Podcast Summary: Before We Go — “Kirsty Parsons Meets Her Future Self”

Podcast: Before We Go
Host: Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider
Guest: Kirsty Parsons (with insights from Prof. Hal Hirschfeld)
Date: October 16, 2025

Main Theme & Episode Purpose

This episode dives deep into the remarkable story of Kirsty Parsons, a woman born with cystic fibrosis (CF) and given little chance of reaching adulthood. Miraculously, a groundbreaking new medication transforms her prognosis, granting her a future she never imagined planning for. Through Kirsty’s journey, host Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider explores the psychological, practical, and emotional challenges of suddenly facing a long life after living in the shadow of mortality. Psychologist Hal Hirschfeld’s expertise on the “future self” concept enriches the discussion, offering universal takeaways on self-compassion, long-term planning, and resilience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding Our Relationship with the “Future Self”

• Guest Insight: Hal Hirschfeld, Psychologist (00:11–04:36)
  • Hirschfeld’s work focuses on why people struggle with decisions benefiting their future selves—covering finance, health, ethics, and mortality.
  • His research suggests people often relate to their future selves as if they’re “another person,” akin to a stranger, which can explain self-sabotaging behaviors (e.g., neglecting health, finances).
    • Quote:
      “Maybe we just don’t think of our future selves as if they’re really a connection of who we are now. Maybe they’re almost like another person.” — Hal Hirschfeld (01:34)
  • fMRI studies: The brain lights up differently when thinking about one’s current self versus their future self, resembling the neural pattern for thinking about another person.
    • Quote:
      “When people think about their future selves, the pattern of activity that arises is very similar to what arises when people think about another person.” — Hal Hirschfeld (02:40)

2. Kirsty’s Early Life with Cystic Fibrosis (CF)

• Diagnosis and Early Prognosis (08:12–09:24)
  • Kirsty was diagnosed as a newborn after emergency surgery.
  • Early ‘90s: Prognosis was grim; living beyond early adulthood was unlikely.
  • Daily life was dominated by time-consuming, physically taxing lung treatments—sometimes with hospital physio first thing in the morning and at night.
  • Emotional impact: A constant undercurrent of mortality, leading to a “live in the present” mentality.
    • Quote:
      “There was kind of…this dark cloud. If I thought too much about it, it was obviously just like, not a nice feeling. So my mentality was very much, you know, live in the present. I just packed as much as I could into life…” — Kirsty Parsons (10:39)

3. Navigating Loss & the Urgency of Life

• Losing Her Mother (12:20–15:35)

  • Kirsty’s mother faced cancer for several years, and their last days together (in hospice) became, in retrospect, profound and meaningful.
    • Quote:
      “Those were hard days at home…But also those were some really, really special moments we had together…we were able to say goodbye.” — Kirsty Parsons (13:40)
  • Coping mechanism: Kirsty responded to loss with relentless forward motion, focusing on studies and future goals amid grief.

• Stubbornness and “Saying Yes” (17:06–19:16)

  • Kirsty credits stubbornness and a refusal to miss out for maximizing every moment, even at the cost of her health.
    • Quote:
      “I don’t want to say no to anything. I’m someone who says yes to everything even if it’s not a good idea… I thought, ‘I’m going to be more sick after the weekend, but I’m not going to say no.’” — Kirsty Parsons (17:14)

4. A Medical Breakthrough: The Drug That Changed Everything

• Clinical Trial & Immediate Effects (19:22–25:28)
  • In 2018, Kirsty joined a global drug trial for a then-unnamed CF medication.
  • Initial months brought no improvement (“I was still getting progressively sicker…”), but the trial’s open-label phase brought astonishing changes.
    • Quote:
      “Within the first few days…it was like my lungs were filled with concrete and I just could never move it…And then, I just coughed…and this plug of phlegm just came up…being able to get rid of it all and just saying goodbye to it was really cool…I describe it as being picked up and put in a brand new shiny body…” — Kirsty Parsons (23:43–25:08)
  • The new normal: Unprecedented stability, energy, and a future to plan for.

5. Adapting to a “Normal” Life

• COVID Complications & Accessibility (25:28–27:03)

  • During the pandemic, ongoing participation in the drug trial required exhausting, risky travel between New Zealand and the UK.
  • The reality for many: Access to life-saving treatment was (and remains) fraught with logistical and financial barriers.

• Mental Adjustments: Planning for a Long Life (28:22–32:13)

  • Post-miracle: Overcoming the emotional fallout of surviving (“survivor’s guilt” and existential confusion over next steps).
  • Newfound pressures: Rethinking finances, relationships, family—planning for a future that was never part of her mental landscape before.
    • Quote:
      “No one prepares you for [this]…People get diagnosed with a terminal illness, very often the reverse barely ever happens…so it’s very much like figuring out as you go along.” — Kirsty Parsons (30:38)

6. Self-Compassion, Grief, and Moving Forward

• Advice from Hal Hirschfeld (32:13–35:15)
  • Emphasizes forgiving past selves for decisions made under different life circumstances.
    • Quote:
      “You can get stuck in the regret, or you can also try to step in the shoes of your past self and recognize that the decision that she made then was a very rational one.” — Hal Hirschfeld (32:49)
  • Self-forgiveness and compassion are critical for embracing new opportunities, even if it wasn’t possible to plan the ideal life path from the start.
    • Quote:
      “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. And the second best time is today.” — Hal Hirschfeld (33:53)

7. Life Now and Hopes for the Future

• Kirsty’s Present and Reflections (35:25–36:34)
  • No longer limited by CF day-to-day, Kirsty is able to enjoy a full and active life, including outdoor adventures she never dreamed possible.
    • Quote:
      “I never, ever have to make decisions in my life factoring in cystic fibrosis anymore…Life is great. I’m able to…go for runs and for bike rides…I push myself and it’s exciting because my body can do it and my body’s getting fitter and stronger and it’s just, it feels quite limitless.” — Kirsty Parsons (35:25)
  • Memories and family remain central; Kirsty feels her late mother would be proud and emotional to see her thriving.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Hal Hirschfeld on empathy for your future self:
  “If my future self is functionally like another person, then…it starts making a lot more sense why we almost mistreat them.” (03:23)
• Kirsty, on her new health:
  “I describe it as being picked up and put in a brand new shiny body where everything was squeaky clean…unrecognisable in a way.” (25:08)
• Kirsty, on emotional adjustment:
  “No one prepares you for it…so it’s very much like figuring out as you go along.” (30:38)
• Hal, on regret:
  “Genuine self-forgiveness…is a key component to moving forward.” (33:44)
• Kirsty, reflecting on her current life:
  “Life is great…my day to day is just never, ever limited by it [CF]…it feels quite limitless.” (35:25)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:11 — Hal Hirschfeld on the concept of the future self
• 01:34–02:40 — Neuroscience: How our brains view our future selves
• 08:12–10:39 — Kirsty shares early childhood CF experiences
• 13:40 — Losing her mother and hospice memories
• 17:06–19:14 — The drive to say yes; living in the present
• 19:22–25:28 — Clinical trial and dramatic benefit from new drug
• 25:28–27:03 — COVID, healthcare access, and logistical challenges
• 28:22–30:38 — Emotional journey: Learning to envision a future
• 32:13–33:53 — Hal’s advice on self-compassion and the second-best time to plant a tree
• 35:25–36:34 — Kirsty’s active present and message of hope

Conclusion

This episode of Before We Go illustrates, through Kirsty’s extraordinary story and Hal’s psychological insights, the ways our expectations about mortality mold every aspect of our lives. It’s a meditation on resilience, self-forgiveness, and the astonishing (but disorienting) prospect of a second chance—a sudden, unexplored future. The episode invites every listener to reconsider their own relationship with their future self, and the power found in compassion, both for what was and what could be.