Transcript
Dr. Shoshana Ungerleiter (0:06)
It was on a weekend, and I often talk to my dad, certainly on the weekend. So when I got the phone call from him, I thought we would just be catching up about my recent trip. But I could tell that there was something different about his voice. He sounded just kind of worried. He said, shosh, there's a mass in my pancreas. We need to do more tests. And I just wanted to let you know, but don't tell anybody. And I clarified, is it okay if I speak to my husband? And he said, yes.
Ed Aton (0:48)
You and I were talking about it in this context, that it could be really bad. And I remember just like, you and I talking to each other and being close and worrying and hoping that this was not what we were really scared that it was going to be.
Dr. Shoshana Ungerleiter (1:06)
I immediately jump to, oh, my gosh. Well, what if this is the worst pancreatic cancer. Pancreatic cancer is one of those diseases that, as a doctor, you're like, that is what I do not want, ever. It's almost uniformly caught at its latest stage, which means that the cancer is inoperable and there is no cure. People often only live three, six, maybe nine months. And if you do opt for chemotherapy, it's pretty horrible. People have virtually no quality of life with it. It's just really, really hard.
Ed Aton (1:52)
You told me that you were scared because given everything that had happened in your family, that was a real possibility.
Dr. Shoshana Ungerleiter (2:03)
And my dad was scared, too. 25 years before he had. He'd seen his mom go through this. And then a few years after that, my uncle died, my dad's brother. So he really had this very negative, dark idea of what was going to happen to him. The whole thing was really surreal and shocking at the same time. I almost had been expecting this phone call my whole life. So many people in my family have had cancer, have died of cancer. I just was planning for it to happen to one of my parents and even happen to me one day. I'm Dr. Shoshana Ungerleiter, and as surreal as all this was, I had a lot of knowledge and support to help me navigate my father's illness. I'm an internal medicine physician, and early in my training, I noticed something that didn't sit well with me. We do some wild things to keep people alive, and it's not always what they want. In 2017, five years before my dad got sick, I founded an organization called EndWell, focused on making the end of life a part of life. And since then, I've learned a lot about how to make dying a little less hard for everyone involved. We're all terminal, regardless of whether we have a diagnosis or not. And so, so much of what I'm always trying to think about is how can we live in the present moment? How can we operate day to day knowing that time is limited? But even with everything I knew and all the support that we had, it was still so hard to confront my father's mortality. This journey would challenge all sorts of things that I thought I understood about the end of life. But it offered me something else. The chance to better understand my genetic fate and to lower my risk of developing some of the cancers that have plagued my family. This is Before We Go Episode one There Is Hope hey there, it's Shoshana. I'd love for you to join me for this year's EndWell forum on November 22nd. It's streaming live and it's free to register. EndWell is a one of a kind gathering that's all about inspiration, connection, and finding new ways to live fully, even in the face of life's biggest challenges. This isn't just an event about end of life. It's about affirming what matters most and how we all live. You'll hear from actors, artists, authors, healthcare innovators and spiritual leaders all sharing heartfelt stories and perspectives that lift us up and invite us to rethink how we connect, love and leave a lasting impact. For those who join, this experience is often life changing. Past participants have left inspired with new ideas, deep connections, and a sense of purpose that they've carried back into their lives and communities. So if you're looking for something meaningful that reminds you what's possible, register now for the free livestream@endwellproject.org I'd love for you to be a part of it. I want to tell you a bit about my dad and to do that, I'm going to go back to October 15, 2016, the day I married my husband, Ed Aton.