Betrayal: Weekly - Episode 27: "Abby"

Release Date: February 6, 2025
Host: Andrea Gunning
Produced by iHeartPodcasts and Glass Podcasts

Introduction

In Episode 27 of Betrayal: Weekly, host Andrea Gunning delves into the intricate and heart-wrenching story of Abby Ellen and her tumultuous relationship with Richard, a man whose charming façade ultimately concealed a web of deceit and criminal activity. This episode masterfully intertwines themes of trust, manipulation, and resilience, offering listeners a comprehensive exploration of betrayal's multifaceted impact.

Background: Abby Ellen's Journey

Abby Ellen, an accomplished independent journalist with credits in esteemed publications like The New York Times and The Washington Post, has always possessed an innate curiosity and a relentless pursuit of the truth. As Andrea highlights, "Storytelling comes naturally to her" (03:09), a trait that would later become pivotal in uncovering the layers of deception crafted by Richard.

From her early days on the children's show Romper Room, where she was determined to uncover the truth behind the "magic mirror," Abby's inquisitive nature set the foundation for her investigative career. Her transition from writing women's magazines in the 90s to cold-pitching hard-hitting stories to major newspapers exemplifies her dedication to meaningful journalism (04:09).

The Relationship: Meeting Richard

Abby's personal life took a dramatic turn when she met Richard, a Navy doctor with an impressive but enigmatic background. Their connection seemed almost predestined, aligning with a psychic's prediction that Andrea recounts: "And it seemed almost... meant to be" (11:12). Richard's initial charm, marked by thoughtful gestures like sending a navy cap (13:47) and organizing glamorous dates at the Four Seasons (13:12), quickly enamored Abby.

Despite the age difference—Richard was 58 and Abby 42—their bond deepened through regular visits and affectionate interactions. Richard's professional accomplishments and his portrayal as a devoted family man further solidified Abby's trust in him (14:00; 14:48).

Unveiling the Betrayal: Red Flags and Lies

As their relationship progressed, subtle inconsistencies began to emerge. Richard's frequent absences for "secret missions" and his reluctance to divulge details about his work raised Abby's suspicions (15:06). Her investigative instincts, honed through journalism, prompted her to delve deeper into Richard's background.

The first significant red flag appeared when Richard claimed to have treated Osama Bin Laden at Guantanamo Bay—a claim that, given the political climate of the mid-2000s, was implausible (18:12). Abby's attempts to verify this through her network hit dead ends, yet Richard maintained the narrative, deepening her curiosity and concern (19:42; 22:12).

Another pivotal moment was a seemingly innocuous lie during a dinner with Abby's parents. Richard praised a dish at the restaurant, only to privately express disdain for the same meal (29:00). This dissonance between his public and private persona shattered Abby's trust, highlighting his compulsion to fabricate and deceive (29:14).

Fact-Checking and Investigation: The Path to Truth

Determined to uncover the truth, Abby embarked on a meticulous investigation into Richard's claims. Her efforts included:

1. Verifying Military Credentials: Abby consulted a Navy SEAL impersonation expert who confirmed that Richard was not a SEAL, debunking one of his significant fabrications (32:56; 42:10).

2. Tracking Fraudulent Activities: A turning point came when Abby received a call from NCIS informing her that her name was linked to fraudulent narcotics prescriptions written by a Navy doctor named Richard (37:01). This revelation prompted her to confront the inconsistencies in Richard's past.

3. Connecting with Richard's Past Relationships: Abby reached out to Richard's ex-wife and former girlfriends, uncovering a pattern of deceit and manipulation. Notably, Christine, one of Richard's ex-partners, revealed that his disappearance coincided with his secret missions, adding another layer to his fraudulent activities (39:30; 40:11).

4. Exposing Criminal Activities: The final blow came when Gail, Richard's last con, cooperated with authorities after discovering his prescription fraud. Her betrayal underscored the extent of Richard's deception and the devastating impact on his victims (41:31; 41:01).

Consequences and Aftermath: Life After Betrayal

Richard's fraudulent activities culminated in his arrest and subsequent guilty plea to two felony charges of prescription fraud. During sentencing, he attributed his addiction to coping with a girlfriend's terminal cancer diagnosis, a claim that painted a complex picture of his motivations (41:31; 42:07).

For Abby, the aftermath involved not only heartbreaking revelations about Richard but also a journey of personal growth and resilience. She authored a book titled Duped, which extends beyond her personal story to explore the broader phenomenon of being deceived. Through her research, Abby uncovered concepts like "betrayal blindness"—a term coined by Dr. Jennifer Fried—explaining why even the most discerning individuals can fall victim to manipulation (43:00; 43:56).

Abby's narrative emphasizes that trust, while foundational to society, can be exploited, leading to profound personal and social consequences. Her work underscores the importance of understanding the psychology behind deception and the societal repercussions when trust is broken (44:24; 44:56).

Insights and Conclusions: Lessons from Betrayal

The episode concludes with profound insights into the nature of trust and deception. Abby reflects on her journey, stating, "Instead of covering international relations, today, I mostly report on fraud" (45:03). Her experience with Richard not only altered her career trajectory but also deepened her understanding of human resilience and the complexities of rebuilding trust after betrayal (45:09; 45:36).

Richard, on the other hand, remains unapologetic, viewing his experiences as mere stories rather than acknowledging the profound hurt caused (45:48). This contrast between Abby's introspection and Richard's detachment highlights the varied human responses to betrayal.

Andrea Gunning wraps up the episode by posing a universal question: Why are you sharing your story? Abby's response encapsulates the essence of the episode's message: "It's very important for people to know that they're not alone and that this happens to other people" (43:48; 45:53). Her story serves as both a cautionary tale and a beacon of hope for those navigating the labyrinth of trust and deceit.

Notable Quotes

• Abby Ellen (02:19): "If he can lie about that, he can lie about anything."

• Richard (03:35): "I have been a freelance writer since I'm, like, 22."

• Richard (07:31): "I wanted something that mattered. I wanted something that mattered."

• Abby Ellen (15:21): "Abby was the kid who needed to know how the magic mirror worked. And now with Richard, she wanted to know about his classified military projects."

• Richard (23:36): "So she asked her new professors if this could be true."

• Richard (29:14): "Well, you know, next time why don't you ask them if they can give me a ride so I don't have to call taxis."

• Abby Ellen (43:24): "You can't believe that someone's going to do this to you."

Conclusion

Episode 27 of Betrayal: Weekly offers a compelling narrative that intertwines personal tragedy with broader societal themes. Through Abby Ellen's relentless pursuit of the truth, listeners gain a nuanced understanding of how trust can be manipulated and the arduous path to healing after betrayal. This episode not only recounts a gripping story but also serves as a testament to human resilience and the enduring quest for truth.

For more episodes and stories of betrayal and resilience, be sure to subscribe to Betrayal: Weekly on Apple Podcasts, the iHeartRadio app, or your preferred podcast platform. Share your own stories of betrayal and resilience by emailing betrayalpodmail.com, and you might be featured in a future bonus episode.