Betrayal: Season 4, Episode 9 — "Three Little Birds"

Podcast: Betrayal
Host: Andrea Gunning
Date: July 17, 2025

Overview

In this emotional and intimate episode, host Andrea Gunning concludes Season 4’s exploration of betrayal, focusing on Karoline Borega (using the pseudonym "Caroline" in the episode) and the shattering truths she faced after discovering her husband—Colorado Springs Police Officer Joel Kern—was living a double life. The episode takes the audience through the personal fallout not only for Caroline but also for one of her close friends, Suzanne, who faces her own betrayal. Together, their stories paint a picture of trauma, resilience, the power of friendship, and the long road to healing. Listeners also hear deeply personal feedback from others affected by betrayal, offering broader context on the impact of such deceptions within law enforcement and beyond. The episode closes with a moment of hope and renewal as Caroline's family gathers to support her son at the Boston Marathon, where their new family mantra, “Three Little Birds,” takes center stage.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Day Everything Changed for Caroline

• [03:55] Caroline reflects on the moment when Joel, her husband, removed his wedding ring after confessing his secret life.
  • Quote: “He never removed his wedding ring...Inside of it, I had engraved forever and ever. And Joel sets it down on the fireplace and just walked out the door.” — Caroline [03:55]
• Caroline’s reaction is somber and heartbroken, marking the beginning of unraveling the marriage she thought she knew.

2. Suzanne’s Support & Later, Her Own Betrayal

• [04:34] Suzanne, a confidante, immediately supports Caroline after the betrayal is revealed, staying into the night just to listen and grieve together around Caroline’s kitchen table.
  • Quote: “We literally must have sat at the table with, you know, wine and food from about 7 o'clock till about 11:30 that night while we were there. Caroline said that Joel was having an affair. He was having an affair with multiple people.” — Suzanne [05:27]
• [09:26] Months later, Suzanne unexpectedly faces her own marital crisis: she discovers a series of online affairs committed by her husband.
  • She shares, “After seeing the emails that I had seen, I just needed to run.” — Suzanne [10:29]
  • The betrayal was compounded by the fact that her husband had supported Caroline through her ordeal, all while hiding his own secret.

3. Parallel Pain: Friendship and Shared Healing

• [11:44] Caroline expresses anger on Suzanne’s behalf, feeling both heartbreak and fury over the repetition of betrayal within her close circle.
  • “He was an ally. He saw the pain the kids and I went through. Like, he witnessed the tears firsthand.” — Caroline [11:44]
  • “I couldn't even hide it...I had just this utmost hurt for her because...how long you've been with someone. And then to think, now I have to start over and figure life out by myself. Like, how do you recover from that?” — Caroline [12:18]
• [13:05] Suzanne reveals the physical and emotional impact, sharing experiences of panic attacks and coming home to an empty house.
  • “I just can't breathe. I've had panic attacks, anxiety attacks, emotional attacks.” — Suzanne [13:05]
• Both women draw comfort and understanding from each other, comparing the loss to a death, and acknowledging that the trauma never fully leaves.
  • “I'm new at it right now...I'm starting to think of it like a death. It never goes away.” — Suzanne [14:08]
  • “I would never ever ever ever wish this on anyone...I never want anyone to ever experience that, ever. And I think there's this piece of me that feels attached to Suzanne as a result of this.” — Caroline [15:28]
  • Memorable exchange:
    • “I wouldn't trade her for anybody in the world right now because she does get it…” — Suzanne [15:15]
    • “I love you.” — Suzanne
    • “I love you too.” — Caroline [16:12]

4. Podcast as Validation and Healing

• [20:55] Caroline discusses how participating in the podcast has been cathartic, in part because everything is fact-checked and validated, adding legitimacy to her experience.
  • “Everything I say is vetted...Being able to have someone validate that this occurred, it was extremely important.” — Caroline [20:55]
• Andrea reflects on the therapeutic potential for sharing truth and being believed.

5. Listener Emails: The Broader Impact

Email from a Former Police Officer

• [21:57] A former CSPD officer writes in about his own betrayal—not by a spouse but by the department he served.
  • Quote highlights feelings of anger, shame, and abandonment: “My betrayal didn't come from a spouse. It came from the department I loved, the one I believed would stand behind me...” [23:52]
  • Caroline is deeply moved, feeling “nauseated” at the systemic failure to protect good officers.

Email from a Listener in Canada

• [24:55] A woman describes a near-identical experience with her ex-husband, a police officer in Calgary, noting how disciplinary actions were sidestepped and “psychopaths get away with their crimes.”
  • Caroline acknowledges this is not unique: “What I did not sign up for and I did not accept was for him to deface his badge and was for him to defy our marital vows. I did not sign up for that.” — Caroline [25:46]

Email from One of Joel’s Affairs

• [27:06] A woman from Joel’s workplace admits to being one of his affairs and details how Joel manipulated her by lying about Caroline’s health and exploiting his position.
  • “He told me that Caroline was only good to look at and said that she was sick with arthritis and didn't pay attention to him...I confronted him about her being sick. How did she run a marathon if she was so sick? He laughed at me and told me I didn't know what I was talking about. I know I'm not the only affair he had at CSPD, but every day I wish I wasn't one of the people on his roster.” [27:06]
  • Caroline is unmoved by the affair itself but sickened by the manipulation: “The part that just is a gut punch to me is hearing the manipulation tactics and the lies used to garner his sexual affairs…It just sickens me.” — Caroline [29:35]
• Andrea summarizes the repeated blows these revelations deliver, and Caroline likens life with Joel to being unwitting actors in the “Truman Show”—everything staged.
  • “There was the life that he lived with us, or the one that he pretended to live with us. And then there was this version he showed to people at work. None of it was real. All of it was a performance.” — Caroline [30:37]

6. Joel’s Statement

• The podcast team offers Joel the chance to speak; he declines, sending only a brief written statement acknowledging “mistakes” and stating he is trying to become a better version of himself, with no further comment. [31:09]

7. Closing: Three Little Birds & The Boston Marathon

• [37:04] The family’s new mantra is explained during a dinner before Caroline's son runs the Boston Marathon: inspired by Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds.” After Joel’s departure, the family of four felt reduced to three, and the song’s chorus became a sign of hope for them.
  • “We were a family of four, but we really dwindled down to three and it just became three little birds...it just has become our thing.” — Caroline [37:04]
• [38:49] The Marathon itself becomes symbolic of the slow, incremental process of healing.
  • “If I were to tell you that I think the kids and I will ever cross a finish line from the trauma that was caused, I just don't think that's realistic...but we will get through it.” — Caroline [38:49]
  • “The three of us have been through something that no three other people will ever have gone exactly through. And so to be able to say that we're still here, still standing, still achieving, and still together, I think that's incredible.” — Caroline [40:20]
• The episode—and season—close on a note of bittersweet triumph, as the family finds joy and unity in supporting each other, even if the journey is far from finished.

Most Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Caroline’s wedding ring realization:
  “Inside of it, I had engraved forever and ever. And Joel sets it down on the fireplace and just walked out the door.” — Caroline [03:55]
• The kitchen table of solidarity:
  “We literally must have sat at the table...while we were there. Caroline said that Joel was having an affair. He was having an affair with multiple people.” — Suzanne [05:27]
• Suzanne’s parallel betrayal:
  “After seeing the emails...I just needed to run.” — Suzanne [10:29] “He was an ally. He saw the pain the kids and I went through.” — Caroline [11:44]
• On trauma’s long tail:
  “It never goes away. You compartmentalize. It's always going to be part of who you are now, and it makes you who you are in the future.” — Suzanne [14:08]
• The meaning of validation:
  “Being able to have someone validate that this occurred, it was extremely important.” — Caroline [20:55]
• The pattern of manipulation:
  “The part that just is a gut punch to me is hearing the manipulation tactics and the lies used to garner his sexual affairs…It just sickens me.” — Caroline [29:35]
• Describing life with Joel:
  “It's like we were living in the Truman Show. Joel was the director, and the rest of us were just cast members...” — Caroline [30:37]
• Family healing:
  “We really dwindled down to three and it just became three little birds...that mantra has kept us going.” — Caroline [37:04]
• Moving forward:
  “I'm not sure that we'll really, truly ever understand...but we will get through it.” — Caroline [38:49]
• Resilience and unity:
  “To be able to say that we're still here, still standing, still achieving, and still together, I think that's incredible.” — Caroline [40:20]

Timestamps of Key Segments

• [03:55] – Joel’s confession and removal of wedding ring
• [05:27] – Suzanne’s solidarity in crisis
• [09:26] – Suzanne’s own discovery of betrayal
• [11:44] – Caroline’s reaction to Suzanne’s news
• [13:05] – The physical and emotional aftermath of betrayal
• [20:55] – Caroline on the healing power of sharing her truth
• [21:57] – Email from the former CSPD officer
• [27:06] – Email from one of Joel’s affairs
• [30:37] – “Truman Show” metaphor—living a manipulated life
• [37:04] – “Three Little Birds” mantra and its meaning
• [40:20] – Family standing together after the trauma

Tone & Language

The episode remains raw, candid, and empathetic throughout, deeply respectful of the pain endured by all involved while frequently interspersed with moments of hope and human warmth. The language is personal and vivid, maintaining the voices and perspectives of those whose stories are shared. The exchanges are often emotional, direct, and loaded with hard-earned wisdom.

Summary

"Three Little Birds" delivers a poignant exploration of pain, revelation, and human bonds tested by the ultimate betrayals. Through Caroline and Suzanne’s sagas, listeners witness parallel journeys of heartbreak and recovery. The inclusion of listener stories extends the narrative beyond one marriage or one department, revealing systemic patterns of betrayal and institutional failure. Yet, the episode closes by focusing not on the abusers, but on those surviving and supporting one another—finding hope, humor, and triumph in the smallest of things. The “three little birds” family mantra emerges as a symbol of resilience and the promise that, while the pain may never fully disappear, there is healing in togetherness and truth.