S4: EP 2 — Cat and Mouse

Summary

Betrayal: Season 4, Episode 2 — "Cat and Mouse"

Release Date: May 29, 2025
Host: Andrea Gunning
Produced by iHeartPodcasts and Glass Podcasts

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Overview

In the second episode of Season 4, titled "Cat and Mouse," Betrayal delves deeper into the unraveling of Karoline Borega's seemingly perfect marriage to Joel Kern, a respected Colorado Springs Police Lieutenant. This episode meticulously traces the discovery of Joel's deceit, the ensuing internal investigations, and the profound impact on their family.

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The Spark of Suspicion [03:16 - 06:05]

Andrea Gunning sets the stage by recapping the dramatic events that unfolded on April 11, 2022—referred to by Karoline and her children as "D Day." The episode begins with Joel's abrupt admission via text:

Joel Kern [03:51]: "Caught receiving oral sex from two women in my cop car. I lied about it during an internal affairs investigation. I am now pending termination."

This revelation shatters the family's facade of perfection. Karoline recalls the moment she sensed something amiss:

Karoline Baraga [04:03]: "My mom called me to follow her into the bathroom... I said, 'Is Daddy okay?'"

The day started ordinarily, but a series of unsettling interactions and Joel's evasive behavior hinted at underlying turmoil.

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The Unveiling of Joel's Misconduct [06:22 - 14:10]

The narrative takes a pivotal turn as Andrea introduces an internal affairs investigation into Joel's conduct. An unaffiliated stranger confronts Joel at his home, accusing him of infidelity, which Joel vehemently denies. This confrontation catalyzes further scrutiny:

Joel Kern [10:36]: "I don't even know these people. I don't know what they're talking about... I just don't understand why this couldn't have been a preliminary inquiry."

Joel's frustration with the investigation process becomes evident as he grapples with the possibility of false accusations or impersonation. However, evidence surfaces that substantiates Karoline's claims, including audio recordings from Internal Affairs and testimonies from multiple women.

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Past Shadows and Double Lives [19:25 - 35:34]

Joel's manipulative behavior isn't confined to his recent affairs. Andrea reveals past incidents where Joel exploited his authority, particularly during his tenure as a temporary Public Information Officer. An internal investigation from 2019 uncovers Joel's inappropriate conduct with female reporters, highlighting a pattern of abuse of power:

Reporter [29:25]: "He encouraged me to get the WhatsApp so that we could communicate in a way that his phone would be more secure from the police department."

Joel's defense crumbles under scrutiny, culminating in his public admission of wrongdoing during an internal affairs interview:

Joel Kern [36:06]: "I'm embarrassed. I'm humiliated. I'm ashamed. I know what I did was wrong... I take full responsibility for my actions, and I ask for mercy."

Despite his confessions, Joel's explanations reveal layers of deceit, indicating that his actions were not isolated incidents but part of a broader pattern of manipulation and betrayal.

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The Breaking Point [36:32 - 50:54]

April 11, 2022, becomes the day of reckoning for Karoline and her children. Joel's confession to his family is fraught with emotional turmoil and contradiction:

Karoline Baraga [36:56]: "He said, 'I was just astonished that you could do this to our family...'"

The family's confrontation with Joel exposes the depth of his betrayals, shattering their perception of him and their marital bond. As Caroline delves deeper into Joel's digital footprint, she uncovers a multitude of deceitful interactions, far exceeding the initial two affairs.

Caroline Baraga [47:02]: "Suddenly, through our daughter's forensic reveal of his computer, the number of people he had sex with just started growing dramatically."

The emotional strain leads to threats of divorce and the realization that Joel's duplicity extends beyond mere infidelity to a sustained campaign of gaslighting and manipulation:

Caroline Baraga [50:22]: "I'm not naive to the fact that all of us are human... But to me, there's a clear line here between being a fallible person and monstrosity."

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Impact on the Family and Future Revelations [50:54 - End]

As the episode draws to a close, Karoline grapples with the dual realities of her life—the surface-level harmony and the hidden chaos Joel orchestrated. Her children confront the painful truth, leading to strained relationships and shattered trust.

Son [50:22]: "I'm not naive to the fact that all of us are human... But to me, there's a clear line here between being a fallible person and monstrosity."

The episode sets the stage for future revelations, hinting at deeper layers of Joel's deception and the ongoing struggle for the family to reclaim their lives.

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Conclusion

"Cat and Mouse" masterfully portrays the intricate web of deceit spun by Joel Kern, highlighting the devastating effects of betrayal on a family. Through compelling interviews, internal affairs recordings, and personal accounts, the episode underscores the complexities of trust, accountability, and healing in the wake of profound betrayal.

Notable Quotes:

• Joel Kern [36:06]: "I'm embarrassed. I'm humiliated. I'm ashamed. I know what I did was wrong... I take full responsibility for my actions, and I ask for mercy."

• Caroline Baraga [47:02]: "Suddenly, through our daughter's forensic reveal of his computer, the number of people he had sex with just started growing dramatically."

• Son [50:22]: "I'm not naive to the fact that all of us are human... But to me, there's a clear line here between being a fallible person and monstrosity."

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Additional Information

• Follow the Series: To dive deeper into Karoline's journey and the unraveling of Joel's betrayal, ensure you listen to the subsequent episodes of Betrayal Season 4.

• Connect with the Hosts: Follow Andrea Gunning and the Betrayal team on Instagram @betrayalpod and @andreaghunning for exclusive content and updates.

• Support the Show: Subscribe to Betrayal on Apple Podcasts and leave a 5-star review to support the series.

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Betrayal continues to explore the intricate dynamics of trust and deception, offering listeners a poignant look into the complexities of familial bonds and personal integrity.

Transcript

[Caroline Baraga]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

I'm Embarrassed. I'm humiliated. I'm ashamed. I know what I did was wrong. I'm very sorry for it. Again, I take full responsibility for my actions, and I ask for mercy.

[Andrea Gunning]

I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is betrayal. Season 4, Episode 2 Cat and Mouse in the last episode, we met Caroline Baraga and learned about her husband, former Colorado Springs police Lieutenant Joel Kern. On the outside, they were the perfect American family. Then, on April 11, 2022, Joel detonated a bomb on his life. A bomb that would destroy his family. It started with a text he sent to his wife that read, I was.

[Caroline Baraga]

Caught receiving oral sex from two women in my cop car. I lied about it during an internal affairs investigation. I am now pending termination.

[Andrea Gunning]

April 11 is now called D Day by Caroline and her kids. Here's Caroline and Joel's daughter, Nicole.

[Caroline Baraga]

That evening, I had a lacrosse game, and so I started kind of getting ready for my lacrosse game.

[Andrea Gunning]

It started as a normal day, but it soon would become an inflection point.

[Caroline Baraga]

My mom called me to follow her into the bathroom, and I don't even remember what she was doing. Maybe taking down her hair from her updo. She just was acting off. And so. So I said, what's wrong? And she didn't respond.

[Andrea Gunning]

She was scared something was wrong. Did something happen?

[Caroline Baraga]

And then I said, is Daddy okay?

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline was at a loss for words. They all lived with the fear that one day Joel wouldn't come home from work. But Joel wasn't injured or killed in the line of duty. Still, nothing was okay. Caroline and Joel's son was a freshman in college, far from home.

[Caroline Baraga]

I get a call from my sister, and so I send it to voicemail. I get another call, and then I hit the text to reply. And I say, I'm about to walk into a chemistry med term. Can I call you after? And she texted back, no, it's an emergency. So I pick up the phone and I call her. And I remember my mom and my sister shaken up in tears.

[Andrea Gunning]

The family met in the living room. Nicole and Caroline sat on the couch. Caroline and Joel's son was on speakerphone, and Joel stood in front of the fireplace. It was the most bizarre family meeting he could imagine. It felt like someone else's life. But no, it was happening in their home.

[Caroline Baraga]

Our daughter's sitting right next to me. Our son's on the phone, and the three of us are just in hysterics. You can hear our son hysterically crying. Our daughter's hysterically crying. And I said, you need to tell the kids what's going on?

[Andrea Gunning]

What was going on? Well, to understand the events of April 11, 2022, we need to go back a few months prior to February 5th. That day, a stranger showed up on Caroline and Joel's doorstep. Joel was home and answered the door. The whole interaction happened to be recorded. The sound isn't great, but you'll get the gist of it. And we've distorted the stranger's voice to protect his privacy.

[Caroline Baraga]

Nice dogs, man. Oh, hey, man's. Your wife home by chance? What is that? You know who I am? No. See, that's my wife out there. The one that you fucked in your cruiser.

[Andrea Gunning]

What are you talking about?

[Caroline Baraga]

I'm not here to harass you, but I'm saying Joel. Yeah. I'm talking about you.

[Andrea Gunning]

Okay.

[Caroline Baraga]

My wife. Okay. My wife is there. Okay? I wouldn't want to know if you know her. I have no idea who you're talking about. And if that's the case, then I.

[Andrea Gunning]

Owe you an apology.

[Caroline Baraga]

I'm not. Like I said, I'm not here to cause wrongs. Do you want me to leave? Well, then why are you here? So if you don't know my property. Hey, like I said, I'm not here to harass you. I will. That's not what I'm trying to do. I just wanted to know. You know my wife. No, I don't. I know you're a cop and all that stuff, man. I know that, but that's not cool that. That's not cool. I just want you to stay away from my wife. You can't even look me in the face and tell me you made a mistake. I don't even know who she is. I don't even know who she is.

[Andrea Gunning]

So, please.

[Caroline Baraga]

I thought you wouldn't be able to look at me, man to man, and say, yeah, I did fuck your wife. I'm sorry for ruining your marriage. No, I'm not. You need to check your wife out, because I'm not doing anything.

[Andrea Gunning]

And with that, the couple took off. And Joel was left alone to contemplate what just happened. This man managed to find his house and came right to his front door. Caroline had been out on a run and missed the whole confrontation by minutes. But Joel wasn't home alone. Nicole was in the basement just doing her homework.

[Caroline Baraga]

Usually, I would have went up and just saw who was at the door with him, but for whatever reason, I just continued to do my homework. And so later on, I asked him, you know, who was at the door? And then he just said, like, some solicitors.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel carried on as if nothing happened. In fact, later that night, Joel and Caroline went to a party. He also never mentioned the confrontation to his family.

[Caroline Baraga]

It was a Yellowstone theme party. And I'm throwing on a blonde wig, pretending to be Beth, and got him a beard to be ripped. We left, and we were going to a friend's house who we had been to their home hundreds of times, and he pulled up to the wrong house. And I said, what are you doing? And so he was like, what do you mean? And I said, you pulled up to the wrong house. He said, oh, I. I didn't know that. And so, you know, we back out, go to the right house, okay?

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline laughed it off in the moment. Looking back now, she sees that Joel's mind was somewhere else that night. But there was bad news for Joel. The stranger who came to his door made another stop that day. After he pulled out of Joel's driveway, he and his wife drove straight to the Colorado Springs Police Department, or cspd, and filed an official complaint against Joel. After all, an officer having sex in his police car while on duty would be a major professional violation. We filed an open records request so we could get those investigation records. Over the past year, we received hundreds of pages from cspd, all relating to Joel Kern. We were also given actual audio recordings from the investigation. What you're about to hear is from one of those recordings. It's Joel's boss, Commander Strossner, being interviewed by Internal affairs about Joel's alleged misconduct.

[Caroline Baraga]

How did you become aware of this investigation? Can you kind of walk me through that? About February 7th, I got a call just advising me that there was an internal complaint that was filed over the weekend regarding Lieutenant Kern possibly having sex in the back of his vehicle.

[Andrea Gunning]

Strossner was one of the first people Joel went to when he heard about the complaint.

[Caroline Baraga]

He adamantly denies anything happened. He goes, I don't even know these people. I don't know what they're talking about. I haven't seen him before. There's no way I would do that in a police car. He goes, made the statement of, I didn't have sex in the back of my car when I was in high school or college. I'm sure as the heck not gonna do that now kind of thing. Very visibly upset, almost in tears, and just really angry about how somebody could file a false complaint and turn his entire world upside down and his family upside down. So he was really upset and really pissed off.

[Andrea Gunning]

But was his rage really directed at the couple for making the complaint, or was it directed at the Internal Affairs Department for taking the complaint seriously. Joel was an experienced, respected police lieutenant. This investigation threatened to take all that away.

[Caroline Baraga]

He goes, I just don't understand why this couldn't have been a preliminary inquiry. I tell you no. And this thing will be closed.

[Andrea Gunning]

A preliminary inquiry is like an initial check to see if there's any valid reason to suspect that the officer has done something wrong. Internal affairs can then decide to move forward with the investigation or close the matter.

[Caroline Baraga]

I said, look, Joel, you know why it couldn't have been a preliminary inquiry. They got to go through the process.

[Andrea Gunning]

Let's be clear, what the complaint was alleging was no ordinary affairs. They were claiming police misconduct. An officer abusing his badge, having sex in a taxpayer funded vehicle on the public's time and in public. Remember, Joel had worked in Internal affairs years earlier. He understood how it operated. Ironically, he had worked in the department with Commander Strossner.

[Caroline Baraga]

So they have to do a thing, a thorough job. And he's like, yeah, I get it. But he was very angry.

[Andrea Gunning]

But Strossner also gave Joel some reassurance.

[Caroline Baraga]

I said, look, I have no reason not to believe anything that you're telling me because if you didn't do this, as you're saying, either one of two things, they're completely lying and they need to be charged with false reporting or somebody's impersonating you. We need to get to the end of that. And so we got to do this thoroughly. And I'm going to make sure I stay in contact with Internal affairs to make sure it's a complete and thorough investigation.

[Andrea Gunning]

Strossner could tell that Joel was distraught. This was a serious matter. Someone could be filing a false report or impersonating him. Stroessner assured Joel that if someone was victimizing him, they would be held accountable. To complete the investigation, the second, CSPD took Joel's police vehicle and his department issued phone.

[Caroline Baraga]

If it was me in his shoes, and as he's saying, all of it is fabricated, I would be incredibly upset and angry. And to me it seemed very genuine and authentic. I mean, I got no reason to doubt what he's saying.

[Andrea Gunning]

This was recorded in February 2022. The investigation into Joel had been going on for two months. Two months where he knew his life was on the brink of collapse. Meanwhile, Caroline was completely in the dark. Joel didn't tell her about the man on their doorstep or the misconduct investigation. It seemed like Joel thought that with his rank and years of service, he would be able to talk his way out of this. But the CSPD was taking it seriously. They went ahead and looked for any evidence that would support the couple's claim. And that included interviewing the man and his wife? Yes, the couple who showed up at Joel's door agreed to cooperate. So Internal affairs sat with the woman Joel adamantly denied ever seeing before. Here are some of that interview.

[Caroline Baraga]

Okay. This is Lieutenant Rafiel Chansai with the Colorado Springs Police Department, Internal affairs section. Today is February 17, 2022. Also present is General Affairs Sergeant Drew Jeltis.

[Andrea Gunning]

Lieutenant Chanza asked the woman about how she met Joel. She explained it was on a fetish and King social network called FetLife.com and as a note, we've altered the voices of all the civilians interviewed by CSPD to protect their privacy.

[Caroline Baraga]

What was it that initially drew your attention to the person we're talking about today? He contacted me. Just like Facebook has Messenger, there's a messenger within it.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel had suggested that they meet at a public park.

[Caroline Baraga]

I drove in my vehicle to go meet him. When I got to the location, which was Memorial park, he was in what looked like an unmarked police car. I imagine the first question would be, how would I know that? I've got a number of officers in my family who I've seen their unmarked vehicles. I do know what they look like. He could see I was nervous, I was shaken, and at that point it probably should have stopped. Did the two of you have anything in common? Any fetishes as you described them, that kind of made you kind of continue the conversation? Yes. He was into domination and I was into submission. He told me that he would enjoy spanking me and fisting me and choking me and pulling my hair. So what leads you to believe that this person was a police officer? The state he was. Can you tell us a little more about that? He eventually told me his name and, you know, eventually told me that he was a police officer with Springs. Police told me he did traffic investigations. So when he told you his name, what name did he give you?

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel Kerr.

[Caroline Baraga]

Were you physically harmed in any way. I know you said bruised. Were you harmed in any way during this encounter? I mean, I was bruised and that's about the extent of it. The damage I'll suffer is on me. Was there any aspect of this meeting that was non consensual from your perspective? No. This isn't about digging into his life and trying to harm him. It is simply about, as an officer, he should not be using his vehicle to have what I imagine is probably not the first rendezvous. What makes you say that you believe this wasn't his first, because he discussed enjoying having meetups such as this.

[Andrea Gunning]

This woman had come to regret her actions and confessed to her husband. She gave her husband access to her computer and all her passwords. She was remorseful about the encounter and took responsibility for her part in it. The woman fully disclosed her actions to her husband and agreed to accompany him to Joel's house. However, as you heard, things didn't go as planned. They, of course, reported him. The woman's story was credible. And when police searched Joel's phone and computer, they found evidence supporting her story. And then they identified another woman Joel had met up with. He planned this one on his work phone, but it seemed like he forgot to delete a few messages from the exchange. This woman had also met Joel on FetLife. Although she was cooperative, she seemed less eager to discuss the encounter. An Internal affairs sergeant contacted her by phone.

[Caroline Baraga]

So you started talking, you think, online in August 2021. You spoke on the phone. He would call you, and you spoke through WhatsApp. When's the first time you said you met? When's the first time you actually met in person? I believe it was. He was at conference in Denver, and we just met briefly when he was on his way back, like the last day that he was going back to the Springs.

[Andrea Gunning]

The woman and Joel had talked and texted for several weeks. He had attended a work conference in Denver. After talking online and on the phone, there was an opening to meet up on the way back from the conference. They met in the parking lot of a sporting goods store. But here was the information Internal affairs was really after. Had Joel used his police car to have sex with her? And was it while he was on duty?

[Caroline Baraga]

Was there anything in that vehicle that made you think that it was probably not his personal vehicle? The radio, a police radio scanner or.

[Andrea Gunning]

Whatever you call them.

[Caroline Baraga]

You got into a silver suv. You don't remember the make or model, but you believe it was a police vehicle because it has a radio in it. Uh huh. Maybe there for 20 to 30 minutes. And you engaged in vaginal sex in the backseat of that vehicle? Yes. And other than that, there was no other meetings. You've still talked as friends, but no sex? No, no. And let me ask this. I was reading through some text messages between you and Joel, and one of them says, like, something about there's been some drama and I've deleted everything, not to worry about it. Do you remember that text thread? Yes, I do. What was that about? I mean, he. He told me that there was something going on. He didn't really go into detail, but I guess I wasn't surprised when I got your message yesterday.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

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[Andrea Gunning]

Despite Joel's adamant denials, it appeared he had in fact had sex in his police vehicle during work hours. CSPD conducted a full investigation. Internal affairs even ordered a forensic analysis of the car's interior. They determined that the complaint was true. Joel had been having sex with women in his police car in public on company time. On April 11, Joel was summoned to a meeting with his commander. And you'll hear that meeting in a later episode. And it was on that day that he could no longer hide the investigation from Caroline and their kids. In the early evening on April 11, 2022, Joel was home with his family. Caroline and Nicole sat huddled together on the living room sofa. There were tears, accusations, and grief. Their son was on speakerphone from college. Alternating between anguish and disgusting.

[Caroline Baraga]

As he sat in our home, he swore up and down to the kids. It was only two times. It was only these two people. That's it. It was only these two people.

[Andrea Gunning]

He was only admitting to what the CSPD had already uncovered. Meanwhile, he told his family a tearful story about what happened.

[Caroline Baraga]

He said, I started going down a rabbit hole online when I worked at night, and I would see these different websites, and out of curiosity, I started corresponding with different people on different websites. And that's how I met these two people. It was only these two times. It was only these two times. I was just astonished that he could do this to our family. All I could keep saying was, how could you do this to my mom and my sister? How could you do this? You know, it's one thing to try to digest that when you have just been betrayed by your spouse, but sit here and watch your kids, it's just a completely different level.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel insisted that he only had been unfaithful with two people. But Caroline wasn't naive. She knew there had to be more.

[Caroline Baraga]

You know, I had enough sense to say if I secure a divorce attorney and they were to do an open records request, Act. What else would they find in your file? And he looked terrified.

[Andrea Gunning]

With Caroline's words still hanging in the air, Joel dropped another bombshell. Back in episode one, we learned he'd been tapped for one of the department's most sought after roles, the public information officer. He'd be the face of the department, the media liaison, the voice. He'd already done the job temporarily. Then out of nowhere, the offer vanished.

[Caroline Baraga]

He said, I had a falling out with the chief. And I said, you had a falling out with the chief of police? And he said, I had a falling out with him, and he's taken away my opportunity to be the public information officer.

[Andrea Gunning]

But that had been a lie. There hadn't been an issue with the chief. The issue had been with Joel.

[Caroline Baraga]

He did not get the public information officer position because of sexual harassment.

[Andrea Gunning]

While Joel served as temporary public information officer in 2016, he asked female reporters to use an encrypted app to communicate with him. And what he said there unnerved the reporters. When one reporter heard Joel Kern was going to be appointed the permanent public information officer in 2019, she was alarmed and wrote a letter. Here's how it began. To the Colorado Springs Police Department. I'm writing to voice my concerns about naming Lt. Joel Kern the next PIO. To accuse anyone of inappropriate behavior is a risk, but to accuse an officer, especially one that controls which media members get information and how fast, could be career suicide. But that is what most emboldened me to voice my concerns now. This letter led to Joel Kern's first internal affairs investigation for sexually harassing female news reporters. The CSPD started by interviewing the reporter that wrote the letter.

[Caroline Baraga]

This is Commander Tish Osewski with Colorado Springs Police Department Internal affairs section. Today is February 7, 2019.

[Andrea Gunning]

Internal affairs asked the reporter about the app Joel asked her to download.

[Caroline Baraga]

He encouraged me to get the WhatsApp so that we could communicate in a way that his phone would be more secure from the police department, as in, if he was giving me tips of some sort so that it would be encrypted and it would be on his personal phone, it couldn't be taken, that kind of stuff. He never explicitly said, do you want to do anything with me? Or like, he never explicitly asked me out or, you know, things like that. Nature. It was all very sneaky and about interpretation. What do you mean by sneaky? Sneaky as in he would use words that would be suggestive or language that would be suggestive. And it felt to me like a test to see how I took it. He brought up sexual relations with his wife. And again, I don't remember exactly what was said, but I remember that he was on vacation or at his son's base or not baseball, but some kind of sporting event away. And he had mentioned, like, something along the lines of, you know, maybe I'll get lucky, or when you have kids, the only time you have sex is when you're away, or something like that. That obviously was inappropriate and kind of opened the door if I wanted to talk about sexual relations. You had wrote that this became obvious that the friendlier I was, the more beneficial it could be. So tell me about this. So what do you mean by friendlier? If I would have accepted his advances or been sexual in return or, you know, when I explained, I felt like he's opened the door to talk about my sexual life. If I would have done that kind of stuff, like, just given that green light that I'm okay with this behavior. Okay, so what was the benefit? The benefit was the whole point in telling us, telling me to get WhatsApp was, you know, this was a way for him to give us tips. So the benefit was if we're friendly, if we have this good relationship, then he would give us good scoops and tips about things going on in the police department.

[Andrea Gunning]

The reporter knew of other women who felt the same way, but they either decided it was too risky to complain or felt it didn't rise to the level of needing to report. So without any other complaints, the investigation was relatively thin, and it looked like Joel was going to talk his way out of this one. We actually received the recording of Joel doing exactly that.

[Caroline Baraga]

This is Commander Tish Oski with Color Springs Police Department Professional staff, Andrews Division. Today is February 11, 2019. I am interviewing Lieutenant Joel Kern in regards to Internal Affairs Case 19 030.

[Andrea Gunning]

Olshefski asked Joel to explain why he had urged reporters to download WhatsApp, an encrypted app that his supervisors couldn't monitor. This was a violation of department rules, and Joel knew it.

[Caroline Baraga]

At the time, there was, like, this big thing in the media about, you know, stories being leaked and released. And then there's different apps that people communicate to reporters about to be, like, a safe method of communication with the reporters or whatever. Safe meaning, like, secure.

[Andrea Gunning]

At first, Joel said it was for security, but the IA officer wasn't buying that.

[Caroline Baraga]

I guess I don't understand. If you're worried about stories leaking, why was it only these two women? Well, I mean, I see where you're going with that. And again, it's because I was communicating with them the most, like, when I was always asking the questions the most. I don't think it was anything that would be like a targeting thing or anything like that. Were you trying to just target? And when you say target, I mean, I think get more friendlier with those two, maybe hoping it might go somewhere. I think if I was honest with myself, then I would say, yeah, that would be an accurate statement. Are they young? Are they old or middle aged? I guess late 20s, early 30s. Okay. Middle age, Joel, is like 50. Okay. Are they attractive? Are they not? Okay, so you were saying that you were singling those two out for the WhatsApp. I mean, that sounds bad, but, yeah, I think that if I'm honest with myself, that would be a fair statement. You know, they're very smart and, like I say, witty, and they're just fun to talk to. And then. So I think then that's where the flirtation came in. And then. And the sexual innuendo, it wouldn't be something that I'd want my wife or kids reading, obviously. So, Joel, when you're talking about the flirtation, was that on your part or whose part was that on? I think it was. I think it was like mutual flirtation, and then things weren't good at home.

[Andrea Gunning]

Right. As the conversation gets to the heart of the issue, his abuse of power, Joel pivots. He wells up with tears and changes the subject to what he's been going through recently.

[Caroline Baraga]

Why did you have these conversations with them? The sexual innuendo conversation? I was in a bad place with my marriage at the time and emotionally. And then I think I got maybe just like, sucked into a trap or reading things into things that were being said that were not really there.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline had no idea her marriage was in a bad Place in 2019. If you remember from episode one, Caroline shared, Joel had a few breakdowns and old ultimately started therapy. He had mentioned witnessing the carnage from fatal accident scenes and his fear about their kids starting to drive. But she'd been there for him, and they worked through it as a couple. As the interview continued, Joel read the room. He realized his best strategy would be to fall on the sword.

[Caroline Baraga]

I'm embarrassed. I'm humiliated. I'm ashamed. I know what I did was wrong. I'm very sorry for it, and I've taken proactive steps to help myself get better again. I take full responsibility for my actions, and I ask for mercy.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel had been on the record pleading for mercy three years before his official suspension, which was on April 11, 2022. And on April 11 the truth was finally being laid bare in their living room. Caroline and their daughter were on the couch and their son was on speakerphone. They listened to Joel confess that he'd been lying and covering his tracks for years.

[Caroline Baraga]

And then he went on a tirade of continuing to blame me and said that he didn't think we had sex enough. And then he started making crass comments about his sexual needs. Our daughter was just wailing and crying and our son hung up. He never removed his wedding ring. He always kept it on. But then he struggled for a long time but finally gets his ring off. Inside of it I had engraved forever and ever, sets it down on the fireplace, walks over and fills up his yeti cup and just walked out the door.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

At California Psychics. We know some people can't read the career warning signs like your boss still not knowing your name.

[Andrea Gunning]

You, Tina, Lisa, Sheila, whatever. Get that report to me by lunch, okay? It's Carrie Ma' am Just get it done. Terry.

[Caroline Baraga]

So talk to California psychics and receive.

[Andrea Gunning]

The career guidance you need.

[Caroline Baraga]

We only connect you with the very best. So guarantee if your reading isn't life changing, it's free. California psychics call 1-800-PREDICT today and get 20 minutes for just $20.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

My name is dawn and I'm a family law attorney.

[Andrea Gunning]

Dawn was a good friend to both Caroline and Joel.

[Caroline Baraga]

I was shocked, absolutely shocked when I heard the news. For me to not even have an inkling of his other side, I guess bothered me because I usually have a pretty good gut feeling about people.

[Andrea Gunning]

Dawn normally made it policy not to represent her friends in a divorce, but she made an exception this time. Not so much for Caroline, but for the kids.

[Caroline Baraga]

The children are very proud of their parents accomplishments. They really appreciated and respected what they did. That was part of their identity, is that their parents were so great. So when this all happened, my inkling for the children was everything that they know, everything that they thought was good and pure or whatever real is not.

[Andrea Gunning]

The kids had to find a way to keep going. Their son wanted to come home from college, but Caroline wouldn't allow it. And their daughter.

[Caroline Baraga]

Everything happened on a Monday. And that Wednesday I took my SATs. I had a plan like I still needed to go to college. So you know, she kind of ingrained, I guess, a sort of motivation where you need to do something, you just get it done.

[Andrea Gunning]

As for Caroline, she was on autopilot. Her friends came to her with some unsettling but important advice.

[Caroline Baraga]

You know, they let me know, you really should set a doctor's appointment to make sure that I don't have anything and have a full STI STD screen. And so I called this facility humiliated, asked if I could schedule an appointment specifically for this. They said yes. And when I walked in, I tried to keep myself together. And then I sat in the exam room, and this nurse practitioner who I had seen dozens of times for my kids sports physicals, she walked in the room and I just immediately lost it. I'm in this exam room, I'm crying, I'm telling her these very personal details, what's just been revealed. And so she does a full exam and she leaves the room. And when she came back in, she just had this horrible, fearful look on her face. And I just was sobbing, and I said, you can tell I have something, can't you? You can already tell I have something, something. And she shook her head and she said no. She was debating on telling me that Joel had essentially been blacklisted from seeing her because he had come in four different appointments before and had been inappropriate with his commentary and very sexualized with his commentary toward her. And I was mortified. And she said, given what I was going through, if she was in my shoes, she'd want to know.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline had asked Joel repeatedly, what else? What else have you done? She didn't want any more surprises. There had to be more than just two affairs. And this experience was confirmation that her instincts were dead on.

[Caroline Baraga]

I was just humiliated hearing from another female that my husband had approached them in a manner that made them feel so uncomfortable that they could not even professionally see him. It was humiliating, absolutely humiliating. I got to the parking lot and I called him and he answered. And I said to him, this is what was just told to me. And he was very calm, and he said, I'm sorry. And I said, you knew this? And he said, yes, they let me know, and I knew how I behaved. And I'm embarrassed. And he was just so matter of fact about it. I was infuriated, absolutely infuriated. And I saw his location and I drove to the campsite where he was at at the RV park.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel was staying in their family RV at a campground.

[Caroline Baraga]

And I just started banging on the door. And he opened the door and I told him, do not lie to me. Do not lie to me. I want to know what you have done. You are someone who I don't even know, and I want to know the secret life that you have lived behind our backs.

[Andrea Gunning]

Nicole was at school when she noticed Caroline's location on their Family Life360 app.

[Caroline Baraga]

I don't really want to have my mom alone with my dad because I was really scared of my dad because I thought, like, he did all this stuff without us knowing. I don't know what he's capable of next Thing you know, there's banging at the door of our rv. She just got up and left her classroom at the high school and drove to where we were at. And as we were sitting there, she walked calmly over to a laptop he had taken from our home.

[Andrea Gunning]

Nicole grabbed Joel's computer and started looking through it, logging onto various websites and reading his emails and text messages. They were there for the truth. All those long nights on duty, what else had Joel been up to? How far did his misconduct go?

[Caroline Baraga]

Suddenly, through our daughter's forensic reveal of his computer, the number of people he had sex with just started growing dramatically.

[Andrea Gunning]

Nicole dialed in her older brother. She wanted him to hear everything. So it became the next family meeting. And then Nicole started recording on her phone. She wanted documentation. She and her mom were running on adrenaline.

[Caroline Baraga]

Cat and mouse, cat and mouse, cat and mouse. You just have to keep being caught. Why can't you just spell it all out? Because I can't remember everything. Because you had so many people. How many people did you talk to? 50? Hundred? What's the range?

[Andrea Gunning]

50 sounds good.

[Caroline Baraga]

How many times did you actually physically meet someone? This is where I'm telling you. Like around 7 to 10.

[Andrea Gunning]

And then another thought I had today.

[Caroline Baraga]

I cannot drive around the city without questioning. I wonder if my dad received oral sex in this parking lot. Remember that day we went to Memorial Park? We looked at the police memorial and all that. He wanted us to see the police memorial. We ran races over by Memorial Park.

[Andrea Gunning]

Memorial park was where Joel met the first woman to have sex in his cop car. Car. At first he denied he was working when they met up, but then.

[Caroline Baraga]

I know I had told you after work earlier, but I'm pretty sure it was like midm morning or lunchtime or whatever. And then went back to work and then worked out and took a shower and all that. So you left work, went and had sex with someone on the city's dime.

[Andrea Gunning]

Everyone thought Joel was one of the good ones, an honorable cop. They had sacrificed so much for his career. She didn't recognize this man. In fact, she didn't recognize her life at all. Her life was now split into two. Two realities running parallel tracks. There were her memories, and then there was everything Joel was doing behind her back. All of those late nights, the missed sports games, the holidays. Where was he? Her brain never went there. She didn't know what was real anymore. It was a sad and terrifying feeling.

[Caroline Baraga]

The kids and I thought we were living this life of love and a family and purity. Were things perfect? Of course not. Did we argue about taking trash out and who was going to pick up from dinner. Yup. But never did I think that anything like this was going on behind our backs ever.

[Andrea Gunning]

So was this finally the full picture? Were all of Joel's secrets out in the open? No, not even close. Here's Caroline and Joel's son.

[Caroline Baraga]

I'm not naive to the fact that all of us are human and everybody makes mistakes and everybody has their shortcomings and everybody has flaws and demons that they cope with. But to me, there's a clear line here between being a fallible person and monstrosity.

[Andrea Gunning]

On the next episode of Betrayal, Caroline comes to the realization that Joel has been gaslighting her for years.

[Caroline Baraga]

I'm literally watching the phone where I can see him speeding to our house. He's not at another accident, he's not at the hospital. He's coming from somewhere. And so when he got home, I said, are you lying to me?

[Andrea Gunning]

And more revelations about his double life are exposed. Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season four. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email [e-mail] that's betrayalpodmail.com also please be sure to follow us on Instagram, betrayalpod and me, Andreah Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates. One way to support the series is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal 5 star reviews. Help us know you appreciate what we do. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison. Betrayal is hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced, produced by Kerry Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producers are Caitlin golden and Kristin Melchiori. Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Krynczyk. Story editing by Monique Laborde Audio editing and mixing by Matt d' Alvecchio editing by Tanner Robbins and special thanks to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines Music Library pat provided by My Music and for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Your future patients are counting on you and at Ferris State University you'll be ready for them. Healthcare isn't just a career, it's a calling. At Ferris State, you'll find the perfect path to meaningful community service with hands on clinical experience Experience. From day one you'll develop essential skills, get Real world training and support to unleash your potential and change lives every day. Start your healthcare journey at ferris. Edu Ferris State University Healing begins Here.

[Caroline Baraga]

At California Psychics, we know that sometimes you can wake up thinking, I don't know if I'm in the right career ew or the right relationship. But whatever your life dilemma, at California Psychics, we'll give you the guidance you need to feel certain about your life choices. And because we only connect you with the very best, we guarantee if your reading isn't life changing, it's free. California psychics. Visit CaliforniaPsychics. Visit CaliforniaPsychics.com today for limited time offers. All right, listen up people.

[Andrea Gunning]

It is Chelsea Handler and we need to talk about something really important. Orgasms.

[Caroline Baraga]

You heard me right.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Baraga]

This is an iHeart podcast.