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Ali Riley
You are the queen of the clapback.
Sydney LaRue
God forbid a woman take care of her well being.
Ali Riley
I don't read the comments. I know you're just for my mental health.
Sydney LaRue
I never hit send and regret it. Hello.
Ali Riley
What? Welcome back to another episode of the BFFR show.
Sydney LaRue
Before we get into it. Oh, we're gonna get into it. Yeah, it's a big one today.
Ali Riley
It's a big one. But before that, may we remind you to subscribe to the show on YouTube, follow us on all social platforms FFRshow. And follow us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
Sydney LaRue
We don't care where you're watching, how you're watching, as long as you're watching and listening to us.
Ali Riley
Please, if you haven't already, rate and.
Sydney LaRue
Review the show five stars only.
Ali Riley
It helps others find us and we definitely want to be found. Also, you can call us. And the BFFR hotline was popping off last week. Keep them coming. The number is 1-833-txt-BFFR.
Sydney LaRue
That's 1-833-898-2337. We love hearing from you guys and your question or comment might be on the show.
Ali Riley
And we do love the voice messages. The last two episodes, they've been so amazing. But we understand if you don't want to call in, you can still email us@feedbackffrshow.com I. I think it's time Sid hit us with the affirmation.
Sydney LaRue
We can struggle and still move forward. Boom.
Ali Riley
Okay, well, here we go.
Sydney LaRue
Let's start this off.
Ali Riley
Sid, you recently made headlines for one of your witty clapbacks.
Sydney LaRue
What one?
Ali Riley
It was one about being on the injury report for Angel City on Twitter and it said, please release Sidney. No point wasting a roster spot on someone who will not play.
Sydney LaRue
And you said, I think I said, God forbid a woman take care of her well being.
Ali Riley
You are the queen of the clapback. Why the clapbacks? Why are you in the comments?
Sydney LaRue
You know, only when I have time and when something really just gets me, I'm like, you know what? Let me do my work. And that I do.
Ali Riley
What is the response? I mean, you get a lot of support. Do you ever get a response or a reply from the person you.
Sydney LaRue
Yes, usually they delete their comment or delete their account. That's happened before too. Or they like message me and DM me and be like, oh, I didn't mean it like that, blah, blah, blah. Yes, you did.
Ali Riley
Your responses are so witty. Is this something that you recommend that we all do when someone trolls us?
Sydney LaRue
Only if you're really good at it. No. The answer is no. It's stressful.
Ali Riley
Do the clapbacks come spontaneously?
Sydney LaRue
Yeah. Like I said, it's gotta be, like, something that really annoys me or pisses me off.
Ali Riley
Do you ever hit send and regret it?
Sydney LaRue
I never hit send and regret it.
Ali Riley
One of my favorite clapbacks of yours, which I will never forget, was in response to this beautiful campaign you did with lego. Do you remember this?
Sydney LaRue
I do remember this. The guy commented, like, y' all didn't have the budget for a father figure or something like that.
Ali Riley
Was. It was Sid doing Lego. It was Sid building Lego with her kids. And the music and just the vibe, it was so good. It was so powerful. And then this guy comes in and says this.
Sydney LaRue
And Sid says, and I had time. I had time that day. When I have time, I'm coming after you. So I said to him, I'm sorry. He has a job. And this was about the kids. And I. If you had my budget, your hairline wouldn't be receding down your back.
Ali Riley
And you meant every word.
Sydney LaRue
I meant every word.
Ali Riley
And he apologized.
Sydney LaRue
Oh, I didn't mean something like that. I didn't mean it. I don't know. But they. That's what they always do, and that's what we talk about, right? It's like, you read these comments about yourself that are not true, and it's like, you have to just take it. No, I say it to our face. Say exactly. Stand ten toes down and say exactly what you say on the little Internet. To us, to me.
Ali Riley
Well, I, I, I don't read the comments. I just for my mental health, I think, especially coming to Angel City and the engagement we have, which I am proud of, and I think it shows the growth of the game. But when we would lose and things people were saying about me and my teammates, I, I can't look at Angel City's Instagram, which is a shame, because I love this club.
Sydney LaRue
And I love this club, too.
Ali Riley
I love the content we post, but the starting lineup, halftime after the game, I just. I can't do it. But I did. I did my very first clapback this year. Oh.
Sydney LaRue
So why. Why this year? What did you just feel?
Ali Riley
So, like I said, I don't go in the comments. But if something surprises me when I'm not expecting someone to be negative. So the Football Ferns, my national team, they posted a picture from my wedding. Beautiful wedding. It was really, really sweet. And it said, special congratulations to Ali Riley on getting married this weekend. Incredible to see, despite a Devastating few days in her hometown, L. A. Okay, so the fire, the wedding. I'm coming back from this injury. It's been a year, and someone commented, good time to retire. So this is just. I'm not expecting to see this. I don't know. To stay away from the comments from this post.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah. And I'm like, on your wedding day.
Ali Riley
Is this about me as an athlete? Is this about women in general? I don't know. But I responded, whoa, exclamation point.
Sydney LaRue
That's not a clapback at all.
Ali Riley
That's terrible.
Sydney LaRue
That doesn't count.
Ali Riley
It's time for a break, but we will be back with more BFFR right after this.
Sydney LaRue
Whoa.
Ali Riley
So this week on BFFR show, we really want to dive into the mental health of an athlete. Our struggles and challenges with our own mental health and just the guidance we've received and also some of our advice for not just athletes out there, but people. And we've obviously supported each other through a lot.
Sydney LaRue
Through thick and thin.
Ali Riley
Thick and thin. A lot of thick and. Sid, you recently took mental health leave, and you have shared a little bit about it, but I think we want to get into it a little bit more and also just shine a light on this process. We want to shout out Carrie Riccaro. She fought for this, to make sure that the NWSL had a policy for mental health. And so all of the athletes in this league can take up to six months paid mental leave. So athletes don't have to worry about their salary and their contracts and can take care of themselves.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah.
Ali Riley
So how was the process for you?
Sydney LaRue
The process was long because I had been going through stuff for a while, and I just, like, didn't feel like myself. And I wasn't playing like myself. Like, I was terrible. Like, I was a terrible soccer player. And I remember driving to training and being like, today's gonna be good. And then it was shit. And then I would cry on my way back, and it just kind of, like, took over my life. There was a lot of things that happened during preseason. I got in a really bad accident. My. Both my kids were really sick, and I just, like, couldn't, Like, I couldn't catch up. There was just too much on my plate. And usually I'm fine. I'm fine. That's the. That's my word. That's my words that I use. But I wasn't. But yeah, I just think that no matter what is going on, I think just if you feel off, like, get the help that you need. I'm really proud of, like, where I am now, this is always going to be a work in progress. You know, I. I'm excited for, like, where I know I can be. And even when I did my calf, like, doing that, I would have usually lost my mind. Like, I would have lost my mind, but because I've done the work outside of this and like, with. When you take mental health leave with the nwsl, like, you have to go to therapy twice a week. So that's what I was doing. And I still continue to do that, and I probably will for a very, very long time. But therapy is so helpful. I think it's. It's changed me. It's changed the way that I deal with hard situations. And I'm just, like, so happy that, you know, I can. I can feel like myself again. And it was. Yeah, it's been a tough, tough little bit. But I'm proud of myself and I hope that my story is helpful for. For someone else who is in my position who just feels like you just got a lot on your plate and, like, ask for help. Because I never ask for help. And asking for help and getting help is the best thing that I could have done for myself and for my family and for my friends. So, yeah, please ask for help.
Ali Riley
I'm so proud of you. I think as athletes, we are looked to to be these beacons of strength and power. We don't feel like we can be vulnerable, but it's no way to live, it's no way to perform, and we are human. And I think it just helps everyone get perspective when you are so honest and. Yeah, I'm just. You're doing so much better. And you. You talked about it a couple weeks ago with how you were reacting to your calf injury. But when I was struggling with my injury, I would tell you how I was feeling and you would give me this permission. I took a short break before you did, and it was only a week. I didn't have to apply for paid leave, but I was in a really, really dark place. And when you were saying the same things, like, you couldn't hear it about yourself, and that's something like, we, it's. We support our teammates, we support our families and our friends, and we're able to say these things, but we don't give ourselves the same grace. We don't give ourselves the same permission to take a break.
Sydney LaRue
And you give, give, give, give, give.
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
You forget to, like, give.
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
Yourself what you need.
Ali Riley
Exactly. But it's just been so powerful. I feel like seeing you come Back and be happy. It was short lived because of the calf, but you will be back again. What advice would you say to someone who is feeling like it's building, it's building, but is like, I can do this or I don't need to talk to anyone.
Sydney LaRue
I think that was me for so long, right? Like, nothing's wrong, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. That was my favorite, my favorite catchphrase. I'm fine. And I wasn't like, I was really, really struggling. And I just think that as I was like going through this whole process and I got to step away from soccer for a little bit, I realized like, man, this is just a game. Like, this is really just a game. And like the whole world is out there to see and to like, feel. And I think I just put so much pressure on myself with soccer that like, it took over my whole life.
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
And I just think that sometimes you just need to take a step back and it's really hard to do, but I think it's so worth it and like, get the help when you know you need it. Like, you know when you're having a really hard time. And I felt like I can, I constantly was like, nope, nope, nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong. But you know deep down that like, something is not going the way that you planned it to go. So yes, I would, please take it from me, get the help that you need. I think going to therapy has been the best thing for me. But yeah, I hope that my story.
Ali Riley
Helps someone else and it doesn't make you less than or weak or anything negative by asking for help. Like, I think it's a very brave thing to do. It's a very smart thing to do. And as athletes, I think we forget about the person who isn't the soccer player. And we've been programmed to just try harder, work harder. Pain is gain, you know, no pain, no gain. If it doesn't hurt, it's not working. Like, that's how we are with our massages. Like, the pain we just, and we'll just run faster, we'll try harder. And this life, I mean, our careers have been really, really long, but it's still only a small part of the rest of our lives. And the day we spend on the soccer field, yes, we have long days, we're training a lot, but we live with the person for 24 hours, not just the hours at the training facility or under the lights at a game. The person that we need to take care of is the person that we spend all day with and the rest of our lives with, and the person that our children and our partners and our families and our friends that they see and they spend time with. And I also just really lost sight of that. And the psychologist that I am working with said that we talked last year when I came back from the Olympics, and I was having a really, really hard time, but my perspective was still very like, yes, this is a really hard injury. This sucks. But I was still socializing. I started to put more energy into my other passions. And he was like, yeah, you know, as long as you are able to still be happy and find joy, like, we can keep talking, but I think you're in a good place.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah.
Ali Riley
Fast forward to February. I would come home, lie in bed and cry the rest of the day. The evenings, like, I was just a completely different person. And Lucas, he didn't. He didn't have, like, the tools. He didn't really know what to say. And he was just supporting me, supporting me. And then I finally speaking to the psychologist, it was like, I no longer have a life.
Sydney LaRue
Yep.
Ali Riley
I am now only that person who is injured. That's my whole identity. That's all I think about. That's all I feel. And that was like, that was the trigger. You need to get help. You need to step away and remember what's important and get perspective. And then that changed everything. Just one week. And I was like, had processed what this injury means for my career, for my life, and found an acceptance and then was able to restart my rehab.
Sydney LaRue
And it's so crazy because we're very different. You are. Not to say that I'm not positive, but you are, like, so positive, like, willing to do whatever. And like, I am kind of a homebody. Like, I like to be alone and like, with the kids, and it's easy to fall into that. And I think when. When you were going through everything, like, it's hard to. To like, see someone that you see as like, this. This person that you look up to and then. And they deal with the same stuff you do. So it's like we have been going back and forth about, like, helping each other. And then, like you said, we forget to help help ourselves.
Ali Riley
I know.
Sydney LaRue
While we're helping each other. And I just think that that's really important that, like, when you go home and you're in bed and you're going to bed at like 7:30pm I'm like, something's wrong, Something's up, you know? But again, like, you went and got help. And I think it's so important that people know that like life isn't perfect and like no matter how people view us or how people viewed me when I was you know, coming up and young and stuff like that's not the life that we live all the time.
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
Like we're real people and we have real problems as well.
Ali Riley
You mentioned pressure and I think we feel pressure from all sides sometimes it feels like for us playing time and our contracts that's like financial stability. If we aren't playing and can't get a contract, we're not making the type of money to not work again after this. There's pressure to be good at multiple things because what we are compensated can't isn't a comfortable living for everybody. No making the national team if you don't play a game at the weekend will your coach not call you in? And the national team that can also mean additional money, that can mean resources, that can mean recognition, brand deals. There is a lot riding on playing time and getting into a game and coaches decisions and then I think a lot of our families have made a lot of sacrifices for us and the pressure of instead of an opportunity to do what we love and like oh they are so proud that I am here.
Sydney LaRue
It's.
Ali Riley
I'm going to disappoint a lot of people if I make a mistake or if I had a bad game. And I think that creeps in to all of these comments and we when we do get trolled it's like we already put so much pressure on ourselves. I'm so disappointed if I have a bad game, if I make a bad pass. Like I I'm doing so much work. Sports psychologist mental performance to be able to quickly move on after mistake to help my team to lead and communicate on the field after I have made a mistake and you finish a game and you might not have played your best but I always feel like if I gave everything I could, that's all I can do. And then you read the comments, you read what's written about you and suddenly that armor and that knowledge and all the work you've done, it just like starts to kind of fade away. Fade away because there's just so much all the time it feels like all the time. And some of our teammates are so young and it affects you and me and they haven't built up the thick skin and I don't think reading the comments and come not everyone's going to be able to make, make a joke and make a clap Back, I think. I don't know. Is this. What is this part of the job, Sid? Like, do we have to accept, ignore comments because we are quote, unquote, entertainers because we're paid to do this?
Sydney LaRue
I think, like, there's no problem saying, like, hey, she. She didn't play very well, or blah, blah, blah. But it's like, the dissecting of, like, you as a person is really, really disgusting, actually. I've never gone on someone's, like, social media and written something horrible like people do with us.
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
And it's just like, well, where. Where does that come from? Like, where would you ever think that that's okay? And it's like, they continue to do it and we continue to take it. And that's like, yeah, is that.
Ali Riley
Is that part of fandom? Like, I guess if you could say something to the fans who are commenting.
Sydney LaRue
What would I say?
Ali Riley
Yeah, what would be. Because saying don't comment like, it's never gonna happen.
Sydney LaRue
Go yourself.
Ali Riley
Said I. Look.
Sydney LaRue
You know what, though? I think it's really funny because I wish that we could do, like, a show of, like, all of these people who say all of these horrible things. And, like, you gotta play with us. You gotta. You gotta suit up. Full kit and let's play.
Ali Riley
Good show idea.
Sydney LaRue
I think that that's really. I think line up.
Ali Riley
I mean, we can find you. Yeah. We can see your. Although some are like, no photo.
Sydney LaRue
When you do that, I'm like, waste of my time. But I just.
Ali Riley
I mean, I have stopped reading comments, but I know they're out there. And especially when I am also a fan, when I am not playing. And I'm looking also to see the stats when the team is playing away. So I'm watching the game. I am following on social media as well. I want to repost when one of my teammates scores a goal. Um, and just by seeing the post, you can see a few comments. And I just think, would you say that to our face? Would you say that after a game with your daughter next to you, to me or my teammates, what you're writing on the Internet? I really don't think so. And I think some people are writing these things and then asking for our autographs and want our jerseys.
Sydney LaRue
And that's what makes it feel like, who can I even trust who. Who actually. Who actually likes us?
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
Because it feels sometimes that they don't.
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
You know, and I think that that's. We love our Angel City fans, but I also think, like, it's a tough market.
Ali Riley
Yeah. And I think that is kind of the. Is that what comes with more eyes? And we are getting more fans. We have this huge social media following. Again, is this. Does it come with the territory? But I guess we would just.
Sydney LaRue
It's always been here.
Ali Riley
We would just ask, like, to remember that we're people.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah.
Ali Riley
And.
Sydney LaRue
And you. And you can hurt our feelings.
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
Like, our feelings can get hurt.
Ali Riley
And if you are an Angel City fan, is that. Don't you want us to be successful? Like, I also wonder, like, is there a better place for this to happen than Instagram?
Sydney LaRue
Like, yeah.
Ali Riley
Can there be a forum that you have to log in? Like, the place to log in?
Sydney LaRue
You have to show your entire face where you work, and you have to.
Ali Riley
Be willing to go 1v1 against Sydney LaRue, and then you can on us all you like.
Sydney LaRue
There you go. There you go. Exactly.
Ali Riley
But Instagram is. Is really public and it is. Social media is amazing. That's how we supplement our incomes. But it also is a dark place.
Sydney LaRue
But imagine, like, going to someone else's work and being like, you fucking suck. Like, you'd be like, what? What do you mean? I'm just here. I'm just here doing my job.
Ali Riley
Yes.
Sydney LaRue
Come on, you guys.
Ali Riley
Well, I'm going to end this little bit with my favorite. It is part of a speech by Theodore Roosevelt, and it's called the man in the Arena. Obviously, he meant the woman in the arena. And it's something that I have shared with my teammates and teams for a long time, because my sports psychologist that I was working with a long time ago shared this with me. It changed my perspective on criticism and kind of the outside noise. And I'm not talking criticism from my coach or my teammates. This is the noise. And ahead of the 2023 World cup at home, a lot of pressure, a lot of eyes. We wanted to make history. And this is what I shared with the team. The woman in the arena. It is not the critic who counts, not the person who points out how the strong woman stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the woman who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who airs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds. Who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends herself in a worthy cause, who, at the best knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst if she fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Sydney LaRue
Thank you for that, Ally. This segment was tough, but we're going to take a break and we'll see you soon.
Ali Riley
Hello.
Sydney LaRue
It's time for happy hour at Bar bffr and I think we both need a drink after that.
Ali Riley
Yes, we are. We're serving up our L's and dubs and answering your burning questions.
Sydney LaRue
Here we go.
Ali Riley
Here we go.
Sydney LaRue
Something we're loving right now.
Ali Riley
Okay. This was awesome. The World Sevens Football. What a success.
Sydney LaRue
So cool.
Ali Riley
We were tuning in from before training in the cafeteria after. Very proud of our very own Duda Paval who was doing the announcing. And we. You would just. From anywhere in the facility, you would hear her yelling out names because we had it on just the whole morning. You would love playing in this.
Sydney LaRue
Oh, my goodness. No offside, no offside. Just like go at them every single time they got the ball. Like it was. Let's go. The celebration constant. Yeah.
Ali Riley
The cellies shout out to my FC Bayern Frowen, who won the tournament. They were excellent. And it's coming our way, I'm pretty sure.
Sydney LaRue
But everyone looked like they were having so much fun. Like it was just like a party.
Ali Riley
And the prize money, not too bad.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah. Not too shabby.
Ali Riley
And. Okay, so if you weren't following the World Sevens Football, it was a tournament. It was seven aside. It was a pitch half the size of a regulation pitch. The goals were 2 meters tall, 5.5 meters wide, no offside. The games were 2 times 15 minutes. Perfect rolling subs from an unlimited squad.
Sydney LaRue
Wow.
Ali Riley
So I'm really hoping that it's coming in November, I think to North America. It would be so awesome to be some part of it. And then I think next year they're expanding and I just think the inclusion and having representation. If they have it in Africa, because this was in Europe. So if they were to have it in Asia and Africa, North America, Europe, I mean, let's have it all over the place. It is. It was great. And we had some very close friends who are ambassadors of the tournament. You saw Tobin, Caroline Sager was a dj.
Sydney LaRue
Jing.
Ali Riley
It looked like so much fun, so we were loving that. And if you haven't followed it, get ready. It's coming back in November.
Sydney LaRue
Okay. Win of the week. My win of the week was that I had a girls weekend because Cashes was away and I still had pt. So it was me and you guys had a Time all weekend. We had a time. Of course, I had to bring her in every single time I went to pt.
Ali Riley
Yep, yep. And we all had girls weekend.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah. Yeah, we did. And it was just like so nice being able to like spend time with one of them individually. I mean, you know, Cassius loves his mommy time, but I'm not really able to do that usually. It's like lugging both around. So it was really nice to just have like that time. And now I owe Cassius, so we'll.
Ali Riley
See how that goes. My win was a little staycation. We had a couple days off. That's very, very unusual. Especially those of us in long term rehabs. And Lucas and I went to the South Bay with a couple of friends.
Sydney LaRue
And I wasn't invited. But it's okay.
Ali Riley
You had girls weekend with sister.
Sydney LaRue
She could have come.
Ali Riley
Anyways. It was to have two days off in a row. Again, we don't get that a lot because if I have training the next day, I have a hard time enjoying the day before.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah, you can't.
Ali Riley
So having Sunday, knowing that I had Monday off, we had. We had a great time. Yeah. Yeah. We were at a festival, went down to Newport. We were on a boat, we were biking, had a couple of cocktails. Yeah. This was very. I was really, really relaxed.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah, I bet.
Ali Riley
It's been a while.
Sydney LaRue
I bet.
Ali Riley
Oh. But on that note, is very closely tied to my loss of the week. Because when I am on vacation, it doesn't matter if it's a staycation in the same area where I am from. Girl math is that the money doesn't count.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah.
Ali Riley
So at this stage, it doesn't exist on vacation.
Sydney LaRue
Girl math.
Ali Riley
Oh, that's cute. I'll buy it. Oh, a little ring. I'll buy it. Earrings. I'll buy it. Little stuffed animal. I'll buy it. Oh, you want to play this carnival game that obviously is a scam and you can't win it. Here's a hundred dollars of my hard earned cash. And no, we did not get the stuffed animal. So yeah, I have to find a little bit of balance there because I was really relaxed. And now looking at my credit card statement, I am no longer relaxed.
Sydney LaRue
You know what I love about girl math is my girl math is when I go shopping and I return something, I've just made money. I've just made money. That money is coming back to me and I made money on that return.
Ali Riley
And that is why she has a valet membership at the mall. Girl, what was your loss of the week?
Sydney LaRue
You know, I love to cook.
Ali Riley
Yes.
Sydney LaRue
And I'm a really good cook at that. But I just, like, wanted to make this, like, really nice meal and, you know, for the family, and the kids hated it.
Ali Riley
I'm sorry.
Sydney LaRue
So, yeah, that happens once in a blue moon, but it was okay. I think it just took me so much time that it really pissed me off.
Ali Riley
Did they get an alternative meal?
Sydney LaRue
Of course. I know that some people are like, you. You eat that or you don't. I'm like, if they're not gonna eat it, what am I gonna do? It does look bad, but it tastes good.
Ali Riley
Oh, this is a trend that you are thrilled about, Sid. Take it away.
Sydney LaRue
Okay. This trend is Athleisure is taking over. I feel like Athleisure has been taking over since COVID because everyone's like, why do I need to be uncomfortable?
Ali Riley
Sid has been rocking her Athleisure wear since. Since Lululemon came to America and refused to stop. So, yeah, you look damn good.
Sydney LaRue
I do love. I do love, like, the Pilates mom look.
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
Love it.
Ali Riley
Yeah.
Sydney LaRue
Remember when we did Pilates together?
Ali Riley
Yeah. That's. That's another L of another week. That was very hard. Well, so. And on that note, formal wear is on its way out, which I'll have to see it to believe it, But I definitely have seen fewer people rocking the suits and the tailored, and it does feel like we're getting a bit more casual.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah, I think so too.
Ali Riley
I'm happy for you.
Sydney LaRue
I'm happy for you. You love Athleisure.
Ali Riley
I don't have much of it. I'll go into your drawer. Especially now that we know what color Athleisure we should be wearing, right?
Sydney LaRue
Yeah. Yeah.
Ali Riley
And if you don't know, you can do AI color analysis with ChatGPT. Hot tip.
Sydney LaRue
Hot tip.
Ali Riley
Ooh, we have a fan question.
Sydney LaRue
Here we go.
Ali Riley
Love this part.
C
Hi, Ali. Hi, Sid. It's Carrie. Your favorite. I just learned that you guys have a new hotline where you can actually play this for the podcast. So as a very loyal fan, I hope I make it onto the show. I've been listening to every episode, and because you guys had the mother episode where you talked a lot about Sid's journey with motherhood and cashes and rue, and a lot of your happy hour fan questions have had to do with relationships, I kind of wanted to stay on theme and ask Sid, at what age will you let Cassius and Ruth start dating.
Sydney LaRue
Carrie?
Ali Riley
Thank you. Carrie already got a shot. Well, yeah, Carrie already got a shout out we love her amazing work and advocacy. And now she's just hitting Sid with the spicy question. Oh, my God, I can't wait to hear this answer, Sydney Larue.
Sydney LaRue
You know, I'm not going to be one of those moms who's, like, obsessed with their, like, you know, like those boy moms. I'm not going to be like that. I want to be friends with my son's partner. I don't want to be like, okay, partner.
Ali Riley
But I mean, he gets his first girlfriend and, you know, soon, how you gonna feel?
Sydney LaRue
No, I'm not ready for that. I don't. I'm not ready for that. And I'm not worried about. Because she'll tell them. She'll. She'll tell them how it is. Doesn't matter. But Cassius, oh, he's so sweet. He could get taken advantage of.
Ali Riley
What age is he allowed to go on a little date?
Sydney LaRue
I don't know. I don't. It's really hard because I don't really let them out of my sight, so. Well, I don't do sleepovers, so I think that kind of cuts things down because that's what I used to do. I used to go and sleep over at my friend's house. Then I would leave my friend, and then I would call my mom, but I would three way call so that the number coming through was from my friend. Genius. Kids can't do that.
Ali Riley
I never did anything like that, Bev.
Sydney LaRue
Never. I used to steal my mom's car and I would go pick up my friend and we would go to McDonald's and my mom would be like, I didn't park like this. Like, I'm going crazy. And I'm like, yeah, you are. There's no gas in the car. I'm like. But she would have killed me if she found out.
Ali Riley
I think your kids are at a disadvantage because you did every trick in the book. That's.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah, I did. I really did. I know what to look out for.
Ali Riley
Good luck, Cassius and Rue.
Sydney LaRue
Yeah, I don't know. Good question, Carrie.
Ali Riley
Well, that is lucky for you all, we have time for today. Thank you so much, Carrie Riccaro, Number one. Thank you for listening. Thank you to our teammates and players who have been sending us messages saying that they listen to the show on their way to training. That is a sentence I never, ever thought I would say. But everyone who's been tuning in, we appreciate you. And we will be back next week with another episode of BFFR. And don't forget to follow us on socials @BFFR show. Subscribe to the show on YouTube and of course, follow us on Apple Podcasts.
Sydney LaRue
Spotify, everything, wherever you get your podcasts.
Ali Riley
So, Sid, we're going to leave you with a reminder. Take it away, Sid.
Sydney LaRue
Well, I think this one works for the both of us.
Ali Riley
I think so, too.
Sydney LaRue
We can struggle and still move forward, because that's exactly what we're doing.
Ali Riley
Amen. See you next week.
BFFR About Mental Health – Detailed Summary
Episode Release Date: June 9, 2025
Hosts: Sydney Leroux & Ali Riley
Podcast Title: BFFR with Sydney Leroux & Ali Riley
In this emotionally charged episode of BFFR, co-hosts Sydney Leroux and Ali Riley delve deep into the mental health challenges faced by athletes. Transitioning from their usual light-hearted banter about social media interactions and personal anecdotes, they set the stage for a candid conversation about the pressures of professional sports and personal well-being.
The hosts open up about their individual struggles, emphasizing the high expectations placed on athletes and the internal battles they face.
Sydney Leroux shares her journey, highlighting a period where she felt disconnected from herself and her performance on the field waned significantly:
“I was terrible. Like, I was a terrible soccer player. And I remember driving to training and being like, today's gonna be good. And then it was shit. And then I would cry on my way back, and it just kind of, like, took over my life.”
[02:10]
Ali Riley discusses her own challenges, particularly during an injury that left her feeling identity-crushed and isolated:
“I am now only that person who is injured. That's my whole identity. That's all I think about. That's all I feel.”
[16:05]
The conversation transitions to the mechanics of taking mental health leave within the NWSL, thanks to advocacy from figures like Carrie Riccaro.
Ali Riley commends the policy that allows athletes to take up to six months of paid mental health leave, alleviating financial and contractual pressures:
“We want to shout out Carrie Riccaro. She fought for this, to make sure that the NWSL had a policy for mental health. And so all of the athletes in this league can take up to six months paid mental leave.”
[07:25]
Sydney Leroux elaborates on her own experience with taking leave, detailing the overwhelming circumstances that led her to seek help:
“There was too much on my plate. And usually I'm fine. I'm fine. That's my word. That's my words that I use. But I wasn't.”
[08:10]
Both hosts emphasize the crucial role of therapy and support networks in their mental health journeys.
Sydney Leroux credits therapy with transforming her approach to challenging situations:
“Therapy is so helpful. I think it's... changed me. It's changed the way that I deal with hard situations.”
[09:30]
Ali Riley reflects on her own therapeutic experience, highlighting the moment of realization that propelled her towards healing:
“And that was like, the trigger. You need to get help. You need to step away and remember what's important and get perspective.”
[16:05]
The hosts address the negative impacts of social media, including cyber harassment and the unrealistic standards set for athletes.
Sydney Leroux discusses her approach to handling online negativity, emphasizing the importance of not taking harmful comments personally:
“To us, to me. To our face. Say exactly. Stand ten toes down and say exactly what you say on the little Internet.”
[04:32]
Ali Riley shares her stance on disconnecting from harmful commentary for the sake of mental well-being:
“I don't read the comments. I just for my mental health.”
[05:27]
They both highlight the double-edged sword of social media, where it serves as a platform for support but also as a breeding ground for negativity.
Drawing from their personal experiences, Leroux and Riley offer practical advice to both athletes and the general public grappling with mental health issues.
Sydney Leroux urges individuals to recognize when they need help and to seek it without hesitation:
“Please ask for help. Because I never ask for help. And asking for help and getting help is the best thing that I could have done for myself and for my family and for my friends.”
[09:50]
Ali Riley emphasizes that seeking help is neither a sign of weakness nor something to be ashamed of:
“It doesn't make you less than or weak or anything negative by asking for help. Like, I think it's a very brave thing to do. It's a very smart thing to do.”
[13:50]
They collaboratively stress the importance of self-compassion and prioritizing personal well-being over external expectations.
Towards the end of the episode, the hosts acknowledge Carrie Riccaro's advocacy efforts and recognize their listeners and teammates for their support and engagement.
“Thank you so much, Carrie Riccaro, Number one. Thank you for listening. Thank you to our teammates and players who have been sending us messages saying that they listen to the show on their way to training.”
[33:52]
The episode wraps up with a poignant reminder of the hosts' resilience and commitment to moving forward despite struggles:
“We can struggle and still move forward, because that's exactly what we're doing.”
[37:36]
Key Takeaways:
Mental Health is Crucial: Athletes, like anyone else, face significant mental health challenges that require acknowledgment and support.
Seeking Help is Strength: Utilizing therapy and support systems is essential for personal growth and overcoming adversities.
Navigating Public Pressure: Balancing public expectations with personal well-being is a common struggle, amplified by the pervasive nature of social media.
Advocacy Matters: Policies that support mental health leave and advocacy from teammates can significantly impact athletes' lives.
This episode of BFFR offers a heartfelt exploration of the intersection between professional sports and mental health, providing valuable insights and encouragement for listeners navigating their own mental health journeys.