Betrayal: Season 4, Episode 5 – "Fantasy Land"

Podcast: Betrayal
Host: Andrea Gunning
Subject: The unraveling of the double life of Lt. Joel Kern, a respected Colorado Springs Police officer, and its devastating impact on his wife Karoline Borega and their family.
Release Date: June 19, 2025

Episode Overview

In "Fantasy Land," Andrea Gunning continues the saga of Karoline Borega and the betrayal perpetrated by her husband, Lt. Joel Kern. After damning evidence of Joel’s misconduct surfaces, he faces the potential end of both his policing career and his marriage. This episode explores Joel’s attempts at damage control (including a stint at a first-responder rehab), the deepening fractures within the family, and a string of shocking revelations unearthed by Karoline through dogged investigation. The consequences for Karoline and their children—especially daughter Nicole—are palpable, culminating in emotional confrontations, the exposure of an affair that feels like “the ultimate betrayal,” and the final severing of family ties.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Career Implosion and Escape to Rehab

• After internal affairs confronts Joel with irrefutable evidence, his commander recommends termination for lying during an investigation ([04:55]).

  • Quote: "Quite frankly, the legislative intent is very clear that we cannot allow peace officers to remain employed when they've lied during an IA investigation. I have no option but to recommend your termination." – Audio of Joel’s commander ([04:55])

• Joel tries to delay termination by seeking a “last shot” of redemption through inpatient treatment for first responders in Laguna Beach, claiming severe stress and PTSD. Karoline and their kids are told it's for “sex addiction” as well as his mental health ([05:48], [07:58]).

2. Family in Turmoil: Hope, Doubt, and Deflection

• Karoline considers forgiving Joel if he demonstrates genuine effort to change, and daughter Nicole vacillates between hope and skepticism ([08:41], [09:00]).

  • Quote: "I want to get better. I need to go do this. I want to get better." – Joel, as recalled by Karoline ([08:41])
  • Quote: "There was this period where my mom was thinking, like, maybe he'll get better... and they could possibly start from scratch and start dating again." – Nicole ([09:00])

• Nicole’s struggle with her father's absence and emotional unavailability resurfaces, fueling her anger ([09:45]).

3. The “Fantasy Land” Confession

• Once at rehab, Joel communicates with Karoline in detail (via text) about how online chats, pornography, and fantasy gradually undermined his self-esteem and led to his destructive behavior.
  • Quote (Joel, read by actor): "I found myself starting to believe in the fantasy world and my self esteem crashed. ...There were no boundaries or limitations in this fantasy world." ([15:12])
  • He repeatedly insists he’s disclosed all secrets, though admits: "Are there things I'm omitting? Absolutely, but not out of intentional deception. I simply can't remember everything." ([16:17])

4. Revelations from Rehab — and Lies Exposed

• Caroline is contacted by Joel’s case manager at the treatment center while on a college visit with Nicole. The case manager bluntly states that Joel is “one of the worst cases of sex addiction she had ever seen” and warns—"if you find out everything, there's no way you guys will be able to stay together." ([17:59], [18:40])

• Joel reacts angrily to Caroline discussing the case manager’s warning, insults the staff, and asks that there be no further contact ([24:08]).

5. The Affair with Nicole’s Bully’s Mother: The Ultimate Betrayal

• Going through phone records, Karoline discovers frequent contact between Joel and the mother of Nicole’s childhood bully ([27:17], [27:38]).
  • Annual family pain is recontextualized: "She saw me at Target and thought I looked really skinny, so she’s just been checking on me." (Joel’s initial cover, [27:51])
  • Truth: Joel admits to an affair with the woman, even having sex while on duty ([28:29]).
• Impactful Exchange:
  • Nicole to Joel: “You knew what that girl did to me... and then you went and had sex with her mom.” ([29:57])
  • Nicole reflects: "It was just kind of a reality check. Like, my dad just did not care. Did not care about his actions and who his actions affected." ([30:18])
  • Joel’s son: “You're Joel to me now. You can go fuck yourself.” ([30:52])

6. Further Affairs and Collapse

• Another affair is uncovered via phone records—this time with a rude coworker Karoline had frequently encountered ([35:13]–[36:05]).
  • Joel initially lies, then acknowledges the affair, revealing it persisted intermittently, and the coworker was set to visit him in rehab.

7. Nicole’s Car Accident and Family Disconnection

• Nicole is involved in a car accident; Joel hears about it via police friends but does not contact Caroline, compounding the sense of abandonment ([37:41]).

8. Joel’s Relapse and Final Break

• Karoline gets called by rehab staff: Joel has gone missing. She discovers, via cell tracking and phone records, that he's resumed meeting women he found online, even during rehab ([38:18]–[39:23]).
• Joel eventually quits rehab, gets a non-policing job, and returns to Colorado, all while still hiding behind lies ([39:52], [40:11]).

9. Divorce, Last Encounters, and Closure

• Karoline and Joel meet to finalize divorce terms; she observes his obsessive phone notifications from dating apps, while he insists: “These are all my friends from rehab and my therapist. They just keep reaching out to me.” ([42:19])
• Final words:
  • Joel: "You always be the love of my life. ...I hope you know I love you more than anything in this world and I always will."
  • Caroline: "Okay."
    ([44:24])

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• "I want to get better. I need to go do this. I want to get better."
  – Joel’s repeated refrain as recalled by Karoline ([08:41])

• Nicole’s perspective:
  "There was this period where my mom was thinking, like, maybe he'll get better... and they could possibly start from scratch and start dating again." ([09:00])

• Describing the cycle of secrecy and fantasy:
  "I found myself starting to believe in the fantasy world and my self esteem crashed. There were no boundaries or limitations in this fantasy world."
  – Joel ([15:12])

• Case manager’s blunt warning:
  "There's a lot more he's actually said... if you find out everything, there's no way you guys will be able to stay together."
  ([17:59])

• Affair with bully’s mother and Nicole’s heartbreak:
  "You knew what that girl did to me... and then you went and had sex with her mom.” – Nicole to Joel ([29:57])
  "It's like, you are not someone I look up to anymore. You're Joel to me now. You can go fuck yourself." – Joel’s son ([30:52])

• On Joel’s compulsive lying:
  “Even in that moment, after everything that had gone on, he just looked at me and lied. I mean, blatantly lied.” – Caroline ([44:31])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Recommendation for Joel’s termination: [04:55]
• Joel’s plan to delay termination with rehab: [05:48]
• Joel’s “sex addiction” revealed to family: [07:58]
• Caroline and Nicole grappling with hope: [08:41]–[09:15]
• Joel’s confessional texts from rehab: [14:13]–[16:17]
• Warning from Joel's case manager: [17:59]–[18:40]
• Discovery of affair with Nicole’s bully’s mom: [27:38]–[29:06]
• Nicole’s emotional confrontation with Joel: [29:57]–[30:18]
• Second affair with a coworker comes to light: [35:13]–[36:32]
• Nicole’s car accident: [37:08]–[37:52]
• Joel’s rehab relapse: [38:18]–[39:23]
• Final meeting at the coffee shop and last words: [40:59]–[44:31]

Episode Highlights & Memorable Moments

• The crushing realization for Nicole upon learning of her father’s affair with the mother of her childhood tormentor—a moment that redefines “betrayal.”
• Karoline’s dogged pursuit of the truth via phone records, leading to the exposure of not just one but multiple affairs.
• Repeated cycles of confession, minimization, and denial by Joel, further traumatizing his family.
• Karoline’s final assertion of boundaries, refusing even a parting hug after their divorce meeting, underscoring her hard-won resolve ([44:24]).

Tone & Language

The episode is intimate, raw, and emotionally charged. Narration is matter-of-fact but empathetic, weaving in the voices of Caroline and Nicole as they navigate shock, heartbreak, and ultimately, the resolve to move on. Joel’s words and justifications are presented as-is, often with a performative sincerity that contrasts sharply with the devastation left in his wake.

For Listeners

This episode plunges deep into the emotional aftermath of high-stakes deceit and the slow, painful path toward truth and closure. Caroline and her children’s experiences serve as both a cautionary tale and a testament to resilience in the face of unimaginable betrayal.

Next episode preview:
The emotional fallout continues as Caroline receives an enigmatic message taped to her front door, and the family braces for whatever truth comes next.

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