BETH'S DEAD – EP3: "I’m Begging You" (Nov 6, 2025)

Podcast: BETH'S DEAD
Hosts: Monica Padman, Elizabeth Laime, Andy Rosen
Episode Theme:
This episode dives deeper into the catastrophic consequences of a parasocial relationship gone wrong, focusing on Elizabeth's evolving and increasingly intense correspondence with a listener, "Beth." The hosts dissect the emotional journey, blurred boundaries, escalating intimacy, and the tragic culmination of their online connection. The episode also grapples with tough questions around responsibility, codependency, and the dangers of crossing lines in listener-podcaster dynamics.

Main Themes & Purpose

• Exploring how advice-giving podcasts can blur the lines between entertainment and real-life impact.
• Unpacking Elizabeth’s escalating relationship with listener Beth, highlighting how parasocial connections can spiral.
• Grappling with issues of codependency, boundaries, and the unintended emotional burden on both sides.
• Revealing, through unfolding email exchanges, the series of red flags and the tragic outcome of Beth’s life.
• Reflection on responsibility, hindsight, and the ethics of interacting with vulnerable listeners.

1. Establishing the Situation and Boundaries

Recap & Turning Point

• Monica opens by recapping a crucial moment—Elizabeth giving Beth life-changing advice about leaving her fiancé ([00:52]).
• Elizabeth admits:
  "Yeah, that was wild. I’m still surprised…how comfortable I was giving that sort of huge life advice.” ([01:09], Elizabeth)

Discussion – Boundaries With Listeners

• Andy highlights the difference between giving flippant “podcast advice” and handling intimate life crises:
  “Usually it was in a much more light-hearted way where this one…I don’t think is intimate…Not like a personal.” ([02:10], Andy)
• Elizabeth reflects on how podcasting with Andy now is fully collaborative, but back then, lives were more separate. She notes she wasn’t sharing these interactions with Andy and wonders whether she should have:
  “Even now, if I’m preoccupied with literally anything…the stupidest shit, I’m saying to you…” ([05:12], Elizabeth)
• Monica gently probes, asking if Elizabeth found satisfaction in being Beth’s go-to confidante. Elizabeth acknowledges this:
  “I was probably the only kind of big sister voice and she seemed to be leaning very heavily on me…once again, I do feel like at this point in my life, that probably felt empowering to me. And I also had two little babies…” ([04:07], Elizabeth)

2. Escalation of Intimacy: The Photo Incident

Beth’s Desperate Email & Elizabeth’s Dilemma

• Beth’s emotionally fraught plea lands in Elizabeth’s inbox, including a request for her to look at lingerie photos she fears have destroyed her engagement:

  "I really need a sane, reasonable person who isn’t too close to me or trying to sleep with me to take a look and tell me, did I do something much worse than I thought? I’m begging, please be honest…" ([05:41], Beth’s email read by Monica)

• Elizabeth candidly responds to whether she looked:
  "I did. And…kind of icky, honestly…It kind of put me in this weird position of being like, they’re fine but they’re gorgeous. What’s not fine?" ([07:00], Elizabeth)

Reflection – Crossing a Line

• With Andy and Monica probing, the group reflects on whether Elizabeth became too emotionally invested.
• Monica asks if Elizabeth is codependent. This leads to a discussion that clarifies the difference between codependency and healthy interdependency, with Monica sharing her own experience:
  "My whole day was spent thinking about it…It became my whole identity.” ([09:14], Monica on her relationship with Dax)
• Elizabeth considers if her own behavior fits and offers:
  “If Andy and I have a fight…that night, I am not sleeping…until balance is restored.” ([11:06], Elizabeth)
• She confesses feeling responsible for Beth’s emotional spirals:
  “I’ve now become a part of the twists and turns that her life has taken. And it hasn’t gone well.” ([12:10], Elizabeth)

3. The Emotional Transaction: Advice and Confessions

Beth Spirals Further — Seeking Acceptance

• Beth pleads confidentiality and forgiveness, terrified the photos render her “unfit to be a wife” ([12:42], Monica reading Beth).
• Monica narrates the rapid, real-time exchange of emails as Beth’s anxieties snowball.

Elizabeth’s Supportive Reply, But With Reservations

• Elizabeth’s response is empathetic, body-positive, and fiercely supportive:

  "Honestly, all you see that is considered taboo are your nipples, which I feel very strongly that everyone needs to get over seeing a naked boob…If he’s still shaming you just because his family is, I would honestly bounce." ([14:54], Elizabeth email)

• Monica calls it a “big swing,” and Andy observes the unintended weight private advice carries compared to public podcasting ([15:33]-[16:14]).

Blurred Boundaries & Reflexivity

• Elizabeth acknowledges, in hindsight, how the public and private lines blurred: “I kind of did…the lines between our podcast and my personal relationship with Beth got blurred.” ([17:06], Elizabeth)
• She recognizes her motivation wasn’t purely altruistic: “I think having people look up to me felt great, you know, so it’s half me, like, wanting to help her, and then I think it’s half my ego needing this little ego massage.” ([19:44], Elizabeth)

4. Intimacy Peaks: Money and the ‘Mentorship’ Trap

Monetary Gift & Emotional Impact

• Beth sends Elizabeth $1,000 via PayPal, shocking all involved:

  “Which for our…I mean, that was definitely the biggest donation we had received for our podcast…she had talked extensively about having needed money when she was younger, all that stuff. And she’s young, still young, so that seemed big.” ([24:07], Elizabeth)

• The group processes the creepiness and gratitude:
  Andy: “…this just felt like too much. Sort of.” ([25:12]) Elizabeth: “I actually thought it was a typo. Oh, and I emailed her. Oh, is that there? No, no.” ([25:19])

Beth’s Emotional Reciprocity

• Beth sends a gut-wrenching thank you, equating Elizabeth to a lifesaving maternal figure:

  “I can’t believe that people so close to me let me down. But I also can’t believe that a stranger like you was there when I needed you…” ([26:25], Monica reading Beth)

• Elizabeth, having herself lost her parents young, is deeply moved:
  “For the listeners to this show, a huge part of my life is that I lost my mom when I was still a teenager…I really…yeah.” ([27:33], Elizabeth)

5. Gender, Emotional Affairs, and Secrecy

• Andy acknowledges how gender shapes this whole conversation about emotional intimacy: “If this was with a man, I would be freaking out.” ([29:34], Andy)

• Elizabeth reflects on boundaries and not involving Andy in the email exchanges: “…I felt like I was helping this young woman who needed help. He wouldn’t have cared and so like, I didn’t need to burden him with my own shit.” ([31:04], Elizabeth)

• Monica notes the oddness of having a “secret” emotional project in marriage:
  “That is one of the weird parts now for me is this was a whole thing going on that I really didn’t know about. Not that she was necessarily hiding it…” ([32:08], Andy)

6. Red Flags and the Mounting Crisis

Beth Reveals Past Trauma and Suicidal Thoughts

• Beth shares that she has no friends locally, her fiancé broke up with her, and her most dependable support system was gone ([41:00]-[49:00]).

• Most devastatingly, Beth admits:

  “If I can be 100% honest, the last few days have been such a shock to me and hurt so much that I seriously considered ending my life over the weekend. And thank God I don't own a gun…” ([36:10], Monica reading Beth)

• Elizabeth, in hindsight, wishes she had only referred Beth to resources rather than continued private engagement:
  “…I’m horrified that we got this email where she talks about having contemplated suicide and that not only did I continue engaging with her, whereas I should have just given her resources…” ([39:06], Elizabeth)

• The hosts reflect on how ill-equipped most people are to handle confessions of suicidal ideation, and that in real time, it may not have felt as alarming as it should have:
  Monica: “...if you don’t have any experience with this, she’s saying I thought this but I’m okay now…Which is not ever really the case…” ([40:03], Monica)

7. Podcast Reframing & Community Involvement

On-air Processing of Beth’s Experience

• Clip played from a subsequent episode, in which Elizabeth reframes Beth’s harassment as part of larger misogyny and societal hypocrisy:

  “To me, what is the crux of misogyny, which is setting women up so they literally can’t win.”* ([43:14], Elizabeth)

8. Other Listener Entanglements: Natasha and Anders

Introduction of Natasha, Anders, and the Superfan Dynamic

• Natasha, a “superfan” and podcast regular, is revealed to have initiated a flirty relationship with Elizabeth over email:

  “After some obvious choices, my husband told me that you, Elizabeth, were one of his biggest crushes…we had independently come to the conclusion that you’re one sexy lady…” ([53:49], Natasha's email)

• Elizabeth acknowledges enjoying but keeping Natasha at arm’s length, seeing her as “a hardcore fan that I kind of knew to keep a little bit at arm’s length.” ([57:20], Elizabeth)

Community Web Growing

• Natasha reaches out to Beth, and soon Natasha’s husband, Anders, also becomes involved, a web of podcast fans now entwining around Beth.

9. The Tragedy Unfolds

Beth’s Final Updates

• Beth’s last emails are bleak, noting she’s “not suicidal anymore but…not exactly feeling ready to take on the world either.” ([49:06], Monica)

Catastrophic News Arrives

• Anders emails with devastating news:

  “Yesterday, Beth attempted suicide. She was comatose for a while. The doctors now seem confident that she’ll survive, but not without extreme brain damage that will likely leave her severely handicapped.”* ([58:33], Anders’ email)

• Elizabeth receives an email from someone identifying as Beth’s brother confirming the attempted suicide ([59:34]).

• The final gut punch comes:

  “Just after 4am, my amazing sister Beth passed away. We are all completely devastated. My only hope is that she is reunited with her mother. Thank you all for the love and kindness you gave to my sister.” ([61:02], Monica reading “Jason’s” email)

• Elizabeth is shattered, expressing guilt and heartbreak:
  “It’s, like, devastating. I mean, even now, it’s really hard hearing it. I mean, you heard what she meant to me and how I kind of became part of the whole journey and also maybe didn’t make all the right moves to help her. And it’s so sad…” ([60:19], Elizabeth)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Advice-Giving:
  Monica, reflecting on boundaries:

  “But I do think there’s so much thoughtful stuff in that. But I think that response is appropriate on the podcast, like us answering it on the show…It takes on a completely different character when it’s a private email.” ([16:10])

• On Blurred Lines:
  Elizabeth:

  “I kind of did…like, the lines between our podcast and my personal relationship with Beth got blurred.” ([17:06])

• On Guilt and Aftermath:
  Elizabeth:

  “I just can’t fathom just saying that and always wondering what happened to that young woman, you know?” ([33:44])

• On Parasocial Dangers:
  Monica:

  “That’s what’s interesting, right? Like, at what point do we just, like, take on this therapist role that we shouldn’t be taking on?” ([16:14])

Key Timestamps

• [00:52] – Recap of the big "leave your fiancé" advice from Elizabeth
• [05:41] – Beth’s desperate email and photo request
• [14:54] – Elizabeth’s full-throated email of support
• [24:07] – Beth sends $1,000 via PayPal
• [26:25] – Beth’s moving gratitude email—“When I needed my fiancé most, he abandoned me…can’t believe a stranger like you was there…”
• [36:10] – Beth admits to seriously considering suicide
• [58:33] – Anders emails: Beth’s suicide attempt and prognosis
• [61:02] – Email from Jason: Beth has died

Conclusion & Takeaways

• The hosts reveal how easily the lines between listener and host, fan and friend, can dissolve—with catastrophic results.
• Elizabeth’s attempt to be empathetic and supportive morphs into a high-stakes emotional entanglement she couldn’t anticipate or manage.
• The episode is a powerful warning about the risks of overstepping digital intimacy boundaries and the complexity of being “helpful” to those in deep crisis.
• It closes with a reminder on the gravity of suicidal ideation and a resource:
  “If you are having suicidal thoughts, please know you are not alone. And help is available. In the US, dial 988…”

This summary captures the flow and emotional intensity of the episode, preserving the reflective, self-critical, and open-ended tone the hosts bring to this troubling chapter in their story.