← Betrayal Trauma Recovery
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Hi everyone. I wanted to share some exciting updates about what's been going on at Betrayal Trauma Recovery and then get real with you about some challenges we're facing. First, the good news. We've expanded our group sessions to better support women worldwide. I've always wanted to do this and I'm so excited we were able to make it happen. We now have live sessions three times a week at 8pm Sydney time. So for all you women listening in Australia, thanks for your support. These same group sessions are 10:00am Central European Time for North American listeners. In my time they're at 2am, which is perfect for when you have stress induced insomnia. For women in Hawaii and Alaska, 11pm and for women in Japan at 6pm we have live group sessions every single day, multiple times a day. And my goal is to keep expanding till there's never more than a two or three hour gap between sessions anywhere in the world. To see how many sessions are available per day in your time zone, go to btr.org group. We'd love to see you in a session today. Now the challenges doing this podcast. I've always faced opposition and lately the pushback has felt otherworldly. Here's what's been going on. I'm assuming it's abusive men that are systematically reporting our posts on Facebook and Instagram as spam. Many advocates have let me know that they try to link posts to our website and those links are being immediately removed by the meta bots. When I first started years ago, I trademarked Betrayal Trauma Recovery. And even though we're the largest betrayal trauma community in the world with over 93,000 followers on Facebook, when I Google the four words betrayal, trauma, Recovery, Facebook, we don't appear on the first page of Google search results. That's crazy. The same thing is happening on Apple podcasts where women aren't able to see it. It's not coming up in their algorithms. Here's just another example. This week, 43 podcast audio fil randomly disappeared. That's almost an entire year of my podcast that suddenly disappeared. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, every day I wake up and there's another huge problem. I'm trying to keep up the best I can with each problem as it comes, but I really need your help. Here are some things you could do if you're on Facebook. Visit our page Betrayal Trauma Recovery and engage with our posts. Simple comments like Amen or even just posting an emoji make a big difference. It's been amazing to see so many women connecting and supporting each other in the comments of our posts on Facebook and Instagram or even YouTube. I think the abusive men are rallying the troops inside of Reddit. If you use the Living Free strategies, you'll know that it's not safe to interact with these abusive men online. However, there are also a lot of betrayal trauma threads where women are discussing narcissistic abuse or trying to find out why their husband is angry, or asking what they should do now that they've discovered their husband's lies on Reddit that aren't necessarily posts where abusive men are interacting. So Reddit's a great place to be anonymous and talk about your experience and how much this podcast or the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coaches or the BTR workshops have helped you. So many women are grateful for when someone told them about Betrayal Trauma recovery and you really could be the answer to someone's prayers. So as always, an anonymous way to help is to follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or or any of your favorite podcasting apps and leave a five star review. If you wouldn't mind right now talking to your sister or your mom or your friends, even if they don't listen, if they've got the app on their phone, just go to this podcast and ask them to follow it. The more followers we have, the more we show up in that algorithm and then women can start finding us again. And of course, at a time like this, I also need your support financially. We had one large donation come through a couple months ago and that helped so, so much. Thank you so much to whoever made that donation. Any contribution helps to support this podcast financially. Go to btr.org, scroll to the bottom and click on Support the Podcast. I'm excited about the future of btr. Despite all of the challenges we've had, my focus is still you. I care about women all over the world. No matter what you believe, whether you're a Christian or of another faith, whether you're agnostic or atheist, BTR is a united community of women who are healing from the pain of betrayal and learning to protect ourselves. Together we can fight back against these forces trying to silence us. Thank you so much for being part of this journey with me. Your help and your prayers and your good vibes carry me today and they've carried me the whole time I've been doing this. I'm so grateful for your support. Thank you so much. We have a very special episode today. Victims of betrayal trauma in relationships are sharing their stories about what helped them heal, what helped them process Their betrayal trauma work through their difficult emotions and get the answers that they needed that they've never been able to get anywhere else. Answers to questions like how do I set a boundary that actually keeps me safe? Or how do I co parent with my ex husband when he keeps gaslighting me and the kids. Whether you're married or thinking about separation or you're never going to separate, you need answers for your specific situation. And it's hard to find these answers in therapy or with clergy because they just don't understand emotional and psychological abuse. So these victims are going to share how they felt when they went to Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions here@BTR.org hi.
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This group is new to me. I have been going through not a Good Place for about three years and this is the first time that I have had other people share their stories where I felt so validated I could totally relate. This isn't just me. I'm not going crazy. I can stand my ground and create boundaries to keep myself safe, to keep my kids safe and have multiple daily options to check in, check out, share, not share. Listen. The isolation that I felt before is starting to dissipate. Well, I found BTR through the Instagram posts. Just realizing that's me. Those things are about me. They help me. When I decided to join group, it was like finally having the place where everything in my life that didn't make sense made sense because there could be words put to it. I wasn't alone. To be able to literally like put the voices from group in my ears and be able to hear that as things are happening in my life, it's just been life changing. It's been a great support. BTR groups and individual sessions, they have all been an amazing space for me to be able to find safety, encouragement and support. BTR has helped me and continues to help me as I'm still in this process to be reminded that I'm not crazy and that there is a cycle of abuse and I can watch for the signs and I can check in with myself and check in with my body. I'm grateful to have this community. It's been really important to help me be able to recover and I look forward to recovering more. Betrayal trauma recovery has been life changing for me. I've been able to share my feelings. I've been able to share my story. I've had not only the coaches help through guiding my own path because the coaches don't tell me how to choose to live or choose to recover or how to grow with my Husband, but it's more of a guidance. The fact that I'm able to hear other stories is amazing. I don't feel alone. I feel like the knowledge of what other women have gone through, I feel like that has taught me to grow because it doesn't have to be the same scenario. It's just knowing what they've done at different chapters of my recovery has allowed me to make my decisions. I look forward to it every time I'm on here. I find it to be very affordable. And actually, my counselor pissed me off one day. He had said, well, you know, women's groups, they like to tell each other what to do, and that leads to divorce. And I was just like, that's not true. You guys definitely don't lead us to make decisions that would cause anyone to choose divorce. That's a huge thing for me because I've heard other places or counselors do that. I definitely recommend BTR to everyone. My husband was in recovery and having all of these meetings each week and having all the help he needs and counseling, and I felt like I was being left out in the dark. I was at the end of my row, so I started searching for something to help me. I found btr. I decided that's what would be best for me. So I started attending the group. I have found that having this group has been the best thing that ever happened to me. It has taught me what self care means. It's taught me a lot of things about Gaslighting and Darvo and things I'd never heard of before. They've helped me through a lot of really hard situations. The group has been so supportive. The women are amazing. Everyone has their own story to tell, but each person gets validation and support that they need and feedback from the coaches as well as each other. It's been great to know that I'm not alone in this, that there's other women who have struggled the same as I have and that I can be there to support them and they can be there to support me. This group, I lean on it a lot when I'm going through hard times and I don't understand everything that's happening with my addict. They help clarify situations for me and give me options. They also give me a place to share and I feel like it's safe and I'm not being judged. And I just want to let others know how wonderful the BTR group has been for me. And I would recommend it for anyone who is going through betrayal trauma so they can learn and grow. I feel like I've learned and grown from the first time I started attending to this day. I've learned self worth. I've learned what self care is, things that I didn't even understand when I first started this group. So I just want to thank all the coaches, everyone. I just wanted to say that I have been in therapy for 12 years and only now have I felt that I have the expert care and clarity that I have been searching for for 12 years. You are what I call in this whole group proactive. Where before it was just wishy washy, hit or miss, psychobabbly type of therapy. This is exactly what women like this group needs and I cannot thank you enough. I really appreciate how you validated everybody first by listening and then by encouraging them in their own insights and giving them permission to do and be whatever they needed to at that moment. I have not experienced that with counseling though. I've been through a lot. It's been a trial and so I recognize the uniqueness of it and it's just amazing. I arrived at BTR in full blown trauma, never having known what he was doing for years and prior to we were married and thank God that this is the place that I found because there was love and nurturing and education and somebody, all coaches, friends to walk with me and support me and I will forever be grateful. I had been in therapy for a while, years and at least a year with Chuck before I found btr and there were no breakthroughs or anything. It was just the same cycle of now that I know what it is, it was the same cycle of abuse happening over and over and over again with no real solution. When I found btr, I honestly was trying to find reasons in my head as to why the group wouldn't be good for me because I, I knew it was going to change everything about my life. And it did because I joined the group right before I initially separated from Chuck. So having BTR during that time of separation got me through. I wouldn't be here and be growing the way that I am without btr. BTR has been very important for me through this journey. I can just very succinctly say that it has saved my life. I would say just simply that without ptr, I wouldn't be here probably for years. I would always search like we'd have fights and I would go to the Internet to find out how I could be better so that we could stop having fights. And article after article was never right. I just knew. And finally one day I stumbled upon the BTR podcast And I don't really like listening to them, I like to read them. So I'm thankful for the transcript. And I finally knew that what I was reading was right. And when I had a name for what was going on in my marriage, I could finally start to work to fix it. And fixing it has meant not what I thought it would. And it has saved my life too. So without btr, I wouldn't have a name for what I experienced and I wouldn't have a place to to live after the healing, I didn't ever think that I would be in the position that I'm in. I was with my ex fiance from the age of 13 for 20 years and I had no idea that he was living a double life. I found BTR when I was staying in hotels, I had nowhere else to go and I booked a one on one with a coach and I haven't looked back. I have learned so much and tomorrow is my one year anniversary of having left my ex partner. And every single day that I hop on group I see women that I am inspired by and women who are ahead of me in the journey and women who are following me on the journey and we're all on different journeys but somehow the connection that we have and the love that we share is really real. So thank you so much. I don't know what I would have done without BTR. For the last 12 months I found BTR to be really helpful. The groups are really helpful at connecting with other people, going through this and not feeling alone and recognizing that there are lots of actually super capable, strong, determined people experiencing abuse at different stages along the way. And I found the group sessions to be really helpful and the podcast really nice just to like listen to and understand broader patterns and trends. And I wish people didn't have to find this on their own. And I'm really glad BTR exists. Discovery was in 2011 of sex addiction. There's just no support out there for women other than the groups that are available in that realm. And my therapist of many years never mentioned the word abuse. I felt like I was duped as I got into btr. I learned so much education from the coaches. I was terrified with learning disabilities. Think I could never do this. I could never ever, ever be free from a covert narcissist. And I have moved twice across state and also an alienation from my daughter as I'm going through all this. The post separation abuse was just heinous. And since then with the help of btr, through this process and as I am safe in my new place. I'm now starting to process it even more because I had been so busy going through all the process of divorce and everything else and due to all the coaches and the love and support allowed me to have such great strength and realizing I am worth it. I am enough. BTR is a lifesaver and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You helped save my life and I am now free and I am now safe. I feel like being in BTR groups has been an opportunity for me to create some routine in my life, like something I can do every single day. That has created some structure and support in the life that I currently have, which is very chaotic and unpredictable and challenging. And I genuinely feel like I like meeting with all the coaches because they have different perspectives. Each coach like has a different vibe. That's really helpful. It's been great. I'm really happy and I don't think I'm going to stop anytime soon. A really beautiful community of women who've been doing it for a long time. It's really cool to see those connections and to be building them. I've been through this for over 30 years of dealing with this in my life and I've been in BTR for five months. My life has changed more in the last five months than all of those years that I went through. And I so appreciate the coaches. Just the clarity that has helped me through a lot of individual sessions, group sessions and all of the coaches. Everyone has something different and all the shares help you understand other ways to do self care and stay safe. And I really appreciate btr. I can't say enough about it. It's changed my life. BTR was literally an answer to prayer for me. After disclosure, I really didn't know what to think about my situation. After almost 30 years being with my husband, I felt like I was brainwashed. I didn't know what to do and I prayed and I did a Google search and I found the podcast and it literally changed my life. After a year, I feel so much more empowered and connected and validated. I have so much clarity on the trauma that I had been going through and everything just started to make sense since I'm a completely different person than I was a year ago. I just love this group.
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If this podcast is helpful to you, please help us reach other women by following or subscribing and giving us a five star rating. Thank you for helping other women find us. If you've already purchased a copy of my book Trauma Mama Husband Drama, please circle back and give it a five star rating. A lot of women are searching for books about betrayal trauma on Amazon and rating trauma. Mama will help them find this podcast which is free to everyone. Your donations keep this podcast going. Go to our website btr.org, scroll to the bottom, click on support the BTR podcast and until next week, stay safe out there.