BFFR with Sydney Leroux & Ali Riley

Episode: Hayley Kiyoko & Becca Tilley on Love, Representation & New Book Inspired by Their Meet Cute
Date: November 3, 2025
Hosts: Sydney Leroux, Ali Riley
Guests: Hayley Kiyoko, Becca Tilley

Episode Overview

This lively and heartfelt episode features pop icon Hayley Kiyoko and award-winning podcaster Becca Tilley, who join soccer stars Ali Riley and Sydney Leroux for an unfiltered, joy-filled conversation about love, queer representation, creativity, and the power of sharing your authentic story. The couples discuss Angel City FC fandom, their iconic meet cute, Hayley’s new Victorian-era queer romance novel, and what it means to be visible and hopeful in today’s world. In classic BFFR fashion, the conversation is candid, warm, and punctuated with plenty of laughter and memorable insights.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Angel City FC, Visibility & Representation

• Fandom Stories: Hayley and Becca talk about becoming Angel City fans, sporting pride, and the impact of seeing LGBTQ+ and women’s representation on the field and in the stands.
• Ali Riley’s Emotional Home Farewell: Ali reflects on her last home game for Angel City and how much it meant:

  “So many people made me believe that we weren’t worth investing in. … To be living this is a dream that I didn’t know to have. And for you to be part of this beautiful chapter of my life is very, very meaningful.” (06:35)

• Power of Visibility: The group discusses how seeing queer women on and off the field helps normalize and celebrate their existence for younger generations.

2. Astrology, Birthdays, and Halloween

• Multiple guests share a Scorpio connection, riffing on zodiac compatibility and Halloween birthdays.
• Relatable moments about how personal identity and quirks show up even in lighthearted things like costumes and holiday plans.

  “I'm a Scorpio ally.” – Hayley Kiyoko (00:24)
  “I've never needed to have the birthday part of it... I love a wig.” – Becca Tilley (10:41)

• Warm banter about group and couple costumes—and the desire for more WLW (women loving women) character costumes, showing the importance of queer couples in pop culture.

  “My dream is to have a plethora of Halloween costumes for WLW couples.” – Hayley Kiyoko (13:36)

3. Hayley’s New Book: Where There’s Room for Us

• Writing Process & Inspiration: Hayley discusses how her second book moves beyond the world of Girls Like Girls into a Victorian-era setting inspired by her and Becca’s real-life "meet cute."

  “For me, creating content and telling stories, I always wanted to end in hope. ... And growing up, I never really had that hopeful representation.” (14:57)

• Queerness Through History: Hayley shares how the book explores what same-sex love and gender inequality would look like in a slightly alternate Victorian world.

  “What if it’s a little hyper reality where two gay men can inherit land... but two gay women cannot? ... There’s still pressure to have a son heir or marry a man.” (16:39)

• Audio Book Details: Hayley and Becca talk about producing the audiobook, with Jemima Kirke reading the British chapters to keep it authentic.

4. The Epic Meet Cute: Hayley & Becca

• How They Met: An organic, serendipitous story involving a missed DM, a would-be setup with Becca’s little sister, and a spontaneous five-hour date at Chateau Marmont.

  “We talked for, like, five hours and shut the bar down, and that was kind of it. … I just was like, wow, I’ve never felt that way before.” – Becca (20:43)
  “Seven and a half years later, here we are, engaged.” – Hayley (21:08)

• Honest and Hilarious: The back-and-forth includes Becca feigning outrage over being the backup to her own little sister, and both women reflecting on how authentic connection can surprise you.

5. Creative Drive, Directing & Challenging Norms

• Directing Out of Necessity: Hayley shares how she began directing music videos because she couldn’t afford outside talent, finding a true passion for storytelling in the process.

  “It was very much like, well, if I can’t do that, then I have to do it myself and I have to learn.” (26:49)

• The Highs and Lows of Creative Work: Stories of perseverance—like losing all footage for a Kehlani video and having to reshoot with little time—frame Hayley’s ethos:

  “Do I give up or do I keep going? ... I’m always chasing that challenge.” (29:46)

• Representation in Media: Hayley expresses her commitment to creating “hopeful, queer content” and the importance of seeing half-Asian, queer women in media.

  “My goal is just to make hopeful, queer content and, you know, represent half Asian girls, you know.” (31:07)

6. Becca’s Podcasting Journey & Community Building

• The Power of Community: Becca recounts the loyalty and support of her “Scrubbing In” podcast community, the journey from dating men to coming out and getting engaged to a woman—showing how friendship, storytelling, and personal evolution intertwine.

  “We have these people that are, like, so locked in. … We truck through, and it’s pretty incredible.” (32:44)

• Favorite Moments & Dream Guests: Becca’s highlights include their coming out episode and hopes of interviewing Sandra Oh and Ellen Pompeo.

7. The Engagement Story

• Elaborate Planning: Hayley orchestrated a top-secret, movie-like proposal in Mallorca—with location scouting, friends in the bushes, and sneaky TSA maneuvers.

  “I told Becca it was harder than directing the feature film… Like, that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” (37:49)

• Surprise and Joy: Becca had no idea, believing she would propose first. Details of hiding the ring in a Tate’s cookie bag and jumping in the ocean after the “yes.”

  “I grew up not being able to get, like, legally married, so it’s never been a dream of mine because it wasn’t allowed to be a dream. … It’s been so cool to experience these huge life moments and, like, legally be able to do it.” – Hayley (42:36)

8. The Importance of Queer Representation

• Pioneering Lyrics: The group discusses how Hayley’s music helped normalize queer stories, especially through she/her pronouns in pop music.

  “Before Haley singing about girls liking girls, it was not a thing that people were singing. Like, people weren’t using she pronouns. ... Haley was such a blueprint.” – Becca (45:22)

• Living Authentically (and Loudly): Their stories testify to how sharing authentically can inspire others, break isolation, and catalyze cultural change.

  “The only way to do that is to actually do it yourself and to break that glass ceiling so someone in the younger generation can maybe dream that, or even dream bigger.” – Hayley (45:10)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "My dream is to have a plethora of Halloween costumes for WLW couples." – Hayley Kiyoko (13:36)
• "To be living this is a dream that I didn't know to have." – Ali Riley (06:35)
• "We talked for like five hours and shut the bar down... I just was like, wow, I've never felt that way before." – Becca Tilley (20:43)
• "You have to care more than anyone else. And if you don't, then... it's not going to be something you can look back on and be like, I gave it my blood, sweat, and tears. I gave it my all." – Hayley Kiyoko (29:46)
• "It's a very simple concept. Yes, it should be. Right? ... And that's why we do what we do." – Hayley Kiyoko (44:24)
• "Sometimes I just want to be like, can you slow down? ... But she does, because she's like, if I don't do it, then what do we have?... You have to have a trailblazer, and Hayley is a trailblazer in this space, and it's really amazing." – Becca Tilley (45:22)

Rapid Fire Segment Highlights (46:44–52:40)

• Who’s more romantic?

  "Becca’s more romantic, for sure... But Haley is more romantic in the words of affirmation way." (47:05)

• Who’s more competitive?

  "I grew up thinking I was an athlete... This girl beats me in everything." – Hayley (47:45)

• On falling asleep first:

  "I'll be lucky to get through the second Wordle!" – Hayley (49:03)

• If they swapped lives a la Freaky Friday:

  "Me, because I like to rest and relax and don’t put stress in my life. Her life is crazy—scheduled every hour, 15 meetings per day.” – Becca (50:17)

Personal Reflections & Goodbyes (55:03–58:15)

• Favorite qualities about each other, emotional dedications (“I love how hard she loves…”).
• Both Ali and Hayley reflect on the impact of representation for queer, Asian American, and mixed-race women in sports and media.

  “As an Asian American, a biracial woman, I wish I had someone like you to look up to … You are truly being the change you wish to see in the world.” – Ali Riley (57:06)
  “Taking up that space and not only taking up the space but thriving in that space. … There’s space for all of us.” – Hayley Kiyoko (58:16)

Timestamps for Key Topics

• [06:00] – Ali’s Angel City farewell reflections
• [13:20] – Queer couples & inclusive Halloween costumes
• [14:21] – Hayley’s new novel & representation in historical fiction
• [17:54] – The real-life meet cute story
• [26:46] – Hayley on directing, persistence, and creative passion
• [31:07] – The importance of queer & Asian representation in media
• [32:44] – Becca on podcasting community
• [37:11] – The Mallorca engagement story
• [44:24] – Why they share their private lives publicly
• [46:44] – Fun rapid fire round
• [55:03] – Loving tributes and closing thoughts on representation

Tone & Atmosphere

The episode bubbles with warmth, gentle teasing, authenticity, and gratitude. The dynamic between both couples is playful and loving, with an open-hearted vulnerability that invites listeners into moments both lighthearted (costume debates, rapid-fire questions) and deeply resonant (representation, engagement, impact). The hosts create space for sincere thanks and foster a sense of community and hope.

Final Thoughts

This episode offers moving first-person perspectives on queer joy, the evolution of representation, and creative courage—from the soccer pitch to the bookshelf. Whether you’re a fan of sports, music, or stories about how love wins, it’s a celebration of making space—for ourselves, for each other, and for the next generation.