Betrayal Season 5 – BONUS: Survivors’ Discussion Continued | Saskia’s Story
Podcast by iHeartPodcasts & Glass Podcasts
Original Air Date: March 16, 2026
Episode Overview
This special bonus episode features an extended, honest, and deeply moving roundtable discussion between survivors of sexual betrayal: Ember, Natalie, Stephanie, and Saskia. Moderated by Megan Cutter, Chief of Victim Services at RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network), the episode delves into the nuances of healing, the myth of the "perfect victim," societal attitudes towards survivors, and the impact of public cases like Gisele Pellico and Bill Cosby.
The central theme is survivorship—its complexity, the collective strength found in sharing, and the powerful message that healing is neither linear nor prescriptive. The women share their stories, struggles, doubts, and encouragement for other survivors.
Key Discussion Points
1. The Nonlinear Journey of Healing
Moderator: Megan Cutter (Chief of Victim Services, RAINN)
(03:38)
- Healing is described as a deeply personal, non-linear process; there is no clear end point or “arrival.”
- Survivors share how their expectations for recovery have changed with time.
Notable Quotes:
- “Healing is not a linear journey. It's not a straight line.” – Megan Cutter [03:38]
- “There's no like arrival... I still think of it almost every day, but it doesn't take my feet out from underneath me.” – Ember [03:58–04:45]
- “I wish it was something where we could just flip a switch and never think about it again.” – Ember [04:10]
2. Redefining Strength and Reclaiming Identity
- Discusses the continued effort to rebuild life and rediscover self-worth after abuse.
- The group shares how connecting with others who’ve experienced similar betrayal has made them feel less alone and more empowered.
Notable Quotes:
- “To see how strong Stephanie was through this gave me more of the, ‘You know what? I'm going to see that I can be a survivor... I can help other people with this.’” – Saskia [06:41]
- “Now to have Natalie and Ember also join this terrible sisterhood that no one wants to be a part of is just really, really powerful.” – Stephanie [07:01]
- “I know I've learned you do have to be a little bit selfish in life just to survive.” – Saskia [07:21]
- “It's a matter of not selfishness but self-preservation.” – Stephanie [08:21]
3. The Power of Community
- The women describe how being part of a peer group (even if one nobody would ever choose) has provided comfort, validation, and understanding without the need for explanation.
- Examples include support found in private conversations, visits, and shared silences.
Notable Moments:
- Stephanie’s connection with Saskia, born from the podcast, blossomed into a real-world friendship and mutual support system. [06:12]
- “We can make sure that nobody else feels as alone as we did.” – Saskia [06:41]
4. Societal Awareness and Media Coverage
- Public cases like Gisele Pellico in France and Bill Cosby in America have raised awareness but also highlight gaps in societal understanding and support for survivors.
Notable Quotes:
- “Better doesn’t necessarily mean good, and what more do we need to do?” – Ember on progress in public attitudes [14:47]
- “She still went forward to bring this abuse onto a national, international spotlight, which was just amazing.” – Stephanie on Gisele Pellico [14:11]
- “Being labeled as [a liar] is just something shameful to carry... sometimes it would just be really hard because, you know, you just have to sit there and kind of take it.” – Natalie [16:07]
5. The “Perfect Victim” Myth
Moderator: Megan Cutter [16:31]
- Dissects expectations society places on survivors, such as reporting immediately or having “respectable” backgrounds.
- Discusses how these false standards can prevent survivors from being believed or from seeking help.
Notable Quotes:
- “Even with that, I was deemed a non-credible witness by the first two police officers... The DA won't pick this up if I don't remember things in a linear way.” – Ember [17:28]
- “I feel like he [her abuser] was given every grace, every opportunity to just shit on me. My mental health, my substance use and abuse. We've been so traumatized already. To have to then put your life on display and talk about your vulnerabilities and defend them... I couldn't have expected the nightmare.” – Saskia [18:08]
- “When someone doesn't match that idea, there can be judgment, there can be shame... Survivorship is not a monolith.” – Megan Cutter [16:46, 19:37]
6. Survivor Guilt and Second-Guessing
- Saskia reflects on her immediate report to police and the resulting trauma for her stepchildren and biological children, expressing guilt for the aftermath and questioning her choices.
Notable Quotes:
- “If I had my wits about me, maybe I would have chosen more self-preservation... We all have to give ourselves grace for our choices and what we had to do to survive.” – Saskia [18:54]
7. Messages to Listeners and Survivors
(20:10–20:53)
- Each survivor offers words of encouragement and solidarity to others who may be listening and struggling in silence.
Notable Quotes:
- “My wish and desire for you is that you would know that you are loved, that you deserve safety and kindness and compassion exactly as you are right now.” – Ember [20:10]
- “The shame is 100% on the perpetrator. And you're not alone.” – Stephanie [20:24]
- “Carrying that shame... isn't yours to carry. It's not ours to carry.” – Natalie [20:43]
- “It's not what happens to you, it's what you do with that and how you respond to it that shows the type of person you are. It's possible to have something so tragic happen to you and still have goodness and hope.” – Saskia [20:53]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 02:59 – Episode introduction & setup of the survivor group discussion
- 03:38 – Opening the topic of the healing journey
- 04:00-05:35 – Personal reflections on years since discovery and ongoing impact
- 05:46-06:41 – Stephanie and Saskia share about their friendship and mutual support
- 07:21-08:21 – Rebuilding life, learning self-preservation
- 13:53-17:28 – Public cases, societal attitudes, and the myth of the “perfect victim”
- 18:08-19:37 – Saskia and others on not fitting the perfect victim narrative and dealing with guilt
- 20:10-20:53 – Advice and messages for survivors
Notable Quotes (with Attribution and Timestamps)
- “Healing is not a linear journey. It's not a straight line.” – Megan Cutter (03:38)
- “I wish it was something where we could just flip a switch and never think about it again.” – Ember (04:10)
- “We can make sure nobody else feels as alone as we did.” – Saskia (06:41)
- “It's a matter of not selfishness but self-preservation.” – Stephanie (08:21)
- “Better doesn’t necessarily mean good, and what more do we need to do?” – Ember (14:47)
- “The shame is 100% on the perpetrator. And you're not alone.” – Stephanie (20:24)
- “Carrying that shame... really isn't yours to carry. It's not ours to carry.” – Natalie (20:43)
- “It's not what happens to you; it's what you do with that and how you respond to it that shows the type of person that you are.” – Saskia (20:53)
Episode Tone
The tone is honest, unwavering, compassionate, and empowering. The participants do not sugarcoat their pain or the complexities of recovery, nor do they minimize the fallout from both personal experience and societal judgment. Throughout, the atmosphere is one of mutual support and shared strength.
Resources
- Visit rainn.org/betrayal for information and 24/7 support through RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline.
- Text HOPE to 64673 or call 1-800-656-HOPE for confidential help.
If you are a survivor, you are not alone.
For more content and to join the Betrayal community, connect via Instagram @betrayalpod and subscribe to their Substack at betrayal.substack.com.