Bawdy Storytelling Podcast

Episode 45: ‘Welcome to the Pleasuredrome’ (Dolan Wolf)
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Guest Storyteller: Dolan Wolf
Date: October 24, 2018

Episode Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling features Dolan Wolf’s deeply personal, raw, and often hilarious account of his first experience at a London gay sauna – the legendary Pleasuredrome. The story is a coming-out journey infused with vulnerability, sexual awakening, and a hearty dose of Dolan’s dry humor. Host Dixie De La Tour, as ever, champions sex-positive, candid storytelling, introducing Dolan as a performer whose workshops and porn accolades have made him a favorite in the kink and queer scenes.

Key Discussion Points & Story Narrative

1. Setting the Tone: Bawdy’s Mission and Dolan’s Background

• Dixie opens with a signature warning about adult content: “So unless you want to have a conversation with your kids that you're probably not ready to have, let's keep this between me and you, shall we?” (00:17)
• She introduces Dolan Wolf, London-born, “Best British Daddy” award-winner, performer for Mr. S Leather, and sex-positive educator. Dolan’s background in porn and teaching lays context for his comfort (and joy) in discussing explicit topics.

2. Dolan Wolf’s Story: A Transformational Night at the Pleasuredrome (03:58–17:55)

Life Before the Sauna

• Setting the Scene:
  Summer of 1997, Dolan is 25, frustrated in a PR executive job, fresh from rugby injuries, and “fucking miserable.” (04:18)
• On Not Fitting In:
  “I'm a PR executive, a job I should never have taken. Which is about the one thing my boss, Samantha, and I can agree on. I don't care for her, I don't care for PR. And the closest I am to being a writer is composing a press release promoting the virtues of exotic meats like kangaroo and kudu.” (04:43)
• Rugby and Accidents:
  After trying rugby again post-college, “Six games into my newfound love of rugby, I snapped this arm in two… undeterred, I go back onto the rugby pitch. Twenty minutes later, I'm carried off with a ruptured anterior cruciate ligament in my right knee.” (05:41)

Catalysts for Change

• Inspiration by Chance:
  Friend Jackie gives him Jonathan Livingston Seagull to push for self-actualization.
• Accidental (or Not) Nudge:
  John, the IT guy, leaves the office Time Out magazine open to the gay section on Dolan’s desk. There, Dolan finds a coupon for the Pleasuredrome sauna.
  “The main reason why I hadn't done anything was I was afraid that I would regret it for the rest of my life. Only at this point in my life, I was so fucking miserable, I didn't feel like it could get any worse.” (07:50)

Walking into the Pleasuredrome

• First Steps and Rationalizations:
  “If they didn't want me to be here, they wouldn't have advertised.” (08:40)
  Dolan uses a fake name and presents his £2-off coupon, thinking, “If this is going to be the end of my life, I'm going to get a good deal on it.”
• The Surprise of Normalcy:
  The changing room is “only remarkable for its ordinariness. It could be any changing room in a gym or rugby club.” (09:11)
• Anxiety & Desire:
  As men disappear into a steam room, Dolan's nerves escalate:
  “...my brain is quietly freaking out, but my body has been hijacked by a part of me that's been repressed for so long, it's not letting go of the wheel.” (09:49)

First Taste of Gay Cruising

• Observations of the Ritual:
  “I'm witnessing cruising for the first time, and it's kind of hot.” (10:26)
• Connection with a Stranger:
  He describes an almost cinematic attraction:
  “He’s kind of like Colin Farrell, but a bit, you know, thicker set, maybe a couple of shades less pretty. Not wildly muscular, but firm.” (11:02)
• First Physical Contact:
  “And now our hands are touching on the bench. But maybe I'm imagining this. Maybe I just want this so much... Now his hands on top of mine and our fingers are entwining.” (11:40)
• The Kiss:
  “...'And then instinct takes over and we both lean in and we kiss. And it's on.'” (12:11)

The Dark Room: First Gay Sexual Experience

• Description of the Act:
  “...two men kissing and touching each other... man cock, man balls, hairy, manly ass. It feels weird and wonderful and strange and natural. If my brain had escape pods, bits of it would be piling into them...” (12:21)
• “You're not just coming out of the closet, you're turning around and hammering the fuck out of the closet door.” (13:54)
• Audience transforms the sexual experience:
  “...when you add an audience to that... they become part of that positive feedback loop and amplify it.” (14:22)
• Discovery of Pleasure:
  “I had no idea that I could get that much pleasure from my nipples. Up till now they'd been like the Kardashians, always there, but no practical use whatsoever.” (14:48)

Afterglow and Reflection

• Tenderness in the Aftermath:
  Post-orgasm, they relax together, and Dolan confesses his inexperience.
• Release and Awakening:
  “I stumbled out of the sauna and I saw the world with totally different eyes. Now, any of the men on the street in front of me could have been like me or any of the men in the sauna. And before this, none of them were.” (15:49)
• Personal Evolution Revealed:
  “Five years later, I'd be working for a gay men's sexual health charity. Ten years later, I'd be teaching classes in how to have better butt sex. And almost 21 years later, two years the day, give or take, I'm on this stage telling the story for you guys here at Bawdy.” (16:09)
• Lasting Lesson:
  “When I hear someone say to me, oh, I'm not the sort of person who [fill in the blank], I'm compelled to say you're only not the sort of person who goes to a gay bathhouse or who winds up showing the world his shaved butthole on the front cover of a fisting dvd or telling your story at Bawdy... until you are.” (16:55)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "If this is going to be the end of my life, I'm going to get a good deal on it." — Dolan Wolf, explaining his use of the coupon at the door (08:51)
• “...my body has been hijacked by a part of me that’s been repressed for so long, it’s not letting go of the wheel.” — Dolan Wolf (09:49)
• “You’re not just coming out of the closet, you’re turning around and hammering the fuck out of the closet door.” — Dolan Wolf (13:54)
• “…my nipples. Up till now they’d been like the Kardashians, always there, but no practical use whatsoever.” — Dolan Wolf (14:48)
• “Any of the men on the street in front of me could have been like me or any of the men in the sauna. And before this, none of them were.” — Dolan Wolf (15:49)
• “You’re only not the sort of person who goes to a gay bathhouse… until you are.” — Dolan Wolf (16:55)

Other Segments and Highlights

Listener Interactions & Workshops (18:48)

• Dixie invites listeners to book her for workshops, coaching, or live shows, emphasizing her open-minded, shame-free style.

Musical Interlude (20:33)

• MC Crumbsnatcher’s cheeky track “If You Think My Face Is Cute Then You Should See My Asshole” is played, complementing the story’s naughty and exuberant tone.

Announcements & Community Love (23:48)

• Dixie calls out supporters like Good Vibrations, shares tour and live show dates, and expresses gratitude to her team and listeners.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:17 - Adult content advisory; Dixie’s playful tone
• 03:58 - Dolan Wolf’s Pleasuredrome story begins
• 05:41 - Rugby accident stories
• 07:50 - Dolan’s internal struggles and catalyst for attending the sauna
• 09:11 - Entering the Pleasuredrome
• 10:26 - Observing cruising for the first time
• 11:40 - First physical connection in the steam room
• 12:11 - First kiss with another man
• 13:54 - “Hammering the fuck out of the closet door” (Coming out in public, sex in front of others)
• 14:48 - Discovery of nipple pleasure, “like the Kardashians…”
• 15:49 - Walking into a changed world after first gay sex
• 16:55 - Defining identity: “You’re only not the sort of person... until you are.”
• 18:48 - Dixie discusses workshops and coaching
• 20:33 - MC Crumbsnatcher’s playful, raunchy music performance

Summary Tone

The episode maintains Bawdy Storytelling’s signature mix: vulnerable realness, explicit hilarity, and deeply human moments. Dolan Wolf’s narrative is a roadmap for self-discovery and liberation, blending anxiety, anticipation, tenderness, and joy. Dixie’s irreverent, welcoming energy and the show’s community spirit carry through, making this a transformative listen for anyone curious about queer awakening, overcoming fear, and the joy found in embracing true desires.