S4: EP 5 — Fantasy Land

Summary

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Betrayal: Season 4, Episode 5 — "Fantasy Land" Summary

Release Date: June 19, 2025
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts and Glass Podcasts
Title: Betrayal: Season 4
Episode: S4: EP 5 — "Fantasy Land"

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Introduction

In "Fantasy Land," the fifth episode of Season 4 of Betrayal, host Andrea Gunning delves deeper into the unraveling of Lieutenant Joel Kern, a Colorado Springs Police Department officer whose double life threatened both his career and marriage. This episode chronicles the intense personal and professional fallout following revelations of Joel's misconduct, painting a vivid picture of betrayal, resilience, and the quest for truth.

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Background: A Life Built on Honor

Karoline Borega married Joel Kern, a respected police officer, believing in the integrity and honor he represented. For over two decades, Karoline supported Joel’s demanding career, understanding the sacrifices it entailed. However, in early 2022, Joel’s seemingly impeccable life began to crumble when allegations of misconduct surfaced.

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The Unraveling: Allegations and Investigation

The episode picks up from the previous installment, referencing internal affairs investigations into Joel's behavior. Initially, Joel seemed cooperative, signing an agreement to be truthful during his interviews. Yet, as Andrea Gunning reveals, Joel’s facade began to crack under scrutiny.

Notable Quote:

"[04:20] Caroline: 'Quite frankly, the legislative intent is very clear that we cannot allow peace officers to remain employed when they've lied during an IA investigation. I have no option but to recommend your termination.'"

This statement from Caroline underscores the gravity of Joel’s actions and the immediate consequences they faced within the police department.

Despite the mounting evidence, Joel managed to delay his termination by seeking inpatient treatment for PTSD, hoping to salvage his career and marriage.

Notable Quote:

"[05:56] Andrea Gunning: Laguna Beach is in Southern California, about 90 minutes south of Los Angeles. When you first see the homepage of the rehabilitation facility, you're greeted by stunning blue green water stretching against golden sand. It looks luxurious, and of course, it's not cheap, but Joel and Caroline wouldn't pay a dime."

Joel's strategic move to enter rehab was portrayed as both a genuine attempt at rehabilitation and a calculated effort to buy time.

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Struggles at Home: Trust and Desperation

As Joel undergoes treatment, the strain on his family becomes palpable. Caroline grapples with mixed emotions, balancing between hope for Joel’s recovery and skepticism about his true intentions.

Notable Quote:

"[08:06] Caroline: 'I want to get better. I need to go do this. I want to get better.'"

Joel’s repeated assurances of wanting to change provided fleeting moments of hope for Karoline and their daughter, Nicole.

Nicole, witnessing her parents' turmoil, begins to confront the reality of her father’s actions, leading to strained relationships and emotional turmoil.

Notable Quote:

"[08:25] Podcast Host: 'There was this period where my mom was thinking, like, maybe he'll get better. Like trying to work through it and trying to like maybe start fresh with him.'"

Nicole’s perspective adds depth to the narrative, highlighting the broader impact of Joel’s betrayal on the entire family.

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Revelations: Uncovering Hidden Affairs

The crux of "Fantasy Land" lies in the revelation of Joel’s extended affairs, which go beyond the initial allegations.

Notable Quote:

"[27:48] Caroline: 'He said that he had been having an affair with her since our son graduated from high school. It started because she reached out to him and congratulated him on all of our son's accolades....and he was easy to have sex with. And so he said he started driving to her home at least three times a week and would have sex with her while he was on duty.'"

Caroline discovers through phone records that Joel was not only unfaithful to her but also engaged in multiple affairs over the years, including with the mother of Nicole’s childhood bully and a coworker from the police department.

This discovery marks a pivotal moment in the episode, revealing the depth and persistence of Joel’s deceit.

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Impact: Family and Professional Fallout

The revelations devastate the family, leading to confrontations and emotional breakdowns. Nicole, feeling abandoned and betrayed, distances herself from Joel, while Caroline grapples with the reality of her crumbling marriage.

Notable Quote:

"[29:36] Podcast Host: 'So it was just kind of a reality check. Like, my dad just did not care, did not care about his actions and who his actions affect.'"

The professional repercussions for Joel are severe, culminating in his termination from the police department and the inevitability of divorce proceedings.

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Conclusion: Moving Forward Amidst Betrayal

"Fantasy Land" concludes with Joel attempting to sever ties entirely, promising a rebirth of himself after rehab. However, his previous actions and continued dishonesty leave little room for reconciliation.

Notable Quote:

"[43:45] Caroline: 'And he said, you always be the love of my life and I just stared at him and then he said, I hope you know I love you more than anything in this world and I always will. And all I could say back was okay. And we parted ways and that was the last time we saw each other and probably ever will.'"

This poignant farewell encapsulates the finality of Joel’s betrayal and the irreversible damage inflicted upon his family.

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Key Themes and Insights

• Betrayal and Deception: Joel’s actions serve as a stark reminder of how deceit can destroy both personal relationships and professional credibility.

• Resilience and Truth-Seeking: Karoline’s relentless pursuit of the truth highlights the importance of resilience in the face of betrayal.

• Familial Impact: The episode underscores how individual actions can ripple through a family, affecting each member uniquely.

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Conclusion

"Fantasy Land" offers a compelling exploration of betrayal’s multifaceted impact on a family, set against the backdrop of a police misconduct investigation. Andrea Gunning skillfully navigates through the emotional and procedural complexities, providing listeners with a nuanced understanding of trust, deception, and the arduous path toward healing.

For those who haven't listened, this episode serves as a powerful testament to the human spirit's capacity to confront and overcome profound betrayal.

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Join the Conversation:
For additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions, subscribe to Beyond Betrayal Substack. Engage with a community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing.

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Transcript

[Podcast Host]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline]

I tell her what he has told me thus far. And she says there's a lot more he's actually said that he's done so much that if you find out everything, there's no way you guys will be able to stay together.

[Andrea Gunning]

I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal. Season four, Episode five Fantasyland. Lieutenant Joel Kern spent years building a successful career with the Colorado Springs Police Department. But in early 2022, it all unraveled after a woman came forward claiming she had sex with him in his patrol car. What started as one allegation quickly ignited a chain reaction, exposing the secret life Kern kept hidden for years. In the last episode of Betrayal, we shared recordings of the CSPD's internal affairs investigation into Joel Kern's police misconduct. After signing an agreement to tell the truth in his interview, Joel continued to lie until investigators presented him with irrefutable evidence. Several weeks later, Joel's commander recommended him for termination.

[Caroline]

Quite frankly, the legislative intent is very clear that we cannot allow peace officers remain employed when they've lied during an IA investigation. I have no option but to recommend your termination.

[Andrea Gunning]

Termination would risk Joel's entire career. It would be more difficult for him to get a job as a police officer ever again. Listening to the interviews in the last episode, it all sounded straightforward, open and shut. But that's not how it all shook out. Joel wasn't fired, and we'll explore what actually happened and why over the next few episodes. Following that meeting, Joel seemed to think that there was still a chance he could save his career. He had one more card to play. Here's Caroline, he said.

[Caroline]

There's a possibility I could save my job and go to an inpatient treatment program that's specific for first responders in Laguna Beach.

[Andrea Gunning]

Unbeknownst to Caroline, Joel had already started making arrangements. While his internal affairs investigation was underway, he went to a psychiatrist. He told her he needed help.

[Caroline]

The psychiatrist said he was under such duress that he really needed to go to inpatient treatment almost immediately. And according to his self report to me and the kids, he was diagnosed with ptsd, and that was his cause and reason for being sent to inpatient rehab.

[Andrea Gunning]

Laguna beach is in Southern California, about 90 minutes south of Los Angeles. When you first see the homepage of the rehabilitation facility, you're greeted by stunning blue green water stretching against golden sand. It looks luxurious, and of course, it's not cheap, but Joel and Caroline wouldn't pay a dime.

[Caroline]

He said the department's going to approve it. They have a connection with them. They'll make arrangements for me to go There it will be paid for. And so I said, but you're pending termination.

[Andrea Gunning]

His termination wasn't official just yet. He was in limbo, awaiting the meeting where the disciplinary ruling would be finalized. So there was still time for one last shot. If he took medical and sick leave, he could delay the disciplinary process. If he could show the department he could change, maybe he could still keep his job.

[Caroline]

Joel thought if he admitted he had a problem and he really committed to treatment, he could turn things around. He absolutely needed to go to rehab to address not only his sex addiction, but because he wanted to make sure that he was doing everything he could to show the department that he was trying to be a healthy person to continue his employment.

[Andrea Gunning]

He also told Caroline that it was a symptom of a larger issue.

[Caroline]

He began to say that he struggled over the past handful of years with just feeling as though he had a sex addiction.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel was in repair mode to save his job and his marriage. He told Caroline he'd fully commit to the treatment program, that he'd address his mistakes head on. As furious as Caroline was, it looked like Joel was finally taking accountability. Maybe being recommended for termination was the wake up call he needed. During this time, Joel swore he was committed to change. He kept repeating the same mantra.

[Caroline]

I want to get better. I need to go do this. I want to get better. I softened a little bit, and when I began to soften, I started having these feelings of, will he get better? Could he get better? What does this look like?

[Andrea Gunning]

Here's Caroline's daughter, Nicole.

[Podcast Host]

There was this period where my mom was thinking, like, maybe he'll get better. And then they could possibly start from scratch and start dating again.

[Andrea Gunning]

There were moments when that possibility felt within reach. Caroline never wanted to lose her family, and Joel was saying all the right things. But Nicole was having her own reckoning about her relationship with her father. Once she understood the depth of her father's betrayal, she reflected on who he had been during her childhood. She started calling him, one on one, sometimes demanding answers, other times simply voicing her anger.

[Podcast Host]

During one of our phone calls, I said something alluding to the fact, like, he never really paid attention to any of us. He never really did things to show appreciation for us.

[Andrea Gunning]

He'd always been less present, put in less effort than Caroline. The family had always chalked it up to his demanding job. Now his daughter was left wondering, maybe that's just who he is. Maybe her dad just didn't care.

[Podcast Host]

But one of the last few times that I saw him before he went to rehab, he came to the house with my mom's coffee order. The way he was at that time, he seemed remorseful.

[Andrea Gunning]

And that remorse gave Caroline the tiniest bit of hope. As Joel prepared to go to rehab, she offered him some grace.

[Caroline]

After a lot of conversation, he and I agreed that he could stay at our home in the guest bedroom before he left for rehab.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel said he would come back from rehab a better man, that he was getting help so he could salvage the family. There was a big piece of Caroline and Nicole that wanted to believe it. But the night before he left for California, Nicole started to question, was her dad actually planning to come back?

[Podcast Host]

He led me downstairs, showed me how to reset the WI fi. He showed me, like, where our air filters are and then how to turn on and off the sprinkler system for our house. It was just a bunch of little things. And I remember thinking like, well, I guess this is it. He's never gonna come back to the house because he was showing his 17 year old daughter had to change out the air filter.

[Andrea Gunning]

There were a lot of conflicting feelings. Whenever Caroline was kind to Joel, Nicole felt protective. On one of his last nights in the house, Caroline made Joel dinner.

[Podcast Host]

Even after all what he did, our mom made him tacos. And I remember feeling so angry because I was like, why are we even letting him stay in the first place? If he doesn't want to show he wants to be with us, just let him figure it out on his own. I was just so frustrated at the situation at hand. Him going to rehab, him doing this to our family, yet my mom is still trying to be a wife. I guess.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was a hard habit to break. Caroline's default mode was to care for her family, even Joel. And he was trying, or at least they thought he was.

[Caroline]

I will admit we at one point had talked about if he could show that he was truly someone who struggled with addiction and was trying to engage in healthy behaviors, that at some point we could be friends, then attempt to date and start all over again. We have a dry erase board in our kitchen that we would leave notes for the kids or reminders or a grocery list, you know, whatever that may look like. The night before he left, he wrote a note to my daughter and I that said, I love you guys, I will, and underlined, will get better. And I went to erase it, and my daughter asked to keep it up for a while. And then she made the decision of when it would get erased.

[Andrea Gunning]

That was the last message they would receive from Joel for a while. He was required to give up his phone during the first few weeks at rehab.

[Caroline]

After two weeks at the facility, Joel was given his phone back. And he sends a text saying just how incredible the facility is. And he thinks it's going to be beneficial to him that he wanted to be vulnerable with me and the kids.

[Andrea Gunning]

He described to Caroline how his behavior evolved, all of it by text. We asked a voice actor to read his messages.

[Joel]

I was playing an online game in 2005 or 6 where people used an app called Palringo to communicate about game strategy. For several months I used it for that. And then out of curiosity, I searched sexual terms and all these groups or chat rooms popped up. People would post porn and homemade porn on them. And that started my addiction. That progressed into chatting with females on there and sexting.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel said that led him to seek out other apps like FetLife, the Kink and fetish site that he'd been caught using at work.

[Joel]

I downloaded the app and found all kinds of porn that included pictures and video. I found myself becoming more immersed in it and growing resentful of you because I could not please you like the men in the porn did.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel wasn't blaming her per se, but he was implying that this was all about not being able to satisfy her.

[Joel]

I found myself starting to believe in the fantasy world and and my self esteem crashed. There were no boundaries or limitations in this fantasy world. I could say things to women that were not imaginable in real life.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel went on to explain in graphic detail how this fantasy escalated into real life actions.

[Joel]

I could get a blowjob and feel more manly. Once I saw how easy it was, I got hooked on that. I felt guilty and knew what I was doing was wrong. But by then, it didn't matter. Low self esteem, self hatred, depression, anxiety, addiction all contributed to my behavior and actions. Sane people would not do what I did. But I literally was not in my right mind.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel went on to say that this wasn't a justification for his behavior, just an explanation. Then he tried to assure her he had told her all of his secrets.

[Joel]

You have discovered everything and I have told you about all that is significant or I remember. I have tried to explain it as best I can in this text. Are there things I'm omitting? Absolutely, but not out of intentional deception. I simply can't remember everything. I hope that this in some way helps show that I'm being honest and forthcoming about my actions.

[Andrea Gunning]

Back in Colorado Springs, Nicole watched her mom grapple with the tug of war between hurt and hope.

[Podcast Host]

She was trying so hard to be with my dad for the beginning of it. Like trying to work through it and trying to like maybe start fresh with him.

[Andrea Gunning]

Still, Caroline felt that Joel was holding back. For example, when she asked if he had affairs with any coworkers, his response was cagey.

[Joel]

I want to engage in conversations to heal. I'd be happy to address this, but I'm wary of piling on for the divorce proceedings. If there is any hope of working through this, then I want to address this.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline suspected he was still carefully picking and choosing what he'd fess up to. She wrestled with all of this while trying to keep some normalcy for their daughter. Nicole was a junior in high school, so while Joel was in rehab, Caroline took her to tour a college campus hundreds of miles from home. That's where Caroline was when she got a call from Joel's case manager at the treatment center. Joel gave the facility permission to keep Caroline updated about his career, but this was the first time she'd heard from a staff member.

[Caroline]

And so she said, he said that it's important for you to know that he is doing all of these things and trying to get better, to not only keep his job, but to try to change and be a different person. And so I tell her what he has told me thus far and she says there's a lot more. He's actually said that he's done so much that if you find out everything, there's no way you guys will be able to stay together.

[Andrea Gunning]

Then the case manager got to the point. The real reason she was calling Caroline.

[Caroline]

She said he was one of the worst cases of sex addiction she had ever seen.

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[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline received a call from the rehabilitation center where Joel was being treated. The case manager was direct with their assessment of Joel.

[Caroline]

She said he was one of the worst cases of sex addiction she had ever seen. She's telling me all this and my head is just spinning. I'm on a campus trying to keep some normalcy for our daughter and let her be able to get a glimpse of what her future could be on a college campus. I'm trying to hold it together emotionally for her. I'm trying to hold it together emotionally for myself.

[Andrea Gunning]

The case manager's words replayed in her head. Maybe the story Joel was telling Caroline about reflections, breakthroughs and progress was just that, a story.

[Caroline]

One night I get a phone call and he says he has his ability to call people now. And he's talking himself up and he's saying, you know, what a leader he is at the facility, that he doesn't think he's even going to be there the full time because he's just doing so great and his therapist thinks he's amazing and he, he is taking on different leadership roles in his groups. And I couldn't take it anymore.

[Andrea Gunning]

So she told Joel about the phone call with the case manager. The case manager's version of Joel's progress did not match his.

[Caroline]

Joel became infuriated and he said that she was a bitch. And, you know, this is why now he could see why she was standoffish to him. You know, he just completely twisted it and turned it and then let me know he didn't want her contacting me for anything ever again. And so I said, sounds, sounds appropriate at this point because you're not honest with me and you're not honest with this treatment team.

[Andrea Gunning]

If he wasn't going to tell her the full truth, she would investigate herself.

[Caroline]

And I can't tell you what prompted me to finally have this epiphany, but I did. I had this moment after all of this to pull our phone records.

[Andrea Gunning]

To understand the gravity of this next story, we have to go back in time about five years prior, when Nicole was in middle school. When I first introduced you to the family, I told you that their son and daughter were accomplished athletes and hard working students. It's extraordinary they've maintained that, especially considering the trauma they have experienced. For Nicole, it wasn't the first time she had faced adversity.

[Podcast Host]

Middle school and the beginning years of high school definitely weren't the best for me.

[Andrea Gunning]

For several years, Nicole was bullied. She felt like one girl had turned the entire school against her.

[Podcast Host]

There was a ringleader it was the typical sort of movie scene where she seemed really popular and had a bunch of friends and everyone was like crowding around her and her lunch table was big where mine was not. It was hard forming some connections. And so a lot of times family dinner would be the first time like I ever talked to anyone that day. It was hard. So that structure of family dinner was important to me.

[Caroline]

This girl definitely was someone who was a leader amongst her peers and somehow was able to get folks to kind of side with her in essence. And so she often was able to rally folks to isolate our daughter. Nicole would often be in tears talking about how this little girl at school was bullying her relentlessly. And I was really caught between a rock and a hard place, between not wanting to give in to a bully, but also to try to instill self confidence in her and look out for her safety.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel had casual contact with the mother of Nicole's bully through the kids activities.

[Caroline]

I said, don't you think maybe we should sit down and talk to her? And he said, let's see if the girls can work this out on her own. And he just reiterated that this was a piece of growing up and that we really should reinstill self confidence in our own child so that she could stick up for herself.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was a painful chapter that only improved as Nicole made more friends in high school. Okay, now back to the phone records.

[Caroline]

I had this moment after all of this to pull our phone records. I searched the first number and it came back as the mom of the little girl who bullied our daughter so heavily throughout middle school and the onset of high school.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was right there in black and white. Call after call, text after text between Joel and the mother of Nicole's bully.

[Caroline]

Around six in the morning, I called Joel and he answered. I said, joel, I just pulled our phone records. Why are you in constant contact with. And he got really quiet. And then he said, she saw me at Target and thought I looked really skinny. And so she was concerned for me, so she's just been checking on me. And I said, no, I just don't believe you.

[Andrea Gunning]

They both knew it was total bs but for Joel, lying was like a reflex. This time, Caroline demanded the truth. And finally he confessed.

[Caroline]

He said that he had been having an affair with her since our son graduated from high school. It started because she reached out to him and congratulated him on all of our son's accolades. And then he was very matter of fact and said. Then she said to me, I always look forward to seeing you because I Thought you were cute. And he said, from that moment, I knew she'd be easy to have sex with. And so he said that he started driving to her home at least three times a week and would have sex with her while he was on duty.

[Andrea Gunning]

All of this was revealed on May 8, which happened to be Caroline's birthday and Mother's Day. At this point, the kids insisted on knowing every new detail. They wanted to know the truth, no matter how disturbing.

[Podcast Host]

I was just about to turn 17. I didn't want to like, be in the shadows and I wanted like the full picture of my dad. But then sometimes the full picture of my dad was a little gory and so it was hard to hear.

[Andrea Gunning]

Hard to hear is an understatement. Joel having an affair with the mother of her bully was devastating. Nicole confronted her dad.

[Caroline]

She said, you knew what that girl did to me. You knew how she treated me. You knew that sometimes you and mommy were the first people I spoke to all day because she got everyone to ignore me. And then you went and had sex with her mom. And he just said, I'm sorry.

[Podcast Host]

So it was just kind of a reality check. Like, my dad just did not care, did not care about his actions and who his actions affect.

[Andrea Gunning]

This was the last straw for their son.

[Podcast Host]

How a parent can witness firsthand the torment that another child puts on their kid. Knowing this and then deciding, I'm going.

[Andrea Gunning]

To have an affair with her mom.

[Podcast Host]

And so there's the breaking point where it's like, you are not someone I.

[Andrea Gunning]

Look up to anymore.

[Podcast Host]

You're Joel to me now.

[Caroline]

You can go fuck yourself.

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[Andrea Gunning]

Everyone knows that stuff happens. If something can break, it probably will at some point. That's especially true of appliances and home systems like your H vac, plumbing or refrigerator. So it's best to protect those hard working items. That's exactly what an American Home Shield warranty does. So when that drip, drip, dripping faucet is driving you crazy or when your fridge is on the fritz, American Home Shield will fix the covered item. And if they can't fix it, they'll replace it no matter its age. As a benefit to some plans, you can even video chat with live repair experts to help assess or fix the issue on the spot. So let's recap with American Home Shield, covered parts of your home systems and appliances that will inevitably break are protected. Without American Home Shield, repairs and replacements could cost thousands. Visit ahs.com betrayal to get 20% off any plan and see promo details, visit ahs.comcontracts for coverage details, including limit amounts, fees, limitations and exclusions.

[Jenny Garth]

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[Andrea Gunning]

Bully'S mom was the deepest wound and the fact that Joel didn't tell his family about it himself made it that much worse. But the phone records revealed much more. The affairs didn't end there. Caroline tracked down the identity of another phone number that appeared multiple times. This discovery helped her to make sense of something that had bothered her for years.

[Caroline]

Like a lot of spouses who. Their significant other spouse is a police officer who works during the evening hours. The kids and I would take him dinner. And so when I would take him dinner, there was a specific employee who was just so incredibly mean to me and the kids. If our son would drive down and bring him, like, ice cream or something like that, he would notice that this specific person, that she was just incredibly rude and just not nice.

[Andrea Gunning]

It upset Caroline, and she regularly brought it up to Joel, and he would.

[Caroline]

Be like, oh, look, you know, she's a miserable person. That's just who she is. You gotta. You gotta let that go.

[Andrea Gunning]

Turns out Joel had been contacting this co worker repeatedly. When Caroline called Joel to ask if this was another affair, he denied it.

[Caroline]

He said, come on, Caroline. She's just checking on me to make sure I'm okay. I said, I just don't believe you. And I hung up. And then he admitted that he had started having an affair with this employee when he was a midnight lieutenant. And that the affair had continued on, off and on, intermittently over the years. And that she was even in the process of booking a ticket to come out and see him while he was in rehab.

[Andrea Gunning]

In one text, Joel laments about his situation to this same coworker.

[Joel]

There are pages upon pages of my text exchanges with you and our family. Phone bill and Caroline and the kids. Seeing it has not lent me to building any trust. I should be in contact with them, trying to win their trust back.

[Andrea Gunning]

He was attempting to cut off contact. It was too little, too late. Only 10 days after Caroline dealt with the phone records, an emergency jolted her out of her grief.

[Caroline]

It was our daughter. She was driving from lunch back to school, and she was hit by a driver who had a long history of DUIs. And the driver T bones her and totals the car. I got there, and our daughter was just completely in shock and in a ton of pain.

[Andrea Gunning]

They drove to the hospital. Caroline felt it was important to let Joel know, but his friends at CSPD had beat her to the punch.

[Caroline]

He proceeds to tell me how he already knew some of the facts of the accident because his friends had recognized her name on the call screen.

[Andrea Gunning]

He knew, and he didn't call Caroline. Nicole continues to recover and still has anxiety about driving. In the weeks that followed, the contact between Joel and Caroline mostly revolved around logistics concerning the totaled car from the accident. There wasn't much more to discuss. Then one day, Caroline got a call from the rehab. They had a problem.

[Caroline]

He says to me, yeah, well, we don't know where Joel's at, so we wanted to check in. Is he with you? Or, you know, do you know if he's still at the facility? And I said, no, I have no idea. And so we still had his location on all of our phones. So I pulled up his location. I can specifically see an address where he was at in Hermosa beach. And then I just looked at our phone records. Easy enough. And the phone records had one specific number over and over again. And so I googled the number. It comes up to a female's name. And then I called the number and I just said, hey, just to let you know, my estranged husband, I believe you're with him. He's at a treatment facility and they're looking for him. It's important that you let him know that they're looking for him. Shortly after that, I got a phone call from Joel who said that he had relapsed and had fallen prey to his addictions and that he had been meeting women online again and had been going out to different areas surrounding Laguna and meeting women.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline sent emails to his case manager advising him of where Joel had gone. With that email went Caroline's last shred of hope. Joel hadn't let go of his habits. He'd just relocated them. Caroline made the decision to prioritize herself and her daughter's needs.

[Caroline]

His next contact with me was to call to say that he wanted me to know that he got a job.

[Andrea Gunning]

This was June 2022. After about two months in rehab, Joel told Caroline he was leaving. He landed a new job outside of law enforcement. He was getting his own apartment in Colorado. Caroline was confused. She thought all of this was to try and save his job at the police department.

[Caroline]

And so he said he was at this point just hoping he could retire without any type of concern or charge of misconduct.

[Andrea Gunning]

He wouldn't know if he would be criminally charged or how his actions would affect his record until later in the summer. Would he be allowed to retire scot free, or would there be consequences? We'll get to this in our next episode. For now, though, Joel seemed to accept that he had to move on from the cspd. He came back to Colorado to start a new job, and Caroline Got clear about their relationship, it was over. Now they would have to work out the terms of their divorce. So they set a meeting to hash out details concerning money, property, and custody.

[Caroline]

He and I agree that we'll meet on the 4th of July to agree on some things, to be able to divide them out. And we agree to meet at a coffee shop that we used to frequent together a lot. And so when I walked into the coffee shop, it was just so bizarre. I see this older gentleman who clearly is not my husband. I see a young teenager who obviously is not my husband. And then I see this man who was fully bearded, hair is shaggy, he's wearing a fedora and a skull shirt, and he's waving at me from a distance. And I had to take pause and stand for several seconds on the entryway of this coffee shop and stare at him. Joel had always been someone who was extremely clean cut. And I just sat down. And so as I sat down, he had his phone facing up. And I could see prompt after prompt after prompt coming up. You know, just notification after notification after notification of his phone, of various dating apps, Tinder, Bumble. And it was just constant, constant, constant.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline ignored the unending alerts. Then the conversation turned to their daughter. Following the incident with her bully's mother. Nicole refused to be in contact with Joel, but she was 17, so there was still the issue of child support.

[Caroline]

He said he shouldn't have to pay child support for someone who wasn't in contact with him. And so we went back and forth, and we even talked about that when we went through the mediation process. And I could not see myself forcing her to go through that. I mean, my attorney advised me that we could go and have court testimony and take a look at what a judge would rule in that. And I just agreed to waive child support so that I didn't have to put her through that. After we agreed on how things would be divided out, we started walking out of the coffee shop. He walks me over to where I parked, and it's such an ironic memory because I see his watch, and I can just see the constant notifications. And so I thought to myself, let's see what you say. And I just said, your phone kept going off and your watch is going off so much. And his comment was, these are all my friends from rehab and my therapist. They just keep reaching out to me. I mean, even in that moment, after everything that had gone on, he just looked at me and lied. I mean, blatantly lied. And so I didn't even argue with him on it. I just nodded my head and then I said, thanks for meeting me, have a good fourth of July. And then he said, can I have a hug? And I said no. And then he just stared at me for several seconds and like his voice.

[Podcast Host]

Was cracking.

[Caroline]

And he said, you always be the love of my life and I just stared at him and then he said, I hope you know I love you more than anything in this world and I always will. And all I could say back was okay. And we parted ways and that was the last time we saw each other and probably ever will.

[Andrea Gunning]

On the next episode of Betrayal, When.

[Caroline]

I came home, there was this envelope taped to our front door and she just had this desperation in her face like she just was hoping for it and she said, oh my gosh, is that from my dad?

[Andrea Gunning]

Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season four. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email [e-mail] that's betrayalpodmail.com also please be sure to follow us on Instagram, betrayalpod and me andreah Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates. One way to support this series is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal 5 star reviews. Help us know you appreciate what we do. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison. Betrayal is hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Kerry Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producers are Caitlin golden and Kristen Melchiori. Our iHeart team is Ally Perry and Jessica Krynczyk. Story editing by Monique laborde Audio editing and mixing by Matt d' Alvecchio Editing by Tanner Robbins. Special thanks to voice actor John Bellomo and special thanks to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines Music library provided by My Music and for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jenny Garth]

This is Jenny Garth from I do part two. Can't afford Ozempic? Try WeGovy from Future Health. Just $199 and FDA approved for weight loss. No insurance or tricky syringes needed, just results. Visit futurehealth.com that's future without the E and start losing weight this week. Future Health Weight Loss Data based on independent studies sponsored by Future Health Future Health is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at providers discretion. Are you still quoting 30 year old movies.

[Caroline]

Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past.

[Andrea Gunning]

Discover is accepted at 99% of places.

[Caroline]

That take credit cards nationwide and every time you make a purchase with your.

[Andrea Gunning]

Card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the.

[Caroline]

February 2024 Nielsen report here at the Almond Joy Factory, where tropical vibes abound.

[Andrea Gunning]

We use soft, fresh tasting coconut, the.

[Caroline]

Crunchiest almonds and delicious chocolate candy. Ah, but do you know what our.

[Andrea Gunning]

Most important ingredient is?

[Caroline]

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Almond Joy's got nuts and something even way better than that. Yes, Almond Joy is made with almonds.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Podcast Host]

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