Brandi | Betrayal Weekly

Summary

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Betrayal: Weekly – Brandi | Betrayal Weekly

Host: Andrea Gunning
Guest: Brandi Dredge
Date: August 28, 2025

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Overview

This episode of Betrayal Weekly centers on Brandi Dredge’s harrowing and deeply personal journey: from a small-town Missouri childhood to a teenage romance that spiraled into a marriage shaped by lies, legal battles, and devastating betrayals. Brandi recounts how her relationship with Gary Richard began as love, became a crime without her awareness, and only through hindsight—and the intervention of the law—did she truly understand the depth of deception she endured. Her story is one of awakening, pain, resilience, and ultimately, advocacy for others.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Brandi’s Childhood and Early Lessons on Love (04:16–06:37)

• Brandi recalls rural Missouri life in the 1980s: simple, close-knit, and scarce on resources.
• “A lot of home-cooked meals, a lot of playing in the neighborhood until the street lights came on.” (Brandi, 04:16)
• Reinforced gender roles: “My purpose in life was to make a man happy.” (Brandi, 05:37)
• Love was seen as transactional and tied to service, shaping her later relationships.
• Early experiences with rebellion, cheerleading, and attraction to “bad boys” (06:24–06:33).

2. Meeting Gary Richard: Attraction Without Suspicion (06:41–12:23)

• Gary Richard was an older, charismatic man (24) when Brandi (16) first met him (08:22–10:06).
• Brandi was swept off her feet by his charm and apparent maturity:
  “He just looked like he hung the moon … Age didn’t even come into the equation.” (Brandi, 10:06–10:12)
• She quickly moved in with him, lied to her parents, and became pregnant after four months (13:12).
• Despite family disapproval and rumors about Gary’s criminal history, Brandi believed she could “fix him.”

3. Pregnancy, Marriage, and Overlooked Warnings (12:23–18:26)

• Brandi’s family reluctantly offered support only if she stayed home; Brandi insisted on being with Gary Richard, promising to finish high school (14:26).
• Pregnancy led to discussions of marriage—particularly to bolster Gary’s legal defense, as suggested by his attorney (17:05–17:30).
• Brandi needed parental consent to marry at 17; her mother eventually signed (18:06).
• Memorable moment: The wedding was orchestrated less for love than to influence the legal system.

4. Building a Family Under a Shadow (23:06–27:54)

• Brandi was determined not to live up to the “teenage pregnancy statistic,” striving to finish school and support her family (23:30).
• Gary Richard’s old habits persisted—hanging out with teenagers, financial instability, and job inconsistency.
• “There was never people his own age. … When you’re looking at somebody through the rose colored glasses, red flags are invisible.” (Brandi, 24:23–24:53)

5. The Breaking Point: Betrayal and Abuse Unveiled (28:25–34:42)

• The marriage deteriorated into emotional abuse:
  “The snide little comments...the sacrifice that you make as his person.” (Brandi, 28:00)
• Gary Richard was served a restraining order after being accused by a 15-year-old girl (29:10–29:41).
• Brandi initially believed Gary’s denial but soon uncovered disturbing online activity, including conversations with underage girls (31:01–31:26).
• Brandi’s decisive moment: “Usually he would have been able to talk me out of that, and he didn’t.… for one of the first times … I’m actually in control.” (Brandi, 31:57–32:24)
• Increasing threats: Gary sabotaged Brandi’s car, flattened her tire, and violently threatened self-harm in her presence (33:02–34:17).

6. Legal Aftermath: From Witness to Victim (35:05–44:28)

• Brandi cooperated with the police, providing statements to support the case against Gary Richard (35:24–36:03).
• Shockingly, the investigation resulted in statutory rape charges—not just for other victims, but for Brandi herself due to her age at conception and the DNA evidence provided by their son (36:51–43:05).
• “They’re going to charge him for you. … I have evidence of the crime. I have a son.” (Police Detective to Brandi, 36:51–37:31)
• Brandi’s painful realization: “It felt like, as a mom, you’re saying my son shouldn’t be here, like you’re saying my son’s a crime and, you know, he’s not evidence, he’s my son.” (Brandi, 43:47)

7. Justice and the Cost of Truth (43:40–48:37)

• Gary Richard was sentenced to seven years and had to register as a sex offender (46:52).
• Brandi’s divorce proceeded rapidly, but emotionally, she could not reconcile the idea of being a “statutory rape” victim until later, after receiving a deeply troubling letter from Gary in prison (47:16–48:00).
• “If you think all people think this, this is not right. … I’m done, done. There’s no contact and there’s, you know, never been since then.” (Brandi, 48:00)

8. Rebuilding and Advocacy (48:47–53:04)

• Brandi rebuilt her life with the support of her family, church, and community.
• She became actively involved in the National Coalition to End Child Marriage, testifying at the state capitol about her experience (51:51).
• Her perspective shifted to acknowledge the grooming, manipulation, and broader impact of child marriage laws:
  “I can see the manipulation now. … That is a form of forced marriage that I would have never seen until literally. Now that I’ve been doing this work … light bulb moment.” (Brandi, 52:25)
• Missouri’s legal changes now prevent marriage under 18, regardless of parental consent (52:45–52:54).

9. Turning Trauma into Empowerment (53:04–54:47)

• Brandi embraced her identity as a “child marriage, sex crime and domestic violence survivor,” and published her memoir, Girl Uncoded (53:04).
• Book Excerpt:
  “I was no longer ashamed of my life, my home, or the choices I had made. I saw the happy ending from the beginning … I’m proud of it. Proud of me.” (Brandi, 54:12–54:47)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Hindsight’s a powerful thing, and we share the stories so that hopefully somebody will see it and the light bulb might go off.”
  – Brandi (03:32)
• “When you’re looking at somebody through the rose colored glasses, red flags are invisible.”
  – Brandi (24:53)
• “It felt like, as a mom, you’re saying my son shouldn’t be here, like you’re saying my son’s a crime and, you know, he’s not evidence, he’s my son.”
  – Brandi (43:47)
• “I married my rapist. Hindsight’s a powerful thing.”
  – Brandi (53:04)
• “It’s to help somebody see what I couldn’t … That’s why.”
  – Brandi (54:56)

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Essential Timestamps

• 04:16 – Brandi’s Missouri childhood and early family values
• 08:22 – First encounter with Gary Richard
• 10:06 – Realization of their age gap (16 and 24)
• 13:12 – Brandi becomes pregnant at 16
• 17:05 – Attorney suggests marriage before court date
• 18:06 – Parental consent for underage marriage
• 23:30 – Determination to not be a statistic as a teen mom
• 24:53 – Rose-colored glasses and invisible red flags
• 28:50 – Police serve restraining order after abuse allegation
• 31:01 – Brandi discovers digital evidence; starts her ‘exit plan’
• 33:10 – Gary sabotages her car, endangers her and her child
• 34:49 – Brandi reports domestic violence, begins legal separation
• 36:51 – Statutory rape charges filed due to DNA evidence of their son
• 43:47 – “He’s not evidence, he’s my son.”
• 46:52 – Gary Richard sentenced, Brandi’s expedited divorce
• 52:45 – Missouri legal reform regarding underage marriage

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Conclusion & Brandi's Final Thoughts

• Brandi’s journey highlights the hidden dangers of grooming, manipulation, and outdated marriage laws, and the emotional complexity survivors face even as justice is served.
• Her advocacy is focused on ensuring no other child is pushed into the kind of coerced marriage or legal limbo she endured.
• In her words: “If this can help one person see abuse in a different way, see manipulation in a different way, grooming in a different way, to help somebody see what I could not see … that’s why.” (54:56)

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For more resources, visit Beyond Betrayal Substack.
Brandi’s book, Girl Uncoded, is available now.

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Transcript

[Brandi]

This is an iheart podcast.

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[Brandi]

2.

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[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

3.

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[Brandi]

4.

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[Brandi]

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[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal. A show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything.

[Brandi]

Hindsight's a powerful thing, and we share the stories so that hopefully somebody will see it and the light bulb might go off.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

That's Brandi Dredge. Her story is unlike anything we've ever heard before, and she's never found anyone with the same experience. It's about a betrayal that only came into focus with hindsight. And it's the story of a surprising legal intervention that forced Brandi to reconsider her entire life. As you're listening, you may think you know where the story is going, but everything here is a little more complicated than it seems. So let's start at the beginning. When she was growing up in the 80s in Missouri.

[Brandi]

You know, a lot of home cooked meals, a lot of playing in the neighborhood until the street lights came on, and then you had to come home.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Growing up, her parents struggled to make ends meet.

[Brandi]

My dad was a hunter. I mean, he grew up rural country. So you went out and got the deer and the rabbits and the squirrel, and that's what filled our freezer as.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Far as meat, as a treat. Her parents would take her and her brother to Dairy Queen, but to afford.

[Brandi]

It, we had to go out and collect nightcrawlers, the worms from the ground. So we'd go out and we'd collect nightcrawlers, and then you'd fill them up in the Folgers can. Mom would drive us to the bait shop, and then you'd watch them get weighed out. And then that determined how much money you were gonna get. So it was always good if you could get like $20. Cause then that meant we would be able to get blizzards.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She grew up in a culture where wives served their husbands. And that was the dynamic she observed in her own household.

[Brandi]

My dad, by the time he got home, he, you know, expected his meals to be there when his tea glass would be empty. You know, you just tap the tea glass on the counter, and then that meant, I need more tea. And then she Would go fill up the tea.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She absorbed important lessons from her parents relationship. The biggest one was that her purpose in life was to make a man happy.

[Brandi]

Just all that performance to based love that isn't really love, but it is what I felt that you were supposed to do.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Most of Brandi's childhood was spent playing outside with the neighborhood kids, playing house or recreating TV shows like the Dating Game.

[Brandi]

And we'd have the boys get on the one side of the house and be on the other corner and kind of ask them questions.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

In high school, she joined the cheerleading squad. It made her feel like somebody and like she was part of something. Brandi had a lot of time to herself because her dad worked double shifts and her mom was busy managing the household.

[Brandi]

Some of us were more rebellious than others and did the sneaking around behind our parents backs.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Brandi would sneak out with her high school boyfriends.

[Brandi]

I seemed to kind of gravitate towards that bad boy.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

In her sophomore year, she met a boy who wasn't like the rest.

[Brandi]

He was not a bad boy at all. Man just really treated me like I was gold and special. I never felt like he wanted just a body. I felt like, wow, he really cared about me as a person.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

When he left and went off to college, Randy still had another two years of high school.

[Brandi]

And then one day I was getting ready to go to cheerleading game and he had called and said that he wanted to break up with me. And man, I was devastated. So devastated because I, yeah, I kind of thought that he, he's the one. But my friends were there to pick me up for the game and they were like trying to cheer me up, you know, it's okay, we're gonna go to this party afterwards at this apartment.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She agreed to go with her friends. Even though on the inside she was crushed about the breakup. She felt abandoned. The party was at an apartment where two high schoolers were living with an older guy.

[Brandi]

I would hear about this apartment because some boys at our school had lived with this man. And these boys had kind of rebelled from their parents and so they were living with him. So I would hear these rumors about this apartment. But up until this point, I had never been there.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

The rumors were about a good looking older guy who lived there. And she was curious.

[Brandi]

It was kind of almost like this celebrity.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

When she got there, she met Gary Richard, a man so infamous, he had two first names.

[Brandi]

When he walked in, I mean, he was stunning. He had black hair and it's like hung to his jawline. And he was muscular. And had these blue eyes that very physically fit everything. When I saw him like that was it, I just wanted to keep knowing more about him and I wanted to interact with him.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

The sting of her breakup was still so fresh. But all of a sudden, the prospect of this older guy made her forget the pain for a minute. She was instantly intrigued. Her eyes followed him.

[Brandi]

And I could see from where I was sitting in the living room, he was in the bathroom and he was starting to shave his face. And so I went down there and was like, I want to shave your face.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

It was forward, flirtatious even. But Brandi was reeling from the rejection of the first guy who treated her well, the one she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. Now Gary Richard was making her feel seen and wanted.

[Brandi]

That attraction was just something I couldn't fight against. I guess I didn't want to fight against it. I mean, I just wanted him no matter what. Age didn't even come into the equation. I knew he was older, but I didn't know what that age was.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She was 16, and she found out later Gary Richard was 24 at the time. The age difference didn't even cross her mind.

[Brandi]

I mean, he just looked like he hung the moon. He was. Mm.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

But whether she thought about it in the moment or not, his age was a part of Gary Richards appeal.

[Brandi]

When you come across somebody that seems like they've had all these life experiences, you feel like, wow, I haven't did anything. I haven't even made it out of my hometown.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

He worked as a model for local businesses and bridal shows. He had multiple jobs and a car. For 16 year old Brandi, he was the epitome of cool. After the night they met, she and Gary Richard became an item.

[Brandi]

It wasn't like a conversation of, hey, would you like to go out? Would you like to be my girlfriend? We were just together. I would lie to my parents a lot about where I was going and I would end up staying the night with him.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

When she was with him, she felt like a grown up.

[Brandi]

He djed at a club in town. He would get me in and so I'd set up in the little DJ booth and then he'd bring me these butterscotch drinks from the bar and we would dance and we had so much fun dancing.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

He always seemed in control, like he knew what to do next and how to make it happen.

[Brandi]

I mean, he had this way about him, the way he would talk to people. He had this charm, like he could make people do whatever he wanted. Them to do. The other thing about him was he always seemed like he had wealth, like he just carried himself in a way where money never seemed to be an object for him. And for me at 16, coming from my home where we're eating the deer and the squirrel out of the freezer, I felt like I had struck gold.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

One night, Brandi's parents found out she'd been sneaking out and lying about where she was. So she came clean about Gary Richard.

[Brandi]

I'm declaring, you know, that I love him. And at this point, you know, we had only been together just a few months, but, you know, professing my love for him, you know, and you're not going to be able to keep me from him and all these things.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Her parents disapproved, but they didn't try to stop the relationship. What Brandi didn't tell them were the rumors she'd heard about her new boyfriend.

[Brandi]

He had gotten locked up, he didn't graduate from high school, got his GED in prison, had ended up being in prison a couple different times for just different things.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

He told Brandi that he had spent a few months in prison, but it was on a trumped up theft charge. And in the same breath, he explained he had a hard life.

[Brandi]

His mom had abandoned him as a child, and his siblings and their grandmother raised him.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She felt for him most of all. She felt like she could fix him.

[Brandi]

And then four months after meeting him, I got pregnant.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Gene Gary bought a pregnancy test to confirm it, and it was positive. The whole time he stayed calm and collected.

[Brandi]

He just so confidently, like he always does, just knew what to do. He just always had a plan.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

His plan was to start a life together and build a family. That's what Brandy wanted too.

[Brandi]

I knew as long as I had him, I would be okay like I have you. I love you. This will be our family and we're gonna be okay. As long as I have him, my life's gonna be good no matter what.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Next, Brandi had to tell her parents. She wrote them a note and left it on her nightstand.

[Brandi]

I was scared because I thought they would disown me. You know, my dad was scary. Of course they were upset, but it wasn't the reaction that I had expected.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Her dad offered to get her on his insurance plan and help her through the pregnancy in exchange for staying at home. But Brandy wanted to be with Gary Richard.

[Brandi]

I wanted to move in with Gary Richard. I just wanted this perfect little family we'll all be together. And that was all I wanted anyways, was Just to be with him. So I did. But I still promised my dad I would finish high school and that I would graduate.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Brandi started her senior year while she was pregnant with her son.

[Brandi]

The summer before my senior year, I turned in my cheerleading uniforms, and then I turned 17.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

After that, she moved in with him at his apartment.

[Brandi]

And then a few months later, when I was eight months pregnant, I heard a knock at the door. And so I went to the door, and there were two detectives standing there. They asked me if Gary Richard was home.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

They were investigating Gary Richard for theft. Not knowing what to do, Randy let them in, where they collected evidence and thanked her for her cooperation.

[Brandi]

You see that stuff on the movies, but to have that happening right before your eyes, it's just shocking. And then Gary Richard comes home, and he's not scared like I am. He's just calm and confident.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

He denied he'd stolen anything. And Brandi didn't hear from the police again about the theft, so she assumed they closed the case, and life moved on in a big way. A few weeks later, their son was born.

[Brandi]

Holding him. It's just incredible. It's that kind of love that you can't. I can't. It's hard to describe. It's like my heart setting on outside of my body, and I'm holding it.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She made her son a promise.

[Brandi]

What I did know then, you know, even at that young age, was that I was going to be the best mom I could be for him, that I was always going to be there for him, and that I just wanted him to be safe.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Sitting in that hospital room holding her new baby, Brandi was blissfully unaware of the chaos that would follow them. A few days after they got home from the hospital, Gary Richard was charged with theft. He told Brandy he was innocent, but he was already on probation. So his lawyer wanted to show the judge that Gary Richard was now a family man. They all went to the courthouse together, where he entered a not guilty plea.

[Brandi]

The attorney then proceeds to say, if we had got married before the court date, it would really help, kind of show the judge, you know, that he's this change man. New baby, new wife, can hopefully help lessen any sentence or anything. That was the plan. The plan was we were going to get married before he would go in front of the judge. So the wedding planning began.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She started calling around to churches in.

[Brandi]

Their area, and when I had called one of the churches, the preacher wouldn't marry anybody that's under the age of 18.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Brandi was baffled. Before this moment, she hadn't given any thought to their age difference.

[Brandi]

That didn't make any sense to me because I'm thinking, okay, you know, you're just being kind of close minded and didn't want to get married at your church anyway. I didn't realize in our state to get married under the age of 18 you had to have parental consent.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

So she went to her parents.

[Brandi]

I begged my parents to sign. I used all stops when I'm begging and pleading, you know, that this is the right thing to do for my family. So then finally my mom gave in. She went up there and signed the marriage license and we got married.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Brandy was 17.

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After Brandi had her son, she and Gary Richard got married. They hadn't planned on it, but on his attorney's advice, they decided it would be the best thing for the family. Brandi also worked hard to graduate high school. She wanted to make sure, she had a degree and could make money to provide for her family. She didn't want to become another statistic about teenage pregnancy. She wanted to defy the odds.

[Brandi]

It just kind of felt like this challenge of, yeah, I'm going to show you that that's not going to be me.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

But despite her efforts to start a new life together, Gary Richards old habits followed them. He ended up taking a plea deal on the theft charge. When it came to sentencing, their plan to get married and show that Gary Richard was a family man won favor with the judge.

[Brandi]

The ploy worked, and it did give him supervised probation, which is what we had wanted. We didn't want him to go to prison. So that was a win. And the attorney did his job. You know, he kept him from going back to prison. It's like, okay, this time we're done. Now my family's done with all this and we can move forward.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

But as time went on, Brandi noticed that Gary Richard was still hanging out with teenagers.

[Brandi]

And it's like, I'm at home and what are you doing, you know, hanging out with them? Oh, well, you know, so and so. And they wanted to hang out after work. And some of those kids were younger than myself at the time. There was never people his own age. I guess I'll say it like that. Very few people were his own age. I think you kind of believe what you you want to believe. You know, when you're looking at somebody through the rose colored glasses, red flags are invisible.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

For Brandi, their relationship had become bigger than the two of them. Now it was about their son and what was best for him. Four years into their marriage, they had saved enough money to move out of the apartment where they met and buy a house together.

[Brandi]

I was just shy of 22 and started working at the local hospital that I was excited about because that kind of felt like a big girl job.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Gary Richard seemed to be growing up too. Their new home became a place for them to host family celebrations and start traditions of their own.

[Brandi]

We used to host Halloween parties. We hosted New year's parties. He DJed our parties. You know, they made the best, funnest garage house parties. Everybody loved our parties and loved decorating. You know, my mom and sister would come over and help decorate. I mean, it was just the whole production.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Gary Richard even organized Halloween hayrides for all the kids in the neighborhood.

[Brandi]

He would hook up the little trailer thing and we would do the bells of hay and have the hot chocolate and drive the kids around the neighborhood. That was cool. And everybody loved it.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

And he really showed up as a father to their son. Like volunteering as a little league coach and teaching him how to ride a bike.

[Brandi]

I remember watching him run up the road, you know, like when they do that, where they hold the back of the seat. Or one time he built him a bunk bed. My son had always wanted that. And so that was. Yeah, when I saw that, like, him being this dad that almost seemed picturesque. The dad liked that would be on the tv. All I ever wanted was my family to look like that.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

In those first few years, their marriage felt strong.

[Brandi]

He would say, like, you're the only one for me. And he would tell me how much he loved my family, you know, that it felt like the family he never had. You know, that's why I stayed. That's why I loved him. That's why. Because it was my family. No matter how it looked or what else happened, you stay. Cause that's your person. And you just do life with them.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

The main struggle in their marriage was around money. The couple was constantly under financial stress. When they had first started dating, he'd made it seem like he had money. But she quickly discovered that wasn't really the case.

[Brandi]

Okay, he doesn't have the kind of money he's making it out to seem.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Their bills and loans were piling up.

[Brandi]

Everything's rob Peter to pay Paul, and then he would jump jobs, and there wasn't that consistent income always. So then it was like me trying to kind of figure out, okay, how are we going to pay this one? This disconnect notice. And so then I'm trying to research and find the ways, you know, always kind of fighting to survive.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

As their marriage progressed, Gary Richards started putting Brandi down, insulting her.

[Brandi]

The snide little comments. You know, you make fun of my voice, you make fun of my stretch marks. You know, the different little jabs here and there that I accepted it as. That's just who he is. You either love him or you hate him. That's just who he is. You know, like, he's. He's gonna make jokes about me. This is the sacrifice that we make for the family. This is the sacrifice that you make as his person.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

This wasn't the same guy she met when she was 16 who made her feel like the center of his world. Brandy was always trying to get that version of him back. One day, nine years into their marriage, they were taking their son and his friend out to celebrate. The kids had gotten straight A's in the fourth grade as the family van Was backing out of the driveway. They were interrupted.

[Brandi]

There was two sheriff cars blocking our drive. And you know, so I look at him, obviously, you know, like what are they? You know, but you got kids in the car looking at you. So, you know, it's like some of our communication was more like just looking at each other, you know, saying stuff without saying stuff because you're trying to now not want to scare these kids.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Gary Richard got out of the car to speak with the police while Brandi stayed with the kids.

[Brandi]

And then he walked back towards the car. And then I got out and he told me that they were serving him a restraining order and that there was some allegations made against him and they wanted him to go to the station because they needed to ask him some questions.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Gary Richard told Brandi he had no idea what this was about, but he was willing to cooperate. He left Brandi and the kids and headed to the police station.

[Brandi]

He called from the jail later and told me the teenager had accused him of touching her inappropriately and had told her mom. Her mom went to file the restraining order against him. And then that's what started this investigation.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

The allegations came from a 15 year old girl. Gary Richard denied it. He told Brandi it was a misunderstanding.

[Brandi]

He told me that he didn't know why she said it. He said that maybe she thinks I'm cute. Maybe she made up a story about me to look cool in front of her friends.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She believed him, even though she had a gut feeling that something was wrong.

[Brandi]

It's not normal. None of this is normal.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Then Thanksgiving rolled around. They had planned to spend the holiday.

[Brandi]

With Brandy's aunt and he acted very different. He didn't want to come, he didn't want to go.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

That night, Gary Richard called Brandi and told her he was camping out for Black Friday deals. So Brandy was home alone with the house to herself.

[Brandi]

And something that I can only describe is just this divine kind of guidance. I started to replant all the ways he didn't seem like himself.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Brandy's intuition told her to check his laptop.

[Brandi]

I was able to get into his computer and when it pops up, there are communications with teenage girls and there's photos of people.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She was seeing evidence with her own eyes. Suddenly the allegation from the 15 year old girl no longer seemed like a misunderstanding.

[Brandi]

I can no longer believe him. So at the time I thought, okay, I'm going to print out these papers because if I have this, he can't deny it. So I printed all those things out and knew that at that point, okay, now my exit plan's gonna begin of how to get him out of our lives.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She hid the printed pages in a cabinet. Then she gathered up all his belongings, packed them into her car, and drove.

[Brandi]

To his workplace and pulled up outside the dorm. And then I unloaded his stuff. And then I called him and told him it was starting to rain and he might wanna get his stuff. And so for me, powerful moment, because usually he would have been able to talk me out of that, and he didn't. He didn't at all. And I told him he wasn't coming back to our house. You know, I was firm in it. I was powerful. And, you know, it felt like for one of the first times, you know, like I'm actually in control.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

And she finally had the proof. She had the pictures of what he was doing online. But when it came time for her to bring that evidence to the police, she went to grab the pages and found that they were missing.

[Brandi]

I don't know where the papers went. He had came back into the house and slipped the waterbed, and those papers were gone.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

While she was out, Gary Richard went to the house, found the photos she'd hidden, and destroyed her bed. She needed to figure out her next move. Even with him out of the house, she no longer felt safe.

[Brandi]

I come out of work one day, my tire's flat. Later, I would find out he flattened the tire.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Another time, she was driving through a busy intersection when her car seized up and died in the middle of the.

[Brandi]

Road, only to find out that he had put metal shavings into the oil, which then caused the engine to seize up. Yeah, caused our car to break down. We could have been severely injured.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Her son was in the car with her that day. They could have been killed. It proved that Gary Richard would do anything to hurt Brandi. The final straw was a night when Gary Richard came over and threatened to hurt himself in front of Brandy.

[Brandi]

That night escalated so quickly. Thank God my son was asleep and he slept with fans. And I'm very thankful because he never, ever heard.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

That night, he had a box cutter.

[Brandi]

In his hand, and he would slice his wrist. And, you know, now he's going to be back in control, and I'm going to watch him do this because I'm the reason he's doing it.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She was afraid for her life. He took her phone, and he wouldn't let her leave the house.

[Brandi]

At one point, you know, I tried to get away. I don't know where I was trying to run to, but I crouched down like in the corner of the couch and like he just coming into me when I could feel his breath nuzzling my face, like with his scratchy hairs. He was mad.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

And she told herself that if she made it through the night, she'd go to the police station in the morning.

[Brandi]

And so the next day I did exactly what I said. I went to the police station. They asked me if I wanted to press charges against him for domestic assault and I said yes. So I gave him a statement and then they had me get a restraining order.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Because of the domestic violence charges, they were able to arrest Gary Richard again and this time his bail was much higher. After his arrest, the police reached back out to Brandi. The investigation into the 15 year old girl's allegation was still ongoing. The police wanted to talk to Brandi about it.

[Brandi]

So he asked if I would come give a statement to help. And so I said absolutely, so if I could help them. But again, never thinking anything else other than I'm just going in there to help, at this point I believe her and I'm going to go in and, and I'm going to do all I can to help. So I go in there. He tells me to start from the beginning, asked me when I met him and we go through all of that. And then he tells me that including the teen who initially had came forward, there were five girls who were willing to testify that he had victimized them in some way.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Four more girls were willing to testify the Gary Richard had sexually assaulted them while they were underage. But the police were struggling with the case because they didn't have any physical evidence to support their allegations. Without those photos and online chats that had gone missing, Randy couldn't offer them much.

[Brandi]

I leave and I didn't get very far from the station and my phone rings and he said, you know, can you come back? You forgot to, to sign your statement. Okay. Yep. And so I went back. When I go back in there, he tells me that they spoke to the prosecutor and that they're going to charge him, but not for what I thought.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She thought the police would be charging him for assaulting the five underage girls, but she was wrong.

[Brandi]

Then he said, they're going to charge him for you. I went white. And then he said something that still to this day will forever stick with me. He said, I have something that they don't. I have evidence of the crime. I have a son.

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[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

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[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

After nine years of marriage, Brandi went to the police to file domestic violence charges against her husband. At the time, he was already the suspect of another investigation. Five girls accused him of sexually assaulting them. Gary Richard was 35. There was no physical evidence and the cops hoped Brandi could help their case by providing a statement. She agreed. Shortly after, the cops called Brandi back in. They would be charging Gary Richard with two counts of statutory rape. One count for one of the five girls and another for the statutory rape of Brandy. When she heard this, she was in shock. The officer's words didn't make sense to her.

[Brandi]

Clearly what he did to other people was wrong. I just couldn't see it. For me, I thought, I'm not them, you know, like, he's my son's father.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

But the police were very direct with Brandi.

[Brandi]

Then he told me that they were charging him for me because I had evidence of the crime. I have a son, it's DNA. And that with the other girls it was Their word against his.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She wanted Gary Richard to go to prison for what he'd done to the other girls and for the domestic violence against her. But a statutory rape charge in her case didn't make sense to her. She tried to reason with the detectives, and they said that I could take.

[Brandi]

It up with the prosecutor. But with child sex crimes like statutory rape, the state can choose to prosecute without me because they don't need the victim's consent. They have up to 20 years from your 18th birthday to do so.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Brandi left the station with her heart pounding in her ears. All she could think about was her son.

[Brandi]

And those words, just crime, victim, evidence, son, crime, victim, evidence, son. And then it felt like, as a mom, you're saying my son shouldn't be here, like you're saying my son's a crime and you know he's not evidence, he's my son.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She said it was the most destabilizing moment she's ever experienced.

[Brandi]

This is my life that they're playing with, you know, this is my life. It's not a game.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Brandi's whole world was built around her role as a mother, a wife. So for the origin of those roles to be deemed a crime completely shattered her sense of reality.

[Brandi]

It just felt like, man, you just erased, like, my whole life. And that it was all wrong.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

It reduced her identity to a simple story, a crime, something that was done to her by him. She'd lost control of the narrative of her life. Brandi called the prosecutor to ask why she and her son had to be at the center of Gary Richards case. The prosecutor explained that her son's DNA evidence was the only way to guarantee a conviction as against Gary Richard. If Brandi wasn't willing to give her son's DNA voluntarily, they could get a warrant for it. By the end of the call, Brandi had agreed to work with the police.

[Brandi]

They were going to send a sheriff out to do the swab. And I said I didn't want to do it at my house, so I had arranged to meet them at my brother and sister in law's, and so we did.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Her son was 9 at the time. Randy felt like he was too young to hear the facts of the case.

[Brandi]

I told my son that his dad was sick at the jail and that they just needed to swab him to make sure that he wasn't sick too.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

After they processed the evidence, they were.

[Brandi]

Able to get two counts of statutory rape, one with me 16 when he was 24.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

In the end, that second charge wasn't for the 15 year old's case case, the one that started the investigation into Gary Richard, it was for one of the other girls, a 14 year old who said Gary Richard groomed and sexually assaulted her when he was 26. That meant it had been two years into Brandi's marriage. The case brought shock after shock. The local news got a hold of the story, making it even worse for Brandi.

[Brandi]

Our local news did a broadcast when he was going to court and they even said he would be going to court today for charges on statutory rape with a 16 year old whom he later married.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Facing the two counts and the DNA evidence, Gary Richard took a plea deal.

[Brandi]

With the DNA evidence. That was kind of the plea. If you do that, we'll roll, roll the two up into one and then give you the seven year. For the two two counts, he was.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Sentenced to seven years and had to register as a sex offender. As for the domestic violence charge, he got 15 days. Randy's divorce was expedited. It happened at the same time as his criminal proceedings.

[Brandi]

Our divorce hearing was right the day before he was scheduled to be sentenced.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

That was the first time Brandi had seen him since the charges. And when he walked into the courtroom, she felt a pang of guilt. She understood that he was her abusive ex husband and that he was a predator who had sexually assaulted teenage girls. But when it came to her own experience of statutory rape, my mind just.

[Brandi]

Could not go there. And I think in some ways, yeah, it's probably your, you know, trauma and your body trying to just protect, you know, you're trying to rationalize a lot of bad things. And I think part of that is the survival mechanism. You know, it is survival.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

The tipping point for Brandi came later when she received a letter Gary Richards sent her from prison.

[Brandi]

So then I got this letter from him and in it, it was a five page letter, but the first page he said that there isn't a man that doesn't look at a teenage girl and want to have sex with her. And then it starts clicking that like if you think all people think this, this is not right. And it's like, no, no, no letters and I'm not accepting the calls from, you know, the prison and just I'm done, done. There's no contact and there's, you know, never been since then.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

With Gary Richard in prison, she became the sole provider for her household.

[Brandi]

At this point, you gotta really buckle up your bootstraps.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She trained to get a better job at the hospital where she worked and relied on her community for support.

[Brandi]

But once he went away, just amazing. Things unfolded as far as like the kindness of people. My sister and brother in law found a place that we could fix up. It was a little tiny half bedroom house and we turned it into three and we, we all worked on that. It was a labor of love.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Even though he was in prison, she struggled to escape Gary Richard. His voice was still in her head telling her that this was all her fault.

[Brandi]

I was listening to Brene Brown, she was saying, guilt is I did something bad and shame is I am bad. And man, when I heard that I was like, ah, yeah, it is shame. Psychological abuse particularly is so hard to overcome. You don't realize it's happening. You don't realize how slowly pieces of yourself are fading out and you're losing pieces little by little until there's not really a you left.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She needed more emotional support so she started going to a women's group at her church.

[Brandi]

The ladies that I thought had these perfect lives because of what they're wearing or just you think they have it all together. And when they would open up and share about the common threads that run through us, all the ways they feel insecure, the way they feel like not enough just see hearing that come out of their mouth, that was so eye opening and freeing at the same time. Like, wow, we're just human beings trying to figure this out.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

It took years of meetings and conversations like this for Brandi to fully understand and accept what she had gone through. She had to go back to when she first met Gary Richard.

[Brandi]

Now looking back, even from the very beginning, the fact that kids from my high school lived with him, that very first thing, you know what I mean? It's not normal.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She now sees this from an adult lens as unhealthy and inappropriate. She became grateful for the prosecutor and police officers who decided to include her in the charges.

[Brandi]

Now I applaud them because I think they 100% did the right thing because that took him off the street, that protected other girls and I am so thankful that they could see what I couldn't.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

And she's become an advocate. She works on raising the minimum age required for marriage.

[Brandi]

I'm part of the National Coalition to End Child Marriage. As a survivor ally, I'm actually getting ready to go speak at Jeff City at our Capitol for the ending of child marriage because they're getting ready to put that on the bill. So I'm going to go next week and give a testimony.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Looking back on her decision to get married at 17, she sees how that legitimized their relationship and made her legitimize it too. Gary Richards attorney suggested that if they got married, the judge might go easier on him. To Brandi, that looks different today.

[Brandi]

I can see the manipulation now. Even when the attorney suggested getting married, I can see grooming that is a form of forced marriage that I would have never seen until literally. Now that I've been doing this work, it's like, ah, kind of light bulb moment of, you know, I can see the manipulation.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

In 2025, Missouri changed the state laws to require all parties to be over 18, regardless of parental consent.

[Brandi]

So had that law been on the books at the time, my marriage would have never been able to happen.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She started using new words when talking about her experience.

[Brandi]

It took me a long time, first of all, to say that I'm child marriage, sex crime and domestic violence survivor. Like, to even say those words took a long time because I felt like I didn't have the right to call myself that. When I'm going to go speak next week, I'll say that I married my rapist. Hindsight's a powerful thing.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Brandi wanted to reclaim her story and tell it publicly. So she started reaching out to publishers to find a way to write a book about her life.

[Brandi]

And then I just thought, you know what? Life's too short. This is an investment I want to make into myself.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She found the perfect copy editor for the job.

[Brandi]

And then I ended up working with Jindra Kolbaba. She agreed to copy edit, and she said, we'll go chapter by chapter, because if we don't, you'll quit, you know, just because it's going to get real. And she was right. Best advice ever.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

She connected with she writes Press, an independent publisher that focuses on women's stories. Her book was published in fall 2024, and it's titled Girl Uncoded. This is the last passage from her book.

[Brandi]

I was no longer ashamed of my life, my home, or the choices I had made. I saw the happy ending from the beginning. I saw how the DNA of my son was the indisputable evidence to hold Gary Richard accountable for his actions and bring justice to all the survivors of his crimes, including me. I leaned into the pool of sunlight on the windowsill, closed my eyes as a smile splashed across my face and flooded my body with joyful thoughts of being free. I'm proud of it. Proud of me.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story?

[Brandi]

It's to help somebody see what I couldn't to help somebody see sooner to be able to change their circumstances. If this can help one person see abuse in a different way, see manipulation in a different way, grooming in a different way, to help somebody see what I could not see what has taken me so long to see. That's why.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly.

[Brandi]

He would tell some of them that he was their soulmate and that they were twin flames and they had a deeper connection. And then I realized, wow, he is not a mentor. He's pretty much a monster. I probably should shut the studio down immediately.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Before we end the episode, I have some exciting news. Betrayal will be doing our first ever live show as part of the Virgin Voyages True Crime Cruise. We'll be answering listener questions and discussing them live on stage with Stacy and.

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Tyler from Betrayal Season three as well.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

As Caroline from Season four.

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So if you have a question for.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Us, please email [e-mail] with the subject line Listener Question. And if you want to join us on the Caribbean cruise, there are still spots available.

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Search virginvoyages.com.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team or want to tell us your Betrayal story, email [e-mail] that's betrayalpodmail.com or follow us on Instagram etrayalpod to access our newsletter, view additional content and connect with the Betrayal community, join our substack at Betrayal Substack. If you love the show, one way to support it is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show was executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison, hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Monique Laborde. Also produced by Ben Federman. Associate producers are Caitlin Golden, Olivia Hewitt and Kristin Melchiori. Casting support from Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Krinczyk. Audio editing by Matt d' Aldechio, mixing and mastering on this episode by Dave Seah additional audio editing by Tanner Robbins betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Baines music library provided by my music and for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartradio.

[SimpliSafe/American Home Shield/Guardian Bikes Advertiser]

App, Apple podcasts or wherever you get.

[Andrea Gunning (Host/Narrator)]

Your podcasts.

[Washable Sofas Advertiser]

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[Danielle Fishel (Pod Meats World Advertiser)]

This is Danielle Fishel from Pod Meats World. Parents, quick question. When is the last time you won snack time? The other day I handed my son a perfectly portioned Pinterest level snack and he traded it for a Mott's Applesauce pouch. I'm not mad, just impressed. And that's why Mott's no Sugar added Applesauce pouches are perfect to keep on hand. They're made with real apples packed in a super easy pouch. Perfect for tossing in a lunchbox, keeping in the car or grabbing as you're running out the door. Plus, they're a good source of vitamin C and kids love them. Win, win. Make sure your kid wins snack time with Mottz. Real apples make real good applesauce. Learn [e-mail] hi, it's Danielle Fishel from Pod Meats World. You know that moment when you're getting dressed and it's just total chaos? Your kid can't find a shoe, the dog's barking at his reflection, and all you need is a go to outfit you can trust. If you're tired of options that miss the mark, let me put you onto JCPenney. No, don't give me that wait, Seriously look. They've got stylish, dependable pieces that feel effortless. A perfect solution for busy parents. I just picked up an A and a denim blouse and Liz Claiborne a line dress. Both easy wins for when I'm on the go and super affordable. And the best part? The shocked faces I get when I say, yeah, it's from JCPenney. Don't miss out. Shop [e-mail] yes, JCPenney.

[Hill's Pet Nutrition Advertiser]

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[Brandi]

This is an I Heart podcast.