Betrayal Weekly

Episode: "April"

Date: December 4, 2025
Host: Andrea Gunning
Guest: April

Overview

This episode of Betrayal Weekly features April’s harrowing story of trust violated and a life upended by the shocking criminal revelations of her husband, Joe. The narrative follows April from her idyllic San Diego childhood and church life through the blossoming, then fracturing, of their marriage. Ultimately, April endures the bombshell discovery of her husband’s crimes against minors—facing a profound betrayal while finding the strength to reclaim her own life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. April’s Early Life and Values (03:34–05:17)

• Adoption & Family: April was adopted at six weeks old, formed a deep bond with her parents, and idolized their loving marriage.
• Quote:

  “I was definitely a tomboy growing up and so my joke had always been that I was the son my dad never had.”
  (April, 04:00)

• Faith & Belonging: Raised in a Christian environment, church was central—both a spiritual anchor and a community hub.
• Quote:

  “Being adopted you deal with trauma in the sense that you were almost rejected from birth. So I want people to know that they belong, that they have a place.”
  (April, 04:28)

2. Meeting Joe – The Beginnings of Love (06:20–14:19)

• Chance Encounter: April meets Joe—her future husband—by chance at church as she’s preparing to leave for leadership school in Australia.
• Reluctant Relationship: Initially reluctant due to her plans and his complicated past, April is eventually won over by Joe’s persistence and kindness.
• Long-Distance Courtship: The year apart cements their bond via daily international phone calls, deepening their emotional intimacy.
• Romantic Proposal: Upon April’s return, Joe proposes with a romantic gesture overlooking the Pacific.
• Quote:

  “His hand is in front of me with a ring box. And this beautiful marquee cut diamond ring is in the middle of it...I was so happy and I just. I had felt so safe and loved that it was like, yeah, this is my person.”
  (April, 13:43)

3. Marriage, Family Life & Early Troubles (20:56–25:22)

• Marriage: April and Joe marry with a simple ceremony, writing non-traditional, supportive vows.
• Early Adjustments: Transitioning into domestic life is challenging, with April quickly feeling the imbalance of household responsibilities.
  • Quote:

    “I’d never been with a man, period. Like, I’d never had sex until him. So he was my first.”
    (April, 21:38)

• Family Blending: April welcomes Joe’s children from his first marriage during difficult stretches; Joe faces extended unemployment and begins to drink.
• Warning Signs: April’s father is skeptical, suspecting inconsistencies in Joe’s stories early on.

4. Subtle Red Flags & Manipulation (25:32–32:52)

• Joe’s Behavior with Youth: Joe volunteers with youth at church and takes a protective role, but April notices interactions with young women during live stream tech help and later, at a horse rescue.
  • Quote:

    “I would notice...he would be chatting with young girls, not necessarily teenage girls, but maybe early 20s...He could make it sound so logical and so reasonable.”
    (April, 25:40)

• First Confrontations: April feels discomfort when Joe spends time alone with a teenage volunteer; both she and the girl’s mother enforce new boundaries.
• Gaslighting: Joe fabricates stories about jobs, then denies it, causing April to doubt her own perceptions.
  • Quote:

    “He could make me feel like I was going insane. I legitimately had moments where I was like, am I losing my mind?”
    (April, 32:08)

5. Illusion of Stability Shattered (33:02–40:32)

• Return to Normalcy?: Joe becomes a driving instructor; life appears to stabilize. April is advancing in her career.
• Police Raid (34:45–36:18): April receives a disturbing Ring alert and sees police at their door—police seize electronics and Joe’s work vehicle in a shocking raid.
• Quote:

  “The house is just trashed…Everything is just torn apart.”
  (April, 36:18)

6. The Devastating Arrest (39:08–41:19)

• Joe’s Ominous Warning: On a routine drive, Joe calmly predicts his own arrest just minutes before police stop them and take him into custody.
  • Quote:

    “I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.”
    (Joe to April, 39:08)

• The Revelation: April learns Joe is being charged with 32 counts of child molestation involving 11 girls, 10 of whom are minors.
  • Quote:

    “They have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18. I just went numb.”
    (April, 40:40; repeated 45:05)

7. Aftermath: Grief, Shock & Self-Discovery (41:19–54:38)

• Media Storm & Fallout: Details of Joe’s arrest are made public and spread rapidly; April is thrust into the public eye.
• Confrontation & Closure:
  • April attends Joe’s arraignment—meeting a victim’s mother and offering a raw, emotional apology.
    • Quote:

      “I'm here for Richard Joe Banks. I'm the mother of one of his... victims.”
      (Victim’s mother, 50:28)

  • April finds direct evidence of Joe’s crimes on his phone, confirming her worst fears.
    • Quote:

      “I just got sick… I had now officially seen for myself what he had done, and I just… I… Like, I just was sick. I was sick.”
      (April, 53:25)

• Money Lies: April learns Joe secretly paid the girls he abused under the guise of congratulatory gifts.
  • Quote:

    “He was paying students... I personally think that he was using it in some way as a bribe to keep them quiet.”
    (April, 54:50)

8. Final Reckoning & Steps Toward Healing (55:18–59:48)

• Last Visit: April confronts Joe in prison, only to find him utterly devoid of remorse.
  • Quote:

    “He just very calmly and quizzically looked at me. He said, but why would they continue to refer me?”
    (Joe, 55:51) “That’s when I realized there was something seriously disconnected...there’s nothing that indicates that he understands or is remorseful.”
    (April, 56:27)

• Support System: April leans on friends, family, and intensive therapy to navigate her pain, anger, and grief.
  • Quote:

    “I’m going through a lot of therapy. ...There was so much grieving happening, grieving the life that I thought I had, grieving the marriage that I wish I had had, grieving the marriage I did have.”
    (April, 57:22; 57:39)

• Justice Served?: Joe is sentenced to five years; April expresses deep anger about the leniency, stressing his victims deserve more.
  • Quote:

    “Still, to this day, I get so angry because I feel like his victims deserve so much more than what they're getting.”
    (April, 57:54)

• Speaking to Victims:

  “If for some reason any of them ever listen, I would say that I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. If I had known, I would have done everything within my power to stop it.”
  (April, 58:36)

9. Moving Forward (59:11–60:56)

• New Beginnings: April outlines her life post-betrayal: living alone, forging new routines, discovering freedom and joy without Joe.
  • Quote:

    "It's just me and my dog and my cat. ...I'm loving living by myself. My home is my sanctuary now...I'm finding a whole new sense of freedom."
    (April, 59:23)

• Lessons on Trust: April shares why she chose to tell her story.
  • Quote:

    “Some people have the uncanny ability to hide the deepest, darkest parts of themselves from those that are closest to them, and sometimes maybe even from themselves. There’s no way to ever really truly know a person...”
    (April, 60:36)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• The Arrest (39:08 / 40:40):

  “I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.” (Joe, 39:08) “They have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18.” (Detective to April, 40:40)

• On Betrayal:

  “He might be a liar, he might be a lousy husband, he might be lazy, he might be all these things. He's not a child predator.”
  (April, 45:37)

• Raw Empathy (50:28):

  “I'm here for Richard Joe Banks. I'm the mother of one of his... victims.”

• On Remorse:

  “He just very calmly and quizzically looked at me. He said, but why would they continue to refer me?”
  (April sharing Joe’s response, 55:51)

• Grief & Resilience:

  “There was so much grieving happening, grieving the life that I thought I had, grieving the marriage that I wish I had had, grieving the marriage I did have.”
  (April, 57:39)

• To the Unseen Victims:

  “I'm so sorry for what you've been through. If I had known, I would have done everything within my power to stop it.”
  (April, 58:36)

• On Not Knowing Someone:

  “There's no way to ever really truly know a person, and I just have to resign myself to the fact that this was a part of him that he was never going to allow anyone to see until it was too late.”
  (April, 60:36)

Important Timestamps

• Meeting Joe: 06:20
• Proposal: 13:40
• Marriage: 20:56
• Family Blending: 23:32
• Barn Red Flag Incident: 27:49–29:56
• Job Lies & Gaslighting: 31:13–32:52
• Police Raid: 34:45
• Driving to Work – Arrest: 39:08–40:40
• Learning Details of Charges: 45:05
• Arraignment & Empathy with a Victim’s Mother: 50:28
• Seeing Evidence Herself: 53:25
• Final Confrontation in Prison: 55:31
• Reflections on Healing & Moving On: 57:22–60:56

Conclusion

April’s story is a powerful account of trust, denial, and the shattering journey from safety to betrayal. The podcast does not sensationalize her trauma but honors the depth of her pain and the resilience she finds through therapy, friendship, and self-discovery. Her closing reflection on the unknowability of others and her resolve to move forward is bittersweet, candid, and deeply affecting—a true testament to the human spirit in the ruins of betrayal.