Betrayal Season 5, Episode 10: "Waking Up | Saskia's Story"

Podcast: Betrayal | iHeartPodcasts & Glass Podcasts
Date: April 2, 2026
Host: Andrea Gunning

Episode Overview

In this powerful episode, host Andrea Gunning takes listeners through the aftermath of "D-Day"—the day Saskia Inwood discovered the truth about her husband Mike’s secret life and the crimes he committed against her. The narrative explores Saskia's shock, her path through justice and healing, and the ongoing process of reclaiming her agency and finding connection after profound betrayal. Central themes include the myth of the "perfect victim," what it means to be brave, and how healing takes many forms.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Day Everything Changed

• Saskia recounts "D-Day", when her world exploded after discovering her husband's crimes.

  "Our life blew up on April 11th. April 2022 is when D Day happened and everything disappeared."
  — Saskia (04:03)

• The immediate impact was devastating, not just for Saskia, but for her children and community.

  "All of this blew up our life, our kids' lives, our community."
  — Andrea Gunning (04:11)

2. Bravery in the Aftermath

• Andrea shares her own history with sexual violence and how, like Saskia, she struggled with self-blame before finding clarity and moving forward (05:45).

• Saskia’s ability to see Mike's actions for what they were, and to stand up to him, is rare among survivors.

  "He said, I guess we're both a little bit crazy. I said, no, no, I have mental health issues. You're a predator and you're a monster."
  — Saskia (07:01)

• Prosecutor Ashley Enderfirth reflects on the everyday forms of bravery:

  "Sometimes bravery is just getting up the next morning and living your life."
  — Ashley Enderfirth (08:30)

3. The Hard Work of Healing

• Saskia now defines bravery not as fighting, but as rebuilding her daily routine: caring for pets, returning to work, and discovering herself outside of old roles.

  "Seven years ago, I was like a baby just starting out, just learning to crawl… For me to get my agency back and be able to do what is good for me is where my power lies now."
  — Saskia (10:05)

• Her sister Marisa and friends remark on her transformation from dependence to agency:

  "She's standing alone, she's doing life, she's creating her own stability now."
  — Marisa (11:05)

• However, increased self-protection has led to some isolation:

  "I feel like I've started spending most of my time alone."
  — Saskia (11:19)

4. The Walls Up: Safety vs. Isolation

• Saskia describes the difficulty in trusting anyone after Mike:

  "I don't think that I can ever trust anybody… How can I ever get to the point where I truly don't fear that?"
  — Saskia (13:26)

• Despite moments of vulnerability during podcast production, Saskia ultimately chose to see the project through as an act of reclamation:

  "I feel like this was the journey that was put in front of me and I was gonna see it through regardless of how difficult it."
  — Saskia (14:56)

5. Therapy and Facing the Past (20:27–29:32)

• Psychotherapist Jessica Baum begins working with Saskia, helping her address not just the trauma, but her childhood roots for seeking validation and safety (20:27).

• Saskia identifies patterns from her upbringing—neglect, anxiety, and the search for acceptance—that made her vulnerable to someone like Mike.

  "Mike was really the first person that I thought actually loved me and was safe."
  — Saskia (26:13)

• Jessica Baum explains:

  "Your inner child is projecting the perfect parent onto this person… The truth is your attachment needs were still underneath the surface."
  — Jessica Baum (27:23)

• Saskia affirms her new independence:

  "I don't need saving... I feel like I need to be able to trust myself before I'll be able to trust anybody else."
  — Saskia (28:09, 28:29)

6. Connection, Vulnerability, and Community (33:00–43:35)

• Over time, Saskia lets her podcast team and others in, learning to trust again:

  "The support that I felt from working on this podcast, it's been something that I've never felt before. The empathy and the understanding… it was just what I needed to deal with it and heal."
  — Saskia (33:54)

• Jessica encourages her to extend this trust to others in her life, focusing on genuine connection instead of seeking external solutions:

  "The way to heal this, Saskia, is now through the work with me, but also other people who you can be vulnerable with, who see you, who hold this sadness with you."
  — Jessica Baum (34:42)

• Saskia confides in her sister Marisa, and gradually allows herself to be supported:

  "I've always put a lot of pressure on myself not to show how much pain I'm in."
  — Saskia (35:55)

Friendship and Talking About Trauma

• Friend Heather expresses guilt over encouraging Saskia to go through with the wedding, highlighting how silence and discomfort around sexual violence and betrayal keeps victims isolated (37:56–39:04).
• Saskia acknowledges the ongoing impact of digital evidence from Mike's crimes but refuses to bear the shame:

  "I feel exposed, but that to me is not as important as exposing somebody who thought that they could just operate in the dark for a while. He pulled me into that darkness and I refused to live there."
  — Saskia (42:54)

7. A New Kind of Joy and Stability

• The episode culminates in a gathering of Saskia’s friends and family, where laughter and connection signal meaningful healing, even amid exhaustion:

  "I want to actually enjoy life, and I don't feel like I always have to show up with a happy face. I can just be me."
  — Saskia (41:13)

• Andrea notes that healing isn't linear or ever fully completed, but that these fleeting moments are enough for now.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Clarity at the Moment of Discovery:

  "You're a dangerous person who preys on vulnerable and trusting people. You're a sexual predator. Michael Levengood."
  — Saskia (07:30)

• On Bravery:

  "Sometimes bravery is just getting up the next morning and living your life."
  — Ashley Enderfirth (08:30)

• On Agency:

  "For me to get my agency back and be able to do what is good for me is where my power lies now."
  — Saskia (10:05)

• Facing Trauma and Shame:

  "I feel exposed, but that to me is not as important as exposing somebody who thought that they could just operate in the dark for a while. He pulled me into that darkness and I refused to live there."
  — Saskia (42:54)

• Finding Support:

  "The empathy and the understanding. It's crazy how it happened, and I don't really believe in fate, but it was just what I needed to deal with it and heal."
  — Saskia (33:54)

Important Timestamps

• D-Day and Immediate Aftermath: 04:03–05:05
• Andrea’s Story – Victim Blaming: 05:45–07:01
• Saskia’s Clarity & Early Actions: 07:01–07:53
• On Everyday Bravery: 08:30–09:18
• Rebuilding Daily Life & Agency: 09:26–10:41
• Family Reflection: 10:41–11:11
• Isolation and Safety: 11:19–12:14
• Trust Issues: 13:26–14:37
• Making the Choice to Continue: 14:48–14:56
• Therapy Sessions Begin: 20:27–29:32
• The Role of Community: 33:12–35:45
• Processing Guilt, Shame, and Silence: 37:56–39:25
• Celebrating Small Wins (Party/Laughter): 41:13–42:54

Tone & Style

The episode is deeply empathetic, honest, and raw. Andrea’s narration weaves together personal experience with investigative reporting, while Saskia’s own words provide unfiltered insight into her journey. The tone is both sobering and hopeful—a testament to the ongoing nature of healing after trauma.

Final Reflection

"Waking Up" is an intimate exploration of what happens after betrayal—the destruction, the slow rebuilding, and the non-linear path toward reclaiming oneself. Saskia’s courage to speak out, seek support, and ultimately begin connecting with others again serves as both cautionary tale and beacon of hope for listeners facing their own dark moments.

For resources on sexual violence, visit rainn.org. Confidential 24/7 support is available via the National Sexual Assault Hotline:
Text HOPE to 64673 or call 1-800-656-HOPE.