BFFR with Sydney Leroux & Ali Riley

Episode: Eli Rallo’s NYT Bestseller, Quarter-Life Crisis Survival Guide & Wedding Plus-One Truth Bomb
Date: November 17, 2025
Guest: Eli Rallo, Author and Creator

Episode Overview

In this vibrant and honest episode, soccer pros Sydney Leroux and Ali Riley chat with Eli Rallo—a viral TikTok creator and newly-minted New York Times bestselling author—about navigating early adulthood, societal pressures, and the realities of "quarter-life" and "third-life" crises. The conversation covers Eli’s writing journey, her viral internet presence, journaling as self-care, surviving social media scrutiny, nuances of friendship, and her take on wedding plus-one etiquette. With candid confessions, laughter, and practical wisdom, this episode offers guidance (and a reality check) for anyone struggling to “adult,” make sense of tricky friendships, or find their footing during pivotal life transitions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Eli’s Reaction to Hitting the Bestseller List

• [00:00–07:12]
  • Eli recounts the nerve-wracking moments before learning her book Does Anyone Else Feel This Way hit the NYT bestseller list.
  • “I told them only FaceTime me if I got the bestseller list…when I saw the FaceTime, I wasn't like, I got the bestseller list. I was like, oh my God, did I get it? Or, like, I don't even know.” – Eli Rallo [00:00]
  • Describes the publishing industry timeline and the incoming rush of support from her team.
  • Emphasizes the importance of finding a team that truly supports you.

Public Perception & Platform Privilege

• [07:12–10:46]
  • Talks about being doubted for her success: “She only ever got a book deal because of her platform. And that's definitely, like, partially true. But your platform is, like, also, like, I built that. So. Yeah.” – Eli Rallo [07:42]
  • Dismantles the criticism that family privilege or connections handed her success.
  • Discusses double standards women face regarding privilege and achievement.

Internet Trolls & Boundaries

• [10:46–13:07]
  • Both hosts and Eli swap stories about social media trolls and “loser behavior.”
  • “The Cut wrote a really interesting article…all of them were like, yeah, my friends don't know that I’m obsessed with influencer Reddit because they just…would be like, why are you doing that with your time?” – Eli Rallo [11:18]
  • Eli’s gut reaction: Don’t spin stories about someone else—just move on.

Going Viral and Life Online

• [13:07–16:40]
  • Eli describes her accidental social media virality, from a family trail mix jar video to making TikTok her livelihood.
  • She’s strategic but sets boundaries: “My relationship with the Internet has ebbed and flowed…I just try…to remember that if it went away, I still have a life that I love.” – Eli Rallo [16:29]

"Gen Z’s Carrie Bradshaw"—Big Sister Energy

• [16:40–18:28]
  • Reflects on being called “Gen Z’s Carrie Bradshaw” and her real-life interaction with Sarah Jessica Parker.
  • “I don't think [Carrie Bradshaw’s] perfect, but nobody is…sometimes she is a bad person. Aren't you?” – Eli Rallo [16:52]

Journaling and "Notebook November"

• [18:28–22:06]
  • Eli’s tradition of Notebook November: prompts and routines for journaling to make sense of emotions.
  • Journal prompt example: “What is the ideal version of your life, within reason…what would you have to change to get closer to your ideal life?” [21:23]
  • Observes that “usually it’s not that many things, and it’s not that difficult…normally it’s just realizations of, oh, I’m in control of this.”

Quarter-Life Crisis Survival Guide

• [23:19–26:02]
  • What it means today: the disorienting transition from structured milestones to the ambiguous adult world.
  • “You've arrived. And it's like…but you’ve arrived to what?...reality was so, like, grave…it was so isolating.” – Eli Rallo [23:44]
  • For Gen Z and Millennials, lack of mentorship and evolving social norms (delayed marriage, living alone, career advances) make it both exciting and daunting.

Friendship Evolutions & Adult Choices

• [26:04–30:46]
  • Handling friendship breakups in adulthood: “You don't always have to be on the same page…everybody is the main character of their own story.” – Eli Rallo [28:48]
  • Distance and changing life stages mean some friendships naturally fade, which is okay.

Adulting Joys, Holiday Traditions, and Fun Hot Takes

• [30:46–35:42]
  • Friendsgiving “truth bomb”: Encourage everyone to bring a single friend, enriching everyone’s social circle.
  • Halloween isn’t Eli’s favorite: “There's this additional pressure…now there's this expectation to have a costume…and I'm already not big into parties.” [31:48]
  • Hosting and decorating during the holidays, and why she currently doesn’t decorate due to a hectic travel schedule.

Hotel Bar Life & Holiday Advice

• [35:42–36:52]
  • Pro tip: Spend time in hotel bars for a “most eclectic group of people.”
  • “You’re always going to get the most interesting mix of people…flight attendants, people on a date, people from out of town, businessmen…” – Eli Rallo [35:42]

Staying Present, Dealing with Attention, and Taking Breaks

• [36:52–39:32]
  • Journaling, therapy, and unplugging with family help Eli find balance in a high-velocity digital life.
  • “Most of my friends and family don’t use social media like I do…being around them is super helpful.” – Eli Rallo [36:52]
  • She feels pressure to keep up content but reframes it as a privilege: “What a privilege it is to have people that are so demanding of my time and energy.” [38:23]

Wedding Plus-One Controversy & Being a “Villager”

• [42:10–46:45]
  • Eli argues for “being a villager” in community—sometimes, showing up alone to a wedding is part of reciprocating in relationships.
  • “If you just don’t want to [attend solo] because you don’t feel like socially going…how much do you deserve the village that you purport to care about?” – Eli Rallo [42:10]
  • Describes open conversations with friends about plus-ones and why she thinks her approach is fair.

Fun Lightning Round

• [47:45–51:40]
  • Small joy of the week? Watching Dancing with the Stars [47:45].
  • Favorite Taylor Swift era? The Tortured Poets Department, with Lover as a close runner-up [48:07].
  • Most used TikTok sound? None stuck on repeat, but loves to use trending audios as fits; team mentions the Twilight running sound [49:21].
  • Current binge show? I Love LA on HBO Max [50:07].
  • Advice for 20s/30s adulthood crisis? “Have more fun…Life can be so fleeting and kind of ridiculous and silly, but also meaningful and deep…it’s about love and enjoying yourself.” – Eli Rallo [51:12]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On criticism and privilege:
  “If my dad called up a publisher to help me get a book deal, I would be transparent about that. I wouldn't have gone to grad school. I would have been writing books far earlier.” – Eli Rallo [08:30]
• On adult friendships:
  “You have to put yourself first…everybody is the main character of their own story.” – Eli Rallo [28:48]
• On wedding etiquette:
  “If you just don’t want to [attend solo] because you don’t feel like socially going…how much do you deserve the village that you purport to care about?” – Eli Rallo [42:10]
• On finding presence:
  “I don’t really make content when I’m with my loved ones. I just, like, unplugged.” – Eli Rallo [36:52]
• On life advice:
  “Try to find joy and hope through all the chaos.” – Eli Rallo [51:12]

Helpful Timestamps

• [00:00] – Eli’s NYT Bestseller FaceTime story
• [07:12] – Internet trolls, privilege, and self-worth
• [13:07] – Going viral and transition to career creator
• [16:40] – Gen Z’s Carrie Bradshaw, Meeting SJP
• [18:28] – Notebook November and journaling prompts
• [23:19] – Quarter-life crisis meaning & societal context
• [28:48] – Friendship lessons in adulthood
• [42:10] – The wedding plus-one “truth bomb”
• [47:45] – Joy of the week & lightning round

Takeaways

This episode is a must-listen for anyone working through “adulting” milestones or feeling lost in their 20s or 30s. Eli Rallo’s unapologetically real advice on boundaries, friendship, public scrutiny, and the joy found in small rituals is relatable and empowering. Her candidness around internet culture, privilege, and showing up for the people you care about underscores the episode’s core belief: to be real, you have to keep showing up—as yourself, for yourself, and for your community.

For more: Follow Eli Rallo on TikTok and Instagram, and check out her bestselling book, Does Anyone Else Feel This Way?
Listen to Sydney & Ali on BFFR wherever you get your podcasts.