The Good Faith Footprint

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bewildered — "The Good Faith Footprint"

Hosts: Martha Beck & Rowan Mangan
Episode Date: June 3, 2026

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Overview

In this delightfully meandering episode, Martha Beck and Rowan Mangan tackle the overwhelming feelings of anxiety and helplessness that come from witnessing ecological and societal crises. Through the lens of a humorous and relatable story about accidentally ordering (and misdelivering) live insects, the hosts explore the vital importance of intention, joy, and small-scale goodness in confronting global challenges. They advocate for shifting away from frantic, guilt-driven activism to a more restorative, energetically positive way of being that still meaningfully impacts the world.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life in the Wild (Bear Encounters, Scroll Binging, and ADHD)

• The episode begins with light banter about social media habits, notably Martha’s ADHD-driven fascination with internet animal videos and her need to share bizarre finds with Rowan (02:00).
  • “There is not a video in the whole Internet that does not fascinate you.” — Rowan (02:13)
  • Martha talks about compulsively texting herself amusing animal videos for later “emergency reference”—a legacy of her preparedness-obsessed Mormon upbringing (04:10).
• Discussion shifts to living in bear country, balancing awe and safety, and the rituals they perform when heading across their property at night to tend to plants and avoid spring bears (07:35).
  • “He’s so glossy and large, and all I want to do is admire him and maybe give him a hug. And that’s the problem when you’re walking in the dark at night with spring bears.” — Martha (08:10)

2. The “Accidentally Ordered Bees” Story (14:00 – 34:00)

• Rowan recounts a late-night online purchase mishap: believing she’d accidentally ordered a box of live bees during a fit of gardening enthusiasm after a fake early spring in the Hudson Valley.
  • The subsequent realization (and panic) that the bees had shipped and were sitting in a freezing mailbox prompts Martha and Rowan to don pajamas and overcoats for a nighttime rescue mission (19:45).
  • Rowan: “Do you ever have those times where... you think, is it possible that last night after Trinity time... I actually kind of ordered a box of live bees?” (19:04)
• The hosts vividly describe their concern for the bees’ fate, the absurd logistical dilemmas (where to keep, feed, or release them), and the ultimate guilt-driven midnight errand (23:00–25:00).
  • “We were on a mission from God to save these live being a box.” — Martha (31:27)
• The punchline: After a long and frantic journey involving attempted overnighting to bee-loving friends in Georgia, it is discovered that Rowan had, in fact, ordered ladybugs rather than bees (33:19).
  • “I didn’t order bees. And that’s when I had the thought. Did I maybe order ladybugs? Live ladybugs?” — Rowan (33:42)
  • This confusion underscores the chaos and futility that can ensue when attempting to “save the world” in an anxiety-driven, ungrounded state.

3. The Trap of Despair-Driven Activism & The Power of Intention (34:28 – 54:32)

• Both Martha and Rowan elaborate on childhood tendencies towards despair in the face of overwhelming environmental news.
  • Martha: “Both you and I, pretty much from infancy when they first told us the rainforests were being chopped down…we didn’t cope...we were children who ended up in the corner rocking and keening over these things.” (34:34)
• The hosts critique the cultural belief that frantic striving (and suffering) is the only way to address massive problems (“bailing out the ocean with a teaspoon”).
  • Martha: “Everything feels like you’re trying to bail out the ocean with a teaspoon.” (36:51)
• They acknowledge the need for concrete efforts but suggest these are more effective when rooted in love and joy, not panic.
  • “Because I think this is the cultural agreement...that’s how we’re going to make things better, by going to a place of desperate striving against immeasurable odds…” — Martha (36:50)
• The ladybug saga becomes a metaphor for how good intentions can lead to comically mixed-up results and unintended “carbon footprints,” but intention itself still matters.

4. The Gentle Nudge Theory & The Importance of Joy (46:23 – 56:54)

• Martha shares scientific insights from chaos theory and system regulation.
  • The “gentle nudge” theory: Complex systems in chaos (like ecosystems, robots, spacecraft, or even a child’s nervous system) can often be stabilized by the tiniest, most orderly nudge, rather than by brute-force interventions (47:00–49:00).
  • "A system in chaos is just one little nudge away from total collapse... But a system in chaos is also one tiny nudge away from something completely different... There is an underlying coherent system that is robust and healthy and optimal, and these tiny nudges from a highly ordered direction cause the underlying order to reestablish itself." — Martha (47:46–48:13)
• Using emotional and practical examples, they argue that the most generative “footprint” we can leave is one of intention, joy, and creative hope.
  • Rowan: “It’s like we’re little projector screens. And what our hearts actually wish does get projected out into the sky…” (46:23)
• Rather than being immobilized or frantic, the call is to nurture one's own joy and creativity as a legitimate and essential way of contributing positively.

5. Critique of the Martyr Complex & Suffering as Activism (54:43 – 56:10)

• Martha recalls reader pushback to her suggestion that reducing anxiety and increasing creativity could be the best service in a suffering world.
  • “There really is this identification of suffering as a form of helping the suffering. And I think it comes partly from, like, Christianity. Like, the guy on the cross is the one helping us all the most. But he did it with his love, not with his…” — Martha (54:43)
• They push for a movement away from identifying with suffering and towards active restoration and joy.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the futility of guilt-driven eco-activism:
  “Everything feels like you’re trying to bail out the ocean with a teaspoon.” — Martha (36:51)

• On the symbolic weight of a well-intentioned blunder:
  “In my attempts to save the world by shopping online for bees...I ended up, like, shipping bees all over the country...Even ladybugs have wings, you know what I’m saying? That’s, like, redundant. And so then that’s a carbon footprint that is big... And they’re not even bees!” — Rowan (41:33)

• On the gentle nudge of intention:
  “If all of our folks out there...feel just a slight degree of more back to the inherent order that brings joy and a sense of health and vitality and enthusiasm. If we just move in that direction, it leaves a footprint we can’t yet measure. But I believe it is very, very real and actually very powerful.” — Martha (52:18)

• On the cultural expectation to suffer for the cause:
  “There is really this identification of suffering as a form of helping the suffering.” — Martha (54:43)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:07 – 03:24: Opening banter about online scrolling, algorithms, and social media animal content
• 07:34 – 11:37: Bear encounters & nightly rituals; discussing contrasting attitudes towards danger and nature
• 14:02 – 34:04: The live bee/ladybug saga — from late-night shopping to logistical chaos and final revelation
• 34:34 – 40:31: Reflection on environmental despair and culturally ingrained frantic activism
• 46:23 – 52:18: Chaos theory, “gentle nudge” metaphor, system regulation, and the argument for the power of intention
• 54:43 – 56:54: Critique of martyrdom and suffering as the only valid form of activism; affirmation of joy, humor, and restoration

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Thematic Takeaways

• Good Intentions Leave a Real Footprint: Even when well-meaning efforts miss the mark, the intention and the spirit behind them matter deeply.
• Joy is Essential, Not Frivolous: Restoring your own sense of joy, playfulness, and creative energy isn’t just self-care; it’s an act of resistance and world-building.
• Gentle Nudges Over Grand Gestures: Systemic change is often more possible through subtle, steady, positive influence than through large-scale, desperate intervention.
• Shift from Despair to Restorative Energy: Anxiety and guilt aren’t prerequisites for action; loving restoration, enthusiasm, and hope are more generative.
• Let Go of Martyrdom: Identification with pain doesn’t help solve the pain of the world; loving energy and creativity do.

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Final Message (in their own spirit)

If you find yourself bewildered by the state of the world and your place in it, remember: intention counts, even when it takes the form of a midnight, pajama-clad bee rescue gone awry. Restore your own joy—it’s not only allowed, it’s vital. From the smallest kind act or creative project to the largest restoration effort, the gentle nudge of love is the most profound “good faith footprint” we can leave. Stay wild.

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Suggested Episode Titles

• Even Ladybugs Have Wings (41:58)
• Robots Always Give Me Hope (47:00)
• The Gentle Nudge Theory of Saving the World (46:57)

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For more, check out Bewildered Retreats or join their Wilder online community for more deeply connected, restorative conversations.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Martha Beck.

[B]

And I'm Rowan Mangan. And this is another episode of Bewildered, the podcast for people trying to figure it out.

[A]

Yep. And I think we've got kind of an interesting story to tell the folks today.

[B]

We have a story of bumbling hijinks, and that involves you and me, Marty, quite recently.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

In our pajamas and our overcoats in the middle of the night, in the middle of winter, freezing cold night, running around our property, trying to save the world. Trying to save the world. Badly.

[A]

Like, really badly. Yeah, but that's all right.

[B]

It's okay. Because what we're learning is that if your intention is good, that really does make a difference in the world. That's not nothing. That's something. No matter what is in the box that you ordered online after dark.

[A]

Shh. Don't tell. Come and listen.

[B]

On Bewildered, we have a lot of conversations about finding our own true nature, and we enjoy that a lot. But talking ultimately can't compare with the lived experience of sharing space and time with kindred spirits and actually doing it. Every year, Mari and I bring Bewildered to the Costa Rican jungle for our pure wild self retreats. We call them a culture cleanse where you can wash off all the shoulds, learn directly from Martha how to hear that wise voice of your true nature. And we laugh and play and eat amazing food and make lifelong friends. If this sounds like something your soul longs for, listen to it. You can learn [e-mail] hope to see you in the jungle.

[A]

What are you trying to figure out, Ro?

[B]

Well, Marty, you're back on Instagram. I noticed.

[A]

I am? Oh, yes. You mean scrolling.

[B]

Yeah. You're back to your scrolling ways. It happens from time to time.

[A]

The Internet plus adhd.

[B]

It is something. It is something. I mean, we've talked about it before, but you sort of. You forget that it exists for months.

[A]

I have to. You see what happens when I start?

[B]

Yeah, You. Oh, you. There is not a video in the whole Internet that does not fascinate you.

[A]

Everything fascinates me. And I have. I have to show it to people. I can't share it because that means my algorithm will go all wonky. So I have to actually take it to you and force you to look at it.

[B]

It's my algorithm. I won't. I won't open things that you send me a lot of the time. Because that's good.

[A]

That's wise.

[B]

You send me such rubbish, honestly, with love.

[A]

Like, I mean, beavers carrying things across things. It's amazing.

[B]

So. But what I love is that you kind of you. There's like a Persona that goes with the you who's in a scrolling mode. And I'll just come in in the morning and you'll be just sitting there and you'll be like, rome, I'm following this absolutely demented chihuahua.

[A]

It's true. Absolutely true. I just love that little dog.

[B]

But it's just. It's lovely. I'm following this absolutely demented chihuahua and I'm like, are you darling?

[A]

Yeah, it's very. Like Breakfast at Tiffany's or whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With the Chihuahua stuff.

[B]

So I'm trying to figure out, like, how I feel about this, how to make peace with it. I don't know, just I'm wondering when it will pass and you'll go back to, you know, I have a lot

[A]

of work to do and it really, really. I can't not. And then my ADHD takes me to people's posts about adhd, which are always very cunning and true and make me have to, like, text everyone I know who has adhd, thereby dethroning all, like, pulling every single person I know completely into the Internet and off the track of their lives.

[B]

No, because no one opens the things that you said. But what I love is when you know that something's really bad, you don't text it to us because you know you'll get in trouble.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

And so you get a video that's total rubbish.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

And you text it to yourself.

[A]

To myself. Yeah. Because someone has to be told. And the me who reads my text is not the me who's like, blah,

[B]

blah, blah, la la.

[A]

Look at this beaver. He's crossing the road with a pine tree in his teeth.

[B]

So you're kind of like holding up your phone to future you going, look, yes, I am. And do you ever scroll through your texts yourself and like, revisit.

[A]

Yes. And then sometimes they're so good I have to resend them to myself.

[B]

No, seriously?

[A]

Yeah, because they have to stay current in case. And here's the thing, it's in case. So I was raised Mormon. We sa things like the whole, watch out, there's going to be a food shortage. You need to have three years supply of food in your basement. I was raised with that man. And so I keep things at the ready storage. And me, we are friends. So you never know when that very excellent Instagram of the man who dresses his duck in, like, dominatrix outfits, you never know who's going to show up in your life, and you're going to need instant access to that particular, like, thing. So, yeah, I resend them so they're current.

[B]

I feel like this is something I'm trying to figure out, and I now know less about it than I did when we began talking about it. I'm so much further from figuring it

[A]

out, and my work here is done.

[B]

You remain an enigma to me, my

[A]

love wrapped inside a perplex with a little mayonnaise inside. Whoa.

[B]

What are you trying. No, yeah, I do. I do. Everyone knows. It's fine.

[A]

Okay, good.

[B]

I love you. What are you trying to figure out?

[A]

It's not unrelated.

[B]

Oh, is it about a duck that gets dressed in you? No.

[A]

Larger and more killy.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Because the thing about scrolling and TV and stuff is that you see all these majestic creatures of the wild and they don't scare you. Like, I was reading. I was thinking about Dante's Divine Comedy the other day.

[B]

So was I.

[A]

When Dante says he's, like, wandering around in the woods and he sees a terrifying lion and a terrifying leopard and a terrifying wolf. And when you and I go to Africa to Londolozi, and we see lions and leopards, we're not like, he is practically, I think, in the original, at high.

[B]

And it.

[A]

He says, like, I saw the lion and I shat myself. Something similar to that. Like, people were afraid to see lions. And we're like, can you show us a lion? Can you get close enough for us to hear it breathing in its sleep? Which they do. And we're like, yay, we're such idiots. And the people who've actually grown up in Africa know that this is. That this situation could actually turn sour. So they're not, like, quite as jubilantly careless about being right next to a lie. They're more wise.

[B]

I guess so. But I will say to you that I have also seen them get their iPhones out and do a little video.

[A]

Now, they are all obsessed with the lions, too, but they're obsessed in a wise way, where I'm obsessed in a completely idiotic way. And see it. It bears on our situation. Bears. Because it's spring in the Hudson Valley. And I'll tell you what happens in spring in the Hudson Valley.

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

The bears wake up after a long sleep, hungry bears. Hungry and groggy. And every night, as you well know, my bedroom is in a little separate structure, so I have to go through the darkness, through the woods in the night. And now there could be spring bears out there. And in fact, our neighbor Sent around like camera trap video of a very large and glossy bear in our neighborhood just ambling. That's what they do.

[B]

They amble, they stroll.

[A]

He's so glossy and large, and all I want to do is admire him and maybe give him a hug. And that's the problem when you're walking in the dark at night with spring bears.

[B]

Yeah. It's funny because I'm going through the same thing with Lila where like way back when we first moved in and a bear came to visit us in our yard, like the first day, he was so white. Wasn't he so lovely? He was such a great, great guy. And, But I'm. And so like. And Lila's like, let's go up. And I'm like, no, but we won't be doing that. We won't be going anywhere near it because dangerous. And then I think I did too well on that. So now when we're like, oh, the bears are waking up, I was like, how does. Is it going to get in the house? How do we stop it getting in the house? And I'm like, what wise? I just, I don't, I don't want. We have enough in our household of forces that will terrify and find things terrifying. And I just want to also infuse a little bit of light heartedness.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it's like I have to find the happy medium.

[A]

I know. This is what I'm trying to figure out.

[B]

And I love how you, when you leave at night, first we check our babies. That's our saplings, our little seedlings and, and seeds and, and plants and things.

[A]

And then put tall tomato plants that you accidentally planted at Christmas time.

[B]

Didn't accidentally plant them.

[A]

You just.

[B]

I accidentally planted them at the wrong time.

[A]

They don't really have a brake pedal, as it turns out. They just grow.

[B]

Those things are like, it's getting like

[A]

Little Shop of Horrors in there. Like, they're, they're, they talk to each other, they make plans.

[B]

So you and I do our little thing where we go and check on our babies and turn off their grow lights. And then you open the door and

[A]

you go, hello, bear.

[B]

And you sound like a 1950s, like, husband getting home from work expecting a cocktail. Like, you're just like, hello, bear, how's your day been?

[A]

Because I wanted, I wanted to think I'm large and, and, and, and kind of disillusioned. Obstreperous. Yeah. And like, I don't give a. I'm gonna slap him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I made you a bear stick. Which you have not. You have not been using.

[A]

I have the bear stick. It is. It is a twig, my love. It is. That would not even. No. I mean, certain things would stop a bear, but that. No.

[B]

I could, like, tie a jumper to it. I mean. Sorry, what the hell is a jumper? A sweater.

[A]

A jumper that means little pinafore to us. So I go out with a stick that's wearing a little pinafore, going, oh, look, it's Goldilocks. Why don't you kill her first?

[B]

I have an Australian friend now, and you can't hurt me anymore.

[A]

Yeah, you grew up in Australia and you have one Australian friend.

[B]

I have an Australian friend.

[A]

That's so sweet, honey.

[B]

Where we live and where we live, we get together and insult Americans loudly in cafes. And then they look at us. So that's my.

[A]

That's what they'll do. Because we are brash at first glance, but if you try to humiliate us, we have no. We just have no fangs. We're not like the British. They're polite at first, but if you try to hurt them or embarrass them, they come back at you with stuff that they honed in boarding school. It's really scary. But Americans, we got nothing. We're like, I'm great. I'm here. And you're like, you're awful. You should leave. And you're like, I'm going to bring democracy to your country. Yeah. Wherever we take go to bring democracy, we find oil, don't we?

[B]

So lucky. Amazing how that happens. Hey, I have an amazing idea.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What should we do? A podcast?

[A]

What? What? It's spring.

[B]

Why would we do something like that?

[A]

Yes, let's do that.

[B]

Let's do it. Hi there. I'm Ro, and I'll be your podcaster for today. Do you know how to tip your podcaster? It's actually pretty easy. You can rate our pod with lots of stars, all your stars. You can review it with your best superlatives. You can even subscribe or follow Bewildered, so you'll never miss an episode. Then, of course, if you're ready to go, all in. Our paid online community is called Wilder, A Sanctuary for the Bewildered. And I can honestly say it's one of the few true sanctuaries online. You can go to wildercommunity.com to check it out. Great review. Subscribe, join, and you all have a great day now.

[A]

So we talk a lot on the podcast about coming to our senses, which sounds like you could do it by yourself, but weirdly, it Isn't.

[B]

No. You actually can't do it alone. And I think especially right now when everything out there feels very polarized and over overwhelming and noisy, people really often don't have a place where they can just go and be completely themselves.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So.

[A]

And that's why we started Wilder, which is our online community. And it's for people who really want kindness and connection and belonging without the strident divisive argument that seems to be everywhere these days.

[B]

Yeah. In Wilder, we explore a new theme every month to help us stay in touch with our true nature. And there are all these live events on Zoom that are so fun from like body doubling, co working, parties, meditations,

[A]

teaches meditations and classes.

[B]

Marty does Earth School, which is brilliant and frequent meditations that we do together. And it is just a group of people who are the best. So if you've ever listened to this podcast and thought, I wish I could go deeper with this, or I wish I could talk to more people about these kinds of ideas or Wilder is where that happens.

[A]

It really is. So if you want to come join [e-mail] we would love to see you there.

[B]

Marty. Today we have a story about bees.

[A]

A story. It's quite a long story. Quite a long, painful story.

[B]

It's a true story. I want to say that it's a true story.

[A]

It is.

[B]

It happened to us recently. Story about bees.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I guess like the first thing I want to say to set it up is I shouldn't be allowed to do things after a certain time in the evening. Like we watch a TV show. As regular listeners would be aware. We have a very.

[A]

Exactly what we do every day.

[B]

And after TV show, we all like go into our little spaces and have our little evening rituals, whatever they may be. You're on Instagram texting yourself. I was gonna say beavers.

[A]

It's a fine idea now that you mention it.

[B]

And I. What needs to happen is that all my Internet is cut off because I sometimes do ill advised in online shopping.

[A]

I'm not gonna contradict you here.

[B]

No. And it's. It's not right. And I had like a really bad moment where I thought it was.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I gotta tell this from my perspective because I feel that your perspective will distress our listeners unduly. I think they should hear it from my perspective because that will terrify and yet I think amaze them. All right, okay. So it's Roe's first winter in a wintry place. Like really serious mofo of a winter. This was one of the worst.

[B]

Don't know if we've mentioned it.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe I'll just. Here or there now. It's the worst winter I've survived since I lived in Boston and didn't have a car. Like that was. That was also a part time winters. But this was a really rough winter. But then as you know if you live in a rough winter kind of place the weather guards lie to you.

[B]

And the weather guards, the weather gods.

[A]

They like to like dick around with you. So then they throw in. In February they throw in the occasional 70 degrees Fahrenheit day.

[B]

Fake spring.

[A]

And we had a fake spring. And Ro got very active like a bear.

[B]

I. I was so happy.

[A]

Yeah. She was like putting away her winter clothes and moving the furniture out onto the lawn. We've got to have family time on the lawn. It's been so long since we were outside.

[B]

Lawn is a generous word.

[A]

I should just say out on the.

[B]

Out in the mud patch.

[A]

On the deliverance patch. It's not really pretty yet.

[B]

No.

[A]

But.

[B]

But we do know where Bilbo's been going to the bathroom all day.

[A]

That was under the snow. But treats for Easter time. But it was like with every breath, with every action you took that day you were saying in one way or another it's over.

[B]

I was tempting the gods.

[A]

You didn't know though. Karen and I sort of looked at each other and went. Why is this? I guess we should go outside. Why are we not? And it's because we've lived in winter places and we knew about the lying from the gods. So Earl the God of weather. So then a few weeks go by and it's once again no degrees outside.

[B]

Horrifying. Frigid.

[A]

Right. Any bear that woke up is now frozen solid wherever it happened to ramble. And

[B]

we just had the memory of that one beautiful day. But a kind of hazy memory. Honestly.

[A]

It got hazy in a hurry.

[B]

Yeah. Cause it just. It seemed like it was too good to be true. I couldn't really remember all that much that had happened that day. And that's the problem.

[A]

That was because you got very manic and did things far into the night.

[B]

I believe it turns out.

[A]

Yeah. So we do our whole day routine. We've got a beautiful fire in the wood stove which is sending out massive amounts of heat. Cause you are a wonderful fire maker.

[B]

She throws in a compliment.

[A]

Because it's about to get winter.

[B]

So. So.

[A]

And Karen goes to bed and the fire is dying. And it's dark and we've got our Amber colored glasses on because neither one of us sleeps without them. And you looked at me and you went absolutely ashen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you said this was the day

[B]

after, or maybe two days after.

[A]

It was a while after.

[B]

Because you said, after the beautiful day,

[A]

I think I've done something really bad. Like, really bad. And you weren't just, like, in an inner child thing. Like, you were afraid at an inner child level, but also at a adult rowy level. And I was like, what?

[B]

Do you ever have those times where you're, like, living your life and you think, oh, yeah, last night I was looking at all my gardening Facebook groups, and that was fun. And I was scrolling through and seeing what people were up to with all their planting because springtime's here. And then I suddenly, like, my stomach just, like, dropped. And I just. I just had this little inkling, and I was like, is it possible that last night after Trinity time, when the Internet should not be given to me, I actually kind of ordered a box of live bees?

[A]

Oh, no. I think I did. She was like, marty, I think I have. I ordered a box of live bees. I was like, I was not expecting that. There were many things that I could have expected. That was not one of them.

[B]

If I. If I go to Google and hit the letter A, the first thing that comes up from cooking memory is accidentally ordered live bees. Because I was. It's hard to know what to do when you accidentally order live bees.

[A]

Yeah. And I was all ready to be. You know, I thought you were going to do something. Like, usually when you do something like that, you'll say, like, I told someone, you know, I gave someone our email address, and now I'm having second thoughts or something. Like, I wasn't expecting anything.

[B]

Cut my hair.

[A]

When you went down and grabbed the kitchen shears and cut off all your hair that you also said you'd done a bad thing, but these were, yeah, they're fine. And then you said that, and I was like, oh, Roie, actually, you know what you have. And then you checked your email, and it said delivered. It was 12 degrees Fahrenheit outside. It was like deep freeze weather. And our mailbox is, like, half a mile away from our house, and we're both just getting. We're sliding into hibernation. And now I'm like, oh, God, Rowie. Yeah, that. Wow. Yikes. We have to go find them.

[B]

So it was cold.

[A]

We were in our pajamas. We had to put on galoshes and overcoats.

[B]

Well, I just need to frame up the situation. Which is that the bees won't be okay. No, they will not be okay.

[A]

No.

[B]

And that's the horror. Like, the dawning horror is I ordered the bees. It's like being a fair weather friend, a fair weather orderer of live bees in a box coming to your house. And I had thought, we will release them. Because someone on Facebook did it and gave me the idea. And they're like, in Mexico, probably, we just release bees and it helps the pollinator. Oh, it was so. It was such a happy Sound of Music la la la the hills are alive kind of moment that I was having. I thought, I didn't know you could order bees.

[A]

No, I did not either.

[B]

I did not know that. So at some point before Googling accidentally ordered live bees, I googled how to order live bees. Unfortunately.

[A]

And here's the thing. You thought two things. You thought, number one, when there's a 70 degree day, it's over. Number two, you thought and you articulated this. I just assumed that the people who mail bees around the country would never mail them to a place that was 12 degrees.

[B]

Don't they love their bees?

[A]

Yeah, but I think you're putting too much of the burden on them, to be honest.

[B]

The bees won't survive.

[A]

Maybe you would set them loose in a greenhouse. They don't know.

[B]

They literally have my address.

[A]

They have kids too. They have to, like, they have to feed their families by mailing bees. That's how it works, I guess. I don't know about this industry.

[B]

So in my mind there was like, maybe if we can just rescue them from the cold night and keep them alive in their box. Yeah, but maybe I could put them in a little room or something. Until the weather got nice.

[A]

We were looking it up and it was so sweet. It's like, release them into the flowers. No, that's not gonna work. Release them into. I thought we could release them into my house. It's separate. No, I don't really want that either. And then it was. The other alternative was let them out, keep them confined in something, but immediately give them sugar water because they're starving. And I was like, oh, no, we have to get them out of the box and feed them. But on the other hand, they're.

[B]

They're in a box and maybe they

[A]

put some food in there with. We don't know about these things. This is a dark underbelly of American society. The B mailing.

[B]

I probably ordered them on the dark web. Now that I think about it, somebody's

[A]

going to take that out of context. Quote you and, like, try to cancel you with it.

[B]

It's too much work.

[A]

Walk a mile in my shoes. Here's the thing, though. We determined that we had to go get them. We morally had to.

[B]

Yeah. And this was like the middle of the night, by which I mean about 9, 15.

[A]

Oh, my God. Can you imagine if you had. If you'd remembered before Karen went to bed, she would have been hysterical. She would have crashed the car. Yeah, she would have. She could not have coped.

[B]

No. So it was just us, it was just Marty and me. Never, like the most sensible combination in

[A]

our pajamas and our overcoats, driving to get the bees to, like, be potential bee corpses.

[B]

I know. Oh, my God, the guilt, like, I cannot. I can't overemphasize. It was not furious.

[A]

It was not funny for her. It was kind of funny for me.

[B]

But weren't you worried about the.

[A]

I was worried about the bees. But I did have a real, like a moment of despair. But then I thought, look, if they're all dead, we'll order two boxes come spring and we will make sure that they survive. We will do whatever it takes to replenish the bee population that we have.

[B]

You know, just because the blood wasn't on your hands. So it was for you to say, like, we'll get two boxes of bees, just have another child.

[A]

Like, well, yeah, but somebody's got to play that role, you know, Somebody's got to do. Anyway, we got the box. There it was just a little ordinary looking box. Tiny, like smaller than.

[B]

Well, it wasn't tiny. It was like the size of a paperback.

[A]

Mail chopsticks in it or something.

[B]

What? Such a random.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

It's the thing you would mail a paperback book in. That's the size that it was.

[A]

No, you wouldn't put a paperback book in a box. Just wrap it, Marty. It's life beads. We gotta put them in a box. They'll get squished. I don't book in a box. Anyway, damn it. We went down there and we braved the cold and it was fearful and we got those bees and we brought them in and then we put them.

[B]

We put them with our babies.

[A]

We put them with the tomatoes, which probably would have eaten them by morning if we hadn't been so terrified that we.

[B]

We left them in the box.

[A]

We put them in. We didn't know what to do. Like, let them out and they get out in the house and then we have to swat them or die. Like, what?

[B]

I sent a frenzied email to the people who'd sold me the bees.

[A]

And then by this time it's like one in the morning and I was just.

[B]

And it was literally, I got the email. Congratulations, your order has been delivered. And I'm like, oh, live bees.

[A]

Why did you let me do that?

[B]

It's freezing.

[A]

It's winter.

[B]

What are you doing? How are you making a living doing this? This is not ethical. I've got these. What am I going to do? Where do I put them? How do I. What can I do?

[A]

It's an eight page email.

[B]

And she wrote back, but I didn't get the reply until the morning.

[A]

Well, you wouldn't really.

[B]

No, I went, I went to bed. I shouldn't have even, I shouldn't have

[A]

even to the bears. They're up all night. Oh.

[B]

So I sent the email. We put the. I was so, so distraught, but I just somehow went to sleep and you went off to your.

[A]

Hello, bears. Hello.

[B]

And off you went over to your place. I went to my place. We, we all like got under our many covers because it was freezing. And then that, that was that. But then by morning. Yeah, two things had happened.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

One was that I'd got an email from the woman who sold me the bees. Surprisingly lacking in guilt and shame and

[A]

like, just must be a psychopath. Right? Yeah. How. How could you?

[B]

Awful. I mean, just cold, like, cold woman. She was like, this is what she said. Well, you could put, you could put them in the fridge for a couple of weeks. She said, some will die.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I was just like, put them in the fridge. And then I was like, some not. I wanted to put them in like the bath.

[A]

It's really good. You didn't Rob.

[B]

No, I know, but, but you. That was the second thing that had happened by morning is you had had an idea.

[A]

I had an idea because we two, we have two dear friends of the Sapphic persuasion, that is lesbo friends who live in a southern state. And I knew, I mean, this is a person who has, who sent me for my birthday, two persimmons. Saplings that are even tinier than the bear stick you gave me that. She stuck you.

[B]

I worked on that bear stick.

[A]

Well, maybe a bear will come and eat that first and then move on to me. It's like a chopstick, only you could never chop anything with it. No. So good. I thought, okay, this is a person. She sent me a persimmon. Two persimmon saplings started after she ate the persimmon and then she started them off as seeds so I've got these two tiny little trees that I desperately planted when they came in the mail wrapped in wet, like, paper towels to keep them alive.

[B]

So you were in the mode of. This is someone for whom the male can provide unusual, unusual young live creatures

[A]

that have to be then kept alive. Oh, my God. Trying to plant those trees before, because I had to get. I was supposed to get leaf litter and then put soil on it. And it was so snowy outside, the only places I could find leaf litter were under parked cars that the neighbors had left there for a while.

[B]

Can you imagine, like, catching Martha Beck under your car in your car park in the dirt of winter, like, frantically scrabbling around, collecting leaves, dead leaves from the fall.

[A]

A long. It took a lot of cars. It was cold. It was. It was difficult and it was embarrassing, but I did. I think they're gonna make it. Oh.

[B]

Anyway, we probably should have told people why we're telling them this story. It just occurs to me.

[A]

All right. I got so carried away. No, we'll get there. We're about to get there.

[B]

Just bear with us.

[A]

Bear with us. It's like the. It's like the old, you know, Greek classic poems. There's a lot of. They did this and this and this, and they stabbed everyone. And then there's a point. But it only comes after nine. And anecdotes. Okay, so we're almost there. By morning, I decided we're gonna send those things straight down to our friends in the south. So I write to them frantically. Oh, my God. Ro has ordered live bees. We need to get them to you. They may already be frozen to death.

[B]

Look.

[A]

What? And then we drove to the post office. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

And you said, we might need to get a hive and all these things. And I'm like, no, Marty, no, don't tell them. We're gonna get them a hive and we're gonna do all these things. It's too.

[A]

Have to get them to a flower. And. And then Karen reads about it. She's like, oh, my God. You're going to need all kinds of permissions. We need this certified at the state board. We need to get. The USDA has to be involved. You cannot put those things in the mail. We will all go to prison because they have to be certified.

[B]

Yeah. And we. And you and I were like. We had been down to the post box, like, in the middle of the night. We were, like, so far past that. We were like, the law meant nothing to us at this point. We were on a Mission from God to save these live being a box.

[A]

And we sent them down, and I started frantically texting my friend, who was not at home, was staying somewhere else. He's like, I will drive home to try to get the bees. So they drove home, these two sapphic ladies.

[B]

Hang on. But, like, it didn't all happen instantaneously. We went to the post office. We mailed the bees. I want to say there was a really beautiful moment when I was carrying the box.

[A]

True.

[B]

And we were walking. This was the next day, and we were walking, and I could feel the bees.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And you said, feel this. And you handed me the box. And coming from the box was this sort of silvery vibration. I thought, they're flying around in there. This is amazing. So anyway, we send them off to our friends, who were ecstatic. They were just. They sent a whole bunch of gifts of bees. Bees. We've always wanted bees.

[B]

They were like, you have. Like, you have asked the right people. We are here for this task.

[A]

They showed up, and then they, like, rushed home. They upended their lives. They got the bees. I'm like, I had to do something online. And I was like, rose says they'll die if you don't set them free in a field of flowers right now. And then one of them wrote back and said, and to both of us. And you read the part of the text that said, no.

[B]

She said. She wrote to me, and she said, all is well. Not a single bug died that I could see. And I was like, oh, that's right. Glad the bees are okay. And then she just didn't reply, but

[A]

she wrote back to me. Not a single bug, not a single individual died of the ladybugs in this box. And I have to say, she, too, felt a strange and silvery glow coming from it before she opened it and found a bunch of baby ladybugs. Girl bugs.

[B]

I didn't order bees. And that's when I had the thought. Did I. Did I maybe order ladybugs? Live ladybugs? Because that would make more sense. Because it's actually too cold for bees up here. Maybe it was. And then I looked up the order.

[A]

Oh, who would have thought, right?

[B]

It never crossed. And, yeah, there'd been ladybugs all along. There wasn't bees.

[A]

Yeah, it was very, very nice and something of a letdown to our friends, I dare to say, but ladybugs are wonderful. But why don't you like having them hibernate in your bedroom?

[B]

Those aren't ladybugs. Those are Asian lady beetles. And they Are invasive and they bite and they leave a smell and they leave a stain. And that's what I was trying to undo. I was trying to correct the ecology of our whole, like, environment because we've been overrun by Asian lady beetles.

[A]

And here we get to our point, like an hour in.

[B]

I don't know if we're really going to get.

[A]

No, we do have a point. We have a point.

[B]

Ish.

[A]

The point is that both you and I, pretty much from infancy when they first told us the rainforests were being chopped down like faster than you can even imagine, we didn't cope. And yeah, and oil slicks and species extinction and climate change, Neither one of us could cope. We were children who ended up in the corner rocking and keening over these things. And I'm not even joking now, it was like serious meltdown territory. And it went on and on because what are you gonna do? Like, I would go to my grandmother's house because we didn't have a tv and I'd watch Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom where Marlon Perkins, a white haired man, would send his assistant Jim out to wrestle anacondas and whatnot. And then at the end they would always say, the anaconda's territory has been severely, you know, and every single time they'd get to that, oh, ugh, and I'm super old now and it's been going on forever. Anyway, you and I both were like, we have to do something about this. And I think we bought into a very prominent facet of the culture that we both were raised in, which is

[B]

if something is wrong, go shopping online.

[A]

Well, there is that, but it's this idea that we've got to do something about these vast problems. Colony collapse among bees. Right. And if the pollinators die, a third of our food is unavailable and we all die. Like, it's horrific. And you see all these terrifying things and you feel bad for the bees and you feel bad for the trees and you feel bad for the ocean. You feel bad. You don't. You feel bad all the time. Right? And there's kind of a belief. And this is where I switched in the middle of my life. I was absolutely overwhelmed by despair and anxiety and rage that it was all happening. And I thought that was how to make it better. And I thought, you know, we do all kinds of things. We don't use paper towels. We use like reusable cloth things.

[B]

Imagine.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, and you insisted, no paper towels. Kitchen roll in Australian, because it harms the environment. And every time I Wipe things up with this cloth. And I don't use a paper towel, I think. All right, well, I guess this is helping. But even if we got those bees and we set up a beehive and we kept them alive until the bears came or whatever, everything feels like you're trying to bail out the ocean with a teaspoon. Right? And we both have this. Have dragged around this ball and chain of panic and woe and desperation. Thinking. Because I think this is the cultural agreement that that's how we're going to make things better, by going to a place of desperate striving against immeasurable odds and thinking I have to do everything I can. The whole Keystone Cops routine is what follows. Because you never do anything right. And I mean, one never does anything right. You think it's right? It's the second fuck you in the podcast of all time.

[B]

Wow. The whole Keystone Cops routine ensues because you never do anything right.

[A]

Wow. I mean, one. I ordered one box of bees. Jesus Christ. No, I mean, we know some people who have poured every ounce of energy and done a lot of things really right, like repairing the wildland, like at Londolozi and around there. Really, really devoting their whole lives to rebuilding the wilderness. And it can be done. And I can see, oh, people who really devote their lives to it, they can get it done. But I've also talked to them about their exhaustion, even at the. At the level of impact they've been able to have, which is immense. Still, they're cutting down more rainforest every minute.

[B]

Not them personally.

[A]

Not. Jesus Christ. I am losing the plot here. Look, I'm speaking.

[B]

They try so hard.

[A]

They just keep putting.

[B]

Oh, dear.

[A]

Pronouns are a problem. I think we've established that in our society today. Pronouns, it's not you. You do everything wrong with it. They cut down the rainforest. Is that one does everything wrong and somebody's cutting down the rain for us? I don't know. But I really stipulated for me that this is a horrifying situation and I really want us to try to change it. But the way of trying to change it is where I think people slide into a cultural trap that really shuts down your ability to be part of the solution. And that is the trap where you're panicked. It's where we were when we thought we'd killed this box of bees. So my whole life I've been trying to work from this place of sort of panic and outrage and trying too hard and not knowing what to do and doing things that didn't work or had unintended effects. And it's painful. It's not fun.

[B]

The thing for me is that I'm really good at solving problems in the moment. Like, for instance, I recently ordered a box of live bees. The problem was that, weirdly, well, there are a couple of problems. Looking back, it was winter. It was the middle of winter in the Hudson Valley. Not a good time to bring, you know, bees into your world. Two, they weren't bees. That was another issue. Three, in my attempts to save the world by shopping online for bees box of life bees, I ended up, like, shipping bees all over the country. And we were, like, sending those bees priority in airplanes. They went in airplanes and like, the. Even ladybugs have wings. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's. That's, like, redundant. And so then that's a carbon footprint that is big. Like, I gave those bees, like, and they're bees. And here's the thing. They're not even bees, right? And their carbon footprint is massive because of me and having to send them to Georgia. I don't know where they came from, but I bet it was warm. And then they came up to New York and then they went down to Georgia. And they're very happy now. Yeah, they've gotten used to the fact that they're ladybugs.

[A]

That's right. I think even Ladybugs have Wings would be a good title for, like, a short story for bees to read.

[B]

I feel really moved by that.

[A]

Anyway. And the ladybugs would think maybe we were talking about men. Bees, men, bugs have. But even ladybugs, that's a stretch. Okay, let's get back to this. This is the thing. There's a kind of like, let's be outraged. Let's get stressed. Let's do our. Let's serve this mission. And there's almost like. But the evil is always, like, climbing up on you. The destruction of the ecosystem is so consistent and everything. And I believe that we're going to make bigger messes whenever we come from that energy. So what I think is more important, this is what switched in my life. I think the energy of your intention is actually the most powerful footprint you can leave. And I don't think I'm just, like, skating out of the problem here. I'll tell you why not. But what are you going to say?

[B]

There's like a cosmic field, and intention feeds into that is what I believe. And wanting to do a good thing does not get lost in some sort of Machiavellian arithmetic.

[A]

That.

[B]

That Cuts off, you know, if you didn't actually save the world, if they weren't actually bees, like all this quibbling at the tiny details, like, what is that creature that you know? But I really wanted to help. And that's something.

[A]

It is something. And I mean, it was about the middle of my life that I started doing research on shamanism and like traditional ways and lore. And I really became even more woo woo. It was already woo woo. And what I started to see was that the moment you set intention, something shifts. And I'd go to like a sweat lodge or something. And whatever you intended going in there seemed to be served in a way that was quite emphatically rammed home by the fact that you were in this unusual ceremonial space. And I started to actually believe that human intention, you know, we are such goofballs, you know, little monkeys running around doing things with our hands and feet and just messing stuff up right, left and center. But we also have this capacity to intend. And I do think that that feeds into a natural system, not just a ceremonial state. And I actually have a science to talk about connected to it. All right, sound asleep.

[B]

So we want to save ecosystems, the world. Yeah, natural world. And. But you don't, don't do that by getting outraged about them. I'm just trying to follow the path.

[A]

It's very good to like sum it up here. So

[B]

I'm already forgotten.

[A]

Okay. So we're in this time of ecological destruction and devastation. And there's also like crimes against humanity. And I mean, there's just horrible stuff going on everywhere on a global scale. And we have brains that can just barely like peek at the global scale and freak out. Right. And we're so tiny individually or even two of us in the middle of the night in our galoshes, and we're tiny. And most everything we do, we do badly or it ends up having unintended bad consequences. So there's this place of existential despair. I still think that if you can clean up what's going on in your own energy, if you can come out of the despair into a place of love, it doesn't even have to be a place of hope. If you come out of despair and into a place of love, you start to leave a footprint, carbon, energetic, whatever, you make a million tiny choices that have escalating effects on the world at large.

[B]

It's like we're little projector screens. And what our hearts actually wish does get projected out into the sky a little bit. I think it does. And other people can See it and the. And it has some effect towards what we intend, even if it doesn't look like that in the strictly material world around us.

[A]

And here's the thing that I read that gave me a lot of hope. And it came from some people who were studying robotics. They had this little robot that they'd made.

[B]

Robots Always Give Me Hope.

[A]

That, along with Even Ladybugs have Wings should be the title of a song. Okay. Robots Always Give Me Hope.

[B]

Robots Always Give Me Hope.

[A]

An instant classic. No. They were working with this robot, and they found that when it was in a situation that was too complex and there was all kinds of weird stuff going on as it tried to figure out a problem, the electronics in it would go into a state of chaos. And they found that trying to control the chaos with, like, massive surges of energy or interventions doesn't work. But what?

[B]

Try to control chaos?

[A]

No, it's a bad mistake. Jurassic park will happen.

[B]

Life finds a way.

[A]

Yes, it does. So what they found was that a system in chaos is just one little nudge away from total collapse, which, that's what we've been told our whole lives. But a system in chaos is also one tiny nudge away from something completely different. So they found that if they gave a very slight nudge to the robot when it was in chaos, okay.

[B]

Like with their elbow, I think they

[A]

just sent it a little command.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It was clearer for me when they talked about spacecraft, and they would talk about it getting into a chaotic gravitational field or set of gravitational fields. And when it was well and truly messed with in its little spacecraft brain, they would give a chance, tiny shove from one of the thrusters, and it would just move it the tiniest bit. And what happens? And they showed this in the robotics thing. They showed it with spacecraft, and they showed it with, like, biological systems, like a heart that is going into an arrhythmia and getting chaotic nerve signals. If you just give it a little electronic punch at a certain point. What happens in all these things is that there is an underlying coherent system that is, like, robust and healthy and optimal. And these tiny nudges from a highly ordered direction cause the underlying order of the system to reestablish itself. So the system, then it heals itself, and it does this thousands of times faster than if they tried to control it with a lot of force. It's called the gentle nudge theory of chaos control. One final example. I think this will probably really land with a lot of people. If you have somebody whose nervous system is in total Dysregulation. They're having a panic attack. There's a kid having a total meltdown tantrum, and one very peaceful being enters that kid's field of experience. Like a dog. That's a very calm, gentle, quiet dog, or a horse or a parent, if the parent is calm enough. But too often we see the kid melting down and we kind of go into a meltdown ourselves. And I think that's what we've all been doing globally with the whole ecosystems and everything. Like, we see it dysregulating and it dysregulates us, and then we just run around doing dysregulated things politically.

[B]

That's also a good characterization of, like, the state of the left right now in American society anyway.

[A]

It absolutely is. And so. And we think we're going to help from that place, but it's just Keystone Cops. Right. But then if you can get ordered, if you can get coherent in yourself, if you can go to a place of maximum calm and enjoyment. Enjoyment, enthusiasm. Like these positive emotional states that really have no downside, which is.

[B]

Which is linking up with the spirit of the intention that you're talking about.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's like the intention towards goodness. Linking up with that in an emotional way or in a spiritual way.

[A]

Almost like, for me, yeah, totally spiritual.

[B]

Connecting with that spirit of goodness and hope and love. That that's then, you know, contributing and that's the nudge.

[A]

Yeah. And having experienced that myself, of being completely, utterly dysregulated and then having almost miraculously, something brushed against me that was beautiful and loving and ordered, and it was like everything sort of came back to making sense and there's suddenly joy where there was only depression or whatever before. Having been through that a few times, I think we are microcosms of all

[B]

kinds of macrocosms and vice versa.

[A]

Say more.

[B]

Well, I don't know. There's us and bigger than us and then there's us and smaller than us, and we're just somewhere in the middle, floating around with our, like, bumbling effects and our really good intentions a lot of the time, a lot of us.

[A]

You know what else bumbles? Tell me? Bees.

[B]

Fox Alive Bees.

[A]

Fox Alive Bees. Now. So we kind of bumblebeed around for a while, but then I was reading this research and I thought, you know what? If all of our folks out there in podcast listening world, if they all feel just a slight degree of. More back to the inherent order that brings joy and a sense of health and vitality and enthusiasm. If we just move in that direction. It leaves a footprint we can't yet measure. But I believe it is very, very real and actually very powerful.

[B]

Me, too. And not acknowledged. Like, not acknowledged. As though if the outcome of any situation isn't measurable, it's not in existence. And I feel like that does such a disservice to the beauty of people's goodness in how it is expressed.

[A]

Because we could get hate mail here. How dare you tell us to stop worrying and feel joyful and enthusiastic when you've been destroying beef? And don't you know you've got to get out there and work for goodness?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

I think that's the wrong footprint. I don't think anything that is generative and nourishing comes from that energy.

[B]

Yeah, I agree. I think that we acknowledge all of it. All of it. Absolutely. The outcomes, absolutely. What we can create. But we certainly don't. I don't think it's of our true nature to value reacting against something that's unjust and make that more worthy than reacting in the spirit of creating something that is just and good. Even if. Yeah, it's. It's. Does. You know, even if it turns out that somehow it might be ladybugs and not bees or whatever. Like, whatever. Metaphorically, let's just say.

[A]

But, you know, I just wrote this book where I talk about how I think the way to lower your anxiety is to enhance your creativity. Thank you. Yeah, I did.

[B]

Rings a bell.

[A]

And I get angry males saying, how dare you say that I should drop my anxiety and do something creative? You know, I am not doing service to those who suffer if I drop my anxiety about them and feel good in my life. And I'm like, if you broke your leg and I came upon you and I was the only person there to help you, do you really want me to break my own leg and lie there on the ground screaming with you? So I really get how you're feeling. Wouldn't you rather I said, let me do something creative about this situation and make a phone call or run for help or something? There is really this identification of suffering as a form of helping the suffering. And I think it comes partly from, like, Christianity. Like, the guy on the cross is the one helping us all the most. But he did it with his love, not with his, oh, well, now I'm in some very deep water. What are you gonna say?

[B]

Do you wanna be right or do you wanna make it better? I don't know. Like, that's. That's where I kind of land in it all. And I want to try making it better. Even with the risk that. Oh, no. The certainty that I'm gonna fuck it up.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Repeatedly, yes. Especially if I take any action at all after Trinity time.

[A]

That's true. That is so true.

[B]

Take the Internet away from me.

[A]

Just send you out as bear bait at that point. But to do it with, to seek first the conservation of one's own joy and then let that be the. And even the restoration. As our African friends always say. This is not conservation, it's restoration. But they're also some of the funniest, most joyful people that you can find who come from a place of goodwill and not of despair. And I think. I think that's the way it won.

[B]

I think that's how we stay wild. We hope you're enjoying Bewildered. If you're in the USA and want to be notified when a new episode comes out, text the word wild to 570-873-0144. We're also on Instagram. Our handle is Bewildered podcast. You can follow us to get updates, hear funny snippets and outtakes, and chat with other fans of the show. Bewildered is produced by Scott Forster with support from the brilliant team at mbi. And remember, if you're having fun, please rate and review and stay wild.

[A]

Hello, the lovely peoples. This is Marty Martha, inviting you to a free masterclass that I have made called five paths to your purpose. Probably the most common question I get from people is, how do I find my purpose? Why don't I feel that I'm on purpose? Well, it turns out there are certain things you have to do to find your purpose, and I broke them down into five and I made a little masterclass about it. So if you'd like to see it, just go to marthaveck.compurpose and you will be able to watch it without any charge at all.