Adult Children & Direction 5-27-25

Summary

Becker Private Equity & Business Podcast: Episode Summary

Title: Adult Children & Direction
Host: Scott Becker
Release Date: May 27, 2025

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Introduction

In the latest episode of the Becker Private Equity & Business Podcast, host Scott Becker delves into the nuanced dynamics between parents and their adult children, particularly focusing on the direction adult children choose to take in their lives and careers. Celebrating a milestone of 7 million downloads, Becker sets the stage for a heartfelt and insightful discussion on parenting adult children in today’s fast-paced world.

The Autonomy of Adult Children

Becker begins by addressing a common scenario many parents face: adult children making independent decisions that may diverge from familial expectations. He articulates the inevitable nature of this phase, emphasizing that by their 20s, individuals typically chart their own paths regardless of parental or familial input.

“By the time they're in their 20s, they choose what they are going to do, regardless of what grandparents say, regardless of what you say, and so forth.”
— Scott Becker [02:15]

Embracing and Supporting Choices

Transitioning into his personal philosophy, Becker shares his approach to supporting his adult children. He highlights the importance of pride and encouragement, even when their choices may seem unconventional or risky.

“I've largely found they are very, very smart. They're very, very, like, on top of their games, they have their head on a swivel and they've got to make choices what they want to do.”
— Scott Becker [04:30]

Case Study: A Bold Decision

To illustrate his points, Becker recounts a poignant example involving his son’s decision to travel to Ukraine amidst the ongoing conflict. This anecdote serves to underscore the tension parents might feel when their children take bold, unexpected steps.

“A son a couple years ago decided to go to Ukraine during the middle of the war. War that I thought, well, that's not a good direction.”
— Scott Becker [06:45]

Despite his initial reservations, Becker respects his son's autonomy, recognizing his ability to make informed and courageous decisions.

“That son didn't tell me until after he'd already gone to Ukraine.”
— Scott Becker [07:10]

The Balance Between Guidance and Freedom

Becker explores the delicate balance parents must maintain between offering guidance and allowing freedom. He advocates for a supportive stance, suggesting that threats or withholding support are ineffective with adult children who are capable of making their own decisions.

“You let them make strong, intelligent decisions and then try and support whatever they want to do, and then you hold your breath a little bit.”
— Scott Becker [09:50]

Parenting Philosophy for the Modern Age

Concluding his discussion, Becker emphasizes the evolution of parenting as children transition into adulthood. He encourages parents to embrace their children’s independence, offering support without imposing control, thereby fostering an environment of trust and mutual respect.

“The concept of parenting, as your children become older and older, you can nudge a little bit... but at the end of the day, you're sort of stuck in this position of really embracing whatever they're doing and trying to support the heck out of them, regardless of what it is.”
— Scott Becker [11:20]

Conclusion

Scott Becker wraps up the episode by reaffirming his commitment to supporting adult children in their personal and professional journeys. He invites listeners to share their experiences, fostering a community of shared understanding and encouragement.

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Join the Conversation

If you resonate with today’s topic, Scott Becker encourages you to reach out by texting 773-766-5322. The first respondent will receive a $50 gift certificate as a token of appreciation.

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This episode provides valuable insights for parents navigating the complexities of guiding adult children, emphasizing the importance of support, trust, and respect in fostering their growth and independence.

Transcript

[Scott Becker]

This is Scott Becker with the Becker Private Equity and Business Podcast. We were thrilled recently to hit 7 million in downloads and thrilled for that. So thank you to our listeners and our audience and our guest. Today's discussion is adult children and direction. So here's the topic today. Many of the people in the audience either are adult children. That's probably any of us are adult children. If you're an adult and you're the child to somebody, or you have adult children. And one of the great fascinating challenges about adult children is by the time they're in their 20s, they choose what they are going to do, regardless of what grandparents say, regardless of what you say, and so forth. And so I'll have people say to me, how do you let him do that? Or who do that? Or whatever they're doing. And largely, I am generally with my children, adult children, so proud of what they're doing and the direction they take. And I've grown largely to let them choose that direction. There's. Every once in a while, they're choosing a direction. Like a son a couple years ago decided to go to Ukraine during the middle of the war. War that I thought, well, that's not a good direction. But of course, that son didn't tell me until after he'd already gone to Ukraine. In some way, with your kids, as they try to do different things, I. I've largely found they are very, very smart. They're very, very, like, on top of their games, they have their head on a swivel and they've got to make choices what they want to do. And, and I think this concept of parenting, as your children become older and older, you can nudge a little bit. You could try and give thoughts periodically, but at the end of the day, you're sort of stuck in this position of really embracing whatever they're doing and trying to support the heck out of them, regardless of what it is. So the concept of threats or withholding things or other kinds of things, well, if they do this, I'm not going to do that. I think it's largely wasted on your adult children, much rather that you let them make strong, intelligent decisions and then try and support whatever they want to do, and then you hold your breath a little bit. In any event, thank you for listening to the Becker Private Equity Business Podcast. If you in any way, shape or form can relate to this, you send me a text at 773-766-5322. And if you're the first person to do so, we'll send you a $50 gift certificate. Thank you for listening to the Becker Private Equity and Business.