I’m Not Taking the Late Invite 10-10-25 - Becker Business

Becker Business Podcast – Episode Summary

Podcast: Becker Business
Host: Scott Becker
Episode: I’m Not Taking the Late Invite 10-10-25
Date: October 10, 2025

Overview

In this solo episode of Becker Business, host Scott Becker pivots from his usual focus on startups, private equity, and venture capital to candidly discuss the social dynamic of being invited to events as a last-minute replacement. Combining humor and personal insight, Scott reflects on the nuances of late invitations and why he chooses to decline them, despite his affection for the people involved.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Recurring Scenario of Late Invites

Scott highlights a trend where friends or acquaintances invite him to various outings (like golf trips or dinners) only after an original guest cancels (00:20).
The invitations usually come as last-minute asks, often portraying Scott as the "alternate" or "lucky loser."

2. His Personal Stance on Last-Minute Invitations

Scott expresses clear boundaries around last-minute invites, regardless of how much he likes the group or the activity (01:00).
He humorously notes that whether he is the "first alternate, the 30th alternate, it is very easy. The answer is: I’m not coming now" (01:15).

3. The Importance of Pride and Self-Respect

He admits he does not enjoy being chosen as a backup option, stating, "Even if [I am] not busy, I have too much pride to be the lucky loser, the sloppy second. The 30th guy invited" (01:40).
Despite some close friends happily accepting late invites, Scott stands firm in his decision and pride.

4. Differentiating Personal Affection from Social Choices

Scott repeatedly clarifies his fondness for the group, emphasizing the decision is not about the people but about the situation (02:10).
He jokes about his friends who do accept these invites, emphasizing everyone should do what works for them.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On being the alternate:
"When I am invited at the last minute as the lucky loser, as the alternate, I don’t care from the first alternate, the 30th alternate...the answer is: I’m not coming now." — Scott Becker (01:15)
On personal boundaries:
"Even if not busy, I have too much pride to be the lucky loser, the sloppy second. The 30th guy invited." — Scott Becker (01:40)
On friendship and affection:
"I love the guys. I absolutely love the guys. I don’t want to misunderstand this… But no, I’m not going on your dumb golf outing." — Scott Becker (02:10)
On respecting others' choices:
"One of my close friends did go on the last trip, where I think he was either the 17th or 18th alternate. But God bless him, I know he had a great time. It is what it is." — Scott Becker (02:20)

Timestamps for Important Segments

00:00–00:20 – Introduction: Shifting from business to a personal anecdote
00:21–01:00 – Description of the recurring late invite scenario
01:01–01:40 – Scott’s policy on late invitations and pride
01:41–02:20 – On friends accepting invites and personal boundaries
02:21–02:50 – Closing thoughts, affection for the group, and summary

Tone and Style

Scott’s tone is candid, humorous, and self-deprecating, keeping the discussion relatable and light-hearted—even as he reinforces his stance on late invitations and personal boundaries.

Takeaway

This episode is a relatable reflection on the complexities of social invitations, pride, and self-worth, told with Scott Becker’s characteristic warmth and wit—a reminder that sometimes, it’s okay to just say no, even to people and activities you love.

Transcript

A (0:00)

This is Scott Becker with the Becker Business and the Becker Private Equity Podcast. We talk about business startups, venture capital, private equity, and a lot more. Today's discussions on a different topic. This is. I'm not taking the late invite. So. So here's the deal and here's the topic. It seems like it's happened a lot this year where guys are planning some kind of trip. It could be a golf trip, it could be a golf out. It could be a dinner outing, whatever it might be. And somebody who I actually love will text or email me the day before the trip or a few weeks before the trip or the outing and say, hey, we had planned this trip that you knew nothing about and weren't included in originally, and we'd love you to join because this guy, who we absolutely love, who's one of our favorites, has canceled. And so will you join. So here's the deal. I don't care how much I love this group of guys, and there are some of them I absolutely love. There's probably always a couple that I could live with or without. But overall, great, great guys. But when I am invited at the last minute as the lucky loser, as the alternate, I don't care from the first alternate, the 30th alternate, it is very easy. The answer is, I'm not coming now. The reality is I don't like to travel and go on long trips. I certainly don't want to play 18 or 36 holes. I love the guys. I absolutely love the guys. I don't want to misunderstand this, but when I get the invite after somebody else has canceled, somebody else has canceled. Say, hey, would you like to join us for this? The answer is no, I can't do it. I am busy. But even if not busy, I have too much pride to be the lucky loser, the sloppy second. The 30th guy invited. One of my close friends did go on the last trip, where I think he was either the 17th or 18th alternate. But God bless him, I know he had a great time. It is what it is. This. I love the guys. I love that guy. But no, I'm not going on your dumb golf outing. Thank you so much for asking. I love you all. God bless America. Thank you for listening to the Becker Private Equity and the Becker Business podcast. Thank you, thank you, thank you.