S4: EP 9 — Three Little Birds

Summary

Betrayal: Season 4, Episode 9 — "Three Little Birds"

Podcast: Betrayal
Host: Andrea Gunning
Date: July 17, 2025

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Overview

In this emotional and intimate episode, host Andrea Gunning concludes Season 4’s exploration of betrayal, focusing on Karoline Borega (using the pseudonym "Caroline" in the episode) and the shattering truths she faced after discovering her husband—Colorado Springs Police Officer Joel Kern—was living a double life. The episode takes the audience through the personal fallout not only for Caroline but also for one of her close friends, Suzanne, who faces her own betrayal. Together, their stories paint a picture of trauma, resilience, the power of friendship, and the long road to healing. Listeners also hear deeply personal feedback from others affected by betrayal, offering broader context on the impact of such deceptions within law enforcement and beyond. The episode closes with a moment of hope and renewal as Caroline's family gathers to support her son at the Boston Marathon, where their new family mantra, “Three Little Birds,” takes center stage.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Day Everything Changed for Caroline

• [03:55] Caroline reflects on the moment when Joel, her husband, removed his wedding ring after confessing his secret life.
  • Quote: “He never removed his wedding ring...Inside of it, I had engraved forever and ever. And Joel sets it down on the fireplace and just walked out the door.” — Caroline [03:55]
• Caroline’s reaction is somber and heartbroken, marking the beginning of unraveling the marriage she thought she knew.

2. Suzanne’s Support & Later, Her Own Betrayal

• [04:34] Suzanne, a confidante, immediately supports Caroline after the betrayal is revealed, staying into the night just to listen and grieve together around Caroline’s kitchen table.
  • Quote: “We literally must have sat at the table with, you know, wine and food from about 7 o'clock till about 11:30 that night while we were there. Caroline said that Joel was having an affair. He was having an affair with multiple people.” — Suzanne [05:27]
• [09:26] Months later, Suzanne unexpectedly faces her own marital crisis: she discovers a series of online affairs committed by her husband.
  • She shares, “After seeing the emails that I had seen, I just needed to run.” — Suzanne [10:29]
  • The betrayal was compounded by the fact that her husband had supported Caroline through her ordeal, all while hiding his own secret.

3. Parallel Pain: Friendship and Shared Healing

• [11:44] Caroline expresses anger on Suzanne’s behalf, feeling both heartbreak and fury over the repetition of betrayal within her close circle.
  • “He was an ally. He saw the pain the kids and I went through. Like, he witnessed the tears firsthand.” — Caroline [11:44]
  • “I couldn't even hide it...I had just this utmost hurt for her because...how long you've been with someone. And then to think, now I have to start over and figure life out by myself. Like, how do you recover from that?” — Caroline [12:18]
• [13:05] Suzanne reveals the physical and emotional impact, sharing experiences of panic attacks and coming home to an empty house.
  • “I just can't breathe. I've had panic attacks, anxiety attacks, emotional attacks.” — Suzanne [13:05]
• Both women draw comfort and understanding from each other, comparing the loss to a death, and acknowledging that the trauma never fully leaves.
  • “I'm new at it right now...I'm starting to think of it like a death. It never goes away.” — Suzanne [14:08]
  • “I would never ever ever ever wish this on anyone...I never want anyone to ever experience that, ever. And I think there's this piece of me that feels attached to Suzanne as a result of this.” — Caroline [15:28]
  • Memorable exchange:
    • “I wouldn't trade her for anybody in the world right now because she does get it…” — Suzanne [15:15]
    • “I love you.” — Suzanne
    • “I love you too.” — Caroline [16:12]

4. Podcast as Validation and Healing

• [20:55] Caroline discusses how participating in the podcast has been cathartic, in part because everything is fact-checked and validated, adding legitimacy to her experience.
  • “Everything I say is vetted...Being able to have someone validate that this occurred, it was extremely important.” — Caroline [20:55]
• Andrea reflects on the therapeutic potential for sharing truth and being believed.

5. Listener Emails: The Broader Impact

Email from a Former Police Officer

• [21:57] A former CSPD officer writes in about his own betrayal—not by a spouse but by the department he served.
  • Quote highlights feelings of anger, shame, and abandonment: “My betrayal didn't come from a spouse. It came from the department I loved, the one I believed would stand behind me...” [23:52]
  • Caroline is deeply moved, feeling “nauseated” at the systemic failure to protect good officers.

Email from a Listener in Canada

• [24:55] A woman describes a near-identical experience with her ex-husband, a police officer in Calgary, noting how disciplinary actions were sidestepped and “psychopaths get away with their crimes.”
  • Caroline acknowledges this is not unique: “What I did not sign up for and I did not accept was for him to deface his badge and was for him to defy our marital vows. I did not sign up for that.” — Caroline [25:46]

Email from One of Joel’s Affairs

• [27:06] A woman from Joel’s workplace admits to being one of his affairs and details how Joel manipulated her by lying about Caroline’s health and exploiting his position.
  • “He told me that Caroline was only good to look at and said that she was sick with arthritis and didn't pay attention to him...I confronted him about her being sick. How did she run a marathon if she was so sick? He laughed at me and told me I didn't know what I was talking about. I know I'm not the only affair he had at CSPD, but every day I wish I wasn't one of the people on his roster.” [27:06]
  • Caroline is unmoved by the affair itself but sickened by the manipulation: “The part that just is a gut punch to me is hearing the manipulation tactics and the lies used to garner his sexual affairs…It just sickens me.” — Caroline [29:35]
• Andrea summarizes the repeated blows these revelations deliver, and Caroline likens life with Joel to being unwitting actors in the “Truman Show”—everything staged.
  • “There was the life that he lived with us, or the one that he pretended to live with us. And then there was this version he showed to people at work. None of it was real. All of it was a performance.” — Caroline [30:37]

6. Joel’s Statement

• The podcast team offers Joel the chance to speak; he declines, sending only a brief written statement acknowledging “mistakes” and stating he is trying to become a better version of himself, with no further comment. [31:09]

7. Closing: Three Little Birds & The Boston Marathon

• [37:04] The family’s new mantra is explained during a dinner before Caroline's son runs the Boston Marathon: inspired by Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds.” After Joel’s departure, the family of four felt reduced to three, and the song’s chorus became a sign of hope for them.
  • “We were a family of four, but we really dwindled down to three and it just became three little birds...it just has become our thing.” — Caroline [37:04]
• [38:49] The Marathon itself becomes symbolic of the slow, incremental process of healing.
  • “If I were to tell you that I think the kids and I will ever cross a finish line from the trauma that was caused, I just don't think that's realistic...but we will get through it.” — Caroline [38:49]
  • “The three of us have been through something that no three other people will ever have gone exactly through. And so to be able to say that we're still here, still standing, still achieving, and still together, I think that's incredible.” — Caroline [40:20]
• The episode—and season—close on a note of bittersweet triumph, as the family finds joy and unity in supporting each other, even if the journey is far from finished.

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Most Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Caroline’s wedding ring realization:
  “Inside of it, I had engraved forever and ever. And Joel sets it down on the fireplace and just walked out the door.” — Caroline [03:55]
• The kitchen table of solidarity:
  “We literally must have sat at the table...while we were there. Caroline said that Joel was having an affair. He was having an affair with multiple people.” — Suzanne [05:27]
• Suzanne’s parallel betrayal:
  “After seeing the emails...I just needed to run.” — Suzanne [10:29] “He was an ally. He saw the pain the kids and I went through.” — Caroline [11:44]
• On trauma’s long tail:
  “It never goes away. You compartmentalize. It's always going to be part of who you are now, and it makes you who you are in the future.” — Suzanne [14:08]
• The meaning of validation:
  “Being able to have someone validate that this occurred, it was extremely important.” — Caroline [20:55]
• The pattern of manipulation:
  “The part that just is a gut punch to me is hearing the manipulation tactics and the lies used to garner his sexual affairs…It just sickens me.” — Caroline [29:35]
• Describing life with Joel:
  “It's like we were living in the Truman Show. Joel was the director, and the rest of us were just cast members...” — Caroline [30:37]
• Family healing:
  “We really dwindled down to three and it just became three little birds...that mantra has kept us going.” — Caroline [37:04]
• Moving forward:
  “I'm not sure that we'll really, truly ever understand...but we will get through it.” — Caroline [38:49]
• Resilience and unity:
  “To be able to say that we're still here, still standing, still achieving, and still together, I think that's incredible.” — Caroline [40:20]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [03:55] – Joel’s confession and removal of wedding ring
• [05:27] – Suzanne’s solidarity in crisis
• [09:26] – Suzanne’s own discovery of betrayal
• [11:44] – Caroline’s reaction to Suzanne’s news
• [13:05] – The physical and emotional aftermath of betrayal
• [20:55] – Caroline on the healing power of sharing her truth
• [21:57] – Email from the former CSPD officer
• [27:06] – Email from one of Joel’s affairs
• [30:37] – “Truman Show” metaphor—living a manipulated life
• [37:04] – “Three Little Birds” mantra and its meaning
• [40:20] – Family standing together after the trauma

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Tone & Language

The episode remains raw, candid, and empathetic throughout, deeply respectful of the pain endured by all involved while frequently interspersed with moments of hope and human warmth. The language is personal and vivid, maintaining the voices and perspectives of those whose stories are shared. The exchanges are often emotional, direct, and loaded with hard-earned wisdom.

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Summary

"Three Little Birds" delivers a poignant exploration of pain, revelation, and human bonds tested by the ultimate betrayals. Through Caroline and Suzanne’s sagas, listeners witness parallel journeys of heartbreak and recovery. The inclusion of listener stories extends the narrative beyond one marriage or one department, revealing systemic patterns of betrayal and institutional failure. Yet, the episode closes by focusing not on the abusers, but on those surviving and supporting one another—finding hope, humor, and triumph in the smallest of things. The “three little birds” family mantra emerges as a symbol of resilience and the promise that, while the pain may never fully disappear, there is healing in togetherness and truth.

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Transcript

[Andrea Gunning]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Andrea Gunning]

Are there two sides to every Story? Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in the girlfriend on Prime September 10, a psychological thriller that will make you question everything. Laura has the perfect life and a son she'd die for, but when he brings home his new girlfriend Cherry, played by Olivia Cook, something feels off. Also starring Laurie Davidson, the Girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems. Don't miss the Girlfriend. Streaming exclusively on Prime September 10th. Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective.

[Caroline]

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[Andrea Gunning]

So I thought it would be fun.

[Caroline]

If we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Caroline]

He never removed his wedding ring. He always kept it on. So he struggled for a long time, but finally gets his ring off. Inside of it, I had engraved forever and ever. And Joel sets it down on the fireplace and just walked out the door.

[Andrea Gunning]

It was April 11th of 2022, the day the world no longer made sense to Caroline. She was at home with Nicole, just reeling, and she needed her people. One of those people was a woman. We're going to call Suzanne. We have disguised her voice to protect her privacy.

[Suzanne]

I remember exactly where we were. There was about seven or eight of us in the car going up to the Journey concert up in Denver. A friend was the one who received the phone call, and I was sitting right behind her. And her reaction was, oh, my God, is he okay? And I'm like, oh, my God.

[Andrea Gunning]

Suzanne's first fear was that Joel had been injured in the line of duty.

[Suzanne]

And then this other person told me that Joel was having an affair and that Caroline said that her life is about to fall apart. I said, you know, let's go home. So we literally pulled off the highway and pulled into a 7 11.

[Andrea Gunning]

They jumped out of that car and got a ride to Caroline's house. There were no words that could make it better. So Suzanne didn't try. She just listened and cried with Caroline.

[Suzanne]

And we literally must have sat at the table with, you know, wine and food from about 7 o' clock till about 11:30 that night while we were there. Caroline said that Joel was having an affair. He was having an affair with multiple people.

[Andrea Gunning]

Suzanne's chest tightened as she watched Caroline unravel. Her heart was broken for her friend. That night would be the first of many they'd spend together at Caroline's kitchen table. What Suzanne could have never imagined was that she would soon need Caroline to return the favor. I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is betrayal. Season 4, Episode 9 Three Little Birds over the past several episodes, we've pulled back the curtain on Caroline's family and the unraveling of her marriage to Joel Kern. Through conversations with relatives, close friends, and former officers from the Colorado Springs Police Department, we've worked to piece together a complex and often painful story. Before we wrapped up the season, we decided to make another trip out to Colorado Springs. It looked a lot different on our last visit. The streets were blanketed in snow, and we carefully navigated the mountain town, taking in its winter beauty. This time, spring was in the air. And along with the change of seasons, there were changes in the lives of Caroline and her friends.

[Caroline]

I totally told Denise, I'm like, this just must be for you, because this is not.

[Andrea Gunning]

The first time we visited Colorado Springs to meet Caroline. We were warmly welcomed into her Sunday supper club at home, surrounded by her close friends, we shared a meal, some wine, and plenty of laughter. It gave us a glimpse into her support system, the people who had stood by her through the discovery of Joel's betrayal. Suzanne was often at these dinners, but not that night. She was working, training for a new job. Her husband was there, though, and spoke about his wife with great affection. When we returned recently, we joined Caroline and Suzanne on a walk. It was a windy one around a nearby lake. On a typical Colorado day, it was sunny with a view of Pike's Peak, but that quickly changed to clouds rolling in around us. Caroline recalled the unconditional support she had received from Suzanne and her husband in her time of need.

[Caroline]

He and Suzanne had been at my house when my life blew up.

[Andrea Gunning]

Witnessing Caroline's distress, Suzanne and her husband held each other a little closer. Seeing firsthand how quickly a relationship can be decimated has an unsettling effect.

[Caroline]

They were the people who said, you gotta get up so that we can go to Nicole's lacrosse game. We're gonna sit with you in the stands. We're gonna be next to you. Hey, this awards thing's going on tonight. You don't need to go to that alone. We're gonna go with you.

[Andrea Gunning]

They were those friends. They showed up and they were one of those couples who truly enjoyed life together, running marathons side by side, always up for an adventure. They had met years earlier in another part of the country and moved to Colorado Springs. But something beside the weather had shifted since we were last in Colorado. Something in Suzanne's marriage. A few months ago, Caroline was away visiting her daughter Nicole at college when she received a surprising text from Suzanne. The message said, I just want to.

[Caroline]

Let you know I appreciate you and I value what you have gone through. I've been thinking about you a lot. And I said, I really appreciate that. And then I got another text saying, hey, when you get home, let's sit down and chat.

[Andrea Gunning]

The words of support weren't unusual, but it wasn't like Suzanne to wait to chat in person. Normally, she'd just call.

[Suzanne]

Knowing what she had been through and knowing what she was going through. I did not want to ruin a weekend.

[Andrea Gunning]

While Caroline was away, Suzanne stumbled upon something in her own home that changed her entire life. 18 years into their marriage, Suzanne discovered a series of emails that crossed the line. Messages her husband had been exchanging with women online. And he had a fetish she knew nothing about. That's all we can say legally about it. As she kept reading, it became clear this had been going on for a long time.

[Suzanne]

After seeing the emails that I had seen, I just needed to run.

[Andrea Gunning]

When Caroline returned home, Suzanne shared the whole story.

[Suzanne]

The biggest hurt for me is that he would do this and not be open enough in our marriage after all that we've gone through. But that after hearing Caroline's story and going through everything for the last couple of years, you didn't think about sitting me down and saying, I got to tell you something. Like, you don't think, like, what kind of secret keeping is that?

[Andrea Gunning]

Many women would have walked away if their husband confessed to this behavior. Suzanne was the type of person that would have been open to rebuilding if he had told her the truth and if he was committed to addressing the behavior.

[Suzanne]

And then in the end, to find out that this biggest secret that you had, you've kept for so many years, instead of getting help, he was someone.

[Andrea Gunning]

Who was helping and supporting Caroline, knowing full well the entire time that he was engaging in betrayal himself. Caroline was shaken. Stunned, really. Suzanne's husband was part of her inner circle.

[Caroline]

He was an ally. He saw the pain the kids and I went through. Like, he witnessed the tears firsthand.

[Andrea Gunning]

Suzanne was devastated. She had always believed her husband was the most loyal man in the world. He was her person. So she told him to Leave. They separated, and Suzanne was left feeling lonely, distraught, and trying to make sense of the life she thought she knew. Caroline was furious.

[Caroline]

My anger toward him, I couldn't even hide it. When she disclosed to me what happened, I had just this utmost hurt for her because of knowing what you're chapter of life has been and how long you've been with someone. And then to think, now I have to start over and figure life out by myself. Like, how do you recover from that? And knowing the array of emotions that were about ready to come was so heartbreaking to watch.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline had firsthand knowledge of what lay ahead. She knew the grief that accompanies betrayal and how it shakes you to your core. It doesn't just break your heart. It takes a toll on your whole body.

[Suzanne]

I've called her a couple of times, especially where I'm like, I just can't breathe. She's like, okay, stop. What happened? Nothing happened. I just can't breathe. I've had panic attacks, anxiety attacks, emotional attacks.

[Andrea Gunning]

The weight of the separation really hit Suzanne after a trip to visit her family.

[Suzanne]

Coming home from visiting family is another rough day. Ironically, because you come back to a life that is not what you used to come back to. I don't have that confidant and that person at my house to lean on.

[Andrea Gunning]

For Caroline, that's a familiar feeling. It's one she remembers well from those first days of being an empty nester.

[Caroline]

Shortly after, it was just me. Nicole had left for school, and it was just me lost in silence at the house.

[Andrea Gunning]

So instead of being alone, Caroline would spend time with people like Suzanne, friends who felt like family. Suzanne is still in those early days.

[Suzanne]

I'm new at it right now, and I don't have three years in. I'm starting to think of it like a death. It never goes away. You compartmentalize. It's always going to be part of who you are now, and it makes you who you are in the future. But I don't think it ever goes away.

[Andrea Gunning]

I wondered how long it takes for this trauma and loss to no longer be the first thing you remember when you open your eyes in the morning.

[Caroline]

I actually just had a conversation with Nicole about this today. She, her brother, and myself, we've confessed to each other that a day does not start without remembering what he did.

[Andrea Gunning]

Suzanne shares the same experience.

[Suzanne]

I can have a good time going out with friends and doing things. And then as soon as I turn the corner to my house, bam. It all hits me again. I wake up in the morning and I realize that my house is empty.

[Andrea Gunning]

Having a close friend who knows that feeling.

[Suzanne]

I wouldn't trade her for anybody in the world right now because she does get it and she can answer those questions. The fact that you can have a friend that has these conversations with you is far and few between.

[Caroline]

I would never ever ever ever wish this on anyone. Ever. I would never want anyone to have the shock and awe and have to sit and relive and then rethink your entire life and question if your family and marriage was a fraud. I never want anyone to ever experience that, ever. And I think there's this piece of me that feels attached to Suzanne as a result of this.

[Suzanne]

I've learned a lot from her. She has taught me me to be more open and honest in my feelings about stuff. We're still being incredibly brutally honest where other times in friendships you don't have that opportunity to be love you.

[Caroline]

I love you too.

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[Andrea Gunning]

Are there two sides to every story? Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in the girlfriend on prime September 10, a spine tingling psychological thriller that will make you question everything you think you know. Laura has the dream job, the perfect husband and a son she'd die for. But when her beloved Daniel brings home his new girlfriend, Cherry, played by Olivia Cook, something feels off. Is Cherry the sweet, innocent girl she appears to be? Or is there something more manipulative beneath the surface? And how far will a mother go to protect her son? Also starring Lori Davidson, the Girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems and everyone has something to hide. Don't miss the Girlfriend Streaming exclusively on Prime September 10 Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective. I used to think home security was just an alarm that goes off after a break in, scaring the intruder off and maybe getting a neighbor's attention if you're lucky. But that's reactive. By the time someone's inside your home, it's already too late. Your feeling of safety is gone. That's why I use Simplisafe. Real security should stop a crime before it even starts. And Simplisafe does exactly that. I love Simplisafe because their system gives me total peace of mind knowing my home is protected 24 7. Their smart AI powered cameras can spot threats outside your home and alert simply saves professional monitoring agents instantly. Those agents jump into action and can use two way audio to confront the person, trigger sirens and spotlights to scare them off, and even request police dispatch, all while the intruder is still outside. That's not just an alarm, that's real proactive protection. Join the more than 4 million Americans who trust SimpliSafe every day, including me. With a 60 day money back guarantee and no long term contracts, you've got nothing to lose. Visit simplisafe.com betrayal to claim 50% off a new system. That's simplisafe.com betrayal there's no safe like Simplisafe. You know what every betrayal story has in common? There are always signs that something isn't right. Just like when your own body turns against you. Sluggish digestion, constant fatigue, and trouble losing weight. They're all signs of a disrupted gut. Introducing Bioma, a novel supplement that contains everything you need for a healthy gut. Enjoy comfortable digestion, boundless energy, and even smoother weight management when following a healthy lifestyle. Just take two Byoma capsules each morning before breakfast and start feeling your best. Visit Byoma Health and use code BETRIAL to get 15% off your first order. As we were getting closer to wrapping up Caroline's story, I asked her to join me to talk about what it has been like making this podcast. We've also seen a lot of listener feedback this season and received emails from people associated with the cspd, and some of it is pretty shocking. Here are some of our conversation Caroline, I am so grateful that you shared your story with us this season and I'm curious about your experience. Would you say it's been therapeutic for you?

[Caroline]

Doing this podcast was very helpful. I mean, it wasn't just helpful to be able to finally say my truth, finally tell my side. But I will also tell you what was something that was also very helpful and very therapeutic and very cathartic. What a lot of people don't know about this podcast is everything I say is vetted. There is nothing that I can recount or big moments that is not fact checked, is not looked through by or corroborated by two, three, four other parties. Being able to have someone validate that this occurred, it was extremely important.

[Andrea Gunning]

Yeah, I imagine that can be really powerful because it's validating your lived experience.

[Caroline]

Absolutely.

[Andrea Gunning]

I want to move on to some comments from listeners, and one thing I can say is people were really invested in your story. Are you down to hear some of them?

[Caroline]

I'd love to.

[Andrea Gunning]

Okay. The first one I'm going to share is from a former CSPD officer. He writes, Dear Betrayal podcast host and team, I've been listening to Betrayal season four, and I feel the need to share how deeply the story affected me. I was one class behind Joel Kern. Hearing what he did, the multiple affairs, lying to Internal affairs and his family was shocking. What devastated me even more was hearing how the department supported him. Meanwhile, I served with honor for nearly 15 years. I continuously put my life on the line for this city. I suffered a mental breakdown on the job and was later diagnosed with PTSD and a traumatic brain injury, both directly tied to my service. I never disgraced the badge. All I did was ask for help, and I was denied again and again. The department psychologist said he didn't actually provide mental health care. I lost my job. I lost my identity. My family, and I had built our entire life around my police career. Suddenly, it was gone. I spiraled into nearly a decade of depression. I drank heavily. I was suicidal. At first, listening to this podcast made me sick. Then I felt ashamed, ashamed that I had ever worn the same badge. But as I kept listening, I became angry because I remember the culture and unethical behavior among command staff. My betrayal didn't come from a spouse. It came from the department I loved, the one I believed would stand behind me the way I stood behind the public. It didn't. Thank you for telling hard stories. They matter. They remind the world that some of us were thrown away not because we failed, but because we were no longer convenient. I won't share the name of the email, but I think you know this individual.

[Caroline]

I know who this person is and what their role was in the department. And their role was what you think of a police officer doing. I mean, you think of this person as engaging in heroic acts and very dangerous situations and circumstances. And knowing what this person did and what his assignment was. This email fills me with so much emotion. It just makes me feel nauseated to know that someone like him was cast aside and not provided the assistance and help that truly could have saved his career, truly could have saved him as an individual. It's just incredibly disheartening to me.

[Andrea Gunning]

It is disheartening. I mean, I guess all I can say is I'm grateful for this person's service and grateful that they felt safe enough to write in and share their story with us. And I hope this person feels heard and appreciated.

[Caroline]

He's very much appreciated.

[Andrea Gunning]

Okay, this next email is interesting because it's not just from a different state, it's a different country, she writes. Thank you for putting season four out. I was married to a former police officer in Calgary who is almost the same person as Joel Kern. The only difference is that the Calgary Police Service swept it all under the rug. My ex was able to resign in 2021 while under five investigations. Since he chose to resign before he was fired, he has no record and can become a police officer anywhere in Canada. Unfortunately, these psychopaths get away with their crimes. Thank you for making these things known. It is wild that someone in Canada has such a similar experience to you. Is that surprising to you?

[Caroline]

I don't think that my story is necessarily an anomaly in the sense that I was married to a police officer. I knew what I was getting when I was married to a cop. I knew that he would have to work nights. I knew that there would be weird hours. I knew there would be times he would not be able to be home for holidays or special events. These are things that I accepted. What I did not sign up for and I did not accept was for him to deface his badge and was for him to defy our marital vows. I did not sign up for that.

[Andrea Gunning]

Right. No, you didn't. And I. And I think it's safe to say that in your case, and I would argue the. In the case of the person that wrote in that all the allowances you guys made to help accommodate their job and their work schedules were exploited.

[Caroline]

Yes, absolutely. 100%.

[Andrea Gunning]

Okay, we're gonna talk about one more email, and it was one that we recently received, and it was a shock to our team when we received it. We sent it to you. You've had some time to digest it. I mean, I should say it's a shock, but not a complete surprise because we, you know, having heard the number of people Joel was having affairs with, it's tough. But to your point earlier about validation, I think it's important for us to discuss it.

[Caroline]

Okay.

[Andrea Gunning]

Okay. Here we go. To the host of Betrayal podcast. I don't know if my conscience will ever be clean, but writing you is a first step. I am one of Joel Kern's affairs. Joel was my lieutenant and he held power. He also made me believe we were in a relationship and had a future. I remember seeing Caroline and talk to her a few times. She'd show up to the substation with dinner for him or cake and ice cream for everyone for special occasions. She told our shift that everyone was welcome to eat Thanksgiving dinner at their home if we had nowhere to go. One year, she made Christmas dinner for the entire shift and set up a photo booth. I guess that's why it was flattering. When Joel started complimenting me. He started flirting with me and sending messages when I was out. He asked what I look like in regular clothes. Then he asked me to meet him for dinner on shift. Things started crossing the line and getting romantic. I told him that I couldn't believe he wanted someone like me when he had a pretty wife and kids. He told me that Caroline was only good to look at and said that she was sick with arthritis and didn't pay attention to him. Joel said she couldn't do anything or go anywhere. He said she was always in bed and he couldn't divorce her since she was so sick. I believed him. We had sex at my house after work and a few times before. I felt guilty when we had sex in his office because of all the pictures of his wife and kids around. He told me the pictures were for show. I started to realize I wasn't the only one he was sleeping with. I was embarrassed and ashamed. A friend showed his Facebook page. I was so mad when I saw pictures of Joel and Caroline after she ran a marathon. I confronted him about her being sick. How did she run a marathon if she was so sick? He laughed at me and told me I didn't know what I was talking about. I know I'm not the only affair he had at cspd, but every day I wish I wasn't one of the people on his roster. If Caroline gets these emails, then I want her to know that I'm very sorry and hope she can move forward. This email is a great example of, you know, what we explored in this season is, you know, as you're trying to move forward and just live your life. You know, you take three steps and then, bam. New information, a new affair. You didn't see coming, and it's just another blow. It's just another hit.

[Caroline]

I'm desensitized to hearing about affairs. Like, that part doesn't hit my soul, hearing this email. The part that just is a gut punch to me is hearing the manipulation tactics and the lies used to garner his sexual affairs. Very few people know that I have rheumatoid arthritis. Very few people know that about me. It is not something that debilitates me and puts me bedridden. But for him to have used that and told someone that, to manipulate them to have sex with him, it just sickens me.

[Andrea Gunning]

It honestly just feels like nothing was off limits in his pursuit. I mean, it's fascinating and horrifying how much Joel was manipulating everyone in his orbit.

[Caroline]

So a new friend from my women's group said something to me that had just really stuck with me. She said, it's like we were living in the Truman Show. Joel was the director, and the rest of us were just cast members just going along with the script without even knowing it. There was the life that he lived with us, or the one that, you know, that he pretended to live with us. And then there was this version he showed to people at work. None of it was real. All of it was a performance.

[Andrea Gunning]

I think this is a good time to mention we did reach out to Joel to give him the opportunity to share on the podcast, but he did decline our request for an interview. However, he did send us a written statement, and I'm going to read that now. Thank you for reaching out. I understand the nature of the series and appreciate the opportunity to respond. However, I've decided not to participate in the podcast. I do want to acknowledge that I've made mistakes and that others have their own stories to tell. While I will not be adding to the conversation publicly, I continue to reflect and work on becoming a better version of myself. I ask that this message be taken as my only comment. Sincerely, Joel. I think it's fair to say that we're probably never going to get to the bottom of why Joel did what he did, why he did this to your family, why he did this to you. But here's what I do know. There are so many people who've been betrayed by a partner, and it's isolating and it's deeply lonely. And hearing your story, your honesty, your strength, your vulnerability, it might be the moment someone else realizes that they're not alone.

[Caroline]

Thank you for giving me the platform to do it.

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[Andrea Gunning]

Two sides to every story? Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in the girlfriend on prime September 10, a spine tingling psychological thriller that will make you question everything you think you know. Lara has the dream job, the perfect husband and a son she'd die for. But when her beloved Daniel brings home his new girlfriend, Cherry, played by Olivia Cook, something feels off. Is Cherry the sweet, innocent girl she appears to be? Or is there something more manipulative beneath the surface? And how far will a mother go to protect her son? Also starring Lori Davidson, the Girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems and everyone has something to hide. Don't miss the Girlfriend. Streaming exclusively on Prime September 10 Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective. You know what every betrayal story has in common. There are always signs that something isn't right, just like when your own body turns against you. Sluggish digestion, constant fatigue, and trouble losing weight. They're all signs of a disrupted gut. Introducing Bioma, a novel supplement that contains everything you need for a healthy gut. Enjoy comfortable digestion, boundless energy and even smoother weight management when following a healthy lifestyle, just take two Byoma capsules each morning before breakfast and start feeling your best. Visit Byoma Health and use code betrial to get 15% off your first order. Looking to simplify your health routine? Discover Groons, the new way to get your daily greens without the hassle. Say goodbye to messy powders and large pills to swallow these awesome all in one eight daily gummies are packed with over 20 vitamins, minerals and 60 whole food ingredients. They're vegan gluten free and taste just like a fruit snack. And there's great news for parents. Groon's Kids has just launched. These tasty gummies are specially made for your little ones. Packed with everything they need for growth, brain development and immunity. Say goodbye to the drama of getting your little ones to take their vitamins. Don't miss out. Right now you can get up to 45% off your first order. Just use code betrayal at checkout. Make getting your daily greens the easiest way possible with Groons, where serious nutrition meets serious fun. You're gonna love it. After months getting to know Caroline and her world, we had one more trip that we wanted to take to watch her son run the Boston Marathon. It wasn't his first time running, but this was the first time Caroline and Nicole would get to see him cross the finish line. We were excited to go along. Before race day, we all sat down at dinner together. Nicole was grateful not just to have the whole family in one place, but to finally share this experience and to talk together for the podcast. By the way, you'll hear the sounds of the restaurant in the background. This is our first time talking, all three of us. Now that I had them all at one table, I wanted to ask them about something. I noticed Caroline has lots of images of birds around in her home and even in a tattoo. I asked the family about it.

[Caroline]

My mom would probably be the best for that. So life blows up. And we would check in with each other every day and we started talking about, you know, just different mantras and how we kept going. And one day my son said, I keep hearing the Bob Marley song. And it just keeps chanting like, everything's gonna be alright. I actually thought to myself, how fitting that obviously the chorus is, everything is going to be all right. But the title of the song is Three Little Birds. And so we were a family of four, but we really dwindled down to three and it just became three little birds. And after that, our mantra has been three little birds or we sign everything off on to each other. Tlb. It just has become our thing.

[Andrea Gunning]

The next morning, we were off to the Boston Marathon.

[Caroline]

His freshman year, he had the goal of doing this and it was a big deal for him to train and cross the finish line. And he was scheduled to do this in April of 2022. And so just a week before that was our designated D Day when Joel blew up our lives. And we didn't know if he would follow through with it. And he said that it was a big deal for him to do it. That training and being a part of something bigger was just kind of keeping him on a path to heal for himself since he was so far away and to keep his mind off of certain things. And so he did it.

[Andrea Gunning]

The first time he ran the marathon, Joel's betrayal was painfully fresh.

[Caroline]

The day that he did the race, Joel called in in the middle of the conversation, we were sitting in a car and Nicole actually had to say, you do know that today is a bigger day than you. My brother's doing this marathon and you completely forgot about it. There's so much more that's bigger than you. Well, this is the first year that we have actually gotten to see him cross the finish. It's just been a slow. Just a slow burn, a slow achievement to try to keep going. And if I were to tell you that I think the kids and I will ever cross, like a finish line from the trauma that was caused, I just don't think that's realistic. I think we can keep going and I think we can continue to figure out our way through it, but I'm not sure that we'll really, truly ever understand no reasons why or really get over anything, but we will get through it.

[Andrea Gunning]

But today was a good day. Standing on the streets of Boston near the finish line, the sky was clear and we cheered runners as they crossed. I was holding a sign that said free beer at finish line. And we waited with anticipation for Caroline's son.

[Caroline]

A beer sounds good after this. The three of us have been through something that no three other people will ever have gone exactly through. And so to be able to say that we're still here, still standing, still achieving, instilled together, I think that's incredible.

[Andrea Gunning]

Pure joy, pure love. Maybe every little thing isn't perfect, but these three little birds are doing all right. Just like the song says, that might.

[Caroline]

Be my baby boy.

[Andrea Gunning]

Keep going. Keep going. Come on. Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season four. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email [e-mail] that's betrayalpodmail.com Also, please be sure to follow us on Instagram, etrayalpod and me Andreah Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates. One way to support the series is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal 5 star reviews. Help us know you appreciate what we do. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with Iheart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison Betrayal is hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Kerry Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producers are Kaitlyn golden and Kristin Melcuri. Our iHeart team is ally Perry and Jessica Krynczyk. Story editing by Monique Laborde, audio editing by Matt d' Avecchio and Tanner Robbins and mixed by Matt d' Alvecchio and special thanks to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines Music Library provided by Mind Music and for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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