Betrayal Weekly: "Crystal"

Featured on ABC's Betrayal: Secrets and Lies
Host: Andrea Gunning
Guest: Crystal Harris
Date: April 6, 2026

Episode Overview

This powerful episode of Betrayal Weekly centers on the harrowing personal journey of Crystal Harris—a survivor of intimate partner violence and one of California’s boldest advocates for change in the law surrounding spousal support and spousal rape. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, the episode traces Crystal's life from her confident, ambitious youth, through years of escalating abuse in her marriage, her fight for her safety and that of her children, and her eventual transformation into a catalyst for legislative reform. Crystal’s story is both a chilling cautionary tale about the dangers of overlooking emotional and physical abuse and an inspiring testament to the power of documentation, resilience, and advocacy.

Content warning: explicit discussion of domestic violence and sexual assault. Please listen mindfully.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

[04:50] Early Life & Aspirations

Crystal’s Independence:
- Raised by hippie parents in Southern California; parents divorced at 8.
- Witnessed her mother's post-divorce struggles, instilling a determination to be self-sufficient.
- “I would never want to be left in that position where I had to rely on someone else for my financial security.” (Crystal, 07:04)
Vision for the Future:
- Saw herself as a businesswoman from a young age.
- Planned her life meticulously: college, career, marriage, and children. (06:09–07:00)
- Chose finance as a major and landed a competitive job after college.

[08:07] Meeting Shawn – The Early Relationship

Initial Attraction:
- Met Shawn working in a restaurant. He was charming, helpful, and a former college athlete who seemed brilliant and supportive.
- Their chemistry was strong; “I thought he was smarter than me.” (Crystal, 10:08)
Building a Life Together:
- Quick engagement after a romantic proposal in NYC.
- Shawn agreed to be a stay-at-home dad so Crystal could pursue her career.

[15:01] Early Signs of Trouble

First Signs of Control:
- Shawn’s pattern: holding onto resentment, refusing to discuss issues directly.
Escalation to Violence:
- A fight over sharing the car turns violent—Shawn punches Crystal. (16:36)
- “He took his left hand, it was in a fist, and just sort of bopped me in my eye, on my cheek.” (Crystal, 16:36)

[17:46] Crystal’s Immediate Response to Violence

Contacted police, her attorney, her mother, and filed for divorce, and received a restraining order. (17:46)
Shawn was prosecuted, pled guilty to assault, and was on probation for 3 years. (20:26; 20:57)
Crystal: “He did it, he hit me. And it was important to me that that stand.” (20:26)

[21:41] Attempt to Rebuild – Hope and Reluctance

Trust tentatively rebuilt after anger management and court supervision.
Crystal becomes pregnant; Shawn becomes a stay-at-home dad as planned.
Period of “sweetness” during pregnancy and after birth of their first son. (22:17–22:25)

[23:01] Renewed and Escalating Abuse

Sean’s loss of employment and the death of his father sends him into depression and increased aggression.
Emotional and verbal abuse intensify; incidents like pouring milk on Crystal in front of neighbors. (23:28)
“I could tolerate a lot to keep my family together for my kids. Like, I could put up with the bullshit.” (24:15)

[26:14] Severe Threats and Fear for Survival

After a fight and a long absence, Shawn returns with chilling threats: “If I ever do it again, he’s going to kill me.” (26:14)
Crystal: “I had never felt so helpless in my life…found herself in a box.” (26:54)

[33:16] “Nothing Under Control” & Planning Escape

Violence erupts in front of their children after a church event: physical attack in the car, witnessed by son. (33:49)
“I just realized at that moment how delusional I had been thinking that I could keep any of this under control.” (Crystal, 34:34)
Crystal’s survival plan: “I’m going to buy a gun. That’s my way out.” (35:11)

[36:28] Evidence Gathering

Crystal sets up a tape recorder to capture evidence of Shawn’s threats and violence.
Graphic assault: Rape, choking, and explicit threats are captured on tape. (36:28–40:02)
“Not only did it catch the rape on tape, it caught his death threat. It caught everything.” (40:07)

[41:45] Final Attack and Escape

Shawn violently assaults and strangles Crystal again. Realization: “I’m not gonna die if I leave. I’m gonna die if I stay.” (42:40)
She sneaks out, hides in bushes, and calls 911 while Shawn is absorbed in video games. (44:12)
Memorable quote: “I put pillows in the bed…went out the front door…I called 911.” (44:12)

[48:46] Aftermath: Crisis, Grief, and Legal Battles

Crystal immediately informs and reassures her children.
Experiences profound grief at the loss of her dream for a family.
Takes charge of family finances, cancels Shawn’s access, and prepares for a lengthy legal ordeal. (50:53)

[51:32] Institutional Betrayal: Family Court Fails

Crystal is ordered to pay spousal support and attorney fees to her abuser, even after the court finds evidence of rape and domestic violence.
“Not only did I have to pay him spousal support, I also was ordered to pay half of his attorney’s fees, another $47,000.” (53:02)
A “rape discount” is applied, but payment is still enforced.

[54:27] Advocacy & Law Reform

Crystal is inspired by another survivor’s struggle and pursues legislative change.
She becomes the face and driving force for a California bill to prevent victims of spousal rape from being forced to financially support their abusers.
Quote: “If you order me to pay this, I am going to get the law changed.” (54:11)
The law passes in 2012 with strong legislative and prosecutorial support. (55:09–58:48)

[56:03] Criminal Trial: Systemic Challenges

Crystal’s recorded evidence becomes key to securing a conviction.
Despite the tape, the jury convicts Shawn on only one of three charges.
“When you are a rape victim, you are on trial, too…Every move you made, every decision you made is scrutinized…” (56:08)

[58:09] Aftermath, Protection, & Moving Forward

Shawn is sentenced to six years, later re-arrested for further sexual violence and sentenced to 100 years to life. (60:03)
Crystal finds peace only when she knows he's securely behind bars.
“Abusers, they don’t stop…You need to have it on the record all along the way so that they can finally get what they deserve.” (60:57)

[62:12] Life After Betrayal & Message to Survivors

Focused on raising her children, Crystal does not date for 12 years before remarrying a supportive partner.
Finds joy and healing in her new life, living in a custom home overlooking the Pacific.
“I feel like the life I have today is everything I sacrificed and planned for years ago.” (Crystal, 62:54)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On marital betrayal:
“The fact that that same man is the one who made me so afraid for my life, that’s the Betrayal.” (63:20)
On the realities of 'just getting out':
“I feel like women are not that well served by the common advice…of just, just get out. I feel like that’s too simplistic…you have to have a shield…and that shield is documentation.” (63:34)
On changing the law:
“If you order me to pay this, I am going to get the law changed.” (54:11)
On her motivation:
“If you are victimized the way that I was and the way that so many people are, you should not be the one who is living in fear.” (64:24)

Important Timestamps

[04:50] Crystal’s first plan to escape: buying a gun
[08:07] Meeting and falling for Shawn
[16:36] First instance of physical abuse
[17:46] Calls police, files for divorce; gets restraining order
[21:41] Early attempt to move on—pregnancy and rebuilding trust
[23:28] Public humiliation by Shawn (milk incident)
[26:14] Shawn makes explicit death threat after returning home
[33:49] Easter church parking lot assault, witnessed by children
[35:11] Crystal resolves to buy a gun to escape
[36:28–40:02] Secret recording of rape and violence
[44:12] Crystal escapes and calls 911
[51:54] Family court mandates Crystal pay spousal support/fees to abuser
[54:27] Crystal becomes a legislative advocate
[56:03] Description of court process as a rape survivor
[58:09] Shawn’s criminal sentence & Crystal’s continued vigilance
[60:03] Shawn re-offends after release, sentenced to 100 years
[62:12] New beginning: remarriage, healing, reflection
[63:20] Why she tells her story, advice for survivors

Final Reflections

Crystal Harris’s story exposes not just the trauma and complexity of surviving intimate partner violence, but the institutional roadblocks and secondary betrayals survivors often face in seeking justice and protection. Her courage in meticulously documenting her experiences, fighting for legal change, and ultimately living beyond the reach of her abuser provides a roadmap for resilience and advocacy. The episode closes with Crystal’s powerful words for those living in fear: documentation and forethought can be vital shields—and that, above all, the person who has been victimized should not bear the burden of lifelong fear.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there are resources and support available. Your story deserves to be heard, and help is out there.

Betrayal Weekly: "Crystal"

Featured on ABC's Betrayal: Secrets and Lies
Host: Andrea Gunning
Guest: Crystal Harris
Date: April 6, 2026

Episode Overview

Content warning: explicit discussion of domestic violence and sexual assault. Please listen mindfully.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

[04:50] Early Life & Aspirations

Crystal’s Independence:
- Raised by hippie parents in Southern California; parents divorced at 8.
- Witnessed her mother's post-divorce struggles, instilling a determination to be self-sufficient.
- “I would never want to be left in that position where I had to rely on someone else for my financial security.” (Crystal, 07:04)
Vision for the Future:
- Saw herself as a businesswoman from a young age.
- Planned her life meticulously: college, career, marriage, and children. (06:09–07:00)
- Chose finance as a major and landed a competitive job after college.

[08:07] Meeting Shawn – The Early Relationship

Initial Attraction:
- Met Shawn working in a restaurant. He was charming, helpful, and a former college athlete who seemed brilliant and supportive.
- Their chemistry was strong; “I thought he was smarter than me.” (Crystal, 10:08)
Building a Life Together:
- Quick engagement after a romantic proposal in NYC.
- Shawn agreed to be a stay-at-home dad so Crystal could pursue her career.

[15:01] Early Signs of Trouble

First Signs of Control:
- Shawn’s pattern: holding onto resentment, refusing to discuss issues directly.
Escalation to Violence:
- A fight over sharing the car turns violent—Shawn punches Crystal. (16:36)
- “He took his left hand, it was in a fist, and just sort of bopped me in my eye, on my cheek.” (Crystal, 16:36)

[17:46] Crystal’s Immediate Response to Violence

Contacted police, her attorney, her mother, and filed for divorce, and received a restraining order. (17:46)
Shawn was prosecuted, pled guilty to assault, and was on probation for 3 years. (20:26; 20:57)
Crystal: “He did it, he hit me. And it was important to me that that stand.” (20:26)

[21:41] Attempt to Rebuild – Hope and Reluctance

Trust tentatively rebuilt after anger management and court supervision.
Crystal becomes pregnant; Shawn becomes a stay-at-home dad as planned.
Period of “sweetness” during pregnancy and after birth of their first son. (22:17–22:25)

[23:01] Renewed and Escalating Abuse

Sean’s loss of employment and the death of his father sends him into depression and increased aggression.
Emotional and verbal abuse intensify; incidents like pouring milk on Crystal in front of neighbors. (23:28)
“I could tolerate a lot to keep my family together for my kids. Like, I could put up with the bullshit.” (24:15)

[26:14] Severe Threats and Fear for Survival

After a fight and a long absence, Shawn returns with chilling threats: “If I ever do it again, he’s going to kill me.” (26:14)
Crystal: “I had never felt so helpless in my life…found herself in a box.” (26:54)

[33:16] “Nothing Under Control” & Planning Escape

Violence erupts in front of their children after a church event: physical attack in the car, witnessed by son. (33:49)
“I just realized at that moment how delusional I had been thinking that I could keep any of this under control.” (Crystal, 34:34)
Crystal’s survival plan: “I’m going to buy a gun. That’s my way out.” (35:11)

[36:28] Evidence Gathering

Crystal sets up a tape recorder to capture evidence of Shawn’s threats and violence.
Graphic assault: Rape, choking, and explicit threats are captured on tape. (36:28–40:02)
“Not only did it catch the rape on tape, it caught his death threat. It caught everything.” (40:07)

[41:45] Final Attack and Escape

Shawn violently assaults and strangles Crystal again. Realization: “I’m not gonna die if I leave. I’m gonna die if I stay.” (42:40)
She sneaks out, hides in bushes, and calls 911 while Shawn is absorbed in video games. (44:12)
Memorable quote: “I put pillows in the bed…went out the front door…I called 911.” (44:12)

[48:46] Aftermath: Crisis, Grief, and Legal Battles

Crystal immediately informs and reassures her children.
Experiences profound grief at the loss of her dream for a family.
Takes charge of family finances, cancels Shawn’s access, and prepares for a lengthy legal ordeal. (50:53)

[51:32] Institutional Betrayal: Family Court Fails

Crystal is ordered to pay spousal support and attorney fees to her abuser, even after the court finds evidence of rape and domestic violence.
“Not only did I have to pay him spousal support, I also was ordered to pay half of his attorney’s fees, another $47,000.” (53:02)
A “rape discount” is applied, but payment is still enforced.

[54:27] Advocacy & Law Reform

Crystal is inspired by another survivor’s struggle and pursues legislative change.
She becomes the face and driving force for a California bill to prevent victims of spousal rape from being forced to financially support their abusers.
Quote: “If you order me to pay this, I am going to get the law changed.” (54:11)
The law passes in 2012 with strong legislative and prosecutorial support. (55:09–58:48)

[56:03] Criminal Trial: Systemic Challenges

Crystal’s recorded evidence becomes key to securing a conviction.
Despite the tape, the jury convicts Shawn on only one of three charges.
“When you are a rape victim, you are on trial, too…Every move you made, every decision you made is scrutinized…” (56:08)

[58:09] Aftermath, Protection, & Moving Forward

Shawn is sentenced to six years, later re-arrested for further sexual violence and sentenced to 100 years to life. (60:03)
Crystal finds peace only when she knows he's securely behind bars.
“Abusers, they don’t stop…You need to have it on the record all along the way so that they can finally get what they deserve.” (60:57)

[62:12] Life After Betrayal & Message to Survivors

Focused on raising her children, Crystal does not date for 12 years before remarrying a supportive partner.
Finds joy and healing in her new life, living in a custom home overlooking the Pacific.
“I feel like the life I have today is everything I sacrificed and planned for years ago.” (Crystal, 62:54)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On marital betrayal:
“The fact that that same man is the one who made me so afraid for my life, that’s the Betrayal.” (63:20)
On the realities of 'just getting out':
“I feel like women are not that well served by the common advice…of just, just get out. I feel like that’s too simplistic…you have to have a shield…and that shield is documentation.” (63:34)
On changing the law:
“If you order me to pay this, I am going to get the law changed.” (54:11)
On her motivation:
“If you are victimized the way that I was and the way that so many people are, you should not be the one who is living in fear.” (64:24)

Important Timestamps

[04:50] Crystal’s first plan to escape: buying a gun
[08:07] Meeting and falling for Shawn
[16:36] First instance of physical abuse
[17:46] Calls police, files for divorce; gets restraining order
[21:41] Early attempt to move on—pregnancy and rebuilding trust
[23:28] Public humiliation by Shawn (milk incident)
[26:14] Shawn makes explicit death threat after returning home
[33:49] Easter church parking lot assault, witnessed by children
[35:11] Crystal resolves to buy a gun to escape
[36:28–40:02] Secret recording of rape and violence
[44:12] Crystal escapes and calls 911
[51:54] Family court mandates Crystal pay spousal support/fees to abuser
[54:27] Crystal becomes a legislative advocate
[56:03] Description of court process as a rape survivor
[58:09] Shawn’s criminal sentence & Crystal’s continued vigilance
[60:03] Shawn re-offends after release, sentenced to 100 years
[62:12] New beginning: remarriage, healing, reflection
[63:20] Why she tells her story, advice for survivors

Final Reflections

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there are resources and support available. Your story deserves to be heard, and help is out there.

Crystal | Featured on ABC's Betrayal: Secrets and Lies

Summary

Betrayal Weekly: "Crystal"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

[04:50] Early Life & Aspirations

[08:07] Meeting Shawn – The Early Relationship

[15:01] Early Signs of Trouble

[17:46] Crystal’s Immediate Response to Violence

[21:41] Attempt to Rebuild – Hope and Reluctance

[23:01] Renewed and Escalating Abuse

[26:14] Severe Threats and Fear for Survival

[33:16] “Nothing Under Control” & Planning Escape

[36:28] Evidence Gathering

[41:45] Final Attack and Escape

[48:46] Aftermath: Crisis, Grief, and Legal Battles

[51:32] Institutional Betrayal: Family Court Fails

[54:27] Advocacy & Law Reform

[56:03] Criminal Trial: Systemic Challenges

[58:09] Aftermath, Protection, & Moving Forward

[62:12] Life After Betrayal & Message to Survivors

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Important Timestamps

Final Reflections

Transcript

Summary

Betrayal Weekly: "Crystal"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

[04:50] Early Life & Aspirations

[08:07] Meeting Shawn – The Early Relationship

[15:01] Early Signs of Trouble

[17:46] Crystal’s Immediate Response to Violence

[21:41] Attempt to Rebuild – Hope and Reluctance

[23:01] Renewed and Escalating Abuse

[26:14] Severe Threats and Fear for Survival

[33:16] “Nothing Under Control” & Planning Escape

[36:28] Evidence Gathering

[41:45] Final Attack and Escape

[48:46] Aftermath: Crisis, Grief, and Legal Battles

[51:32] Institutional Betrayal: Family Court Fails

[54:27] Advocacy & Law Reform

[56:03] Criminal Trial: Systemic Challenges

[58:09] Aftermath, Protection, & Moving Forward

[62:12] Life After Betrayal & Message to Survivors

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Important Timestamps

Final Reflections