch on fire. And then I walked out. I left the trailer and watched it burn... Don't fuck with the Scorpio. Get left on the couch.” [10:20–11:28]
3. Interview Segment: Dixie & Reid Mihalko – Reflections on Sex, Storytelling & Community
[13:28]–[34:18]
Segment Structure
- Dixie sits down for a Baileys-and-coffee farewell chat with influential sex educator and Bawdy staple, Reid Mihalko, who is moving from Oakland to Portland.
Key Insights
- Reid reflects on mentoring, teaching, and the intimacy of sharing both wisdom and vulnerability.
- They discuss the shift from ‘expert lecturer’ to ‘vulnerable storyteller’ in the world of sex education.
- The importance of authenticity and sharing ‘failures’ as well as successes.
- Anecdotes about Bawdy’s influence, including wild party moments (liquid nitrogen on nipples) and the culture around pervy networking.
Memorable Quotes & Moments
-
Reid, on accessibility in mentorship:
“It was a way for me to hang out with people who couldn't afford to work with me... I'm constantly worried... if my advice is even relevant to anyone anymore? Or are these just, like... air quotes, ‘rich people's problems’?” [15:05] -
Dixie, on learning through storytelling:
“The best lessons are the ones we learn through stories, and the best lessons we learn personally are the ones we learn through fucking up.” [18:08] -
Reid, on the performance of expertise in sex ed:
“If you really want to be an expert, part of what that requires is being vulnerable and showing your flaws, because that's the only way people these days, I think, will believe you, is to know that you're not perfect.” [19:15] -
Wild Bawdy Party Memory:
“All the perverts were on the back porch... pouring liquid nitrogen on their nipples... that was Maggie Mayhem’s idea... don't pour it in your eye socket or up your nose or anything like that. That would be bad. That would be bad.” [25:06–26:06] -
On community & goodbye:
“You’ve changed my life, Reid.” – Dixie [29:57]
“Thank you, Dixie. Thank you so much... Now I’m crying. Thanks, Dixie. I love you.” – Reid [34:18]
4. Story 2: Dossie Easton – The Legacy of the Catacombs & Queer Sexual Freedom
[36:01]–[49:39]
Key Discussion Points
- Dossie recounts her introduction to San Francisco’s legendary gay men’s sex club, the Catacombs, in the 1970s.
- The space is described: rooms lined with slings, waterbeds, and floors slicked with Crisco during the “fisting era.”
- Dossie and fellow pioneer Cynthia Slater break barriers as the first women to play at the all-male club; they earn respect via bold, “showy” play.
- She recalls teaching gay men about female anatomy (“Could you please show me this famous clit?”) and a curious crowd’s wholesome, science-y fascination.
- Vivid, detailed stories of sex positivity, first-time fisting, and mutual sexual education between communities.
- Reflection on loss as AIDS took many club regulars, but also on the resilience and institution-building that followed.
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
Dossie, capturing San Francisco's sexual revolution:
“In the world I was living in back then, straight people knew who they thought I should be as a woman, and I wasn’t that. Dykes thought they knew... wasn’t that either. I was way too sexy for that. Well, there are sexy dykes now. Back then it was considered kind of weird to be sexy, but the gay men... didn’t care. You were just there.” [36:33] -
On her first time at the Catacombs:
“There was a middle room that had a huge waterbed... all these chains in the ceiling... the rug... absolutely soaked in Crisco. Now, you have to understand, this was the fisting era and Crisco was the lube of choice.” [37:55] -
The “famous clit” lesson:
“Could you please show me this famous clit? So I perched on the bar stool and spread my legs and did a little anatomy lesson. Next thing I knew is a half circle of gay men peering, ‘What's that? Is that the cunt? Oh, is that the clit? Oh, look, it's got a tiny foreskin.’” [40:48] -
On the AIDS epidemic and legacy:
“We lost a lot of good people... We were terribly afraid we would lose the community. But some very wise people started making institutions... stepping up to deal with the AIDS crisis was one of the most important things I think we ever pulled it together to do... This is the legacy of the sexual freedom that we enjoy today. These are the people who are the brave explorers who simply wouldn't take no for an answer.” [47:25–49:28]
Notable Quotes Recap & Speaker Attribution
-
“Don't fuck with the Scorpio. Get left on the couch.”
— Lacey Liu, on her epic breakup [11:28] -
“If you really want to be an expert, part of what that requires is being vulnerable and showing your flaws...”
— Reid Mihalko, on teaching sex positivity [19:15] -
“Could you please show me this famous clit?”
— Pete (via Dossie Easton) [40:48] -
“This is the legacy of the sexual freedom that we enjoy today. These are the people who are the brave explorers who simply wouldn't take no for an answer. I honor them. I thank them. I'm profoundly grateful for them. They showed me what an open and free sexuality could really look like. And you are the people who are carrying this on into the future and making the torch burn brighter and brighter.”
— Dossie Easton [49:28]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [03:52] Lacey Liu’s ganja farm romance & heartbreak
- [10:20] Lacey discovers infidelity and enacts revenge
- [13:28] Dixie interviews Reid Mihalko over Baileys for a heartfelt and funny educator’s farewell
- [25:06] Infamous liquid nitrogen nipple party anecdote
- [36:01] Dossie Easton’s trailblazing Catacombs story
- [47:25] Dossie’s reflections on the impact of AIDS and institutional legacy
- [49:28] Dossie’s closing homage to the “brave explorers” of sexual freedom
Episode’s Tone & Style
The episode is raw, raucous, and deeply personal, blending laugh-out-loud humor with poignant reflections on heartache, community, and the ongoing fight for authentic sexual expression. Dixie’s curation and warmth shine through, creating a space where vulnerability and cheeky bravado coexist.
Final Thoughts
Listeners walk away with a sense of the resilience and creativity at the heart of sex-positive community—these are stories not just of bodies and pleasure, but of breaking taboos, claiming agency, and supporting each other through seismic social change. Whether you’re seeking catharsis, laughter, or a lesson in living without shame, “Significant Other” delivers the goods in Bawdy’s signature, unfiltered style.