April | Betrayal Weekly

Summary

Betrayal: Weekly – April | Betrayal Weekly (Dec 4, 2025)

Episode Overview

This gripping episode of Betrayal Weekly, hosted by Andrea Gunning, delves into the harrowing true story of April—an adopted church girl whose entire world is shattered when she discovers the horrifying double life of her husband, Joe. Through first-hand narrative and reflection, April recounts a journey that begins with faith, music, and love, and ends in a web of deception, suspicion, and ultimately, betrayal on the most devastating level.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

April’s Upbringing and Values

• Adopted at six weeks old, April recounts her close relationship with her parents and a deep sense of belonging despite her adoption ([03:14], [03:42]).
• Faith and music formed the bedrock of her life, giving her both purpose and community ([03:34], [04:04]).
• Quote:
  "I have a fierce sense of wanting people to feel like they belong. Being adopted... you want people to know they have a place."
  — April ([03:42])

Meeting Joe: Romance and Red Flags

• April meets Joe at church while preparing to move to Australia for music leadership school ([05:03]-[06:17]).
• Although Joe is persistent in pursuing April, she initially resists, focusing on her dreams ([07:56]-[08:16]).
• Their romance develops during her year abroad, maintained through daily phone calls, deepening their connection ([11:15]).
• Quote:
  "He made life fun... I was always so serious, and he had the ability to really make me laugh and enjoy the moment."
  — April ([11:35])

Marriage and Building a Life

• Upon returning, Joe proposes in a dramatic fashion, and the two quickly wed despite lingering doubts from April’s father ([12:54]-[14:30]).
• Early marriage brings the challenges of cohabitation, shifting responsibilities, and subtle power imbalances—April finds herself doing all the housework ([19:46]-[20:22]).
• Joe’s displays of affection continue, allowing April to rationalize the imbalances ([20:22]-[20:53]).
• Quote:
  "He was still bringing me flowers just because... Just little things, it's still very thoughtful."
  — April ([20:31])

Family Blending and Increasing Tension

• Joe’s children from his first marriage come to live with them at various times, causing emotional and financial strain, especially as Joe falls into unemployment and drinking ([21:40]-[22:36]).
• April becomes the sole breadwinner, leading to growing frustration and eventual ultimatums in the marriage.

Odd Behavior and Early Warnings

• Joe immerses himself in volunteering at church, including interacting with youth and young women—sometimes raising April's suspicion, but he always has logical explanations ([23:28]-[24:04]).
• Volunteering at a horse rescue, Joe begins spending time alone with a teenage girl, culminating in an incident that crosses unspoken boundaries and alarms April and others ([25:55]-[27:45]).
• Quote:
  "All the volunteers saw Joe pulling up with this teenage girl in his car. The girl's mom put her foot down..."
  — Andrea Gunning ([27:34]-[27:45])

Lies, Gaslighting, and Disintegrating Trust

• Joe claims to get a new job, but April discovers he’s faking it, leading to intense gaslighting and psychological manipulation ([29:02]-[30:18]).
• Quote:
  "He could make me feel like I was going insane. I legitimately had moments where I was like, am I losing my mind?"
  — April ([29:57])

A New Start and the Sudden Fall

The Police Investigation Begins

• Out of nowhere, police arrive with a search warrant, seizing all electronics and Joe’s work vehicle; April is left in shock and confusion ([32:34]-[34:07]).

• Joe is put on administrative leave from the driving school, and April is left to figure out what’s happening ([35:20]-[36:22]).

• They try to resume life, moving into a new home in hope of a fresh start ([36:34]-[36:57]).

The Arrest

• On a seemingly normal morning drive, Joe calmly tells April he thinks he’s about to be arrested ([37:06]).
• Within moments, police cars stop them, and Joe is arrested without much resistance ([37:19]-[37:54]).
• Detectives inform April of the horrifying charges: 32 counts of child molestation, involving 11 girls—10 of them minors ([38:29]).
• Quote:
  "She proceeds to tell me they have been investigating him for child molestation... 32 counts, 11 girls, 10 under the age of 18."
  — April ([38:29])

The Devastating Truth Emerges

The Evidence

• Detectives reveal they found a hidden camera under Joe’s steering column, used to record his victims—footage was later found on his computer ([42:37]).
• Joe’s “safety” camera, which April bought for him, was a tool for his abuse ([43:07]-[43:27]).
• Quote:
  "He was sexually abusing young girls who were his driving students. He did it while they were driving... videotaped the attacks."
  — Andrea Gunning ([43:27])

Community and Media Fallout

• Within hours of the arrest, Joe’s charges are on the news. April is bombarded by calls, and the reality of her husband’s crimes becomes public knowledge ([45:46]).
• April’s interactions with a victim’s mother in court underscore the shared devastation between victims’ families and those who unknowingly loved and trusted Joe ([47:12]-[47:49]).
• Quote:
  "I looked at her, and I just started crying. I said, I am so sorry... She hugged me and said, I know, and it’s gonna be okay."
  — April ([47:49])

Aftermath, Grief, and Survival

• April discovers further finances were being misused—money meant for their anniversary cruise was instead used to pay and possibly bribe victims ([51:07]-[51:54]).
• Joe pleads guilty and is sentenced to five years, with the number of known victims rising to 18 by the episode’s end ([55:43]).
• In her final face-to-face with Joe, April finds him completely remorseless and emotionally detached ([52:15]-[53:36]).
• Quote:
  "He just very calmly and quizzically looked at me. He said, but why would they continue to refer me?... There was something seriously disconnected, something seriously wrong with him."
  — April ([52:35]-[53:11])

Healing and Hope

• April’s community rallies around her, friends moving in so she wouldn’t be alone, and therapy becomes a lifeline ([53:36]-[54:19]).
• She grieves multiple losses—her marriage, her identity, and her sense of safety—but is determined to build a new life ([54:23]-[56:06]).
• Quote:
  "I’m finding a whole new sense of freedom... My home is my sanctuary now."
  — April ([56:06])
• She expresses deep empathy for Joe’s victims and a commitment to never allow him back into her life ([55:20]-[55:55]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Some people have the uncanny ability to hide the deepest, darkest parts of themselves from those that are closest to them, and sometimes maybe even from themselves.” (April, [57:07])
• “There’s no way to ever really truly know a person, and I just have to resign myself to the fact that this was a part of him that he was never going to allow anyone to see until it was too late.” (April, [57:29])
• “If I had known, I would have done everything within my power to stop it.” (April, [55:20])

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Major Timestamps

• Beginnings and relationship: 03:03 – 14:30
• Early red flags, family life, and career: 19:27 – 24:31
• Joe’s odd behaviors and strained trust: 25:38 – 30:51
• Police search and unraveling: 32:34 – 34:22
• The arrest: 37:06 – 38:29
• Truth and aftermath: 41:28 – 54:06
• Final reflections and healing: 54:06 – 57:40

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Summary & Impact

April’s story is a devastating, clear-eyed account of betrayal by someone closest to her, from the slow slide into suspicion and gaslighting to the ultimate, unthinkable revelation of Joe's crimes. The episode is a testament not only to the capacity people have for deception, but also to April’s resilience in rebuilding a life of peace and fulfillment after unimaginable trauma.

Her closing reflections serve as caution and comfort for listeners: even when darkness intrudes, survival and hope are possible when we turn to our communities and dare to face hard truths.

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Why April Shared Her Story

• To break isolation for others: “To hear experiences that so closely mirror your own... I suddenly realized that I wasn’t alone.” ([56:54])
• To spotlight the unknowability of others: “Some people have the uncanny ability to hide the deepest, darkest parts of themselves from those that are closest to them...” ([57:07])
• To offer empathy and apology to the victims: “If any of them ever listen, I would say that I’m so sorry. If I had known, I would have done everything within my power to stop it.” ([55:20])

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End of summary.

Transcript

[April]

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[April]

We pull out of our house.

We get about two blocks from the old house and he looks at me and he says, I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.

Within seconds of that coming out of his mouth, the squad car lit us up and pulled us over.

[Andrea Gunning]

I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything.

Today we're sharing April's story. Growing up in San Diego, April was extremely close to her parents. She'd been adopted by them when she was six weeks old. Her dad was her best friend.

[April]

I was definitely a tomboy growing up. And so my joke had always been that I was the son my dad never had. I know how to change a spark plug on my car and all of the things within the engine.

[Andrea Gunning]

They had a typical middle class suburban life. Religion and faith were the foundation of their family.

[April]

I was born and raised in the church. I grew up with Christian values.

[Andrea Gunning]

Church gave April purpose and community.

[April]

I have a fierce sense of wanting people to feel like they belong. Being adopted you deal with trauma in the sense that you were almost rejected from birth. So I want people to know that they belong, that they have a place.

[Andrea Gunning]

The church also fed April's passion for music.

[April]

My mom got me into piano lessons at an early age and so I always played at church.

[Andrea Gunning]

Her parents marriage was her model of a healthy, happy relationship. Their love was a positive example of commitment.

[April]

Even now, after 50 some odd years, half the time they're acting like newlyweds. That's what I wanted. That was the vision of marriage.

[Andrea Gunning]

Growing up, April knew she wanted a relationship like theirs.

[April]

In high school I had a boyfriend and I was very much a one person girl. So once I was with someone, that was it. Like I had blinders on. They were my person.

[Andrea Gunning]

She also had a vision for her career. Her passion was music. She wanted to play in symphony hall and of course church.

[April]

I want to lead people in worship. I want to be in a big worship team.

[Andrea Gunning]

In January of 2003, April was accepted into the Hillsong Church's leadership school in Sydney, Australia. For April, it was a life changing opportunity.

[April]

My intention was to go to school in Australia, meet an Australian, marry him and live in Sydney. That was my whole plan, that was my goal. I was not looking to date anyone here. I had no intentions of even coming back to the country.

[Andrea Gunning]

She was looking forward to starting over and started preparing for her move to Australia.

But one Wednesday night, April was setting up to lead worship when someone caught her eye.

[April]

He was a good looking guy, tall, blonde, blue eyes. And I was like, who is this guy? Like I'd never seen him before, didn't know who he was.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was uncommon for a stranger to be hanging out before service. He was chatting with a woman April had known for years.

[April]

And so I walked down to just say hi to this lady and she said, april, this is my son Joe.

[Andrea Gunning]

So this was Joe. April had heard about him before, but she had pictured him differently. April knew his mom well. His mom had told April about how Joe got in trouble in Texas. He'd gotten involved with a group of guys that were a bad Influence on him. Joe had just moved to San Diego hoping for a fresh start.

[April]

He was coming out here to start over. I remember looking at him and shaking his hand and having the thought of, wow, he's got the most gentle eyes I've ever seen. It took me by surprise.

[Andrea Gunning]

She went about her business that evening, not thinking much of it. As she started soundcheck that night, their sound engineer was nowhere to be found. As the service grew closer, April started to panic.

[April]

Next thing I know, I look in the back of the room at the sound booth and Joe's in the sound booth, and I look at my guitar player and I was like, what is he doing? My guitar player looks back there and he is like, oh, that's Joe. Don't worry about it. He knows what he's doing. He helped build the sound system years ago.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joe saved the day.

[April]

It was just a welcome surprise. And after that point, Joe became our sound man.

[Andrea Gunning]

Once a month, the worship team would go out to dinner.

[April]

Anytime that we would do that, he would make it a point to sit right next to me and talk with me. We talked a lot about God and our relationship with God, and we got to be good friends.

[Andrea Gunning]

As they got closer, it became clear that Joe was interested in a romantic relationship.

[April]

He would say, hey, can we go grab a cup of coffee or a slice of pie? And my response was always like, no, I'm good. We can go hang out with the worship team. Like, we can go to dinner with the team or with our friends. But I was dead set against doing any one on one dating with him.

[Andrea Gunning]

April did not want to complicate things with her team. Plus, she was planning to leave for Australia in a matter of months.

[April]

I knew that he had been previously married and had kids from his first marriage.

[Andrea Gunning]

Despite her rejections, Joe was persistent.

[April]

When I was sick, he would just show up at my house with a bowl of soup and a get well card.

[Andrea Gunning]

And as time went on, his gestures became more romantic.

[April]

He would send me flowers for no reason. He would send little notes just to say hi, like a good morning message. So I would wake up and there would be an email from him saying, good morning, beautiful.

[Andrea Gunning]

It made her feel special. But April was still planning to move to Australia for Hillsong. The night before her flight, she had to record a tape of her vocal range. Jo offered to help make the recording.

[April]

And so I ran through all my scales, ran through, you know, all sorts of different vocal exercises for him to record.

[Andrea Gunning]

Once they were done recording, April and Joe packed up their things and made Their way to the parking lot. She would be gone for a year. It was hard to say goodbye.

[April]

He and I were standing by the cars, just chatting. And as we're talking, all of a sudden, I just kissed him.

Like there was no thought to it. I just leaned in and kissed him.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was so out of character for April.

[April]

She surprised herself, and I was just shaking. I was like, I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I did that. And then the next thing I know, he's kissing me. It was one of those kisses that just kind of made your knees buckle.

[Andrea Gunning]

The kiss was electric in part because they both knew April was about to leave the country.

[April]

And then he was like, you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm good. Like, we're good. And I said, I don't know what's going to happen because I am leaving, but we'll stay in touch.

[Andrea Gunning]

The next morning, I got on a.

[April]

Plane and went to Sydney.

[Andrea Gunning]

When she got there, she jumped right into school. Hillsong College is well known for their worship and vocational courses. For April, being there was a dream come true.

[April]

They had this program where you would get all the music theory, learn about worship history, music history within the church itself, as well as leadership training. I loved every moment of it. Lived, breathed, ate school.

[Andrea Gunning]

April thought that when she arrived in Sydney, she'd forget about Joe, but she didn't. She found her thoughts drifting to him and what he was doing. Back in San Diego, he was working.

[April]

At 711 and using his money to get phone cards. So every single day, he was calling me. So we spent a lot of time on the phone, which forced us to really learn how to communicate with each.

[Andrea Gunning]

Other on those long phone calls. They learned a lot about each other. In many ways, they were opposites.

[April]

I was always so serious, and he had the ability to really make me laugh and. And just enjoy the moment. He made life fun.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joe helped her relax. For the whole year she was in Australia, their attraction evolved. The distance brought them even closer. When April flew back to the States, Joe surprised her by picking her up at the airport.

[April]

We're driving back and he pulls off at this rest stop, and it's a beautiful overlook that overlooks the Pacific Ocean. In San Diego, it was a beautiful day, like, the sun was shining. He's standing behind me with his arms around me, and we're just talking, and he's pointing out into the water. And he was like, can you see that boat out there? And I was like, no, I don't see the boat. He's like, take a moment, close your eyes. And when you open your eyes, I want you to fixate on where my fingers are pointing. I'm like, okay, got it. And so I'm standing there with my eyes closed, and then he says, okay, open them.

And when I do, his hand is in front of me with a ring box. And this beautiful marquee cut diamond ring is in the middle of it.

[Andrea Gunning]

April stared at Joe dumbfounded.

[April]

And he's like, would you marry me? And I said, yes. You know, I'm in love with this guy. And he has spent so much time talking to me while I've been gone. And it just felt right. I was so happy, and I just. I had felt so safe and loved that it was like, yeah, this is my person.

[Andrea Gunning]

Because they had gotten to know each other from afar, their love story unfolded in a backwards way.

[April]

After the proposal, we go on our first official date, we went to Finding Nemo.

[Andrea Gunning]

Even though they didn't have a lot of money, they found ways to have dates and just enjoy each other's company.

[April]

We would go for a walk on the beach, or we would go someplace and just kind of sit and have coffee together. Anything that we could do cheaply, we would do. Going and splitting a meal somewhere, we took opportunity to just try and spend time together when we could. It was just our own little world at the time.

[Andrea Gunning]

They met each other's families and talked about what they wanted for their future. Joe had three kids from his first marriage. They lived with their mom out of state. Joe didn't want any more kids. And April was on the same page.

[April]

Kids were never something that I really thought about.

[Andrea Gunning]

What mattered more to April was how her parents saw Joe. Her mom embraced him right away, but her dad was reluctant.

[April]

My dad was a bit harder of a nut to crack. He was always suspicious of him.

There were stories that Joe would tell and my dad would just be like, something doesn't add up.

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After dating long distance between California and Australia, April and Joe got engaged. They were thrilled. But April's dad had some reservations about Joe. He gave him a pass because his daughter loved him. And In May of 2004, April and Joe got married.

[April]

I didn't want anything elaborate. I just wanted a simple wedding. And we had the wedding at a local hotel that had just opened up their wedding garden. Our friends and family were there. It was beautiful.

[Andrea Gunning]

They wrote their own vows.

[April]

It wasn't the typical, you know, I'm going to love, honor and obey you. It was, I want to support who you are as a person and who God has created you to be.

[Andrea Gunning]

After the wedding, the couple moved into their first apartment. It was the first time April lived with a partner. In fact, it was a time of a lot of firsts.

[April]

I'd never been with a man, period. Like, I'd never had sex until him. So he was my first. So there was a little bit of, am I doing things right? Am I pleasing him? Am I making him happy? I can remember the first year, I would wake up in the middle of the night and almost freak out because there was a boy in my bed.

[Andrea Gunning]

After 30 years of being independent, it was a big adjustment to live with a man.

April quickly realized, I'm doing all the.

[April]

Dishes, I'm doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking the trash out.

[Andrea Gunning]

She also noticed a pattern. Whenever she confronted Joe, he would step.

[April]

Up for a couple of weeks. He would take the trash out without me asking. He would clean up his own dishes. And then it would slowly slip back into me taking care of everything again.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was disappointing. But Joe was still the same guy she'd fallen in love with. He always took time to make her feel seen.

[April]

He was still bringing me flowers just because if I had a rough day, we would go grab a pizza from the pizza place on the corner. Just little things that it was like, okay, it's still very thoughtful. And yeah, we've got this, this tension of I'm doing everything, but he's still taking care of me.

[Andrea Gunning]

Eventually, the couple both found jobs at a local ministry. Joe worked in their video department.

[April]

He was editing videos and getting everything ready to go on to actual tv. I worked in the prayer center and it was where people could call in that Needed, needed prayer and they could get a hold of a live person that would take time to sit and listen to them and just pray with them and talk with them.

[Andrea Gunning]

In 2009, five years into their marriage, Joe got a call from his first wife. She needed support with the kids and she asked if Joe's teenage son could come live with them. April agreed. She welcomed him into their home and into their family.

[April]

He was a great kid. He really wasn't any trouble. And he lived with us through his entire high school years and played football for the high school and all that. The kid was tender hearted. He just wanted to do right.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was a really successful arrangement. A few years later, Joe's daughter came to stay with them as well. However, it was a lot more challenging. Joe's daughter was going through a difficult time and Joe was too.

[April]

He had been through bouts of unemployment before, but it was while she was here that he went through the longest period of unemployment of about two years. And so during that time, I'm the sole breadwinner. Joe began to drink and his drinking was escalating.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was too much pressure on April to support the whole family.

[April]

I told him that I was done. I couldn't do this anymore.

[Andrea Gunning]

They weren't able to provide Joe's daughter with the support she needed, so she went home to Texas. Joe was upset. He felt like he failed his daughter and in the process lost her too.

To cope, Joe threw himself into his job working for their church where he was running sound and helping them upgrade their audio visual capabilities. Their church wanted to start live streaming their service so members of the congregation could watch from home.

[April]

He was trying to help our church get up on live streaming, so he would log on to this website that had all these various different live streams.

[Andrea Gunning]

On these live streaming sites, Joe would sometimes help other church members troubleshoot any technical difficulties.

[April]

I would notice that every once in a while he would be chatting with young girls, not necessarily teenage girls, but maybe early 20s, and I would ask him, what are you doing? He's like, oh, I'm trying to help them get their streaming correct because their camera's fuzzy.

He could make it sound so logical and so reasonable.

[Andrea Gunning]

It seemed a little odd to April, but she believed Joe. He had always been one to help out the kids at church, and he took a special interest in mentoring youth.

At our church.

[April]

We had had a couple of guys come in at one point that were following some of the young girls around the church. And Joe, he was the one that clocked it and went in to leadership and was like, these guys need to go. What they're doing is sketchy. He'd always been that guy, protective of girls, protective of youth.

[Andrea Gunning]

April was proud of how Joe stood up for their young church members. Years passed, and April and Joe's relationship steadied. They were involved in church together. They kept watching their favorite sports teams and hung out with friends. The world they built together felt comfortable and grounding.

Eventually, April and Joe felt like they needed something to break up their usual routine. They wanted to give back to their community and spend time outdoors together. So they decided to volunteer at a horse rescue near their house. They each took on regular chores at the barn.

[April]

He was feeding the horses in the early mornings or in the evenings, and I was involved in helping with some of the training.

This was just a real place of bliss for me and for him. Having grown up in the country in Texas, he was loving it because it just felt like he'd found home as well.

[Andrea Gunning]

They started getting to know the community at the horse rescue, including a woman and her teenage daughter that lived on the property.

[April]

The daughter would end up feeding on weekends by herself at night. And they'd had a couple of instances of people trespassing at night that were kind of scary.

And so Joe volunteered to feed with her.

[Andrea Gunning]

She was about the same age as his daughter. April suspected Joe was projecting some of his concern for his own daughter onto this girl at the barn.

[April]

And then there was one day where she needed to go pick up a piece of equipment that her dad was giving her.

So Joe offered to take her and one of her girlfriends to go to her dad's and haul it back.

They left early in the morning, and I spent the day there on the ranch.

[Andrea Gunning]

April was taking a break from barn chores when she saw one of the two teenage girls wandering up towards the stable.

[April]

I was like, oh, hey, you're back. And she was like, what do you mean? I said, oh, well, didn't you go with Joe and the other girl? And she was like, no. They left before I even got here.

[Andrea Gunning]

It made April uncomfortable that Joe was alone with a teenage girl.

[April]

I tried calling him multiple times. He never answered. It was getting to be about 6 o' clock in the evening, and just him and the girl pull up.

I take one look at him, and I'm just livid. Like, I'm so angry.

[Andrea Gunning]

But Joe seemed completely unbothered. He walked up to the barn like nothing happened.

[April]

I grab him and I pull him to the side. I'm like, what is wrong with you? He's like, what do you mean? I said, do you have any idea? You just spent all day with a teenage girl alone in a vehicle.

[Andrea Gunning]

April made it known Joe had broken an unspoken rule. All the volunteers saw Joe pulling up with this teenage girl in his car. The girl's mom agreed.

[April]

Her mom put her foot down and was like, you can no longer spend time with my daughter.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joe was hurt by this. He felt like he was being judged.

[April]

He was emotionally upset about not being able to spend time with her. I rationalized it is that he took this other girl and put her in the place of his daughter. So it was like he was losing his daughter all over again.

[Andrea Gunning]

Around this time, their church moved into a new space and downsized their staff. Joe lost his job. He was really struggling. After searching for a while, he landed a job working for a doctor who had a medical TV show on a local network.

[April]

I had seen that show, and I was like, oh, yeah, I know who that doctor is. That's pretty cool.

[Andrea Gunning]

On the morning of Joe's first day, the couple got ready for work together.

[April]

We both got in our cars. He was behind me. I went one way, and he should have turned left at the next light. And I watched him turn right at the next light instead of left.

[Andrea Gunning]

April had a sinking feeling, so I.

[April]

Asked him about it. When I got home, I said, hey, I saw you turn back towards. Towards the house. And he was like, oh, yeah, I forgot something. So I had to go back home and get it.

[Andrea Gunning]

But April was skeptical.

[April]

Mm. Mm. Nope, Something's not right. For a week, he did this. He got up, got dressed, left with me, and went right back home.

[Andrea Gunning]

April was convinced that Joe's new job was completely fake.

[April]

Sure enough, within a week, he's telling me that the doctor's son was. Was going to take his job, and so he didn't have a job again.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was unsettling. Now April was on guard, trying to discern if Joe was telling the truth. It was starting to affect her sense of certainty and trust.

[April]

He could make me feel like I was going insane. I legitimately had moments where I was like, am I losing my mind? He would tell me that. I didn't say things that I knew for a fact I said. But then he had me second guessing myself because it was like, well, did I say that? Maybe I didn't say that.

[Andrea Gunning]

April knew that she shouldn't feel this way, but being honest about her concerns felt like poking a sleeping beast.

[April]

I didn't know how to deal with the confrontation that would come from it. And I Was afraid. I was afraid of what would come out. I didn't know how else to move forward other than to just bury it and move on.

[Andrea Gunning]

April was fighting to regain a sense of stability in their relationship. Top of the list was getting Joe a new job. And April had an idea.

[April]

I kept seeing these ads for driving instructors, and I used to joke with him that I never wanted to drive with him because he always told me what I was doing wrong. And so I was like, you should check that out. You love driving, and you do love teaching.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joe took her advice and reached out to the driving school.

[April]

He went through their training program with the owner. You have to do so many hours of in car training with another instructor, background check. And so he started teaching kids how to drive cars, and he loved it.

[Andrea Gunning]

And April was finding her stride at work, too.

[April]

Around the same time that he got his job, I started working for my dream company. I'm an executive business partner and executive assistant. It's almost more of a chief of staff type role, you know? So it was like. It felt like things were finally turning around. I was making good money. He was making good money. He had a steady job. He had found something that he absolutely was loving. He would come home at night, just lit up, like, so excited to talk about who he had taught and what he had taught. And watching the light bulb of understanding go off with these kids, it just felt like we had finally reached a point where it was like, maybe we're gonna be okay.

I felt like I could suddenly start breathing. I didn't realize that I had been living, holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[Andrea Gunning]

One day, April headed into the office early to prepare for an event with her company's CEO.

[April]

And as I'm pulling into our parking garage at the office.

I get a ring alert on my phone from our doorbell camera. And I was like, well, that's weird. So I pull up the camera, and I see about six police officers at my front door.

I completely freak out, because it's like, what is happening?

[Andrea Gunning]

She immediately called Joe.

[April]

It rang and rang, and then it went to voicemail. And I don't know what to do. I just kept trying to call him over and over again.

[Andrea Gunning]

Stunned, April began to drive home to figure out what was going on.

[April]

He finally calls me and tells me that police officers and two detectives showed up with a search warrant, and they were taking all of the electronics, the computers, iPads, Apple watch. They took his work vehicle. They were seizing all of it.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joe told April to wait to come home because he didn't want her car to get seized, too. So April pulled over at a nearby coffee shop and waited. Finally, Joe called her and said it was okay for her to come home. But home was far from a comforting sight.

[April]

The house is just trashed. Everything is pulled out from the bookshelves. Tables are moved into the middle of the room. Laundry baskets are upended onto the bed. Everything is just torn apart.

[Andrea Gunning]

In the middle of their upended home stood Joe.

[April]

He's very calm. And I asked him, I was like, did they tell you what is this about? And he was like, no, they didn't tell me anything. They just said that they had a search warrant. But the search warrant doesn't say what the allegations are. It doesn't say anything.

[Andrea Gunning]

April's mind was spinning, trying to make sense of the unsettling scene she found herself in.

[April]

Logically, I'm thinking, okay, they took his work vehicle. So I told him, I said, obviously, it has to do with your job. They took your car. So can you think of anything that you might have done? Because sometimes he would come home and say, yeah, one of my students just. She totally had an anxiety attack and, like, broke down crying in the car kind of thing. Like, did you maybe hug one of your students? Because, you know, they were upset, and he was like, no, no, nothing. I can't think of anything.

[Andrea Gunning]

But the fallout was immediate.

[April]

He gets put on administrative leave from the company.

[Andrea Gunning]

April and Joe were desperate to understand what the police were doing at their house.

[April]

We made the decision to hire a pretrial attorney to see if we could get any information on what the allegations were or what we could do.

[Andrea Gunning]

In the weeks that followed, April kept pressing Joe. Surely he had to have some inkling of what was going on.

[April]

I was constantly asking him, is there anything? Can you see, think of anything?

[Andrea Gunning]

But every time, the answer was no. And April wanted to believe him. Everything had been going well since Joe started his job as a driving instructor.

[April]

He had never once indicated that there was anything on his job that was of concern. He had never told me anything other than that he was referred all the time to other students.

[Andrea Gunning]

April was out of ideas. All she could do was wait for answers.

In the meantime, April and Joe decided to move. Their house had started feeling too small.

[April]

So we started looking for houses, and I found one about three miles north of where we had been living that I just fell in love with. So we signed a lease.

[Andrea Gunning]

Slowly, they started moving boxes to their new house, and they ordered new furniture, too. This place would be a fresh start.

[April]

It was January 11th. He was driving me to work. We pull out of our house.

We get about two blocks from the old house, and he looks at me and he says, I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.

[Andrea Gunning]

April snapped around to face him.

[April]

I was like, why would you say that? And he goes, well, when we pulled out from the house, two vehicles pulled in behind us, and then a marked police vehicle pulled in behind those two cars.

Within seconds of that coming out of his mouth, the squad car lit us up and pulled us over.

[Andrea Gunning]

April was frantic, but oddly, Joe wasn't. It seemed like he knew this moment would come.

[April]

He just very calmly handed me his cell phone, put his hands on the steering wheel, turned the car off, and a uniformed officer comes up to the driver's side door, tells him to unlock the door. He gets out of the car, and I'm just sitting there very quietly freaking out. I still have no idea what is going on.

[Andrea Gunning]

Finally, two detectives came to the passenger side door where April sat. One of them leaned over to talk with her.

[April]

That's when she proceeds to tell me they have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18.

[Andrea Gunning]

This holiday season, you can help your child write their own magical story. One built on freedom, trust, and that first unforgettable ride. Introducing Guardian Bikes. The easiest, safest, and quickest way for kids to learn to ride. No tears and no training wheels needed. That's why Guardian is America's favorite kids bike and the New York Times and Wirecutter's top pick three years in a row. And because every frame is crafted right here in America, you're not just giving a gift. You're supporting the people who build it. This holiday season, give a gift that lasts far beyond the wrapping paper. Visit guardianbikes.com to save up to 40% off on all bikes, plus a free $100 accessory bundle with every order. Guardian Bikes, the story of their first ride starts here.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So let me get this straight. Your company has data here, there, and everywhere, but your AI can't use the data because it's here, there, and everywhere? Seems like something's missing. Every business has unique data. IBM helps your AI access your data wherever it lives. To change how you do business, let's create Smarter Business. IBM.

[Andrea Gunning]

Making the holidays magical for everyone on your list, it's no small feat, but with TJ Maxx, your magic multiplies with quality finds. Arriving daily through Christmas Eve, you'll Save on luxe cashmere, the latest tech toys and more. So you can check off every name on your list and treat yourself to a holiday look that'll turn heads. Now you know where to go to make all that holiday magic. It's TJ Maxx.

[April]

Of course.

[Andrea Gunning]

It's shaping up to be a very magical holiday. Did a GLP1 help you lose weight? But now you're noticing unwanted facial changes. The weight came off, but facial volume loss and dull sagging skin are making you look older. That's where the next phase of your weight loss journey comes in. There's before weight loss, after weight loss, and the after. After. Help restore and refresh your facial skin and reclaim your natural looking youthful glow. To learn more, visit face afterweightloss.com that's faceafterweightloss.com.

One day, when Joe was driving April to work, he turned to her and calmly told her that he was about to be arrested. Moments later, the cops pulled him over and took him out of the car, leaving April alone in the passenger seat, terrified and confused. Finally, a detective told April what her husband was being arrested for.

[April]

They have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18.

I just went numb. My entire system went into shock.

[Andrea Gunning]

April didn't want to believe the detective's words. She had long ago come to terms with her husband's flaws, but she never imagined him to be a dangerous person.

[April]

In my head, I was like, he might be a liar. He might be a lousy husband. He might be lazy. He might be all these things. He's not a child predator.

[Andrea Gunning]

But then the detective explained to April.

[April]

What they found when they took his vehicle. Hidden underneath the steering column, they found a small camera that would allow him to video and take pictures of girls and their private areas and that they have proof of it on his computer.

[Andrea Gunning]

The evidence was irrefutable, and there was a lot of it. Then the detective began to ask April questions.

[April]

She's like, did you ever purchase a camera for the car? And I said, yeah, we did. And she goes, what did he tell you about that camera? And I said, just that he wanted to have a camera in the vehicle to protect not only himself, but to protect the people that he was teaching to drive.

[Andrea Gunning]

When Joe said he was using that camera for safety, April believed him. But in reality, the camera was part of Joe's twisted crimes. He'd been sexually abusing young girls who were his Driving students. He did it while they were driving. His driver's ed car was a trap for the girls defending themselves. Even just taking their hands off the wheel could mean risking their life. On top of that, Joe videotaped the attacks and saved those videos to his personal, personal devices so he could re watch them.

Once one girl came forward, it was like a dam broke.

April was in shock, and the detective could see that. She told April that she would follow up with her in a few days time.

The police drove away with Joe in the backseat. April sat in her car, the silence ringing in her ears. She didn't want to be alone with her thoughts, so she started making calls.

[April]

I made a phone call to the attorney, told him what happened. I tried calling my dad, I tried calling my parents, and they weren't awake yet. Then I call a friend of mine, and I'm like, I need you and your husband to come help me because I don't know what to do. And I need somebody here that can think because I can't think right now. So they met me at the new house, and I felt like I was spending the day just in limbo. I'm waiting to hear anything from Joe or the attorney. I'm waiting to hear from my pastor. I'm just waiting.

[Andrea Gunning]

She didn't know what she should do next.

[April]

It was like everything in my life just exploded all at once.

I was scrambling to try and grab any pieces that I could hold onto to just try and make sense of what was happening, but there was nothing to grab ahold of.

[Andrea Gunning]

Finally, her pastor called her back.

[April]

He's like, april, why did I just get a phone call from a reporter? They're asking me about Joe.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joe's arrest was all over the news.

[April]

Within four hours, the San Diego Police Department did a press release where they put his name out there. They listed every single charge, everything from harassment of a minor to sexual assault. And it went across the news nationwide. His brother, who lives in Texas, heard about it. Before I could even call him, April's.

[Andrea Gunning]

Phone was ringing all day. And one of those calls was from Joe in jail.

[April]

In that phone call, he was just very calm. There was no emotion. He was just like, they've charged me as a child molester. It was just almost very matter of fact.

[Andrea Gunning]

April knew the facts of the case. She decided to give him one chance to be honest with her.

[April]

I asked him, is any of this true? And he's like, no, no, none of it is true. I'm like, Joe, it's 11 girls. He's like, I know, but, you know, no, it's not true.

[Andrea Gunning]

She knew he was L.

That Tuesday was Joe's arraignment. April decided to go. It would be hard to see him, but she needed to see what he had done, and she wanted to know what was going to happen to him.

[April]

When I went into the courtroom, I had to go and give them my name and who I was there for in my relationship to the person that I was there for. So I told him. I said, here's my name. I'm here for Richard Joseph Banks. I'm his spouse. And then the woman that was right behind me, she gave her name. She looked at me. I looked at her, and she said, I'm here for Richard Joe Banks. I'm the mother of one of his. And she stopped. She looked at me again, and I said, victims.

And she goes, victims.

I looked at her, and I just started crying. And I said, I am so sorry. I had no idea that any of this was happening. I didn't know, and I'm so sorry for the damage. And she came over to me, and she just hugged me.

And she said, I know, and it's gonna be okay.

We both just stood there hugging each other and just sobbing.

[Andrea Gunning]

Then the arraignment got underway.

[April]

The DA Stands up, and she talks through how many charges there are, and then he goes through every single one of the girls, basically. He doesn't name any of them. He just uses their initials. But he's like, you will not speak. Contact. See? Each of the. The girls asked, is that understood? He says, yes, sir, I understand. And that was the one and only time that I went to court for him, because after that, it was like, I'm done. I'm done.

[Andrea Gunning]

April focused her energy on moving into her house. And suddenly, the fact that Jo had never called this place home felt like a breath of fresh air.

[April]

I spent the rest of that week getting everything set up in my new house with all new furniture that he's never sat on, never touched, never slept.

[Andrea Gunning]

In, but she still had all of Joe's belongings.

[April]

I remembered that I still had his cell phone. And I was like, I wonder if there's anything here that I need to see. So I started looking through it and came across a folder that was the same name as the video camera that we had purchased for his work vehicle. So I pull up those files, and I started looking through them, and sure enough, there's pictures of him touching girls. I just got sick, and I threw the phone. I had now officially seen for myself what he had done. And I just. I. Like, I just was sick. I was sick.

[Andrea Gunning]

The next day, April had dinner with her parents and told them that her marriage with Joe was over.

[April]

My dad, he looks at me, he goes, I want to be clear. You're getting a divorce? And I said, yes, I am getting a divorce.

Both my mom and dad were so relieved because they had spoken. Spent years loving Joe and really taking him under their wing and treating him like family. But for both of them, there had always been this underlying mistrust that I never knew about. I never knew they had that.

[Andrea Gunning]

As she disentangled herself from Joe, more and more lies began to emerge. April and Joe had been planning to take a cruise to celebrate their 20th anniversary. She'd been giving him money every month out of her paycheck, and he was putting it towards the cruise. But after the arrest, I went to.

[April]

Cancel our 20th anniversary cruise. He had told me he had put close to $3,000 down, so I'm expecting to get some of that back. But he had only put $200 down.

[Andrea Gunning]

So what was he doing with that money from April's paychecks? She isn't sure, but in the course of his sentencing, she found out he was giving money to the girls he sexually abused.

[April]

He was paying students or students, families. When a student would pass their driver's test, it was presented as a congratulatory gift. And some of the girls that he was giving money to were ones that he violated.

But I personally think that he was using it in some way as a bribe to keep them quiet.

[Andrea Gunning]

In the end, Joe pled guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence. He received five years in state prison.

Once he was sent away, April made one final appointment to speak with Joe face to face.

[April]

I knew it was going to be the last time that I would see him, so I went to the prison.

Sat down across from him, and I looked at him, and I said, do you understand what you've done?

[Andrea Gunning]

Joe stared blankly back at her.

[April]

He just very calmly and quizzically looked at me. He said, but why would they continue to refer me?

And my jaw just dropped. It was like. So that made it okay because you were still being referred. You were probably being referred by their parents who had no idea that you were doing this to them.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joe had no remorse. He spoke about his crimes like he was discussing the weather.

[April]

That's when I realized there was something seriously disconnected, something seriously wrong with him, because what he did was absolutely horrific. And there's nothing that indicates that he understands or is remorseful. Or has any ounce of understanding of what he has done.

[Andrea Gunning]

April's community rallied around her.

[April]

I had a friend stay with me for about three months during that time, just so I wasn't alone. I've got some incredible friends that I've made over the years that I didn't realize how incredible they were until this.

[Andrea Gunning]

She had a great support system, but there was a lot of internal work she had to face on her own during that time.

[April]

I'm going through a lot of therapy. I was seeing a therapist at the time, about three times a week. I needed to talk to somebody that wasn't emotionally connected to any of it.

[Andrea Gunning]

Slowly, she began to unpack the emotions she had been carrying.

[April]

There was so much grieving happening, Grieving the life that I thought I had, grieving the marriage that I wish I had had, grieving the marriage I did have.

[Andrea Gunning]

But underneath the grief was something else.

[April]

So much anger. Anger for how I was treated. Still, to this day, I get so angry because I feel like his victims deserve so much more than what they're getting. So much more. He took a plea deal, and the judge gave him five years with time served. Like, it's not fair. It's not fair to the girls. They deserve so much more than that.

[Andrea Gunning]

Because they were minors. The full names of Joe's victims weren't released. This was to protect the girl's privacy. While she has never met them personally, April thinks of them often.

[April]

I don't know who his victims are, but if for some reason any of them ever listen, I would say that I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. If I had known, I would have done everything within my power to stop it.

[Andrea Gunning]

Since his arrest, the number of known victims has risen to 18. Joe could be out of prison as soon as spring of 2026, but he'll never have a place in. In April's world again.

[April]

I have no need to see him. I don't talk to him. I have nothing to do with him. At this point.

[Andrea Gunning]

April has been busy building a life that brings her joy.

[April]

It's just me and my dog and my cat. I'm loving living by myself. My home is my sanctuary now. I'm rediscovering reading. I'm getting to explore new foods. I've gotten to travel quite a bit because there are places that I've always wanted to go to and he never did. I'm finding a whole new sense of freedom.

[Andrea Gunning]

What April endured with Joe has forced her to reckon with what it means to truly know someone. We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story?

[April]

I wanted to talk about it because finding this podcast was a huge part of what helped me.

To hear experiences that so closely mirror your own. There's something different about that. I suddenly realized that I wasn't alone.

Some people have the uncanny ability to hide the deepest, darkest parts of themselves from those that are closest to them, and sometimes maybe even from themselves. There's no way to ever really truly know a person, and I just have to resign myself to the fact that this was a part of him that he was never going to allow anyone to see until it was too late.

[Andrea Gunning]

On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly, I'm in shock and disbelief. Like just nauseatingly sick. The reality, I guess, is slowly sinking in that my life is all a lie.

He's in the kitchen going to the coffee machine to make himself an espresso and he literally looks at me and.

[April]

Shrugs and he's like, so foreign.

[Andrea Gunning]

If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team or want to tell us your Betrayal story, email [e-mail] that's betrayalpodmail.com or follow us on Instagram betrayalpod. You can also connect with me on Instagram tsundreagunning. To access our newsletter, view additional content and connect with the Betrayal community, join our [e-mail] we're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Pop Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison, hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. This episode was written and produced by Olivia Hewitt and Monique Laborde with additional production from Ben Federman, casting support from Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Kreincheck. Audio editing and mixing by Matt d' Alvecchio Additional audio editing by Tanner Robbins Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines Music Library provided by MIB Music and for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

This holiday season you can help your child write their own magical story, one built on freedom, trust and that first unforgettable ride. Introducing Guardian Bikes. The easiest, safest and quickest way for kids to learn to ride. No tiers and no training wheels needed. That's why Guardian is America's favorite kids bike and the New York Times and Wirecutter's top pick three years in a row. And because every frame is crafted right here in America, you're not just giving a gift, you're supporting the people who build it. This holiday season, give a gift that lasts far beyond the wrapping paper. Visit guardianbikes.com to save up to 40% off on all bikes, plus a free hundred dollars accessory bundle with every order. Guardian Bikes the story of their first ride starts here.

[Sophie Cunningham]

This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or osa, in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snore loudly, or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability and concentration issues, it may be due to osa. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at don'tsleep on OSA.com this information is provided by Lilly, a medicine company.

[Andrea Gunning]

Running a business is hard enough. Don't make it harder with a dozen apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting.

[April]

That's software overload.

[Andrea Gunning]

Odoo is the all in one platform.

[April]

That replaces them all.

[Andrea Gunning]

CRM, accounting, inventory, E Commerce, hr. Fully integrated, easy to use, and built to grow with your business, thousands have already made the switch.

[April]

Why not you try Odoo for free.

[Andrea Gunning]

At o d o o.com that's odoo.com did a GLP one help you lose weight, but now you're noticing unwanted facial changes? The weight came off, but facial volume loss and dull sagging skin are making you look older. That's where the next phase of your weight loss journey comes in. There's before weight loss, after weight loss and the after. After. Help restore and refresh your facial skin and reclaim your natural looking youthful glow. To learn more, visit faceafterweightloss.com that's faceafterweightloss. Com.

[April]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.