Better Offline: CES 2026 - Part Seven (Thursday)

Podcast: Better Offline
Host(s): Ed Zitron & Guests (Chloe Radcliffe, Garrison Davis, Rob Pegoraro, Robert Evans, Edward Ongweso Jr., Weston Lee, others)
Date: January 9, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode continues Better Offline’s on-the-ground exploration of the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) 2026 in Las Vegas. Ed Zitron and a rotating cast of guests offer a lively, critical, and often comedic deconstruction of the wildest, most hyped, and sometimes most pointless tech innovations (and non-innovations) on the floor. Beyond the gadgets, the conversation dives into socioeconomic undercurrents, labor, tech industry delusions, automation’s implications, and the diminishing sense of excitement at what was once the world’s most mind-blowing tech showcase.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The State (and Weirdness) of CES 2026

• Panel agrees: CES feels “off” this year—smaller, less ambitious, and in many ways hollowed out.
• The absence of major players like Nikon, Canon, and Samsung on the physical show floor is notable (13:40).
• Big booths replaced by enterprise products, software, and sparse, uninspiring displays.
• More national pavilions from various countries have moved out of the usual basement zones, suggesting a shift in priorities and exhibitors (15:09).

Quote:
“I get this weird feeling about this show that something is up. Something is really weird to see. Doesn't feel right... There's a chunk of a casino just with nothing there, no tables open.” – Ed (14:34)

2. Cloyd the Home Assistant Robot & The ‘Year of Robots’

• Garrison Davis describes LG's demo of “Cloyd,” their large, slow, expensive, and generally underwhelming home robot assistant.
  • “It just moves your keys somewhere else if you lose them... Which seems like a machine that just makes you lose your keys.” (04:21)
  • Fails basic tasks (taking 90 seconds to load a single shirt into a washing machine; can't finish folding a towel after two minutes) (05:16).
  • Regular jokes about how presenters claim “Cloyd knows exactly how I want my towels folded,” even if the task is done poorly (07:06).
• Robot relies on observing your habits, possibly through visual recognition, but much of its operation (and usefulness) remains nebulous (12:03).
• General skepticism: The robot is physically present but nowhere near a real consumer product (11:17).

Quote:
“I feel like it's irresponsible for anyone to report on Cloyd as if it's real. Like it’s real in the sense it's physically there, but this is not something that can be purchased or is sold or even does the very simple thing.” – Ed (11:17)

3. Robotics, Gadgets, and the Mush of Mediocrity

• The show is saturated with unremarkable automation: “janky” robots, endless chatbot integrations, and a general lack of “whimsy” or playfulness that once characterized CES.
• Compared to previous years, there are fewer actual TVs and interesting home consumer tech, and more abstract or industrial-focused exhibitions (14:49).
• “The natural endpoint of CES: half of this shit’s never going to exist anyway. Man, fuck it. Just connect it to the magic API thing and then, product please invest.” – Ed (56:13)
• Chloe Radcliffe and other panelists long for weird, fun, wild ideas—even if half-baked.
• Humanoid robots are mostly expensive labor gimmicks, with questionable use-cases and a hard-to-shake connection to the concept of servitude (see “robots as slaves” discussion, 125:04).

4. A Bright Spot: Assistive Exoskeletons

• The “Hypershell” exoskeleton is praised for actual utility—enhancing mobility for people with injuries or physical limitations (25:00).
• Discussion of modes (eco, hyper, experimental “fitness” resistance) and robust battery life (30:18).
• Garrison enjoys trolling a colleague by remotely switching exosuit modes (26:50).
• Panel agrees: genuine utility gadgets are rare but deeply appreciated.

Quote:
“With so much useless shit here, a way to help people walk feels almost like the platonic ideal of CES, other than a giant television.” – Ed (28:21)

5. Panels, Tariffs, Manufacturing Realities, and Policy

• Brief detour into US manufacturing, tariffs, and their (lack of) impact: Outsourcing continues, jobs are not coming back, and most components needed for tech aren’t made in the USA (50:06).
• Politicians are out of touch; most actions are performative rather than policy-driven.
• Data centers provoke local opposition due to environmental impacts, and the panel discusses how Big Tech (and AI companies like OpenAI) externalize costs onto communities (52:01).
• “Property tax revenue for counties ... but there's no benefit for people nearby. They don't generate jobs. You don't get faster Internet because you have a data center one street away.” – Rob Pegoraro (53:23)

6. Labor, Tech Privilege, and Economic Anxiety

• Powerful discussion about socio-economic divides in tech:
  • Story of a recently laid-off restaurant worker turned Uber driver spotlights the precarity and indignity faced by workers (61:23).
  • Panel reflects on how many in tech come from privileged backgrounds and often lack empathy for labor—the actual people who make daily life possible (65:09).
• Chloe: “A lot of people who work in tech didn’t grow up in depressed areas…or under the poverty line.”
• Ed: “If you don’t respect service workers, you’re not welcome on this fucking show.” (68:06)
• Concerns raised over Vegas’s broader economic signals (like declining tourism, restaurant layoffs), seeing them as indicative of bigger industry trends (68:07).

7. Whimsy, Play, and Tech's Lost Heart

• Long-time CES participants mourn the loss of fun, silly, or out-there displays—like Angry Birds parties, wild E3 stunts, and “science fair for grownups” energy (75:03).
• Now, CES is “a sexless goon cave...doing stuff for the sake of doing with no level of self-effacing.”
• The “year of robots” pitch is called out as marketing hype: Most robots are pointless, slow, and not for sale (87:57).
• The only “whimsy” comes from a children’s robot that dances like Michael Jackson, then is hilariously beaten with a stick in its demo—and survives. (135:23)

Quote:
“The lack of whimsy is just very sad because the whole thing about tech is it should be kind of fun. It is kind of... Especially for something like this where it’s for consumers, but it’s like we’re trying some shit out.” – Ed (78:20)

8. Automation, “Robot Slaves,” and Historical Resonance (w/ Edward Ongweso Jr.)

• Discussion on the deep-rooted cultural desire for “robots as servants/slaves” and how automation is historically linked to social organization and the legacy of slavery (125:33).
• The group notes the difference between a machine that simply enhances or amplifies labor, and one that replaces a person to fulfill every whim (128:23).
• “The thing that developed [the] impetus for automation is...after the abolition of slavery, [the British Empire asked] oh my fucking God, how are we going to keep...profits? So the idea was: make the factory resemble a plantation as much as possible...” – Edward Ongweso Jr. (126:09)
• Profound discomfort with “zero-labor homes” and the notion of optimizing life at the expense of meaningful labor (132:21).

9. Grift, Tech Fads, and “Numbers You Don’t Need”

• Many CES products (especially those with AI or LLM buzzwords) are viewed as “numbers you don’t need”—solutions in search of problems, or outright grifts (138:18).
• Chloe: “So what does that do?...so who gives a shit?”
• More energy is put into extracting money from customers than delighting or serving actual needs (96:11).
• Big tech has money sloshing around, yet claims poverty in areas like entertainment—while “pouring it into the floor at CES on stuff that won’t work.” (139:53)

Notable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• “It’s physically in the Las Vegas Convention Center, Central Hall, LG booth. But this is not something that can be purchased or is sold or even does the very simple thing. I feel like I’m going insane.” – Ed, on Cloyd robot (11:17)

• “The odd thing is like. And there was so much RO in LVCC this year, like north hall full, full of robotics. And it’s robotics that I. That if you’ve seen it, say yes before. But it’s always been. They’ve always been kind of janky. And you haven’t seen like big companies like LG really mess with it because it’s all kind of janky. And I was just kind of surprised that LG is actually like dipping their toes into this...” – Garrison (10:21)

• “It’s all predatory for the person driving the car. Everything the engineer wanted to talk about was…another place where it’ll try to sell you something.” – Robert Evans, on Soundhound AI demos (99:42)

• “Half of this shit’s never going to exist anyway. So they just like, man, fuck it. Just connect it to the magic API thing. And then, product, please invest.” – Ed (56:13)

• “With so much useless shit here, a way to help people walk feels almost like the platonic ideal of CES, other than a giant television.” – Ed, on the Hypershell exosuit (28:21)

• “I have more fucking respect for anyone who works in a McDonald’s or diner or the shittiest chip shop in London or any city in the world than I will ever have for anyone who works at fucking Google.” – Ed (68:06)

• “Automation [was] designed to resemble slavery…[and] the whole heart and soul of it does link back to it.” – Edward Ongweso Jr. (126:09)

• “There is money sloshing around, hitting the sides, coming out people’s noses. Like, there is so much money. And…it’s infuriating…in entertainment, the fact that there is relatively little money, that money is tight. And…I’m like, it’s not.” – Chloe (138:50)

Memorable Moments

• Cloyd’s Demos: Panel cracks up over just how slow and useless the LG “Cloyd” robot is—moving keys, failing to fold towels (04:21-08:24).
• “Fitness Mode” Prank: Garrison delightfully trolls a friend by switching their exosuit to “fitness mode,” making movement almost impossible (26:50).
• Market Grifts: Robert Evans exposes how modern AI agents are now mostly for up-selling and extracting money, not serving users (96:11-97:39).
• Child Companion Robot Mayhem: Amused horror as a robot Michael Jackson dances, then is attacked with a mallet and liquor bottle in a bizarre booth video (135:23-136:46).
• Elizabeth Holmes Prison Tweet: Panel reads Holmes’ jailhouse tweet and riffs on tech grifts, drawing parallels to current AI hucksterism (110:04).
• Labor Respect Rant: Ed’s heartfelt (and expletive-laden) rant about respecting service workers and labor (68:06).

Essential Timestamps

• Robot Cloyd & Demo Analysis: 04:01–13:04
• Panelist Observations on Diminished CES: 13:34–15:37
• Exoskeleton (Hypershell) Review: 25:00–31:26, 35:36–39:45
• Discussion on Labor and Tech Privilege: 61:23–68:06
• Robots as “Slaves” (philosophy, history): 125:04–128:23
• Lost Whimsy at CES: 75:03–78:08
• AI Grift / Pointless Products: 96:11–99:56
• Child Companion Robot Madness: 135:23–136:46
• Panel’s Final Reflections: 138:18–140:57

Conclusion

CES 2026, as portrayed in this episode, is a microcosm of a tech industry infatuated with hype, automation, and profit extraction—but struggling with creativity, utility, and actual progress. The Better Offline team brings humor and passionate critique to issues ranging from exploitative business models and historical labor analogies, to the lack of socioeconomic empathy within Big Tech. It’s an episode rich with wit, insight, and a longing for the days when tech still dared to be fun—and perhaps, just a bit more honest.

Further Listening/Reading

• Chloe Radcliffe: @ChloeBadcliffe; Tour dates in Cincinnati, D.C., Philly
• Ed Zitron: [Newsletter link in show notes]
• Rob Pegoraro: Tech journalism archives, Twitter
• Better Offline Discord & Reddit: see podcast notes

(Summary by Better Offline Podcast Summarizer in the spirit and tone of the show)