Bewildered: Trusting Your Spider Senses

Hosts: Martha Beck & Rowan Mangan
Date: February 11, 2026

Episode Overview

In this engaging and deeply honest episode, Martha Beck and Rowan Mangan explore the intricate dance between our innate instincts—our "spider senses"—and the overwhelming influence of cultural expectations. Through personal (and often hilarious) anecdotes about household chaos, painting mishaps, and awkward interactions with service professionals, they highlight how easy it is to override our intuitions in favor of being polite or socially correct. The conversation flows from comic domestic disasters to profound insights about energy perception, integrity, and self-trust, offering listeners both laughter and actionable wisdom.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Energy Sensitivity and Psychic Instincts

• [00:09] – [00:41]
  The episode opens with a conversation about the “energetic fields” between people—how we’re all sensitive to energy and could be considered “psychic” if we just allowed ourselves to listen.

  “If we relax into it, we are what most people would call psychic. And it’s just normal. We don’t let ourselves.” — Martha Beck (B), [00:24]
  The issue? Culture tells us not to trust these instincts, often shaming or belittling the “knowing” that doesn’t come with rational proof.

2. Overridden Instincts: The Culture Trap

• [01:05] – [06:45]
  Much of the episode’s humor centers on stories of personal chaos: Martha’s relentless rogue painting ("quadrant rehab, shaving the carpet," [05:48]) and Rowan’s need for routine ("Trinity Time", [09:22]). These domestic tales highlight how everyday pressures and societal correctness cause us to ignore what we know, even about something as simple as what makes us comfortable at home.

• Memorable Quote:

  “We push the essential self away in order to follow the rules of our socialization, because that is survival to a child, to a human. We need the acceptance of our group. And so we override the essential self with the social self a lot. A lot.” — Martha Beck, [38:29]

3. The House Call Story: Overwhelmed by Outsiders

• [16:11] – [32:00]
  Rowan recounts a particularly overwhelming morning: a parade of cleaners, building scientists, and movers crowding their home. On edge, she tries to manage everyone’s needs with extreme hospitality, all the while feeling internally freaked out for reasons she can't fully name.

  “I was freaked out. I was freaked the fuck out. I think it’s fair to say.” — Rowan Mangan (A), [21:45]

  Martha, returning to the chaos, describes an unsettling interaction with one of the movers:

  “He just stared at me in a very strange way. And he said, ‘What?’ And I said, ‘Can I get you a jacket? Are you cold?’ And he said, ‘I’m not even here.’” — Martha Beck, [24:20]

  The conversation pivots to recognizing “spider senses” that signal when something energetically feels wrong, even before it can be logically articulated.

4. When Social Self Overrides Instinct

• [32:03] – [41:36]
  Martha and Rowan analyze how, when energy feels off, their habitual responses differ. Rowan’s impulse is to override instinct for the sake of politeness; Martha’s is to pay attention, shaped by years of building self-trust.

  “I walked into your room…looked at the scenario and immediately just went, no, no. But it’s not an intellectual no. It’s not an emotional no. It’s physical, but it’s also just energetic.” — Martha Beck, [27:55]

  They reference Gavin de Becker’s "The Gift of Fear" to illustrate how societal pressures cause us to rationalize away instinctual alarms—a potentially dangerous habit.

5. Exercising and Authorizing Your Knowing

• [43:33] – [55:12] The hosts agree: Everyone has intuitive signals, but culture and trauma can teach us to ignore or deny them.

  “If you’re baffled by… negative feeling… there’s denial at work somewhere.” — Martha Beck, [58:04]

  Rowan asks how to “come to her senses” and learn to recognize what her body is telling her, especially in overwhelming moments. Martha suggests visualizing the intuitively distressed part of oneself as a child needing assurance:

  “The first thing you have to say is, I believe you. That is the huge block that keeps us in denial… Just say, ‘I believe you.’” — Martha Beck, [59:37]

  As they discuss these “integrity cleanses,” Martha encourages listeners to give themselves permission to know and feel what they know, even when it doesn’t conform to rational or cultural expectations.

6. On Belonging to Yourself

• [65:41] – [66:11] The episode culminates with an affirmation of self-belonging. Instead of always seeking to fit in, true integrity—and genuine safety—comes from believing yourself.

  “There’s a joy of finally belonging because you belong to yourself. And if you refuse to belong to yourself in order to belong in the group, you don’t belong.” — Martha Beck, [65:57]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Culture vs. Intuition:

  “If I followed the culture’s rules … the vibe is that the culture would say, ‘You’re crazy. You do not have the evidence to say anything about this. You’re an emotional female person who is a little bit cuckoo.’” — Rowan Mangan, [40:58]

• On Overriding Instincts:

  “You will be countercultural. You will sound like a nut half the time.” — Martha Beck, [55:13]

• On Psychic Ability as Human Nature:

  “It’s not even like, I have a special gift. You’re just human. And you start to pick things up and you can start to guide your life toward things that feel deeply good.” — Martha Beck, [64:00]

• On Linking Integrity with Oneness:

  “If we see ourselves as part of a greater whole and not as these little individual entities … that’s a way of becoming more in integrity with consciousness.” — Rowan Mangan, [53:25]

Practical Takeaways

• Tune In: If you feel unsettled or agitated for “no reason,” ask yourself: “What do I almost know? What am I afraid to know?”
• Acknowledge the Child Within: Visualize the anxious or fearful part of you as a child. Affirm: “I believe you.”
• Recognize Denial: Know that internal bafflement and unexplained distress are likely signs that your intuition (“essential self”) is being overridden by your need to conform (“social self”).
• Err on the Side of Self-Trust: It’s safer to acknowledge your spider sense and act accordingly—without making external accusations—than to rationalize away warning signals.
• Belong to Yourself: True belonging starts within; cultural acceptance is fleeting, but self-integrity is lasting.

Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:09 | Energy sensitivity and cultural inhibition | | 05:48 | Martha’s painting saga—perfectionism and the urge to fix spaces | | 16:11 | Rowan’s story: Too many people in the house | | 24:44 | Martha’s unsettling interaction with a mover | | 27:26 | Martha’s energetic “no”—how intuition works in real time | | 29:29 | Gavin de Becker’s elevator analogy – trusting fear | | 38:29 | Martha explains the essential vs. social self | | 55:13 | Authorizing yourself to believe your own signals | | 65:56 | Final thoughts: Belonging to yourself, integrity |

Conclusion

This episode is a playful yet profound masterclass in reconnecting with your intuition, even (especially) when the world tells you to ignore it. Martha and Rowan offer encouragement, tools, and personal testimony to inspire listeners to trust their spider senses—reclaiming inner authority, feeling safer, and living with true integrity.

Final Word:

“We believe ourselves. That’s the way I think that we’re all going to be able to stay wild.” — Rowan Mangan, [66:09]