Betrayal Weekly: Brandi – Betrayal, Hindsight, and Justice

Podcast: Betrayal Weekly
Episode: Brandi
Hosts: Andrea Gunning & Brandi Dredge
Date: August 28, 2025

Overview

This powerful episode of Betrayal Weekly centers on Brandi Dredge’s harrowing life story—from a rural Missouri childhood shaped by traditional gender norms to a tumultuous relationship with an older man named Gary Richard that led to teenage pregnancy, marriage, domestic abuse, and ultimately a stunning legal reckoning that forced Brandi to confront the very foundation of her adult life. Told with raw vulnerability and keen hindsight, Brandi’s journey explores cycles of grooming, manipulation, institutional failure, and the challenging road to healing and advocacy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Brandi’s Upbringing and Early Relationships

• Childhood in Missouri (04:28–06:02):
  • Brandi describes a rural, working-class upbringing, learning that a woman's role is to serve her husband ("Performance-based love that isn’t really love" – Brandi, 05:49).
• First Love and Heartbreak (06:41–07:47):
  • As a teenager, her sense of worth is tied to making men happy—she finds security and self-esteem in relationships.
• Meeting Gary Richard (08:01–10:07):
  • After a breakup, she attends a party at a notorious local apartment and meets Gary Richard, an older man whose charisma and apparent worldliness attract her.
  • “When I saw him, like that was it. I just wanted to keep knowing more about him.” (Brandi, 08:34)

2. Grooming, Pregnancy, and Young Marriage

• Rapidly Escalating Relationship (10:07–13:23):
  • At 16, Brandi enjoys the adult thrill of being with Gary (age 24), ignoring the red flags—including his criminal past.
• Teen Pregnancy (13:23–14:52):
  • Brandi becomes pregnant four months after meeting Gary. He remains calm and proposes starting a family.
  • "I knew as long as I had him, I would be okay..." (Brandi, 13:51)
• Family Response and Marriage (14:07–18:38):
  • Despite her parents' objections, Brandi insists on moving in with Gary; her mother reluctantly consents to their marriage under attorney pressure, aiming to help Gary avoid jail by showing he’s reformed.

3. Life as a Teenage Wife and Mom

• Juggling School & Family (23:28–24:38):
  • Brandi avoids becoming a ‘statistic’ by finishing high school.
  • "It just kind of felt like this challenge of, yeah, I’m going to show you that that’s not going to be me." (Brandi, 23:52)
• Early Marriage Dynamics:
  • Despite outward signs of family life—parties, parenting, buying a house—Gary’s immaturity, financial instability, and troubling fixation on young people persist.
  • "When you’re looking at someone through rose colored glasses, red flags are invisible." (Brandi, 24:38)

4. Cracks in the Facade & Escalating Control

• Financial Abuse & Emotional Erosion (27:29–28:47):
  • Gary’s financial irresponsibility leaves Brandi scrambling, while verbal putdowns erode her self-worth.
• Police Involvement & Shocking Revelations (29:12–37:13):
  • Nine years into marriage, police serve Gary with a restraining order due to a 15-year-old girl’s allegations. Brandi at first believes his denials, but finds hard evidence of online sexual contact with teens.

5. The Turning Point – Leaving Gary Richard

• Taking Control (32:11–34:14):
  • Brandi confronts Gary, kicks him out, and attempts to protect herself and her son.
• Escalation of Threats and Violence (34:14–35:11):
  • Gary flattens Brandi’s tire, sabotages her car, and threatens self-harm in front of her while physically trapping her at home.
  • "At that point...I was firm in it, I was powerful. And you know, it felt like for one of the first times, you know, like I'm actually in control." (Brandi, 32:19)

6. Legal Aftermath and Unexpected Charges

• Statutory Rape Shocker (35:46–37:13, 41:10–43:58):
  • Brandi cooperates with police investigating Gary for the sexual assault of minors.
  • The prosecutor charges Gary with statutory rape not just for the teenage accusers, but also for Brandi herself, since she was a minor when pregnant and there's DNA evidence.
  • "Then he said, they're gonna charge him for you. I went white...I have a son, it's DNA." (Brandi, 37:13)
• Internal Conflict and Shame:
  • Brandi struggles to see herself as a ‘victim’ and her son as 'evidence.'
  • "It just felt like, man, you just erased, like, my whole life. And that it was all wrong." (Brandi, 43:51)

7. Conviction & Recovery

• Gary's Conviction & Sentencing (45:01–47:16):
  • Gary confesses under a plea; Brandi divorces him—finally recognizing the full reality of his predatory behavior after reading a chilling prison letter (“There isn’t a man that doesn’t look at a teenage girl and want to have sex with her.” – Gary Richard, read by Brandi, 47:23).
• Life After Abuse (48:00–50:20):
  • Brandi finds strength in her community, reflecting, “Just amazing things unfolded as far as like the kindness of people.”
  • She describes the deep psychological scar: “You don’t realize how slowly pieces of yourself are fading out...until there’s not really a you left.” (Brandi, 49:11)

8. Healing, Advocacy, and Hindsight

• Finding Support & Advocacy (50:20–51:29):
  • Emotional healing comes through church women’s groups and sharing common experiences.
  • Brandi becomes an anti-child marriage advocate, testifying to change Missouri law (“...that law being on the books at the time, my marriage would never have been able to happen.” – Brandi, 52:16).
• Owning the Terminology (52:26–52:48):
  • Through advocacy, she reclaims her story: “It took me a long time...to say that I’m child marriage, sex crime and domestic violence survivor.”
  • She says, “I married my rapist.” (52:48)
• Publishing the Memoir (53:19–53:39):
  • Brandi writes and publishes her memoir, Girl Uncoded, finding catharsis in telling her truth.

9. Legacy and Final Reflections

• Memoir’s Closing Passage (53:35):
  • “I was no longer ashamed of my life, my home, or the choices I had made...I’m proud of it. Proud of me.” (Brandi, 53:35)
• Why Brandi Shares Her Story (54:19):
  • “If this can help one person see abuse in a different way, see manipulation in a different way...that’s why.” (Brandi, 54:19)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Never ever did I see that coming. Ever. I truly thought I was going in to help someone else and then I’m being questioned. What do you mean? I’m his wife. This isn’t a crime. We weren’t a crime.” (Brandi, 02:55)
• “When you’re looking at someone through rose colored glasses, red flags are invisible.” (Brandi, 24:38)
• “He told me that they were charging him for me because I had evidence of the crime. I have a son, it’s DNA. And with the other girls, it was their word against his.” (Brandi, 42:17)
• “It just felt like, man, you just erased my whole life. And that it was all wrong.” (Brandi, 43:51)
• “Hindsight’s a powerful thing, and we share the stories so that hopefully somebody will see it and the light bulb might go off.” (Brandi, 03:43)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Brandi describes her upbringing: 04:28–06:02
• First meeting Gary Richard: 08:01–10:07
• Teen pregnancy and moving out: 13:23–14:52
• Early marriage and financial hardship: 23:28–28:17
• First police intervention: 29:12–37:13
• Discovery of Gary's crimes: 31:12–34:14
• Police/prosecutor reveal charges (shock): 37:13–43:58
• Gary's sentencing and aftermath: 45:01–47:16
• Brandi’s healing and advocacy: 50:20–52:48
• Passage from memoir: 53:35
• Brandi's motivation to share: 54:19

Tone & Authenticity

Throughout the episode, Brandi’s narrative is honest, introspective, and sometimes painfully direct. Andrea Gunning provides empathetic guidance, asking measured questions and contextualizing Brandi’s experience for listeners while letting Brandi’s voice remain front and center.

Conclusion

Brandi’s story is a stark exploration of how grooming and manipulation can hide in plain sight, how survivors are forced to confront trauma on multiple legal and personal levels, and how hindsight and recovery can lead to powerful advocacy. Through sharing her story, Brandi hopes to help others see what she couldn’t—and to change the world for those at risk of similar fates.

Further Reading:

• Brandi’s memoir: Girl Uncoded
• National Coalition to End Child Marriage

Next week: A deeper dive into Gary Richard’s broader pattern of grooming and manipulation, seen through the eyes of other community members.