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Bawdy Storytelling
Episode 67: ‘Catcalled’ (Krashkittn)
00:31:05
Here Kitty Kitty! When nerdy new hire Jessica shows up on the job, video game artist Marley realizes he’s finally found his true love – and promptly throws away his stash of women’s clothes. But the urge remains, so Marley comes up with a plan:...
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- [00:01]
Dixie de La Tour
Hey y', all, before we get into it, can I make sure that you know that this podcast is adult in nature? And I'm probably gonna say butthole a couple times. Cause you know, it's one of my favorite words. So if you don't want people hearing the word butthole or some other very graphic things, I'd put your earbuds in right about now. Thanks.
- [00:31]
Unidentified Performer (Vagina Song)
All of my I've never fit but I won't complain and I won't quit I am enormous.
- [00:41]
Unidentified Performer (Interjections)
Get used to it.
- [00:46]
Unidentified Performer (Vagina Song)
Everyone tells me I'm too much maybe it's just you're not enough for me can't you see I'm the kind of woman I'm supposed to be? Hey, my vagina is in eight miles wide. Absolutely everyone can come inside. If you're ever frightened, just run and hide. My vagina is eight miles.
- [01:20]
Unidentified Performer (Interjections)
Why?
- [01:26]
Dixie de La Tour
Hi there and welcome to the Bodi Storytelling Podcast. This is sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour, and this is episode 67. So here's a question. Do you ever wonder why I say the episode number at the beginning of the podcast? Well, let me tell you why. When you start a podcast, it's really easy to wonder whether people are listening or not. It's not like being in a live show where you get to see people and hug them hello and make something together. A podcast is me sitting alone in my office, usually with a 165 pound St Bernard, staring at the side of my head like, why are you talking to yourself, lady? And not knowing if anybody's listening. Yes, I can look at my lips and numbers and I could see that there are a lot of people listening, but it still feels one sided. And that's not really what I'm about. Which is why this week was really special for me. Week before last, I had thanked Sindri in Reykjavik, Iceland for recommending music for the podcast. And Sindri wrote me back the other day and said, oh my God, you said my name on my favorite podcast. I had to call everybody and say listen to the podcast because you said my name. And then this week I mentioned the adorable couple last week and they wrote me and we're sending each other texts first thing in the morning to go. You are going to not believe they said your name on the body Storytelling podcast. And then they wrote me after telling me they texted everybody to listen to their name on a podcast. And that felt really special. Thanks for getting back to me. Thanks for telling me that I'm putting something out and that you're listening to it because that makes me want to do it more. And I don't want to fade out. I want to keep going with this thing. And interacting with human beings is going to be the way that we continue getting these stories to you. So if you have feelings about the podcast, if you have suggestions, if you just want to talk to me and say, hey, how's it going out there in San Francisco? Do it, because nothing would make me happier. Dixie at Body Storytelling is the email address for just about everything at Body Storytelling. I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to know that the music rocked your world. I'd like to know your reaction to the stories you telling me that you're listening and what you like and what you want more of that makes this thing continue. So thanks in advance for any feedback you have. I appreciate you. I'm going to admit something to you and if you do, email me. This is going to help me a lot because my show is about sexual and because society doesn't like us talking about sex often. I'm never sure if I'm allowed to thank people. Don't you think I'd love to thank every single Patreon supporter that I have? But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'm going to say their name on a podcast and people will know that they listen to stories about sex. It's kind of dumb, but the world's weird about sexual, and I'm trying to make it a little less weird. So it would help me if you do write me an email, if you say it's okay to say my name, or if you have a nom de scene, something else you go by, like CyberVixin69 or something like that. Let me know that, because I'd love to talk directly to you and let other people know how awesome you are. So let me know if it's okay. If you support me on Patreon, if you send me song suggestions, if you have comments or thoughts on episodes, I'd really like to know how to do it right. And you telling me how you want it done will help me do it right.
- [05:28]
OpenFit Promoter (Possibly Marty or Dana)
Do you ever find yourself wishing that you had more energy for all of your life's passions? Do you have problems getting to the gym or finding that your busy schedule doesn't allow time for regular workouts? Well, that's why I joined Open Fit. It's a brand new super simple streaming service that allows you to work out from the comfort of your living room in as little as 10 minutes. A day.
- [05:47]
Marty Garcia
Hey Dixie.
- [05:48]
OpenFit Promoter (Possibly Marty or Dana)
Marty, what are you doing out from behind the computer?
- [05:51]
Marty Garcia
Well, I heard you talking about OpenFit and I just had to chime in.
- [05:54]
OpenFit Promoter (Possibly Marty or Dana)
Oh, do you use OpenFit too? I love their ExtendBar and Yoga52 programs.
- [05:59]
Marty Garcia
Yeah, I've been using the ExtendBar too. As a stay at home dad, I always seem to be on the go, so I downloaded the OpenFit app to my phone and tablet as well as my home tv. It's so easy to make time for a workout while being a busy parent. It's really great. I've also been thinking about challenging myself and starting to participate in the tough mudder event. Openfit has a great program called the T minus 30 program. That's 30 days of high intensity workouts designed to get you ready to crush your tough motor event or just get into crazy shape.
- [06:26]
OpenFit Promoter (Possibly Marty or Dana)
Yeah, I love Open Fit for the fact that being in better shape allows me to attack all of my life's passions with the energy and stamina I've never had before. And right now, during the OpenFit 30 Day Challenge, our listeners get a special 30 day free trial membership where you get full access to OpenFitness totally free. Again, use the code B A W D Y and start using Open Fit for your journey to a healthier life.
- [06:51]
Dixie de La Tour
Are you ready for a story about true love? Are you ready for a story about gender identity? How about both? Because this woman is both. I've known her for a very long time under the name Marley and have wanted her story on my stage for a very long time. Finally happened a couple months ago and I'm really excited to have it on the podcast. Marley, also known as Crash Kitten, is a San Francisco Bay Area native and has led a career as an artist within the video game and film industry. Growing up in a progressive environment, she had great influence from passionate teachers throughout her upbringing who identified within the LGBTQ movement and never saw her own feelings of gender identity in a disparaging light. Despite those influences, society in the 80s and 90s still made it clear that questioning one's gender was not a simple path to walk in life. Marlee wanted me to let you know that even though she lives in one of the most progressive parts of the country, she's often the first transgender person that a lot of people in her parenting groups meet or in her community. So it's new ground to be broken everywhere, even here in the San Francisco Bay Area. Marley is also a parent. She has one son who is three and the next baby is due any Minute. And they're expecting a boy as well. Can't wait to meet the new member of the family. And if you remember the story I told about my freak wedding a few episodes ago, Marley was the best kitten in our wedding, and she really is the best kitten. This story is from Crash Kitten.
- [09:01]
Marley / Crash Kitten
Thank you, Dixie. That was a fantastic intro. I always knew I was your favorite of Brenton's friends. So sorry. Mic work. So as I stepped my foot out of my car, I could feel my black tights, my feet, my black tights just slip ever so slightly. Pushed into the front of my boot by my three and a half inch heels. I thought to myself, oh, my God, I can't believe that I'm about to do this. See, when I was growing up as a young boy, I learned very quickly that the world, at least at that time, was not okay with me freely expressing myself, but I was okay with me freely expressing myself. So I kept a part of myself tucked away and very, very much hidden for a very, very long time. I always kind of hoped I would come to some life experience that would just be like, hey, the doors are open. Like, this is clearly what I've been waiting for to finally know myself. And it just. I never found that. And, you know, growing up, I was never really successful with relationships. I did not have very many of them, and my longest one was only about six weeks long. And I was at work working on a Wallace and Gromit game, and there was a new hire at the company, and Jessica walked in to our office. In my life, she's kind of like, can't remember the artist's name now.
- [10:55]
Dixie de La Tour
Rachel Leigh Cook.
- [10:55]
Marley / Crash Kitten
Rachel Leacock. Thank you. She's like Rachel Leigh Cook at the beginning of she's all that, like, while she's still a nerdy art girl, which is just it. Sing to me. We were both really timid. We were both really shy. And it took us a good month peeking over each other's cubicles at each other before we both kind of mutually worked up the courage to tell each other that, you know, let's go on a date. Well, before I even got to that point, I still had a box of women's clothing I kept in the back, furthest corner of my closet. It'd take me five minutes to take the thing out every single time I wanted to dress up. But I was so paranoid and worried about my anxiety, my friends figuring it out, finding it out, or leaving something out. When I met her, I threw all that stuff out. I was like, this is A time for learning this new life experience. It's going to broaden my understanding of myself. It definitely broadened my understanding. A year later, we decided to move in together. But I found I still enjoyed wanting to at least dress as a woman, even though I hadn't in quite some time. And I was feeling this sense of a lack of honesty, even though it was something that I hadn't been doing. And I, you know, was trying to respect everything about our relationship. I really respected her and loved her, and it was only fair for me to share that with her. But I wasn't sure of it, and I needed to figure out how to become sure of it. And so I came up with a plan for myself. We were coming up to Halloween in a few weeks, and I had always had this fantasy as a kid of going to Halloween dressed up as a kitty cat. And so I saw an opportunity to put myself out in the world and dress up like a kitty cat and wear something cute and really expose something I had just really bottled up and really just kept private. And so I decided, okay, I'm going to go park at the Sutter street parking garage by Union Square on Halloween and walk a walk that I've done a hundred times while I was in college up and over Nob Hill, down to Polk street and loop around and come back. And, you know, the most I had ever done before is walk half a block at 2am from my apartment just to scurry back home when I was worried someone might be up and might see me. So it was this huge undertaking for me to work up my courage just to leave my car, just to walk out of the parking garage. And so I'm walking out of the parking garage, feeling my tail sway behind me and thinking about all the stuff that I'm wearing that I felt like I've never done this before in public. I'm so exposed and vulnerable, and it's something that always felt right to me in private. It's my first time finding out how it felt in public. And not five minutes into the walk, some guy in a car comes swinging by and goes, meow, kitty. And it's like, oh, my God. I was just catcalled as a cat. It was exhilarating. But, you know, I'm a bit of a wallflower. I wanted to stay. I was still on my journey. I was walking this very particular route, and I was not, you know, so I kept going along. And a couple blocks later, at the corner of Powell, right on Union Square, I heard two girls behind me and younger girl said, hey, is that a guy or a girl? And I heard an older girl say, I think that's a girl. And I'm like, what? It worked. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe it was working. I didn't really. I was still feeling very scared and worried about being found out by some random person. I guess I don't really know now why I was so worried. But when I walked across that street, like, I strut, like, I swayed my hips, I made sure my tail wagged like I was top of the world, but still really intimidated. And so I cut up a couple of blocks to Bush Street. I was thinking, oh, well, Union Square is crowded and Bush Street's going to be, you know, just apartments and stuff like that. But I didn't expect that there would be a bar along Bush street where the party was kind of spilling out onto the sidewalk. And there was a guy out in front of the place with a digital SLR camera. Like, I shoot photographs. I know that's a really good camera. And I'm thinking to myself, okay, now this is going to be recorded. Like, this isn't just something I did and got away with and nobody ever knew about it. I mean, it wasn't nowadays where things end up on the Internet quite. But it was something. I knew there would be a very high detail photograph of me walking around in women's clothing in San Francisco. And sure enough, about five feet away, I hear the telltale beep, beep, click, click, click. It was like, oh, okay, it's captured forever. All right. This is okay. I'm fine with this. This is good. This is exactly what I was in for. I wanted to push myself to a new extreme. And this was something that was really pushing my sense of security, and it was great. As I was starting to get down towards Polk, about a block away, two bros walk in the other direction. They read me right away. They knew I was a guy dressed in women's clothing. And they said, dude, why are you dressed like that? And I didn't respond. I just said to myself, fuck you guys. You have no idea how I feel right now. I got down to Polk street, and it was a mass of people. And I felt just like I was myself amongst other people and I was actually getting a chance to be in the world with other people rather than feeling like I'm either putting on a show or holding something back around other people, which was how I spent my life. And it was amazing. Hiked back to my car, my feet hurt, you know, good Leather boots. It was nice. It's a part I enjoy. And I'm such a nerd. When I got home, I literally put the exact route into Google Maps and it was 1.3 miles. I'm like, hey, I walked. I walked a mile in women's shoes. This is great. But that's not why I went on the walk. I went on the walk because I loved this girl and I needed to be honest with her. Three weeks later, we went to see Wicked at the Orphan Theater here in San Francisco. I had parked at Sutter street parking garage because it's easy to get to. I like it. You know, it just works. And so we walked there, and we're sitting in the audience, and the whole time we're watching Wicked, all I could think about was how beautiful the actress playing Glinda was, what amazing costumes she had. And here, not just in a public, you know, ambiguous scenario, she was the focus of attention and applauded and loved. And I wondered what that would be like. And so we were walking back to the car after the performance, right along the same block on Union Square, and I told Jessica, I, for a lot of my life, have enjoyed dressing as a woman. And I very early on identified certain things that I felt girls got to do freely and boys did not. And those things were, for me, it's like finding type of food that you really love and being like, oh, that's delicious. I love that food. It's like that. It's just, this is for me. And I remember looking at her and she was accepting, but it was difficult, and she loved me, but it was new, complex information she was ready to adjust to. And for a long time, we worked it out. We went through a lot of what is feeling safe for me to dress up and when it's feeling too much for her for me to dress up. And so keeping those boundaries in place and slowly those boundaries eroded away. But I never really let go of this sense of personal anxiety that even though. Even though she accepted me, I didn't truly believe it. I was still worried there was something I was going to do that was going to turn her away. And one day she needed to go into a room in our house that I kept all my women's clothing in, and it was a complete mess in there. She walked in to go look at the thing, find something, and I rushed past her and I started frantically picking up all my clothes, putting away all my heels, just trying to hide everything, just shaking with anxiety. And she grabbed me by my shoulders and said, there's nothing in this room that will make me not love you. Now, we've been married for five years, we have a two and a half year old son, and we have another son on the way in April, what I learned was that in order to love, I had to take one of the most vulnerable traits of myself and accept it. And what I found is that when I was loved, those traits were cherished. So, thank you.
- [21:31]
Unidentified Performer (Interjections)
It's.
- [22:10]
Unidentified Performer (Rebel Rebel Song)
Got your mother in the world? She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl. Hey baby, your hair's all right? Hey babe, let's go out to night? You like me and I like it all? We like dancing and we love divine? You know fans when they play it on? You want more and you want it more? Put your down, say I'm gone? Attack your thing, put them on? Rebel, rebel, switch on your dress? Rebel, rebel, your face is a mess? Rebel, rebel? After they know? Hot tramp, I love you so.
- [23:18]
Unidentified Performer (Interjections)
You.
- [23:18]
Unidentified Performer (Rebel Rebel Song)
Got your mother in our world? Cause she's not sure if you're a boy or a girl? Hey babe, your hair's all right? Hey babe, let's stay out tonight? You like me and I like it all? We like dancing and we look divine? You love fans when they play it hard? You'd want more and you want it fast? They put you down, they say I'm wrong? You jacket things, you put them on? Rebel, rebel, you tone your dress? Rebel, rebel, your face is a mess? Rebel, rebel? How could they know? Hot tramp, I love you so? Rebel, rebel, you turn your dress? Rebel, rebel, your face is a mess? Rebel rebel, how come they know? Hot tramp, I love you so.
- [24:48]
Unidentified Performer (Interjections)
You.
- [24:49]
Don'T you dress, your face is a mess? You can't get enough? But enough ain't a test transmission and your life While you got your fuel line And a handful of loose water? Be there when they count out the dudes? And I love your dress? You're a juvenile success? Because your face is a mess? It's a hypothetical, a sad hypothetical? So what you want to know? Where you want to go? What can I do for you?
- [25:35]
Looks like a female too.
- [25:38]
Cause you to faces are males?
- [25:49]
So how could they know? How could they know?
- [26:03]
Dixie de La Tour
That was Rebel? Rebel by David Bowie? I got a phone call from my friend Mosa this morning. And Mosa said, dix, you gotta let people know when you need help, you know? And she's right. And I know that I do this on the podcast every episode, but it's because it's really hard for me to ask, but it's not going to happen unless I do. If you go to patreon.com bodi and you support us as little as $3 a month, your ongoing support means that I know that you care about this thing. That's the most important part. You're helping me cover the costs and pay the people who make it happen, but you're letting me know it's important to you and that is what makes a difference to me. So go to P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com body B A W D Y. Do what you can. And thanks in advance for your support. You and me hanging out at a Live Body Storytelling. Doesn't that sound fun? Having a cocktail, listening to stories, asking bango questions of strangers, Making new friends. These are upcoming dates for Body Storytelling in Seattle. On April 13th, I'm doing this over the top thing called the Groupon Extravaganza. I'm still planning it out, but I like making up new games. I like making up a different part to the show. It keeps it fresh for me and it's also fun to see what we can create together. That's on April 13th. That's a Saturday night and that's at the rebar. Seattle. Then on May 9th in Seattle, the theme is Libertine. I'm taking story pitches right now for Libertine, so if you're a sexual free spirit, I'd love to have your story send it to Dixie bodystorytelling.com and then that weekend, May 11th and 12th, I am teaching my Storytelling with Dixie Live Story retreat in Seattle in a really cool spot. And I had such an amazing time working with students here in San Francisco last week. I really am excited about doing it in Seattle. If you're anywhere near Seattle, it's totally going to be worth it. We had people come from 1,000 miles away to attend the San Francisco one. You can do that for the Seattle one. And you can find tickets to the Storytelling With Dixie retreat, which is May 11th and 12th on the Body Storytelling website in San Francisco. On April 18th, we're going to have Gateway Drug send me your pitches. It could be about drugs, could be about things that introduced you to other things. And that one is going to be April 18th at the Verdi Club. And after that, May 17th on a Friday night, we're doing Unicorn Fest. I got a lot of Trouble doing stuff 10 years ago by doing a unicorn raffle, and I'm very curious to see what I can do around the unicorn theme this year that isn't going to get me arrested. Wouldn't that be great, not getting arrested? But if you possibly can, I'd love to have you there. It would be great to see your face. It'd be great to hang out. I'll see you soon at a Live Body Storytelling and you can get tickets@bodistorytelling.com this podcast isn't just me. There's a whole team of us that make it happen every week. So let's say thanks to them, shall we? Thank you to podcast producer Marty Garcia to project manager Dana Hanna, to video archivist Joe Moore, to sound engineer David Grossoff. Thank you to you. Thanks for telling people about the podcast. Thanks for letting me know what you like and what you don't like. A review wherever the you do reviews, I can say fuck because you know, it's an adult podcast. Wherever you do reviews, I'd love to know what you're thinking. It tells other people to come listen to us too, and that's important. Thank you so much for listening. I am sexual folklorist Dixie de La Tour. You've been listening to the Bawdy Storytelling podcast and here's a pink of what's next.
- [30:15]
Unidentified Performer (Perfume Ad Story)
I also found in a fashion magazine a perfume ad with a series of images of a woman getting undressed with her dark hair piled high on her head, a pale neck, a blue silk bathrobe slowly undressing, frame by frame by frame. I cut those out, put a dab of my perfume on it, put it in an envelope, stamp on it. It's called US Mail.
- [30:51]
Marley / Crash Kitten
And every day.
- [30:51]
Unidentified Performer (Perfume Ad Story)
I would mail one. The stage is set.