Podcast Summary: Bawdy Storytelling

Episode 99: ‘Celestial’ (Scott Sessions)
Host: Dixie De La Tour
Guest Storyteller: Scott Sessions
Date: November 29, 2019

Overview

This episode of Bawdy Storytelling, hosted by Dixie De La Tour, features Scott Sessions—a queer descendant of Mormon pioneers—who candidly shares his journey of sexual awakening and spiritual reconciliation. With warmth and vulnerability, Scott explores the interplay between his Mormon upbringing, queer identity, and the search for awe, culminating in an unexpectedly sacred masturbation experience. The episode celebrates honest storytelling about sex, religion, shame, liberation, and self-love.

Key Discussion Points & Story Arc

1. Introduction to the Episode

• Dixie, recovering from laryngitis, kicks off the episode with her trademark humor, discussing recent media attention and her personal battle with illness.
  • [01:13] Dixie: “I really need a bowl of matzo ball soup right now, you guys.”
  • Emphasizes the sex-positive mission and the unique live storytelling format.
• Briefs listeners on the featured storyteller, Scott Sessions, highlighting his background as a “queer descendant of Mormon pioneers.”

2. Scott Sessions’ Story: “Celestial”

A. Early Mormon Upbringing & Identity Conflict

• The Celestial Kingdom Explained
  • [08:42] Scott: “For Mormons, marriage is extremely important... it's marriage in the Mormon theology that will let me achieve the highest level of heaven called the celestial kingdom.”
  • As a child, Scott found beauty in the idea of progressing to godhood, but also felt a budding attraction to boys and girls, unable to voice it.
• Queer Sexuality in the Context of Faith
  • [09:58] Scott: “What I'm actually crazy about is boys and girls... I think it's probably not a godly thing to think about.”
  • Internalizes homophobic church teachings, leading to shame and secrecy.

B. Teenage Years: Self-Denial and Shame

• Commitment to Mormonism
  • [11:03] “I want to be the best Mormon ever. I really want to get to the celestial kingdom.”
  • Immerses himself in religious activities, seeking to “fix” himself.
• First Sexual Encounters & Guilt
  • [12:31] Scott describes anonymous hookups with older men found through sex hotlines, feeling “completely fucking terrible” afterward.
  • Confesses to his bishop:
    [13:40] “He agrees that I am [guilty] and tells me that it's going to take a long time to repent.”

C. Liberation Beyond Mormonism

• Leaving Utah & the Church
  • Works at a summer camp in Pennsylvania—his first experience away from Mormon culture.
    [14:30] “It's really fucking relieving to just live day to day and be kind of open to what the world has to offer.”
• First Healthy, Joyful Sexual Experience
  • With Jeffrey, a circus arts instructor at camp:
    [15:26] “We touched each other and we kissed each other and we masturbated each other until we came. And it was amazing.”
  • Realizes sex can be natural and joyful; decides to leave the church.
• Years of Exploration
  • Travels the world, embraces atheism/agnosticism, explores sexuality, but senses something’s missing:
    [16:12] “No matter where I go, no matter what I see, no matter who I fuck, I rarely feel a sense of awe and... wonder.”

D. Rediscovering Wonder—Sex and the Sacred

• Unexpected Return to Church
  • [17:10] Attends Good Shepherd Episcopal Church in Berkeley; finds a progressive, queer-friendly community.
  • Learns from queer theologians that God is beyond binaries and “speaks every language, including erotic attraction.”
• The Celestial Sexual Experience
  • Scott, now 26, describes a transformative moment of masturbation on a sunny afternoon:
    [18:27] “All of a sudden the energy shifts and things feel different and there's someone else in the room and I know it to be God.”
  • Opens a dialogue with God, setting boundaries:
    [19:27] “God, if I am in a relationship with you and you start telling me to hate myself, it's done... if you start leading me to hate anybody else, fuck it, I'm out.”
  • Experiences profound acceptance, union of sexuality and spirituality:
    [20:37] “There's no part of me that doesn't feel loved. There's no part of me that doesn't feel sexy. There's no part of me that doesn't feel fucking horny.” [20:53] “And finally we explode. And there's this beautiful joy... God is swimming through the room and swimming through me. And I finally feel that I have joined the eternal cycle of creation... I feel fucking celestial.”
  • Final benediction:
    [21:32] “It’s all I can do to breathe in deeply and say hallelujah and amen.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Mormon Theology:
  • [08:42] Scott: “For Mormons, marriage is extremely important... it's marriage in the Mormon theology that will let me achieve the highest level of heaven called the celestial kingdom.”
• On Early Queer Desire:
  • [09:58] “What I'm actually crazy about is boys and girls... I think it's probably not a godly thing to think about.”
• On Shame and Repentance:
  • [13:40] “He agrees that I am [guilty] and tells me that it's going to take a long time to repent.”
• First Joyful Sex:
  • [15:26] “We touched each other and we kissed each other and we masturbated each other until we came. And it was amazing. It felt like I had touched foot on an entirely new planet after 21 years on this one.”
• On Conditional Spirituality:
  • [19:27] “God, if I am in a relationship with you and you start telling me to hate myself, it's done... if you start leading me to hate anybody else, fuck it, I'm out.”
• Sacred Sexual Union:
  • [20:37] “There's no part of me that doesn't feel loved... or fucking horny... now [my heart and my cock] are dancing together and they're harmonizing and singing in one voice.”
• Conclusion:
  • [21:32] “It’s all I can do to breathe in deeply and say hallelujah and amen.”

Important Timestamps

• [08:09] – Scott’s story begins
• [09:45] – Mormon childhood and introduction to the celestial kingdom
• [12:31] – Teenage sexual encounters and ensuing guilt
• [14:30] – Leaving Utah, first positive sexual experience
• [16:12] – Travels, atheism, sense of emptiness
• [17:10] – Returns to church, discovers new theology about God and sexuality
• [18:27] – The celestial masturbation experience and encounter with God
• [20:53] – Climax and spiritual union: “And finally we explode... I feel fucking celestial.”
• [21:32] – Closing benediction: “hallelujah and amen”

Closing Song & Messages

• [23:04] – Jefferson Berge performs “Everyone Is Gay,” providing an affirming, joyful coda about loving who you are and celebrating diversity.
• Dixie closes with gratitude to supporters, staff, and a reminder that these powerful stories help foster empathy, tolerance, and self-love.

Episode Tone & Style

Scott’s storytelling is earnest, humorous, frank, and emotionally rich, matching Bawdy Storytelling’s sex-positive, celebratory vibe. The episode deftly balances humor and gravity, honoring the messy complexity of sexuality, shame, faith, and transcendence.

For anyone seeking stories of spiritual reconciliation, queer joy, and the sacredness of sex, “Celestial” is a deeply moving and evocative listen.