BETH’S DEAD – EP9: "Can You See Me Now"

Podcast: Beth’s Dead
Hosts: Monica Padman, Elizabeth Laime, Andy Rosen
Date: December 18, 2025

Episode Overview

This climactic episode of Beth’s Dead centers on Monica, Elizabeth, and Andy’s video call confrontation with the anonymous “catfisher” who upended their lives and podcasting careers years earlier. The conversation, tense and raw, becomes a journey through addiction, mental health, and online deception, ultimately culminating in a surprising sense of closure for all parties. The episode is as much about the personal fallout of parasocial relationships as it is about empathy, addiction, and the limits of forgiveness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reveal: Who Is the Catfisher?

• [00:34–02:30] The hosts call the person they’ve believed to be the source of years of manipulation—expecting it to be the father, only to find out it’s actually the son.
• The caller grants permission to record audio (with voice alteration for anonymity) and refuses to give his name on the show.

Elizabeth Laime: "Was not expecting that. When we heard his initial voice, I thought, it's not him. Like, holy shit." (33:05)

2. Motives and Substance Abuse

• [03:34–05:06] The catfisher admits to impersonating multiple identities (Beth, Anders, Natasha, Frank), citing a severe substance abuse problem—alcohol and daily opioids—that clouded his memory and judgment.
• He describes himself as a “high functioning alcoholic” since 17, escalating to a daily opioid habit before intersecting with the hosts’ shows.

Catfisher: "I had a really severe substance abuse problem at the time... by the time I intersected with you... I had been doing opioids every day for three years." (04:26)

• Now three years sober, he expresses deep regret.

3. Psychological Underpinnings and Parasocial Trauma

• [06:09–08:47] The catfisher discusses the loneliness and desperation that drove his actions, stating the podcast reminded him of friendships he had lost to addiction.
• He admits that writing the suicide storyline for the “Beth” character was not premeditated, but speculates it may have reflected his own state of mind, marked by self-loathing and suicidal ideation.

Catfisher: "If I ever had taken my life, you wouldn't—I wouldn't know how people felt about it... maybe I wanted to see somebody's response to that end." (07:17)

4. Escalation, Loss of Control, and Impact on Hosts

• The hosts probe the emotional high of receiving attention, the escalation and blurring of identity online, and how the removal of his comments felt like being rejected by “real friends.”
• He confesses that it never crossed his mind how frightened or alarmed his actions might have made the hosts until much later.

Catfisher: "It didn't cross my mind how much you might have freaked Andy and Elizabeth out until, you know, after the dust had settled." (14:31)

5. The Power—and Pitfalls—of Online Relationships

• [15:30–16:12] The discussion touches on the deceptive intimacy of internet interactions and the “repercussion-free” feeling that made behaviors like unsolicited flirtation seem permissible, even though they would never occur face-to-face.

Catfisher: "I would never do that to a guy's wife in person... but you feel okay doing that behind a keyboard." (15:40)

6. Elizabeth’s Perspective & Unanswered Questions

• [17:53–22:48] Elizabeth joins the conversation, expressing her shock at the true identity and voicing lingering questions—about the $1,000 donation, the intent behind urging her to call a number, and the emotional debts implied through “brother” messages.
• The catfisher, foggy about many details, reiterates his lack of planning and deep remorse.

Elizabeth: "What was your plan going to be if I had called the number that you kept telling me to call?"
Catfisher: "I didn't have a plan. I was a fucking idiot... I obviously shouldn't have done that." (21:05–21:34)

7. Life After: Recovery and Fear for the Future

• The catfisher now lives alone, attends Narcotics Anonymous, and voices worries about ever having a family due to guilt and fear of relapse (23:02–23:39).

Catfisher: "I'm a little scared. Stuff like this... make me think I might not be good for a family if I ever relapse." (23:05)

8. The Catfisher’s Complete Confession

• He confirms he never repeated this behavior with anyone else and never contacted the hosts after the police intervention.
• Names like Beth were based on real acquaintances, but “Frank” and other personas were simply manifestations of his distress and trolling without any political or malicious intent (29:09–31:08).

9. Reflections and Closure

• [33:01–43:16] After the call, the hosts process the unexpected turn, overwhelmed by compassion, relief, and a sense of closure.
• Monica, Elizabeth, and Andy highlight the lessons in empathy, the dangers of dehumanization on both sides of parasocial relationships, and the healing power of honest conversation.

Elizabeth: "There's something maybe poetic about all of this—that what catfishing is is sort of not seeing people as human. And in some ways, we did that... That conversation was, like, not just for him to see... humans on the other side. It was for us to see a human on the other side." (35:20)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On addiction’s ripple effect:

  "You're shitty to the people around you when you're an addict, but you don't think you're gonna hurt people you don't even know and that you think highly of."
  — Catfisher (12:04)

• On the emotional aftermath:

  "I do feel like I have, like, a huge sense of closure... I feel like a huge weight has lifted."
  — Elizabeth (33:41–33:53)

• On forgiveness and compassion:

  "I'm walking away with, like, so much compassion. And it feels very, like, full circle to me."
  — Elizabeth (35:08)

• On the fundamental lesson:

  "Accountability in any relationship is, like, what you do flippantly might have such a massive impact on the other person and you don't even know."
  — Monica (41:28)

Important Timestamps

• [00:34] – Start of call; expecting the “professor,” realize it’s the son
• [03:54] – Catfisher admits to all personas
• [04:26] – Details of addiction and substance abuse
• [06:09] – Motivation for starting the deception; desire for connection
• [07:17] – On inventing the suicide narrative
• [12:04] – Deep regret and inability to listen to their podcasts anymore
• [17:53] – Elizabeth joins to ask her questions
• [21:05] – The $1,000 donation and the unplanned phone call
• [23:02] – Catfisher’s life now and uncertainty about the future
• [29:39] – Odd behavior as “Frank” in the comments; reflections on trolling
• [33:01] – Hosts' emotional post-call debrief
• [35:20] – Realizations about the meaning of catfishing and humanization

Tone & Takeaways

The episode maintains a vulnerable, candid, and ultimately empathetic tone. There are painful admissions, genuine apologies, and a cathartic sense of relief as the mystery is unwound—not with anger, but with understanding on both sides. The exchange spotlights the dangers of unchecked online intimacy but also the possibilities of radical honesty and grace in encounters with those who have done harm.

Beth’s Dead Episode 9 stands out as a restorative, thought-provoking meditation on forgiveness, addiction, and the complicated humanity behind every digital interaction.

For Listeners:

This episode is a must-listen if you’ve followed the series, but just as powerful as a standalone look at the shadowy side of online fandom and the often surprising path to healing wounds left in the digital dark.