Betrayal Season 5, Episode 7: "Not Alone | Saskia's Story"

Podcast by iHeartPodcasts and Glass Podcasts
Aired: March 12, 2026

Episode Overview

This powerful episode of Betrayal pivots from Saskia’s ongoing fight for justice to reveal a devastating truth: what happened to her is not unique. Host Andrea Gunning spotlights the larger, emerging crime of intimate partner sexual assault often involving covert drugging and the non-consensual recording and sharing of victims’ images and videos. Through the accounts of four survivors—Saskia, Ember, Natalie, and Stephanie—the show dismantles the myth of the “perfect victim,” explores why these crimes remain hidden, and assembles a survivor roundtable to discuss the need for community, systemic failures, and healing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Waking Up to a Hidden Crime (02:35–05:14)

• Connecting Cases Across the Globe:
  Gunning references the infamous French case of Giselle Pellico—her husband drugged and raped her for years, inviting dozens of men to participate. Giselle’s experience helped Saskia realize she wasn’t alone.

  • [03:05, Gunning]: “She never suspected he had anything to do with her symptoms… She only learned the truth when she saw videos of herself being raped.”

• A Growing Pattern:
  Such crimes are now coming to light worldwide, with massive online groups in Germany (70,000+ members on Telegram) and Italy (“Mia Mogli” on Facebook with 32,000+ members) sharing non-consensual images.

• The Road to Visibility:
  Survivors are emerging from the shadows as awareness grows, compelled by headline-making trials and new communities forming online.

Survivor Stories: Beyond Saskia

Ember’s Story (06:57–18:17)

• The Myth of Strength and the Perfect Relationship:
  • [06:57, Ember]: “Everyone described me as, like, just a very strong individual. … If you’re strong, you’re not going to fall prey to that kind of thing.”
• Red Flags Missed:
  Ember, a devout Christian, believed in abstinence until marriage and trusted her fiancé, John. Trusted by friends, family, and church, no one saw warning signs.
  • [08:20, Ember]: “If there were red flags, this person would point this out. And nobody pulled a red flag out.”
• The Physical and Psychological Toll:
  A year of mysterious symptoms—blackouts, chronic pain, hives, migraines—while John was always “comforting” and present.
• A Breakthrough in Therapy:
  In a massage class, Ember’s body reacts—dissociation—prompting an instructor to urge her to ‘look deeper’.
  • [11:30, Ember]: “She’s like, you were somewhere else. You were not present. … Something’s probably really wrong if your psoas is responding in this way.”
• Waking Up to the Nightmare:
  Ember regains consciousness mid-assault by John, who later confesses to the pastor he’d been drugging and raping her weekly.
  • [15:18, Ember]: “He was drugging me and raping me. The pastor goes, how often has this happened? … This has happened probably once a week almost the whole time we’ve been engaged.”
• Desperate for Normalcy and Disclosure from a Therapist:
  John’s therapist breaks confidentiality to warn Ember:
  • [17:31, Therapist, via Ember]: “He’s not a safe person. He’s officially diagnosed as a sociopath, and you should get as far away from him as possible.”
  • [21:47, Ember]: “But it was a godsend…if I hadn’t heard those words, I think I probably would have assumed that everything was going to be okay for a lot longer.”

Natalie’s Story (22:12–30:50)

• Groomed by a ‘Dream Partner’:
  Natalie describes an idyllic relationship with “Stephen”—her best friend’s older brother, “a dream, dad,” and attentive partner.
  • [23:06, Natalie]: “It was very natural, and it was just easy. I felt like we had a really strong foundation.”
• The Shocking Discovery:
  While resetting her son’s tablet, Natalie finds dozens of graphic images and videos documenting her own sexual abuse—often unconscious and while pregnant.
  • [25:42, Natalie]: “You can see his hands, his wedding ring… I am in these images. I’m just, like, horrified because I’m not awake.”
  • One video was posted online under “creeping around without her knowing.”
• Emotional Collapse and Trapped by Circumstances:
  • [28:03, Natalie]: “I remember shutting down and thinking, like, what am I supposed to do? Like, I work two days a week. He’s a hands-on dad. He’s supporting us. I need his help. What am I going to do?”
• Silent Suffering and Escape:
  It takes Natalie over a year to save secretly before she can leave.
  • [30:50, Natalie]: “I was excited and scared and just really proud and thinking, like, okay, this is gonna be really hard. But I told myself that day, I’m gonna do it. This is mine. … This is the first day of the rest of my life.”

Stephanie’s Story (31:48–34:08)

• The Devastation of Discovery:
  Married 23 years, Stephanie discovers her husband’s Flickr account filled with nude photos of her, posted for voyeuristic strangers.
  • [32:44, Stephanie]: “He explained that he puts the picture up in a chat room. … As they come in and out, these other men are explaining how they would rape me.”
• The Unique Horror of Betrayal by a Loved One:
  • [33:40, Stephanie]: “When you go home at the end of the day and you crawl into bed with the man that you love, that should be the safest place you’ll ever be in the world. I found out that that was the most dangerous place that I had ever been.”
• Losses Beyond Comprehension:
  Stephanie lost not just her husband but job, home, community, trust, and any sense of safety.

Isolation and Shame: The Universality of the Experience (34:08–35:29)

• Overwhelming Loneliness:
  • [34:38, Survivor]: “Nobody that I knew had been through anything similar. So even though I had all these people around, I still felt so alone and like a freak.”
  • [34:53, Ember]: “It is such an isolating experience to feel like nobody else can relate to what I’ve been through.”

Survivor Roundtable: Community, Justice, and Healing (38:36–45:01)

Forming a Community

• The Pain of Not Being Believed or Supported:
  • [40:13, Saskia]: “When I did try to reach out for help, I felt like because it was such a unique experience, nobody really wanted to touch it with a ten foot pole.”
  • [40:40, Stephanie]: “It’s like, wow, you did this to the person you’re supposed to love most in the world.”
• Doubting Yourself:
  • [41:09, Ember]: “I felt a lot like you did, Stephanie, of like, clearly my ability to judge is broken.”
• It’s Not the Victim — It’s the Offender:
  • [41:29, Stephanie]: “It’s not my gut that’s broken, it’s him that’s broken.”

Tactics of Perpetrators: Normalization and Gaslighting

• “Everyone does this” Defense:
  • [41:49, Natalie]: “He sort of normalized that… There’s more than just this site or there’s a lot of people doing it like it’s normal.”
  • [42:05, Stephanie]: “My husband actually said to me, you know, other wives just participate in this… Well, not me.”
  • [42:24, Stephanie]: “They’re trying to normalize their behavior and make us feel like we’re the one that’s wrong.”
  • [42:15, Ember]: “It’s almost like, because you don’t want to participate, this is happening to you.”

Legal System: Barriers and Shame

• Re-Traumatization and Self-Blame:
  • [42:37, Saskia]: “It’s so re-traumatizing to have to then put your life on display… I had no idea how shamed I would be in the process.”
  • [43:02, Stephanie]: “I didn’t have what it takes to sit there and to be shamed and have every decision in my life looked at 100%.”
  • [43:24, Ember]: “One of the hardest parts that I still carry a lot of shame about is that I didn’t have what it took to batter back against the justice system… There’s nothing we can do about it.”
• Economic Dependence and Loss of Control:
  • [44:06, Natalie]: “I try to remind myself… it was the best decision at the time that I made. … I was financially dependent on him as well.”
• Judgment from Others for Not Pressing Charges:
  • [44:31, Ember]: “If your answer is no, automatically you lose credibility. If you really did that to you, you would have pressed charges is essentially what people believe.”
• Impossibly Low Conviction Rates:
  Rainn’s Megan Cutter offers stark statistics:
  • [45:01, Cutter, paraphrased]: 98% of perpetrators walk free. For every 1,000 sexual assaults, only 25 perpetrators are incarcerated.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Betrayal at Home:

• Stephanie (33:40):
  “When you go home at the end of the day and you crawl into bed with the man that you love, that should be the safest place you’ll ever be in the world. I found out that that was the most dangerous place that I had ever been. And that is a real mind fuck.”

On the Courage to Share and Seek Support:

• Saskia (40:13):
  “When I did try to reach out for help, I felt like because it was such a unique experience, nobody really wanted to touch it with a ten foot pole.”
• Stephanie (41:29):
  “Honestly, it has been a real journey for me to get to the point of realizing that it’s not my gut that’s broken, it’s him that’s broken.”
• Ember (34:53):
  “It is such an isolating experience to feel like nobody else can relate to what I’ve been through.”

On Legal and Societal Failures:

• Ember (43:24):
  “I was being drugged and raped, and at one point, I woke up at attack. And I remember going to law enforcement… and they’re like, well, if it’s been two days, the drugs are out of your system. And it’s really a he said, she said situation. … Like, we can’t prove anything.”

On the Desire for Connection:

• Stephanie (35:03):
  “To connect with somebody else who says, ‘I get it. I see you.’ It’s a gift.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:35–05:14 — Global pattern of intimate partner sexual assault, the French "Giselle Pellico" case
• 06:57–18:17 — Ember's story: assault, discovery, aftermath
• 22:12–30:50 — Natalie's story: discovery via technology, isolation, escape
• 31:48–34:08 — Stephanie's story: online exposure, trauma’s aftermath
• 34:08–35:29 — The intense isolation of survivors
• 38:36–45:01 — Survivor roundtable: community, justice, shame, systems

Survivor Resources

• RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network):
  Resources, confidential support: rainn.org/betrayal
  Text HOPE to 64673 or call 1-800-656-HOPE

Episode Tone & Takeaways

The tone throughout is compassionate, raw, and unflinching. The survivors’ voices—authentic, occasionally halting or choked—confront listeners with the complexity of betrayal, the struggle for justice, and the desperate hope for understanding and solidarity. The show actively dismantles the illusion of the “perfect victim,” stressing that these crimes transcend backgrounds and that community and public awareness are the first steps toward meaningful action and healing.

Next episode preview:
The series will explore why legal recourse is so often out of reach for survivors—even when crimes are blatant and horrifying.

“You are not alone.” (RAINN, Betrayal Team)