Better Offline: CES 2026 – Part Five (Wednesday)

Podcast: Better Offline
Host: Ed Zitron (Cool Zone Media, iHeartPodcasts)
Guests: Carissa Bell (Engadget), Jared Newman (Advisorator), Robert Evans (Behind The Bastards), Chloe Radcliffe (comedian/actress), Adam Conover (Factually), Edward Ongweso Jr. (Tech Bubble)
Air Date: January 8, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode delivers a punchy, skeptical, and highly entertaining look at the state of consumer technology from the floor of CES 2026 in Las Vegas. With a roundtable of journalists, comics, and industry veterans, host Ed Zitron and guests dissect the parade of driverless dreams, questionable robots, and vaporware flooding the expo. The crew mixes biting jokes with incisive industry analysis, zeroing in on the gap between tech industry hype and real-world usefulness—plus rare praise where it’s due.

Key Themes & Discussion Points

1. Laundry-Folding Robots & Vaporware Robotics (03:36–17:30)

• LG “Cloid”: A slow, humanoid laundry-folding robot that attracted crowds but is unlikely to ever be sold. Described by Carissa Bell as hilariously slow and more spectacle than substance, with awkward folding failures and human intervention needed to fix mistakes.

  • Carissa Bell (04:03): “One of the top comments was, ‘it’ll take three weeks to do your laundry at this pace.’”
  • The demo more theme park than product: “It felt like watching something at Disneyland... high production value, super charismatic presenter.” (06:15)
  • Critiques on practicality and marketability: Robots as headline-grabbers, but actual appliances (like auto-opening fridges) are what LG will sell. LG’s robot likely locked in “LG prison.”

• Switchbot’s Laundry Robot: Even slower, failed to fold anything despite prepped demos—again exposing robotics’ limitations.

  • Jared Newman (11:00): “It stood there for like five minutes doing nothing, then very slowly picked up one piece of laundry... and didn’t fold any.”
  • Panel lampoons the idea of robots that mimic human procrastination or “heavy sigh before doing laundry” (12:39), drawing parallels to household drama.

• Broader Problem with CES Robotics: The "year of the robot" is called out as mostly bluster—very few robots actually work, and those that do, do little of value.

  • Ed Zetron (16:09): “It’s becoming clear: the robots are here, but are they able to do anything? Yes, kind of. But slowly.”

2. Robots, Gimmicks, and Practicality (17:24–24:46)

• Humanoid vs. Practical Designs: Chloe Radcliffe floats the idea that ditching humanoid forms could help solve the folding problem—perhaps a “giant tube” concept (17:34).
• Physical Challenges: Jared Newman notes real technical hurdles—garment variety complicates robotic folding; there’s no solution in sight except possibly non-humanoid innovation.
• Evaluation of Tech: Praise is rare but genuine when tech meets real needs—like robot exoskeleton sneakers aiding mobility (22:33).
  • Ed Zetron (24:46): “I think that’s what technology is meant to do... to allow you to do things you can’t do, to streamline things, to make things easier.”

3. CES Hits & Misses: Honest Praise Amid Gimmick Fatigue (18:56–46:38)

• Gadgets That Impressed:

  • Pebble’s Return (19:03): Pebble’s new smartwatch and the “Index” note-taking ring get nods for passion, design, and practical value over hype. The ring can record and/or transcribe voice notes—useful for note-takers.
    • “These people that... just want this thing to exist and they put it into existence.” (Jared Newman, 19:03)
  • “Robotic Sneakers”: Battery-powered exoskeleton shoes designed for mobility-impaired users, and praised for actually addressing a real, tangible problem—$4,500 price surprisingly deemed “reasonable” given use-case.

• Smart Home Tech:

  • IKEA’s new line of smart bulbs and plugs: lauded for reliable, large-scale production and likely stability, unlike failure-prone off-brand IoT products (44:29).
  • “The product I want from CES is shit that just works—and they don’t care.” (Ed Zetron, 46:10)

• Robot Vacuums with Legs (Dreamy Vacuum/Cyber X): Seen as a fun concept, but questionably practical—docking stations with moving “legs” can't actually clean stairs themselves; “what’s the point?” moments abound (46:36).

4. AI Slop, Gadgets as ChatGPT Wrappers, and Authenticity Fatigue (40:44–88:15)

• Proliferation of “AI Products”: The majority of new entries are just ChatGPT “wrappers” or chatbot integrations in everything from routers (“you can talk to your router but it won’t really fix anything”) to ovens (“it’ll auto-suggest a pizza recipe and turn the oven on for you”).

  • Jared Newman (87:09): “You could just design a UI that told you that... yet we’re reverting back to technology that communicates with you via a block of text generated by AI.”
  • Robert Evans (88:02): “It’s all just prompt engineering... every AI product you see is just prompts for the API.”

• Digital Companions & Health Integration: Companies like Tuya peddle digital assistant robots that run entire smart homes, recommend workouts/diets, and even generate custom podcasts on request—raising security, privacy, and legitimacy concerns (88:15–91:16).

  • Panel: This data centralization is a “privacy nightmare” and often dangerous when advice is unqualified.
  • Ed Zetron (92:53): “A massive numpty would use Chat GPT health.”

• Real Use vs. AI Vaporware:

  • Translators by “Trans AI” (79:07): Actually impressive—on-device translation and transcription tools, lauded for privacy and usefulness, unlike most voice-AI “assistants.”
  • Robert Evans (79:55): “I want it on device.”

5. Mental Health Robots & the Danger of Hyper-Encouragement (94:43–98:23)

• AI as Therapist?: Panel discusses a serious talk by a clinical therapist—demand for AI therapy is real, but the profit/engagement models directly contradict what therapy requires: “You need pushback. You need critical analysis... not a machine trying to keep you happy so you keep using it.” (Robert Evans, 96:53)
  • Consensus: Genuinely ethical AI therapy may be technically impossible—market pressure will always push toward sleazy, engagement-maximizing designs.

6. Final Roundtable: CES Culture, Industry Disconnect & Favorite Weird Finds (106:26–end)

• Why Does CES Exist?

  • Some consensus emerges: for manufacturers to meet buyers (esp. in OEM/Eureka Park for parts and B2B deals), for journalists to survey the landscape, and as a spectacle of industry direction.
  • Most consumer-facing stuff remains either hype/fake or solutions in search of problems (“robot that folds laundry if you want to wait eight hours, companion donut for your cat,” etc.).

• Best Quotes and Jokes:

  • “You know how your kid doesn’t have a robot hallucinating horoscopes for it? Well, we’ve solved that issue.” (Robert Evans, 130:15)
  • “‘Junky Cream’—that’s the worst product name on the show floor. It looks like... come.” (Ed Zetron, 136:21)
  • “If you’re thinking, ‘I’m going to put a camera in a toilet,’ you’re a fucking scumbag.” (Ed Zetron, 140:10)

• Personal Stories:

  • Chloe and Adam, both CES first-timers, describe the existential whiplash of the event—longing for simple pleasures in contrast to the glitzy, disconnected tech overload.
  • Robert Evans recalls favorite moments: “As a journalist, you learn the value of asking, ‘What’s the point?’ and sometimes breaking the rugged product with consent.”
  • Winning a Waymo beanie becomes Adam’s most useful takeaway: “Waymo has made my life—I became a corporate shill.” (143:00)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• Laundry Robot Demo
  • “It’ll take three weeks to do your laundry at this pace.”
    —Carissa Bell (04:03)
• CES Culture in a Nutshell
  • “This is the one thing I came here to see... how long can I watch a robot NOT fold laundry?”
    —Jared Newman (13:00)
• On Useless Robot Prototypes
  • “It’s the year of the robots... but are they able to do anything? Yes, kind of.”
    —Ed Zetron (16:09)
• AI Slop Problem
  • “Every AI product you see is just prompts for the API... It’s all text.”
    —Ed Zetron (134:11)
• Ethics of AI Therapy
  • “They will always have access to robots that are terrible therapists but make you feel good. Why would anyone use and pay more for a bot that doesn’t?”
    —Robert Evans paraphrasing panelist (97:46)
• Robot Toilet Cam
  • “If you’re thinking, ‘I’m going to put a camera in a toilet,’ you’re a fucking scumbag.”
    —Ed Zetron (140:10)
• Most Useful Product
  • “The only present my boyfriend actually uses every day: plug, cable, and cables. And I’m still the husband!”
    —Chloe Radcliffe (69:50)

Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Laundry robot demo deflation: 03:36–08:32
• Switchbot’s failed laundry demo: 10:55–13:00
• The ‘AI Slop’/ChatGPT wrapper explosion: 40:44–46:38, 87:09–88:15
• Digital assistants, ‘Tuya’ and privacy worries: 88:15–92:53
• Therapy bots panel discussion: 94:43–98:23
• Robot toilet cam & data privacy satire: 137:27–141:26
• Final impressions / Why CES exists?: 126:12–130:56

Tone & Takeaways

The tone is caustic, honest, and comedic, embodying a deep skepticism of the hype-driven culture at CES. Real admiration is reserved for tech that demonstrably helps people—especially in accessibility. Most exhibitors, the hosts conclude, are solving problems that don’t exist, or overhyping slow, broken, or dangerous gimmicks.

The episode closes with stand-up plugs, a heartfelt moment of charity, and one last roll call of embarrassing company names— ensuring listeners get both laughter and sharp, actionable insight into what (doesn’t) matter in 2026’s overflowing gadget landscape.

Want direct, no-bullshit CES reporting? This episode is your must-listen.