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- [00:00]
Host 1
Does this podcast make you happy? Of course it does. That's why you're here. But it only comes out once a week for happiness, every night. You need Adam and Eve.
- [00:10]
Molly
Yes.
- [00:10]
Host 1
I'm talking about sex toys. It's cool. It's cool. You have earbuds in right? Adam and Eve, America's most trusted source for adult products, has been making people very happy for over 50 years with thousands of toys for both men and women. Just go to AdamAndEve.com now and enter code IHEART for 50% off almost any one item plus free discreet shipping. That's AdamAndEve.com, code IHEART for 50% OFF.
- [00:39]
PayPal Announcer
Get your mother loving ears on because your big time radio DJs got news. PayPal lets you choose how you want to pay for all the stuff. With PayPal I can pay in store, pay online, or pay over time. What's that? You want this translated into song? I hope you're sittin down. You can pay your own way. You keep those ears on, you hear. Don't just pay baby. PayPal.
- [01:05]
Producer Mo
Learn more@paypal.com get this adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes, us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treat start prioritizing their financial education and future today with a risk free trial@greenlight.com iheart greenlight.com iheart Amazon Pharmacy.
- [01:39]
Amazon Pharmacy Announcer
Presents painful thoughts 20 more minutes to kill in the pharmacy before my prescription is ready. Maybe I'll grab some deeply discounted out of season Halloween candy. I never had a chocolate pumpkin with raisins before. Those were raisins, right? Next time, use Amazon Pharmacy. We deliver. And no, those were not raisins. Amazon Pharmacy Healthcare just got less Painful.
- [02:55]
Andrea Gunning
Hey guys, it's Andrea Gunning. A few weeks ago, we put a.
- [02:58]
Producer Mo
Call out for your listener essays.
- [03:01]
Andrea Gunning
We wanted to hear from you about resilience after a devastating betrayal. And we received so many incredible essay submissions. For this episode, we're going to feature the second of two essays that really moved me. It's written and read by a listener named Molly.
- [03:23]
Molly
The willow tree bends, but it does not break. It weather storms by swaying with the wind, its roots gripping the earth with quiet determination. I didn't know I had that kind of strength until the night I Left with my 7 and a half month old baby in my arms and a carry on suitcase packed for a nine day trip. I thought I'd be gone for a short while, but life had other plans. Then again, when I got married, I didn't think I'd have to flee from him in fear for my safety and that of my child. Over the next year, I would cross eight states, learning to bend, adapt and survive with nothing but determination, hope and my baby. The breaking point the night I knew I had to leave. The conflict started almost immediately after saying I do. Before marriage, I'd noticed differences in how we handled stress, how quickly he became worked up. But I convinced myself it was manageable. Then, within months of being married, he became someone else. The man who had once written me cards each month and planned thoughtful dates now picked fights over the smallest things. How I ate my apples, whether I let my coffee get cold. Things that shouldn't have mattered to anyone but somehow mattered enough to him to start an argument. I was exhausted, constantly trying to recapture the person I had married. When I got pregnant, the shift was undeniable. The first time he left bruises on my arms, it was because I wouldn't sit on the couch when ordered to in a voice that sent chills down my spine. It wasn't a request, it was a demand. And when I refused, his grip tightened. That was the first time, but it wasn't the last. The final night was the worst of my life. I wasn't allowed to sleep. He berated me for hours, his voice drilling into my skull, his words cutting deeper than the bruises he left behind. Bruises on my arms, my legs. Knuckle prints on my ribcage. A giant bruise across my jaw. I didn't realize you could even bruise from repeated slaps across the face. I don't remember how many times he hit me, but I do remember the moment that changed everything. He had been holding our baby when he put her down just so he could slap me. I watched, helpless as she fell off the bed. That was it. That was the moment. I knew there was no more trying, no more hoping he would change. The only thing that mattered now was getting out. Storm 1 California carrying the weight California was supposed to be a temporary stop. I worked 40 hour weeks with my baby strapped to my chest. Sharing a room with my sister, her two dogs, and the whirlwind of uncertainty that had become my life. The stress of filing for divorce and obtaining a restraining order was relentless. But somehow we still found moments of joy. We laughed. We played. We made memories that softened the sharp edges of my reality. Adaptation wasn't a choice. It was survival. The wounds were fresh, but laughter made me remember who I was before. Roots that Travel the Tree Tattoo in the midst of all the moving from state to state, carrying only what I could manage, I felt completely unanchored. Safety meant staying in motion, never lingering too long in one place, never feeling truly settled. The instability weighed on me, but I clung to one truth. Even if I wasn't planted, my roots still went with me. That's why, during my time in California, I got the tree tattoo. A tree with strong roots but at the same time, empty, barren leaves. It was a reminder that no matter where I had to go, I wasn't lost. I carried my strength, my history, and my identity within me, even when everything around me felt uncertain. Another step toward wholeness. Storm 2 Texas the in between in Texas, I lived in three different places, the last being with a family I'd never met before we moved in. I was able to continue working remotely and feel a bit of freedom to fill our days with park visits, time with my friends who lived in the area, and begin to think and maybe even dream a little about the future. The divorce was final in June. As I hung up the phone with my lawyer, I wiped my tears and high fived the baby in the high chair and said, we've got this girly. We're going to be okay. Better than okay. I had begun counseling and went twice a week in Texas, learning what had happened to me, figuring out red flags. I missed discovering myself again. Storm 3 Mississippi an unplanned gift Texas had been my plan, as I just wanted to stay put for a little while. But when my housing fell through and I couldn't yet afford rent, Mississippi became my unexpected refuge. What felt like another setback turned out to be exactly where I needed to be. My father had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer and and being there meant I could help care for him, cook for my grandmother, and have a stable place with my baby. But the greatest gift was the time spent with my grandma. More importantly, she and my baby got to know each other not just in passing visits, but in the quiet everyday moments that make up a life. We went to library story time together, made meals side by side, and at night, after the baby was asleep, we shared bowls of coffee ice cream, talking in the kind of unhurried way that only happens when you live under the same roof. For two months I had the privilege of knowing her not just as my grandmother, but as a woman. And she got to love my daughter in that same way, Mississippi was never part of my plan. But it became a balm for my heart. An unexpected pause where I could catch my breath and be surrounded by love. Storm 4 Indiana, my hometown, was a wonderful place to grow up. But I never imagined living there as an adult. Life is funny that way. For eight months, we shared a two bedroom apartment with my mom, planning our next steps. Maybe even a place to stay for good. The three of us became a team. In my mother, I finally found the space to thrive in motherhood. He had made that impossible, but she had always modeled love and support. Now, for the first time, I had the chance to parent with someone not alone. I found a support group to attend each Wednesday. There I found perspective and growth and started to realize how much stronger I was than when I first went to counseling. Fresh from the abuse, numb and damaged by all that I'd experienced, I was starting to trust myself again. I started to believe people were still good and loving and kind in the world. I remembered I was loved just as I was, and that I was enough just for being me. In Indiana, I was able to even participate in a fundraising event for the local women's shelter, telling my story before a 5k, voicing for the first time that going through abuse doesn't make you weak. And that healing from abuse is true strength. The end of the Bend, North Carolina. North Carolina became more than just another stop. It became home. After years of bending with the storms, I had finally found solid ground to mark the journey. I went to a new tattoo artist to complete what had begun in California. The tree on my skin, once bare, now had green leaves. As the ink settled, I felt the weight of the past few years. The fear, the exhaustion. The moments I thought I wouldn't make it. But I had. I had not only survived, I had grown. And life kept growing with me. In time, I fell in love again. Love that was steady and safe. I built a new life, a family, and welcomed another baby. Proof that healing isn't just moving on from pain, but making room for joy. The fear never fully disappeared. He tried to find us while I was pregnant with my second daughter. But he did not win. We are safe. We are free. We are strong. Now I give back, offering the kind of support I once needed. I share my story so others know they aren't alone. Healing is not a straight path. We never return to who we were before the storm. But like the willow, we can root ourselves in resilience, bend without breaking. And when the time is right, grow fresh leaves once more.
- [12:24]
Andrea Gunning
When we Come back. Our producer talks with Molly about her writing process. And stay tuned until the end of the episode, when we'll be sharing our next listener essay theme.
- [12:45]
LifeLock Announcer
Not everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are, and it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a new victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You can't control how diligent others are with your personal information, but with Lifelock, you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFElock and use promo code IHEARTRA or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms apply.
- [13:40]
Scamfluencers Announcer
How far would you go to protect your legacy? Scamfluencers is a weekly podcast from Wondery that takes you along the twists and turns of the most infamous scams of all time, the impact on victims, and what's left once the facade falls away. Back in the 80s, a man named Billy Mitchell achieved what many thought was impossible. A perfect Pac man score and world record in Donkey Kong. He became the face of competitive arcade gaming and built an empire around his achievements. But he was so obsessed with being the best that he was willing to do anything to hold onto his high score. When a 2007 documentary called the King of Kong pushed him into the mainstream spotlight, it exposed some troubling behavior. Mitchell allegedly manipulated scores, colluded with referees, and systematically blocked other players from breaking his records. Was Billy really the King of Kong, or was his entire legacy built on deception? Follow scamfluencers on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [14:37]
Host 1
Does this podcast make you happy? Of course it does. That's why you're here. But it only comes out once a week for happiness. Every night. You need Adam and Eve. Yes, I'm talking about sex toys. It's cool. It's cool. You have earbuds in, right? Adam and Eve, America's most trusted source for adult products, has been making people very happy for over 50 years with thousands of toys for both men and Women. Just go to AdamandEve.com now and enter code IHEART for 50% off. Almost any one item plus free discreet shipping. That's AdamandEve.com code IHEART for 50% OFF.
- [15:14]
Andrea Gunning
This episode is brought to you by Opill, the first over the counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. opill is a daily birth control pill that's FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen free, plus there's no prescription needed. Finally, the days of needing a prescription for birth control are over. This is the moment to take control of your health and reproductive journeys because opill is birth control in your control. Opill is available online and at most major retailers. Use code betrayal for 25% off your first month of opill@opill.com I'm going to hand it over to our producer Mo, who talked with Molly for this episode.
- [15:54]
Producer Mo
Can you just tell me a little bit about what the process of writing this was like for you?
- [15:59]
Molly
Yeah, I mean, I have had a lot of distance and time for healing and so I think looking back and seeing the journey was important to me and trying to weave that through. Just because anyone that leaves abuse, it can be chaotic, especially at first. There's just a lot of upheaval and people think leaving is it, that's it. And it's just the start, it's the first step and there's so much that comes after that. So I just really wanted to emphasize and hopefully have people relate to just that journey that is leaving and how much that becomes its own story, really.
- [16:40]
Producer Mo
I want to talk about the headings you used and why you chose to title some of these headings. You know, storm one, Storm two. What does storm mean and why did you title the headings that way?
- [16:51]
Molly
There was just so much upheaval. I mean, when I left legitimately, I had a trip planned. It's a yearly trip I do with my college girlfriends. And he had been threatening me and saying I wasn't gonna go. He had hid my suitcase, he'd taken my phone. I didn't know if I was going. So that night before when I, I literally slept 45 minutes and I had a three hour drive to the airport and he was going to drive us. I didn't know if it was happening. So he woke me up, I took a shower, we drove to the airport. I was in shock, honestly, that we were leaving. I had a nine day carry on. Like I had packed for me and a baby for nine days going to Florida. This was not me leaving, this was not me packing up my life, taking any documents I needed, you know, anything important. It was just some clothes for nine days. And we never went back, not one time. So I guess the storm was really just. Each step was unplanned. I went to la. I was supposed to be there for a birthday, for my daughter's first birthday. Stayed for two months and it just kept being things like that where I had a plan and then everything else happened around me. You know, I had a place to live in Texas that fell through. My dad got diagnosed with cancer. That seemed the next logical step. Go be with family and then go back to your hometown. Figure out next steps. And so each time it was a storm. But storms can kind of be peaceful. And ironically, now I listen to a thunderstorm to sleep. So it's actually calming to the system. And when I look back, they all had such purpose.
- [18:28]
Producer Mo
How did it feel for you putting this down on paper and then reading it out loud?
- [18:34]
Molly
I mean, the process was fairly seamless, I would say, just because I've thought of it so often since and I've, you know, I've journaled and I've done things like that. It's not been obviously in this sort of structure as an essay or anything like that, but I think it's always a little bit therapeutic to take ownership of it. And I, I kind of describe it to other people as it almost happened to someone else because I'm now someone else. So when I look back, it's almost. It's not disassociation, but it's non emotional as far as, like, I'm not, I'm not emotionally affected by telling it, I'm empowered by telling it because I remember what I've gone through and who I am now. And I don't remember that girl that left because she was just such a different version of me. But I was not fully destroyed. And that's something I hope people remember is even if it's, you know, day one, you just left yesterday, you will become something else, I promise.
- [19:39]
Andrea Gunning
Thank you so much for listening and thank you to the incredible listeners who wrote in to share their essays on the theme of resilience. We were so moved by your submissions that we're bringing you more of these listener essays. And our next theme will be the Moment Everything changed. Set the scene. Take us back to that memory. Describe the feelings and thoughts you had in the moment when everything changed. For you, the limit is a thousand words. If your story stands out, it might be featured in a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF and email it to betrayalpodmail.com.
- [20:18]
Producer Mo
If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team or want to tell us your Betrayal story, email us@betrayalpodmail.com that's betrayalpodmail.com we're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison, hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning written and produced by Monique Laborde. Also produced by Ben Federman. Associate producers are Kristen Melchiori and Kaitlin Golden. Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Krejczyk. Audio editing and mixing by Matt DelVecchio additional editing support from Tanner Robbins betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Baines music library provided by My Music and for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartradio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [21:33]
LifeLock Announcer
Not everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are, and it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a new victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen. A LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan. If you lose money due to identity theft. You can't control how diligent others are with your personal information, but with Lifelock you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off. Terms apply.
- [22:28]
Host 1
Does this podcast make you happy? Of course it does. That's why you're here. But it only comes out once a week for happiness. Every night you need Adam and Eve. Yes, I'm talking about sex toys. It's cool, it's cool. You have earbuds in right? Adam and Eve, America's most trusted source for adult products, has been making people very happy for over 50 years with thousands of toys for both men and women. Just go to AdamAndEve.com now and enter code IHEART for 50% off. Almost any one item, plus free discreet shipping. That's AdamAndEve.com code IHEART for 50% OFF.
- [23:07]
PayPal Announcer
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- [23:28]
Molly
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- [23:36]
Odoo Announcer
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