Better Offline – CES 2026 Part Two (Tuesday)
Podcast: Better Offline (Cool Zone Media & iHeartPodcasts)
Date: January 7, 2026
Host: Ed Zitron
Guests: Edward Ongweso Jr. (Tech Bubble), Ed Niedermeyer (Autonocast), Matt Osawski, Henry Casey (CNN Underscored)
Episode Overview
This episode continues Better Offline’s irreverent, critical coverage of the 2026 Consumer Electronics Show (CES) from Las Vegas. Host Ed Zitron and his rotating panel of tech industry reporters dissect the latest trends, products, panels, and the “material slop” that tech companies are peddling this year—especially the collision of AI hype, dubious robotics, and increasingly useless “smart” consumer gadgets. With cutting wit and a ground-level presence at the show, the crew explores how tech promises the future while often delivering less-than-practical “innovation.”
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. State of CES 2026: Disenchantment & Déjà vu
Timestamps: 01:24–04:25, 10:22–12:47
- The mood among the hosts is a mix of CES fatigue and resignation at the endless parade of half-baked, janky prototypes and buzzword-heavy “innovation.”
- Ed Zitron recounts miserable experiences with smart glasses: expensive, ineffective, and blurry—“Who the fuck is this actually for?” (02:16)
- The sense of nostalgia for an earlier CES era: “It felt like about 10 years ago, CES, you'd see something here and then when it came out, it'd be complete. Now it's just they release everything in alpha.” (04:38, Zitron)
2. Smart Glasses & Wearables – (Still) Searching for a Reason
Timestamps: 02:16–03:46, 09:43–11:23, 52:11–54:01
- Smart glasses widely panned as useless, overpriced, clunky, or simply not ready for consumers.
- “I tried several... it was blurry... $1,200. I'm like, oh, great... who the fuck is this actually for?” (02:16, Zitron)
- Matt Osawski notes most functionalities promised for years remain theoretical: “They never really fucking see them in real life.” (10:22)
- Industry panels trumpet AI and wearables as “the next big thing,” yet panelists are skeptical it’ll move beyond niche or vanity use.
- The only real mass market driver: secret recording and surveillance, especially post-pandemic (52:47, Osawski)
- Notable moment: Ed Zitron describes demoing a pair that used a malfunctioning finger ring for control—“you had to like violently smack your... smashing my aura ring with my thumb and it was not working” (03:58).
3. Robots, AI Companions, and the Specter of “Agentic” Tech
Timestamps: 05:35–08:46, 19:06–26:29, 32:34–40:02
- CES is saturated with consumer robot demos—everything from “Boston Dynamics-style” dogbots in hospitals to home assistant robots and digital-nanny gadgets.
- Persistent disconnect between robotics that works (factory, Roomba) and attempts to inject “AI agency” into products for aging and childcare.
- On robots in care: "You know, my poor grandmother... she liked being called on the telephone, people. Yeah, yeah, it's like someone's my dad going and visiting her. Like, what's going to help your kid? Talking to them and asking questions..." (43:33, Zitron)
- A harsher critique: The fantasy of “AGI butlers” is little more than a rebranded vision of slavery. “[Elon Musk is] selling the idea slavery. Like, that's literally the vision, right?... It is slavery.” (22:04, Niedermeyer)
- Use cases rarely survive basic questioning; “agentic” just means “you can talk to a chatbot,” not true autonomy: “What's the part of it not you... well, like, it had, you know, there's a camera inside and it can see what food you have there... that's not an agent but word, okay.” (27:13, Ongweso Jr.)
4. AI Data Delusions & the Limits of LLMs
Timestamps: 14:44–18:59, 29:12–30:45
- Industry hype cycles are pivoting from “AI everything” to “digital twins,” “world models,” and now quantum—often in search of new demand for high-margin GPUs.
- The panel exposes how companies claim to solve every problem “with enough data” but cannot (and will not) specify how much data would actually be required.
- “Next time someone says, with enough data, ask them how much, and ask them to get specific, because they don't have a fucking answer.” (29:12, Zitron)
- Consumer AI “agentic” products, from health devices to kitchen gadgets, often amount to nothing more than rehashing the same basic analytics—just with a chatbot face.
5. Tech for Kids, Subscription Creep, & “Agentic” Toys
Timestamps: 32:42–39:47
- AI “friend” toys and “agentic” dolls, marketed as emotional companions for children, raise serious ethical red flags and risk replacing imagination with subscription-based, personality-driven LLMs.
- “They want like agentic AI in every single toy... Like you're not just going to get like a bare piece of plastic ever again... so they can subscribe you.” (34:54, Ongweso Jr.)
- Notable exchange:
- “If I had a robot walk up to me in my house and go, you need to lift some weights. I beat the everliving shit out of it.” (21:36, Zitron)
6. Auto Industry Tech: Digital Dashboards & RoboTaxis
Timestamps: 56:02–63:39, 79:04–83:49, 113:52–116:12
- The push for increasingly elaborate dashboard displays, including AI-powered full-windshield HUDs, is met with skepticism about safety and utility: “I want a window.” (61:22, Zitron)
- Industry is seeking a “software-defined vehicle,” maximizing flexibility for updates but often delivering feature bloat and distraction.
- Autonomous vehicles and robo-taxis (Waymo, Zoox) technically impressive but billions deep in unprofitable “bleed.” Operating costs, edge cases, regulations, and practical safety hurdles discussed.
- “[Robotaxi companies] are not yet making money... They're scaling very aggressively... burning somewhere on the order of $2 billion a year.” (114:36, Niedermeyer)
7. Actual Useful Tech: The Rare Glimmers
Timestamps: 65:56–70:59, 90:04–93:47
- Amid the slop, some genuine innovations: wireless TV brackets (charging + mounting), robust battery packs, and Samsung’s new projector with automatic correction steal the show for Henry Casey.
- “Samsung's Freestyle plus... it auto corrected around to a rectangle on top of the curtain... I was like whoa.” (90:03, Casey)
- Regular TVs, projectors, and functional wearables still have practical appeal—if only as incremental upgrades.
8. Hype, Gimmicks & the Pickle Debacle
Timestamps: 95:55–103:20
- The “Pickle” smart glasses—a “soul computer” remembering everything—becomes a live case study of venture vaporware and overpromising at CES.
- “If you call anything a soul computer... straight to jail. Fucking right down you go.” (96:24, Zitron)
- Online backlash from industry stalwarts underlines how skepticism is now open and vocal.
Notable Quotes
-
On Smart Glasses: “Who the fuck is this actually for? I'm just kind of lost.”
— Ed Zitron (02:16) -
On the state of tech demos: “Technology is not cutting edge unless it's janky, right? ... Cutting edge has become this term that we think of as just, like, good. But really the definition of it is not fully developed.”
— Ed Niedermeyer (04:25) -
On robot butler fantasies: “The man is a South African and a racist. And like, he's selling the idea slavery. Like, that's literally the vision, right?”
— Ed Niedermeyer (22:04) -
On data hype: “Next time... someone says, with enough data, ask them how much, and ask them to get specific, because they don't have a fucking answer.”
— Ed Zitron (29:12) -
On AI toys: “They want like agentic AI in every single toy so it becomes like a normal thing... so they can subscribe you.”
— Edward Ongweso Jr. (34:54) -
On auto industry dashboards: “I want a window.”
— Ed Zitron (61:22) -
On the spectacle at CES: “You can sell them slop. Because part of it is the spectacle, the prestige. 'I have the new tech thing.' The fact that it's janky and it doesn't work. This is exactly what's happening with Tesla Autopilot.”
— Ed Niedermeyer (24:26) -
On Robot Vacuums: “If you're listening from Roborock, your shit sucks.”
— Ed Zitron (108:54)
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Segment | Timestamps | |------------------------------------------|-------------------| | CES 2026, mood & smart glasses | 01:24–04:25 | | Robotics, AI companions & age-tech | 05:35–08:46 | | Industry buzzwords & hype (“world models,” digital twins, quantum) | 14:44–18:59 | | Data hunger, LLM critique | 29:12–30:45 | | Toy & child AI “agents,” social context | 32:42–39:47 | | Auto dashboards, robo-taxis | 56:02–63:39; 79:04–83:49; 113:52–116:12 | | Useful/non-useful product round-up | 65:56–70:59; 90:04–93:47 | | The Pickle “soul computer” saga | 95:55–103:20 | | Closing, open skepticism, funding crisis | 113:52–124:21 |
Tone & Style
The panel maintains a sardonic, often expletive-laden tone (true to the personalities and brand), balancing deep industry knowledge with the eye-rolling skepticism of weary veterans. They call out bullshit directly, interrogate the real-world value of touted innovations, and ground their critique in personal anecdotes, hands-on demos, and practical consumer sense.
Conclusion
If you’re wondering what’s actually going on at CES—beyond glossy press releases and staged keynotes—this episode is a bracing, funny, and highly informative listen. The hosts interrogate the gulf between marketing promises and what people actually need, dissect the self-reinforcing tech hype cycle, and expose both the spectacle and the scams. Through it all, they occasionally find authentic incremental progress—but keep coming back to the question: “Does this really solve a problem, or is it just more slop?”
Memorable Closing Quote:
“They should have a cheap section. They should literally have a cheap section of this show. Like a below 300 bucks.”
— Ed Zitron (92:32)
For further engagement:
- To see more CES impressions, check out the Tech Bubble newsletter & Autonocast.
- Support the Pediatric Epilepsy Research Consortium, as recommended by Ed Zitron.
- Email feedback to ezeteroffline.com; Discord and Reddit links via BetterOffline.com.