Monologue: Don't Buy A Switch 2, Get A Handheld Gaming PC

Summary

Better Offline: Monologue Summary – "Don't Buy A Switch 2, Get A Handheld Gaming PC"

Release Date: May 30, 2025

In this episode of Better Offline, host Ed Zitron delivers a passionate and critical monologue centered around the recent challenges faced by Nintendo with the launch of the Nintendo Switch 2 and advocates for the adoption of handheld gaming PCs as superior alternatives. Ed's candid discourse delves into consumer manipulation, the pitfalls of traditional gaming consoles, and the promising advancements in handheld PC gaming technology.

---

1. Critique of Nintendo's Business Practices

Ed opens his monologue with a strong condemnation of Nintendo, expressing frustration over the company's handling of product shortages and perceived consumer manipulation.

• Artificial Scarcity and Scalping Issues: Ed highlights Nintendo's strategy to create artificial scarcity around the Nintendo Switch 2, which has led to widespread sell-outs and inflated prices on secondary markets like eBay.

  "Fuck Nintendo. They do this shit every time. Creating artificial scarcity and then blaming unanticipated demand that they know will be there." (00:53)

• Consumer Exploitation: He accuses Nintendo of turning loyal customers into "pay pigs" through repetitive product launches and limited availability, drawing parallels to past experiences with consoles like the Wii.

  "They have this weird fucked up relationship with consumers where they turn them into pay pigs." (00:53)

2. Advocacy for Handheld Gaming PCs

Transitioning from criticism, Ed passionately advocates for handheld gaming PCs as a more reliable and versatile alternative to traditional consoles.

• Superior Gaming Experience: He praises devices like the Steam Deck and Rog Ally X for their ability to run high-end games such as Elden Ring and Baldur's Gate 3 with superior graphics, emphasizing the enhanced gaming experience they offer compared to the Nintendo Switch.

  "Since the Steam Deck launched in 2022, you've been able to play a remarkable amount of very, very good games... with better graphics." (02:10)

• Variety of Options: Ed discusses various models, including the MSI Claw 7, Lenovo’s Legion Go, and ASUS’s Rog Ally X, each offering different features to cater to diverse gamer preferences.

  "There's the Steam Deck and it's OLED screened upgrade pick. There's the MSI Claw 7, Lenovo's Legion Go and one I got actually got sent by Asus recently, their Rog Ally X..." (03:25)

3. Addressing Challenges of Handheld PCs

While promoting handheld gaming PCs, Ed acknowledges current limitations that need improvement.

• Operating System Compatibility: He points out issues with Windows 11's compatibility with handheld form factors, contrasting it with the more efficient SteamOS used by the Steam Deck.

  "Windows really does not like the handheld form factor... SteamOS, which is a Linux based system that really works very well." (05:00)

• Battery Life Concerns: Ed highlights the battery life constraints, noting that running high-performance modes can significantly drain the battery, though he remains optimistic about future advancements in battery technology.

  "Running a Rog Ally X at full tilt turbo mode is going to drain the battery pretty quickly... we're only a few years in battery tech and chips will get smaller and these things will last longer." (06:15)

4. Personal Experiences and Recommendations

Sharing his personal interactions with various handheld PCs, Ed provides firsthand insights into their performance and usability.

• Preference for Rog Ally X: Despite his criticisms, Ed expresses a personal preference for the Rog Ally X over the Steam Deck due to its design and performance features.

  "I really do like the Rog Ally X. The Steam Deck is just too chunky for me." (07:00)

• Encouragement to Gamers: He encourages listeners to try out handheld gaming PCs for themselves, suggesting that experiencing the devices firsthand can lead to a greater appreciation of their potential.

  "If you can, I think like Best Buy has a lot of them. Go and play with them, pick them up, feel them in your hands. It's your choice." (08:30)

5. Positive Outlook on PC Gaming and Future Prospects

Concluding his monologue on a forward-looking note, Ed emphasizes the strengths of PC gaming and the exciting prospects of handheld gaming technology.

• Robust PC Gaming Ecosystem: He lauds the current state of PC gaming, citing a vast library of enjoyable games and the flexibility that PC gaming offers compared to console-exclusive titles.

  "PC gaming rocks right now. There are tons of fun games you can play." (09:00)

• Anticipation for Industry Growth: Ed expresses enthusiasm for the future of handheld PC gaming, anticipating that ongoing technological advancements will address current limitations and further enhance the gaming experience.

  "There have been significant leaps between generations as far as power and battery life goes. I really hope we see more companies get into this space." (09:15)

---

Conclusion

Ed Zitron's monologue in this episode of Better Offline serves as a fervent critique of Nintendo's business strategies while championing the rise of handheld gaming PCs as a superior and more reliable alternative. Through his detailed analysis and personal experiences, Ed provides listeners with a compelling argument for considering the future of gaming beyond traditional consoles. His insights highlight both the current advantages and the potential growth areas in handheld PC gaming, encouraging gamers to explore and embrace these innovative devices.

---

Notable Quotes:

• "Fuck Nintendo... They do this shit every time." — Ed Zitron (00:53)
• "Since the Steam Deck launched in 2022, you've been able to play a remarkable amount of very, very good games." — Ed Zitron (02:10)
• "Running a Rog Ally X at full tilt turbo mode is going to drain the battery pretty quickly." — Ed Zitron (06:15)
• "I really hope we see more companies get into this space." — Ed Zitron (09:15)

---

Timestamp Guide:

• 00:53 – Introduction to monologue and criticism of Nintendo
• 02:10 – Discussion on the Steam Deck and game performance
• 03:25 – Overview of various handheld gaming PCs
• 05:00 – Issues with Windows 11 and handheld PCs
• 06:15 – Battery life concerns in handheld gaming PCs
• 07:00 – Personal preference for Rog Ally X
• 08:30 – Encouragement to try handheld gaming PCs
• 09:00 – Praise for PC gaming ecosystem
• 09:15 – Optimism for the future of handheld PC gaming

---

Note: Timestamps are provided for reference to specific sections within the monologue.

Transcript

[Ed Zitron]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Colgate Representative]

Colgate Total may make your favorite toothpaste, but it's also a science innovator committed to oral health. For instance, the Colgate Total Active Prevention System with a cutting edge toothbrush, refreshing antibacterial mouthwash and a reformulated toothpaste. With a technology so innovative it won the 2024 Edison Patent Award, the Colgate Total Active prevention system is 15 times more effective at reducing bacteria buildup to fight the root cause of oral health problems in six starting from week one compared to a non antibacterial fluoride toothpaste and flat trim toothbrush. Talk about science. Get the Colgate Total Active Prevention System today so you can be dentist ready. Shop now by visiting shop.colgate.com total.

[Ed Zitron]

Hello and welcome to this week's BET or offline monologue. I'm your host, Ed Zitron. Better offline. And let's start with one point. Fuck Nintendo. Back in February, Nintendo said that shortages of the Nintendo Switch will not be a problem and came up with a genius to quote multiple outlets, means of keeping scalpers from buying them all. By requiring Those buying on Nintendo.com to have at least 12 months of Nintendo Online memberships as well as 50 combined hours of Nintendo Switch gameplay two weeks before launch. Nintendo America boss Doug Bowser, and yes, that is his name, said that the company believed it would have enough units to meet consumer demand throughout the holidays. Guess what? They didn't make enough. And now the Nintendo Switch 2 is sold out everywhere with scalpers charging hundreds of dollars extra on ebay. If you're someone who's gonna email saying you are easily able to buy one, you're an exception to the rule and you fucking know it. Fuck Nintendo. They do this shit every time. Creating artificial scarcity and then blaming on unanticipated demand that they know will be there. They do this every single time. They did it back with the fucking Wii. It happens every time. I despise this company. They have this weird fucked up relationship with consumers where they turn them into pay pigs. Where it's just like, hey, we're gonna re. We're gonna do a new Zelda game. You want. You want to do that dance for me, you little piglet? And I say this to someone who's bought a Nintendo Switch. I don't know, I'm just of the companies I'm most tired of kind of Nintendo's up there. While they may have their nice ecosystem. Wait, I'm not talking about a Nintendo here. I have a better suggestion. A much better suggestion, Buy a portable gaming PC instead. Since the Steam Deck launched in 2022, you've been able to play a remarkable amount of very, very good games like Elden ring and Baldur's Gate 3 with better graphics. No need to hand cash to a company that fucking lies to you every time they launch a console. There's the Steam Deck and it's OLED screened upgrade pick. There's the MSI Claw 7, Lenovo's Legion Go and one I got actually got sent by Asus recently, their Rog Ally X and I really like it. One thing though, there is a downside other than in the case of the Steam Deck and It's Windows. Windows 11 is really, really funky with these handhelds. I'm going to do a far more developed episode on the Rog Ally X and others when I've spent more time with it. But Windows really does not like the handheld form factor and Microsoft has clearly not made much of an effort to make sure that probably the most interesting form factor in PC gaming, if not gadgets, in years, actually fucking works. Now the reason I've kind of said the Steam Deck is different is they use their own operating system, SteamOS, which is a Linux based system that really works very well except for when it comes to anti cheat measures. But that's just something you'll have to deal with. I know others are considering doing Steam OS integrations. I really hope so because I love steamos. It's really good. And the reason I don't play my Steam Deck that much is because like I got, I got like. I just don't like the. It doesn't feel good in my hands. Okay, a lot of these things are going to be like that for you. It's why later on I suggest you go and play with one. But across the board there's another challenge. There's a battery life problem. Two to eight hours, allegedly. But if I'm honest, running a Rog Ally X at full tilt turbo mode is going to drain the battery pretty quickly. I haven't done official battery tests. I was still able to play for a couple of hours. It was good. I was playing stuff on full tilt too. But this is one case where I'm fully willing to say we're only a few years in battery tech and chips will get smaller and these things will last longer. Right now they fit nicely in the hand, but they're a touch heavy and get a little hot. Which is kind of silly for PC gaming. Either way, while I've played with A few of these handhelds, the Steam Deck and Rog Ally X are the ones I've had the most time with and Asus is really great. It can't really run Doom the Dark Ages very well. It looks like a PS4 or PS3 version. It's been great for playing Madden 25, redacted Hades 2, the new Oblivion remaster, and a bunch of emulation stuff. Both the Steam Deck and the Rog Ally X also use power delivery, which is in a lot of modern chargers. Though I will add the Rog Ally X wanted to charge at 90 watts when I plugged it in the other day. Kind of weird, but I also was playing something a little bit taxing on it. These things are also not cheap and while the steam deck is $399, it's getting on a bit. And the more recent yet year old Rog ally X is 800 bucks. Though I should add it's more powerful and has 128Hz screen. I also really like it. Like I've just been. I've been playing with it a lot. Yeah, I know on this show I'm constantly bitching about stuff such as like one minute ago, but I really do like the Rog Ally X. The Steam Deck is just too chunky for me. Too chunky. I don't know if I've got small hands, but for my hands they're kind of chub. Just like the Rog Ally X. More. And I will say there are other options too. More powerful options. And like the GPD Win 4 is like $1,000. It's too much. It doesn't do enough. It's not worth your money. The Rog ally X for 800 bucks I actually really like. I think you could. You, you will be using this thing for years and you'll be very happy with them. And you could probably plug it into a battery when you're charging as well. So it will keep going. And I'll say this segment is probably the most exciting part of the tech industry for me at the moment. And it's also the way I do. Most of my gaming consoles work really well. Yeah, they're a little bulky right now. Yeah, they got heating things. But there have been significant leaps between generations as far as power and battery life goes. I really hope we see more companies get into this space and as they do, I'll probably end up playing with their versions too. I want to do a bigger episode on handheld PC gaming. I've not done my rounds with all of them yet, but if you're somehow in PR for one of these things, email me easyteroffline.com and I'm looking forward to on a larger level doing more gaming stuff. Gamers can be a little bit angry and I'm sure someone is gonna hear me say fuck Nintendo and get really upset. But you know what gaming industry needs a look at too. But there are really positive things. PC gaming rocks right now. There are tons of fun games you can play, but also these handheld gaming, there's years of games that work on them really, really well. I mean I play Madden 25 because it's like ASMR for me, but it's nice, it works really well. I love these things and I think you will too. So I really recommend if you can, I think like Best Buy has a lot of them. Go and play with them, pick them up, feel them in your hands. It' choice. And yeah, buy that instead of a Nintendo Switch too. You don't need to play the latest version of Mario Kart. Mario Kart has been the same goddamn game for years. You know it and so do I. Anyway, that's gonna get me in trouble too. But give these things a go and yeah, here you go. A semi positive monologue view for bloody ones. Thanks for listening.

[Colgate Representative]

Colgate Total may make your favorite toothpaste, but it's also a science innovator committed to oral health. For instance, the Colgate Total Active Prevention system with a cutting edge toothbrush, refreshing antibacterial mouthwash and a reformulated toothpaste. With a technology so innovative it won the 2024 Edison Patent Award, the Colgate Total Active prevention system is 15 times more effective at reducing bacteria buildup to fight the root cause of oral health problems. In six weeks, starting from week one, comp to a non antibacterial fluoride toothpaste and flat trim toothbrush. Talk about science. Get the Colgate Total Active Prevention System today so you can be dentist ready. Shop now by visiting shop.colgate.com total.

[Ed Zitron]

Do.

[Intuit QuickBooks Representative]

You own a business that's ready to thrive? It's time to let Intuit QuickBooks take things like unpaid invoices and tracking expenses off your plate so you can take things to the next level. Intuit QuickBooks is an all in one business platform that can help with those day to day tasks like invoicing and expenses. Manage and grow your business all in one place. Intuit QuickBooks your way to money Money movement services are provided by Intuit Payments Inc. Licensed as a money transmitter by the New York State Department of financial services.

[Ed Zitron]

Here at the Almond Joy Factory, where tropical vibes abound, we use soft, fresh.

[Intuit QuickBooks Representative]

Tasting coconut, the crunchiest almonds, and delicious chocolate candy.

[Ed Zitron]

Ah, but do you know what our most important ingredient is? Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Almond Joy's got nuts and something even way better than that.

[Almond Joy Representative]

Yes.

[Ed Zitron]

Almond Joy is made with almonds.

[Colgate Representative]

And Johoy.

[Almond Joy Representative]

Spring is here and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan?

[Colgate Representative]

Sorry, nope.

[Almond Joy Representative]

But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app.

[Colgate Representative]

For details, this is an iHeart podcast.