Podcast Summary: Divorce And Emotional Abuse – Felicia Checks In 9 Months Later
Podcast: Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Host: Anne Blythe, M.Ed.
Guest: Felicia
Date: September 9, 2025
Overview
This episode features a follow-up interview with Felicia, who previously shared her journey through divorce and emotional abuse. Nine months after her last appearance, Felicia returns to discuss her progress, focusing on the challenges of post-divorce isolation, legal abuse, recovery strategies, and the ongoing impact of community responses. The conversation centers around regaining confidence, finding genuine support, and healing from trauma with the aid of Betrayal Trauma Recovery (BTR) resources and strategies.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Aftermath of Divorce and Community Betrayal
- Felicia describes the shock of losing community support:
- “I thought my whole community were supporting me. So it was like the bottom dropped out when I did get the divorce and my ex managed to turn everybody against me.” (02:40)
- She reflects on how Christian teachings affected her self-perception:
- “In Christianity you learn you can't be the only right person. So you need your community to help tell you if you're wrong. If everybody says you're wrong, you probably are. And that just wasn't the case.” (03:13)
- Finding strength to stand alone:
- “Integrity is when you are right and have to stand alone. And that's actually what I was doing.” (03:30)
2. Healing Through BTR Meditations and the Living Free Workshop
- Felicia credits BTR workshops and meditations for shifting her perspective and restoring confidence:
- “The BTR meditations give me truth that I think about and meditate on… And that's what I've done. I have my confidence back. I feel like my brain is healthy for the first time in a really long time.” (03:57)
- “They were all centered around the truth about who I am as a person. And they really helped me because the thing that I needed the most was the truth in the meditations about who I am.” (04:48)
- Anne echoes the power of self-acceptance:
- “Women don't need to change or be anything different. Who they are right now is good enough, is exactly who they need to be.” (05:11)
- Felicia reinforces this message:
- “Women need to learn about how beautiful they already are. The only thing that needs to change is for them to realize the truth about themselves.” (05:20)
3. Rebuilding Support Networks
- Felicia’s journey to finding new, authentic community:
- “I just kept going to this church, and it's really small, and they're like older women.… And they have seen me be a mom, and they think I'm really good.… I realized I still had lifelong friends that I just hadn't kept up with. And now I'm realizing how many people I have. But more importantly, the depth of support that they've brought me.” (05:40 - 06:32)
- Coming to terms with the loss of “friends”:
- “I really wish that they would have not left me and supported my ex who was abusive… Now I'm able to fully realize how unfriendly they were. Really my enemies.” (07:16)
- Felicia shares relief as former antagonists leave her life:
- “They just happen to all be moving out of town now, which is awesome. I can't believe that happened.” (07:59)
4. Ongoing Legal Abuse and Gaining Empowerment
- Felicia details escalation of legal abuse post-divorce:
- “Since the divorce, he immediately started legal pursuit, and it was hard because his abuse was always hidden, and he got more aggressive.” (09:41)
- Learning not to appease the abuser:
- “Before I did the Living free workshop, I tried to give him what he wanted so that he would leave me alone. And then I found out you don't give an abuser what they want so they'll leave you alone. They're bullies, and they're always going to just make it worse.” (10:10)
- Finding legal validation and reclaiming agency:
- “The judge really surprised me… and my lawyer told me, do what's best for your family, and that's all you need to do.… It was that statement that started to make me feel free again.” (10:40 - 11:22)
5. The Nature of Healing and Safety
- Surprise at healing:
- “I was just like striving and all of a sudden it just came, attributed to God.… I just want people to be encouraged. You can be trying to heal, trying to heal, and then all of a sudden it will come.” (12:20)
- Anne states safety is core to healing:
- “The healing comes when we're validated. And when we're safe, the safety is the healing.” (13:16)
- Justice and safety as instant healing:
- “If your ex moved… and never talked to you again, that is instant healing.” (13:44)
- On advice to victims:
- “People who say, you just need to learn how to deal with it… I'm like, no, she just needs to not be abused anymore.” (13:54)
6. Practical Strategies in the Interim
- Felicia describes tools and routines:
- “I enrolled in Living Free. I did the meditations. It's actually an app, and I'm just dancing every day… I try to dance for 10 minutes a day. Everything, little by little, is helping.” (15:19 - 15:32)
- “I am still waiting for him to finally de escalate. But, yeah, I do use the Living Free strategies exclusively.… I go back to them like, let's see, how am I supposed to respond to this right now? And it is helpful.” (18:14)
- Understanding the abuser’s need to exploit:
- Anne explains, “The Living Free strategies are how to be unexploitable, which does escalate them for a second because they're like, wait, wait, wait. I was using her for this, and now I can't use her anymore. But then eventually, there's nothing for them to hold on to.” (17:43)
- Felicia notes her strategies:
- “I only use those because they are so helpful.” (18:18)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “I had to find where I was and cheer myself on because integrity is when you are right and have to stand alone.” – Felicia (03:30)
- “I have my confidence back. I feel like my brain is healthy for the first time in a really long time.” – Felicia (04:04)
- “The thing that I needed the most was the truth in the meditations about who I am.” – Felicia (04:59)
- “You don't give an abuser what they want so they'll leave you alone. They're bullies, and they're always going to just make it worse.” – Felicia (10:13)
- “The healing comes when we're validated. And when we're safe, the safety is the healing.” – Anne (13:16)
- “Justice is a form of instant healing.” – Anne (13:44)
- “There's nothing wrong with us. We're just being abused.” – Anne (14:09)
- “The healthier I got, the more distant we became. And that's exactly what's happening now. I found myself.” – Felicia (16:23)
- “The Living Free strategies are how to be unexploitable.” – Anne (17:43)
- “I do use the Living Free strategies exclusively. That's the only thing I use to communicate with him. It was life changing.” – Felicia (18:14)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:00–02:24 — Introduction, importance of information, support, and strategy
- 02:25–05:11 — Felicia’s update on isolation after divorce; loss and rediscovery of self-confidence
- 05:12–07:59 — Building a new support network; realization about past friendships
- 08:00–09:41 — Relief from toxic individuals leaving; ongoing legal abuse
- 09:42–11:22 — New legal strategies; empowerment through professional and community support
- 11:54–13:16 — Surprised by healing; God’s role and internal transformation
- 13:17–15:18 — Anne and Felicia discuss safety, validation, and the reality of abusive situations
- 15:19–16:44 — Living Free routines, dance, and medication as self-care
- 16:45–18:37 — Understanding abuser tactics; importance and effect of Living Free strategies
Closing Notes
Felicia’s journey over the past nine months demonstrates the complex process of healing after emotional abuse and divorce. Through community, affirming meditations, legal empowerment, and ongoing support from BTR, Felicia has moved from isolation and self-doubt to confidence and resilience. Her story offers hope and practical insights for anyone recovering from betrayal trauma, emphasizing that safety, truth, and unyielding self-acceptance are the foundations of true healing.