Brandi | Betrayal Weekly

Summary

Betrayal Weekly: Brandi – Betrayal, Hindsight, and Justice

Podcast: Betrayal Weekly
Episode: Brandi
Hosts: Andrea Gunning & Brandi Dredge
Date: August 28, 2025

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Overview

This powerful episode of Betrayal Weekly centers on Brandi Dredge’s harrowing life story—from a rural Missouri childhood shaped by traditional gender norms to a tumultuous relationship with an older man named Gary Richard that led to teenage pregnancy, marriage, domestic abuse, and ultimately a stunning legal reckoning that forced Brandi to confront the very foundation of her adult life. Told with raw vulnerability and keen hindsight, Brandi’s journey explores cycles of grooming, manipulation, institutional failure, and the challenging road to healing and advocacy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Brandi’s Upbringing and Early Relationships

• Childhood in Missouri (04:28–06:02):
  • Brandi describes a rural, working-class upbringing, learning that a woman's role is to serve her husband ("Performance-based love that isn’t really love" – Brandi, 05:49).
• First Love and Heartbreak (06:41–07:47):
  • As a teenager, her sense of worth is tied to making men happy—she finds security and self-esteem in relationships.
• Meeting Gary Richard (08:01–10:07):
  • After a breakup, she attends a party at a notorious local apartment and meets Gary Richard, an older man whose charisma and apparent worldliness attract her.
  • “When I saw him, like that was it. I just wanted to keep knowing more about him.” (Brandi, 08:34)

2. Grooming, Pregnancy, and Young Marriage

• Rapidly Escalating Relationship (10:07–13:23):
  • At 16, Brandi enjoys the adult thrill of being with Gary (age 24), ignoring the red flags—including his criminal past.
• Teen Pregnancy (13:23–14:52):
  • Brandi becomes pregnant four months after meeting Gary. He remains calm and proposes starting a family.
  • "I knew as long as I had him, I would be okay..." (Brandi, 13:51)
• Family Response and Marriage (14:07–18:38):
  • Despite her parents' objections, Brandi insists on moving in with Gary; her mother reluctantly consents to their marriage under attorney pressure, aiming to help Gary avoid jail by showing he’s reformed.

3. Life as a Teenage Wife and Mom

• Juggling School & Family (23:28–24:38):
  • Brandi avoids becoming a ‘statistic’ by finishing high school.
  • "It just kind of felt like this challenge of, yeah, I’m going to show you that that’s not going to be me." (Brandi, 23:52)
• Early Marriage Dynamics:
  • Despite outward signs of family life—parties, parenting, buying a house—Gary’s immaturity, financial instability, and troubling fixation on young people persist.
  • "When you’re looking at someone through rose colored glasses, red flags are invisible." (Brandi, 24:38)

4. Cracks in the Facade & Escalating Control

• Financial Abuse & Emotional Erosion (27:29–28:47):
  • Gary’s financial irresponsibility leaves Brandi scrambling, while verbal putdowns erode her self-worth.
• Police Involvement & Shocking Revelations (29:12–37:13):
  • Nine years into marriage, police serve Gary with a restraining order due to a 15-year-old girl’s allegations. Brandi at first believes his denials, but finds hard evidence of online sexual contact with teens.

5. The Turning Point – Leaving Gary Richard

• Taking Control (32:11–34:14):
  • Brandi confronts Gary, kicks him out, and attempts to protect herself and her son.
• Escalation of Threats and Violence (34:14–35:11):
  • Gary flattens Brandi’s tire, sabotages her car, and threatens self-harm in front of her while physically trapping her at home.
  • "At that point...I was firm in it, I was powerful. And you know, it felt like for one of the first times, you know, like I'm actually in control." (Brandi, 32:19)

6. Legal Aftermath and Unexpected Charges

• Statutory Rape Shocker (35:46–37:13, 41:10–43:58):
  • Brandi cooperates with police investigating Gary for the sexual assault of minors.
  • The prosecutor charges Gary with statutory rape not just for the teenage accusers, but also for Brandi herself, since she was a minor when pregnant and there's DNA evidence.
  • "Then he said, they're gonna charge him for you. I went white...I have a son, it's DNA." (Brandi, 37:13)
• Internal Conflict and Shame:
  • Brandi struggles to see herself as a ‘victim’ and her son as 'evidence.'
  • "It just felt like, man, you just erased, like, my whole life. And that it was all wrong." (Brandi, 43:51)

7. Conviction & Recovery

• Gary's Conviction & Sentencing (45:01–47:16):
  • Gary confesses under a plea; Brandi divorces him—finally recognizing the full reality of his predatory behavior after reading a chilling prison letter (“There isn’t a man that doesn’t look at a teenage girl and want to have sex with her.” – Gary Richard, read by Brandi, 47:23).
• Life After Abuse (48:00–50:20):
  • Brandi finds strength in her community, reflecting, “Just amazing things unfolded as far as like the kindness of people.”
  • She describes the deep psychological scar: “You don’t realize how slowly pieces of yourself are fading out...until there’s not really a you left.” (Brandi, 49:11)

8. Healing, Advocacy, and Hindsight

• Finding Support & Advocacy (50:20–51:29):
  • Emotional healing comes through church women’s groups and sharing common experiences.
  • Brandi becomes an anti-child marriage advocate, testifying to change Missouri law (“...that law being on the books at the time, my marriage would never have been able to happen.” – Brandi, 52:16).
• Owning the Terminology (52:26–52:48):
  • Through advocacy, she reclaims her story: “It took me a long time...to say that I’m child marriage, sex crime and domestic violence survivor.”
  • She says, “I married my rapist.” (52:48)
• Publishing the Memoir (53:19–53:39):
  • Brandi writes and publishes her memoir, Girl Uncoded, finding catharsis in telling her truth.

9. Legacy and Final Reflections

• Memoir’s Closing Passage (53:35):
  • “I was no longer ashamed of my life, my home, or the choices I had made...I’m proud of it. Proud of me.” (Brandi, 53:35)
• Why Brandi Shares Her Story (54:19):
  • “If this can help one person see abuse in a different way, see manipulation in a different way...that’s why.” (Brandi, 54:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Never ever did I see that coming. Ever. I truly thought I was going in to help someone else and then I’m being questioned. What do you mean? I’m his wife. This isn’t a crime. We weren’t a crime.” (Brandi, 02:55)
• “When you’re looking at someone through rose colored glasses, red flags are invisible.” (Brandi, 24:38)
• “He told me that they were charging him for me because I had evidence of the crime. I have a son, it’s DNA. And with the other girls, it was their word against his.” (Brandi, 42:17)
• “It just felt like, man, you just erased my whole life. And that it was all wrong.” (Brandi, 43:51)
• “Hindsight’s a powerful thing, and we share the stories so that hopefully somebody will see it and the light bulb might go off.” (Brandi, 03:43)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Brandi describes her upbringing: 04:28–06:02
• First meeting Gary Richard: 08:01–10:07
• Teen pregnancy and moving out: 13:23–14:52
• Early marriage and financial hardship: 23:28–28:17
• First police intervention: 29:12–37:13
• Discovery of Gary's crimes: 31:12–34:14
• Police/prosecutor reveal charges (shock): 37:13–43:58
• Gary's sentencing and aftermath: 45:01–47:16
• Brandi’s healing and advocacy: 50:20–52:48
• Passage from memoir: 53:35
• Brandi's motivation to share: 54:19

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Tone & Authenticity

Throughout the episode, Brandi’s narrative is honest, introspective, and sometimes painfully direct. Andrea Gunning provides empathetic guidance, asking measured questions and contextualizing Brandi’s experience for listeners while letting Brandi’s voice remain front and center.

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Conclusion

Brandi’s story is a stark exploration of how grooming and manipulation can hide in plain sight, how survivors are forced to confront trauma on multiple legal and personal levels, and how hindsight and recovery can lead to powerful advocacy. Through sharing her story, Brandi hopes to help others see what she couldn’t—and to change the world for those at risk of similar fates.

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Further Reading:

• Brandi’s memoir: Girl Uncoded
• National Coalition to End Child Marriage

Next week: A deeper dive into Gary Richard’s broader pattern of grooming and manipulation, seen through the eyes of other community members.

Transcript

[Brandi Dredge]

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[Brandi Dredge]

Never ever did I see that coming. Ever. I truly thought I was going in to help someone else and then I'm being questioned. What do you mean? I'm his wife. This isn't a crime. We weren't a crime.

[Andrea Gunning]

I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal. A show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything.

[Brandi Dredge]

Hindsight's a powerful thing and we share the stories so that hopefully somebody will see it and the light bulb might go off.

[Andrea Gunning]

That's Brandi Dredge. Her story is unlike anything we've ever heard before, and she's never found anyone with the same experience. It's about a betrayal that only came into focus with hindsight. And it's the story of a surprising legal intervention that forced Brandi to reconsider her entire life. As you're listening, you may think you know where the story is going, but everything here is a little more complicated than it seems. So let's start at the beginning. When she was growing up in the 80s in Missouri.

[Brandi Dredge]

A lot of home cooked meals, a lot of playing in the neighborhood until the street lights came on. And then you had to come home.

[Andrea Gunning]

Growing up, her parents struggled to make ends meet.

[Brandi Dredge]

My dad was a hunter. I mean, he grew up rural country. So you went out and got the deer and the rabbits and the squirrel and that's what filled our freezer as far as meat.

[Andrea Gunning]

As a treat, her parents would take her and her brother to Dairy Queen. But to afford it, we had to.

[Brandi Dredge]

Go out and collect nightcrawlers, the worms from the ground. So we'd go out and we'd collect nightcrawlers and then you'd fill them up in the Folgers can. Mom would drive us to to the bait shop and then you'd watch them get weighed out and then that determined how much money you were gonna get. So it was always good if you could get like $20. Cause then that meant we would be able to get blizzards.

[Andrea Gunning]

She grew up in a culture where wives served their husbands. And that was the dynamic she observed in her own household.

[Brandi Dredge]

My dad, by the time he got home, he, you know, expected his meals to be there when his tea glass would be empty. You know, you just tap the tea glass on the counter and then that meant, I need more tea. And then she would go fill up the tea.

[Andrea Gunning]

She absorbed important lessons from her parents relationship. The biggest one was that her purpose in life was to make a man happy.

[Brandi Dredge]

Just all that performance based love that isn't really love, but it is what I felt that you were supposed to do.

[Andrea Gunning]

Most of Brandi's childhood was spent playing outside with the neighborhood kids, playing house or recreating TV shows like the Dating Game.

[Brandi Dredge]

And we'd have the boys get on the one side of the house and be on the other corner and kind of ask them questions.

[Andrea Gunning]

In high school, she joined the cheerleading squad. It made her feel like somebody and like she was part of something. Brandi had a lot of time to herself because her dad worked double shifts and her mom was busy managing the household.

[Brandi Dredge]

Some of us were more rebellious than others and did the sneaking around behind our parents backs.

[Andrea Gunning]

Brandi would sneak out with her high school boyfriends.

[Brandi Dredge]

I seemed to kind of gravitate towards that bad boy image.

[Andrea Gunning]

In her sophomore year, she met a boy who wasn't like the rest of the.

[Brandi Dredge]

He was not a bad boy at all. Man. Just really treated me like I was gold and special. I never felt like he wanted just a body. I felt like, wow, he really cared about me as a person.

[Andrea Gunning]

When he left and went off to college, Randy still had another two years of high school.

[Brandi Dredge]

And then one day I was getting ready to go to cheerleading game. And he had called and said that he wanted a breakup with me. And man, I was devastated. So devastated, because I, yeah, I kind of thought that he. He's the one. But my friends were there to pick me up for the game. And they were like trying to cheer me up, you know, it's okay. We're gonna go to this party. Afterwards at this apartment, she agreed to.

[Andrea Gunning]

Go with her friends. Even though on the inside she was crushed about the breakup. She felt abandoned. The party was at an apartment where two high schoolers were living with an older guy.

[Brandi Dredge]

I would hear about this apartment because some boys at our school had lived with this man. And these boys had kind of rebelled from their parents and so they were living with him. So I would hear these rumors about this apartment, but up until this point, I had never been there.

[Andrea Gunning]

The rumors were about a good looking older guy who lived there, and she was curious.

[Brandi Dredge]

It was kind of almost like this celebrity.

[Andrea Gunning]

When she got there, she met Gary Richard, a man so infamous, he had two first names.

[Brandi Dredge]

When he walked in, I mean, he was stunning. He had black hair and it's like hung to his jawline. And he was muscular and had these blue eyes that very physically fit everything. When I saw him like that was it. I just wanted to keep knowing more about him and I wanted to interact with him.

[Andrea Gunning]

The sting of her breakup was still so fresh, but all of a sudden, the prospect of this older guy made her forget the pain for a minute. She was instantly intrigued. Her eyes followed him and I could.

[Brandi Dredge]

See from where I was sitting in the living room, he was in the bathroom and he was starting to shave his face. And so I went down there and was like, I want to shave your face.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was forward, flirtatious even. But Brandy was reeling from the rejection of the first guy who treated her well, the one she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. Now Gary Richard was making her feel seen and wanted.

[Brandi Dredge]

That attraction was just something I couldn't fight against. I guess I didn't want to fight against it. I mean, I just wanted him no matter what. What age didn't even come into the equation. I knew he was older, but I didn't know what that age was.

[Andrea Gunning]

She was 16, and she found out later. Gary Richard was 24 at the time. The age difference didn't even cross her mind.

[Brandi Dredge]

I mean, he just looked like he hung the moon. He was. Mm.

[Andrea Gunning]

But whether she thought about it in the moment or not, his age was a part of Gary Richards appeal.

[Brandi Dredge]

When you come across somebody that seems like they've had all these life experiences, you feel like, wow, I haven't did anything. I haven't even made it out of my hometown.

[Andrea Gunning]

He worked as a model for local businesses and bridal shows. He had multiple jobs and a car. For 16 year old Brandi, he was the epitome of cool. After the night they met, she and Gary Richard became an item.

[Brandi Dredge]

It wasn't like a conversation of, hey, would you like to go out? Would you like to be my girlfriend? We were just together. I would lie to my parents a lot about where I was going and I would end up staying the night with him.

[Andrea Gunning]

When she was with him, she felt like a grown up.

[Brandi Dredge]

He djed at a club in town. He would get me in and so I'd set up in the little DJ booth and then he'd bring me these butterscotch drinks from the bar and we would dance and we had so much fun dancing.

[Andrea Gunning]

He always seemed in control, like he knew what to do next and how to make it happen.

[Brandi Dredge]

I mean, he had this way about him, the way he would talk to people. He had this charm, like he could make people do whatever he wanted them to do. The other thing about him was he always seemed like he had wealth, like he just carried himself in a way where money never seemed to be an object for him. And for me, at 16, coming from my home where we're eaten the deer and the squirrel out of the freezer, I felt like I had struck gold.

[Andrea Gunning]

One night, Brandi's parents found out she'd been sneaking out and lying about where she was. So she came clean about Gary.

[Brandi Dredge]

Richard, I'm declaring, you know, that I love him. And at this point, you know, we had only been together just a few months, but, you know, professing my love for him, you know, and you're not going to be able to keep me from him and all these things.

[Andrea Gunning]

Her parents disapproved, but they didn't try to stop the relationship. What Brandi didn't tell them were the rumors she'd heard about her new boyfriend.

[Brandi Dredge]

He had gotten locked up, he didn't graduate from high school, got his GED in prison, had ended up being in prison a couple different times for just different things.

[Andrea Gunning]

He told Brandi that he had spent spent a few months in prison, but it was on a trumped up theft charge. And in the same breath he explained he had a hard life.

[Brandi Dredge]

His mom had abandoned him as a child and his siblings and their grandmother raised him.

[Andrea Gunning]

She felt for him most of all. She felt like she could fix him.

[Brandi Dredge]

And then four months after meeting him, I got pregnant.

[Andrea Gunning]

She and Gary bought a pregnancy test to confirm it, and it was positive. The whole time he stayed calm and collected.

[Brandi Dredge]

He just so confidently, like he always does, just knew what to do. He just always had a plan.

[Andrea Gunning]

His plan was to start a life together and build a family. That's what Brandy wanted too.

[Brandi Dredge]

I knew as long as I had him, I would be okay like I have you. I love you. This will be our family and we're going to be okay. As long as I have him, my life's going to be good no matter what.

[Andrea Gunning]

Next, Brandy had to tell her parents. She wrote them a note and left it on her nightstand.

[Brandi Dredge]

I was scared because I thought they would disown me. You know, my dad was scary. Of course they were upset, but it wasn't the reaction that I had expected.

[Andrea Gunning]

Her dad offered to get her on his insurance plan and help her through the pregnancy in exchange for staying at home. But Brandi wanted to be with Gary Richard.

[Brandi Dredge]

I wanted to move in with Gary Richard. I just wanted this perfect little family. We'll all be together. And that was all I wanted anyways, was just to be with him. So I did. But I still promised my dad I would finish high school and that I would graduate.

[Andrea Gunning]

Brandi started her senior year while she was pregnant with her son.

[Brandi Dredge]

The summer before my senior year, I turned in my cheerleading uniforms, and then I turned 17.

[Andrea Gunning]

After that, she moved in with him at his apartment.

[Brandi Dredge]

And then a few months later, when I was eight months pregnant, I heard a knock at the door. And so I went to the door, and there were two detectives standing there. They asked me if Gary Richard was home.

[Andrea Gunning]

They were investigating Gary Richard for theft. Not knowing what to do, Randy let them in, where they collected evidence and thanked her for her cooperation.

[Brandi Dredge]

You see that stuff on the movies, but to have that happening right before your eyes, it's just shocking. And then Gary Richard comes home, and he's not scared like I am. He's just calm and confident.

[Andrea Gunning]

He denied he'd stolen anything. And Brandi didn't hear from the police again about the theft, so she assumed they closed the case, and life moved on in a big way. A few weeks later, their son was born.

[Brandi Dredge]

Holding him. It just incredible. It's that kind of love that you can't. I can't. It's hard to describe. It's like my heart setting on outside of my body, and I'm holding.

[Andrea Gunning]

She made her son a promise.

[Brandi Dredge]

What I did know then, you know, even at that young age, was that I was going to be the best mom I could be for him, that I was always going to be there for him, and that I just wanted him to be safe.

[Andrea Gunning]

Sitting in that hospital room holding her new baby, Brandy was blissfully unaware of the chaos that would follow them. A few days after they got home from the hospital, Gary Richard was charged with theft. He told Brandi he was innocent, but he was already on probation. So his lawyer wanted to show the judge that Gary Richard was now a family man. They all went to the courthouse together, where he entered a not guilty plea.

[Brandi Dredge]

The attorney then proceeds to say, if we had got married before the court date. It would really help kind of show the judge, you know, that he's this change man. New baby, new wife, can hopefully help lessen any sentence or anything. That was the plan. The plan was we were going to get married before he would go in front of the judge. So the wedding planning began.

[Andrea Gunning]

She started calling around to churches in their area.

[Brandi Dredge]

And when I had called one of the churches, the preacher wouldn't marry anybody that's under the age of 18.

[Andrea Gunning]

Brandi was baffled. Before this moment, she hadn't given any thought to their age difference.

[Brandi Dredge]

That didn't make any sense to me because I'm thinking, okay, you know, you're just being kind of closed minded and didn't want to get married at your church anyways. I didn't realize in our state to get married under the age of 18, you had to have parental consent.

[Andrea Gunning]

So she went to her parents.

[Brandi Dredge]

I begged my parents to sign. I used all stops when I'm begging and pleading, you know, that this is the right thing to do for my family. So then finally my mom gave in. She went up there and signed the marriage license and we got married.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Andrea Gunning]

After Brandy had her son, she and Gary Richard got married. They hadn't planned on it, but on his attorney's advice, they decided it would be the best thing for the family. Brandi also worked hard to graduate high school. She wanted to make sure she had a degree and could make money to provide for her family. She didn't want to become another statistic about teenage pregnancy. She wanted to defy the odds.

[Brandi Dredge]

It just kind of felt like this challenge of, yeah, I'm going to show you that that's not going to be me.

[Andrea Gunning]

But despite her efforts to start a new life together, Gary Richard's old habits followed them. He ended up taking a plea deal on the theft charge. When it came to sentencing, their plan to get married and show that Gary Richard was a family man won favor with the judge.

[Brandi Dredge]

The ploy worked and it did give him supervised probation, which is what we had wanted. We didn't want him to go to prison. So that was a win. And the attorney did his job. You know, he kept him from going back to prison. It's like, okay, this time we're done. Now my family's done with all this and we can move forward.

[Andrea Gunning]

But as time went on, Brandi noticed that Gary Richard was still hanging out with teenagers.

[Brandi Dredge]

And it's like, I'm at home and what are you doing, you know, hanging out with them? Oh, well, you know, so and so. And they wanted to hang out after work. And some of those kids were younger than myself at the time. That was never people his own age. I guess I'll say it like that. Very few people were his own age. I think you kind of believe what you, you want to believe. You know, when you're looking at somebody through the rose colored glasses, red flags are invisible.

[Andrea Gunning]

For Brandi, their relationship had become bigger than the two of them. Now it was about their son and what was best for him. Four years into their marriage, they had saved enough money to Move out of the apartment where they met and buy a house together.

[Brandi Dredge]

I was just shy of 22 and started working at the local hospital that I was excited about because that kind of felt like a big girl job.

[Andrea Gunning]

Gary Richard seemed to be growing up, too. Their new home became a place for them to host family celebrations and start traditions of their own.

[Brandi Dredge]

We used to host Halloween parties. We hosted New year's parties. He DJed our parties. You know, they made the best, funnest garage house parties. Everybody loved our parties and loved decorating. You know, my mom and sister would come over and help decorate. I mean, it was just the whole production.

[Andrea Gunning]

Gary Richard even organized Halloween hayrides for all the kids in the neighborhood.

[Brandi Dredge]

He would hook up the little trailer thing and we would do the Bells of hay and have the hot chocolate and drive the kids around the neighborhood. That was cool. And everybody loved it.

[Andrea Gunning]

And he really showed up as a father to their son, like volunteering as a little league coach and teaching him how to ride a bike.

[Brandi Dredge]

I remember watching him run up the road, you know, like when they do that, where they hold the back of the seat. Or one time he built him a bunk bed. My son had always wanted that. And so that was. Yeah, when I saw that, like him being this dad that almost seemed picturesque. The dad liked that would be on the tv. All I ever wanted was my family to look like that.

[Andrea Gunning]

In those first few years, their marriage felt strong.

[Brandi Dredge]

He would say, like, you're the only one for me. And he would tell me how much he loved my family, you know, that it felt like the family he never had. You know, that's why I stayed. That's why I loved him, that's why. Because it was my family. No matter how it looked or what else happened, you stay because that's your person and you just do life with them.

[Andrea Gunning]

The main struggle in their marriage was around money. The couple was constantly under financial stress. When they had first started dating, he'd made it seem like he had money. But she quickly discovered that wasn't really the case.

[Brandi Dredge]

Okay, he doesn't have the kind of money he's making it out to seem.

[Andrea Gunning]

Their bills and loans were piling up.

[Brandi Dredge]

Everything's rob Peter to pay Paul, and then he would jump jobs. And there wasn't that consistent income always. So then it was like me trying to kind of figure out, okay, how are we going to pay this one? This disconnect notice. And so then I'm trying to research and find the ways, you know, always kind of fighting to survive as Their marriage progressed.

[Andrea Gunning]

Gary Richards started putting Brandi down, insulting her.

[Brandi Dredge]

The snide little comments, you know, you make fun of my voice, you make fun of my stretch marks, you know, the different little jabs here and there that I accepted it as, that's just who he is. You either love him or you hate him. That's just who he is. You know, like he's. He's gonna make jokes about me. This is the sacrifice that we make for the family. This is the sacrifice that you make as his person.

[Andrea Gunning]

This wasn't the same guy she met when she was 16 who made her feel like the center of his world. Brandy was always trying to get that version of him back. One day, nine years into their marriage, they were taking their son and his friend out to celebrate. The kids had gotten straight A's in the fourth grade. As the family van was backing out of the driveway, they were interrupted.

[Brandi Dredge]

There was two sheriff cars blocking our drive. And, you know, so I look at him, obviously, you know, like, what are they? You know, but you got kids in the car looking at you. So, you know, it's like some of our communication was more like just looking at each other, you know, saying stuff without saying stuff, because you're trying to now not want to scare these kids.

[Andrea Gunning]

Gary Richard got out of the car to speak with the police while Brandi stayed with the kids.

[Brandi Dredge]

And then he walked back towards the car. And then I got out and he told me that they were serving him a restraining order and that there was some allegations made against him and they wanted him to go to the station because they needed to ask him some questions.

[Andrea Gunning]

Gary Richard told Brandi he had no idea what this was about, but he was willing to cooperate. He left Brandi and the kids and headed to the police station.

[Brandi Dredge]

He called from the jail later and told me the teenager had accused him of touching her inappropriately and had told her mom. Her mom went to file the restraining order against him and then that's what started this investigation.

[Andrea Gunning]

The allegations came from a 15 year old girl. Gary Richard denied it. He told Brandi it was a misunderstanding.

[Brandi Dredge]

He told me that he didn't know why she said it. He said that maybe she thinks I'm cute. Maybe she made up a story about me to look cool in front of her friends.

[Andrea Gunning]

She believed him even though she had a gut feeling that something was wrong.

[Brandi Dredge]

It's not normal. None of this is normal.

[Andrea Gunning]

Then Thanksgiving rolled around. They had planned to spend the holiday.

[Brandi Dredge]

With Brandy's aunt and he acted very different. He didn't want to come. He didn't want to go.

[Andrea Gunning]

That night, Gary Richard called Brandi and told her he was camping out for Black Friday deals. So Brandi was home alone with the house to herself.

[Brandi Dredge]

And something that I can only describe as just this divine kind of guidance. I started to replay all the ways he didn't seem like himself.

[Andrea Gunning]

Brandy's intuition told her to check his laptop.

[Brandi Dredge]

I was able to get into his computer and when it pops up, there are communications with teenage girls and there's photos of people.

[Andrea Gunning]

She was seeing evidence with her own eyes. Suddenly, the allegation from the 15 year old girl no longer seemed like a misunderstanding.

[Brandi Dredge]

I can no longer believe him. So at the time, I thought, okay, I'm going to print out these papers because if I have this, he can't deny it. So I printed all those things out and knew that at that point, okay, now my exit plan is going to begin of how to get him out of our lives.

[Andrea Gunning]

She hid the printed pages in a cabinet. Then she gathered up all his belongings, packed them into her car and drove.

[Brandi Dredge]

To his workplace and pulled up outside the dorm. And then I unloaded his stuff. And then I called him and told him it was starting to rain and he might want to get his stuff. And so for me, powerful moment, because usually he would have been able to talk me out of that. And he didn't. He didn't at all. And I told him he wasn't coming back to our house. You know, I was firm in it, I was powerful. And, you know, it felt like for one of the first times, you know, like I'm actually in control.

[Andrea Gunning]

And she finally had the proof. She had the pictures of what he was doing online. But when it came time for her to bring that evidence to the police, she went to grab the pages and found that they were missing.

[Brandi Dredge]

I don't know where the papers went. He had came back into the house and slipped the waterbed and those papers were gone.

[Andrea Gunning]

While she was out, Gary Richard went to the house, found the photos she'd hidden and destroyed her bed. She needed to figure out her next move. Even with him out of the house, she no longer felt safe.

[Brandi Dredge]

I come out of work one day, my tire's flat. Later I would find out he flattened the tire.

[Andrea Gunning]

Another time, she was driving through a busy intersection when her car seized up and died in the middle of the.

[Brandi Dredge]

Road, only to find out that he had put metal shavings into the oil, which then caused the engine to seize up. Yeah, caused our car to break down. We could have been Severely injured.

[Andrea Gunning]

Her son was in the car with her that day. They could have been killed. It proved that Gary Richard would do anything to hurt Brandi. The final straw was a night when Gary Richard came over and threw threatened to hurt himself in front of Brandy.

[Brandi Dredge]

That night escalated so quickly. Thank God my son was asleep and he slept with fans. And I'm very thankful because he never ever heard that night he had a.

[Andrea Gunning]

Box cutter in his hand.

[Brandi Dredge]

Then he would slice his wrist and, you know, now he's going to be back in control and I'm going to watch him do this because I'm the reason he's doing it.

[Andrea Gunning]

She was afraid for her life. He took her phone and he wouldn't let her leave the house.

[Brandi Dredge]

At one point, you know, I tried to get away. I don't know where I was trying to run to, but I crouched down, like in the corner of the couch and like, he just coming into me when I could feel his breath nuzzling my face, like with his scratchy hairs. He was mad.

[Andrea Gunning]

And she told herself that if she made it through the night, she'd go to the police station in the morning.

[Brandi Dredge]

And so the next day, I did exactly what I said. I went to the police station. They asked me if I wanted to press charges against him for domestic assault and I said yes. So I gave him a statement and then they had me get a restraining order.

[Andrea Gunning]

Because of the domestic violence charges, they were able to arrest Gary Richard again. And this time his bail was much higher. After his arrest, the police reached back out to Brandi. The investigation into the 15 year old girl's allegation was still ongoing. The police wanted to talk to Brandi about it.

[Brandi Dredge]

So he asked if I would come give a statement to help. And so I said absolutely, so if I could help them. But again, never thinking anything else other than I'm just going in there to help. At this point, I believe her and I'm going to go in and I'm going to do all I can to help. So I go in there. He tells me to start from the beginning, ask me when I met him. And we go through all of that. And then he tells me that including the teen who initially had came forward, there were five girls who were willing to testify that he had victimized them in some way.

[Andrea Gunning]

Four more girls were willing to testify that Gary Richard had sexually assaulted them while they were underage. But the police were struggling with the case because they didn't have any physical evidence to support their allegations. Without those photos and online chats that had gone missing. Randy couldn't offer them much.

[Brandi Dredge]

I leave and I didn't get very far from the station and my phone rings and he said, you know, can you come back? You forgot to sign your statement. Okay. Yep. And so I went back. When I go back in there, he tells me that they spoke to the prosecutor and that they're going to charge him, but not for what I thought.

[Andrea Gunning]

She thought the police would be charging him for assaulting the five underage girls, but she was wrong.

[Brandi Dredge]

Then he said, they're gonna charge him for you. I went white. And then he said something that still to this day will forever stick with me. He said, I have something that they don't. I have evidence of the crime. I have a son.

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[Andrea Gunning]

After nine years of marriage, Brandi went to the police to file domestic violence charges against her husband. At the time, he was already the suspect of another investigation. Five girls accused him of sexually assaulting them. Gary Richard was 35. There was no physical evidence and the cops hoped Brandi could help their case by providing a statement. She agreed. Shortly after, the cops called Brandi back in. They would be charging Gary Richard with two counts of statutory rape. One count for one of the five girls and another for the statutory rape of Brandy. When she heard this, she was in shock. The officer's words didn't make sense to her.

[Brandi Dredge]

Clearly what he did to other people was wrong. I just couldn't see it. For me, I thought, I'm not them, you know, like, he's my son's father.

[Andrea Gunning]

But the police were very direct with Brandi.

[Brandi Dredge]

Then he told me that they were charging him for me because I had evidence of the crime. I have a son, it's DNA. And that with the other girls, it was their word against his.

[Andrea Gunning]

She wanted Gary Richard to go to prison for what he'd done to the other girls and for the domestic violence against her. But a statutory rape charge in her case didn't make sense to her. She tried to reason with the detectives, and they said that I could take.

[Brandi Dredge]

It up with the prosecutor, but with child sex crimes like statutory rape, the state can choose to prosecute without me because they don't need the victim's consent. They have up to 20 years from your 18th birthday to do so.

[Andrea Gunning]

Brandi left the station with her heart pounding in her ears. All she could think about was her son.

[Brandi Dredge]

And those words. Just crime, victim, evidence, son, crime, victim, evidence, son. And then it felt like, as a mom, you're saying my son shouldn't be here, like you're saying my son's a crime and you know he's not evidence, he's my son.

[Andrea Gunning]

She said it was the most destabilizing moment she's ever experienced.

[Brandi Dredge]

This is my life that they're playing with, you know, this is my life. It's not a game.

[Andrea Gunning]

Brandi's whole world was built around her role as a mother, a wife. So for the origin of those roles to be deemed a crime completely shattered her sense of reality.

[Brandi Dredge]

It just felt like, man, you just erased, like, my whole life. And that it was all wrong.

[Andrea Gunning]

It reduced her identity to a simple story, a crime, something that was done to her by him. She'd lost control of the narrative of her life. Brandi called the prosecutor to ask why she and her son had to be at the center of Gary Richards case. The prosecutor explained that her son's DNA evidence was the only way to guarantee a conviction against Gary Richard. Richard. If Brandi wasn't willing to give her son's DNA voluntarily, they could get a warrant for it. By the end of the call, Brandi had agreed to work with the police.

[Brandi Dredge]

They were going to send a sheriff out to do the swab. And I said I didn't want to do it at my house, so I had arranged to meet them at my brother and sister in law's, and so we did.

[Andrea Gunning]

Her son was 9 at the time. Randy felt like he was too young to hear the facts of the case.

[Brandi Dredge]

I told my son that his dad was sick at the jail and that they just needed to swab him to make sure that he wasn't sick too.

[Andrea Gunning]

After they processed the evidence, they were.

[Brandi Dredge]

Able to get two counts of statutory rape, one with me 16 when he was 24.

[Andrea Gunning]

In the end that second charge wasn't for the 15 year old's case, the one that started the investigation into Gary Richard. It was for one of the other girls, a 14 year old who said Gary Richard groomed and sexually assaulted her when he was 26. That meant it had been two years into Brandi's marriage. The case brought shock after shock. The local news got a hold of the story, making it even worse for Brandi.

[Brandi Dredge]

Our local news did a broadcast when he was going to court and they even said he would be going to court today for charges on statutory rape with a 16 year old whom he later married.

[Andrea Gunning]

Facing the two counts and the DNA evidence, Gary Richard took a plea deal.

[Brandi Dredge]

With the DNA evidence. That was kind of the plea. If you do that, we'll roll, roll the two up into one and then give you the seven year. For the two, two counts.

[Andrea Gunning]

He was sentenced to seven years and had to register as a sex offender. As for the domestic violence charge, he got 15 days. Randy's divorce was expedited. It happened at the same time as his criminal proceedings.

[Brandi Dredge]

Our divorce hearing was right the day before he was scheduled to be sentenced.

[Andrea Gunning]

That was the first time Brandi had seen him since the charges. And when he walked into the courtroom, she felt a pang of guilt. She understood that he was her abusive ex husband and that he was a predator who had sexually assaulted teenage girls. But when it came to her own experience of statutory rapid rape, my mind.

[Brandi Dredge]

Just could not go there. And I think in some ways, yeah, it's probably your, you know, trauma and your body trying to just protect, you know, you're trying to rationalize a lot of bad things. And I think part of that is a survival mechanism. You know, it is survival.

[Andrea Gunning]

The tipping point for Brandi came later when she received a letter Gary Richard sent her from prison.

[Brandi Dredge]

So then I got this letter from him and in it, it was a five page letter, but the first page he said that there isn't a man that doesn't look at a teenage girl and want to have sex with her. And then it starts clicking that like if you think all people think this, this is not right. And it's like, no, no, no letters. And I'm not accepting the calls from, you know, the prison and just, I'm done, I'm done. There's no contact and there's, you know, never been. Since then.

[Andrea Gunning]

With Gary Richard in prison, she became the sole provider for her household.

[Brandi Dredge]

At this point, you gotta really buckle up your bootstraps.

[Andrea Gunning]

She trained to get a better job at the hospital where she worked and relied on her community for support.

[Brandi Dredge]

But once he went away, just amazing things unfolded as far as like the kindness of people. My sister and brother in law found a place that we could fix up. It was a little tiny half bedroom house and we turned it into three and we, we all worked on that. It was a labor of love.

[Andrea Gunning]

Even though he was in prison, she struggled to escape Gary Richard. His voice was still in her head telling her that this was all her fault.

[Brandi Dredge]

I was listening to Brene Brown, she was saying, guilt is I did something bad and shame is I am bad. And man, when I heard that, I was like, ah, yeah, it is shame. Psychological abuse particularly is so hard to overcome. You don't realize it's happening. You don't realize how slowly pieces of yourself are fading out and you're losing pieces little by little until there's not really a you left.

[Andrea Gunning]

She needed more emotional support, so she started going to a women's group at her church.

[Brandi Dredge]

The ladies that I thought had these perfect lives because of what they're wearing or just, you think they have it all together. And when they would open up and share about the common threads that run through us, all the ways they feel insecure, the way they feel like not enough, it just see hearing that come out of their mouths, that was so eye opening and freeing at the same time. Like, wow, we're just human beings trying to figure this out.

[Andrea Gunning]

It took years of meetings and conversations like this for Brandi to fully understand and accept what she had gone through. She had to go back to when she first met Gary Richard.

[Brandi Dredge]

Now looking back, even from the very beginning, the fact that kids from my high school lived with him, that very first thing, you know what I mean? It's not normal.

[Andrea Gunning]

She now sees this from an adult lens as unhealthy and inappropriate. She became grateful for the prosecutor and police officers who decided to include her in the charges.

[Brandi Dredge]

Now I applaud them because I think they 100% did the right thing because that took him off the street, that protected other girls. And I am so thankful that they could see what I couldn't.

[Andrea Gunning]

And she's become an advocate. She works on raising the minimum age required for marriage.

[Brandi Dredge]

I'm part of the national coalition to end child marriage. As a survivor ally, I'm actually getting ready to go speak at Jeff City at our capitol for the ending of child marriage because they're getting ready to put that on the bill. So I'm gonna go next week and give a testimony.

[Andrea Gunning]

Looking back on her decision to get married at 17. She sees how that legitimized their relationship and made her legitimize it too. Gary Richards attorney suggested that if they got married, the judge might go easier on him. To Brandi, that looks different today.

[Brandi Dredge]

I can see the manipulation now. Even when the attorney suggested getting married, I can see grooming that is a form of forced marriage that I would have never seen until literally. Now that I've been doing this work, it's like, ah, kind of light bulb moment of, you know, I can see the manipulation.

[Andrea Gunning]

In 2025, Missouri changed the state laws to require all parties to be over 18 regardless of parental consent.

[Brandi Dredge]

So had that law been on the books at the time, my marriage would have never been able to happen.

[Andrea Gunning]

She started using new words when talking about her experience.

[Brandi Dredge]

It took me a long time, first of all, to say that I'm child marriage, sex crime and domestic violence survivor. Like to even say those words took a long time because I felt like I didn't have the right to call myself that. When I'm going to go speak next week, I'll say that I married my rapist. Hindsight's a powerful thing.

[Andrea Gunning]

Brandi wanted to reclaim her story and tell it publicly. So she started reaching out to publishers to find a way to write a book about her life.

[Brandi Dredge]

And then I just thought, you know what? Life's too short. This is an investment I want to make into myself.

[Andrea Gunning]

She found the perfect copy editor for the job.

[Brandi Dredge]

And then I ended up working with Gender Kolbaba. She agreed to copy edit, and she said, we'll go chapter by chapter because if we don't, you'll cool, you know, just because it's going to get real. And she was right. Best advice ever.

[Andrea Gunning]

She connected with she writes Press, an independent publisher that focuses on women's stories. Her book was published in fall 2024, and it's titled Girl Uncoded. This is the last passage from her book.

[Brandi Dredge]

I was no longer ashamed of my life, my home, or the choices I had made. I saw the happy ending from the beginning. I saw how the DNA of my son was the indisputable evidence to hold Gary Richard accountable for his actions and bring justice to all the survivors of his crimes, including me. I leaned into the pool of sunlight on the windowsill, closed my eyes as a smile splashed across my face and flooded my body with joyful thoughts of being free. I'm proud of it. Proud of me.

[Andrea Gunning]

We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story?

[Brandi Dredge]

It's to help somebody see what I couldn't to help somebody see sooner, to be able to change their circumstances. If this can help one person see abuse in a different way, see manipulation in a different way, grooming in a different way, to help somebody see what I could not see, what has taken me so long to see. That's why.

[Andrea Gunning]

On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly.

[Brandi Dredge]

He would tell some of them that he was their soulmate and that they were twin flames and they had a deeper connection. And then I realized, wow, he is not a mentor. He's pretty much a monster. I probably should shut the studio down immediately.

[Andrea Gunning]

Before we end the episode, I have some exciting news. Betrayal will be doing our first ever live show as part of the Virgin Voyages True Crime Cruise. We'll be answering listener questions and discussing them live on stage with Stacy and Tyler from Betrayal Season three as well as Caroline from Season four. So if you have a question for us, please email [e-mail] with the subject line Listener Question. And if you want to join us on the Caribbean cruise, there are still spots available. Search virginvoyages.com. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team or want to tell us your Betrayal story, email [e-mail] that's betrayalpodmail.com or follow us on Instagram betrayalpod to access our newsletter, view additional content and connect with the Betrayal community, join our substack at Betrayal Substack. If you love the show, one way to support it is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show was executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison, hosted and produced by Me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Monique Laborde. Also produced by Ben Federman. Associate producers are Caitlin Golden, Olivia Hewitt and Kristin Melchiori. Casting support from Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Krynczyk. Audio editing by Matt d' Aldechio, Mixing and mastering on this episode by Dave Seah. Additional audio editing by Tanner Robbins. Betrayals seem composed by Oliver Baines Music library provided by My Music and for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Brandi Dredge]

Perfect. No, no.

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[Andrea Gunning]

We're gonna laugh at the celebrities that can take it and completely ignore the ones who can't. I'm just kidding. They're not safe either.

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[Brandi Dredge]

We're back for season four to talk.

[Andrea Gunning]

To some incredible small business owners.

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[Brandi Dredge]

Everyone's a rookie.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host]

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[Brandi Dredge]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.