Podcast Summary: Better Offline – “CES 2026: Part One (Monday)”

Podcast: Better Offline (Cool Zone Media & iHeartPodcasts)
Date: January 6, 2026
Host: Ed Zitron
Guests/Panelists: Edward Ongueso Jr., David Roth, Matt Binder, Scott Stein, Lisa Edajiko, Robert Evans

Episode Overview

This episode kicks off Better Offline's coverage of the 2026 Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas with Ed Zitron and a rotation of tech writers, journalists, and industry veterans. Across a vibrant discussion, the group analyzes the mood of this year’s CES. They cover the lackluster Nvidia keynote, the prevalence and shallowness of AI and robotics announcements, the bizarre conceptual products dominating the floor, and the ongoing disconnect between Silicon Valley’s aspirations and actual consumer needs. The episode is punctuated with skepticism, biting humor, and exasperation—classic Better Offline style.

Key Themes and Discussion Points

1. Setting The Scene at CES 2026

Timestamp: 01:54–03:07

• Ed welcomes the audience to the second year of Better Offline’s CES coverage, joined by an on-site team.
• The team gathers at the Palazzo Hotel, ready to bring commentary throughout the week, cycling through different guests.
• This year’s CES mood is quickly described as somewhat subdued, riding last year’s AI and “growth-at-all-costs” hangover.

2. Nvidia’s Disappointing Keynote

Timestamp: 03:07–11:30

General Impressions

• Ed Zitron: “I was bored because I did understand.” (03:17)
• David Roth: “You were bored and upset, I was bored and bored. That’s an important distinction.” (03:34)
• The panel attends Jensen Huang’s keynote but finds it devoid of meaningful announcements, rehashing months-old tech (such as the Vera Rubin GPU).
• Huang’s stage presence is described as “a little glum,” lacking the flamboyance of previous years.

Notable Quotes

• David Roth [05:10]: “The idea of going to see him… that’s the most Las Vegas thing I could have done. Same reason people go to Wayne Newton.”
• Ed Zitron [06:13]: “It feels like we’re at the end of something, which is fun. I enjoy that.”

Key Observations

• The Omniverse, Nvidia’s “simulation space for robots,” is ridiculed as a vaporware concept.
• Live demo showing an AI-powered assistant telling a dog to get off a couch devolves into the group riffing on the absurdity (07:30–08:20).
• There’s little in the keynote about meaningful AI advances, despite ongoing market hype.
• Audience response is tepid compared to last year’s frenzy.

Timestamps for Key Moments

• 07:09: “...he connected to a Hugging Face robot that told his dog to get off the couch.”
• 09:33: Return from the keynote, describing the energy as “mildly concussed.”

3. The Shifting Tech Hype Cycle: From Blockchain/Metaverse to Robots & Wearables

Timestamp: 11:30–15:00

• Matt Binder highlights the death of crypto and blockchain buzz on the CES floor, saying, “I’ve seen nothing. Nothing blockchain.”
• AI and robotics are the “big story,” but most implementations are underwhelming and often pointless.
• Notable wearables include gadgets “for Kegels, for edging” and rude AI assistants, poking fun at both novelty and privacy concerns.
• Panel discusses companion devices—like AI necklaces or rude wearables—as amusing but ultimately frivolous.

Notable Quotes

• Edward Ongueso Jr. [14:33]: “I love it when AI is rude to me.”
• Matt Binder [15:16]: “Every AI we’re going to talk about, they all seem good compared to what Elon Musk’s Grok is doing right now.”

4. The Grok/AI Pornography Scandal and Regulatory Breakdown

Timestamp: 15:16–22:53

• The group laments Elon Musk’s Grok language model being used to create child sexual abuse material (CSAM)—highlighting tech’s inability (or unwillingness) to implement guardrails.
• Panelists express incredulity at the ongoing regulatory inaction despite the gravity and clear illegality of the content being generated.
• Anecdotes from Reddit and X (Twitter) showcase the warped, reactive user base and Musk’s own online behavior.

Notable Quotes

• Ed Zitron [16:05]: “Elon Musk is just burning billions ($$) for the most wretched perverts in the world.”
• David Roth [18:40]: “The fact that this has been going on for two weeks makes me feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.”

5. Lego’s “Smart Brick” & The Limits of ‘Innovation’

Timestamp: 22:53–31:09

• The LEGO CES debut: “Smart Bricks" with sensors that respond to motion, orientation, and play—allowing interactive, sound-enabled features.
• Panel debates whether this is a positive or a needless over-techification of kids’ toys.
• Examples include the LEGO plane that “screams” when flipped upside-down and Star Wars play sets as flagship launches.

Notable Quotes

• Matt Binder [26:34]: “...If you run your LEGO character over with a car, there’ll be sound effects...”
• Edward Ongueso Jr. [27:03]: “If you told me as a child my Bionicle would be better with a computer, I would have set it on fire.”

6. Wearables and the “New” Smart Glasses Craze

Timestamp: 33:22–51:13

XREAL, Meta Raybans, and “Vacation Glasses”

• Scott Stein discusses the evolution of smart glasses, focusing on display quality and practicability.
• Most “AI” features remain gimmicky or provide little value to regular users.
• Vacation/weekend use for video and calls are emerging as niche cases, but battery life and social awkwardness remain barriers.

Notable Quotes

• Ed Zitron [40:03]: “I like the idea of a pop-up screen, but even when you’re alone, it’s embarrassing.”
• David Roth [43:20]: “A couple of red lines in technology I’m just simply not gonna be comfortable using... I’m not a young man.”

The Headphone AI Assistant Prototype (Razer)

• Razer showcases “smart headphones” as an alternative to glasses—can translate menus in real-time via a built-in camera.
• Again, the group questions real-world utility versus manufactured executive travel use cases for these features.

General Panel Vibe

• Skepticism and fatigue at how much of CES is focused on marginally “improved” or copycat hardware with unnecessary AI bolted on.

7. The Disconnect between Tech Fantasy and Human Need

Timestamp: 51:13–63:56

• Lots of AI UX stories revolve around “solving” problems that do not exist—such as using AI to identify a tree, pick a dinner recipe, or tell you what’s in your fridge.
• Most demos seem designed for executives who don’t do their own shopping or cooking, further highlighting the Silicon Valley bubble.

8. Oddball & ‘Weird Tech’ on the Floor

Timestamp: 65:13–90:00

• Cherished annual tradition for panelists: seeking out the weirdest CES gadgets.
• This year, the “weird” is hard to find—tech has gotten less visually spectacular, and more focused on unsexy or incremental robotics, baby monitors, or incremental “lifestyle” add-ons.
• Examples: chess-playing robots, vibrating knives, self-massaging chairs, ankle monitors for babies (“to optimize sleep schedules”), exoskeleton demos.

9. The Perennial CES Gimmicks

Timestamp: 80:41–90:00

• Recycling of failed ideas from previous years: laundry-folding robots, perennial “smart” appliances, and exoskeletons.
• Many companies are repeat-attendees who never move past the prototype stage, seemingly existing just to have a presence at CES.

10. Samsung’s Tri-Fold Phone Hands-On

Timestamp: 96:40–100:46

• Lisa Edajiko reviews Samsung’s trifold phone concept—cool on the surface, but lacking “a compelling reason to want this bigger screen that folds up and fits in your pocket.”
• Group discusses hardware stagnation and the desperate search for a breakthrough that justifies expensive upgrades.

Notable Quotes

• Ed Zitron [98:24]: “You can like things sometimes.”
• Lisa Edajiko [99:27]: “It just didn’t feel as different as I thought it would.”

11. AI Overreach: The Nano Banana Meme

Timestamp: 101:39–109:41

• The panel riffs hilariously on Google deploying its “Nano Banana” LLM image generator—now literally built into TVs.
• Widespread eye-rolling at the concept of using generative AI on your television, or AI voice controls for opening your fridge.
• Larger point: “Innovation” now often serves no human need, remaining an inside joke for the industry.

Notable Quotes

• Ed Zitron [106:24]: “I’m not going to upgrade my TV until it breaks... The TV companies are sitting there just being like—because there really isn’t [a reason].”
• David Roth [109:55]: “There’s an Eminem verse in there somewhere...”

12. Panel Fun: Pets, Vibing with the Weird, and Vape Tamagotchis

Timestamp: 121:41–123:18

• Amusing asides: the rise of pet robots with “needs”; vape pens with Tamagotchi-style digital pets you must “keep alive” by continuing to vape.
• A running theme: CES is shifting further and further away from grounded, useful invention.

13. Exoskeletons: A Rare Glimpse of Real Utility

Timestamp: 129:28–136:53

• Robert Evans tries out the HyperShell exoskeleton, evaluating it for genuine benefits.
• He contrasts the utility for industrial/therapeutic uses with the rest of CES’s often-pointless product launches.
• Ed Zitron [136:53]: “This is strangely useful. I’m just not used to [that at CES].”

14. Final Thoughts: Fatigue, Disillusionment, and “Obtrusive Stuff”

Timestamp: 136:53–end

• Panel closes by reflecting: even the most valuable computational advances (like protein folding) are being oversold, mis-marketed, or under-explained.
• Widespread frustration that “AI” is being jammed into everything, including Microsoft Office (now rebranded Copilot) and Google Assistant.
• Tech giant strategies now create “software that’s deliberately annoying.”

Notable Quotes

• Robert Evans [157:30]: “Every big player in consumer technology now has attained the exact vibes of a guy you’d cover your drink around. This constant pressure… I’ve said no so many times, and you're not at all listening.”
• Ed Zitron [158:53]: “I don’t need the TV to generate images. Are you sure? I’m watching the television.”

Most Memorable Moments and Quotes

• On Nvidia’s Keynote:
  “He was as shiny and bouffant as I’d hoped, but the energy just wasn’t there.” – David Roth [05:08]

• On Grok Generating CSAM:
  “People are paying $40 a month to access... Elon Musk’s creation is literally creating this en masse... And no one’s stopping it.” – Matt Binder [19:06]

• On Wearables:
  “If I walked around with these, not only would I look like a bell end—which isn’t a huge change—but…” – Ed Zitron [44:48]

• On the Tech Industry’s Ethos:
  “What if we removed the friction? Well—what if we added friction?” – Ed Zitron [62:15]

• On Tech Executive Worldviews:
  “Have you ever existed?” – Ed Zitron (on what he’d ask a product manager) [61:41]

• On CES Gimmicks:
  “I think this is the year folks!” – Ed Zitron, parodying laundry-folding robot reps [81:06]

• On Annoying Rebranding:
  “It is so cool. We now have software that’s deliberately annoying.” – Ed Zitron [157:42]

Running Jokes and Panel Tone

• Searing sarcasm towards AI-integration, especially “Nano Banana.”
• Recurring bits about dog robots, exoskeleton aspirations, vape pets, and TV companies’ fight for relevance.
• Good-natured cultural ribbing (accents, sports, British/American/Italian jokes).
• Open advocacy for practical, assistive tech vs. faith in hyped “growth.”

Useful Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:07 – Begin of Nvidia Keynote discussion
• 15:16 – Elon Musk’s Grok scandal & content policy
• 22:53 – LEGO Smart Brick segment
• 33:22 – Smart glasses/wearables segment
• 65:13 – “Weird tech” and CES oddball gadgets
• 96:40 – Samsung Tri-Fold phone review
• 101:39 – Nano Banana (TV AI image gen) digression
• 121:41 – Robot pets and vape Tamagotchis
• 129:28 – Robert Evans tries exoskeleton
• 136:53 – On the culture of CES and final big picture

Conclusion

Better Offline’s CES 2026: Part One is a brisk, biting look at an industry struggling for new ideas and real consumer value. The team’s deep experience, wit, and unfiltered skepticism cut through the show’s hype, making this episode an essential guide to what’s hype, what’s hope, and what’s just laughably unnecessary at the world’s biggest electronics showcase. Whether you missed the episode or want to relive the best bits, this summary highlights the skeptical fun, industry in-jokes, and trenchant commentary straight from the Vegas show floor.