S4: EP 3 — Revisionist History

Summary

Betrayal Season 4, Episode 3 — "Revisionist History"

Original Release: June 5, 2025
Host: Andrea Gunning
Summary by Podcast Summarizer AI

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Episode Overview

In this emotional third episode of Season 4, "Revisionist History," host Andrea Gunning guides listeners through the unraveling of Caroline Kern’s marriage to Joel Kern, a respected Colorado Springs police officer. The episode details how, following Joel’s admission of infidelity on April 11, 2022—Caroline’s “D Day”—a flood of revelations forced Caroline and her children to re-examine twenty years of family memories, questioning which were real and which hid Joel's double life. The show’s format cleverly uses a “split screen” approach, contrasting what Caroline experienced with what was really happening behind the scenes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Day That Changed Everything — D Day

[03:39]

• On April 11, 2022, Joel confessed to receiving oral sex in his police car while on duty and was placed on leave, directly threatening the family's stability.
• The betrayal isn’t just about marital infidelity; it represents Joel breaking two sworn oaths—one to his badge and one to his bride—and fundamentally shakes Caroline’s perception of her 20-year partnership.

Caroline: “To say I was numb is an understatement. Like, I have been with this person for more than half my life. He is all I have known. It just was this feeling of, what the hell am I going to do?” ([05:35])

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2. Re-examining the Past: Early Red Flags & Rationalizations

[06:38–08:21]

• Soon after their 2001 wedding, Caroline discovers explicit emails between Joel and the friend who read at their wedding.
• Joel assures Caroline it was "just attention seeking," promises counseling and says it won’t happen again.
• Caroline rationalizes the incident as “just emails,” subconsciously choosing to see the best in Joel and hoping adversity would make them stronger.

Caroline: “I convinced myself there was no physical cheating, and so we were able to work through this early on...I thought, naively, that this was going to make us stronger.” ([09:22])

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3. Split Screen Realities: Parenting & Family Milestones

[10:21–12:38]

• Joel’s pattern of prioritizing work over family is revealed to be a cover for his double life.
• Joel misses the birth of their first child, later giving a flimsy excuse about needing rest while leaving Caroline alone at the hospital.
• When their daughter Nicole is hospitalized in 2019, Joel refuses to take off work citing “bad optics,” though later evidence suggests he used the time to arrange to meet someone for sex.

Caroline (on Joel missing her daughter’s illness): “I now know why he really wasn’t there. I found very clear evidence later that he had made arrangements to meet someone for sex.” ([14:19])

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4. The Rental Property Incident: A Masterclass in Manipulation

[19:43–23:16]

• In 2020, the family receives a tip that Joel is sleeping with their rental property tenant.
• Joel orchestrates a staged confrontation with Caroline and the tenant, who denies everything; Joel appears calm and in control.
• Caroline’s son recalls apologizing to Joel after initially believing the accusation; only after Joel’s ultimate confession do they learn the confrontation was pure “theater.”

Joel and Caroline’s son: “He proved his innocence, seemingly, to us...Come to find out, all of it was true.” ([21:52], [22:38])

• Joel later admits to sex with the renter, confirming he’d coached her to “keep her mouth shut.”

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5. Lies at Work: Using His Badge as a Shield

[24:35–28:49]

• Joel uses his police work as cover for affairs—claiming bruises from protest duty were actually from rough sex with a co-worker, lying about responding to emergencies when he was meeting women he met online.
• Caroline uses Life360 to discover Joel's lies about his whereabouts.
• Despite mounting inconsistencies, Joel continually manipulates her into doubting herself or believing faulty technology.

Caroline: “After we learned about his true colors... I asked him about that night. And he said, yeah, I had met someone on the Internet and we arranged to meet at an exit close to the Air Force Academy. And that’s where I was at. And you caught me.” ([28:30])

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6. The Mistress Perspective & Smear Campaign

[33:12–35:19]

• Caroline confronts Joel’s co-worker mistress, who confirms the affair and offers blunt advice regarding Caroline's health and Joel's character.
• The mistress reveals Joel lied about his marriage, painting Caroline as “controlling” and alienating her from the police community—a textbook isolation tactic.
• A former officer confirms the department “knew” Joel’s wife as a problem.

Mistress (paraphrased): “He was lying to everyone about himself...You should look at getting HIV and HPV tested...he is a total lying piece of shit and you deserve better.” ([33:50])

Former Officer: “She kind of wore the pants in the house....That seemed to me to be somewhat common knowledge in the department.” ([36:05])

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7. Performative Contrition: Vow Renewal and False Hopes

[37:37–39:06]

• Joel organizes a vow renewal in the wake of an affair, proposing on one knee and presenting a new ring in a public display of recommitment.
• Just eight days later, Caroline discovers Joel had been sexting with someone he met online.
• Her son, reflecting, calls the gesture “rooted in a lie,” demonstrating the destructive ripple effect on family memories.

Joel and Caroline’s son: “I don’t think you can look at his actions now and say there could be any truth in it... You feel betrayal and just kind of a phoniness to it.” ([38:26])

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8. Haunting Incidents: The Running Truck & Safety Concerns

[40:04–43:02]

• Caroline describes waking to the house filled with exhaust—Joel’s truck left running in the garage with the door slightly open.
• She confronts Joel, who gives multiple implausible explanations, leading Caroline to later question her safety during their marriage.

Caroline: “I was able to open the truck...I turn off the engine, and I’m sitting there for a second, and I’m like, what the heck just happened?” ([42:11])

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9. The Final "Family Day" & Fallout

[43:37–45:39]

• The day before D Day, Joel joins the family at church for the first time, giving hope of reconciliation and change. In hindsight, Caroline and Nicole speculate it was Joel’s “Hail Mary” or “last resort.”
• The family enjoys a final happy day, oblivious that everything will soon fall apart.

Nicole: “Looking back on it, maybe it was his last resort to call upon the big man.” ([44:51])

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10. The Fallout: Tainted Memories and Enduring Betrayal

[46:03]

• Caroline poignantly reflects on the way Joel’s betrayal has poisoned even her happiest memories.

Caroline: “You know, at random we’ll see a picture and it’s like, oh gosh, there we were at Disney World together. And then my brain goes to God, that was such a great trip. But what were you doing when we weren’t looking?” ([46:03])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “There were two realities happening, and we’re going to show you the split screen. On one side, what Caroline experienced in the moment, and on the other, what Joel was really doing behind the scenes.” — Andrea Gunning, [03:39]
• “He’s crying and crying and over and over just assured me that it was just merely for attention and that, you know, look, I’ll do anything. And then he said, you know, I’ll go to counseling to assure you that I’ll never let this happen again.” — Caroline, [08:21]
• “The entire scene at the rental property was pure theater. Joel and the tenant played their parts.” — Andrea Gunning, [23:16]
• “He accepted her sympathy and care, all the while knowing that he actually got the bruises from having rough sex with a co worker.” — Andrea Gunning, [25:14]
• “No memory is sacred.” — Andrea, [45:39]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 03:39 — D Day confessions & family shock
• 06:38–08:21 — Discovering early signs of betrayal (wedding, emails)
• 10:21–12:38 — Missed family milestones, birth of first child, daughter’s illness
• 19:43–23:16 — Rental property confrontation & staged innocence
• 24:35–28:49 — Joel uses badge as cover, work-related deceptions
• 33:12–35:19 — Mistress’s text messages & character assassination of Caroline
• 37:37–39:06 — The vow renewal: performative remorse and duplicity
• 40:04–43:02 — Garage exhaust incident: physical jeopardy and plausible deniability
• 43:37–45:39 — The last “normal” day: family, faith, and oblivion to betrayal
• 46:03 — Final reflections on irreparably tainted family memories

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Conclusion

"Revisionist History" is a raw, unflinching recounting of how betrayal, gaslighting, and manipulation corrode relationships—until reality itself is upended. Through Caroline's and her children’s reflections, listeners witness how one person’s compulsive duplicity rewrites the past and devastates not only the future, but even the happiest recollections. As the episode closes, questions linger: Was Caroline ever truly safe? And how many more hidden realities remain to be uncovered?

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Next Episode Preview:
The story continues with the internal affairs investigation at CSPD, as the department comes to grips with “what they’ve got in Lieutenant Joel Kern” and the challenge of catching a master manipulator in his lies.

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For those experiencing betrayal and seeking community or resources, the podcast encourages you to reach out at betrayalpodmail.com and join their Substack for further engagement.

Transcript

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Andrea Gunning]

Restrictions may apply Are there two sides to every story? Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in the girlfriend on Prime September 10, a psychological thriller that will make you question everything. Laura has the perfect life and a son she'd die for, but when he brings home his new girlfriend Cherry, played by Olivia Cook, something feels off. Also starring Lori Davidson, the Girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems. Don't miss the Girlfriend. Streaming exclusively on Prime September 10th. Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

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[Caroline Kern]

Why you should 1. It's $15 a month. 2.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

Seriously, it's $15 a month.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Joel and Caroline's Son]

No big contracts.

[Caroline Kern]

4.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

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[Caroline Kern]

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[Andrea Gunning]

My mom uses it. Are you?

[Caroline Kern]

That's what's happening, right?

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline Kern]

I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest. Like it was difficult to take a deep breath in and my eyes were burning and I can smell the exhaust and I heard this rumbling sound. Where is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is that his truck rumbling?

[Andrea Gunning]

I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is betrayal. Season 4 Episode 3 Revisionist History April 11, 2022, was Caroline's D day, the day that split her life in two. It was the day her husband, Joel Kern, told her that he had received oral sex in his police vehicle while on duty. It was also the day he was placed on leave pending termination, threatening the job their family had sacrificed so much for. For Caroline, this wasn't just about infidelity. It was about 20 years of lies. A picture perfect family that never truly was. To fully understand the impact of Joel's betrayal, we need to go back in time to a few key moments in Caroline and Joel's marriage. There were two realities happening, and we're going to show you the split screen. On one side, what Caroline experienced in the moment, and on the other, what Joel was really doing behind the scenes. Let's start with the life Caroline thought she had with Joel before April 11, 2022.

[Caroline Kern]

We had, in my opinion, what would be a fairy tale family for a law enforcement family. We made the best of everything. We were traveling together and we had these kids who were just rock stars. We were talking about what it was going to look like to retire and not have a care in the world for day to day life. We had this dream together. We were not perfect, but we damn sure lived a beautiful and blessed life before that day.

[Andrea Gunning]

But after April 11th, I was lost.

[Caroline Kern]

To say I was numb is an understatement. Like, I have been with this person for more than half my life. He is all I have known. It just was this feeling of, what the hell am I going to do?

[Andrea Gunning]

In the days after D day, Joel made a series of confessions. Every time he spoke with Caroline, he revealed new details about what he had done. And Caroline began to replay the tape of her own life. With Joel, that process brought up old memories. Moments that had been buried deep in her mind now took on new meaning. Let's start back in 2001. Caroline was 25 years old when she and Joel got married. And in episode one, we shared that Joel's childhood friend read this passage at their wedding. Love is patient and kind.

[Caroline Kern]

Love does not envy or boast. He invited a childhood friend to do a reading, and she was excited to be part of the ceremony.

[Andrea Gunning]

Only six months after the wedding, something happened. It was 2001, and email communication was still new for some people. Caroline's aunt was using email for the first time, so Caroline decided to send her a message.

[Caroline Kern]

As I logged on, I couldn't get in to my email account. I noticed though, that Joel's was already up. And so I thought, oh, she'll get a kick out of this even more because she'll think it's coming from Joel as well as myself.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline sent the email, but then she saw the preview lines to other emails Joel had recently received.

[Caroline Kern]

And I noticed the friends who did their reading in our wedding. There were several email correspondences with her.

[Andrea Gunning]

And the preview lines made Caroline look twice.

[Caroline Kern]

And so I clicked and started reading through them. And there was email after email exchange between the pair discussing what it would have been like had they married each other or if they ever had a opportunity for a romantic interlude. And they got pretty graphic.

[Andrea Gunning]

Just months after their wedding, Joel was having an online sexual conversation with a woman who was part of their ceremony. A woman who had read the words, love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Caroline was stunned. She left a note next to the computer letting Joel know that she had seen the emails. Then she fled to her parents house. Eventually, she returned home to confront him.

[Caroline Kern]

I pull into the garage, open the door, walk through the house, and he's on his knees waiting for me. And he's crying and crying and over and over just assured me that it was just merely for attention and that, you know, look, I'll do anything. And then he said, you know, I'll go to counseling to assure you that I'll never let this happen again. And so I said, yeah, because at this point, there's no trust.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel said he was committed to showing Caroline that he was serious. And they found a marriage counselor. During counseling, Joel attributed his behavior to job stress and residual grief from his father's death three years prior. Joel said and did all the right things. He apologized with tears streaming down his face. He promised it would Never happen again. And Caroline believed him. After all, it was only a few emails.

[Caroline Kern]

I convinced myself there was no physical cheating, and so we were able to work through this early on. When he did this, I thought, naively, that this was going to make us stronger.

[Andrea Gunning]

After D day, Caroline returned to this memory, and she realized this was the first time she chose to see the best in Joel. Once Caroline forgave Joel, their love appeared to grow stronger, just like she'd hoped. And a couple years later, Caroline became pregnant with their first child. In the final doctor's appointment, before she was due to give birth, Joel didn't show up. He said he had an important work lunch. But at that appointment, Caroline's doctor recommended she be induced right away. So she called Joel, begging him to meet her at the hospital. When he got there, he seemed off.

[Caroline Kern]

Joel had been complaining. He was super tired. And it's hard to, like, confess and admit this now, and very few people know this, but when it came time to push, the doctor came in and sat me up and said, you know, here's what we're gonna do, and started explaining things. And Joel raised his finger and said, can you guys just all hold on for a minute so that I can use the bathroom? And everyone just got real quiet. And the doctor said, why don't you go ahead and take care of yourself, and we'll stay with your wife? And the nurse who was in the room, she asked if I was okay and safe at home. It was humiliating. After our son was born, he said that he was just incredibly tired, that he had gotten no sleep because of work, and said that he was going to go home and get sleep. Meanwhile, I was alone at the hospital with our newborn son.

[Andrea Gunning]

This is one of the most difficult memories for Caroline to revisit on the very first day of her son's life. Joel was MIA Starting bright and early in the morning.

[Caroline Kern]

His colleagues and his co workers were coming in to congratulate us, and Joel wasn't there. And so I called him and said, all of your co workers are coming in, and people are asking where you're at. Are you going to come to the hospital, see the baby? And I. And so he said, I just really needed a night to catch up on sleep.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline assumed Joel really was exhausted. Maybe he was overwhelmed by the reality of becoming a father. But now she is forced to look back and ask herself, did he leave.

[Caroline Kern]

That night after I had our son to go be with someone or do something? I don't know. I would hope not. I hope that he went home just to get some sleep. But it's something now that I've replayed.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline knew what she was getting into when she married a cop. Her eyes were wide open. There would be times when Joel would have to prioritize work and she would be the one to pull the weight. But when it came to big moments like the birth of their child, she thought surely the family would come first. And if anything ever happened to their children, she expected Joel to be by her side. We're going to fast forward to January of 2019 when their daughter Nicole was admitted to the hospital. She was 13.

[Caroline Kern]

She had a very severe bacterial infection that grew concerned for her being septic and so she was admitted to a children's hospital for about a week. That was one of the first times I ever saw my mom cry. I just was not doing well. I was weak and lost £20 in a week.

[Andrea Gunning]

The timing couldn't have been worse for Joel. He'd just been nominated for the permanent Public Information Officer position.

[Caroline Kern]

Joel was insistent that he couldn't take any time off of work to come stay with her because it would be a bad look. I wanted him around, but I just constantly had this notion in my head that my dad couldn't sacrifice work. Like he had to be there. And so I don't think it was even really a choice in my head that he could be there.

[Andrea Gunning]

They were used to Joel putting work first. He couldn't be there to support Caroline or care for his daughter. It was disappointing, but not surprising.

[Caroline Kern]

I now know why he really wasn't there. I found very clear evidence later that he had made arrangements to meet someone for sex.

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[Andrea Gunning]

Are there two sides to every story? Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in the girlfriend on prime September 10, a spine tingling psychological thriller that will make you question everything you think you know. Laura has the dream job, the perfect husband and a son she'd die for. But when her beloved Daniel brings home his new girlfriend, Cherry, played by Olivia Cooke, something feels off. Is Cherry the sweet, innocent girl she appears to be? Or is there something more manipulative beneath the surface? And how far will a mother go to protect her son? Also starring Lori Davidson, the Girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems and everyone has something to hide. Don't miss the Girlfriend. Streaming exclusively on Prime, September 10 Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective I used to think home security was just an alarm that goes off after a break in, scaring the intruder off and maybe getting a neighbor's attention if you're lucky. But that's reactive. By the time someone's inside your home, it's already too late. Your feeling of safety is gone. That's why I use Simplisafe. Real security should stop a crime before it even starts. And Simplisafe does exactly that. I love Simplisafe because their system gives me total peace of mind knowing my home is protected 24 7. Their smart AI powered cameras can spot threats outside your home and alert SimpliSafe's professional monitoring agents instantly. Those agents jump into action and can use two way audio to confront the person, trigger sirens and spotlights to scare them off, and even request police dispatch, all while the intruder is still outside. That's not just an alarm, that's real proactive protection. Join the more than 4 million Americans who trust Simplisafe every day, including me. With a 60 day money back guarantee and no long term contracts, you've got nothing to lose. Visit simplisafe.com betrayal to claim 50% off a new system. That's simplisafe.com betrayal there's no safe like Simplisafe. You know what every betrayal story has in common? There are always signs that something isn't right. Just like when your own body turns against you. Sluggish digestion, constant fatigue, and trouble losing weight. They're all signs of a disrupted gut. Introducing Bioma, a novel supplement that contains everything you need for a healthy gut. Enjoy comfortable digestion, boundless energy, and even smoother weight management when following a healthy lifestyle, just take two Byoma capsules each morning before breakfast and start feeling your best. Visit Byoma Health and Use code betrial to get 15% off your first order. When Caroline first told her mom she met the man she was going to marry, her mom said, jesus Christ, he better not be a cop. But over the course of their marriage, he became incredibly close with Caroline's family. So close that when her mother passed away, he served as the executor of her estate. Among the assets passed down to Caroline was a rental property she didn't want to keep. However, Joel convinced her that it would be wise to hold onto would provide passive income. He promised to manage it for her, and he did. He found the renters and handled all the communication with them. But unbeknownst to Caroline, he was using that property for another reason. We're going to go to April 2020. When Caroline looks back on this day, she sees it as Joel's closest call. A near miss. A day that could have been her D day. But it wasn't. Because on this day, Joel was able to stay in control. Here's their son's memory of what happened.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

I was still in high school. I had to be sophomore. Junior year. I get home from school and usually my mom will greet me or say something when I get home, but I didn't hear anything. And so I go up to the office and I see my mom just in tears, and she's beside herself. And she showed me, she said, look at what this person just messaged me on Facebook.

[Andrea Gunning]

The message claimed that Joel was sleeping with the tenant that was living in their rental property.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

And then my dad gets home and he's confronted with it by my mom, and he denies it. And I remember confronting him. And I told him, I said, if this is true, like, we're done. I'm never fucking talking to you again.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel told Caroline somebody was messing with them. Who and why? He didn't know. But here's the thing about Joel. He didn't get anxious or crazy. He was calm. Caroline insisted on going to the rental property with Joel to get to the bottom of it. Not knowing what to expect, Caroline taped the encounter. Hi.

[Caroline Kern]

Hello. What is going on? Well, you tell me.

[Andrea Gunning]

The tenant blamed her ex boyfriend, saying he was looking for revenge after their breakup. She strongly denied there was any relationship between her and Joel. I don't know if he's just trying to get to me, to hurt me. I have no idea. Because the thing is, I was trying to break up with him.

[Caroline Kern]

We were having our kind of arguments.

[Andrea Gunning]

And then he was trying to be nice and nice. Caroline was furious with the situation. How did her Family get mixed up in the Renner's drama. And how did the Renner's ex boyfriend even know who Joel was?

[Caroline Kern]

So you said something. You said something to make some psychopaths think this about my husband.

[Andrea Gunning]

And here's Joel defending himself in the moment.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

This psychopath has got me on the.

[Andrea Gunning]

Road to a divorce. My kids want me out of the house. Remember, this was the before times. Caroline and the kids believed Joel had nothing to do with the tenant.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

He proved his. His innocence, seemingly, to us.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel was able to keep his family together and put this mix up behind them. That didn't change how their son felt when he first heard about the accusation.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

I mean, I was an asshole to him after this. And I remember we were in the car together, driving, and this was a very memorable moment for me because it kind of takes gall to admit when you're wrong or are seemingly wrong.

[Andrea Gunning]

Initially, their son didn't believe Joel. In fact, he came at Joel pretty hard. But after the renter cleared it up, he felt guilty for attacking his father, and he humbled himself.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

I was in the passenger seat, and it was just us in the car. And I apologized to him for how I treated him. And he accepted my apology and said, thank you for saying that. But, you know, come to find out, all of it was true.

[Andrea Gunning]

On the day Caroline and her kids confronted Joel in the rv, he admitted that he had, in fact, been having sex with the Renner.

[Caroline Kern]

Where were you at when you had sex? At the house. Where in the house?

[Andrea Gunning]

In the basement.

[Caroline Kern]

So you go down to that dirty, filthy basement and then had sex. Unprotected sex.

[Andrea Gunning]

The entire scene at the rental property was pure theater. Joel and the tenant played their parts. Well, we asked you, did you do this?

[Caroline Kern]

Did you do this? You said no.

[Andrea Gunning]

Nicole couldn't believe it.

[Caroline Kern]

Joel admitted that he contacted and told her, she better not say anything to me.

[Andrea Gunning]

So when Caroline went to the rental property to investigate, Joel had already told the tenant to keep her mouth shut. Joel had sex on numerous occasions with the renter, but stood by while she took all the heat and he played the victim. It's a stark example of the split screen reality. The family has Joel on tape, at first playing the victim and then years later, confessing in a cold, flat tone. Caroline has lived through this dichotomy many times. After D day, Joel admitted to lies that were so disturbing, they weren't just a betrayal of his marriage vows. They were a betrayal of his oath as an officer. In episode one, we mentioned the George Floyd protests of 2020 Joel told Caroline he was on the front lines. As tensions escalated, people were throwing frozen.

[Caroline Kern]

Water bottles or rocks, and he would say, oh, look. Look at this bruise that popped up. This was from a frozen water bottle model. Years later, he confessed to me that all of the bruises that I was massaging or rubbing Icy hot on were not a result of the riots at all. He admitted to me that he had been having an affair during those hours with a co worker, and he was having sex with her at their offices at the police department in various areas of town or in his police car, and the marks and bruising were a result of his escapades.

[Andrea Gunning]

He accepted her sympathy and care, all the while knowing that he actually got the bruises from having rough sex with a co worker. We're going to come back to this co worker, but before we do, there's one more example of Joel using work as a cover of how low Joel was willing to go to avoid the truth.

[Caroline Kern]

January of 2022, he had a moment where he was called out to an accident in the middle of the night, and he said it was a fatal accident and that he would be out for a little bit. This wasn't uncommon.

[Andrea Gunning]

Part of Joel's job duties entailed supervising the major accident unit. This required him to go out to the scene of fatal accidents and oversee the investigation. He was called at all hours, day or night.

[Caroline Kern]

I was awake because he needed to get up to get ready to go out. He said goodbye to me, gave me a kiss goodbye, and I said, you know, be safe. I'll see you when you get home.

[Andrea Gunning]

Like many families, they shared an app called Life360, which helped them keep track of each other's locations.

[Caroline Kern]

Well, I couldn't go back to bed. I couldn't fall asleep. And so I'm sitting there kind of scrolling through social media, and then I see from one of the news sites that the accident that he was called out to had actually been cleaned up an hour, hour and a half before that. It was already moved and done. So I looked at our life360, and I saw him in just kind of this random location not too far from our home. I texted him and I said, hey, where are you at? He didn't text back. And so I thought, that's strange because even if he was at some type of accident or call for service, almost always within minutes, he would text back or, you know, do an auto reply from his watch or something and say, can't talk right now. But I didn't get anything. So then I Got a little concerned and I called him. He put me to voicemail immediately. And so I waited for a little bit, and then I texted him again and I said, hey, I'm a little worried about you. And then he texted me back and said, I'm at a second accident scene. I'm headed to the hospital right now to help. I'll be home in a little bit. And so as he's saying this, I'm literally watching the phone where I can see him speeding to our house. He's not at another accident. He's not at the hospital. He's coming from somewhere. And so when he got home, I said, are you lying to me? And he's like, what are you talking about?

[Andrea Gunning]

His location on the app didn't match what he told her. He was saying one thing and she was seeing another. Joel blamed the technology.

[Caroline Kern]

That must be a cell phone tower pinging wrong. I was at the hospital. Oh, my God. Do you think I want to be out in the middle of the night any longer than I have to be? And so he just kept saying this to me to the point where I started feeling terrible. I felt guilty for questioning him.

[Andrea Gunning]

It's hard to look back on those moments, because when you love someone and believe in their love for you, you accept answers. You believe.

[Caroline Kern]

After we learned about his true colors and what he was really doing, I asked him about that night. And he said, yeah, I had met someone on the Internet and we arranged to meet at an exit close to the Air Force Academy. And that's where I was at. And you caught me.

[Andrea Gunning]

The data didn't lie. Joel did. This punctured Caroline's perception of her husband. She used to see him as a hero to their community. Now she sees him as nothing but a liar. As for that co worker, Joel confessed to having sex with, the one he actually got the bruises from. Caroline found her number and texted her. And to her surprise, she responded.

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[Andrea Gunning]

Are there two sides to every story? Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in the girlfriend on prime September 10, a spine tingling psychological thriller that will make you question everything you think you know. Laura has the dream job, the perfect husband and a son she'd die for. But when her beloved Daniel brings home his new girlfriend, Cherry, played by Olivia Cook, something feels off. Is Cherry the sweet, innocent girl she appears to be? Or is there something more manipulative beneath the surface? And how far will a mother go to protect her son? Also starring Lori Davidson, the Girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems and everyone has something to hide. Don't miss the Girlfriend. Streaming exclusively on Prime September 10th. Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective. You know what every betrayal story has in common. There are always signs that something isn't right, just like when your own body turns against you. Sluggish digestion, constant fatigue and trouble losing weight. They're all signs of a disrupted gut. Introducing Bioma, a novel supplement that contains everything you need for a healthy gut. Enjoy comfortable digestion, boundless energy and even smoother weight management when following a healthy lifestyle. Just take two Byoma capsules each morning before breakfast and start feeling your best. Visit Byoma Health and use Code betrial to get 15% off your first order. Looking to simplify your health routine? Discover Groons, the new way to get your daily greens without the hassle. Say goodbye to messy powders and large pills to swallow these awesome all in one eight daily gummies are packed with over 20 vitamins, minerals and 60 whole food ingredients. They're vegan, gluten free and taste just like a fruit snack. And there's great news for parents. Groon's Kids has just launched. These tasty gummies are specially made for your little ones, packed with everything they need for growth, brain development and immunity. Say goodbye to the drama of getting your little ones to take their vitamins. Don't miss out. Right now you can get up to 45% off your first order. Just use Code Betrayal at checkout. Make getting your daily greens the easiest way possible with Groons, where serious nutrition meets serious fun. You're gonna love Caroline was able to make contact with the woman that Joel had an affair with at CSPD via text. And she shared those texts with us.

[Caroline Kern]

And so I wrote, hi, this is Caroline Kern, the wife of whose husband you've been fucking. I look forward to discussing your affair that you started and conducted during work hours with internal affairs investigators.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline wanted the CSPD to know that this affair was going on during work hours on the taxpayer's dime. His former mistress responded, no, sorry, I.

[Caroline Kern]

Ended what he started because he said.

[Andrea Gunning]

He was leaving you and he was lying to everyone about himself. That was almost two years ago now. I don't know what has happened or.

[Caroline Kern]

Why he lost his job, but I'm.

[Andrea Gunning]

Not involved, nor have I Talked to him since 2020ish. You should look at getting HIV and HPV tested after his being involved and all that. I'm really sorry for whatever's happened, but he is a total lying piece of shit and you deserve better.

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Run.

[Andrea Gunning]

The woman may have been really sorry, but when my producer eventually contacted her, she didn't seem to have much sympathy for Caroline. What she did say, though, was illuminating. We recorded our conversation with the woman, and we've distorted her voice to protect her privacy.

[Caroline Kern]

Wow. Yeah. She won't let this go, will she?

[Andrea Gunning]

She told us what she thought she knew about Caroline.

[Caroline Kern]

Everybody seems to know Carolyn and know what she's like. Everybody says that she's kind of a problem, and I'm not sure what that means. I'm wondering how much of a background you've done on her, because from what I understand, it wasn't. And this is not coming from him, from what I understand is that she was very controlling and not nice and something with some other family members. She wouldn't let him talk to his mom or something like that.

[Andrea Gunning]

This description went against everything we've heard about Caroline from her friends and family. And it helped us put together another piece of the puzzle, how Joel kept his double life a secret. You see, Colorado Springs isn't that big. One way to keep anyone from telling Caroline the truth was to paint her as the problem. And it seems like Joel did exactly that. Did you ever meet his wife?

[Caroline Kern]

No.

[Andrea Gunning]

This co worker turned mistress wasn't the only one who heard similar things about Caroline at the department. It seemed that everyone at CSPD knew Joel's wife was kind of a problem. Here's a former CSPD officer recalling Dan.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

Other officers, I think, that were much closer to him socially would always make some comments about, like, maybe he had to get permission to just do anything with anyone else from her before he could do that. And, you know, she Kind of wore the pants in the house. That seemed to me to be somewhat.

[Caroline Kern]

Common knowledge in the department.

[Andrea Gunning]

Joel's co worker was under the impression that he was leaving Caroline because that's what he told her. He lied to Caroline and he lied to his mistress, and eventually she figured it out. Previously, I told you about Joel having a mental health episode. He and Caroline were attending their son's high school sporting event. It should have been a fun timeout, but Joel was distracted.

[Caroline Kern]

He became extremely withdrawn and very agitated. And so this is about 2019. Now, fast forward. After our life blew up, he actually admitted to me why he was despondent and behaving the way he was. It was because had broken up with him. It wasn't anything to do with our son and driving and the concern or anything like that.

[Andrea Gunning]

The woman who texted Caroline, saying, I ended what he started, had ended their relationship. Within a year of the affair, he planned an elaborate vow renewal. He stood before family and friends and professed his love for his wife.

[Caroline Kern]

First time around, we did church vows. This time around, we're going to speak from the heart. And so we're before our friends and family out in this beautiful setting on the beach. And when he gets ready to start his vows, he gets down on one knee and he says, you know, over 20 years ago, I impulsively asked you to marry me, and this time I want to do it right. Would you marry me all over again? And has this new, big, beautiful ring. And it was just such a shock and a surprise. I mean, I felt like life was perfect.

[Andrea Gunning]

On the day of his revelations, what was once a cherished, loving memory was destroyed. Here's their son.

[Joel and Caroline's Son]

I was there firsthand, and I witnessed the whole vow renewal ceremony. But I don't think you can look at his actions now and say there could be any truth in it. Maybe he thought there was truth, but in his actions, absolutely not. It's just you feel betrayal and just kind of a phoniness to it. And so to me, there's no point in even thinking back on it because it was rooted in a lie.

[Andrea Gunning]

After April 11, as Caroline was going through Joel's emails, she found confirmation he had been sexting with someone. Just eight days after the vow renewal. It was with a person he'd met online. The person was asking for nudes. Instead, Joel sent them a selfie. In it, he's staring at the camera, lying back on the family couch. Caroline was so disturbed at the thought of their home being in Joel's pictures that she sold all the Furniture in their living room. In the months before Joel was placed on leave, he could see the writing on the wall. He knew for months that he was being investigated at work, but he kept that to himself. While Caroline was reflecting on her dual realities, she told us about an experience that happened just months before D day. We weren't sure what to make of it, but it affected her so deeply. We wanted you to hear what happened.

[Caroline Kern]

In November of 2021, our daughter had left for school for something very early in the morning. Joel had told me that he, too, was going to go into work early that day and that he'd see me later that night. I'm still in bed. He comes and kisses me goodbye and tells me to have a great day. And I was asleep still. And when I woke up, I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was hard to breathe. She was disoriented. Their daughter was already at school. Caroline was alone in the house.

[Caroline Kern]

Like, it was difficult to take a deep breath in. And my eyes were burning, and I heard this rumbling sound. Where is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is that his truck rumbling?

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline's bedroom is on the first floor, just down the hallway from the garage.

[Caroline Kern]

And so I got up, and the auxiliary door to our garage was just a little open. And when I opened was like a rush of fire almost hit my face. Just kind of this warmth just hit me. The truck had been left running in our garage. I was panicked and didn't know what to do. And so I hit the garage open, and I went out to the driveway. And I'm kind of walking around, trying to get my sense about me, and I'm trying to take a big, deep breath in, and, you know, I'm finally able to gather my bearings. And I go over to open his truck to shut the engine off, and I can't open it. It's locked.

[Andrea Gunning]

So she ran back into the house to get the spare key.

[Caroline Kern]

We have a key ring holder where we put all our keys. His police car was gone. Our daughters were gone, but his truck keys were hanging there. And so I got the truck keys down. I was able to open the truck. I opened the truck, and I turn off the engine, and I'm sitting there for a second, and I'm like, what the heck just happened?

[Andrea Gunning]

She had no idea how long the exhaust from Joel's truck had been seeping into the house. Caroline called Joel flustered and upset.

[Caroline Kern]

I said, you left the truck running with the garage door closed and the door between the Garage and the house just a little open. And he said, I did. And I said, yeah, you did. And he was like, well, there's no way I did that. And I said, how would that happen then? Then he started saying that his truck keys must have been in his pocket, and he must have accidentally hit the auto start when he was pulling away in his cop car in the morning. I said, there's no way you could have done that. Both sets of truck keys are hanging on the key ring. And so we went back and forth, and he had me convinced that it had to be a manufacturer defect or something. Something happened.

[Andrea Gunning]

If it was a defect, it was one that could have lethal consequences. They never figured out how the car started. Caroline now wonders if she had really been safe in her home. That brings us to Sunday, April 10, 2022. It was the day before their lives would change forever. Little did Caroline know, the two worlds she didn't realize she was living were about to converge. During this time, one constant for Caroline and the kids had been their faith. Here's Nicole.

[Caroline Kern]

I have my own little path, I suppose, with my religion. And so I was going to mass pretty frequently before that. This is something that the kids and I did together. He never went. He had always been a proclaimed atheist. And as our daughter and I are getting ready, he emerges and says he's.

[Andrea Gunning]

Going with us again. This was Sunday, April 10th, when Joel suddenly showed interest in going to church that day. Nicole was excited, and our daughter said.

[Caroline Kern]

Daddy, are you serious? You're really going to go to church with this? And he said, yes. I. I want to go with you guys. I want to be with you guys. And I think that maybe it's time I give church a chance. I thought, like, maybe this is the beginning of something new or something. I was really happy that he wanted to have family time.

[Andrea Gunning]

The family thought Joel may have been reconsidering his relationship with religion, but in reality, his secrets were teetering on the edge of exposure. When Nicole reflects on that day now, she sees Joel's desire to go to church in a completely different light.

[Caroline Kern]

Looking back on it, maybe it was his last resort to call upon the big man.

[Andrea Gunning]

I suppose, call it a Hail Mary, or maybe Joel wanted to remind the family about the virtue of forgiveness. But at the time, it felt like a lovely family.

[Caroline Kern]

Sunday we went to breakfast together after church, and I still have silly pictures we took at the coffee shop we were at. We even went to Costco together. We just had this really good day together. And I just remember thinking to myself, how thankful I was that Joel was wanting to be healthy and that maybe some of these changes that felt scary were about ready to be be just really positive things for him.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was the last good day they'd ever have as a family. Joel's deception didn't just destroy his career, his marriage, or his family. They destroyed Caroline's memory of her entire adult life. Even the best memories, like the birth of her first child, are tainted forever. No memory is sacred.

[Caroline Kern]

You know, at random we'll see a picture and it's like, oh gosh, there we were at Disney World together. And then my brain goes to God, that was such a great trip. But what were you doing when we weren't looking?

[Andrea Gunning]

On the next episode of Betrayal.

[Caroline Kern]

We'Ll.

[Andrea Gunning]

Take you inside CSBD Internal affairs on the day Joel's double life finally caught up with him.

[Caroline Kern]

The slip up proves that you're unable to keep track of all your lies, and quite frankly, I question how many other women are out there that may bring forward allegations in the future.

[Andrea Gunning]

The department finally realizes what they've got in Lieutenant Joel Kern, but how do you catch a master manipulator in a lie? Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season four. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email [e-mail] that's betrayalpodmail.com also please be sure to follow us on Instagram, etrayalpod and me, Andreah Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates. One way to support the series is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal 5 star reviews. Help us know you appreciate what we do. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison. Betrayal is hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Carrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producers are Caitlin golden and Kristin Melchiori. Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Krynczyk. Story editing by Monique Laborde Audio editing and mixing by Matt d' Alvecchio editing by Tanner Robbins. Special thanks to voice actors Caitlin golden and Rocky Alt and special thanks to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines Music Library, provided by My Music and for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Caroline Kern]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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