Podcast Summary: Before We Go

Episode Title: Yvette Nicole Brown – From Community to Caregiver
Host: Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider
Guest(s): Yvette Nicole Brown, Ai-jen Poo
Release Date: October 2, 2025

Episode Overview

This heartfelt episode explores the journey of actress Yvette Nicole Brown as she transitions from sitcom stardom ("Community") to becoming the primary caregiver for her father living with Alzheimer's disease. Through candid conversation, Yvette details how she made tough choices for family over career, the emotional complexities of caregiving, and why she advocates for a more compassionate, better supported system for all caregivers. The episode also features leading care advocate Ai-jen Poo, who provides broader context and policy commentary on the cultural invisibility of caregiving.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Yvette's Early Discovery of Her Father's Dementia

• The First Signs (00:44)

  • Yvette shares the subtle ways her father’s dementia manifested before diagnosis—such as repetitive conversations and getting lost en route to a family home he'd visited for decades.
  • Quote:
    "He had been coming to my auntie's house for 40 years...for him to call me and go, Yvette, I don't know where I am...that was like, what is happening?" – Yvette Nicole Brown (01:11)

• Taking Action (02:40)

  • Despite a career crossroads (the cancellation of "Community"), Yvette's focus was her father. She flew to Cleveland immediately after wrapping the show's season to help him.
  • Notably, her father agreed to move to Los Angeles with her for support.

The Decision to Become a Caregiver

• Choosing Family Over Career (05:00)

  • Yvette rejects the notion that putting her father in a facility would be easier. Emphasizes unity and human connection over professional opportunity.
  • Quote:
    “Family comes first. People come first…letting go of a financial opportunity…with the takeaway being that I get to be there for my father…Easy decision.” – Yvette Nicole Brown (05:40)

• Adjusting Her Work Life (08:44)

  • She navigated contractual obligations and found new work on “The Odd Couple,” which allowed more flexibility and proximity for caregiving.

Coping With The Diagnosis and Daily Realities

• Receiving the Diagnosis (10:27)

  • Getting clarity on her father's Alzheimer's both deepened her grief and galvanized her to minimize stigma and maximize his quality of life.

• The Power of Routine & Communication (11:19)

  • Yvette used chalkboard notes, reminders, and routine to keep her father oriented and secure as the disease advanced.
  • Quote:
    “Hi Dad, you’re in California. You’re okay. I’ve gone to the grocery store…I’ll be back at 2…You're totally safe. Please don’t go outside.” – Yvette Nicole Brown (11:24)

• Caregiving is Not Linear (13:02)

  • Emotional and behavioral changes in Alzheimer's can be cyclical. Yvette coped with her father's anger, seeing it as part of his struggle and always returned to compassion.

The Essential Challenge: Caring for the Caregiver

• Self-Care Neglect (14:05)
  • Yvette admits she still struggles to prioritize her own well-being despite years of caregiving. She hoards unused massage and spa certificates, unable to make time for herself.
  • Quote:
    “I still haven’t learned how to take care of myself…this many years later.” – Yvette Nicole Brown (14:05)

The Systemic & Social Context (with Ai-jen Poo)

• Cultural Invisibility of Caregiving (15:17)

  • Ai-jen Poo contextualizes caregivers’ struggles, pointing out a "workforce designed as if people never have families or caregiving responsibilities."
    • “We are a country that has no paid family medical leave policies…” (15:17)

• Personal Impact (16:19)

  • Ai-jen shares her own family’s story caring for her grandfather, whose adverse nursing home experience shaped her advocacy.
  • Memorable Story:
    “…the people who spend their entire lives caring for us…we can’t give them better options for care and dignity when they need it most?” – Ai-jen Poo (18:17)

• Policy & Cultural Shifts Needed (20:06)

  • Outlines long-term care gaps and the high personal cost for many families.
  • Emphasizes shifting from viewing caregiving as a burden to a cycle of mutual giving and receiving.

Transitioning to Professional Care

• Turning Point: Injury and Letting Go (23:59)

  • Yvette’s father broke his hip. After surgery, anesthesia worsened his dementia. Unable to provide safe care at home, she considered outside options.
  • A critical conversation with a seasoned caregiver helped her see the difference between care and love:
    • Quote:
      “Is there a chance that there’s somebody on this planet that can care for him better [than you]?...Would your father want you to be his daughter or his nurse?” – Caregiver (26:30)

• Finding a Suitable Home (28:23)

  • Yvette carefully vetted "board and care" facilities, trusting her instincts and the sensory cues of dignity and attention to find the right place.

Grief, Guilt, and Acceptance

• Guilt of the Absent Daughter (31:35)

  • Even after finding a suitable facility, Yvette speaks candidly about her ongoing guilt—no longer being within arm’s reach—even as she recognizes the care her father now receives.

• Reframing Caregiving (33:00)

  • Yvette advocates for a broader understanding of caregiving, emphasizing it as an expression of love and a universal human experience.

  • Quote:
    “Caregiving is just loving someone else sacrificially. That’s all it is. And anybody can do that. Everybody can do that.” – Yvette Nicole Brown (33:08)

  • Another powerful reflection:
    “It is the best, tough thing I’ve ever done, or the toughest, best thing I’ve ever done. But it has always been the thing that I knew that I was supposed to do…Twelve years of my life, I’ve been a caregiver. I wouldn’t change it for anything.” – Yvette Nicole Brown (34:03)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Yvette on Seeing Her Father in Decline
  "It was literally like finding Father Time...but then again, it was comforting…I’m coming in at the right time." (03:03–04:27)

• Yvette on the Sacrifices of Caregiving
  "I’ve never thought about roles I missed out on…letting go of a financial opportunity…easy decision." (05:00–06:34)

• Ai-jen Poo on Societal Choices
  “How are we going to care for the people that we love has become almost an invisible afterthought to the design of our society.” (15:17)

• Yvette on Guilt and Acceptance
  "Now when I go to visit him, I go to visit him as his daughter. I don’t have to wipe his nose. I don’t have to feed him…I do feel guilt…But I do know that who is there, they love him and care for him as well.” (30:31)

• Closing Reflection
  "We all are doing it, or we all will have to do it, or we all will have it done for us. So it's smarter for us to all make peace with it before our time comes." – Yvette Nicole Brown (33:40)

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:44–03:03 Yvette recalls the onset of her father's dementia
• 05:00–06:34 Decision to become her father's caregiver
• 08:44–09:44 Adjusting her career for caregiving
• 10:27–11:19 Emotional impact of the Alzheimer's diagnosis
• 13:02–13:54 Challenges of non-linear disease progression
• 14:05–14:56 Caregiver burnout and neglect of self-care
• 15:17–19:44 Ai-jen Poo on social and structural issues in caregiving
• 23:59–27:54 The injury that changed everything for her father; profound realization about outside care
• 28:23–31:35 Vetting care facilities and making peace with the transition
• 33:00–34:13 Defining the meaning of caregiving and personal growth

Episode Tone & Takeaways

The episode is deeply empathetic, conversational, and honest, blending heartfelt storytelling with systemic critique. Yvette Nicole Brown’s warmth, humor, and vulnerability are matched by Dr. Ungerleider’s gentle guidance and Ai-jen Poo’s policy wisdom. Together, they make a compelling case for valuing caregiving—both personally and as a society—and for honoring the brave, everyday acts that define it.

For More

Listeners interested in support, community, or more stories can check out Yvette Nicole Brown's podcast "Squeezed" and connect with Before We Go on Instagram @beforewegopodcast.