Betrayal: Season 4, Episode 4 — "Shock to the Conscience"

Podcast: Betrayal (iHeartPodcasts, Glass Podcasts)
Host: Andrea Gunning
Date: June 12, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode, “Shock to the Conscience,” peels back the layers of deception within the Colorado Springs Police Department through the fall of Lieutenant Joel Kern. It dives deep into his internal affairs investigation after allegations of sexual misconduct and misuse of authority—and the profound betrayal experienced by his wife, Caroline. Through audio from the official interview, host Andrea Gunning and Caroline reflect on what was happening behind closed doors while, to the outside world, Joel maintained his façade. The story probes the cost of lies, loyalty, and institutional trust, exposing both a personal and systemic reckoning.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Colliding Worlds of Joel Kern (03:35–05:12)

• Background: Joel Kern, a veteran police lieutenant, is exposed after a woman confesses to her husband about having sex with Joel in his police car. The husband confronts Joel and files an official complaint.
• The Colorado Springs Police Department (CSPD) launches an internal investigation, culminating in a high-stakes Internal Affairs interview for Joel (05:41).
• Host framing: “But those two realities were on a collision course, because Joel’s reckoning day at the Colorado Springs Police Department was rapidly approaching.” (03:57)

2. The Internal Affairs Interview: Denial, Deflection, and Collapse (05:12–36:17)

• Initial Approach: Joel signs the Garrity Advisement, an order to tell the truth (05:21–05:39):

  • Lieutenant Chanza: “Will you be answering all of our questions concerning this matter truthfully today?”
  • Joel Kern: “Yes.” (06:14–06:19)

• Deflection Tactics:

  • Joel claims he’s being “catfished” and blames strained friendships and feuds for the allegations (07:01, 10:31).
  • He weaves elaborate stories about social sabotage and online impersonation to cast doubt (10:59).

• Direct Confrontation and Reluctant Admissions:

  • Investigators meticulously confront Joel with evidence, including text messages, photographs, WhatsApp activity, and the complainant’s statements. Joel’s story shifts repeatedly as each new piece of evidence is presented (17:42–25:37).
  • Notable sequence:
    • Lieutenant Sokolik: “Have you been physically intimate with this individual?”
    • Joel Kern: “Yes.” (21:23)
    • Sokolik: “Did that occur inside a department vehicle?”
    • Kern: “No.”
    • Sokolik: “Did it occur on duty?”
    • Kern: “No. I mean, I guess it could have.” (21:33)

• Unraveling of Lies:

  • Joel initially denies having a FetLife account or meeting the woman on FetLife, but eventually admits to both after investigators point out technical impossibilities in his story (22:07–22:45).

• Admitting Sexual Encounters:

  • Confronted with forensic and testimonial evidence, Joel finally admits to sex acts in his police vehicle and in public spaces, gradually ceding ground only when pinned (25:26–25:37, 26:39–26:50).

• Misuse of Authority:

  • Joel sent the woman selfies of himself in police uniform to “make her feel more comfortable” (29:16–30:09).

• Emotional Evasion:

  • When asked why he didn’t tell the truth, Joel claims humiliation, embarrassment, and references to “demons from my past” and being at a “low point” (30:22–31:11).
  • “I acknowledge that I’ve needed help for a long time, and I just throw myself at the mercy of the people reading this and promise that, you know, I want to do better.” (31:11)

3. Caroline’s Perspective: The Impact on Family [Listens to the tape] (32:36–37:00)

• Shock and Realization: Caroline recounts returning from a vacation with her daughter, while Joel played the attentive father—knowing all along he had just been interrogated (33:16).
  • “He has just revealed what is going to be the detriment to our family.” — Caroline (33:42)
• Reflections on Deception:
  • Caroline discusses the emotional violence of Joel’s lies—not just to her, but to longtime friends and colleagues (34:53).
  • “I see the stranger who I lived with. I do not know that man. That man who is on that tape is evil.” (35:43)
• Living with Betrayal:
  • Caroline affirms the effort required to move forward:
    “I do it daily. I still have to do it daily.” (37:00)

4. Commander Strossner’s Reckoning and Departmental Failure (41:19–52:09)

• Judgment Day:
  • Commander Strossner confronts Joel, reading out the sustained allegations: violation of take-home vehicle policy, conduct unbecoming, and “departing from the truth” (41:22–52:09).
  • Strossner: “You knowingly lied, providing false information… You attempted to blame someone… Only after being confronted with specific facts did you begin to admit…” (42:05–43:02)
  • The most damning violation: “constitutes a violation of your oath in office.” (45:43)
• Patterns of Behavior:
  • Reference to Joel’s previous 2019 case of sexual harassment and echoing language of contrition (47:39–48:26).

5. Consequences—Or Lack Thereof (55:46–55:59)

• Surprising Turn: Despite Strossner recommending termination, Joel wasn’t fired—leaving listeners with the question of how he avoided greater consequences.
  • “He wasn’t fired, was he?”
  • “No.” (55:55)
  • The host teases that the next episode will explore this further.

6. Caroline’s Closing Reflections on Support and Truth (53:53–55:46)

• Caroline thanks both the man who confronted Joel and Commander Strossner for not believing the lies and doing the work to hold Joel accountable.
  • “You may have saved mine and my kids lives. Thank you.” (54:24)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• The Threatening Confrontation:

  • “And then she says, ‘I'm gonna ruin your fucking lives.’” — Joel Kern, describing confrontation after the dinner party fallout (10:59)

• On Facing the Truth:

  • “It’s humiliating, it’s embarrassing, it’s traumatic, and, you know, all the demons from my past come to rise, and I was at a low point.” — Joel Kern (30:22)
  • “That man who is on that tape is evil. I don’t know anything about him.” — Caroline Kern (35:43)

• On Oath and Institutional Trust:

  • “Not only did you put yourself in that same position, you made it worse. Someone might make that argument that you were initially evasive… but I do not believe you fully redeemed credibility or you were completely transparent… This whole thing has just been like a shock to my conscience. It really has.” — Commander Strossner (48:41, 52:06)

• On Living the Lie vs. Living the Truth:

  • “The kids and I were living the truth. He was living the lie.” — Caroline Kern (36:38)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Confrontation at the House: 03:06–04:59
• Joel’s Internal Affairs Interview (Denials Begin): 05:12–10:10
• Elaborate Deflections & “Catfish” Story: 10:31–11:57
• Investigators Present Evidence & Joel’s Story Shifts: 17:42–25:37
• Final Admissions of Sex and Policy Violations: 25:26–26:50
• Joel Discusses His Emotional State: 30:22–31:11
• Caroline Reacts to Joel's Interview: 32:36–37:00
• Commander Strossner Confronts Joel & Recounts Violations: 41:22–52:09
• Caroline's Gratitude to Those Who Refused to Believe Joel: 53:53–55:46
• Host Reveals Joel Wasn’t Fired: 55:46–55:59

Thematic Takeaways

• The Ripple Effects of Betrayal: Joel’s double life and sustained lies ripple out to family, friends, colleagues, and the wider community.
• Gaslighting and Institutional Damage: Joel uses emotional manipulation, denial, and misdirection—not just against loved ones, but against trusted colleagues—eroding both personal and organizational trust.
• Systemic Accountability: The episode questions systems of power and highlights the gaps between recommendations and real consequences; listeners are left eager for next week’s follow-up.

To Be Continued…

The episode closes with the question of how Joel managed to avoid termination, setting up the next chapter in this disturbing story of institutional betrayal.

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