Podcast Episode Summary
Bawdy Storytelling – Episode 67: "Catcalled" (Krashkittn)
Date: March 27, 2019
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Storyteller: Marley, aka "Crash Kitten"
Episode Overview
In this powerful, vulnerable episode of Bawdy Storytelling, storyteller Marley (Crash Kitten) shares her personal journey of self-discovery, coming out as transgender, and the role of honesty, acceptance, and love in her relationship. The story—titled "Catcalled"—pivots around Marley’s courageous experience of walking through San Francisco on Halloween, dressed as her authentic self for the first time, and ultimately coming out to her partner, Jessica.
With warmth, candor, and humor, Marley recounts the anxiety, exhilaration, and small victories of living authentically, even within an outwardly progressive environment. Dixie De La Tour introduces the episode with her trademark wit, touching on the challenges of running a sex-positive podcast and the importance of building community through open dialogue.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Challenge and Power of Living Authentically
[09:00] - [10:54]
- Marley recounts growing up as a young boy and quickly learning how "the world…was not okay with me freely expressing myself, but I was okay with me freely expressing myself."
- She describes her initial strategy of keeping her gender expression private—hiding clothes, living in secrecy, and longing for a pivotal life moment that would give her permission to be herself.
- "I always kind of hoped I would come to some life experience that would just be like, hey, the doors are open. Like, this is clearly what I've been waiting for to finally know myself." [09:32]
2. Meeting Jessica – The Beginning of Vulnerability
[10:54] - [12:20]
- Marley meets Jessica at work, describing an office romance between two shy people.
- When they begin dating, Marley, in an effort to conform and "figure it out," throws away her hidden women's clothes—but soon realizes this doesn't erase her needs.
- The undercurrent: Even love demands honesty. She realizes she must be truthful with Jessica about her feelings and needs.
3. Deciding to Take the Risk – The Halloween Walk
[13:00] - [17:10]
- Marley crafts a plan: On Halloween, she'll dress as a cat—a longstanding childhood fantasy—and walk through downtown San Francisco.
- The internal struggle is palpable: “It was this huge undertaking for me to work up my courage just to leave my car, just to walk out of the parking garage.” [13:39]
- Each interaction on the walk tests her resolve:
- Catcalled as a cat: "Some guy in a car comes swinging by and goes, ‘meow, kitty.’ And it's like, oh my God. I was just catcalled as a cat. It was exhilarating." [14:21]
- Passing in public: Hearing strangers debate her gender—and the euphoria of being read as a woman: "I think that's a girl…It worked." [14:48]
- Facing ridicule: Encountering “two bros” who read her: "‘Dude, why are you dressed like that?’ And I didn't respond. I just said to myself, fuck you guys. You have no idea how I feel right now." [16:26]
4. The Importance of Acceptance and Safe Spaces
[17:10] - [20:30]
- Marley describes how the feeling of authenticity was transformative: “I felt just like I was myself amongst other people and I was actually getting a chance to be in the world with other people rather than feeling like I'm either putting on a show or holding something back.” [17:36]
- She celebrates her nerdiness and the literal accomplishment: "I walked a mile in women's shoes. This is great." [17:52]
- Ultimately, the act isn’t merely about the walk, but about being brave enough to reveal her full self to Jessica.
5. Coming Out and Navigating the Relationship
[18:10] - [20:49]
- Marley chooses the walk home from the theater ("Wicked") to come out to Jessica about loving to dress as a woman. She likens these moments of self-expression to "finding a type of food that you really love."
- Jessica’s reaction is accepting but complex, and together they establish boundaries—"slowly those boundaries eroded away" as trust and security grew.
- The most vulnerable moment comes when Marley frantically tries to hide her clothes: "She grabbed me by my shoulders and said, 'there's nothing in this room that will make me not love you.'" [20:32]
- The story ends with the happiness that honesty, vulnerability, and acceptance bring—now married with two children.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On internal acceptance versus external pressure:
"The world, at least at that time, was not okay with me freely expressing myself, but I was okay with me freely expressing myself." — Marley [09:12] -
On dressing up for Halloween:
"This is exactly what I was in for. I wanted to push myself to a new extreme. And this was something that was really pushing my sense of security, and it was great." — Marley [15:45] -
On being recognized (or not):
"I heard two girls behind me…'Is that a guy or a girl?'…'I think that's a girl.' And I'm like, what? It worked. Oh my gosh. I can't believe it." — Marley [14:50] -
On being truly seen and accepted:
"She grabbed me by my shoulders and said, 'there's nothing in this room that will make me not love you.'" — Jessica, Marley's wife [20:32] -
On self-acceptance through love:
"What I learned was that in order to love, I had to take one of the most vulnerable traits of myself and accept it. And what I found is that when I was loved, those traits were cherished." — Marley [21:24]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [00:01] – [02:30]: Host Dixie introduces the podcast, sets the tone for explicit, honest conversation, and discusses listener feedback.
- [06:51]: Dixie introduces Marley/"Crash Kitten" and provides context for her story.
- [09:00]: Marley begins her storytelling.
- [13:00]: Marley details planning her Halloween cat walk.
- [14:21]: The "meow, kitty" catcall.
- [14:50]: Passing as a woman in public for the first time.
- [16:26]: Facing mockery from “two bros.”
- [17:36]: Feeling at home in the crowd and walking a mile in women's boots.
- [18:10]: Coming out to Jessica after seeing "Wicked."
- [20:32]: Jessica's statement of unconditional love.
- [21:24]: Marley reflects on love, vulnerability, and acceptance.
Episode Tone & Style
- Warm, raw, and uplifting: The story balances humor, pain, anxiety, and joy, inviting listeners to reflect on authenticity and connection.
- Sex-positive and celebratory: True to Bawdy Storytelling’s brand, the episode is unflinchingly open about identity, sexuality, and the beauty of being oneself.
Final Thoughts
“Catcalled” is a deeply personal, relatable, and inspiring account of the courage it takes to be vulnerable with those we love, and the transformative power of acceptance. Marley’s journey is emblematic of why Bawdy Storytelling continues to matter as a platform: by holding space for honest, lived stories, it fosters empathy, self-reflection, and a sense of shared humanity.