Hayley Kiyoko & Becca Tilley on Love, Representation & New Book Inspired by Their Meet Cute

Summary

---

BFFR with Sydney Leroux & Ali Riley

Episode: Hayley Kiyoko & Becca Tilley on Love, Representation & New Book Inspired by Their Meet Cute
Date: November 3, 2025
Hosts: Sydney Leroux, Ali Riley
Guests: Hayley Kiyoko, Becca Tilley

---

Episode Overview

This lively and heartfelt episode features pop icon Hayley Kiyoko and award-winning podcaster Becca Tilley, who join soccer stars Ali Riley and Sydney Leroux for an unfiltered, joy-filled conversation about love, queer representation, creativity, and the power of sharing your authentic story. The couples discuss Angel City FC fandom, their iconic meet cute, Hayley’s new Victorian-era queer romance novel, and what it means to be visible and hopeful in today’s world. In classic BFFR fashion, the conversation is candid, warm, and punctuated with plenty of laughter and memorable insights.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Angel City FC, Visibility & Representation

• Fandom Stories: Hayley and Becca talk about becoming Angel City fans, sporting pride, and the impact of seeing LGBTQ+ and women’s representation on the field and in the stands.
• Ali Riley’s Emotional Home Farewell: Ali reflects on her last home game for Angel City and how much it meant:

  “So many people made me believe that we weren’t worth investing in. … To be living this is a dream that I didn’t know to have. And for you to be part of this beautiful chapter of my life is very, very meaningful.” (06:35)

• Power of Visibility: The group discusses how seeing queer women on and off the field helps normalize and celebrate their existence for younger generations.

2. Astrology, Birthdays, and Halloween

• Multiple guests share a Scorpio connection, riffing on zodiac compatibility and Halloween birthdays.
• Relatable moments about how personal identity and quirks show up even in lighthearted things like costumes and holiday plans.

  “I'm a Scorpio ally.” – Hayley Kiyoko (00:24)
  “I've never needed to have the birthday part of it... I love a wig.” – Becca Tilley (10:41)

• Warm banter about group and couple costumes—and the desire for more WLW (women loving women) character costumes, showing the importance of queer couples in pop culture.

  “My dream is to have a plethora of Halloween costumes for WLW couples.” – Hayley Kiyoko (13:36)

3. Hayley’s New Book: Where There’s Room for Us

• Writing Process & Inspiration: Hayley discusses how her second book moves beyond the world of Girls Like Girls into a Victorian-era setting inspired by her and Becca’s real-life "meet cute."

  “For me, creating content and telling stories, I always wanted to end in hope. ... And growing up, I never really had that hopeful representation.” (14:57)

• Queerness Through History: Hayley shares how the book explores what same-sex love and gender inequality would look like in a slightly alternate Victorian world.

  “What if it’s a little hyper reality where two gay men can inherit land... but two gay women cannot? ... There’s still pressure to have a son heir or marry a man.” (16:39)

• Audio Book Details: Hayley and Becca talk about producing the audiobook, with Jemima Kirke reading the British chapters to keep it authentic.

4. The Epic Meet Cute: Hayley & Becca

• How They Met: An organic, serendipitous story involving a missed DM, a would-be setup with Becca’s little sister, and a spontaneous five-hour date at Chateau Marmont.

  “We talked for, like, five hours and shut the bar down, and that was kind of it. … I just was like, wow, I’ve never felt that way before.” – Becca (20:43)
  “Seven and a half years later, here we are, engaged.” – Hayley (21:08)

• Honest and Hilarious: The back-and-forth includes Becca feigning outrage over being the backup to her own little sister, and both women reflecting on how authentic connection can surprise you.

5. Creative Drive, Directing & Challenging Norms

• Directing Out of Necessity: Hayley shares how she began directing music videos because she couldn’t afford outside talent, finding a true passion for storytelling in the process.

  “It was very much like, well, if I can’t do that, then I have to do it myself and I have to learn.” (26:49)

• The Highs and Lows of Creative Work: Stories of perseverance—like losing all footage for a Kehlani video and having to reshoot with little time—frame Hayley’s ethos:

  “Do I give up or do I keep going? ... I’m always chasing that challenge.” (29:46)

• Representation in Media: Hayley expresses her commitment to creating “hopeful, queer content” and the importance of seeing half-Asian, queer women in media.

  “My goal is just to make hopeful, queer content and, you know, represent half Asian girls, you know.” (31:07)

6. Becca’s Podcasting Journey & Community Building

• The Power of Community: Becca recounts the loyalty and support of her “Scrubbing In” podcast community, the journey from dating men to coming out and getting engaged to a woman—showing how friendship, storytelling, and personal evolution intertwine.

  “We have these people that are, like, so locked in. … We truck through, and it’s pretty incredible.” (32:44)

• Favorite Moments & Dream Guests: Becca’s highlights include their coming out episode and hopes of interviewing Sandra Oh and Ellen Pompeo.

7. The Engagement Story

• Elaborate Planning: Hayley orchestrated a top-secret, movie-like proposal in Mallorca—with location scouting, friends in the bushes, and sneaky TSA maneuvers.

  “I told Becca it was harder than directing the feature film… Like, that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” (37:49)

• Surprise and Joy: Becca had no idea, believing she would propose first. Details of hiding the ring in a Tate’s cookie bag and jumping in the ocean after the “yes.”

  “I grew up not being able to get, like, legally married, so it’s never been a dream of mine because it wasn’t allowed to be a dream. … It’s been so cool to experience these huge life moments and, like, legally be able to do it.” – Hayley (42:36)

8. The Importance of Queer Representation

• Pioneering Lyrics: The group discusses how Hayley’s music helped normalize queer stories, especially through she/her pronouns in pop music.

  “Before Haley singing about girls liking girls, it was not a thing that people were singing. Like, people weren’t using she pronouns. ... Haley was such a blueprint.” – Becca (45:22)

• Living Authentically (and Loudly): Their stories testify to how sharing authentically can inspire others, break isolation, and catalyze cultural change.

  “The only way to do that is to actually do it yourself and to break that glass ceiling so someone in the younger generation can maybe dream that, or even dream bigger.” – Hayley (45:10)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "My dream is to have a plethora of Halloween costumes for WLW couples." – Hayley Kiyoko (13:36)
• "To be living this is a dream that I didn't know to have." – Ali Riley (06:35)
• "We talked for like five hours and shut the bar down... I just was like, wow, I've never felt that way before." – Becca Tilley (20:43)
• "You have to care more than anyone else. And if you don't, then... it's not going to be something you can look back on and be like, I gave it my blood, sweat, and tears. I gave it my all." – Hayley Kiyoko (29:46)
• "It's a very simple concept. Yes, it should be. Right? ... And that's why we do what we do." – Hayley Kiyoko (44:24)
• "Sometimes I just want to be like, can you slow down? ... But she does, because she's like, if I don't do it, then what do we have?... You have to have a trailblazer, and Hayley is a trailblazer in this space, and it's really amazing." – Becca Tilley (45:22)

---

Rapid Fire Segment Highlights (46:44–52:40)

• Who’s more romantic?

  "Becca’s more romantic, for sure... But Haley is more romantic in the words of affirmation way." (47:05)

• Who’s more competitive?

  "I grew up thinking I was an athlete... This girl beats me in everything." – Hayley (47:45)

• On falling asleep first:

  "I'll be lucky to get through the second Wordle!" – Hayley (49:03)

• If they swapped lives a la Freaky Friday:

  "Me, because I like to rest and relax and don’t put stress in my life. Her life is crazy—scheduled every hour, 15 meetings per day.” – Becca (50:17)

---

Personal Reflections & Goodbyes (55:03–58:15)

• Favorite qualities about each other, emotional dedications (“I love how hard she loves…”).
• Both Ali and Hayley reflect on the impact of representation for queer, Asian American, and mixed-race women in sports and media.

  “As an Asian American, a biracial woman, I wish I had someone like you to look up to … You are truly being the change you wish to see in the world.” – Ali Riley (57:06)
  “Taking up that space and not only taking up the space but thriving in that space. … There’s space for all of us.” – Hayley Kiyoko (58:16)

---

Timestamps for Key Topics

• [06:00] – Ali’s Angel City farewell reflections
• [13:20] – Queer couples & inclusive Halloween costumes
• [14:21] – Hayley’s new novel & representation in historical fiction
• [17:54] – The real-life meet cute story
• [26:46] – Hayley on directing, persistence, and creative passion
• [31:07] – The importance of queer & Asian representation in media
• [32:44] – Becca on podcasting community
• [37:11] – The Mallorca engagement story
• [44:24] – Why they share their private lives publicly
• [46:44] – Fun rapid fire round
• [55:03] – Loving tributes and closing thoughts on representation

---

Tone & Atmosphere

The episode bubbles with warmth, gentle teasing, authenticity, and gratitude. The dynamic between both couples is playful and loving, with an open-hearted vulnerability that invites listeners into moments both lighthearted (costume debates, rapid-fire questions) and deeply resonant (representation, engagement, impact). The hosts create space for sincere thanks and foster a sense of community and hope.

---

Final Thoughts

This episode offers moving first-person perspectives on queer joy, the evolution of representation, and creative courage—from the soccer pitch to the bookshelf. Whether you’re a fan of sports, music, or stories about how love wins, it’s a celebration of making space—for ourselves, for each other, and for the next generation.

---

Transcript

[Ali Riley]

Happy early birthday.

[Becca Tilly]

Happy early birthday.

[Ali Riley]

Loved you. It's the Scorpio energy, man.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I just like, I love Scorpios.

[Ali Riley]

She has like a wagness and then the Scorpios have a magnet and she goes like this.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I'll be talking to someone and I'll like really vibe and then I'll find out that there's Scorpio at the end of the conversation. And I'm an Aries so it's. I'm like an honorary.

[Ali Riley]

She's anoric anymore.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I'm a Scorpio ally.

[Becca Tilly]

Everyone says that. Everyone says that.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I'm a Scorpio ally.

[Ali Riley]

Hello. What?

[Becca Tilly]

What's up, everyone? Welcome back to yet another episode of bffr. Make sure you're following FFR show on all socials and hit that subscribe subscribe button on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts. We've had a lot of amazing guests on the BFFR show and a lot from the Angel City fam. But this might be one of my favorite crossovers because I am joined by not one, but two icons that make up one power couple. So please welcome Haley Kiyoko and Becca Tilly. Okay, I know everybody's heard of Macy's famous Thanksgiving Day parade. I used to watch as a kid from my bed. But apparently Macy's has a new parade this year. A parade of deals. Every single day through Thanksgiving, Macy's is dropping a brand new limited time deal on the hottest items. I'm not kidding. A new deal every day. My personal favorite, the classic ugg fluff throw. It's the type of blanket that helps keep you warm all season long, even in L. A. And let's be real, some of us are skipping the turkey trot and watching a holiday movie on the couch instead. Cozy goals. And that's just the start. We're talking 30 to 40% off fragrances from Marc Jacobs and Gucci, 30% off Sunday Riley skin care cashmere sweaters under $50, and even diamond tennis bracelets under 100. I know Bev wants one of those. If you're looking for a deal or just a reason to shop, Macy's PR deals is for you. Check the Macy's app or Macy's.com every day through Thanksgiving for a new deal drop. Hailey and Becca, welcome to bffr.

[Ali Riley]

Thank you for having us.

[Haley Kiyoko]

We're so happy to be here. It's been a long time coming.

[Becca Tilly]

Truly, truly. I was just texting with Lily saying I was like, we're finally doing it. She said to say hi Obviously, I saw you, Hailey, at the. At the movie premiere, but I'm like, these. These girls are so booked and busy, and so it is truly, truly an honor to have you on bffr. I'm so glad we made it happen.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Thank you, Ali. Thank you.

[Ali Riley]

Right before we logged on, Haley goes, do you know what BFFR means? What do you think it stands for? And I was like. I couldn't tell she was being serious.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I was, like, doing the math in my brain. I was like, b. I was like.

[Ali Riley]

But what's the ring?

[Haley Kiyoko]

And then I thought it was, like, best friends for. And then I was trying to think of something with soccer with an R.

[Ali Riley]

So that's as far as I got.

[Becca Tilly]

For referees starting this.

[Ali Riley]

This interview. Yeah.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Best friend for referees, right?

[Becca Tilly]

Yeah. I don't. I don't think that coalition exists anywhere in the sporting world, but Sid and I told my mom and Sid's daughter, Rue, that it was best friends for real. But it is be for real, so. Because for real. I'm so happy that you're on the show.

[Haley Kiyoko]

And also happy to learn. I'm so happy to learn and grow.

[Becca Tilly]

I usually can't teach anyone anything because I have all these Gen Z, Gen Alpha kids on.

[Haley Kiyoko]

You're really surrounded by it. Yeah, you are.

[Becca Tilly]

It was high time to retire.

[Ali Riley]

Wait. Quickly, though.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I saw we weren't there on the day, and normally we get to watch you. I was going to say perform, because I grew up in a musical theater family, but play.

[Ali Riley]

But how was.

[Haley Kiyoko]

How was the last game in the day? Just give us a little summary. Like, it looked extremely emotional and beautiful, and we're so proud.

[Becca Tilly]

Thank you. I still can't believe I got a chance to actually go on the field. I didn't want to get my hopes up. And the game was kind of coming to an end. And so, of course, Lily has the Ali Riley heads, and she gets Jennifer Garner to start chanting, we want Ally.

[Ali Riley]

No peer pressure.

[Becca Tilly]

Oh, peer pressure. My coach was joking about it. He was like, what was I supposed to do?

[Ali Riley]

You know?

[Becca Tilly]

So they got everyone to be cheering, we want Ally. And then while they're cheering that he. He sends me over to the bench because I'm warming up behind the. On the end line, and you can see them look at each other and go, it worked. And so I go jogging over, and I got to play 15 minutes, and I was very locked in, so I didn't let the moment kind of take over. But afterwards, I couldn't believe it. I was just bawling. And Lucas, even Had one little. One little tear right here. My best friend. It was so special, and it was. I feel so lucky that I got to end my career. I do have a game in a few days, but end my career, my home, home career at Angel City, to be on the field and then have my family there. And people stayed for this beautiful celebration the club put on and just get a chance to thank everybody, which is really, really what I wanted to do. So it was very emotional. And everyone who sees me now, they're like, oh, do you have any tears left? And I was like, yeah, I still cry in the car thinking about it.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Try me. Exactly.

[Ali Riley]

Literally.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Oh, I'm so happy.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah, that's really cool.

[Becca Tilly]

Thank you. Thank you. It has been so special to play and look over and see you two at games. It is still something that is. Or on the Jumbotron anywhere you get always the biggest cheer.

[Haley Kiyoko]

And do be finding us.

[Ali Riley]

They do be.

[Becca Tilly]

Oh, oh, they do be finding you.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It's the May.

[Becca Tilly]

It's the Gay Met Gala, so you're like the mayoresses of that.

[Ali Riley]

I love that.

[Becca Tilly]

But it is really special. And I know these younger girls, this is what they know. Having amazing people like you at their games and people wearing their jerseys. But for me, I will never, never be able to wrap my head around it, just from what I've experienced growing up. And it's still really hard to believe because so many people made me believe that we weren't worth investing. And so to be living this is. It is a dream that I didn't know to have. And for you to be part of this beautiful chapter of my life is very, very meaningful, and it means a lot to a lot of people. So thank you.

[Ali Riley]

Oh, we loved it. We, like, started coming to our first game was, I think, a pride night a couple years ago, and neither of us knew anything about soccer. Like, everyone that was around us, we were like, so what is. What exactly does that mean? We just were excited to be there and getting to know you and have people to cheer for and, like, make the inductions. It was really, really exciting. Cool.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It made us feel like we were running. Running 90 miles.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

[Haley Kiyoko]

It really made us feel apart.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah. In a real way. So we love cheering you on and we love.

[Becca Tilly]

We'll have to go to a game together now that I don't have to run. And I can. If you have any questions, I can try to answer them.

[Ali Riley]

Okay.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Amazing.

[Becca Tilly]

Maybe not about the referees in some of those calls, but about everything else and okay, this is kind of spooky. And it is spooky season and Scorpio season because. Haley, you went to a girl high. Yeah, I did. And I went to Harvard Westlake, like, another kind of local girly. And then Becca and I have the same birthday.

[Haley Kiyoko]

What?

[Ali Riley]

Yes.

[Becca Tilly]

But I'm 87.

[Ali Riley]

Oh, 88.

[Becca Tilly]

Yeah. So crazy. I know.

[Ali Riley]

They were speaking right now. Two days before.

[Becca Tilly]

Yeah, exactly. We were meant.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I don't know when this is released. Right, right.

[Becca Tilly]

But we are. We are. Yes, we are speaking two days before. Back in my birthday.

[Ali Riley]

Happy early birthday.

[Becca Tilly]

Happy early birthday.

[Ali Riley]

I loved you. It's the Scorpio energy, man.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I just, like, I love Scorpios.

[Ali Riley]

She has, like, a magnet, and then Scorpios have him that. Yeah. And she goes like this.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I'll be talking to someone, and I'll, like, really vibe, and then I'll find out that they're Scorpio at the end of the conversation. And I'm an Aries, so it's. I'm like, an honorary.

[Ali Riley]

She's Scorpio.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I'm a Scorpio.

[Becca Tilly]

Everyone says that. Everyone says that.

[Ali Riley]

I'm a Scorpio.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Ally. I literally have a scorpion necklace that I'm not wearing right now.

[Ali Riley]

Oh, my girls.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Happy birthday.

[Ali Riley]

That's amazing. I get. So I went to get coffee the other day, and the girl checking me out was also. She saw my add a Scorpio necklace, and she goes, oh, you're Scorpio. I was like, yeah. And she goes, me, too. I go, when's your birthday? And she goes, October 30th. I go, Me, too.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Wait. I'm freaked.

[Becca Tilly]

I'm. Okay. I'm obviously supposed to be talking about all the amazing things you're doing, but I was just checking out at the grocery store. I was at Gelson's in Westlake, and the man checking my groceries out, his birthday was October 30th.

[Ali Riley]

What's happening?

[Haley Kiyoko]

There is something going on, and I love it. Spooky.

[Becca Tilly]

So do you. Do you like Halloween? Will you be like, did you grow up loving Halloween because of your birthday?

[Ali Riley]

So I actually grew up very. In, like, a very, like, Christian world. So Halloween was a little too. Like, we would do, like. I would dress up and stuff, but it wasn't, like a. It wasn't a big. It wasn't made to be a big deal. But more in my adulthood, I'm like, this is really fun having my birthday next to Halloween. So we do, like, a party, and just, you know, it's fun for everyone. To dress up. Are you? I like, Like, I enjoy celebrating my birthday, but I don't need a ton of attention on my birthday. Do you feel that as well?

[Becca Tilly]

I feel like, especially right now, I have gotten a ton of attention and I actually forgot it was my birthday. So I will just. A nice dinner with my husband is all I need. And I felt that more when I was younger. I loved Halloween. It wasn't about my birthday, but I love costumes, I love dressing up, and I love a wig. So I have always been about Halloween, but I've never needed to have the birthday part of it.

[Ali Riley]

Right. Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

Yes. Yes.

[Ali Riley]

So, like an excuse to have everyone together to celebrate without it needing to be about us.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yes.

[Becca Tilly]

So do you have plans? Costume plans?

[Ali Riley]

You will see.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I've been building my costume. Becca's helped me. It's.

[Ali Riley]

Let's just say this. Neither I. Neither Haley or myself are crafty or professionals, and it's not great. So let's just say it's going to.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Be a jump scare.

[Becca Tilly]

But when did you do the Wicked?

[Haley Kiyoko]

We did that a couple years ago.

[Ali Riley]

Actually, the year before the movie came out. We had, like. We were ahead of our time. We were ahead of time.

[Becca Tilly]

That was sensational.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Thank you so much. Well, stay tuned for our next costume in a couple days.

[Ali Riley]

Like, lower your expectation.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah, it's like, good, bad, you know. Okay. Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

Well, listeners. Okay, by the time this episode comes out, we'll all be able to assess if it was.

[Ali Riley]

Exactly.

[Haley Kiyoko]

If you were.

[Becca Tilly]

If you're underselling it or. Yeah, what. What the situation.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I'm trying to undersell it.

[Ali Riley]

Just so expectations are low. Really proud of it, and I'm excited. I feel it's giving. Diy, you know. It is giving.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

That's totally in. According to me. According to me. Do you. So I love doing group costumes. Costumes with my friends. And this year, we had this discussion with the team because some of us wanted to do costumes together. And then we were told because we have partners, we have to do couple costumes. So that was a little bit of a conversation. And people just kept saying, if you're lucky enough to have a partner, you have to dress up with them. And then I decided I wanted to have both. So my. My really good friend on the team, she has short hair and she loves Aladdin, and she really wanted to be Aladdin. She was like, all I need is a Jasmine. And of course, I'm like, I will be your Jasmine. Everyone's like, but you have to do something with Lucas. So Sara was Aladdin I was Jasmine and Lucas was the magic carpet.

[Ali Riley]

And he has this.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I thought it was going to be a boo.

[Ali Riley]

I tried, but the carpet is.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Is a. Is even better. So that's iconic.

[Ali Riley]

That's really beautiful. Look at that. It's inclusive.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It is inclusive.

[Becca Tilly]

Thank you.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It's hard for us to do couples because, like, there's just. I mean. And it goes back to why I'm, like, writing books and doing all the things that I do. Like, my dream is to have a plethora of Halloween costumes for WLW couples. And we always have, like one of the first years of Halloween, we did Mary Kate and Ashley. Like, we're always like sisters.

[Becca Tilly]

Oh, sister wives.

[Ali Riley]

You know what I mean?

[Haley Kiyoko]

Like, drawing, you know, like wicked. Like making it gay. Like, it's always like a stretch, you know? And so the dream is just to have like a beautiful list of characters eventually.

[Becca Tilly]

Yeah, well, people will be the characters from your books and your movies.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Exactly.

[Ali Riley]

That's the hope.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Fingers crossed.

[Becca Tilly]

Well, let's get into your book that is coming out on November 4th. And I was mentioning before we started this interview that I was lucky enough to get a little promo PDF version that I have been scrolling and reading. And this is your second book. How is the creative process? How did you. I mean, you've written music, you are an artist and you are an author. You just do it all. But to sit down and write a book of all of your talents, for me, that is the most daunting.

[Haley Kiyoko]

How, how, how, how and why? Um, well, I. It's been interesting, like my journey, obviously, starting in music and then directing music videos and realizing, oh my gosh, I love directing and I really love storytelling. And during that journey, I had started writing Girls Like Girls. And that was my first book. And that was a really interesting process because I had already pre established the characters in the music video. And so that was challenging in its own way because it was kind of pre established. And I was like, how do I tell my story through the eyes of these characters and then where there's room for us. I've been dying to write and finally release it to the world for years, but girls, like girls, always had to come first. And so when it came to where there's room for us, it was really, really exciting and also extremely challenging because I could do anything. And it is like a new story for everyone. And I was extremely inspired and excited of the challenge of sharing more of my life like today because I tend to, like in the past, be like my young queer self. Like in high school or like, my youth. And so Becca and I have a really amazing meet cute. And so I was like, what if this is like a Pride and Prejudice? Like, I'm obsessed with the Victorian era? I was like, what if I can tell a love story inspired by our meet cute? And what do those challenges look like in the Victorian era if you can be queer, but women aren't equal? Because for me, you know, creating content and telling stories, I always wanted to end in hope. And as I was developing the story and trying to tell our, you know, an ember of our story, I was like, there's no way this is going to end well. They're just like, you're going to be hidden. Something's going to go wrong. And growing up, I never really had that hopeful representation. So the challenge was like, okay, what if it's a little skewed? What if it's a little bit hyper reality where two gay men can inherit land and continue the family line, but two gay women cannot? And so there's still pressure to have a son heir or to marry a man. And so you meet this character, Freya, who has that kind of family pressure, and she meets my character, Ivy, and there's still this forbidden love element, but.

[Ali Riley]

It was a lot of world building.

[Haley Kiyoko]

And as you. As you continue to read through it, it's something I'm very proud of because it was very challenging to map out and also find moments of sharing my truth and my voice and also navigating the fact that it needs to be adjusted for the 1800s.

[Becca Tilly]

Yes. Yes. You've got a lot of dynamics going.

[Ali Riley]

In there, a little bit of different world.

[Haley Kiyoko]

But, yeah, when I met Becca, she. I mean, she tells the story better, honestly. But we met in 2018, and she was trying to hook me up with her younger sister. And I don't know if we told you the story you want to tell us.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah, I mean, we. I went to a party, and her. A mutual friend that she grew up with invited me to the party, and I had just been introduced to Haley's music a few days before because my sisters lived with me at the time, and they're both queer, and they were watching her music video, and she was. She's. It's her feelings music video, and she's really cocky, like, pursuing a girl in the video. And I was like, who is that? And they were like, oh, her name's Hayley Kiyoko. She's really popular in the lesbian pop world. And I was like, she's so cool. And then I just kind of went on to the kitchen, didn't think anything of it. And then a couple days later, my friend invites me, sends me an invitation. She was like, do you want to go to this? And I go, that's so weird. My sisters were just watching your video. And she goes, oh, invite them, too. So we were all supposed to go to this party together for her album release birthday party, and they ended up bailing because they had work or something. And I get there, and I meet Hayley, and the first thing I say, I said something along the lines of like, why didn't you DM me back? Why didn't you respond to my dm? Yeah. And she goes, she looked at me, and she was. You DM'd me. And I was like.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I, like, grabbed my phone and was, like, trying to find the dm.

[Ali Riley]

I was like, I'm just kidding. I was like, I'm just kidding. So then the whole night, she kept asking our friend. She was like, is Becca into girls? And she was like, no, but her. Her youngest sister is. And she's so cute. Like, we should hook you up. And I just knew. I thought she was really cute. I liked her confidence, and I thought, oh, she'd be fun to have around, like my sister. They would be really fun together. So we made plans for everyone to get together as a group for them to me. And again, they bailed, and they're like, we're going out tomorrow night, so tell her to come meet us. And I told Haley. I was like, hey, they're not able to meet up tonight. Everyone's going out tomorrow night. And Haley goes, well, would you want to. Oh, my God.

[Haley Kiyoko]

You just grabbed. She just grabbed a bug out of the air.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay, Mr. Miyagi, that is really sexy.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Okay, continue.

[Ali Riley]

And so I. She goes, well, do you want to get a drink instead? And I was just like, oh, yeah, sure. And then I was walking out the door, my sister was sitting there, and I go, I've never been out with a lesbian by myself. Like, what if she gets the wrong impression?

[Becca Tilly]

I think she got the wrong impression.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Definitely got the wrong.

[Ali Riley]

Definitely got the right. The right impression.

[Becca Tilly]

Yeah.

[Ali Riley]

So, yeah, we went to. She made a reservation at Chateau Marmont, which this is part of the story and where there's room for us. And we talked for, like, five hours and shut the bar down, and that was kind of it. I didn't really go into a question of, oh, my gosh, I've never been with a woman before. I just was like, wow, I'VE never felt that way before. And let's see what happens. Yeah.

[Haley Kiyoko]

So seven and a half years later, here we are, engaged, putting us in the Victorian era. But I just thought that Miku was wild.

[Ali Riley]

And I was like, this is.

[Haley Kiyoko]

This is crazy.

[Ali Riley]

You can't. You can't.

[Haley Kiyoko]

You can't write that. That's the real stuff right there.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

I'm thinking about your little sister. Did she know there was an intention to be set up?

[Ali Riley]

Yeah, I told her. I go, haley wants to meet you. And she was a fan, so she was like, oh, my gosh, are you serious? So then when she come to the party. Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

When you came home after that date, like, actually, she's mine. Snooze, you lose.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah. I was like, you missed. I'm sorry. It's. It's funny in hindsight, because, like, obviously, I've been on pale for seven and a half years, but it would have. Thank goodness. Nothing even was. The door didn't even begin. The door was definitely unlocked, but it was never opened.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It was never opened. We weren't gonna ever be a good match. Love her.

[Ali Riley]

Oh, my gosh.

[Becca Tilly]

Wow. So, Becca, when. How early do you get to read Haley's writing?

[Ali Riley]

I get pretty early access to it and pretty VIP access. Yeah, I get VIP access to everything she does, which is really cool. So I'm always like, are you gonna release that so song anytime soon? You know, it's always like, when is this coming out? But, yeah, it's fun. I get. I get early access to everything. I got to hear clips of the audiobook, which is. It's cinematic. The music. It just. In the audiobook. It's amazing.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I'm really proud of it. Thank you. I'm really proud of the audiobook. It's myself and Jemima Kirk, and I cannot do a British accent to save my life. And so basically, I'm reading the Ivy chapters, and then Jemima's reading the Freya chapters. So I don't butcher it.

[Becca Tilly]

Oh, my gosh. Okay. Yes. I need to listen to this then, because.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Well, I have heard experience in reading. They're both great. Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

Well, I have, of course, listened to your music and I've seen your music videos, but I wanted to understand a little bit more what directing would be like, so I watched the BTS of your music videos. Of course I'm a fan. I'm a bigger fan now.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Like, I don't even know I had one.

[Ali Riley]

BTS of what?

[Becca Tilly]

It's you and Kehlani. That one. And you're like getting in the truck and then she hurts herself and you have to. You lost the footage. You have to reshoot.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah. Wow.

[Ali Riley]

Okay.

[Haley Kiyoko]

You know. Yeah, I.

[Becca Tilly]

I don't know how you are acting. Oh, how does the singing. Is it. Is it lip syncing over? The music's playing really loud and you're.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Singing along when you're doing it.

[Becca Tilly]

When you do a music video. Oh, my gosh. I've always wanted to ask someone that.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah, that's a great.

[Haley Kiyoko]

No. Yeah, you normally have a click and. And depending on like the frame rate, like, you're singing either two, three, the regular beat or you speak, you know, like on TikTok, you can do like two times or like one time. So like when you watch a video and they're in slow mo, they're singing really fast, like, and so you're like practicing that before the video so your. Your, your lips look in sync. Yeah. Wow. No one's asked me that question.

[Ali Riley]

That's a good question. Great question.

[Becca Tilly]

So do you sing or are you. Are you lip syncing? Like, do you actually sing it?

[Haley Kiyoko]

Well, what I've learned is it looks better when you're singing. When you fake sing, you, like, it doesn't look as real as if you, like, just sing out loud as you're lip syncing. Just so, like, your neck, like, visually looks the most live, I guess.

[Ali Riley]

Wait, this is a great conversation. When you're doing a TikTok, if you're doing like a lip sync, are you.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Saying it out loud?

[Ali Riley]

Are you saying it out loud or are you just mouthing it quietly?

[Becca Tilly]

I think I am better when I say it out loud. But sometimes when you're doing it with other people, I feel like I get a little bit shy and then I don't say it out loud.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ali Riley]

I do it out loud every time. And I just realized that some people probably don't do that. And. No, that's good though.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It's probably why you. It looks like you're saying it for real.

[Becca Tilly]

You're so authentic.

[Ali Riley]

Beautiful work. Beautiful. I'm just reeling.

[Becca Tilly]

Yeah. No, so Haley is. So you're singing, you're not lip sync, you're singing, you're acting, and then you're like. Yeah, so the lighting should be over there and we want to do that over there and that should be there. I want this to look like this and I just can't. And you only did it in two days. And that in itself is so impressive, like, to direct and then you have directed now this movie or are you still in the process of directing girls. Like girls.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah, well, we're finishing it up. But yeah, like, I've also directed the movie. It's real now. It's wild.

[Ali Riley]

It's wild.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I mean, I think like, well, you didn't ask a question, but I'm assuming your question is like, how and why.

[Becca Tilly]

Again, Again, I'm just so impressed.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Staring at me.

[Becca Tilly]

How do you do it all?

[Haley Kiyoko]

Well, I think like any profession, you do things out of necessity, right? So like starting off in my music career, I wasn't able to get directors that, you know, were. That I could afford or navigate that. And so it was very much like, well, if I can't do that, then I have to do it myself and I have to learn. And so it was very much like learning through necessity and co directed a couple of videos. And then I was like, okay, I can do this and put myself in the videos. But I think, you know, what I've learned being a director is just communication, really communicating the story and what the vision is. And as long as everyone's on the same page, you're going to be able to execute it. And so it was a really beautiful training. I think I did like 10 or 11 music videos. Don't quote me. I think that's, think that's the amount that I did. And then I realized as I was directing, I was like, oh my gosh, I want to direct feature films like this. This might actually be my, like, maybe I was doing music we. And that was leading me to my actual calling, which is storytelling beyond music. And so, you know, trying to get girls, like girls made into a feature film for 10 years was a film in itself. And Becca got to, you know, visit said, and I think, I don't know, I just, I really love creating worlds and I love the like high of execution and just working really, really hard, which I know that you can relate to. It's just very like, satisfying and even just like writing this book and having to pick out the binding and the colors. And like every little detail leads to whether you win a game or whether you're proud of a product or not. And so every little detail counts. So every little light, every little choice, like for the what I Need music video, we lost the footage. And I remember having this moment. We had lost the footage from the first day and I was like standing on top of a mountain. And I was like, we either try again or this music video is me lip syncing to the song for three, four minutes. And so it's, you know, Again, it's that moment of like, do I give up or do I keep going? And so we persevered, we pushed through, and now that's one of my favorite narrative pieces. And Kehlani was incredible in the music video and it was one of the hardest music videos I've ever done. Having basically almost a day ish to do that is crazy. You look back at it, it's nuts. But I think that's the most relatable thing, though. You look back at things that you've accomplished as well. It's like you have to care more than anyone else. And if you don't, then it's just, it's not going to be something you can look back on and be like, I gave it my blood, sweat and tears. I gave it my all. And I look at all my projects like that, you know, I wrote Girls Like Girls and I was like, okay, I can do better. And then I wrote Where There's Room for Us and challenged myself to share a bit more of our life and my experience falling in love with her. And then I finished it and then I was like, okay, how do I push myself even further? You know, and hopefully I'll take that into the next project. And I just, I'm always chasing that challenge, I guess.

[Becca Tilly]

Well, your music videos are truly like films, so I'm not surprised that you. Well, it's still, of course, so much credit to you, but you took that skill. You can tell, you're so passionate about it. And I just, I can't wait to see this movie. Oh my gosh.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I know I don't have a release date yet, but we'll do a follow up interview. We'll get to chat more when I have more information about it. But the goal hopefully is books and IP are the path to TV and film. And so hopefully where there's room for us can be successful in the literary space and maybe can be adapted into a TV show or a film. And my goal is just to make hopeful, queer content and, you know, representing half Asian girls, you know.

[Becca Tilly]

Oh, don't I know it.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yes.

[Becca Tilly]

Representation is so important and using your voice is so important. And Becca, you are also using your voice and you have an award winning podcast, let's talk about Scrubbing. And you have such a loyal fan base and this friendship connects with people so deeply. How fun is that to hang out with your friend and create something that means so much to so many people.

[Ali Riley]

It's been such a fun. I mean, we've been doing it for eight years and I think that sometimes I. Being in this space feels so crazy because there's so many that come, and then it's either people get tired of doing it, or they're just, you know, get burnt out or, you know, whatever it is. And I remember when we got nominated for the first People's Choice Award, because that's all fan. You know, you get nominated, and then it's all fan voted. And I remember thinking we were up against Oprah. There were some people that we thought, this is cool to be in this category. And so when we won, I realized, like, our. Our listeners, it was such a special community that we had. And I. I realized, like, oh, we. We have these people that are, like, so. So locked in, and they're so loyal, and they're. They, like, root for each other. We have this Facebook group, and people just post and help each other out. And, I mean, I. I always. I think I've told Haley so many times. I'm like, it's so incredible to see this. And knowing that it started just from these two best friends who just started talking and sharing about our lives. And I think about who we were when we started the podcast, which was both single dating men. Now Tanya's married, and I'm engaged to a woman. It's so fun to have this, like, these files of documentation, like, literally weekly for eight years. Like, we don't take breaks, we don't have seasons. It's just like, we truck through, and it's pretty incredible. I always tell people, like, oh, yeah, we've been doing it for eight years. And they're like, what? Eight years?

[Haley Kiyoko]

That's great.

[Ali Riley]

So it's pretty amazing. And it doesn't. That part of my life doesn't really feel like work, you know, Like, I've just had it with my best friend.

[Becca Tilly]

Do you have a. I do, I do, I do. Do you have a favorite interview?

[Ali Riley]

Honestly, one of my favorite interview technique. No. No. But I think one of my favorite is that when we came out publicly, because we had been together for four years before we came out publicly. And I think when we did that interview, it was kind of our first time, like, talking about us. And it was so special because Tanya was like, literally Barbara Walters with the question. Like, she was asking all the, like, good questions. And it felt so personalized. But also it was so fun to get to share that. So, I mean, that was genuinely probably my favorite episode.

[Becca Tilly]

Oh, I teed you up for that one. Do you have a dream guest that still is yet to be on the show?

[Ali Riley]

My current dream guests are Sandra O. And.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay, Sandra Jennifer, if you're listening.

[Ali Riley]

Hello. Hello. We always joke because the name comes from we both. When we started, we were obsessed with Grey's Anatomy, and I started it. I started it. Just me. Originally. Tanya came on, I think, episode five. And so when I started it, I was just going to do TV reviews because I was like, what do I have? What? I have a podcast about, like, there's a bunch of that are already geared around the Bachelor, which is the world I came from. And I thought, oh, this is fun. I can review my favorite TV shows and interview guests from those shows. And so we seemed to be scrubbing in. And so now, like, people, when I tell strangers, when I tell them I have a podcast and they go, oh, what is it? And I say, scrubbing in. They're like, oh, are you. Is it a medical show?

[Haley Kiyoko]

Did you do anything here?

[Ali Riley]

Oh, my God. Like, I used to have medical professional by my name. When he Googled me, it was the whole thing. So we've had a ton of the cast on from Grey's. Not like a ton, but we have yet to have Sandra oh, Ellen Pompeo. And, like, we call them out. Also had a huge open where we were really trying to get Patrick Dempsey.

[Haley Kiyoko]

But you saw him on Novu one time.

[Ali Riley]

We didn't say it stared from afar.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah, we try to. We try to, like, send the message, like, beyond Scrubby.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay, we're sending it now. Derek. Meredith.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I briefly met Sandra. Oh. And she was lovely.

[Ali Riley]

But I was.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I wasn't able to sneak into Scrubby's on it. But that's meeting number two.

[Ali Riley]

Yes.

[Becca Tilly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I.

[Becca Tilly]

This is so. I didn't realize that it was still going on. I also loved it many, many, many, many seasons ago. And my best friend was here visiting, and she is still an avid fan. And I'm watching this show and I'm like, where's George? Where's Derek? Like, she's like, dead, dead.

[Ali Riley]

Different hospital. I was like, what did they do? Who's that?

[Becca Tilly]

Oh, my gosh. I was like, oh, there's Chief. There's Chief.

[Ali Riley]

Yes. Yeah, Chief's still there. Bailey's still there. But everyone else. Spoiler alert.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

Yeah. A lot. A lot has happened in since. Since Grace. The beginning of Grey's Anatomy and the beginning of scrubbing in. A lot has happened.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah, a lot has happened.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay, I want to hear about this engagement. I'm sorry. So happy for you. I was so excited to see on social media Haley, were you nervous? Had there been conversations before? I mean, I felt like you were the real deal. I. I don't think you should have been too nervous. But how. You were on a beach.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah, we were. We were in Mallorca and it was very nerve wracking. Obviously, I'm not very. I'm. I don't think I've ever surprised Becca.

[Ali Riley]

She surprised me.

[Haley Kiyoko]

But I don't know if I've ever.

[Ali Riley]

Surprised you when you came home from tour.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Okay, once. But I'm not very good. Like, I love to, like, share. So I'm not like, the best surprise person.

[Ali Riley]

Like, she'll be like, do you want to know what I. Yeah, I'll be like, I'll be like, I got you a surprise. Do you want to know when you're.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Going to get it? I know that's kind of my baseline, so it was. I'm not.

[Ali Riley]

I told Becca.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I was like, it was harder than directing the feature film. Like, that was the hardest thing I've ever done. Because you're also, like, withholding information from your partner and you're trying to, like, remain calm and cool. And like, I. The green box is huge. Like, and there's no. There's not. Like, when you Google, like, there's no, I don't know, like, pamphlet. Like, how. Like, how long does it take to get a ring? Like, where do you hide the ring? Can you go through TSA with the read? Like, you're just.

[Ali Riley]

Like.

[Haley Kiyoko]

There's questions that you're, like, running through your head. So luckily I had TSA and Becca didn't. And so we partied ways.

[Ali Riley]

I was like, you go.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I put the ring box in this, like, Tate's cookies bag and put it in my carry on and separated the ring box from the ring. And it was like a whole thing. But it was the most. It was like the best day of my. Of my life. Yeah, it was the best day of our lives.

[Ali Riley]

I had no. I can read her like, a book. Like, I. It's like I can feel when she's off, I'm like, what's going on?

[Haley Kiyoko]

And you had no idea about, like, she'll see me go, right? Right.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah. And she would have, like, emotional things, and she just. She so casually blamed it on other things that I never once thought anything of it. So I also thought from our discussions before, I thought I would propose first. So, like, I genuinely had no expectation of her proposing to me. And I knew that I didn't have a ring or anything, so I thought everyone kept Going, oh, my God, y' all are going to get engaged in my orca. And I'm like, you guys, I'm proposing first, and I don't have a ring.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Tanya literally called on speakerphone when we were in the car and was like, are you guys gonna get engaged to my norca? And had. And I literally was like, tanya, even.

[Ali Riley]

If we were you, like, why are.

[Haley Kiyoko]

You, like, be quiet.

[Becca Tilly]

You're like, you're ruining it for one of us if we are.

[Ali Riley]

So, yeah, literally, I just. My friends are always asking, you know, we're at that stage of our relationship where we've been together so long that it's like, anytime you go somewhere or do something, it's like, are you getting. You know, so we were definitely. But it was the first trip. Like, every time we go on a trip, I spend so much time planning my outfits, I bring all my hair tools. And this trip specifically, I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go and be on vacation. I'm not going to worry about, like, needing to have the perfect outfit or my hair being perfect. And it's the one trip where I probably should have thought more about my outfits in my hair. But it was perfect because I had no idea. She was shocked.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay, so were you on the beach when you had. You had the ring box, or did you still have it in the Tate's cookie bag? Like, how did you.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I put the ring in. So my friend yk, who literally lives in Singapore, he is at location. Like, we basically treated it like a music video slash movie. So he is, like, location scouting, sending me diagrams. Like, you know, the little drawing pencil. He's, like, drawing out stick figures of, like, where Becca should be facing and where the lighting is. Because, like, I'm trying to get the shot. Like, I'm trying to get the money shot, you know? And so he is, like. It's like, also, it's super hot. Like, it was a huge heat wave.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah.

[Haley Kiyoko]

And so the only time to do it, like, during, like, high Taurus season is to do it, like, in the morning. And so he's, like, hiding in the bushes at, like, nine. Nine in the morning. And we drove, like, an hour. I told her to wake up early. I was like, well, let's go get, like, cute content. And before the tourists arrived, we drove to the beach. And I hadn't been there yet because he was sending photos and, like, videos and all the things. And so I'm, like, watching the video of him telling me where to enter through the bushes and how to get there. And then he, like, left me this, like, rock. And, like, when I found the rock, that was where he was.

[Ali Riley]

And so it was, like. It was amazing. It was crazy.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I found the rock. I literally am shaking. The ring box is in my. My purse. And I just knew that once I took it out of the purse, like, the surprise was gonna be there. So obviously I took it. And she was like, what was.

[Ali Riley]

What is that? Yeah, I'm, like, freaking out. What is that? Yeah. So it was amazing. I had no idea.

[Becca Tilly]

I was just blindly said yes. Yeah, it was amazing.

[Haley Kiyoko]

And then we jumped in the ocean and got to swim. And I. I get why people are into it. Like, it's just such a fun. I was telling Becker, like, I grew up not being able to get, like, legally married, so it's never been a dream of mine because it wasn't allowed to be a dream. And it's been so cool to get to, like, experience these, like, huge life moments and, like, legally be able to do it. Yeah. For now, it's not funny.

[Ali Riley]

Right, Right.

[Haley Kiyoko]

So it's just been really. It's been super special.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah.

[Haley Kiyoko]

A wonderful season of our lives.

[Ali Riley]

So.

[Becca Tilly]

And is this why you are the lesbian Jesus?

[Haley Kiyoko]

I mean, I. I didn't know I was going to be called that. And my fans. Similar to just her scrubber is like, my fans have deemed me that. But, yes, I'm very much an extreme lesbian, and I've found the love of my life.

[Becca Tilly]

Hey, you know, I win for the gays.

[Haley Kiyoko]

A win for the gays.

[Becca Tilly]

Honestly, I would. I would go to church for you. So this is.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

[Becca Tilly]

So kind you sharing your story. And of course, you don't have to, but the way you do it is making a huge impact, and these are uncertain times, and it is just very powerful. And I know your fans let you know that. But for all of us, it is just really, really special. And we're all through Angel City and just. Just trying to make more inclusive spaces so everyone, like, in your books, everyone can be themselves and be safe and just have love in their lives. But you do.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It's a very simple concept. Yes, it should be.

[Becca Tilly]

Right?

[Ali Riley]

Yeah.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Been made extremely challenging and complicated and. And it's. It's really unfortunate. And that. And that's why we do what we do. You know, it's like, that's why you guys do your podcast. That's why I'm, you know, telling my stories, because I'm trying to make other people feel less alone. Wherever where reach be able to reach them, whether they're in the U.S. whether they're overseas. Because I think growing up, all of us have some kind of struggle of feeling alone or not belonging or trying to find your community or dreaming of being something that you haven't seen before. And the only way to do that is to actually do it yourself and to break that glass ceiling so someone you know in the younger generation can. Can maybe dream that you know, or even dream bigger.

[Ali Riley]

I mean, I don't know. People. People. There are people, obviously give Haley credit for what she's done. But before Haley singing about girls liking girls, like, it was not a thing that people were singing. Like, people weren't using she pronouns. It wasn't something that people were doing. So all these people that feel empowered and. And free to do it now, like, Haley was such a blueprint and what. What that is now, and, like, it feel. I know this generation's kind of like, what's the big deal? But clearly, we're in a position right now where it is still a big deal, and these are important things. And like, Haley, it's like, sometimes I just want to be like, can you slow down? You don't need to do a book of music, a movie, and whatever else you're doing at one time. But she does, because she's like, if I don't do it, then what do we have? Like, it's. It's. You have to have a trailblazer, and Hayley is a trailblazer in this space, and it's really amazing because a lot of people live in this fear head space, and then it stops them from doing what they want to do. But Hayley lives in the fear headspace and goes, well, I have to do it anyway, and I think it's really great.

[Becca Tilly]

Amen. Amen to that.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It's very sweet.

[Becca Tilly]

Before I let you go, would you be down for a little rapid fire so we can get to know you?

[Ali Riley]

We love a rapid fire. Okay.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah. My brain doesn't move as fast. That's okay. It's more going to be challenged.

[Becca Tilly]

It's going to be basically.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Well, you'll see.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay. I would like to know who is more romantic.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Becca's more romantic, for sure. She's super thoughtful. Not that I'm not thoughtful, but she's, like, above and beyond, like my knight in shining armor.

[Ali Riley]

But she. I will say Haley is more romantic in the sense that, like, every day, it's like, I'm so in love with you. You're my dream girl. You're the Most beautiful, very like, word. Words of affirmation.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay, okay. Who takes longer to get ready?

[Haley Kiyoko]

Becca.

[Becca Tilly]

Who's more competitive?

[Ali Riley]

Okay. So competitive. Really?

[Haley Kiyoko]

I grew up thinking that I was an athlete, if you can believe this. I grew up thinking, oh, my gosh. Like, I was in. I was like pitcher and softball. Like, whoa. I was like point guard and basketball. This girl beats me in every.

[Becca Tilly]

I have.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Like, I've lost my motivation in sports because I'm like, I was lied to. I was like, people told me I was good. I'm not good. And Becca beats me in literally every ping pong. Literally any athletics. She'll be guys at basketball.

[Ali Riley]

She'll.

[Haley Kiyoko]

She'll do.

[Ali Riley]

She'll just.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It's amazing. Amazing athlete.

[Ali Riley]

I told her she could have been.

[Haley Kiyoko]

An athlete if she wanted to be an athlete.

[Ali Riley]

I didn't have the mental drive.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah, she didn't have mental drive.

[Becca Tilly]

Well, I. I know a. I know a local soccer team if you ever want to run around.

[Ali Riley]

That's not my sport.

[Haley Kiyoko]

We're more of a watching, more of.

[Ali Riley]

A long type situation. Yeah.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

Who is more likely to fall asleep while watching TV or movie?

[Ali Riley]

Becca. Oh, interesting.

[Haley Kiyoko]

When we watch tv, you fall asleep.

[Ali Riley]

Before you play every night.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Okay, well, I fall. Okay, let's reword this. I fall asleep every night before her when we're playing Wordle. So we'll open up Wordle.

[Ali Riley]

This is our 30s.

[Haley Kiyoko]

We open up Wordle, and I'll be lucky to get through the second one.

[Ali Riley]

I'll be like, what do you think? And she's like, I fell asleep. I'm like, oh, my gosh. They even made it through two yeses. It's like.

[Haley Kiyoko]

It's a dream. It puts me right to see. Trying to. Having to think just, like, knocks me out.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay, I just watched Freakier Friday. I actually got a big kick out of it.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Phenomenal.

[Becca Tilly]

It was so good. I don't under. I feel like the people who didn't appreciate Freaky Friday wouldn't have appreciated Freakier Friday. But if you loved Freaky Friday, you will love Freakier Friday. It was so. It took the concept, quadrupled it, and was hilarious. And man, Jamie Lee Curtis looks so good.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I mean, I borderline almost thought it was better than the original, but yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

I was laughing out loud.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Right. Literally lolling the whole time.

[Ali Riley]

Okay.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yes.

[Becca Tilly]

Anyways, so if you two were to Freaky Friday and wake up in each other's bodies, who would handle it worse.

[Ali Riley]

Or better? Me. Because I like to rest and relax, and I don't put stress in my life. And she. Her life is crazy. I'm like scheduled every hour, 15 meetings before Duke. You would hate it. I would hate it. She had the best time ever.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I would have literally, I'd just be sitting on the couch, rousing.

[Ali Riley]

I love to wait. She loves to rest. This is why we're good.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Like, she kind of put calm. Like, if I'll have a day off, I'm like, I need to do something. I need to do something. And then she just like, is like, we're not doing anything. So she really helps kind of bring me balance in my life.

[Ali Riley]

She gets me out of the house, and I get her out after a few days of being in the house.

[Haley Kiyoko]

And I'm going to take her a little bit.

[Ali Riley]

Okay.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay. Yeah, I can see that my. My husband and I are a little bit the same, so. Yeah. So. Hey, Becca, as Haley might miss a lot of appointments that day.

[Ali Riley]

Correct?

[Becca Tilly]

That week.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah. Her team would not be happy with me.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Right?

[Ali Riley]

Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

Okay. This. I think this is gonna be hard. I feel like this is like asking you your favorite child.

[Ali Riley]

Okay.

[Becca Tilly]

We're talking about the books here. Girls like girls or where there's room for us.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I can't answer that. I can't. It's there. It's just like they're two different entities of my life, you know, Like Girls Like Girls is so special to me because it's one of the firsts for me. It's also capturing my youth and my just finding myself and explaining, exploring self love and self worth. And then where there's room for us is equally important to me because it's. It's navigating adulthood and, and. And love. And what, you know, what a happy ending looks like doesn't mean every single tradition, like, ends up in roses. It's. It means, oh, we're choosing each other and we're going to show up for one another. However that looks like and like the beauty of what true love is is going through the highs, going through the lows, and navigating that together and choosing each other. So it's. It also where there's room for us meets me where I'm at right now. And so I can't answer that.

[Ali Riley]

I would say winners room for. Oh, yeah. I mean, listen, it's based off of our, you know, meet Cube. But I think Girls like girls. Even for me, I think is. I think because I have seen so many people respond to how that song and that video and the story changed their lives. Like it was a song that made people feel Seen during a time where there was no nothing else like it. So I also think it. I truly believe it was a catapult to us fighting each other because, you know, inflict her music career, and that's what she was celebrating the night we met. So, yeah. I mean, it has a special place in my heart, but, yeah, I mean, where there's a brush, there's just something I could pick. A favorite child.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah.

[Becca Tilly]

Well, if this wasn't a brilliant pitch for everyone to read both books, I don't know what was. So. That was. That was amazing.

[Haley Kiyoko]

And now I'm gonna start hiring Becca to do my book promo. She's like, go off.

[Ali Riley]

It's easy. It's. It speaks for itself. And I think it's one of those things, like, I don't. I have never in my life seen a book. Like, I'm like, when she showed me that they were going to do the pages, I was like, babe, this is amazing. Like, it just shows.

[Becca Tilly]

I mean, look at this beauty. Look at this beauty.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Show the brick.

[Ali Riley]

Show the bridge. The bridge. Oh, but then there's another really special thing in here.

[Haley Kiyoko]

So you open it, and here's the.

[Ali Riley]

Bridge, which is part of the book, being part of the story.

[Haley Kiyoko]

And then I do this with all my books, so you can take the COVID off, and you have this little gold. You know, just in case, you know, you can't be out and proud reading.

[Ali Riley]

I can't see two women, but my. This is my favorite book because this is biased. This book is dedicated to Becca. Falling in love with you has been the most rewarding adventure of my life. Thank you for letting me share a small ember of it.

[Becca Tilly]

I think we know why. It's why she picked that one. Okay, last question. Just to end on an even more cute, cheesy note, I want to know your favorite thing about each other.

[Haley Kiyoko]

There's so many things that I like.

[Ali Riley]

Yeah, that's a good sign. Start playing.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Yeah. There's so many things. There's so many things I love. I love that Becca. I love how hard she loves. Like, I love you.

[Ali Riley]

G. Say work, and I was, like.

[Becca Tilly]

Such a hard worker.

[Ali Riley]

She just.

[Haley Kiyoko]

And I say this a lot about her, but she's, like, someone that makes you feel really special. Like, she'll meet someone she's never met before, and it, like, she will make them feel like the most, like, the only person in the world, just with, like, her energy and her light. And, like, that, to me, is so powerful and something I love. I'm the crier as you can tell between the two.

[Ali Riley]

I love Haley's passion of doing like it. And obviously, as you can tell in her work, the passion is there, but it's a thing like she. Even in our relationship, I think about how her life, her day to day is crazy. And she always comes home and there's this, like, excitement to just be with me. Like, there's this, like, there's no. I never feel like she. It never feels monotonous. Like, it never feels like, boring because there's always this excitement of, like when she walks in the door. And I find that she has passion for her family and spending time with people and this, like, zest for, like, wanting to do things and be a part. And I love it because I can be very reclusive and recluse, and it just makes me want to, like, she just brings the spirit and joy into my life and I think everyone's life.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Sweet.

[Becca Tilly]

Nice.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Wow.

[Ali Riley]

Okay. This feels like couples therapy.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Thank you so much for this session. Thanks for having us.

[Ali Riley]

Us. And we'll be back in a month for our check in.

[Becca Tilly]

Yes, yes. I'll send you my invoice.

[Ali Riley]

Thank you.

[Haley Kiyoko]

No.

[Becca Tilly]

I'm so glad that you found each other and just again that you share your love story. And Haley, also, as an Asian American, a biracial woman, I wish I had someone like you to look up. When I look up to when I was growing up, you know, we didn't see people who looked like us. Not only in seeing sports, but when I was everywhere. Reading through your bio and thinking about how it must have been for you with. I mean, we're talking about music, tv, movies, books, everything. And those were spaces that you were in as a young girl navigating. And it must have been very, very challenging. And so just the way that you are truly being the change you wish to see in the world, it's an easy thing to throw around, but you're actually doing it. And I know through sport and what people say to me, just by having any representation how much it means to them. And you're doing that across the board. And it is very, very important. So I just. I just really wanted to thank you.

[Ali Riley]

Thank you. Hug.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Thank you, Ali. That means the world. And I like. Right back at you. Like, I think growing up as the.

[Ali Riley]

Athlete that you are, as the professional.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Athlete that I love, that was fun. No, but it's true. Like, I think, you know, when you're half Asian or, you know, mixed race, like, it's like you don't see yourself in a Lot of different mediums. You don't see yourself represented in a lot of different sports. And so it's just like to. To see kind of that hole into take up that's kind of goes back to the. I'm not even knew this on purpose, but goes back to my title, like, where there's room for us. It's like taking up that space and taking ownership of that space and not only taking up the space, but thriving in that space. And you've done that so incredibly beautifully, and you continue to do that, inspire so many. So many generations of players and just people. And you're just like a great person, too, which is like the cherry on top. And so I think that's the whole point of life, right? Is just trying to make life a little easier for everyone and that there's space for all of us. And so that's what's so beautiful and exciting, to get to uplift each other and cheer each other on. And we've loved cheering you on. And this has been so special to finally get to connect in more of an official way, which has been really.

[Ali Riley]

No.

[Becca Tilly]

Thank you so much for your time. I can't wait to see you the next time I see you. And happy birthday. Happy Halloween.

[Ali Riley]

Birthday. Happy Halloween.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ali Riley]

Happy birthday. I feel so honored that I have the same birthday as you.

[Haley Kiyoko]

I'm gonna add it to my birthday calendar.

[Becca Tilly]

You'll always remember.

[Ali Riley]

It's true.

[Haley Kiyoko]

Well, thank you.

[Becca Tilly]

Thank you guys so much. So, so much. All right, it's time for Add to Cart, presented by Macy's, where every week I'll share one thing I'm loving right now. Could be a vibe, a trend, a person, a moment. And you can always find your faves@macy's.com. this week, I am adding Angel City fans to my cart. As someone who, by the time you hear this podcast, I will have officially hung up the boots. And I just want to say thank you so much to all of the fans out there. The love and support you've shown me from the sideline in the supporter section on socials, I just am overwhelmed by the love you've shown me, and I just feel so grateful. You all have made these past four years unforgettable. We've been through a lot together, and just your honesty, your willingness to be open to me and my family, you feel like family to us. I honestly cannot wait to watch games with you. I feel like it is just gonna be the best experience, and I've never really had that chance to be so connected with people and then move on and still have a relationship. And so I am just really looking forward to this next chapter, especially since it was hard these past, I mean, this almost two years with this injury and now to know that I'm going into this next part of my life still surrounded by amazing people and we get to celebrate Angel City together. So thank you for showing up for me, especially on that last game, chanting my name. I think it put the pressure on my coach, but truly, truly, thank you so, so much. And speaking of things worth celebrating, Macy's parade of deals is happening now every single day through Thanksgiving. They're dropping a brand new limited time deal on top picks from cozy throws to skincare and even jewelry. So if you're looking for something to treat yourself with, check the Macy's app or head to Macy's dot com. All right, that's it for this week's episode of bffr. Thank you so much to Hayley and Becca for joining me on the BFFR Show. Don't forget to subscribe on YouTube, Apple Podcast, Spotify, wherever you listen and follow us at BFFR show on all socials. I will see you next Monday.