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April
This is an iHeart podcast.
Andrea Gunning
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April
We pull out of our house. We get about two blocks from the old house and he looks at me and he says, I think I'm getting ready to be arrested. Within seconds of that coming out of his mouth, the squad car lit us up and pulled us over.
Andrea Gunning
Foreign I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything. Today we're sharing April's story. Growing up in San Diego, April was extremely close to her parents. She'd been adopted by them when she was six weeks old. Her dad was her best friend.
April
I was definitely a tomboy growing up and so my joke had always been that I was the son my dad never had. I know how to change a spark plug on my car and all of the things within the engine.
Andrea Gunning
They had a typical middle class suburban life. Religion and faith were the foundation of their family.
April
I was born and raised in the church. I grew up with Christian values.
Andrea Gunning
Church gave April purpose and community.
April
I have a fierce sense of wanting people to feel like they belong. Being adopted you deal with trauma in the sense that you were almost rejected from birth. So I want people to know that they belong, that they have a place.
Andrea Gunning
The church also fed April's passion for music.
April
My mom got me into piano lessons at an early age and so I always played at church.
Andrea Gunning
Her parents marriage was her model of a healthy, happy relationship. Their love was a positive example of commitment.
April
Even now after 50 some odd years, half the time they're acting like newlyweds. That's what I wanted. That was the vision of marriage.
Andrea Gunning
Growing up, April knew she wanted a relationship like theirs.
April
In high school I had a boyfriend and I was very much a one person girl. So once I was with someone that was it. Like I had blinders on. They were my person.
Andrea Gunning
She also had a vision for her career. Her passion was music. She wanted to play in Symphony hall and of course church.
April
I want to lead people in worship. I want to be in a big worship team.
Andrea Gunning
In January of 2003, April was accepted into the Hillsong Church's Leadership School in Sydney, Australia. For April, it was a life changing opportunity.
April
My intention was to go to school in Australia, meet an Australian, marry him and Live in Sydney. That was my whole plan. That was my goal. I was not looking to date anyone here. I had no intentions of even coming back to the country.
Andrea Gunning
She was looking forward to starting over and started preparing for her move to Australia. But one Wednesday night, April was setting up to lead worship when someone caught her eye.
April
He was a good looking guy, tall, blonde, blue eyes. And I was like, who is this guy? Like, I'd never seen him before, didn't know who he was.
Andrea Gunning
It was uncommon for a stranger to be hanging out before service. He was chatting with a woman April had known for years.
April
And so I walked down to just say hi to this lady. And she said, april, this is my son Joe.
Andrea Gunning
So this was Joe. April had heard about him before, but she had pictured him differently. April knew his mom well. His mom had told April about how Joe got in trouble in Texas. He'd gotten involved with a group of guys that were a bad influence on him. Joe had just moved to San Diego hoping for a fresh start.
April
He was coming out here to start over. I remember looking at him and shaking his hand and having the thought of, wow, he's got the most gentle eyes I've ever seen. It took me by surprise.
Andrea Gunning
She went about her business that evening, not thinking much of it. As she started soundcheck that night, their sound engineer was nowhere to be found. As the service grew closer, April started to panic.
April
Next thing I know, I look in the back of the room at the sound booth, and Joe's in the sound booth, and I look at my guitar player and I was like, what is he doing? My guitar player looks back there and he is like, oh, that's Joe. Don't worry about it. He knows what he's doing. He helped build the sound system years ago.
Andrea Gunning
Joe saved the day.
April
It was just a welcome surprise. And after that point, Joe became our sound man.
Andrea Gunning
Once a month, the worship team would go out to dinner.
April
Anytime that we would do that, he would make it a point to sit right next to me and talk with me. We talked a lot about God and our relationship with God, and we got to be good friends.
Andrea Gunning
As they got closer, it became clear that Joe was interested in a romantic relationship.
April
He would say, hey, can we go grab a cup of coffee or a slice of pie? And my response was always like, no, I'm good. Like, we can go hang out with the worship team. Like, we can go to dinner with the team or with our friends. But I was dead set against doing any one on one dating with him.
Andrea Gunning
April did not want to Complicate things with her team. Plus, she was planning to leave for Australia in a matter of months.
April
I knew that he had been previously married and had kids from his first marriage.
Andrea Gunning
Despite her rejections, Joe was persistent.
April
When I was sick, he would just show up at my house with a bowl of soup and a get well card.
Andrea Gunning
And as time went on, his gestures became more romantic.
April
He would send me flowers for no reason. He would send little notes just to say hi, like a good morning message. So I would wake up and there would be an email from him saying, good morning, beautiful.
Andrea Gunning
It made her feel special. But April was still planning to move to Australia for Hillsong. The night before her flight, she had to record a tape of her vocal range. Joe offered to help make the recording.
April
And so I ran through all my scales, ran through, you know, all sorts of different vocal exercises for him to record.
Andrea Gunning
Once they were done recording, April and Joe packed up their things and made their way to the parking lot. She would be gone for a year. It was hard to say goodbye.
April
He and I were standing by the cars, just chatting. And as we're talking, all of a sudden, I just kissed him. Like there was no thought to it. I. I just leaned in and kissed him.
Andrea Gunning
It was so out of character for April.
April
She surprised herself, and I was just shaking. I was like, I'm so sorry. I. I don't even know why I did that. And then the next thing I know, he's kissing me. It was one of those kisses that just kind of made your knees buckle.
Andrea Gunning
The kiss was electric in part because they both knew April was about to leave the country.
April
And then he was like, you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm good. Like, we're good. And I said, I don't know what's going to happen because I am leaving, but we'll stay in touch.
Andrea Gunning
The next morning, I got on a
April
plane and went to Sydney.
Andrea Gunning
When she got there, she jumped right into school. Hillsong College is well known for their worship and vocational courses. For April, being there was a dream come true.
April
They had this program where you would get all the music theory, learn about worship history, music history within the church itself, as well as leadership training. I loved every moment of it. Lived, breathed, ate school.
Andrea Gunning
April thought that when she arrived in Sydney, she'd forget about Joe, but she didn't. She found her thoughts drifting to him and what he was doing back in San Diego.
April
He was working at 711 and using his money to get phone cards. So every single day, he was calling me. So we spent a Lot of time on the phone, which forced us to really learn how to communicate with each other.
Andrea Gunning
On those long phone calls, they learned a lot about each other. In many ways, they were opposites.
April
I was always so serious, and he had the ability to really make me laugh and just enjoy the moment. He made life fun.
Andrea Gunning
Joe helped her relax. For the whole year she was in Australia, their attraction evolved. The distance brought them even closer. When April flew back to the States, Joe surprised her by picking her up at the airport.
April
We're driving back and he pulls off at this rest stop. And it's a beautiful overlook that overlooks the Pacific Ocean. And in San Diego, it was a beautiful day. Like, the sun was shining. He's standing behind me with his arms around me, and we're just talking and he's pointing out into the water. And he was like, can you see that boat out there? I was like, no, I don't see the boat. He's like, take a moment, close your eyes. And when you open your eyes, I want you to fixate on where my fingers are pointing. I'm like, okay, got it. And so I'm standing there with my eyes closed. And then he says, okay, open them. And when I do, his hand is in front of me with a ring box. And this beautiful marquee cut diamond ring is in the middle of it.
Andrea Gunning
April stared at Joe dumbfounded.
April
And he's like, would you marry me? And I said, yes. You know, I'm in love with this guy. And he has found so much time talking to me while I've been gone. And it just felt right. I was so happy and I just. I had felt so safe and loved that it was like, yeah, this is my person.
Andrea Gunning
Because they had gotten to know each other from afar, their love story unfolded in a backwards way.
April
After the proposal, we go on our first official date. We went to Finding Nemo.
Andrea Gunning
Even though they didn't have a lot of money, they found ways to have dates and just enjoy each other's company.
April
We would go for a walk on the beach, or we would go someplace and just kind of sit and have coffee together. Anything that we could do cheaply, we would do. Going and splitting a meal somewhere, we took opportunity to just try and spend time together when we could. It was just our own little world at the time.
Andrea Gunning
They met each other's families and talked about what they wanted for their future. Joe had three kids from his first marriage. They lived with their mom out of state. Joe didn't want any more kids. And April was on the same page
April
kids were never something that I really thought about.
Andrea Gunning
What mattered more to April was how her parents saw Joe. Her mom embraced him right away, but her dad was reluctant.
April
My dad was a bit harder of a nut to crack. He was always suspicious of him. There were stories that Joe would tell and my dad would just be like, something doesn't add up.
Andrea Gunning
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April
I didn't want anything elaborate. I just wanted a simple wedding. And we had the wedding at a local hotel that had just opened up the their wedding garden. Our friends and family were there. It was beautiful.
Andrea Gunning
They wrote their own vows.
April
It wasn't the typical, you know, I'm going to love, honor, and obey you. It was, I want to support who you are as a person and who God has created you to be.
Andrea Gunning
After the wedding, the couple moved into their first apartment. It was the first time April lived with a partner. In fact, it was a time of a lot of firsts.
April
I'd never been with a man, period. Like, I'd never had sex until him. So he was my first. So there was a little bit of, am I doing things right? Am I pleasing him? Am I making him happy? I can remember the first year I would wake up in the middle of the night and almost freak out because there was a boy in my bed.
Andrea Gunning
After 30 years of being independent, it was a big adjustment to live with a man. April quickly realized, I'm doing all the
April
dishes, I'm doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking the trash out.
Andrea Gunning
She also noticed a pattern. Whenever she confronted Joe, he would step
April
up for a couple of weeks. He would take the trash out without me asking. He would clean up his own dishes. And then it would slowly slip back into me taking care of everything again.
Andrea Gunning
It was disappointing. But Joe was still the same guy she'd fallen in love with. He always took time to make her feel seen.
April
He was still bringing me flowers just because if I had a rough day, we would go grab a pizza from the pizza place on the corner. Just little things that it was kind of like, okay, it's still very thoughtful. And, yeah, we've got this. This tension of, I'm doing everything, but he's still taking care of me.
Andrea Gunning
Eventually, the couple both found jobs at a local ministry. Joe worked in their video department.
April
He was editing videos and getting everything ready to go onto actual tv. I worked in prayer center, and it was where people could call in that needed prayer and they could get a hold of a live person that would take time to sit and listen to them and just pray with them and talk with them.
Andrea Gunning
In 2009, five years into their marriage, Joe got a call from his first wife. She needed support with the kids, and she asked if Joe's teenage son could come live with them. April agreed. She welcomed him into their home and into their family.
April
He was a great kid. He really wasn't any trouble. And he lived with us through his entire high school years and played football for the high school and all that. The kid was tender hearted. He just wanted to do right.
Andrea Gunning
It was a really successful arrangement. A few years later, Joe's daughter came to stay with them as well. However, it was a lot more challenging. Joe's daughter was going through a difficult time, and Joe was too.
April
He had been through bouts of unemployment before, but it was while she was here that he went through the longest period of unemployment of about two years. And so during that time, I'm the sole breadwinner. Joe began to drink, and his drinking was escalating.
Andrea Gunning
It was too much pressure on April to support the whole family.
April
I told him that, you know, I was done. I couldn't do this anymore.
Andrea Gunning
They weren't able to provide Joe's daughter with the support she needed, so she went home to Texas. Joe was upset. He felt like he failed his daughter and in the process lost her, too. To cope, Joe threw himself into his job working for their church, where he was running sound and helping them upgrade their audio visual capabilities. The church wanted to start live streaming their service so members of the congregation could watch from home.
April
He was trying to help our church get up on live streaming, so he would log on to this website that had all these various different live streams.
Andrea Gunning
On these live streaming sites, Joe would sometimes help other church members troubleshoot any technical difficulties.
April
I would notice that every once in a while, he would be chatting with young girls, not necessarily teenage girls, but maybe early 20s. And I would ask him, what are you doing? He's like, oh, I'm trying to help them get their streaming correct because their camera's fuzzy. He could make it sound so logical and so reasonable.
Andrea Gunning
It seemed a little odd to April, but she believed Joe. He had always been one to help out the kids at church, and he took a special interest in mentoring youth.
April
At our church, we had had a couple of guys come in at one point that were following some of the young girls around the church. And Joe, he was the one that clocked it and went into leadership and was like, these guys need to go. What they're doing is sketchy. He'd always been that guy. Protective of girls, protective of youth.
Andrea Gunning
April was proud of how Joe stood up for their young church members. Years passed, and April and Joe's relationship stood. They were involved in church together. They kept watching their favorite sports teams and hung out with friends. The world they built together felt comfortable and grounding. Eventually, April and Joe felt like they needed something to break up their usual routine. They wanted to give back to their community and spend time outdoors together. So they decided to volunteer at a horse rescue near their house. They each took on regular chores at the barn.
April
He was feeding the horses in the early mornings or in the evenings, and I was involved in helping with some of the training. This was just a real place of bliss for me and for him. Having grown up in the country in Texas, he was loving it because it just felt like he'd found home as well.
Andrea Gunning
They started getting to know the community at the horse rescue, including a woman and her teenage daughter that lived on the property.
April
The daughter would end up feeding on weekends by herself at night, and they'd had a couple of instances of people trespassing at night that were kind of scary. And so Joe volunteered to feed with her.
Andrea Gunning
She was about the same age as his daughter. April suspected Joe was projecting some of his concern for his own daughter onto this girl at the barn.
April
And then there was one day where she needed to go pick up a piece of equipment that her dad was giving her. So Joe offered to take her and one of her girlfriends to go to her dad's and haul it back. They left early in the morning, and I spent the day there on the ranch.
Andrea Gunning
April was taking a break from barn chores when she saw one of the two teenage girls wandering up towards the stable.
April
I was like, oh, hey, you're back. And she was like, what do you mean? I said, oh, well, didn't you go with Joe and the other girl? And she was like, no. They left before I even got here.
Andrea Gunning
It made April uncomfortable that Joe was alone with a teenage girl.
April
I tried calling him multiple times. He never answered. It was getting to be about 6 o' clock in the evening, and just him and the girl pull up. I take one look at him, and I'm just livid. Like, I'm so angry.
Andrea Gunning
But Joe said seemed completely unbothered. He walked up to the barn like nothing happened.
April
I grab him and I pull him to the side. I'm like, what is wrong with you? He's like, what do you mean? And I said, do you have any idea? You've just spent all day with a teenage girl alone in a vehicle.
Andrea Gunning
April made it known Joe had broken an unspoken rule. All the volunteers saw Joe pulling up with this teenage girl in his car. The girl's mom agreed.
April
Her mom put her foot down and was like, you can no longer spend time with my daughter.
Andrea Gunning
Joe was hurt by this. He felt like he was being judged.
April
He was emotionally upset about not being able to spend time with her. I rationalized it as that he took this other girl and put her in the place of his daughter. So it was like he was losing his daughter all over again.
Andrea Gunning
Around this time, their church moved into a new space and downsized their staff. Joe lost his job. He was really struggling. After searching for a while, he landed a job working for a doctor who had a medical TV show on a local network.
April
I had seen that show, and I was like, oh, yeah, I know who that doctor is. That's pretty cool.
Andrea Gunning
On the morning of Joe's first day, the couple got ready for work together.
April
We both got in our cars. He was behind me. I went one way, and he should have turned left at the next light. And I watched him turn right at the next light instead of left.
Andrea Gunning
April had a sinking feeling, so I
April
asked him about it. When I got home, I said, hey, I saw you turn back towards the house. And he was like, oh, yeah, I forgot something. So I had to go back home and get it.
Andrea Gunning
But April was skeptical.
April
No, something's not right. For a week, he did this. He got up, got dressed, left with me, and went right back home.
Andrea Gunning
April was convinced that Joe's new job was completely fake.
April
Sure enough, within a week, he's telling me that the doctor's son was going to take his job, and so he didn't have a job again.
Andrea Gunning
It was unsettling. Now April was on guard, trying to discern if Joe was telling the truth. It was starting to affect her sense of certainty and trust.
April
He could make me feel like I was going insane. I legitimately had moments where I was like, am I losing my mind? He would tell me that I didn't say things that I knew for a fact I said. But then he had me second guessing myself because it was like, well, did I say that? Maybe I didn't say that.
Andrea Gunning
April knew that she shouldn't feel this way, but being honest about her concerns felt like poking a sleeping beast.
April
I didn't know how to deal with the confrontation that would come from it. And I was afraid. I was afraid of what would come out. I didn't know how else to move forward other than to just bury it and move on.
Andrea Gunning
April was fighting to regain a sense of stability in their relationship. Top of the list was getting Joe a new job. And April had an idea.
April
I kept seeing these ads for driving instructors, and I used to joke with him that I never wanted to drive with him because he always told me what I was doing wrong. And so I was like, you should check that out. You love driving, and you do love teaching.
Andrea Gunning
Jo took her advice and reached out to the driving school.
April
He went through their training program with the owner. You have to do so many hours of in car training with another instructor, background check. And so he started teaching kids how to drive cars, and he loved it.
Andrea Gunning
And April was finding her stride at work, too.
April
Around the same time that he got his job on, I started working for my dream company. I'm an executive, business partner and executive assistant. It's almost more of a chief of staff type role, you know, so it was like. It felt like things were finally turning around. I was making good money. He was making good money. He had a steady job. He had found something that he absolutely was loving. He would come home at night, just lit up, like, so excited to talk about who he had taught and what he had taught. And watching the light bulb of understanding go off with these kids, it just felt like we had finally reached a point where it was like, maybe we're going to be okay. I felt like I could suddenly start breathing. I didn't realize that I had been living, holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Andrea Gunning
One day, April headed into the office early to prepare for an event with her company's CEO.
April
And as I'm pulling into our parking garage at the office, I get a ring alert on my phone from our doorbell camera. And I was like, well, that's weird. So I pull up the camera, and I see about six police officers at my front door. I completely freak out because. Cause it's like, what is happening?
Andrea Gunning
She immediately called Joe.
April
It rang and rang, and then it went to voicemail. And I don't know what to do. I just kept trying to call him over and over again.
Andrea Gunning
Stunned, April began to drive home to figure out what was going on.
April
He finally calls me and tells me that police officers and. And two detectives showed up with a search warrant. And they were taking all of the electronics, the computers, iPads, Apple watch. They took his work vehicle. They were seizing all of it.
Andrea Gunning
Joe told April to wait to come home because he didn't want her car to get seized, too. So April pulled over at a nearby coffee shop and waited. Finally, Joe called her and said it was okay for her to come home. But home was far from a comforting sight.
April
The house is just trashed. Everything is pulled out from the bookshelves. Tables are moved into the middle of the room. Laundry baskets are upended onto the bed. Everything is just torn apart.
Andrea Gunning
In the middle of their upended home stood Joe.
April
He's very Calm. And. And I asked him. I was like, did they tell you what is this about? And he was like, no, they didn't tell me anything. They just said that they had a search warrant. But the search warrant doesn't say what the allegations are. It doesn't say anything.
Andrea Gunning
April's mind was spinning, trying to make sense of the unsettling scene she found herself in.
April
Logically, I'm thinking, okay, they took his work vehicle. So I told him, I said, obviously, it has to do with your job. They took your car. So can you think of anything that you might have done? Because sometimes he would come home and say, yeah, one of my students just. She totally had an anxiety attack and, like, broke down crying in the car kind of thing. Like, did you maybe hug one of your students? Because, you know, they were upset. And he was like, no, no, nothing. I can't think of anything.
Andrea Gunning
But the fallout was immediate.
April
He gets put on administrative leave from the company.
Andrea Gunning
April and Joe were desperate what the police were doing at their house.
April
We made the decision to hire a pretrial attorney to see if we could get any information on what the allegations were or what we could do.
Andrea Gunning
In the weeks that followed, April kept pressing Joe. Surely he had to have some inkling of what was going on.
April
I was constantly asking him, is there anything? Can you think of anything?
Andrea Gunning
But every time, the answer was no. And April wanted to believe him. Everything had been going well since Joe started his job as a driving instructor.
April
He had never once indicated that there was anything on his job that was of concern. He had never told me anything other than that he was referred all the time to other students.
Andrea Gunning
April was out of ideas. All she could do was wait for answers. In the meantime, April and Jo decided to move. Their house had started feeling too small.
April
So we started looking for houses, and I found one about three miles north of where we had been living that I just fell in love with. So we signed a lease.
Andrea Gunning
Slowly, they started moving boxes to their new house. And they ordered new furniture, too. This place would be a fresh start.
April
It was January 11th. He was driving me to work. We pull out of our house. We get about two blocks from the old house, and he looks at me and he says, I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.
Andrea Gunning
April snapped around to face him.
April
I was like, why would you say that? And he goes, well, when we pulled out from the house, two vehicles pulled in behind us. And then a marked police vehicle pulled in behind those two cars. Within seconds of that coming out of his mouth, the squad car lit us up and pulled us over.
Andrea Gunning
April was frantic, but oddly, Joe wasn't. It seemed like he knew this moment would come.
April
He just very calmly handed me his cell phone, put his hands on the steering wheel, turned the car off and a uniformed officer comes up to the driver's side door, tells him to unlock the door. He he gets out of the car and I'm just sitting there very quietly freaking out. I still have no idea what is going on.
Andrea Gunning
Finally, two detectives came to the passenger side door where April sat. One of them leaned over to talk with her.
April
That's when she proceeds to tell me they have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18.
Andrea Gunning
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Andrea Gunning
one day when Joe was driving April to work, he turned to her and calmly told her that he was about to be arrested. Moments later, the cops pulled them over and took him out of the car, leaving April alone in the passenger seat, terrified and confused. Finally, a detective told April what her husband was being arrested for.
April
They have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18. I just went numb. My entire system went into shock.
Andrea Gunning
April didn't want to believe the detective's words. She had long ago come to terms with her husband's flaws, but she never imagined him to be a dangerous person.
April
In my head I was like, he might be a liar, he might be a lousy husband, he might be lazy, he might be all these things. He's not a child predator.
Andrea Gunning
But then the detective explained to April
April
what they found when they took his vehicle. Hidden underneath the steering column, they found a small camera that would allow him to video and take pictures of girls and their private areas, and that they have Proof of it on his computer.
Andrea Gunning
The evidence was irrefutable, and there was a lot of it. Then the detective began to ask April questions.
April
She's like, did you ever purchase a camera for the car? And I said, yeah, we did. And she goes, what did he tell you about that camera? And I said, just that he wanted to have a camera in the vehicle to protect not only himself, but to protect the people that he was teaching to drive.
Andrea Gunning
When Joe said he was using that camera for safety, April believed him. But in reality, the camera was part of Joe's twisted crimes. He'd been sexually abusing young girls who were his driving students. He did it while they were driving. His driver's ed car was a trap for the girls, defending themselves. Even just taking their hands off the wheel could mean risking their life. On top of that, Joe videotaped the attacks and saved those videos to his personal devices so he could re watch them. Once one girl came forward, forward, it was like a dam broke. April was in shock, and the detective could see that. She told April that she would follow up with her in a few days time. The police drove away with Joe in the backseat. April sat in her car, the silence ringing in her ears. She didn't want to be alone with her thoughts, so she started making calls.
April
I made a phone call to the attorney, told him what happened. I tried calling my dad. I tried calling my parents, and they weren't awake yet. Then I call a friend of mine, and I'm like, I need you and your husband to come help me because I don't know what to do. And I need somebody here that can think because I can't think right now. So they met me at the new house, and I felt like I was spending the day just in limbo. I am waiting to hear anything from Joe or the attorney. I'm waiting to hear from my pastor. I'm just waiting.
Andrea Gunning
She didn't know what she should do next.
April
It was like everything in my life just exploded all at once. I was scrambling to try and grab any pieces that I could hold onto to just try and make sense of what was happening, but there was nothing to grab a hold of.
Andrea Gunning
Finally, her pastor called her back.
April
He's like, april, why did I just get a phone call from a reporter? They're asking me about Joe.
Andrea Gunning
Joe's arrest was all over the news.
April
Within four hours, the San Diego Police Department did a press release where they put his name out there. They listed every single charge, everything from harassment of a minor to sexual assault. And it went across the news nationwide, his brother, who lives in Texas, heard about it. Before I could even call him, April's
Andrea Gunning
phone was ringing all day. And one of those calls was from Joe in jail.
April
In that phone call, he was just very calm. There was no emotion. He was just like, they've charged me as a child molester. It was just almost very matter of fact.
Andrea Gunning
April knew the facts of the case. She decided to give him one chance to be honest with her.
April
I asked him, is any of this true? And he's like, no, no, none of it is true. I'm like, Joe, it's 11 girls. He's like, I know, but you know, no, it's not true.
Andrea Gunning
She knew he was lying. That Tuesday was Joe's arraignment. April decided to go. It would be hard to see him, but she needed to see what he had done, and she wanted to know what was going to happen to him.
April
When I went into the courtroom, I had to go and give them my name and who I was there for in my relationship to the person that I was there for. So I told him. I said, here's my name. I'm here for Richard Joseph Banks. I'm his spouse. And then the woman that was right behind me, she gave her name. She looked at me. I looked at her, and. And she said, I'm here for Richard Joe Banks. I'm the mother of one of his. And she stopped. She looked at me again, and I said, victims. And she goes, victims. I looked at her, and I just started crying. And I said, I am so sorry. I had no idea that any of this was happening. I didn't know, and I'm so sorry for the damage. And she came over to me, and she just hugged me, and she said, I know, and it's gonna be okay. We both just stood there hugging each other and just sobbing.
Andrea Gunning
Then the arraignment got underway.
April
The DA stands up, and she talks through how many charges there are, and then he goes through every single one of the girls. Basically. He doesn't name any of them. He just uses their initials. But he's like, you will not speak. Contact. See? Each of the girls asked, is that understood? He says, yes, sir, I understand. And that was the one and only time that I went to court for him, because after that, it was like, I'm done. I'm done.
Andrea Gunning
April focused her energy on moving into her house. And suddenly, the fact that Joe had never called this place home felt like a breath of fresh air.
April
I spent the rest of that week getting everything set up. In my new house with all new furniture that he's never sat on, never touched, never slept in.
Andrea Gunning
But she still had all of Joe's belongings.
April
I remembered that I still had his cell phone. And I was like, I wonder if there's anything here that I need to see. So I started looking through it and came across a folder that was the same name as the video camera that we had purchased for his work vehicle. So I pull up those files, and I started looking through them, and sure enough, there's pictures of him touching girls. I just got sick, and I threw the phone. I had now officially seen for myself what he had done, and I just. I. Like, I just was sick. I was sick.
Andrea Gunning
The next day, April had dinner with her parents and told them that her marriage with Joe was over.
April
My dad, he looks at me, he goes, I want to be clear. You're getting a divorce? And I said, yes, I am getting a divorce. Both my mom and dad were so relieved because they had spent years loving Joe and really taking him under their wing and treated. Treating him like family. But for both of them, there had always been this underlying mistrust that I never knew about. I never knew they had that.
Andrea Gunning
As she disentangled herself from Joe, more and more lies began to emerge. April and Joe had been planning to take a cruise to celebrate their 20th anniversary. She'd been giving him money every month out of her paycheck, and he was putting it towards the cruise. But after the arrest, I went to
April
cancel our 20th anniversary cruise. He had told me he had put close to $3,000 down, so I'm expecting to get some of that back. But he had only put $200 down.
Andrea Gunning
So what was he doing with that money from April's paychecks? She isn't sure, but in the course of his sentencing, she found out he was giving money to the girls he sexually abused.
April
He was paying students or students, families. When a student would pass their driver's test, it was presented as a congratulatory gift. And some of the girls that he was giving money to were ones that he violated. But I personally think that he was using it in some way as a bribe to. To keep them quiet.
Andrea Gunning
In the end, Joe pled guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence. He received five years in state prison. Once he was sent away, April made one final appointment to speak with Joe face to face.
April
I knew it was going to be the last time that I would see him. So I went to the prison, sat down across from him, and I looked at him, and I Said, do you understand what you've done?
Andrea Gunning
Joe stared blankly back at her.
April
He just very calmly and quizzically looked at me. He said, but why would they continue to refer me? And my jaw just dropped. It was like. So that made it okay because you were still being referred. You were probably being referred by their parents, who had no idea that you were doing this to them.
Andrea Gunning
Joe had no remorse. He spoke about his crimes like he was discussing the weather.
April
That's when I realized there was something seriously disconnected, something seriously wrong with him, because what he did was absolutely horrific. And there's nothing that indicates that he understands or is remorseful or has any ounce of understanding of what he has done.
Andrea Gunning
April's community rallied around her.
April
I had a friend stay with me for about three months during that time, just so I wasn't alone. I've got some incredible friends that I've made over the years that I didn't realize how incredible they were until this.
Andrea Gunning
She had a great support system, but there was a lot of internal work she had to face on her own during that time.
April
I'm going through a lot of therapy. I was seeing a therapist at the time, about three times a week. I needed to talk to somebody that wasn't emotionally connected to any of it.
Andrea Gunning
Slowly, she began to unpack the emotions she had been carrying.
April
There was so much grieving happening, Grieving the life that I thought I had, grieving the marriage that I wish I had had, grieving the marriage I did
Andrea Gunning
have, but underneath the grief with something else.
April
So much anger, anger for how I was treated. Still, to this day, I get so angry because I feel like his victims deserve so much more than what they're getting. So much more. He took a plea deal, and the judge gave him five years with time served. Like, it's not fair. It's not fair to the girls. They deserve so much more than that
Andrea Gunning
because they were minors. The full names of Joe's victims weren't released. This was to protect the girl's privacy. While she has never met them personally, April thinks of them often.
April
I don't know who his victims are, but if for some reason any of them ever listen, I would say that I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. If I had known, I would have done everything within my power to stop it.
Andrea Gunning
Since his arrest, the number of known victims has risen to 18. Joe could be out of prison as soon as spring of 2026, but he'll never have a place in April's world again.
April
I have no need to to see him. I don't talk to him. I have nothing to do with him. At this point,
Andrea Gunning
April has been busy building a life that brings her joy.
April
It's just me and my dog and my cat. I'm loving living by myself. My home is my sanctuary. Now. I'm rediscovering reading. I'm getting to explore new foods. I've gotten to travel quite a bit because there are places that I've always wanted to go to and he never did. I'm finding a whole new sense of freedom.
Andrea Gunning
What April endured with Joe has forced her to reckon with what it means to truly know someone. We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story?
April
I wanted to talk about it because finding this podcast was a huge part of what helped me to hear experiences that so closely mirror your own. There's something different about that. I suddenly realized that I wasn't alone. Some people have the uncanny ability to hide the deepest, darkest parts of themselves, themselves from those that are closest to them, and sometimes maybe even from themselves. There's no way to ever really truly know a person, and I just have to resign myself to the fact that this was a part of him that he was never going to allow anyone to see until it was too late.
Andrea Gunning
On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly, I'm in shock and disbelief. Like, just nauseatingly sick. The reality, I guess, is slowly sinking in that my life is all a lie.
April
He's in the kitchen going to the coffee machine to make himself an espresso, and he literally looks at me and shrugs and he's like so.
Andrea Gunning
If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team or want to tell us your Betrayal story, email us@betrayalpodgmail.com that's betrayalpodmail.com or follow us on Instagram betrayalpod. You can also connect with me on Instagram. Andrea Go to access our newsletter, view additional content and connect with the Betrayal community. Join our substack@betrayal.substack.com we're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison, hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. This episode was written and produced by Olivia Hewitt and Monique Laborde with additional production from Ben Federman Casting support from Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Kreincheck Audio editing and mixing by Matt D. Vecchio Additional audio editing by Tanner Robbins Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines Music library provided by My Music and for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Find home wherever you roam at Sinesta Es and Simply Suites where longer stays feel comfortable, flexible and easy. Stretch out and enjoy spacious accommodations and homelike amenities designed to help you settle in and stay productive or relaxed for however long you need. And when you're a Sonesta Travel Pass member, staying at Sinesta Es and Simply Suites means earning points towards free nights, upgrades and more with every eligible stay. Go to Sonesta.com to book your stay and unlock the best rates with Sonesta Travel Pass here today, Rome tomorrow. Join now@sonesta.com terms and conditions apply when it comes to advancing your education, you have more options than you think. At Rasmussen University they find ways to remove barriers, not build them like a new laptop if you're eligible and enroll in select online or on campus programs. That also means flexible and engaging online courses and resources, tuition saving options if you qualify, exceptional student support and much more online nationally or check out their 20 campuses across six states. Start when you're ready and get the support you need. Visit Rasmussen. Edu.
April
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Andrea Gunning
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April
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Andrea Gunning
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April
Guaranteed Human.
Date: December 4, 2025
Host: Andrea Gunning
Guest: April
This episode of Betrayal Weekly features April’s harrowing story of trust violated and a life upended by the shocking criminal revelations of her husband, Joe. The narrative follows April from her idyllic San Diego childhood and church life through the blossoming, then fracturing, of their marriage. Ultimately, April endures the bombshell discovery of her husband’s crimes against minors—facing a profound betrayal while finding the strength to reclaim her own life.
“I was definitely a tomboy growing up and so my joke had always been that I was the son my dad never had.”
(April, 04:00)
“Being adopted you deal with trauma in the sense that you were almost rejected from birth. So I want people to know that they belong, that they have a place.”
(April, 04:28)
“His hand is in front of me with a ring box. And this beautiful marquee cut diamond ring is in the middle of it...I was so happy and I just. I had felt so safe and loved that it was like, yeah, this is my person.”
(April, 13:43)
“I’d never been with a man, period. Like, I’d never had sex until him. So he was my first.”
(April, 21:38)
“I would notice...he would be chatting with young girls, not necessarily teenage girls, but maybe early 20s...He could make it sound so logical and so reasonable.”
(April, 25:40)
“He could make me feel like I was going insane. I legitimately had moments where I was like, am I losing my mind?”
(April, 32:08)
“The house is just trashed…Everything is just torn apart.”
(April, 36:18)
“I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.”
(Joe to April, 39:08)
“They have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18. I just went numb.”
(April, 40:40; repeated 45:05)
“I'm here for Richard Joe Banks. I'm the mother of one of his... victims.”
(Victim’s mother, 50:28)
“I just got sick… I had now officially seen for myself what he had done, and I just… I… Like, I just was sick. I was sick.”
(April, 53:25)
“He was paying students... I personally think that he was using it in some way as a bribe to keep them quiet.”
(April, 54:50)
“He just very calmly and quizzically looked at me. He said, but why would they continue to refer me?”
(Joe, 55:51) “That’s when I realized there was something seriously disconnected...there’s nothing that indicates that he understands or is remorseful.”
(April, 56:27)
“I’m going through a lot of therapy. ...There was so much grieving happening, grieving the life that I thought I had, grieving the marriage that I wish I had had, grieving the marriage I did have.”
(April, 57:22; 57:39)
“Still, to this day, I get so angry because I feel like his victims deserve so much more than what they're getting.”
(April, 57:54)
“If for some reason any of them ever listen, I would say that I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. If I had known, I would have done everything within my power to stop it.”
(April, 58:36)
"It's just me and my dog and my cat. ...I'm loving living by myself. My home is my sanctuary now...I'm finding a whole new sense of freedom."
(April, 59:23)
“Some people have the uncanny ability to hide the deepest, darkest parts of themselves from those that are closest to them, and sometimes maybe even from themselves. There’s no way to ever really truly know a person...”
(April, 60:36)
“I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.” (Joe, 39:08) “They have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18.” (Detective to April, 40:40)
“He might be a liar, he might be a lousy husband, he might be lazy, he might be all these things. He's not a child predator.”
(April, 45:37)
“I'm here for Richard Joe Banks. I'm the mother of one of his... victims.”
“He just very calmly and quizzically looked at me. He said, but why would they continue to refer me?”
(April sharing Joe’s response, 55:51)
“There was so much grieving happening, grieving the life that I thought I had, grieving the marriage that I wish I had had, grieving the marriage I did have.”
(April, 57:39)
“I'm so sorry for what you've been through. If I had known, I would have done everything within my power to stop it.”
(April, 58:36)
“There's no way to ever really truly know a person, and I just have to resign myself to the fact that this was a part of him that he was never going to allow anyone to see until it was too late.”
(April, 60:36)
April’s story is a powerful account of trust, denial, and the shattering journey from safety to betrayal. The podcast does not sensationalize her trauma but honors the depth of her pain and the resilience she finds through therapy, friendship, and self-discovery. Her closing reflection on the unknowability of others and her resolve to move forward is bittersweet, candid, and deeply affecting—a true testament to the human spirit in the ruins of betrayal.